Veni. Vidi. Cacavi.

victor_socrates_hanson
ABOVE: Jacques-Louis David, La Mort de Hanson, huile
sur toile, 1787

Shorter Victor Davius Gaius Valens Hostilianus Messius Quintus Hanson,* Pessimus Angulus Americae Occulto Per Fimus™:
One-Eighth of Americans on ‘Nutritional Aid’

  • Whilst I was soujourning in Selmaticus, Alabamus, coram me cernere — that means, for those untutored in the classical tongues, “I beheld with mine own eyes” — a stampede in an agora, or, in the vulgate, a shopping mall. This could only mean that people are spending money that they save by using food stamps to buy GPS units and LCD TVs. Q.E.D.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard. We are aware of all Internet traditions.™


*Victor Davius Gaius Valens Hostilianus Messius Quintus Hanson was a Roman farmer who lived during the 1st Century BC and about whom Catullus, his contemporary, is thought to have written the legendary couplet: “Culus tibi purior salillo est/nec toto decies cacas in anno.”
 

Comments: 689

 
 
 

There seems to be a lot of food stamp concern trolling lately. I wonder how long it is before Joe Lieberman is telling David Gregory that anyone collecting unemployment benefits surely doesn’t need the additional assistance, while Georges Stephanopoulus and Will are agreeing with Newt Gingrich that the recipients are lucky duckies, indeed.

 
 

Caput tuum in ano est Victor Davius Gaius Valens Hostilianus Messius Quintus Hanson .

 
 

One would think that if real need explained increased usage, “Black Friday” would have been a bust. But perhaps the opposite occurred, and Thanksgiving holiday sales were good (as I can attest from witnessing a stampede at the Selma Wal-Mart). One then cannot quite believe that one in eight Americans did not go on the annual shopping spree.

Well, given that “Black Friday” business was off by 8%, while 12% of Americans (with the bulk of those being children) are on food stamps, one then cannot believe that VDH is capable of performing simple mathematical calculations.

I’m sure what happened is that VDH saw a lot of blackity-black people at Wal-Mart (this was in Selma, Alabama so what are the odds?) and just assumed that, since black = welfare and social services recipient, all of those people he saw shopping are the same people who are on food stamps.

What a fucking douche. Also.

 
 

Some people were shopping at WALMART on the Friday after Thanksgiving, therefore all people have enough money to eat without assistance.

 
 

OBVIOUSLY anyone who is receiving food stamps, unemployment, or any other type of government assistance is really just a lazy spendthrift getting fat off the taxpayer dime.

Some of us remember when unemployment benefits were not subject to income and payroll tax because the recipient was, uh, unemployed. But then Tom Delay gave his famous speech on the floor of the House, noting that the only possible way to reduce unemployment during the ’90 – ’92 recession was to tax unemployment benefits “so that being unemployed won’t be so attractive.”

As usual, conservativism searches for a moral argument to justify selfishness.

 
 

There seems to be a lot of food stamp concern trolling lately.

You know, the day after enjoying a hearty Thanksgiving dinner, some people just get all bonerized about the fact some folks get gubmint help to prevent them from going hungry.

It’s like reverse social consciense, instead of being reminded of how fortunate they are, they get insanely mad that the poor and less fortunate exist and don’t live the way others of us do.

 
 

Usquequaque. Fides. Curtus.™

From Wikipedia:

As of the census[2] of 2000, there were 20,512 people, 8,196 households, and 5,343 families residing in the city. The population density was 1,479.6 people per square mile (571.4/km²). There were 9,264 housing units at an average density of 668.3/sq mi (258.1/km²). The racial makeup of the city was 69.68% Black or African American, 28.77% White, 0.10% Native American, 0.56% Asian, 0.01% Pacific Islander, 0.22% from other races, and 0.66% from two or more races.

There were 8,196 households, out of which 30.3% had children under the age of 18 living with them; 34.2% were married couples living together, 27.2% had a female householder with no husband present, and 34.8% were non-families. 32.6% of all households were made up of individuals and 14.6% had someone living alone who was 65 years of age or older. The average household size was 2.44 and the average family size was 3.10.

In the city the population was spread out with 27.3% under the age of 18, 9.7% from 18 to 24, 24.9% from 25 to 44, 21.8% from 45 to 64, and 16.3% who were 65 years of age or older. The median age was 36 years. For every 100 females there were 78.2 males. For every 100 females age 18 and over, there were 72.0 males.

The median income for a household in the city was $21,261, and the median income for a family was $28,345. Males had a median income of $29,769 versus $18,129 for females. The per capita income for the city was $13,369. About 26.9% of families and 31.7% of the population were below the poverty line, including 41.8% of those under age 18 and 28.0% of those age 65 or over.

Is it possible, you unprincipled dick, that the two-thirds who could AFFORD presents were out shopping on the Friday after Thanksgiving, the busiest shopping day of the year????

 
 

the only possible way to reduce unemployment during the ‘90 – ‘92 recession was to tax unemployment benefits “so that being unemployed won’t be so attractive.”

The only way to reduce the number of people on food stamps is to eliminate food stamps. That will solve the deficit, too.

 
 

Some people were shopping at WALMART on the Friday after Thanksgiving, therefore all people have enough money to eat without assistance.

Also, some Americans are fat, therefore nobody in America goes hungry.

 
 

Interesting, isn’t it… that ever since the economy has done its swan dive, and the number of folks in need of assistance has skyrocketed, that we’re seeing more columns castigating the poor than ever before.

It’s not really about eliminating that assistance, mind you… rather, it’s to convince as many Americans as possible that those who accept it are parasites, and worthy of scorn, if not outright hatred.

These fuckers would snatch away Tiny Tim’s crutch to kindle their Yule logs.

 
 

Also, some Americans are fat, therefore nobody in America goes hungry.

A modest proposal, indeed.

 
a tiresome pedant
 

The author of the _Meditations_ didn’t say whose ass Hanson’s caput was up. Will infer a reflexive cranio-anal insertion. But you never know.

 
 

Poor people? Whatever.

 
 

It snowed somewhere in Colorado, so there’s no such thing as global warming.

The GOP’s aggressive anti-empathy is one of those things that makes me wish karma existed. Victor Smallus Dickus Hanson is certainly deserving of a couple of decades living under that bridge south of town.

 
 

I don’t doubt that karma exists. I just wish it worked faster…

 
 

Actually, Jonah Goldberg pretty much proved that global warming doesn’t exist. You see, there weren’t any WMDs in Iraq even though literally every single person in the entire world thought there were. Therefore, scientists are wrong. Also, DanRathergate!

I swear, as soon as I find out where they sell the wingnut version of the word jumble magnet board, I’m going make some money.

 
 

While I’m not sure how many times VDH actually takes a dump, he does so typographically speaking at an alarming rate.

 
 

You see, there weren’t any WMDs in Iraq even though literally every single person in the entire world thought there were.

Wasn’t Jonah one of those people?

As in, “I was completely wrong about A therefore I must be completely right about B.”

Is that it?

 
 

Shorter VDH:

“Are there no coliseums? No lions?”

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

These fuckers would snatch away Tiny Tim’s crutch to kindle their Yule logs.

VPR

 
 

Ad hoc, ad loc and quid pro quo. So little time — so much to know!

Also, I hate poor people. Also.

 
 

And completely OT (ha!): Goldman Sachs execs are arming themselves in fear of a populist backlash. Really.

http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601039&sid=ahD2WoDAL9h0

 
 

Well, just don’t get between rural white Southerners and their food stamps, and make sure and listen to them tell you how much they hate SOCIALISM.

 
For The Goddamn Batman, Every Friday Is Black Friday, Meaning That He Dresses In Black And It's Dark Out Because He Only Goes Out At Night, See
 

Just now, I had this brief fantasy of Venerealus Diseasus Hansonitis forced into one of those Trading Places-type scenarios, where he has to live the life of one of the food-stamp-using, remittance-sending-to-Mexico people that he assumes are so well off, so that he could learn an important lesson or two about empathy. Then I thought, no, why not just send him to the world of The Road for good? There’s some mighty good eatin’ on an NRO pundit, I heard tell.

 
 

“The GOP’s aggressive anti-empathy is one of those things that makes me wish karma existed”

True story: At my monthly poker game Saturday before last, the resident wingtard was pontificating on the Fort Hood slayings, citing the usual suspects, you know, political correctness, the ACLU, etc. and then, the fact that Hassan was a psychiatrist came up. This wingtard, a retired Lt. Col., USAF stated “this major was hearing all this whining about PTSD bullshit, although I never heard of that bullshit when I was in Vietnam….”

A perfect encapsulation of wingtard thought: If I didn’t experience it, it doesn’t exist. He, of course, did his killing from 30,000 feet.

 
 

Anyone who is receiving food stamps (or government assistance of any kind) has no business buying presents for anyone. They must also not spend money on things like doing laundry, getting haircuts, going to movies, using cell phones, reading blogs or eating anything but gruel, dammit!

We do, however expect them to spend! spend! spend! to help rescue the economy.

 
 

Jonah says stigmatize or the state wins.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

So, maybe I’m the dumb one here, but I thought part of the point of food aid was to free up a little bit of money in the household to pay bills and buy clothes and maybe even a few little extras, especially for children who actually, you know, *need* toys to learn and develop properly.

I guess poor people are supposed to feel lucky if their kids have burlap sacks to wear to school and rocks to play with. I’m sure these douchebags would fucking blow a gasket if they knew that a lot of people receiving food stamps also have a “cash” side of their EBT cards that can be used to buy pretty much anything they want.

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

Jonah says stigmatize or the state wins.

Now I kind of feel bad for buying a poor Angel Tree kid a bike. Poor little fucker might never understand how worthless she is.

 
 

our economy is consumer driven. without scores of people constantly buying stuff, it stagnates and declines. therefore, the best response to a recession or depression has to be: layoff thousands of people, outsource any remaining open positions and casitgate those who receive any government assistence after losing their employment. particularly if they dare to buy christmas presents.

i will never understand these people.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

We do, however expect them to spend! spend! spend! to help rescue the economy.

Every tax dollar spent on food stamps injects almost $2 into our economy. 1/8s of the American people is a pretty large chunk of the economy, even if they are poor.

Also, don’t these stupid fucks realize that hungry people are desperate people? Unless you’re super-rich, you can’t protect yourself from the teeming, pissed-off masses. Goldberg and his ilk’s asses will be the first against the wall if the revolution comes.

 
 

didja ask him why he’s too cowardly to sign back up to kill more? After all, our center-right preznit needs 40k more people to be sent to Afghanistan for no fucking reason.

Time to vote communist I guess.

 
 

Shorter VDH:

“Are there no coliseums? No lions?”

Alternate VDH shorter:

Less panem, more circenses please.

 
 

Considering this is Victor Davis Hanson, shouldn’t this post have been in Pig Latin?

 
 

Goldberg and his ilk’s asses will be the first against the wall if the revolution comes.

That better be one sturdy wall.

 
Shorter Conservative
 

Assistance to parasits puts our economy in a jam because also big companies need that help to capitalize and junk. Every dollar to poor brown people is a job lost for a real amerian! Also aleins.

 
 

Goldberg and his ilk’s asses will be the first against the wall if the revolution comes.

They know it

 
 

a tiresome pendant: In Latin, if a possessive adjective is left out, infer the subject of the sentence as the possessor.

 
 

You know, the day after enjoying a hearty Thanksgiving dinner, some people just get all bonerized about the fact some folks get gubmint help to prevent them from going hungry.

Plus there’s that whole WAR ON CHRISTMAS thing – it’s time for them to rant about turning to the churches as the solution for the poor, instead of the government, ’cause baby Jesus would prefer it that way. Plus shut up, that’s why.

