Feb
11
11
Shorter Michelle Malkin
Newsflash: Cable TV Filled With Jerks
- What really upsets me about the rude, sexist, yammering, insipid, vain, clownish, fraudulent hypocrites who appear on cable TV news is that I’m no longer one of them.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard.
And as TBogg noted a while back, I think this clip best exemplifies Michelle’s completely professional approach to responsible television journalism:
El Cid said,
February 11, 2008 at 15:31
One of her commenters mentioned how Joe Scarborough wasn’t so tightly disciplined for his comments about Fred Thompson’s wife needing a “pole”, presumably as a stripper.
Scarborough maybe isn’t a good example, because as a clever right winger he is, of course, immune from having uncomfortable questions investigated.
Roxanne said,
February 11, 2008 at 15:35
Yeah. But her column still appears in 200 “C” and “D” market newspapers in North America …meaning she is the very definition of mainstream media.
gbear said,
February 11, 2008 at 15:46
Yeah, but Michelle would be the first to tell you that columnists in ‘C’ and ‘D’ market newspapers are there because they’ve maintained their dignity and credibility, unlike those ass-kissers in the big time media (god how I miss it ::sniffle::).
moondancer said,
February 11, 2008 at 15:53
Dueling with crackpots…and fighting to a draw! Malkin, whose wings caught fire when she flew too close to the star orally, is nearing her nadir.
Jennifer said,
February 11, 2008 at 16:01
Heh. I was so tempted to leave her a comment about how there is at least one less jerk on cable news now…..
Blue Buddha said,
February 11, 2008 at 16:21
Nah. Too subtle. It will take her a long time to get it… if she ever does.
Pirelli's Purse said,
February 11, 2008 at 16:29
Did anyone see “There Will Be Blood” yet?
The Kenosha Kid said,
February 11, 2008 at 16:43
No cheerleading video?
Doug Watts said,
February 11, 2008 at 17:21
Several of Michelle’s female commenters agreed that the attack on Chelsea Clinton was way out of line — and were then attacked, of course. The more basic point is that women political figures, including Michelle Malkin, get a lot of underserved misogynist shit. I have participated in enough threads where Malkin is immediately referenced as a Filipino prostitute from Subic Bay, etc. etc. Michelle Malkin is a batshit crazy demagogue whose claim to fame is that putting Asian people into concentration camps is a great idea … but that doesn’t make the Filipino-prostitute angle against her any more noble.
Daddy Warbucks said,
February 11, 2008 at 17:25
This doesn’t look like a boy. Filipino prostitutes are boys!
pedestrian said,
February 11, 2008 at 17:32
I agree Doug that we still have a looooong way to go with misogyny on the left and the right. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a woman in the public spotlight who is not referred to by her detractors as
A) a sex object
C) an undesirable old bag
D) a dyke
E) a man
Well… maybe Peggy Noonan. Can’t think of anyone else.
Djur said,
February 11, 2008 at 17:38
pedestrian: Noonan is stereotype B: Empty-brained bimbo. The fact that she is in fact empty-brained is central to my point.
litbrit said,
February 11, 2008 at 17:48
Aaargh, you made me look.
And sure enough, the horrible grammar and clumsy style is still festering away Chez Michelle.
No, I haven’t blogged yet about MSNBC’s Chelsea/”pimp” brouhaha.
Can no-one on the right put together an elegant, logical sentence? I mean, to my mind, one of the strongest arguments against reading Jonah is the painfully dull prose he churns out: each cliché-stuffed declarative sentence approximates its predecessor, and God forbid there be a felicitous phrase or clever metaphor slipped in somewhere for the reader’s pleasure. And how did Malkin ever find work as a “journalist” anyway? I seem to remember fairly stringent requirements in terms of English grammar credit hours just to get the bloody degree in the first place. Then you had to show you could read your own stuff with poise and conviction.
Ugh, I feel like a hypercaffeinated anachronism this morning.
pedestrian said,
February 11, 2008 at 17:55
Hah. B was originally “slut” but I decided that A covered that one. You are absolutely right though, there is a “silly girl” stereotype that implies that certain women are less intelligent because they are women. You almost never see it seperated from A though.
