Sadly, No! » Friday Night Comedy

Feb
8

Friday Night Comedy

Posted at 23:52 by Sadly, No!

So funny, we had to hide it below:

WPvideo 1.10

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145 Comments »

Blue Buddha said,

February 8, 2008 at 23:56

Wow. I couldn’t even watch a minute of that. The laughter was either canned, or they wired 10,000 volts to each chair so that whoever doesn’t laugh gets zapped.
Sarcastro said,

February 8, 2008 at 23:56

My cat has better timing.
Smiling Mortician said,

February 8, 2008 at 23:58

I wasn’t really planning on vomiting until later this evening, but I guess it’s good to get these things out of the way early. So . . . thanks?
Kuda Bux said,

February 8, 2008 at 23:59

I like her sway. If I ever need to hypnotize a cobra, I know who to call.
Some Guy said,

February 8, 2008 at 23:59

Oh, dear god in a dead goat. Please, just stop trying. You’re not funny. You’re not.

I’d like to point out i thought her voice was grating and annoying and her posture was odd and distracting at best, even before I knew she was a right wing hack “funny” person.

…Fries with my big mac….. what the fuck? Explanation, please.
fardels bear said,

February 8, 2008 at 23:59

Yes, it is the timing that dooms this. “Here is the set up.” [beat beat] “And here is the punchline.”

Not that the jokes are particularly funny, but they are no lamer than anything Leno does. But Leno can make it work with his delivery. This young woman cannot.

And I didn’t get the Big Mac with fries joke at all. Would one of my betters please explain it to me?
Felix Moronia said,

February 9, 2008 at 0:00

I just woke up and haven’t had any coffee yet. Was that funny?
The Disgruntled Chemist said,

February 9, 2008 at 0:00

Holy shit, that was terrible. Why is she fidgeting so much?
fascistphil said,

February 9, 2008 at 0:00

Would’ve been funnier if she’d mentioned that Michael Moore was fat.
Hoosier X said,

February 9, 2008 at 0:01

Admit it. It was funnier than anything on the Half-Hour News Hour.
The Disgruntled Chemist said,

February 9, 2008 at 0:02

And I didn’t get the Big Mac with fries joke at all.

Yeah, what was that supposed to mean? Coffee doesn’t seem to help, ’cause I’ve had like 5 cups today and I still don’t get it.
bobbo said,

February 9, 2008 at 0:02

Comic genius! The next Dennis Miller! And a great delivery, too. “News item.” Pause. Shake hair. Pause. “Joke.” Smirk. Shake hair. Repeat.
Jas said,

February 9, 2008 at 0:02

I have never been so happy that my workplace filters out streaming video in my entire life.
Felix Moronia said,

February 9, 2008 at 0:02

and through the entire ? from the look in her eyes she knew she was bombing.
goat or panic said,

February 9, 2008 at 0:04

Is this where funny goes to die?
Hoosier X said,

February 9, 2008 at 0:04

Which doesn’t mean it wasn’t terrible. And I bet somebody thought it was funny. Like all those people who buy all that Mallard Fillmore merchandise, the paperbacks, the T-shirts, the notebooks, the stickers, the Mallard Fillmore waterboards.

(Beat)

You know. Dr. BLT’s audience.

(Canned laughter.)
comsympinko said,

February 9, 2008 at 0:04

AAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!1!!111!!!
El Cid said,

February 9, 2008 at 0:06

That was very funny. Only the good patriot American conservatives can write comedy that is so good.
Nimrod Gently said,

February 9, 2008 at 0:10

My thought process

a) Oh God, please don’t do it.

b) Torture is hilarious! Those silly torture-opposing people! They’re so silly with their basic concern for the dignity of the human race!

c) THERE IS AN AUDIBLE THUD AT EVERY PUNCHLINE. FOR GOD’S SAKE STOP.

d) Okay, I believe that part about crying herself to sleep in front of the Golden Girls.

e) SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP

f) NO.
Grand Moff Texan said,

February 9, 2008 at 0:11

Joan Jett keeps swaying to tell the audience when to laugh.

Or maybe she needs a new butt-plug.
.
Raplh Wiggum said,

February 9, 2008 at 0:13

goat or panic said,

February 9, 2008 at 0:04

Is this where funny goes to die?

This funny makes my tummy hurt. :(
Simba B said,

February 9, 2008 at 0:14

Of course it had an ad at the end.

For an astroturfing organization no less.

Crappy product with ads.