Need I speculate on how many meals any given wingnuty has ever missed in their lives? I thought not.

 
Johnny Coelacanth
 

Off topic, but have you guys seen this @ Little Green Footballs?

“Why I Parted Ways With The Right”
1. Support for fascists, both in America (see: Pat Buchanan, Robert Stacy McCain, etc.) and in Europe (see: Vlaams Belang, BNP, SIOE, Pat Buchanan, etc.)

2. Support for bigotry, hatred, and white supremacism (see: Pat Buchanan, Ann Coulter, Robert Stacy McCain, Lew Rockwell, etc.)

3. Support for throwing women back into the Dark Ages, and general religious fanaticism (see: Operation Rescue, anti-abortion groups, James Dobson, Pat Robertson, Tony Perkins, the entire religious right, etc.)

4. Support for anti-science bad craziness (see: creationism, climate change denialism, Sarah Palin, Michele Bachmann, James Inhofe, etc.)

5. Support for homophobic bigotry (see: Sarah Palin, Dobson, the entire religious right, etc.)

6. Support for anti-government lunacy (see: tea parties, militias, Fox News, Glenn Beck, etc.)

7. Support for conspiracy theories and hate speech (see: Alex Jones, Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck, Birthers, creationists, climate deniers, etc.)

8. A right-wing blogosphere that is almost universally dominated by raging hate speech (see: Hot Air, Free Republic, Ace of Spades, etc.)

9. Anti-Islamic bigotry that goes far beyond simply criticizing radical Islam, into support for fascism, violence, and genocide (see: Pamela Geller, Robert Spencer, etc.)

10. Hatred for President Obama that goes far beyond simply criticizing his policies, into racism, hate speech, and bizarre conspiracy theories (see: witch doctor pictures, tea parties, Birthers, Michelle Malkin, Fox News, World Net Daily, Newsmax, and every other right wing source)

And much, much more. The American right wing has gone off the rails, into the bushes, and off the cliff.

I won’t be going over the cliff with them.

There’s no name on this, but I’m assuming this is our pal Chuckie Johnson hisself, in which case, uh, wow?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

There’s no name on this, but I’m assuming this is our pal Chuckie Johnson hisself, in which case, uh, wow?

Yeah, I’ve wondered about him for a while. Dave Weigel posted about it today.

 
A Second Non-Lester The Giant Ape
 

I like the conflation of illegal immigration and food stamp use — the background impression I get is that the author thinks food stamp users are almost non-citizens.

It’s also a treat to see that he thinks dollars should be spent inside the US no matter what — not sent to families abroad. Of course! After all, dollars aren’t sent overseas for any other purpose. Why, these illegals could insure their whole families with that money! Except they’re sending the money to their families, which are not located in the US.
Fail! Fail! Fail!
Also.

 
 

Because wingnuts aren’t being actually accosted by Dickensian waifs asking for more gruel, or because hard bitten farmers aren’t leaving the Dust Bowl in old Packards piled high with mattresses and old furniture, poverty is not a problem. Anyone who thinks they’re poor is just faking it or lying, because, well, they’re not Dickensian waifs or grim-faced hoboes.

Because racists aren’t actually firehosing black people and shouting “Segregation forever!” through bullhorns, or (usually) not burning crosses on black people’s lawns, racism is not a problem. Anyone who thinks racial discrimination exists is just faking it or lying, because, well, Bull Connor isn’t attacking them with police dogs.

Because the air isn’t actually visibly choked with smog (here) and cartoonish factories aren’t pumping out thick black clouds of pollution and huge pipes marked TOXIC WASTE aren’t dumping glowing green goo into rivers, there is no environmental problem whatsoever. Anyone who thinks the environment is in trouble is just lying it or faking, because all children everywhere are not toxic mutants.

it’s all driven by imagery from old movies and books. There is absolutely no ability to see something that doesn’t precisely conform to the images in old movies and books, and therefore those problems do not exist.

 
Not Lester The Giant Ape Or Any Relation To Same
 

1/8 of all Americans is one arm each, or a leg up to the knee. THINK ABOUT IT, LIBS. If your left hand offend thee, cut it off. If your left hand is on food subsidies, particularly.

WHO’S LAUGHING NOW??

 
A Second Non-Lester The Giant Ape
 

Let them eat WOLVERINES!~!!

 
former welfare recipient
 

Corrections in order:

First off, the stigma to foodstamps only was reduced by the introduction of the now widely used EBT card, which allows a recipient to “slide the card” for their purchases. So they blend in, disabling the usual shame parade that recipients must suffer in line at the grocery store.

But of course, poor people aren’t entitled to privacy and the likes of Mr. Hanson should be allowed to inspect the bags of every assistance recipient at anytime, anywhere. Just to make sure there are no crack pipes, dime bags or condoms. (You know what birth control means).

Also, I never had to shop for holiday fixens as usually my door was beaten down by those who wished to use turkeys, boxed stuffing and canned goods to atone for their and their children’s otherwise judgmental, cruel and callous treatment of me and my children. Turkey atonement.

I didn’t go shopping during the two years I collected “benefits”. Salvation Army and other agencies donated presents for my kids.

Only when that SOB and his idiot colleagues have to endure the hell of social shaming combined with watching your children go hungry, or without heat, or without shoes or winter coats, much less the “right kinds”, then he’ll have a clue. Otherwise, he’s doing exactly what my wealthy family does when they have to face me during the holidays these last couple years: respond to their deep sense of guilt by wishing the source thereof would just go away right now instead of contemplating the larger social issues of cause.

 
 

I clicked on the LGF link and was able to go directly to the site. Charles Johnson no longer thinks we are a idiots so his transformation appears to be genuine.

 
 

Steerpike said,

December 1, 2009 at 18:16

FYWP
http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601039&sid=ahD2WoDAL9h0

#

Looch said,

December 1, 2009 at 17:23

And completely OT (ha!): Goldman Sachs execs are arming themselves in fear of a populist backlash. Really.

http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601039&sid=ahD2WoDAL9h0

I AHEM you.

 
 

First off, the stigma to foodstamps only was reduced by the introduction of the now widely used EBT card, which allows a recipient to “slide the card” for their purchases. So they blend in, disabling the usual shame parade that recipients must suffer in line at the grocery store.

I’m sure that toasts VDH’s cookies right there.

I still remember being on food stamps and the fun of standing in line, waiting for the cashier to get change – because you could only get $0.99 back in actual cash, so you had to get the rest in food stamps, and the cashiers never had them in their drawer so someone had to trek all the way to the cash office and back, holding up the line the entire time while you knew the people in line behind you were looking over your purchases and sniffing to themselves about what you had bought with THEIR TAX MONEY.

 
 

There’s no name on this, but I’m assuming this is our pal Chuckie Johnson hisself, in which case, uh, wow?

Wow indeed. I thought Johnson was going to get flamed to death, but the first few dozen comments (out of 1,300+) seem to be mostly positive. Maybe these people are being carried away by an attack of common sense?

 
 

I still remember being on food stamps and the fun of standing in line, waiting for the cashier to get change – because you could only get $0.99 back in actual cash…

That’s not what Ronald Reagan said. He used to tell the story of a guy who bought an orange with food stamps, got his change, and paid for a bottle of vodka with it.

You don’t think St. Ronnie was lying, do you?

 
 

“When I give food to the poor, they call me a saint. When I ask why the poor have no food, they call me a communist”
–Helder Camera

“When I ask why the poor demand to be treated as if they were human, they call me a Republican”

 
 

Off topic, but have you guys seen this @ Little Green Footballs?

When he owns up to his own part in fostering this kind of dialogue and hate-mongering, then I’ll believe him.

 
 

There’s no name on this, but I’m assuming this is our pal Chuckie Johnson hisself, in which case, uh, wow?

Hackshually, not so surprising. CJ has been off the reservation for a while, his routine beating up on creationists and thumpers and racists eventually got him expelled from the wingnut tribe.

I was rather less impressed with his list of reasons, not because they aren’t good reasons, but because they only crystallized to him in 2008 or 2009. Not one of those reasons weren’t applicable 10, even 20 years ago, it’s only now in the Intertubz SchlocksNooze era that the GOP finds it impossible to keep the crazies out of sight. But this stuff ain’t new, and it shouldn’t have taken a vaguely intelligent person till the end of the Shrub era to figure it out.

 
 

Considering this is Victor Davis Hanson, shouldn’t this post have been in Pig Latin?

I think Ass Latin would be a more appropriate dialect. Maybe Jackass Latin. Or Dumbass Latin.

 
 

But this stuff ain’t new, and it shouldn’t have taken a vaguely intelligent person till the end of the Shrub era to figure it out.

It took the Internet to tear the fabric off the GOP’s “big tent” and reveal that it was little more than a KKK revival inside.

Which, in case anyone was wondering, is all I think the GOP is, or ever was. A bunch of fucking racist assholes who want to still pretend that they’re respectable gentlemen.

Respectable gentlemen do not hide their ideas from the public because they think they know better. They hide things from the public because they know they’re not going to be popular.

 
 

That’s not what Ronald Reagan said. He used to tell the story of a guy who bought an orange with food stamps, got his change, and paid for a bottle of vodka with it.

You don’t think St. Ronnie was lying, do you?

Yes. Constantly. In fact, I am pretty sure every word out of that fucker’s mouth was a fucking lie.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

…you knew the people in line behind you were looking over your purchases and sniffing to themselves about what you had bought with THEIR TAX MONEY.

When I worked as a grocery store cashier in high school, WIC still had vouchers that could be ridiculously complicated, especially if the customer had more than one. (They may still have the same ones now–I’m not sure) Customers were always pissed at me and/or the WIC recipients for holding them up, and I can remember several comments from older people who were probably a) retired and didn’t have anywhere to go, and b) on Social Security and Medicare. But women who needed that $15 a month for peanut butter and formula were obviously the rude and selfish ones.

 
 

I bet they all have granite countertops, too. Or at least counters. Or kitchens. Or houses. Or shelter of some kind.

Parasites.

 
 

Medved wants us to have a sad for the poor downtrodden capitalists.

http://www.cnbc.com/id/33910912/

 
 

In fact, I am pretty sure every word out of that fucker’s mouth was a fucking lie.

Including “and”, “it” and “the”.

 
 

He used to tell the story of a guy who bought an orange with food stamps, got his change, and paid for a bottle of vodka with it.

You don’t think St. Ronnie was lying, do you?

Oh, lord no, of course not!

OBVIOUSLY what Reagan suggested was TEH TRUTH, while my personal experience with my own personal self was just a delusion caused by eating Vienna sausages that had gone beyond their sell-by date.

Why, to even suggest that a President (or even a Preznit, for that matter) would ever ever LIE about something in the interest of his ideological bias, as opposed to (say) a quick sleeve-job, would be remiss of me.

 
 

Yeah, I remember having to fill out WIC vouchers, and having to make sure that the things they bought exactly matched the allowable product on the voucher, or else have management breathe down your neck about it, and then having to run them individually through the already-slow-ass check reader, and having to tally up the amounts to put on the vouchers by hand. It’s like they wanted to make it as difficult and time-consuming as possible.

 
 

It’s like they wanted to make it as difficult and time-consuming as possible.

*gasp* *shock* *horror*

No! No, it couldn’t be true! No!

(y’think?)

 
 

But Reagan said this was morning in America!

 
 

Cnn says that President NotBush pronounces Afghan was will be over in 3 years.

Also we will be greeted as liberators, rose petals, sweet tea, etc, etc.

I saw this movie already. Wake me when we get to the part where the Democrat we voted for is sworn in.