It is true that a man who prattled on meaninglessly like Peggy does would also be laughed at, but at least partly for being too feminine. That is central to.. well, it used to be my… let’s just say it is a point that I am quite fond of, and these many things are central to it.
pedestrian said,
February 11, 2008 at 18:05
Ugh, I feel like a hypercaffeinated anachronism this morning.
No, believe me, you speak for the crowd. Actually, one of my justifications for spending so much time on this site is that I like to think that it improves my writing. It’s a fresh daily dose of “what not to do”.
bob the hog said,
February 11, 2008 at 18:41
How do you feel about the use of the nickname “Me So Malkin”? Is that OK?
Me said,
February 11, 2008 at 20:02
Pedestrian, you’re right of course, but let’s also point out that there’s hardly a male public figure (at least on the right) who isn’t mocked in these pages as:
A) a virgin
B) a closet homosexual
C) repulsive or ridiculous in appearance
D) a bedwetting coward
And generally speaking, those characterizations are absolutely correct. But the larger point, at least where S/N is concerned, is that we are equal opportunity mockers.
Doug Watts said,
February 11, 2008 at 20:15
Most folks here have a very clear understanding of when parody ridicule slips over the edge.
bob the hog said,
February 11, 2008 at 20:42
And I wouldn’t want to offend anyone here. So what’s your verdict? Me So Malkin – Ok, or not Ok?
Righteous Bubba said,
February 11, 2008 at 20:49
Bob, that’s a pretty fucking stupid game you’re playing.
Hog the Bob said,
February 11, 2008 at 20:54
Me so Boring
TomMil said,
February 11, 2008 at 21:01
Re: That Fox News Clip.
The Daily Show used to have children read transcripts from Fox (Hannity and Colmes), in this case, that would have been redundant.
jim said,
February 11, 2008 at 21:28
I used to like that kids-reading bit; but I think that as the viciousness increased, it just became less funny, and more like exposing innocent kids to toxins.
But I will say this for Malkin: at least she’s easy on the eyes. Turn the volume off, and I can almost forgive myself for feeling attracted.
Principal Blackman said,
February 11, 2008 at 21:53
I used to like that kids-reading bit; but I think that as the viciousness increased, it just became less funny, and more like exposing innocent kids to toxins.
Yeah, I felt the same way. On one hand, I liked the segments and wished they’d keep doing them. But on the other hand…funny as they may be, they still involve having kids recite a lot of hateful bullshit. Yuck.
Michelle Malkin is a batshit crazy demagogue whose claim to fame is that putting Asian people into concentration camps is a great idea … but that doesn’t make the Filipino-prostitute angle against her any more noble.
Exactly. All the “me love you long time” stuff and ping-pong-ball jokes are eye-rollingly stupid. Malkin pretty much hands you giftwrapped opportunities to make fun of her idiocy. Resorting to cheap jokes about Asian hookers is rank laziness (as well as stupid offensiveness–which is best left to the Malkins of the world).
Smiling Mortician said,
February 11, 2008 at 23:30
Um. You’re talking about the subjects of this site, right? Not the proprietors or the commentariat. Right?
stogoe said,
February 11, 2008 at 23:40
Noble? Hell no.
Mean? Yeah, sure, sir.
Hilarious? Absolutely.
Marco said,
February 12, 2008 at 0:37
Hilarious? No. Tired? Yes.
There’s plenty of real good reasons to bag on her. Platoon script-inspired put downs are something Michelle would stoop to.
Tommykey said,
February 12, 2008 at 1:02
I’m with Marco above. Besides, there’s no need to stop to such infantile comments when pointing out her own words and actions should be sufficient.
Jennifer said,
February 12, 2008 at 1:05
I see Doug Watts is over here once again lecturing us all on what is and is not acceptable.
Take it to your own blog, Doug. You know, the one no one reads.
porndog said,
February 12, 2008 at 1:22
Gosh, if there were no more Fox clips on S,N!, I wouldn’t mind a bit.