Ah, the wonders of the free market…
Jen said,

February 9, 2008 at 0:14

Every day, when I see Mallard Fillmore, I think, no one could possibly find this funny. Literally, the creator himself cannot think that this is funny. And now I am afraid that I could be wrong. And the sun doesn’t shine so brightly anymore. Thanks a lot.
DirtyFuckingHippie said,

February 9, 2008 at 0:16

Being in prison, I can’t have audio. Will someone please tell me who this woman is and where she came from?
Matt said,

February 9, 2008 at 0:17

why are her lips so wet?
Sadly, No! said,

February 9, 2008 at 0:17

The fries with the Big Mac joke is that even though she’s on the internet, she isn’t making any money — being paid in Happy Meals that don’t even include fries. Get it? Get it?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!#?!@@121/2@?!?
DirtyFuckingHippie said,

February 9, 2008 at 0:18

Matt said,

February 9, 2008 at 0:17

why are her lips so wet?

Flop sweat?
Hoosier X said,

February 9, 2008 at 0:20

She should look into some of that wingnut welfare they are handing out in assloads to Jonah, Ann, Rush, Halliburton, Blackwater …
kiki said,

February 9, 2008 at 0:21

The canned laughter sounds like 8-year-olds.

[Pause]

Appropriately enough.
slackor said,

February 9, 2008 at 0:22

Why is she fidgeting so much?

Crystal Meth sammiches is my guess.
Grand Moff Texan said,

February 9, 2008 at 0:23

why are her lips so wet?

They just uploaded the “talking points”.
.
kiki said,

February 9, 2008 at 0:24

“Every day, when I see Mallard Fillmore, I think, no one could possibly find this funny. Literally, the creator himself cannot think that this is funny.”

I imagine that when he finishes a strip, it’s a bit like Poppy Bush in The Simpsons finishing his memoirs. “Mmm, good cartoon. Not… great, but good.”
Jay B. said,

February 9, 2008 at 0:25

The blondes in the opening audience shot can’t bring themselves to clap, or maybe they just don’t know how.

And she might be right about waterboarding. It can hardly be worse than watching 30 seconds of nonsensical torture jokes. Am I right, folks?
Mallard Fillmore said,

February 9, 2008 at 0:31

I’m funnier than Dr. BLT. Right?

Please say right!
Blue Buddha said,

February 9, 2008 at 0:35

Matt said,

February 9, 2008 at 0:17

why are her lips so wet?

fap fap fap fap…
dan b said,

February 9, 2008 at 0:40

wow…I never thought I’d see that day when there was someone who could make Julia Gorin look professional.

well, I’m exaggerating, but still…that hurt.
J— said,

February 9, 2008 at 0:45

I laughed out loud at the fries joke. Not because it was funny but rather because it was so fucking dreadful.

That woman’s deliver is terrible. They used to have this schlepper. I don’t know who’s worse.
pedestrian said,

February 9, 2008 at 0:45

The sad thing is, she’s probably the life of every party she goes to.
Jody said,

February 9, 2008 at 0:47

I’m having trouble coming to terms with the fact that WAS EPISODE 138. There are 137 MORE of those travesties out there right now, dumbening our internet.
Arky The Blasphemer said,

February 9, 2008 at 0:48

Holy shit, that was terrible. Why is she fidgeting so much?

Hint: That’s not a dress, its a fancy red wet suit.

That fucking lip/tooth smacking thing she does is grounds for grevious bodily assault.

Well, it should be.
Walt said,

February 9, 2008 at 0:50

Why are her hands glued to the desk?
justme said,

February 9, 2008 at 0:50

The awful delivery and limp material are sad enough, but I knew as soon as it was apparent just how bad the chroma-key job was that this was truly the work of lesser primates. 10-1 odds it was done in some cheesy public access studio on a GV 110. Come on, guys, it’s one stinkin’ knob (okay, three, but still). Turn it ’til it doesn’t suck.
Me said,

February 9, 2008 at 0:51

“Let’s see, we’ve had Jaws 1, Jaws 2 and Jaws 3. What’s next…Jaws 4?!?

Thank you, be sure and tip your waitress.”
Flying Fox said,

February 9, 2008 at 0:52

I don’t get it. Why can’t conservatives tell jokes? Its not that hard. Well okay, being consistently funny is very hard and as with everything else, the skilled and talented make it look easy.

Kuda Brux: Good idea. But if the season is right, the cobra will get turned on.
pedestrian said,

February 9, 2008 at 0:53

J-
She is worse. The other guy at least has that drunk-stupid-sweaty-frat-boy-who’s-about-to-soil-his-ill-fitting-suit charm.