 
 

You know something? Republicans are commuists. Just instead of equal results, they want everybody to receive equal treatment and be held to the same standards, regardless of any other circumstances. What else can you say when this sort of “Everyone whose economic situation doesn’t conform to mine is wrong and must be punished” logic? They’re bizarro-world communists, only they whine about the suffering of the rich instead of the poor.

 
 

It’s like they wanted to make it as difficult and time-consuming as possible.

They would require WIC and Food Stamp recipients to wear bright red smocks with the word “LOSER” printed on them when they shop, if they could. They would have to show every item in the cart to every shopper in the store and personally apologize for every item that is not strictly necessary for basic life support. Furthermore, if anyone objects to anything in the cart, the wretch would be placed in stocks at the front of the store, to be jeered at and pelted with rotten produce for the rest of the day.

 
 

When I went through a brief period of applying for General Assistance after my unemployment had run out, I noticed on the way to the building, someone had carved in the sidewalk, “BANK OF HELL” with an arrow pointing in the direction of the office. Wasn’t far off the mark.

Wingnuts love to comfort themselves with the fantasy that welfare is an easy, convenient, comfortable existence for the lazy. Anyone who ever had to actually endure the maddening bureaucratic process of applying knows what hard, frustrating work it actually is. Still, if you’re in that position, it’s better than nothing.

 
Roast Beefy Weefs
 

CNN just said that Obama is sending troops to Afhangistan. I thought that when he said he would do exactly that during his Presidential campaign it was secret code for “reefers for all”, didn’t you guys?

 
 

Of course Obama was always going to escalate in Afghanistan, and no, I certainly didn’t expect him to turn into a liberal, leftist, socialest commie gun-confiscating bible-hating acid-amnesty and abortion tree-hugging freakazoid (like me) once he won the election. I for one have always been very aware of the moderate we elected, and realistic about what he would be capable (and inclined) to accomplish.

As I have always said: we didn’t get a choice between Obama and Perfect; we got a choice between Obama and McCain/Palin, and I don’t expect to ever regret making the choice I did. McCain would not only have escalated Afghanistan, he would have started a third war against Iran by now, and would have rammed through another tax cut for millionaires at the same time.

 
 

Just instead of equal results, they want everybody to receive equal treatment and be held to the same standards, regardless of any other circumstances.

If they actually favored equal treatment I’d hate them less. No, they favor preferential treatment for the wealthy and powerful; corporate welfare dwarfs aid to the poor by several orders of magnitude, but special treatment and handouts are obviously acceptable as long as they go to people who don’t actually need them.

 
 

Well fuck, if obama promised during the campaign to send 35k more kids to the grinder in Afghanistan and he actually does it, that’s the first campaign promise he’s kept.

Odd that he said so much about not wasting blood and treasure, and instead wants to doubleplus surge for Afghanistan.

 
 

Well fuck, if obama promised during the campaign to send 35k more kids to the grinder in Afghanistan and he actually does it, that’s the first campaign promise he’s kept.

Actually, this is completely wrong.

 
 

Because? He promised to close Gitmo, overturn DADT, reverse bush policies of supersecrecy and hidden evidence, etc… those done yet?

Pretty much all he’s done is bail out big business and waffle on bush positions while promising to get out of iraq and letting it go quiet.

 
 

That’s nice. But when you say this:

that’s the first campaign promise he’s kept.

You’re incorrect.

 
 

Wingnuts love to comfort themselves with the fantasy that welfare is an easy, convenient, comfortable existence for the lazy. Anyone who ever had to actually endure the maddening bureaucratic process of applying knows what hard, frustrating work it actually is.

Which is why I chortle quietly to myself any time I hear some Libertarian-type whine about government.

You want to see REAL Stalinism, Bucky? Go apply for food stamps or TANF. And it’s all due to people like you pissing themselves that someone, somewhere MIGHT get something they don’t deserve.

Awhile back I heard Connecticut insituted a program for using fingerprints to catch welfare cheats. I forget the exact numbers, but for the expense and trouble of treating everyone like criminals, they caught a whole half-dozen or so people at a cost of hundreds of thousands of dollars each. Of course, that’s several times what they were costing in fraud to begin with, but HEY, at least ORDER AND LAW prevailed! Wheee.

 
 

I await you backing that claim up, Nation. Unless Obama promised to be a dull and unimaginative mediocre centre-right K Street suckup, sure, he did that.

 
 

Awhile back I heard Connecticut insituted a program for using fingerprints to catch welfare cheats. I forget the exact numbers, but for the expense and trouble of treating everyone like criminals, they caught a whole half-dozen or so people at a cost of hundreds of thousands of dollars each.

And the money the welfare cheats manage to get goes more efficiently into the local economy than bailouts to bankers do.

 
 

VDH, with handkerchief in sleeve, discourses: One would think that if real need explained increased usage [of the food stamp program], “Black Friday” would have been a bust.

It was. Perhaps one was not paying attention.

 
 

Usquequaque. Fides. Curtus.™
I think this translates as “Whisky is a short dog”.

Off topic, but have you guys seen this @ Little Green Footballs?
Surely you have been fooled by an Onion story — “Internet Blogger Changes Mind. Scientists baffled.”

 
 

I forget the exact numbers, but for the expense and trouble of treating everyone like criminals, they caught a whole half-dozen or so people at a cost of hundreds of thousands of dollars each. Of course, that’s several times what they were costing in fraud to begin with, but HEY, at least ORDER AND LAW prevailed! Wheee.

My understanding is that this is the case with every “anti-fraud” welfare crackdown ever. Cheaters get a hundred or two bucks a month, any vast new security rollouts and you’re well past the point of diminishing returns to stop a couple of them. And Jesus H, these people shrugged their fucking shoulders at PALLETS OF MONEY lost in Iraq; if you’re really interested in stopping abuse, stop the massive abuse that’s both more shameful and more expensive, not this penny-ante crap.

 
Roast Beefy Weefs
 

Obama promised to close Gitmo, repeal DADT and pass a health care bill, so why isn’t he forcing Congress to do those things? Respecting the separation of powers is not what I expected when I voted for a Constitutional scholar!

 
 

He promised to close Gitmo, overturn DADT, reverse bush policies of supersecrecy and hidden evidence, etc… those done yet?

It’s December 1, 2012 today? My, how the time flew!

 
 

if you’re really interested in stopping abuse, stop the massive abuse that’s both more shameful and more expensive, not this penny-ante crap.

For the wingnuts, it’s not the fact of losing/wasting/stealing the money so much as WHO is losing/wasting/stealing it. Always has been.

 
 

this is the case with every “anti-fraud” welfare crackdown ever

Hey, hey, hey. Here in New York State, we supposedly have massive amounts of Medicaid fraud. Please do not diminish our accomplishments in this area.

 
 

Dear Roast Beef,

While nobody believes Obama has been a perfect president or the liberalist liberal who ever liberaled, it’s stupidity to suggest he has no progressive accomplishments. Nathan Newman came up with a pretty good list. Go read it and feel better so you don’t feel the need to fart around in the comments of some blog and whine that he hasn’t emphasized all of your priorities or solved everything in 11 months on the job.

Thanks!

 
 

Off topic, but have you guys seen this @ Little Green Footballs?

Surely you have been fooled by an Onion story — “Internet Blogger Changes Mind; Scientists Baffled”.

 
 

Concern troll is concerned.

 
 

I await you backing that claim up, Nation. Unless Obama promised to be a dull and unimaginative mediocre centre-right K Street suckup, sure, he did that.

Behold. Here, too.

Additionally, Obama has been president for less than a year.

 
 

And the money the welfare cheats manage to get goes more efficiently into the local economy than bailouts to bankers do.

Hey, the bankers are buying $200k watches with their big government-backed bonuses, so, you know, some local economy is being helped. Geneva’s, maybe. And they’re going on expensive vacations. Abroad. I got nothing.

 
 

vdh is a contemptible human being. also.

 
 

The problem is he hasn’t done anything positive at all in 11 months, and he’s whinged on things he promised to do within the first 100 days. He kicked gitmo down the road and loaded GS with bonus money. He’s not the big change he promised, and the audacity of now means nothing now.

 
 

Hey, the bankers are buying $200k watches with their big government-backed bonuses, so, you know, some local economy is being helped. Geneva’s, maybe.

Some of us with investments in pawn shops on Wall Street take umbrage at your comment that money is being transferred to Switzerland!

 
 

Here in New York State, we supposedly have massive amounts of Medicaid fraud.

From the patients? I bet you a nickel most medicaid and medicare fraud is doctor and/or hospital-sourced.

 
 

The problem is he hasn’t done anything positive at all in 11 months

Oh bull-fucking-shit.

Go home. Jerk off to your Dennis Kucinich poster while you wear your unicorn pajamas, boy.

 
 

The problem is he hasn’t done anything positive at all in 11 months

You know what? You’re right. The goalposts do look much better over here, Mr. Obama Hasn’t Kept Any Promises.

I like how “the problem is” is the concern troll’s version of “the fact is.”

 
 

Apparently, the fact that foreclosures on homes has been all but squashed is meaningless to Mr Man-o-the-pippuls here.

 
 

I bet you a nickel most medicaid and medicare fraud is doctor and/or hospital-sourced.

Oh, I have no doubt that’s true. I don’t know enough about the systems to say where they are concentrating their anti-fraud efforts. Pro’ly they focus on the people, which nets them some of those nickels to which you referred.

Also, I suspect that “roast beef” will give way to some other-nymed trolls in the near future. Too.

 
 

Meaningless when I watched a young married couple foreclosed on not 2 weeks after their child was born, yeah. Rather be a man of the people, comrade, than an apologist for the guy who promised. “No lobbyists in my cabinet” only to lie about it.

 
 

Or the Cash-For-Clunkers program…yes, I see plenty o rich people driving around in hybrids now…uh huh, yes indeedy! That really benefitted the rich! Just like the first time home buyer tax credit of $8,000, or the housing upgrade credit of $6500.

Yup. Lots of rich people went out and purchased massive amounts of first and second homes on that dime.

 
 

Oh jeez, are we going to have a purity flame-war about whether Obama has disappointed all of us? Ferfuxake, 2 words: President. McCain. Allright? Need 2 more? President. Palin.

If you think either of those would have been somehow better, then by all means go ahead and regret your vote.

If you think Nader or McKinney would have been better, ask yourself: How many cabinet or judicial appointments would either one of them have had confirmed? If you are thinking of a number greater than zero, you’re dreaming.

If you’re thinking of promoting one of them, or some other up-and-coming third-party candidate for 2012, then be sure to let me know how your campaign to amend the constitution and eliminate the Electoral College is coming along, because I sure haven’t heard about it, and there is no way in hell you’re going to get a third-party candidate into the Oval Office any other way. Period.

 
 

Meaningless when I watched a young married couple foreclosed on not 2 weeks after their child was born

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiight, just like Ronnie Reagan “saw” a welfare queen driving around in a Cadillac while wearing a mink stole in July.

Uh huh. Peddle your shit to people who might swallow, boy.

 
 

Roast Beef writes: Well fuck, if obama promised during the campaign to send 35k more kids to the grinder in Afghanistan and he actually does it, that’s the first campaign promise he’s kept.

Obviously, for you thinking is work, but you might want to consider the nature of the forces he is committing, to which mission, and to what end. All of these differentiate his approach to the conflict from that of the madcap Dubya.

He will explain this to you tonight, but you will not be listening. You grow bored by all the confusing talk about complex issues, and so you will return to your computer, there to compose brilliant soliliquys like the one above.

In the end, well, we’ll just have to somehow manage to progress the world without your dragging knuckles, thank you very much.