NoahC said,
February 12, 2008 at 2:00
Platoon script-inspired put downs
You mean Full Metal Jacket.
Adara said,
February 12, 2008 at 2:09
Michelle Malkin can suck it.
I’m sure groups of guys in a truck are following her as she walks down the street and calling out “SAND NIGGER!!!! AAAAHHAAHAHAHA SAND NIGGER!!!!!” when she walks down the street. Oh wait, no, that would be me that they’re screaming at, and I don’t even look middle-eastern. (This happened just before I got home today. In Seattle, no less.)
She gets some stupid comments on the intertoobz. How scary. Nobody is actually threatening her “RL” person. She loves to make herself a victim (just browse through the archives) so that she can get sympathy comments from creepy right-wing fanboi-types, but until she can tell me about a truly threatening or harmful situation, she can suck it.
RodeoBob said,
February 12, 2008 at 2:11
Sir! You wound us! Our list of comedy stereotype is far longer than those sad offerings. Some of S,N!’s favorite targets fail your test. Whither the Cheneys, the Doughbob Loadpants, the Swanks?
You omit our classics:
E) developmentally disabled
F) emotionally retarded
G) Sociopathic misathrope
H) deranged religious fanatic
I) functionally illiterate
J) product of nepotism
konstanze said,
February 12, 2008 at 4:01
Re: the video–it struck me as odd that they made a point to show the accuser’s photograph and give her full name. Did this happen on other stations, too? (I honestly don’t know–I didn’t follow the case).
JanetD said,
February 12, 2008 at 12:34
Dorothy L. Sayers (80 years ago, at least) noted that political extremism had a disastrous effect on one’s grammar, the primary tool of logical discourse. Things haven’t changed much!
Jim said,
February 12, 2008 at 14:57
Dear JanetD,
After having read the “Daily Kos” I couldn’t agree with you more.
tb said,
February 12, 2008 at 19:19
A real zinger, old fart wingnut-style.
tb said,
February 12, 2008 at 19:49
This business about there being rampant misogynistic bashing of Michelle Malkin is getting into zombie meme territory. When was the last time anyone who wasn’t obviously an idiot or a covert wingnut troll said any of this Malkin=Bangkok whore crap? 2004?
Righteous Bubba said,
February 12, 2008 at 19:57
I will cop to having made a ping-pong joke. I believe there were mitigating circumstances but I can fess up, and having that joke completely destroy her credibility and her entire life leaving her penniless on the street is why I feel the guilt I feel today.
Smiling Mortician said,
February 12, 2008 at 20:33
Yeah, George Orwell had a bit to say about that as well.
tb said,
February 12, 2008 at 21:29
Reading the words of these defenders of women I suddenly thought to myself “waitaminit, does anyone on the left even fucking say this stuff anymore?”. But don’t sweat it, anything’s cool so long as you make it funny.
Luna said,
February 13, 2008 at 2:26
Wow. I’m seriously impressed by the sudden bolt of feminism in here. Thank you for seeing the misogyny we feminists have been ‘screeching’ about for so many years.
tb: the left is pretty guilty of this shit too. Take a look at huffpo for some misogynist Clinton bashing pretty much any day of the week.
And take Katie Fuckin’ Couric and her bullshit ‘I heard you were called Sister Frigidaire in high school’ (loosely). Clinton laughed and turned it around on the little assholes who called her that, and now *she’s* being accused of having no sense of humour? WTF? What a question. Had Sen.Clinton not been so graceful, and refused to answer well, that nickname would be back in all its disgusting glory.
And I will say one thing about this site, there’s sometimes some pretty sexist shit here, but hell, it’s usually pretty wonderful. And that’s a hell of a lot better ratio than most places on the net. Y’all rock! :)
Chairman Meow said,
February 13, 2008 at 2:53
Smiling Mortician said,
Here’s the kicker in that article:
Anyone? Loadenhosen?
Johnny Coelacanth said,
February 13, 2008 at 7:12
“Malkin is immediately referenced as a Filipino prostitute from Subic Bay”
How utterly crass. Everybody knows that Olongapo City has the best prostitutes.