[pause]
[hair flip]

And he’s single!
t4toby said,

February 9, 2008 at 0:53

her posture was odd and distracting at best

Couldn’t get past that. She looked like deep down she’d like to crawl out of her skin and slither into a nearby sewer drain.

Maybe Wingnuts are missing the Funny Bone. It really would explain quite a bit…
Galactic Dustbin said,

February 9, 2008 at 0:54

man say what you will about how evil we liberal fascists are, but at least we know how to write

(beat… head shake)

and tell a joke!
SomeNYGuy said,

February 9, 2008 at 0:55

Walt said,

Why are her hands glued to the desk?

So she can’t escape. Or signal for help.
Atlas Scruggs said,

February 9, 2008 at 0:58

So, could somebody explain the one about the Mi’kmaq and the flies?
t4toby said,

February 9, 2008 at 0:58

I like how they have to keep cutting the scene because she couldn’t even deliver this tripe without screwing up every other joke.

Remember the alien in the Earl suit in Men in Black? I’m not sure why I thought of that.
pedestrian said,

February 9, 2008 at 0:59

Ted Kennedy – check
Bill Clinton – check
Hillary Clinton -check
black people – check
terrorists – check

Oh, but she forgot homos and Mexicans.

C+
Flying Fox said,

February 9, 2008 at 1:01

Cause she’s stiff, rubbery, fake looking and possibly not of this world?
Busta said,

February 9, 2008 at 1:02

“Hey, has anybody noticed that my hands are flopping around on the desk like drowning trout?”

(Long pause)

“It’s because of a deep-seated lack of self-confidence and the horrible certainty that I’ll screw up this simple job and have to back to waiting tables at the local IHOP!”

(Insincere laughter)
J— said,

February 9, 2008 at 1:04

Yes, pedestrian, I think you’re right. He annoys me because of his drunken frat boy smugness, but at least he provokes a reaction. Aside from her Joan Jett hairdo, she’s just dreary and boring.
Blue Buddha said,

February 9, 2008 at 1:05

Jody said,

February 9, 2008 at 0:47

I’m having trouble coming to terms with the fact that WAS EPISODE 138. There are 137 MORE of those travesties out there right now, dumbening our internet.

Too bad you can only submit samples of text to Stupid Filter
Chairman Meow said,

February 9, 2008 at 1:05

Conservatives are funnier when they’re serious.

This was comedy tin.
Susan of Texas said,

February 9, 2008 at 1:07

Comedy surprises and is rebellious. It takes bravery because you have to be able to laugh at yourself as well as others. Comedians take pain and uses it to connect to and entertain people.

Conservatives can do none of these things.
justme said,

February 9, 2008 at 1:08

I’m having trouble coming to terms with the fact that WAS EPISODE 138.

This makes the green screen debacle just that much worse. Not only can’t they manage to walk in and do it on the fly, they’ll screw it up the first, fourteenth, fifty second and one hundred and thirty eighth time, too, and every time in between.

You could almost forgive it in a one-off, but this???
djangone of the mattes said,

February 9, 2008 at 1:17

The content being handled by previous commenters, it falls to some geek to mention the technicals. So here’s that:

That’s the worst greenscreen I’ve ever seen. Green spill in her hair, dirty matte fringe around her body. The halfwits who put this thing together couldn’t get a job doing public access in Tashkent.
El Tiburon said,

February 9, 2008 at 1:17

Damn my eyes. Damn this computer.

Damn the internet tubes. Damn it all to hell.
J— said,

February 9, 2008 at 1:21

Bring out the geekiness, please. I’d like to hear more on the technical shortcomings that have gone into making this lead balloon.
Flying Fox said,

February 9, 2008 at 1:25

That bunch uses the 1xy style season shorthand. This is episode 38 of season 1. How would a web series handle seasons, I wonder?
t4toby said,

February 9, 2008 at 1:34

Two observations:

Who are the random ~~hot~~ chicks clapping at the beginning? I think someone’s Padre Island Comedy Club footage was cribbed.

She’s not actually in front of the White House?
t4toby said,

February 9, 2008 at 1:35

What happened to my bullet points???
Galactic Dustbin said,

February 9, 2008 at 1:38

That bunch uses the 1xy style season shorthand. This is episode 38 of season 1. How would a web series handle seasons, I wonder?

but still, 38!?!!1??