 
 

Stu Pedasso

OK, YOU I have high hopes for.

 
 

You ever think if we hadn’t sucked up the “I am a progressive, hope, change” bullshit, we could have had President Clinton? Even she would have been better.

 
 

I await you backing that claim up, Nation. Unless Obama promised to be a dull and unimaginative mediocre centre-right K Street suckup, sure, he did that.

Read Nathan Newman’s list. And then think of where McCain/Palin would have taken us. There’s a big chasm between those two, and for now, I’ll take that happily. Perfect, Mr. Obama ain’t. But a screaming, school-bus-fulla-kids-over-the-cliff-railing- crash-and-burn it ain’t either. And that is a cause for (a little) hope. And it’s a big change.

Now back to Internet Science class for you.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

Wingnuts love to comfort themselves with the fantasy that welfare is an easy, convenient, comfortable existence for the lazy. Anyone who ever had to actually endure the maddening bureaucratic process of applying knows what hard, frustrating work it actually is.

My only experience is with the unemployment system, which was pretty much a fucking clusterfuck even 3-4 years ago–I can’t even imagine what it’s like now.

I remember some hateful little privileged prick who chastised my husband for drawing unemployment after he was laid off (the first time). Um, asshat, unemployment benefits are limited and YOU PAY INTO THE SYSTEM WHEN YOU WORK. Hence, unemployment INSURANCE, fuckface.

 
 

And Jesus H, these people shrugged their fucking shoulders at PALLETS OF MONEY lost in Iraq; if you’re really interested in stopping abuse, stop the massive abuse that’s both more shameful and more expensive, not this penny-ante crap.

But, but, but. . .black people! Black people I can SEE, doing bad stuff and grinning at me in WalMart with their liquor and their ten illegitimate babies as they stroll triumphantly to the Mary Kay Pink Cadillac they bought with my tax money!

Seriously, it’s not any more complicated than that. Confirmation bias makes sure that these fuckwits only see what they want to see, all the time, and then use it to prove something that reinforces their pre-existing prejudices. Cue Pangloss: God made noses to hold up eyeglasses, which you can tell because we have eyeglasses.

 
 

Any Chief Executive who willfully and knowingly allows a foreign invasion of our nation should be immediately impeached and put on trial for treason.

So long as we send the Irish back to Ireland and the Italians back to Italy…in fact, the bunch of you who cannot trace your roots to the Mayflower….GET OFF MY (3,300 mile long) LAWN!

 
 

Usquequaque. Fides. Curtus.™

Am I right in translating this as “whiskey is a short dog”?

 
 

Troofy-in-advertising’s new name fits him well.

 
 

You ever think if we hadn’t sucked up the “I am a progressive, hope, change” bullshit, we could have had President Clinton? Even she would have been better.

Oh brother.

You seem to have lost your way. Turn around, hang a right here, and keep going until you’re well off that cliff. Good luck!

 
Marion in Savannah
 

Thanks, actor212, for letting me stay! (Really… I can…)

 
Marion in Savannah
 

Of course, a friend of mine who lives on the rez might take issue with my staying…

 
 

Oh, I have no doubt that’s true. I don’t know enough about the systems to say where they are concentrating their anti-fraud efforts. Pro’ly they focus on the people, which nets them some of those nickels to which you referred.

I await the article in which stigma is advised for hospital fraudsters, but no, people should be publicly shamed for buying cheap shit at Walmart while Rick Scott is taken seriously on health care reform.

 
 

Oh come on. StuPed ass-o? Really?

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

“knarley”

Is it just me, or does it seem that nobody knows how to spell “gnarly” correctly these days?

 
 

I bet the Cool Coach can spell “gnarly.”

 
 

i must say , lm not shocked at the disdain for posters who feel obama hasn’t.lived up to his promises, but I am sad to see anyone who says we need to do much more instead of sit accepting half-measures labeled as “troofie’. Kinda funny, kinda sad.

Never think we can do more? Better? Why sit and accept the DLC pablum?

 
 

I agree, impenetrable southern borders keep us safe at night.

 
 

Coach Urban Meyer is a troll with style.

 
 

Jonah says stigmatize or the state wins.

Jonah also sez:

Charles Murray had a really excellent post on the value of such stigma the other day.

Charles. Fucking. Murray.

Has one human being failed more times than Jonah?

 
 

Mindless Side of Beef writes: i must say , lm not shocked at the disdain for posters who feel obama hasn’t.lived up to his promises,

The disdain is not about what you feel. It is about what you don’t know. Ignorance isn’t a crime, but crikey, don’t brag about it.

 
 

The Berlin Wall did a heck of a good job at keeping people out for forty years.

Why can’t we have more great leaders like Krushchev in America?

 
 

“Hasn’t lived up to his promises”?

“Half-measures”?

You’re coming along. Why, I remember when you thought he was ” a dull and unimaginative mediocre centre-right K Street suckup”.

I guess he’s gotten better

 
Ooh! Ooh! I smell Goober!
 

but I am sad to see anyone who says we need to do much more instead of sit accepting half-measures labeled as “troofie’.

You’ve actually gotten better at hiding yourself, Booger.

 
 

I was watching the Patriots get clobbered last night and saw thr IRL Urban Meyer in a commercial. I tried explaining the whole Cool Coach thing, but for some reason people who don’t read blogs or follow football don’t get it.

 
 

Stu Pedasso, I just called Moe’s bar asking for you.

 
 

Am I right in translating this as “whiskey is a short dog”?

I ran “Always. Trust. The. Shorter.™” thru a Latin translator.

 
 

Of course, a friend of mine who lives on the rez might take issue with my staying…

Look, we beat them in a fair fight. We stay.

 
Marion in Savannah
 

I call fake troll on Stu Pedasso. Stupid ass, oh, indeed…

 
 

but I am sad to see anyone who says we need to do much more instead of sit accepting half-measures labeled as “troofie’

Don’t get hung up on the details, kid. You’re a troll, he’s a troll … not much more complicated than that.

 
 

Not only conservatives, but self described liberals and moderates want our nation’s immigration laws ENFORCED!

I’m a self-described liberal.

I’d prefer more immigration, not less. This nation built its amazing economy and its incredible infrastructure on the backs of immigrants who came here seeking freedom and a better life.

Who the fuck gives YOU the right to say they’re not as good as your grandfather, sport?

 
 

Jonah sez lots of things, like today’s excellent article showing about how those e-mails PROOV that GLUBBLE WORMING IZ A LIBRAL CONSPIRACEE! For serious.

If there’s someone you want dead, convince them to play a “Everytime Goldberg says something stupid” drinking game. Alcohol poisoning, within the hour.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

“want our borders secured and the illegal aliens supported.”

I meant to say illegal aliens deported.

So is a fake troll still a troll? Would you consider this to be trolling on the square?

 
 

I call fake troll on Stu Pedasso.

Stu Pedasso never got called a Picasso.

 
Coach Urban Meyer
 

Tick tock, tick tock, loony libs! Ya hear that? I dare say, what’s that coming down the track? It’s a SPREAD of TRUTH comin’ back! You can see it everywhere, you silly socialists, from the Terrific Tea Parties to the Obumblin’ Obummer’s poll numbers going down, down, down! Ya better believe that 2010’s a big whopper of a loss for the Dumbocraps, and 2012 is Super Sarah, the Power Palin’s time, not to mention Boss Bobby and Helluva Huckleberry! Urban out.

 
 

Who, Stupid, not What.

Where is your moral clarity that says your grandfather, who probably committed all sorts of disgraceful criminalities to get here, is better than someone who crawls thru a fence?

 
 

CUM!

You taking the job at Notre Dame?

 
 

So long as we send the Irish back to Ireland and the Italians back to Italy…in fact, the bunch of you who cannot trace your roots to the Comanches or Cherokee or other Native American ….GET OFF MY (3,300 mile long) LAWN!

FYP.

Memo to roast beef: Obama has ALWAYS been a moderate. Hell, 40 years ago the guy would have been a Republican. And so things haven’t gone exactly how you wanted, and Obama hasn’t waved his magic wand and made everything just how you like it.

So what? That’s called “reality.”

Deal with it, bitch.

 
 

in fact, the bunch of you who cannot trace your roots to the Comanches or Cherokee or other Native American

We beat them in a fair fight, sir.

OK, we used biological weaponry but that’s their own fault for not developing it sooner.

And for being peace-loving and trusting. Also.

 
 

Helluva Huckleberry!

Awesome.

 
 

I call fake troll on Stu Pedasso. Stupid ass, oh, indeed…

I call real troll, in the classic sense of trying to bait people into getting all anti-Messican. Such a fucking tired and boring routine, and really the idea that you’d have a bitch about immigration in your local Dunkin Donuts, where probably you got served by an immigrant, is dick-stroking a la Bobo Brooks and his Applebee’s salad bar.

 
 

I am a regular customer at a local dunkin donuts coffee shop and all of the other customers I talk to blart blart blart …

It’s … David Brooks?!

I thought he was more of a “salad bar at Applebee’s” kind of guy.

 
 

…and send all the injuns back ta Africa!

Oh wait–

 
 

Dammit, Ted … just … dammit.

::needs a faster connection::

 
 

My great grandfather immigrated here legally at the turn of the twentieth century, through Ellis Island

Probably because his dad was thrown out of whatever good country got tired of your poor asses…

 
 

We see a shining city on a hill. Your mileage may differ. Change you can believe in, if you clap hard and can wait 6 to 8 years for delivery. I love the sound deadlines make as they whoosh past. Gitmo? Sure baby, but first let me get my Nobel Peace Prize for sending more kids to die in sand.

 
 

Last week Stu shared a taxi with Flea to the local Duncan Donuts where they engaged in some serious policy discussions.

Since they were still hungry, they picked up their mutual friend, Elvis Costello, and hightailed it to the ABSB where much hilarity ensued.

It was a fanstasic time from what I gather and the take home message was that immagants and colerds sux and rtakinourjobs.

 
 

what was the tax rate on the highest earners in the 19fiftees?

 
 

Stu is who they invented the phrase “Not even wrong” for.

 
 

Our crime rates were low and our culture, economy and national prestige were at it’s zenith.

and women weren’t cheap but apostrophes were . . .

 
 

Any Chief Executive who willfully and knowingly allows a foreign invasion of our nation should be immediately impeached and put on trial for treason.

Phew. Good thing there were no invasions or terrorist attacks (which various intelligence agencies warned about) during the last administration, as Dana Perino recently reminded us. Otherwise, George W. would be shaking in his pointy-toed boots right about now.

 
 

In the nineteen fifties America was 90% non hispanic White. Our crime rates were low and our culture, economy and national prestige were at it’s zenith.

You know what was also great about the 50s was where all the negros had to sit on the bus.

 
TROLL SINGULARITY
 
 
 

We see a shining city on a hill. Your mileage may differ. Change you can believe in, if you clap hard and can wait 6 to 8 years for delivery. I love the sound deadlines make as they whoosh past.

Don’t lick the frogs, man.

You do the math.

Cue the wah-wah horns, this one’s gotten boring fast. The name seemed to hold such promise, alas.

 
 

Horse’s Ass writes: Sure baby, but first let me get my Nobel Peace Prize for sending more kids to die in sand.

It’s telling that you read this so simply in terms of the harm to American soldiers, not in terms of the harm to the countries to which they are being dispatched. In trying to unring the bell rung by Dubya, you’re likely to encounter a lot of paradoxical questions, all of which will blissfully elude your poor stupid head. In a way, I envy you. So, so, so stupid, that nothing hurts, must be like an IV drip of morphine, or a steady diet of cough syrup and vodka. So which is it?