I mean I learned how to use a croma key my second day in Community College. Jumpin Jesus on a pogo-stick! First Pantload and then Tony the Stockbroker and now this. How have we been beaten down by these morons for 25 years?
Jay B. said,

February 9, 2008 at 1:39

Does anyone remember laughter?
bob the hog said,

February 9, 2008 at 1:41

I think she’s trying to ripoff Jane Curtin.
Harry Cheddar said,

February 9, 2008 at 1:44

“why are her lips so wet?”

Republican trouser gravy.

On the plus side, its good to see Dennis Miller’s gag writers have found work.
Father Tyme said,

February 9, 2008 at 1:44

Slow comedy day at Sadly, No? Or is someone losing the ability to determine funny?
Funny scale of that site from 1 to 10 – 1.5 (.5 for content and 1 for titles)
Jay B. said,

February 9, 2008 at 1:46

My anti-irony meter just imploded.
Scandi said,

February 9, 2008 at 1:51

it’s the smirk after every joke that gets me…if the joke is really funny, you don’t have to point out how funny with a wink and nudge to the audience
kiki said,

February 9, 2008 at 1:51

Susan of Texas said,

February 9, 2008 at 1:07

Comedy surprises and is rebellious…

True dat. I once copy-edited an essay on comedy. The basic thesis was that good comedy is always anti-establishment, and bad comedy is always pro-establishment.

“Hey, how about that status quo? Is it awesome or what?”

“Hey, who else here hates that ‘rock’ music?”

“Hey, how about those rich white guys, huh? They deserve every penny!”

Fuckin’ hilarious.
J— said,

February 9, 2008 at 1:55

The basic thesis was that good comedy is always anti-establishment

politically liberal

and bad comedy is always pro-establishment.

politically reactionary
Mo's Bike Shop said,

February 9, 2008 at 1:59

I don’t get it. Why can’t conservatives tell jokes?

Because they don’t laugh at humor.
Righteous Bubba said,

February 9, 2008 at 2:12

I don’t get it. Why can’t conservatives tell jokes?

They can, there just aren’t very many of those. The ones telling the jokes are cultists. Imagine a Scientologist telling a joke the punchline of which involves an exploding E-meter.
mat said,

February 9, 2008 at 2:28

Who wrote those awful fucking jokes, Soupy Sales?
owlbear1 said,

February 9, 2008 at 2:31

How have we been beaten down by these morons for 25 years?

We lie about sex they lie about everything else…
brendancalling said,

February 9, 2008 at 2:36

nice. i like the 5 second pause between every “punchline”.
Quotes added because punchlines are supposed to be funny.
Someone should waterboard that woman.
Ned Pepper said,

February 9, 2008 at 2:51

The Clintons have been subjected to more character assassination than any other politician(s) in the United States. I don’t know how they take it. I would be FAR more of a sociopath than I am if it had been done to me. Remember the attacks on Chelsea when she was just a kid? Just because she was the daughter of the Great Satans. And of course the corporate media has aided and abetted it every step of the way.
mikey said,

February 9, 2008 at 2:53

I learned this by reading “The Complete Idiots Guide to Sadly, No”.

When a post is primarily based around a video link, particularly if there is very little commentary, as if to indicate the video will stand by itself in suckage, and no amount of mockery is necessary or even helpful in understanding, indeed, in grokking the horrible suckitude of the video itself, the visitor should immediately do the following.

First, under NO circumstances should you ever, EVER click the link. As has been pointed out repeatedly, a thing once seen cannot be un-seen, and the amount of disastrous suck and the horrendous, hypocritical utter lack of self awareness represented by Right Wing attempts at humor can result in permanent emotional scarring.

Instead, scroll down and read the comments. Adventurous members of the commentariat will actually journey down the soul-sucking river to the heart of darkness that is YouTube, and upon their return, so much the worse for the experience though they might be, they will report in detail just exactly how much suckage they found. Like a Park Ranger in the Seventh Circle, a Tour Guide in Treblinka or perhaps a Bwana in Darfur, they will go to the epicenter of horror and provide you with real time insight without damaging your sensibilities or ruining your lovely pasta dinner.

After reading the comments, feel free to join in the pile-on, knowing you are on the side of the angels without having to experience mind-numbing, savage, industrial grade weaponized stupid for yourself.

mikey
justme said,

February 9, 2008 at 2:55

Too bad you can only submit samples of text to Stupid Filter

That, sir, is truly brilliant.

Sorry To Say But I Doubt It Coz Travis And Mark Like Hate Tom Now And Apparently Tom’s Sorta An Idiot Now. +44 Rock But I Dont Think AVA Are Very Good.
justme said,

February 9, 2008 at 2:59

Oh, and I’m really happy I’m not the only one who finds the green-screen ineptitude to be a personal affront.
Scott said,

February 9, 2008 at 3:01

I got through the first joke and gave up.