 
 

I miss Center Left Grrrl and The Fool. We need trolls with a better shtick.

 
 

deal with it bitch

And just vote real Progressive in the Democratic primary next time instead of liar. Gotcha, will do.do.

 
 

Now early in the twenty first century, our population is now only 66% non hispanic White

I’m sure you are aware that your figure is wrong, that the country is in fact 74% non-Hispanic white, according to the 2006 figures released by the Census Bureau.

Oh. And that you’re a racist fucking bigot who should die a slow and painful death.

 
 

In the nineteen fifties America was 90% non hispanic White. Our crime rates were low and our culture, economy and national prestige were at it’s zenith.

You know what was also great about the 50s was where all the negros had to sit on the bus.

And the famine in Appalachia. That was pretty cool too.

 
 

Coach Urban Meyer is a troll with style.

He’s pretty cool but who will join me in rating for Iris?

 
 

So…Obama is a wild-eyed Marxist Socialist who’s trying to make this country a Gulag and pull the plug on grandma, while simultaneously being a tired K Street retread who hasn’t done anything.

Ooooo-kay.

 
 

Beef writes: And just vote real Progressive in the Democratic primary next time instead of liar

And don’t forget to get in the car with any man who offers you a lollipop, honey.

 
 

Gotcha, will do.do.

Perfect summation.

 
 

“The real progressive in the Democratic Primary”?

Wait, I thought you were going all PUMA on us a little while ago. What was that…? Oh, yeah:

You ever think if we hadn’t sucked up the “I am a progressive, hope, change” bullshit, we could have had President Clinton? Even she would have been better.

But now you seem to be saying we should have gone with, what? Kucinich?

Why sit and accept the DLC pablum?

Who do you think established the DLC? (Hint: it wasn’t Obama. In fact, they hated Obama)

 
 

I call fake troll on Stu Pedasso.

I used that nym for one post about a week ago, as I recall. I’m glad someone’s taking up the torch. Just don’t get cocky, Pedasso.

 
 

I’m so old I remember when the kind of people who were Terribly Disappointed In Insufficiently Liberal Democrats didn’t have teh intarnetz to play with. They had to use magazines, like Counterpunch. So many kinds of stroke material are easier to find and share these days…

 
 

Why sit and accept the DLC pablum?
Pablum Picassum never got called a dirty bum.

 
 

This whole faux buyer’s remorse horseshit…and we know it’s horseshit because anybody who regrets voting for Obama only ten months into his term after eight years of Bush has to be psychotic….is interesting, but at the end of the day, clearly an attempt to stir shit up by some Republican plant.

 
 

Just accept what you’re given and never question. It’s wrong to push leaders to be more than status quotards.

Go go gadget triangulation!

 
 

Why sit and accept the DLC pablum?
Pablum Picassum never got called a dirty bum.

Well, there was that whole incident with the bad shellfish…oh, CALLED a dirty bum, not had one…sorry

 
 

It’s wrong to push leaders to be more than status quotards.

Alles klar, herr Kommissar?

 
 

FlipYrWhig writes: I’m so old I remember when the kind of people who were Terribly Disappointed In Insufficiently Liberal Democrats didn’t have teh intarnetz to play with. They had to use magazines, like Counterpunch.

Which they no doubt deluged with letters to the editor saying they had a duty to cease publishing owing to the senseless devastation of trees to make the paper they used.

Or was that the Sierra Club newsletter?

 
 

Der Kommisar verdun.

 
 

Go go gadget triangulation!

And yet, you think Hillary would have been better.

Hoh-hoh-hooohkay.

 
 

And yet, you think Hillary would have been better.

Of course this asshole doesn’t think Hillary would have been “better.” He’s just pissing himself with glee because Obama is having problems dealing with all the obstacles that the shitheads he really supports are putting up.

 
 

Was he sentient during the Clinton administration or Hillary’s Senate term. They were both slightly to the right of Obama.

 
 

Knarley!

The URL contained a malformed video ID.

What does Obama offer the malformed video IDs? A TAX CUT. Thanks Mr. Progressive!

 
 

It’s telling that you read this so simply in terms of the harm to American soldiers, not in terms of the harm to the countries to which they are being dispatched.

It’s the shill he throws to the wingnuts – “AH S’PORT TROOPS!” and all that.

Cue a chorus of “Love Me, I’m A Liberal”…

 
 

What does Obama offer the malformed video IDs? A TAX CUT. Thanks Mr. Progressive!

In SPARTA!, they would have thrown that malformed video ID off a cliff.

 
 

Watch the Zombie Reagan video from the Onion. Hilarious!

 
 

In SPARTA!, they would have thrown that malformed video ID off a cliff.

Except, of course, the one that tragically led the Persians to the goat path behind the Hot Gates.

Mmmmmmmmmmmm, Hot Gates….*drool*

 
 

Victor Davis Hanson is my favorite wingnut, mainly because I used to think he and his bandmates/brothers were girls.

 
 

What does Obama offer the malformed video IDs? A TAX CUT. Thanks Mr. Progressive!

Then opens the borders so all their malformed-IDed relatives can pour in and TAKE JOBS FROM OUR NATIVE VIDEOS.

 
 

Then opens the borders so all their malformed-IDed relatives can pour in and TAKE JOBS FROM OUR NATIVE VIDEOS.

I, like you, once believed in democracy, but that was before the “Great Society” produced a wave of illegitimate URLs, no doubt containing the hippity-hop. Wolverines!!

 
 

Then opens the borders so all their malformed-IDed relatives can pour in and TAKE JOBS FROM OUR NATIVE VIDEOS.

The chief of the Betamax tribe sits on his reservation and silently laughs at the irony.

 
Ann Coulter and Debbie Schlussel
 

Victor Davis Hanson is my favorite wingnut, mainly because I used to think he and his bandmates/brothers were girls.

We are, ASSHOLE!

 
 

The chief of the Betamax tribe sits on his reservation and silently laughs at the irony.

Then somebody throws a Can video in the road and a single tear traces a path down his creased face.

 
 

A machine is meant to be on! If not actived, then the machine are dead. How can anyone survive without machine? That’s not a question! Turn it back on! Simply as that!

 
 

Seems to me that anyone who claims the 50s were so wonderful is probably a bigoted, racist fucktwit. Either that, or someone who has no fucking clue about what actually happened in the 50s outside of what they saw on Leave it to Beaver re-runs.

Don’t agree? Well, let’s review the 1950s. It was a time when …

… those colored folks knew their place — in fact, they had their own right next to the white folks’ place …

… those colored folks who tried to change places were strung from trees …

… women knew their lot in life: being nothing more than uteruses (uterii?) who had dinner ready by 5 o’clock and were expected to be seen, not heard …

… a husband could legally rape and beat his wife …

… the top marginal rate was 91% (which, if proposed now, would be seen as the greatest Socialsticterroristcommuhippie plot of all time).

Oh, and in addition to the crime rate, you know what else was lower in the 1950s? The gap between rich and poor, which is now at its highest level in American history.

That, more than anything, explains the increased crime rate, since poor folks tend to get a tad desperate when they have no food or place to live, and no prospects for improving their lives thanks to continual cuts by Republicans in programs that help alleviate poverty.

Funny how that happens.

 
 

A machine is meant to be on! If not actived, then the machine are dead. How can anyone survive without machine?

How can ye have any puddin’ ef ye don’ eat yer meat?

 
 

The 50s were a fine time for America; it was the first time at which it was generally understood that institutional discrimination, imperialism, and rural poverty were on their way to extinction. We were an adventurous people, and principled.

Leave It To Beaver is what the Republican thinks the 50s were in America, which is rather like concluding that American values before the dawn of the Dirty Fucking Hippie could be summed up with The Beverly Hillbillies. It was an era of hope and progress; the idea of the 1950s as a high-water mark for polite social conservatism would have horrified close to everyone, because that was before we gave up on solving problems as a country and began treating our lynchings as an integral, beautiful part of who we were instead of resenting them with all the strength we could muster.

VDH, obviously, is nostalgic for Sparta; when what your nostalgia wallpapers over is not segregation but the ritualized genocide of slaves as an integral part of civilization, you’ve got bigger problems than sanity or not being a dick to everyone.

 
 

American values before the dawn of the Dirty Fucking Hippie could be summed up with The Beverly Hillbillies

Where a man was so hungry, he went out one day, a-shootin’ varmints, and wound up rustlin’ up some crude…oil, that is. Black gold. Texas tea.

 
 

How can ye have any puddin’ ef ye don’ eat yer meat?

Stand still, laddy!!

 
 

And close your HTML tags, laddy!!

 
 

I bet you a nickel most medicaid and medicare fraud is doctor and/or hospital-sourced
A large portion of fraud is in the durable medical equipment (oxygen, wheelchairs etc) world. Alot of gangs get into it because it is so profitable and low risk. They get docs to write bogus prescriptions and buy beneficiary info to submit claims against. Part of the problem is that there aren’t enough inspectors to do site visits and verify that these guys are legit.

 
 

You and your ethic… how many cancers have they cured? To kill a cancer you have to shoot it! It’s method can’t fail!

 
 

WTF?

Have I walked into a friggin’ Godzilla movie or something here?

Someone make sure ‘beef’s mouth is syncronized with his dialogue.

 
 

To kill a cancer you have to shoot it! It’s method can’t fail!

You SAY you want a revolution, well, you know, we’d all love to see the plans.

But if you go carrying pictures of Chairman Mao, you ain’t gonna make it with anyone anyhow…

 
 

I miss Center Left Grrrl and The Fool. We need trolls with a better shtick.

You guys keep saying that and then you keep lapping up the script-generated Twoofie-esque shit with a spoon like it’s sweet butterscotch pudding.

The early part of this thread was good, though, and the new script’s username is pretty funny.

 
 

You and your ethic… how many cancers have they cured? To kill a cancer you have to shoot it! It’s method can’t fail!

A person is a small price to pay when you fight with a cancer! You have to think like a star!!

DON’T SAY YOU DIDN’T KNOW THIS WAS COMING

I WILL CURE YOU, CANCER!

 
 

I’ve got something to say: I killed your baby today, and it doesn’t matter much to me, as long as it’s dead.

 
TruculentandUnreliable
 

But Jesus said: “Suffer the little children come unto me, and forbid them not, unless they can’t prove citizenship, the little brown bastards.”

 
 

Gocart – thanks for the Onion link. That my be my new fav beating out the one about reality shows giving skanks unreal expectations and the one about how to dress your effeminate son for Halloween.

 
 

A large portion of fraud is in the durable medical equipment

That doesn’t surprise me. In all cases it seems the right-wing pundit’s propensity is to stigmatize the little guy while ignoring that the majority of the costs are caused bigger, wealthier players.

 
 

As I said when the Frau Doktorin complained about my eyebrow looking like a woolly caterpillar — that’s a feature, not a bug.

 
 

A large portion of fraud is in the durable medical equipment

Really, with all the bullshit the Feds put you through to be able to bill DME to Medicare, it’s a wonder anyone bothers in the first place.

Our pharmacy recently got certified to do it. Out of all the stuff we carry, the only thing we can bill & still make anything resembling a profit on is a certain brand of insulin test strips that, of course, none of our patients are actually on. And the federal regs require us to take our garbage out every night. You can imagine how well this have gone over with Mr. Libertarian Pharmacist Bossman.

 
 

that’s a feature, not a bug.

I know, but goddammit it should be pointed out every damn time one of these assholes opines about how we should give the stink-eye to poor people on fucking food stamps.