It’s not just that she’s painfully unfunny. It’s that her delivery makes you want to beat her with a Chrysler. That smirk inspires supernatural amounts of loathing — I gotta suspect that someone I knew in high school must’ve smirked like that, because I can’t imagine caring that much otherwise…
Jennifer said,

February 9, 2008 at 3:03

I think most of you failed to check out my link of Peter Weller giving a dramatic reading of a brief biographical sketch of Jonah Goldberg.

You should not miss this. Have I ever led you astray, she asked?
tb said,

February 9, 2008 at 3:07

i like the 5 second pause between every “punchline”.

That’s a little thing the comedy professionals call “timing”. All your great comedians, your Richard Pryors, your Gallaghers, they put that 5 second pause in there, like a machine. It’s how you tell if somebody’s good.
Batocchio said,

February 9, 2008 at 3:12

Mixing GOP lies in with bad material, delivered with horrible timing. Wow.
moondancer said,

February 9, 2008 at 3:19

That was a “how not to” instructional, right?
Randy Owens said,

February 9, 2008 at 3:20

SomeNYGuy said,

Walt said,

Why are her hands glued to the desk?

So she can’t escape. Or signal for help.

But she could be blinking in code! Or shaking her hair in code!
Sangemon said,

February 9, 2008 at 3:23

Ohhh, it’s Conservative Comedy.

Oh, ok, now I get it.
fascistphil said,

February 9, 2008 at 3:30

Instead, scroll down and read the comments. Adventurous members of the commentariat will actually journey down the soul-sucking river to the heart of darkness that is YouTube, and upon their return, so much the worse for the experience though they might be, they will report in detail just exactly how much suckage they found. Like a Park Ranger in the Seventh Circle, a Tour Guide in Treblinka or perhaps a Bwana in Darfur, they will go to the epicenter of horror and provide you with real time insight without damaging your sensibilities or ruining your lovely pasta dinner.

It’s your turn next week so don’t be getting all smug on our ass. Maybe if you’re lucky M’a'r’i'e’ J’o'n” will start vlogging.

java phil
Wilfredo said,

February 9, 2008 at 3:34

I really don’t appreciate being lured “below the fold” to watch such crap. But I just could not take my eyes off that bloody disaster. That was horrible! Now I’m going to be tense all night.
Tim (the other one) said,

February 9, 2008 at 3:49

I lasted 2 “jokes”. I return home to this ??
gbear said,

February 9, 2008 at 3:49

Ooh, Mikey, it’s as if you had written those words from my very soul.

(it took me months before I broke down and watched the Malkin cheerleader video. I learned my lesson)
gbear said,

February 9, 2008 at 3:52

(and I guess my soul would qualify as an idiots guide to S,N!)
John O said,

February 9, 2008 at 3:53

That was the worst shit I have ever seen as an excuse for “comedy.”

It was a train wreck of can’t-take-my-eyes-off-it proportions.

I wonder how much she gets paid?

Honest to God, the country is circling the drain. This is just one fine example.

Maybe she’s squirming so badly because she realizes how bad it all is. I’ve seen funnier bits at funerals. Seriously.

I don’t even know, nor do I care, who the fuck that moroness is. I mean, ’nuff said.
pedestrian said,

February 9, 2008 at 4:01

Thanks Jennifer that was informative and enlightening! :-) In Jonah’s case, however, I don’t the he put up much of a fight. One morning Lucienne suddenly realized that something was different about him and decided that it was that he had become a little more intelligent and slightly less self-centered.

She didn’t realize what horrible events were transpiring until he started crapping out books through his pointy ass-teeth. But by then it was too late.
\
Jennifer said,

February 9, 2008 at 4:02

Damn.

I guess none of ya’ll are ever going to check out my link. And it was so on target, too.
pedestrian said,

February 9, 2008 at 4:03

the = think
Trilateral Chairman. said,

February 9, 2008 at 4:04

That’s the worst greenscreen I’ve ever seen.

No shit.

Let me tell you something. I have rotten vision, and I regularly miss bad special effects that are obvious to other people. I watched that video on my laptop, the screen of which is dirty as hell given that (1) the cats like to snuggle with it and (2) I always have it nearby when I’m cooking. I didn’t blow it up at all, so it was maybe 3 inches by 2 inches…and I could STILL see how awful a greenscreen it was. It looked like it had been shot in 1985 at the latest.
pedestrian said,

February 9, 2008 at 4:10

I tried watching it with the volume off. It’s actually worse that way.
RodeoBob said,

February 9, 2008 at 4:15

Watching this reminds me why Jon Stewart is successful… it’s not the format, it’s not the timing, it’s the writing.

Part of what hurts is that it’s a sad endles series of single one-liners, rather than having any more solid setup or followthrough.

Some of the material could be “Daily Show” worthy, but really, the delivery is terrible. The bit about the adulterous politician had promise, but was squandered with a transparent “hillary” joke. You know if TDS used it, they’d would have shown Newt Gingrich AND Bill Clinton. Or they could have made a Larry Craig joke. Or even a joke about not resigning with a freezer full of cash. That’s followthrough, people. (and if you really wanted to make a Kennedy joke, this would be the place to make it!)

Bad comedy teaches us a lot about good comedy. TDS works because it’s very clearly NOT partisan; it’s opportunistic. The Obama-as-rebel-getting-endorsed-Kennedy bit could have been funny if it had been presented deadpan; adding the “Mr. Anti-establishment” bit just telegraphed the [ pause for a second ] punchline, letting the humor bleed out all over the floor like a shivved prisoner waiting in the lunch line. And why, oh why, if you’re going to knock Obama for the Kennedy endorsement, why not pick up the spare with a reference to Mr. Straight Talk Express, the “Maverick” McCain?

The Obama fundraising joke was just stupid. Ha ha, Oprah has lots of money! Imagine, if you will, the same setup, with the punchline being a mention of Ron Paul’s fundraising with a reference to the Ron Paul liberty dollars. (I’m seeing a throwaway line about Mitt Romney nickels: perfect for flipping, since either side is equally likely any given day. Again, followthrough!)

And I honestly don’t know how anyone can fail to make a funny joke out of the proposed Microsoft/Yahoo deal. The name gags alone (MicroHoo? Already taken by a midget porn site. YaSoft? OK, maybe I shouldn’t have said that after the porn joke…) are a sure bet. But the akward “you can make a lot of money on some parts of the internet ” just makes me dread the punchline.

And now I’m discussing funny in a very unfunny way, on a comedy site. What have you done to my Friday evening?
Liberal Masochist (BJS) said,

February 9, 2008 at 4:24

I just randomly picked an a few episodes. There all like this! Canned laughter for sure…
Doctorb Science said,

February 9, 2008 at 4:25

I thought the “making money on the internet” one was going to be about her doing low-budget porn and being paid in food. Then I figured that NewsBusted is an internet-only show, so she was just talking about being paid in food for her lousy, badly-delivered comedy.

Anyway, it would be delivered much better by Dr. Zoidberg.
Randy Owens said,

February 9, 2008 at 4:40

Liberal Masochist (BJS) said,

I just randomly picked an a few episodes….

And that’s why they call you “Liberal Masochist.”
owlbear1 said,

February 9, 2008 at 5:06

The pause is to allow her target audience to catch up.
owlbear1 said,

February 9, 2008 at 5:09

Here’s a vision of Hell.

Being the person who has to go through the pool of audition tapes that lost to her.
b said,

February 9, 2008 at 5:33

Holy crap, that’s the 138th episode of that monstrosity?

It appears their writing team is on strike. They’re offering to pay fifty bucks for “jokes”:

“Want to try your hand at comedy? Send your (short) jokes to rightstuffcomedy at yahoo.com. If we use them, we’ll pay you USD $50.”

Two episodes a week, five jokes an espisode, five hundred bucks a week, two grand a month -> Gavin/Brad, I see $24k for you annually if you just reach out and grasp for it…
Me said,

February 9, 2008 at 5:35

My conservative friends are in an impossible quandary–they all have a good sense of humor (that’s why they’re my friends), which means that they absolutely cannot deny that John Stewart and Stephen Colbert are funny, or that bullshit like the above video is not.

It’s a tough position to be in. That’s why I send them “Daily Show” links as often as possible.
Maggot infested sack of oozing puss said,

February 9, 2008 at 5:37

Jennifer – I clicked your link. Loved it, thanks!
noen said,

February 9, 2008 at 5:40

Gah!!!
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

February 9, 2008 at 5:49

I also clicked Jennifer’s link.

“Talking assholes” perfectly describes modern conservatism in America. With the sole exception of the eyes.

Conservative talking assholes aren’t going to let a little thing like being unable to see stop them from plucking those MFers out.