 
The Tragically Flip
 

Leave It To Beaver is what the Republican thinks the 50s were in America, which is rather like concluding that American values before the dawn of the Dirty Fucking Hippie could be summed up with The Beverly Hillbillies. It was an era of hope and progress; the idea of the 1950s as a high-water mark for polite social conservatism would have horrified close to everyone, because that was before we gave up on solving problems as a country and began treating our lynchings as an integral, beautiful part of who we were instead of resenting them with all the strength we could muster.

Righteous.

 
 

Progressive Beef (or Roast Voice):

To repeat what was said to your previous incarnation: if you want to really change things, you have to start at the bottom. The President is not the King of America; even if you could get a True Progressive elected, s/he’d still have to deal with a tired K-Street Congress and a tired K-Street Supreme Court, and much of hir actions would be filtered down through a bunch of tired K-Street (or the local equivalent) local levels of government.

So sorry your prettiful dreams about Obama were shattered. It breaks my heart, it does. If I were you, I’d start volunteering for a local political party of your choosing—make some phone calls, put up signs, organize meetings, all that stuff. Gets some good folks elected to the school board and whatnot. Because if you can’t even get a guy on the school board, there is no way you’re getting him in the White House.

Not only will this actually attempt to fix some problems in this country, but it will give you something to do other than whine at people who are talking about other things. It’s win-win.

Okay, done troll-feeding.

 
 

Trolls always travel in pairs – there’s the fake liberal concern-troll and then there’s the racist xenophone.

So boring.

 
 

Heh. I still remember when a local (lefty) pol went on welfare (which is actually much more generous in Canada) for a month or so, after someone challenged him to give it a try … & then needed many months of psychiatric counselling to overcome the chronic depression he got as a free bonus. The local poors derived abundant lulz from this smorgasbord of irony, so at least it wasn’t a total loss.

LGF opening its cyberdoors to Sadlynauts? Hmm, maybe those Mayans were right after all. Time to Google good deals on distilled water & cans of beans, says I.

Ooh, a concern-troll baaawing about how non-progressive Obama is (having somehow completely missed the man’s perennial track-record of center-right positions on, well, DAMN NEAR EVERYTHING) – yet inexplicably pining over the lost chance for 4-8 years of an even less progressive Hillary “Obliterate Iran” Clinton in his place (because the GOP that had so actively despised the name “Clinton” for the previous decade – & had made that name synonymous with scandal, corruption & perversion in the “minds” of most Real Americans – would of course have sat back & given her a free ride) – aw heck, don’t worry, son, I hear that if you jump up & down hard enough, those balls can one day be coaxed into dropping.

Go for it!

When you finally get those peanuts down from their abdominal perch, feel free to come back & apologize for annoying people with your “All Power To Teh Glorious People’s Vanguard” bullshit & admitting you were full of it up to your eyebrows … oh, who am I kidding? You’ll be too busy fapping by then … just remember to change hands once in a while. RSIs are a bitch.

 
valkyr of science
 

… the top marginal rate was 91% (which, if proposed now, would be seen as the greatest Socialsticterroristcommuhippie plot of all time).

Similarly, in the ’50s, there was a ton of funding for scientific research. Not just in defense-related fields, but for pretty much everything. The idea (a pretty good one, actually) was that, since no one really knew what would turn out to be useful, they’d be intentionally scattershot with the funding, thereby making it more likely to get something useful out of it, than if they had focused on just a few projects. The NSF was founded in 1950.

Also, interstate highways. Try even getting enough funding to maintain them now, much less make new ones (or even -gasp!- a rail network) without setting the wingnuts a-whining.

Seems to me, the people who get all nostalgic over the 1950s are reminiscing over everything except the good parts, which they have decided didn’t really happen.

 
Paul "Porky" Pedasso, the Meaty National Guardsman
 

Fellow liberals, I’m concerned that Obama isn’t demonstrating pure leftist bona fides by kicking all the dirty beaners out of this horrible country.

 
 

that’s a feature, not a bug.

I c what u did there.

For the record, I’ve been caucusing for Kucinich in primaries for as long as he’s been an option, and nobody has ever told me to grow up. Because it’s a primary. Make your stand there on principles, nobody will think less of you for it. But once your choice is our less-than-perfect and their bring-the-apocalypse, I get a lot less principled and vote on the side of fewer people dying.

 
 

Who says there was less crime in the 50’s? Murder and other violent crimes are in a historical downtrend. Crime went up in the 50’s and 60’s proportionate to the increase in juvenile males 15 and older in the population. Crime has been going down since the peak of the crack epidemic in 1990, but trended up slightly in the last couple of years. Some interesting data suggests that crime rates decoupled from the proportion of juvenile males fifteen years after the use of birth control by women became widespread.

A lot of people wonder why there’s so much domestic crime now but they’ve forgotten that domestic murders, as well as violence at schools, was hushed up in the 50’s. It never made the papers. Oh yeah, high school kids used to stab each other in the 1950’s. You know, BEFORE segregation. When little boys and girls were raped it was hushed up too. Now there’s a hue and cry.

 
Myles na Gopaleen
 

>>>And the famine in Appalachia. That was pretty cool too

EH? Did I miss I meeting?

Do you ‘famine’ as a synonym for ‘extreme poverty’, or was there actual famine in Appalachia?

Or is my irony-detector acting up again?

 
 

Did I miss I meeting? Do you ‘famine’ as a synonym for ‘extreme poverty’

Please don’t use that nym and write like this.

 
 

Who says there was less crime in the 50’s? Murder and other violent crimes are in a historical downtrend.

Ah, but you see, crimes committed by dusky blackamoors and shiftless Latin desperados is soaring, especially those heinous acts like “not knowing their place” and “stealing low-paying, hazardous unskilled labor opportunities”. Therefore, quod erat demonstradum, quid pro quo, bastardum non carborundum, ibid.

 
 

I, for one, think the Berlin Wall did a fantastic job of keeping the Western Europeans from escaping into the DDR. Also, hippies.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Awhile back I heard Connecticut insituted a program for using fingerprints to catch welfare cheats. I forget the exact numbers, but for the expense and trouble of treating everyone like criminals, they caught a whole half-dozen or so people at a cost of hundreds of thousands of dollars each.

I’d love to know who got the contract to fingerprint welfare recipients, and to monitor their financial transactions.

And the money the welfare cheats manage to get goes more efficiently into the local economy than bailouts to bankers do.

But it doesn’t go the right people, unlike the money to the politically-connected businessman who gets the no-bid, cost-plus fingerprinting contract.

 
 

Really, with all the bullshit the Feds put you through to be able to bill DME to Medicare, it’s a wonder anyone bothers in the first place.

60 Minutes did a story on it

 
valkyr of science
 

Also:

Ad hoc, ad loc and quid pro quo. So little time — so much to know!

Totally not said by any Blue Meanie.

And such as.

 
the real roast beef
 

man why you even got to do a thing. do you think it is rad to have borderline personality disorder.

 
 

punctuation is for punks. capitalization is a capitalist plot.

 
 

Oh yeah, high school kids used to stab each other in the 1950’s.

My father grew up in a dirty Pennsylvania steel town in the 1950s. He actually remembers somebody being shot in his high school.

It wasn’t all Ozzie & Harriett back then.

 
 

Roast Beef is 100% right, Obama has just endorsed the Bush position on foreign policy withe the Double-Plus Surge.

Unlike Senator John McCain, who has consistently spoken against the war in Afghanistan.

 
 

Compared to the traveling freak-show that would have been a McCain/Palin administration, I’ll take Hope and Change any day.

 
 

It wasn’t all Ozzie & Harriett back then.

Two words,

Last. Exit. To. Brooklyn.

The book, not the movie.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

It wasn’t all Ozzie & Harriett back then.

Two words,

Last. Exit. To. Brooklyn.

Well, see, there’s your problem right there… fucko’s comment was about America.

 
 

Address my link, insufficient libs!

 
 

He is in the clutches of the military-industrial complex

Like every other President since Lincoln?

 
Progressive Gary Beeftruth
 

The fact is, I’m just one guy, and I’m starting to confuse myself and use multiple troll watermarks in a single post. Bookmark it, silly socialists, because we will take back USA for FREEDOM and***ERROR***hehindeedhehindeedhehindeedhehindeedhehindeedhehindeedhehindeedreadthewholething

 
Whale Chowder (nee OneMan)
 

Why should it come as a surprise that many of the conditions and measures for continuation of the surge are the same as in Iraq? After all, the authors, Petraeus and McChrystal, are the same as those who set up the Iraq surge.

Purity trolls, particularly phony ones, are boring.

Glenn Greenwald playing the purity card is just sad.

 
 

Can anyone be made at Obama?

 
 

We want SO badly for every leftist in the country to think like Beefgressive. (Not that he actually is one.)

 
 

But what Jimmy was really excited about was that this was the day Obama was getting made at.

 
St. Kid from Kounty Meath
 

…and that’s why everyone in the World Trade Center and Flight 93 deserved to die. I understand your schtick is pretending to be a better librul than anyone else, but could you maybe mask your sociopathic right-wing bloodlust a little better?

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Purity trolls, particularly phony ones, are boring.

Yeah, does anyone to the left of Steve Doocy really use the term leftist?

I think it’s the former Paul Mantarakis, who was forced to abandon that nym because it was nuked from orbit, and rendered uninhabitable for millennia.

 
Progressive Voice
 

Yayyyy! Dis r my live-blog! My own farts smell yummy!

 
 

I believe our own leaders would have called the attack against the Pentagon “shock-and-awe”, or taking out “command and control centers”, no?

THANK you! Finally, someone who understands where I’m coming from!

 
Progressive Voice
 

The World Trade Center was murder of civilians, so my argument will completely disregard it. I am very much has a big smart.

 
 

I believe our own leaders would have called the attack against the Pentagon “shock-and-awe”, or taking out “command and control centers”, no?

THANK you! Finally, someone who understands where I’m coming from!

Also, FYWP.

 
Spengler Dampniche
 

Off topic:

http://themedandvariations.blogspot.com/2009/12/glenn-beck-rebel.html

Also, Hitler. End of thread. Godwin’s Law.

 
 

Jesus, liveblog your boring idiotic drivel at your own place.

Any bets on how many dildos will be found up “progressive”‘s corpse’s ass?

 
St. Kid from Kounty Meath
 

Jerking off to yourself in the mirror doesn’t make you bisexual.

 
Spengler Dampniche
 

I like Progressive [noun]. Vague Marxist anti-imperialistic dogma followed by a hearty chorus of the Internationale followed by making farting noises with the right hand tucked into the left armpit.

We’ve somehow gotten a left-wing troll!

 
 

Ban this fucking sock-sniffer, please?

 
Spengler Dampniche
 

I can see Progressive Voice from where I’m standing. He’s actually a secret right-winger, and none too pretty.

 
 

Trying to hijack the thread for your little fucking live-blog because you can’t get it up otherwise constitutes spam, fuckhead.

 
Whale Chowder (nee OneMan)
 

Yeah…Frogressive Noice: have you noticed that no matter how much chum you dump in the water, nobody is rising to the bait?

Time to switch to the Megabass Cyclone MR-X CrankBait.

(heh-heh-heh, he said ‘crank’)

 
 

“Afghanistan is not Vietnam”

ROFL!

I fail to see what’s so funny. Have you looked at a map lately? They’re totally two separate countries, with a whole lot of Asia between them.

 
 

Do only gay dudes use dildos? Not from what I’ve heard, nutcakes.

 
Things People Who Should Be Taken Seriously Do Not Say
 

“ROFL”

 
Spengler Dampniche
 

Is anybody else torn between love and hate of the trolls? On the one hand, it’s great good fun to watch the crack sadlynaught squadron of putti whiz down upon them a thousand golden asparagus-scented streams of purest ridicule; on the other hand, they’re so fucking dull.