Looks like Freedom™!
~
Some Guy Named Matt said,

February 9, 2008 at 6:17

There are just some things that you just can unseen!!
The Kenosha Kid said,

February 9, 2008 at 6:35

She sways so much because she is the scoliosis chick from “Day by Day.”
Proteus454 said,

February 9, 2008 at 7:04

Why? Why you do this?
cowalker said,

February 9, 2008 at 7:31

Somebody ask Dennis Miller if she’s a relation.
cowalker said,

February 9, 2008 at 7:38

Jeebus on a cracker, Jennifer. How did Cronenburg know that the Doughy Pantload would evolve like that?
trollhattan said,

February 9, 2008 at 7:49

Arrrgh, Dennis Miller without his thesarus but with his SNL haircut. “How ’bout that Nancy Pelosi? Boy, does she blink a lot, or what?”

Rinse, repeat.
Jennifer said,

February 9, 2008 at 7:51

Well, actually, I think it was perhaps Burroughs who prognosticated the evolution of Der Lodenhosen…and inventive dude though he was, and not to take anything away from him but…how could any sentient observer not foresee the ultimate evolutionary destination of Pantload et al?
D.N. Nation said,

February 9, 2008 at 8:21

I reached about 36 seconds before hearing absolute bullcrap (Clinton: “The economy must be slowed blah blah blah,” too bad he never said that, dipshits).

And then I stopped listening. Hey, “Half-Hour News Hour.” Lonely over there in the grave of unfunny shit? Here’s company.
D.N. Nation said,

February 9, 2008 at 8:28

Also, I’d still hit it.
Pope Bandar bin Turtle said,

February 9, 2008 at 10:55

Jennifer said,

February 9, 2008 at 3:03

I think most of you failed to check out my link of Peter Weller giving a dramatic reading of a brief biographical sketch of Jonah Goldberg.

You should not miss this. Have I ever led you astray, she asked?

My favorite part from one of my favorites movies!

My second favorite part:

His falling piles blew out the Duc de Ventre’s Hispano Suiza and wrapped around the rear wheel. He was completely gutted, leaving an empty shell sitting there on the giraffe skin upholstery…. Even the eyes and brain went with a horrible schlupping sound. The Duc de Ventre says he will carry that ghastly schlup to his mausoleum.
jimmiraybob said,

February 9, 2008 at 16:26

You have to remember, the gold standard for conservative humor is Ann Coulter. The silver standard…..El Rushbo. The bronze standard…..Dennis Miller.
Dagoril said,

February 9, 2008 at 17:35

Shame on you Sadly, No! for tricking me into watching that video! It was about as funny as Jonah Goldberg knocking down old ladies, trying to get to the snack food isle in the local megamart, prior to a 3 day Cheetos binge.

Now I’m going to have to watch some Barbara Bush pr0n to get this out of mind…
Doodle Bean said,

February 9, 2008 at 17:38

You know, I just woke up. I’ve been fighting a cold for the past week. I haven’t had one drop of caffeine yet. I was just logging on to read the gripping CPAC dispatches of MLP (to which I have become quite addicted).

All to say that my brain really wasn’t working well when I read the post and foolishly clicked on the video.

Damn you, S,N!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That video was unspeakably stupid and now I have that smirk and grating voice stuck in my head. I’m going back to bed!
jlo said,

February 9, 2008 at 18:28

This is funny for folks who think Home Improvement and According to Jim is funny.

God bless their idiotic hearts.
Dan Someone said,

February 9, 2008 at 18:29

I like how they have to keep cutting the scene because she couldn’t even deliver this tripe without screwing up every other joke.

Actually, I find it a little bit encouraging to think that maybe one person, one small voice, involved with that production actually had sufficient brain capacity to say “No, that ‘joke’ isn’t even funny enough for this train wreck” and cut something.
Bookish said,

February 9, 2008 at 18:30

When my dog started suffering like that, we put him down. It’s the only humane thing to do.
sagra said,

February 9, 2008 at 19:24

I swear as God as my witness, I’ll never not laugh at Jon Stewart again.
sagra said,

February 9, 2008 at 19:30

“I don’t get it. Why can’t conservatives tell jokes?”

They’re better at physical humor. You know, like ganging up on some poor schmuck from the wrong side of the tracks and kicking his teeth out. Yee haw!!
Joe Max said,

February 9, 2008 at 19:30

The laughter was either canned, or they wired 10,000 volts to each chair so that whoever doesn’t laugh gets zapped.

It was canned. You can tell by the way the laugh track continued even through the edits (if you can call the “spin effect” on the video toaster a “effect”.)

Smug bitch.
sagra said,

February 9, 2008 at 19:43

“The Obama fundraising joke was just stupid. Ha ha, Oprah has lots of money!”

Am I the only one who go the “Ha ha, Black men steal stuff!” part?
Robster said,

February 9, 2008 at 20:27

Somewhere on a studio set, Dennis Miller is yelling, “Who the &@%* stole my jokes?”
Spokane Moderate said,

February 9, 2008 at 21:25

Stupid internet! Be more funny!
tigrismus said,

February 9, 2008 at 22:49

I couldn’t get the sound to work. Maybe there is a God?
Thursday said,

February 10, 2008 at 1:49

Wow.

First: I’m going to go re-read all the P.J. O’Rourke I own, just as a reminder that there ARE people out there who are smart, funny, and in the opposite political side from me;

Second: Lay the hell off Joan Jett. The is cooler than any gabbling vidiot could aspire to be. The hapless form promoting its own feeble intellect shown here is Anti-Rock and Roll; it is Anti-Punk; it is indeed the Anti-Jett.

Joan Jett still gets me hard. This pathetic rag? Not with a hood, gag and bottle of NoDoze.
Xavier Breath said,

February 10, 2008 at 6:00

The conservatives want to win the funny wars of the 00s like Goldwater wanted to take the 60s. Beware 30 years from now, when blatantly unfunny will become the new funny.
Sadly, No! said,

February 10, 2008 at 10:29

Maybe if you’re lucky M’a'r’i'e’ J’o'n” will start vlogging.

Oh, yes, please. Please!
Neilson said,

February 10, 2008 at 20:25

The only remotely funny joke was the one about the Stars Wars nerds at the end. This wasn’t as ridiculously bad the “The Half Hour News Hour” but it was still pretty bad. Which brings me to the question, why aren’t conservatives funny? Has anyone witnessed any genuinely funny conservative humor?
Neilson said,

February 10, 2008 at 20:51

Rodeobob:

I agree that The Daily Show’s effectiveness is largely due to excellent writing, but I wouldn’t rule out format so quickly. In a typical episode Jon will discuss a single issue or event in a monologue for several minutes and then segue to a dialog with one of his correspondents about it.

I’m not sure if this makes TDS funnier, but it makes it better and less shallow. Jon and his writers clearly consider each issue seriously. Focusing on a single issue or event allows them to have more complex jokes, or jokes that build on each other, but also informs the viewer and encourages him or her to think about and discuss political issues.

I think this has a lot to do with what makes TDS also better than SNL’s “Weekend Update”, which like “Newsbusters” is mostly about one-liners.
Ex-Blogger said,

February 11, 2008 at 20:29

The most important comedic element of A Daily Show is the comedic timing. Jon and the correspondents (band name, anyone?) have amazing grasps on their ability to time a joke so it’s just awkward enough to be funny.
WoodyD said,

February 12, 2008 at 1:28

Plaid Adder over at DU has an excellent explanation of what made the Half Hour News Hour, and what makes conservative “humor” in general, so tragically unfunny. Scroll down — it’s a ways down on the page.

http://journals.democraticunderground.com/?az=archives&j=492&page=1

And holy crap on a cracker, I could get a better chromakey clip than that on our shitty little college video mixing board. In 1985. The writing, the delivery, the utterly predictable targets, the painfully awkward setup for an unfunny punchline — so when they were done, they looked at this and said, “Yup, that’s a keeper. Let’s post it and let the laughter begin!”
Dr Zen said,

February 12, 2008 at 2:38

Nice to see that the comedy cream is still rising to the top in the US.
zuzu said,

February 12, 2008 at 4:01

Tina Fey watch yer back.
BlueHerald 2.0 - News You Can Abuse! said,

February 12, 2008 at 10:30

[...] Clinton on this one — while the RNC and TownHall.com spread the lie (as did a conservative “comedy” video — watch it at your own [...]
Black Like Fred « BIG INK said,

February 29, 2008 at 20:11

[...] “Let’s get one thing straight,” indeed. Forget the possibility that the white part of Armisen was playing the white part of Obama (whereas the black part of Obama was presumably robbing the Asian part of Armisen’s bodega). You can’t fit comedy into a social or political agenda (which is different from saying you can’t use comedy to examine a social or political agenda, which is what its for, in large part). Political comedy has an agenda, absolutely, but that style is politics bound up with comedy, not punchlines as party lines. You can do it, of course. But you end up with something that rapidly recedes from being funny, until it achieves a distance infinitely removed from anything that could called comedy, except in the brittlest structural sense. Like so. [...]

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