 
 

Look at meeeee! Look at meeee! You’re all a bunch of wimpy, not-pure hypocrites because you don’t agree with me me me me meeeee! This is my blog, you poopy heads! Aggress my host, liiiiiiibs!

 
Progressive Voice
 

[Kanye West voice] No I’m not! I’m a genius!

 
 

on the other hand, they’re so fucking dull.

Yeah, this one just warranted the extra step of being added to the RSS filter. My eyes feel springtime fresh.

 
Progressive Voice
 

EVERYONE gives a flying fuck about my fictional sex life!

 
St. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

My eyes feel springtime fresh.

Remember how bad troofie lost it when whatever genius it was first invented the Logorrhea Advisory filter? That was great, and we’re about to see it again.

 
 

Remember how bad troofie lost it when whatever genius it was first invented the Logorrhea Advisory filter?

That is one problem with blocking it: when the shitmoat catches fire, I’ll only get to see the replays.

 
Progressive Voice
 

I do this on Oscar Night too, if anyone’s interested. “Precious” gets it ALL, libs. Bookmark it.

 
The Purest Leftist on the Internet, Socialist Clarion Deluxe
 

“The last president”? You fucking fascist pig. The last president was Carter, and ever since we’ve actually been living in the Untied States of Amerikkka. Look it up, Nazi.

 
Whale Chowder (nee OneMan)
 

The only thing keeping me from putting Pathetic Voce into the Badger Bin is the wonderful group (?) of nymstealers who are ten times as amusing as the original.

 
 

Maybe somebody let me know when we start working up the alphabet toward LLLLLLL? Wild hand-waving and “Flight of the Bumblebees” played entirely by tubas?

 
The Purest Leftist on the Internet, Socialist Clarion Deluxe
 

Oh my goodness, the one-party fascist capitalicrat pigdogs have desecrated the writings of the second-purest leftist on the internet :(((

 
The Purester Leftist on the Internet
 

Carter recognized Israel and thus deserves to be killed by super-terrorists with x-ray eyes just like Obama and everyone who isn’t me, you Hitler-fucking Bush-felcher!

 
 

The fun thing about trolls is that, when you poke ’em with a stick, they always twitch. Here’s some fun-facts, Chuckles:

1. This is a comedy blog, not a partisan advocacy platform. The comment threads here are home to some of the funniest posters on the inner tubes. You standing up and dropping trou will not change that.

2. This thread is a mostly hilarious deconstruction of a particular article by one Victor Davis Hanson, regarding his absurd observations about welfare recipients. Your comments, even if they were marginally credible, are as appropriate and welcome as bagpipes in a nursery.

3. Trolls are tolerated because we enjoy making farty noises at self-important self-righteous jerkwads. Your point, and I’m sure you have one, is irrelevant. You’re about as likely to make converts to your point of view here as Richard Dawkins is crashing the Hajj.

4. Your stampy-foot claim that you can’t be banned because you are adhering to the “terms of the site” is about as relevant as saying you can’t be tossed out of a private party you weren’t invited to just because you aren’t technically “trespassing”. The groom’s brothers are beefy fuckers and will cheerfully stuff you in the dumpster out back any time they damn well feel like it.

 
 

DOUBLEPLUS surge! Did you catch that? I’ll say it a few thousand more times until it sinks in. (I think it’s a reference to that movie 1941–what a hoot it was!)

 
Senator John S. McCain
 

Actually, I would have kept us in Iraq, which the troll would remember if he weren’t fucking stupid. You cunt.

 
Senator John S. McCain
 

Nurse, the magic typewriter is making fun of me again!

 
Progressive Voice
 

You made fun of people with mental disabilities! I’ll tell on you!

 
 

These are my friends, see how they glisten.
See this one troll, so convinced that he’s right,
My friends, my faithful friends….

 
Senator John S. McCain
 

2008? The election! No, Sarah! Don’t touch the mic! You’re better seen, not heard! NOOO!

Whoa. Sorry about that, my friends. Just having some flashbacks.

 
St. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

The contractions are coming closer together – almost time for a baby LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!

 
 

That there Obamalama just wants his terrorist pals in Afghaniran to get their hooks into our soldiers, you bet–

Oh, god, I can’t do this. So dirty… so dirty…

 
Tiny from Cellblock H
 

Youse know what we do to baby-LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLs in here?

 
 

Boy, lameass troll is lameass.

This one’s not even fun.

 
Super Sarah, the Power Palin!
 

Holy jeez, are those leftist liberals makin’ funsies of me on the internets? Holy wah, I’m gonna have to get my hubby on the horn and have him snowmachine down to the Upper East Side to give them a good punchin’, you betcha.

 
Super Sarah, the Power Palin!
 

Also.

 
 

Super Sarah, the Power Palin!

Okay, I could stand more visits from Super Sarah.

 
 

The fact is, who is defending freedom in USA from the assault you liberals apply every day? We are, the patriots in the Heartland. We are defedning USA from the insidius attacks of the hard left and the far liberals who have taken over, whuile, no more. No more left. No more liberals. hear our cry!

 
 

The fact is, I want to see every liberals tears on Election Night 2012 when Palin/Bachman defeats The Usurper 2-1!

 
Super Sarah, the Power Palin!
 

Okay, I could stand more visits from Super Sarah.

Friend me on Facebook! *wink*

Also.

 
 

roast beef = Beef Supreme

Even has the flamethrower.

 
 

The fact is, when I was young I saw it happen! Obongo took my country and turned it to death! If he was here today I wouldn’t let happen!

 
 

he’s chargin’ under the net!

Veiled COOCHIE reference.

 
 

Gary wants us to make him cry? OMG I KNEW IT!

 
 

I have a scheme that one day all wingnuts will be judged not by the color of their teabags but by the content of their teapots. I have a scheme.

 
 

The fact is, you liberals have no idea whats coming. You are in your biased bubble of MSM and are not tuned into The Heartland and Regular Folks like Me. You will be so shocked when ACORN can’t fake another win for the Ursurper and His Culture of Corruption, and Sarah Palin is triumphant. You will wonder how I was able to call this. Bookmark this, liberals.

 
 

Boom boom boom / Let’s go back to my room / Where we can do it all night / And you can make me feel right

 
 

Hey baby I’d like to talk to you
How about coming back to my room for a little boom boom

You keep coming to me
I can dig your dynamite
Know the way you move
Get in the groove
You’re driving me crazy, crazy for you

Second time you moved me
It’s time for us to Boom Boom
You can come right close to me
And feel the burning fire
All the time you got me
It’s fine for us to boom boom
If you see the spark in me
And feel my strong desire

Boom Boom Boom
Let’s go back to my room
So we can do it all night
And you can make me feel right

Boom Boom Boom
Let’s go back to my room
So we can do it all night
And you can make me feel right

Do the honor to me
Don’t you know I like to bite
Get to the view
Closer to you
You’re driving me crazy, crazy for you

Second time you moved me
It’s time for us to Boom Boom
You can come right close to me
And feel the burning fire
All the time you got me
It’s fine for us to boom boom
If you see the spark in me
And feel my strong desire

Boom Boom Boom
Let’s go back to my room
So we can do it all night
And you can make me feel right

Boom Boom Boom
Let’s go back to my room
So we can do it all night
And you can make me feel right

 
 

Some agendas taste better shoved down my throat than others.

 
 

The fact is, ACORN.

Address my point! Debate me with facts!

 
 

I’m not gay. Shut up.

 
Stu Pedasso's mom
 

Honey, come upstairs for dinner and your bath. I’m taking the bath with you tonight!

 
Whale Chowder (nee OneMan)
 

Didn’t you say you were bi above?

 
 

Obama has just endorsed the Bush position on foreign policy withe the Double-Plus Surge.

At least he will now receive some support from Republican congressmen and right-leaning pundits.

 
 

Wait, I don’t support his Affgannis..whatever.

I think that is where the concentration camp for patriots will be. Now I see the real truth. I wish the media and internet would quit makin’ stuff up.

 
 

Stu sez:
“I can smell the fire being kindled already”

Honey, that’s not fire you smell, ok?

 
Whale Chowder (nee OneMan)
 

“At least he will now receive some support from Republican congressmen and right-leaning pundits.”

Oh you sweet, sweet naif.

This moment marks the point at which the Republicans and RW pundits swing against further involvement in Afghanistan. By this time tomorrow, Rush will be bemoaning the futility of the surge, Beck will have a complete conspiracy theory put together wherein the surge somehow helps AQ and gives Iran highly enriched plutonium, and Palin….well, Palin will be indecipherable, just like she is now.

 
A Second Non-Lester The Giant Ape
 

You’re about as likely to make converts to your point of view here as Richard Dawkins is crashing the Hajj. But Richard Dawkins IS A SECRET MUSSELMAN! This is central to my point.

Genitive organ!

 
 

the surge somehow helps AQ and gives Iran highly enriched plutonium

FALSE. Once again the Christmas rush has made it difficult to find plutonium.

 
 

well, Palin will be indecipherable, just like she is now.

This implies there is something to decipher. There is no signal hidden in the noise (which sounds, when slowed down 1000x, like a high-pitched whine: “Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee”).

 
Putti Squadron Leader Biggles Lungstaple
 

I object to the hijacking of this thread. What about the poor people and their food stamps? What about the suffering masses? One in eight Americans is eating government cheese!
I predict a backlash against something. Whatever. As long as there’s a backlash.

 
97 liters of poop gas
 

I was just emitted from troofie’s butt. Pardon the stench.

 
Progressive, My Hairy Ass
 

Thanks for the invite to read Greenwald. One of the best ways I have found to win an argument on the Internet is citing opinion pieces that agree with my position. Did you know Greenwald is homosexual? That means he’s half bi.

Which is central to my point, which is penis.

Also.

 
A big steaming pile of walrus excrement
 

I’m lonely without my progressive buddy wallowing around amongst my riches.

 
St. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

Smells like concern in here!

 
valkyr of science
 

who is defending freedom in USA from the assault you liberals apply every day?

Every day! Wow, guys, no wonder Pwogwessive Beef is so upset. The instructions on our Librul Assault on FREEDUM cream clearly say, “Apply twice daily.” Now I learn we have only been applying once daily. This is why all the world’s problems haven’t been solved in less than a year. It all makes sense now.

… don’t ask me where that came from.

 
Whale Chowder (nee OneMan)
 

Progressive and Greenwald
Sittin’ in a tree
K-I-S-S-I-N-G
First comes love
Then gay marriage
Then Muslim hordes in a baby carriage!

 
 

The fact is, who is defending freedom in USA from the assault you liberals apply every day? We are, the patriots in the Heartland.

PSst….Gary…the terrorists didn’t attack the Heartland, they attacked the coast, so what the fuck good are you doing 1500 miles away from the fight?

 
 

Progressive Voice said,
December 2, 2009 at 4:39

Wow! Concern troll is double-plus ungood concerned!

 
Whale Chowder (nee OneMan)
 

I slay me.

 
 

Whatever. As long as there’s a backlash.
I have heard that Madame Donna Matrix can fill all your disciplinary needs.

 
 

Well, Gilchrist, what do you think of the DoublePlusGoodSurge? Convinced?

Xecky, you must get in line over here. And everyone else line up behind him. Time for Follow the Leader.

**Calvinball Game erupts**

 
 

So this “surge” thing – that’s where we force all the soldiers to drink Mountain Dew and snowboard down the sides of sheer cliffs while listening to college alternative music?

 
 

Do you ‘famine’ as a synonym for ‘extreme poverty’, or was there actual famine in Appalachia?

There’s even a museum in West Virginia devoted to it.

What? You thought only the Negroes starved in America?

 
 

“This moment marks the point at which the Republicans and RW pundits swing against further involvement in Afghanistan. ”

Indeed, I have been counting on it.

 
St. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

Xecky, you must get in line over here.

Gimme a minute – I’m in the pie line now, and the trolls are really bringing it tonight.

 
The American People
 

We miss the time when we had 4% unemployment, the Dow at record highs, no wars, crime at record lows, a balanced budget, and when a “Surge” was just a shitty imitation Mountain Dew from Coca-Cola.

 
St. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

See? Like that.

 
valkyr of science
 

Even under President Vetinari, the trolls would be concerned.

 
Progressive Voice
 

I see not one supposed man/woman/transperson of the “left on here” has responded to Greenwald’s column.

 
Brilliant Nom De Plume
 

Soon Afghanistan will ring to the sonorous stylings of the Dave Mathews band! VICTORY! WOLVERINES!!!

I’ve lost track of the subject.

 
St. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

The amount of troll posting is proportional to how much Obama’s speech made them poo their pants.

Interesting, the stench is also proportional to that. Pie and poo, piling high together.

 
 

You bisexual progressives make me vomit half-digested clam balls and whiskey sours out of my nose. Stop using me as a backstop, you disgusting alleged bisexual!

 
Progressive Voice
 

You still haven’t addressed Greenwald’s blog post, Gilchrist.

Perhaps that is because you have no logical, adult refutation of his points.

Even the Obama Cultist, Keith Olbermann, is getting sick of Obama’s antics.

When will you?

 
St. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

Glen Greenwald said,

…are you related to Glenn Greenwald? What a guy.

 
 

CNN just said that Obama is sending troops to Afhangistan. I thought that when he said he would do exactly that during his Presidential campaign it was secret code for “reefers for all”, didn’t you guys?

Anybody who thought that damned Centrist, Obama, was much more than “better than a sharp stick in the eye…er, John McCain & Sarah Palin” was fuckin dreaming. We all knew it, and all this “he ain’t your messiah! nyah nyah!” bullshit means fucking nothing to me.

Come back and yell at me when there’s some option besides “YOU ARE SO FUCKED” and “YOU MAY NOT BE QUITE SO FUCKED,” okay? Jesus fucking Christ.

For the record, I hate it, I think it is stupid, I think it will turn out badly, it will hurt in the elections even. But here we are, and we know why, right??

 
Progressive Voice
 

At FDL they’re ripping apart the President’s speech as the corporatist, military-industrial apologia it was. Even Kos isn’t impressed.

 
 

Bookmark it libs.

 
Progressive Voice
 

CNN just said that Obama is sending troops to Afhangistan. I thought that when he said he would do exactly that during his Presidential campaign it was secret code for “reefers for all”, didn’t you guys?

As Greenwald said, George W. Bush campaigned in 2004 on the Iraq War, tax cuts for the rich, torture, and the privatization of Social Security. But just because he campaigned on that shouldn’t prevent us from criticizing those policies when he indeed did carry them out, right? Why should we have a different standard with Obama?

 
 

Oh, I get it now. I was wondering why there was this surge in trolls from both the left and right all of a sudden, but then I figured it out. Obama gave his speech tonight, and it’s like putting chili powder in the hemorrhoid cream for these losers. The all hate hate hate Obama (for different reasons, but no less fervently) and they just can’t stand it when he gets to stand up there, the eyes of the nation and the cameras of all the networks fixed on him, while he speaks. He is eloquent, reasonable, measured, intelligent–everything they wish they were. They can’t just disagree with him–no, they must despise him with the fire of a thousand burning sphincters. Believe it or not, I sympathize. I felt the same visceral, nauseated, impotent fury every time I had to watch Bush step up to a podium for the last 8 years. What I didn’t do, however, was to go and puke all over someone else’s blog as a way to try to feel better. Some of the posters here, I believe, did and do blow off steam in that way from time to time, so I guess I can’t fault the urge to troll in and of itself. It’s not my pasa tiempo, but hey, to each his own. What none of them are guilty of, I would hazard to guess, is the delusion that anyone at those sites would take them seriously. Hit and run–that’s the way to troll, my sons. Post a nice zinger, hang around long enough to enjoy the reflexive backlash, maybe lob a follow-up barb or three, then motor on home. Don’t delude yourselves that you’re going to engage any kind of real dialogue, let alone make any converts. It’s just not the venue, boys.

 
 

Well, or what Steerpike said, only more reasonably & with less cussing.

I like cussing though.

 
 

I guess Regressive Beefy has indeed answered for us the old Zen koan, “What is the sound of one hand fapping?”

 
St. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

Regressive Beefy has indeed answered for us the old Zen koan…

Heh, not to mention the age-old question, “who beefed”?

 
 

Some damn troll is using my name on this site.

Progressive Voice — come home, baby.

 
Progressive Voice
 

I still notice that nobody, NOBODY has even REMOTELY come close to talking about Greenwald’s very substantive post. Very instructive, indeed.

 
 

“Afhangistan” by the way is a brilliant typo. Sounds like the haji have enormous passionloaves.

 
the fire of a thousand burning sphincters
 

I fucking love you people. So intelligent, so articulate, and so goddamn infantile. I AM NOT ALONE!

Kiss me.

 
 

Address my post something somebody else posted, libs!

(see above honeychunks. We don’t owe you an argument, or validation, or money, or a handjob, or whatever it is you’re stamping your feet and demanding. Go to bed now like a good little troll and let the grownups talk mmkay? kiss kiss)

 
the fire of a thousand burning sphincters
 

Steerpike, for chrissakes come back to bed, will you?

 
Progressive Voice
 

You cannot refute or even remotely begin to discuss Greenwald’s post, because there is no logical refutation of is points against the Obama DoublePlusMcSurge.

 
 

1. Very long day, meetings, traveling (hey you…overgrown fratboys in suits: Amtrak calls it the “quiet car” because people go there to escape loudmouthed morons like you, so when the conductor asks you nicely to tone it down, SHUT UP), check in to the hotel, whip out the wireless (veiled non-bondage reference) and see 300+ comments. Troll? Two trolls, no three plus fakes. Home is where when you go there they’ve got to take you in…

2. the Frau Doktorin complained about my eyebrow looking like a woolly caterpillar

Let me guess: you used to have two eyebrows but you shaved off the top one.

 
 

“Let them eat iPods”

So, looking at the Google, it seems that a 32″ LCD TV costs about $400 or so on average. How many groceries do you think this would buy a family of four? A month’s worth, maybe.

So you can either spend that money on necessities and a month later be back on welfare and food stamps, or you can occasionally splurge and at least have SOME relaxation and fun in your otherwise extremely stressful life.

Not to mention that many of us poor folks have wealthy or upper-middle class relatives, the kind of people who can’t support us full time but can afford to buy us an iPod for Christmas.

The VDHs of the world seem to think that you aren’t actually poor unless you live under a bridge and have no possessions whatsoever. Or, more accurately, they believe that the poor should sell all their possessions and move under a bridge as some sort of penance for being poor.

 
the fire of a thousand burning sphincters
 

N_B, you come to bed, too. We can yiff.

 
 

So you can either spend that money on necessities and a month later be back on welfare and food stamps, or you can occasionally splurge and at least have SOME relaxation and fun in your otherwise extremely stressful life.

but but but Negroes welfare queens vodka food stamps Wal-Mart riot Ipod VDH shut up that’s why!

 
 

N_B, you come to bed, too. We can yiff.

Funny you should bring that up. There’s a dog or possibly wolf howling outside the hotel window. I’m in DC, so the possibility that it’s a were-dachshund has me terrified.

 
 

You cannot refute or even remotely begin to discuss Greenwald’s post

PV, honey, some of us have read the Greenwald piece; some of us haven’t. Some of us undoubtedly agree with him; some don’t. What none of us is inclined to do is discuss it with you. It’s nothing personal, it’s just…no, wait, it is personal. We just don’t…like you…sorry, but there it is.

Here’s what you do. Just click here and go nuts.

kthxbai

 
 

Also, in terms of the concern trolls, I get that they’re assholes, but could we maybe come up with some defenses of Obama that aren’t “Well, think about this: PRESIDENT MCCAIN!!!!!!!!”

Honestly, saying Obama is better than McCain is like saying “Well, Obama’s never taken down his trousers and peed all over the White House press corps”. Saying he’s better than Palin is like saying he’s never been on a cross-country killing spree.

In any kind of sane society, being better than McCain and Palin and all their Republican pals would be the minimum requirement for participating in polite society, not something that gets you elected President.

Remember when the right-wingers used to say “At least we don’t film ourselves decapitating journalists!” as a way to somehow excuse Abu Ghraib? I didn’t like when they did it and I don’t really like when we do it, either.

“Not being bugfuck crazy” is just such a low bar, you know?

 
 

Also, in terms of the concern trolls, I get that they’re assholes, but could we maybe come up with some defenses of Obama

The default position regarding any American president should be FUCK HIM. Maybe one day FUCK HER.

 
I forgot my original moniker in all the excitement
 

Here’s what you do. Just click here and go nuts.

kthxbai

Is possibly the single greatest snark in the entire history of the Internet.

Seriously.

In so few words — everything! Jesus H. Waterman, it’s perfect. There are so few perfect lines in this world.

I wish to register my vote at this time. IT WAS SEEN HERE FIRST.

 
 

To Progressive Roast. Stercorem pro cerebro habes

 
I forgot my original moniker in all the excitement
 

It only works as a line with the link, by the way. I forgot to add it.

 
 

but could we maybe come up with some defenses of Obama that aren’t “Well, think about this: PRESIDENT MCCAIN!!!!!!!!”

…Political reality?

I think Obama has mostly good intentions, but I also think he’s something of a coward and won’t move to action unless nudged. Given what and who he’s had to deal with, I think he’s done a good job. I know it sounds like more excuses, but you really can’t have an honest discussion about Obama without taking that into consideration. Most of us are probably in the leftmost tenth of the country, and we, like our teabaggy counterparts, will never see someone in the Oval Office who we’re completely happy with. Does Obama infuriate with me sometimes? Most definitely, but I still think he’s one of the better options out there, if only because liberals can work with him in a way that they never could with any recent presidents.

 
 

Chris, I agree with you that “better than McCain” is a low standard, but honestly, it is true that, at the root, that is the choice we faced, and came with a hairsbreadth of choosing disastrously wrongly.

here is a nice list of accomplishments that Obama can be at least a little bit proud.

That said, believe me, I do wish the dude were more progressive, more aggressive, and truer to the ideals he campaigned and wrote about. I am disappointed he hasn’t changed the world in 10 months like we all hoped he would, but I’m not going to throw him under the bus precisely because throwing him under the bus means we will have McCain/Palin next time, or whatever equally fucked up combination they throw out in 2012.

“Give the guy a chance” does not mean “Obama is the Messiah, we must march in lockstep behind him and never disagree”. It means: “this is the choice: not-perfect, and horrible.”

 
I forgot my original moniker in all the excitement
 

Felonious, you’re wrong. It’s not the leftmost tenth, it’s the leftmost one in eight, on food stamps. Get back on topic.

 
 

Hokay, I dunno, I’ve been through a number of presidents in my voting life, bein so old & all, and there’s some conclusions to which I’ve come (VPR). Here they are, by president:

1. Jimmy Carter
Jimmy was a centrist. He was also a realist, which was his real sin, and one of the main reasons he lost to Reagan.

2. Reagan
The real reason for most of our political disconnects. The southern strategy combined with anti-government rhetoric and a toxic foreign policy. Succeeded in allowing the Soviet Union to implode. Whew.

3. Geo HW Bush. Eh. Lots of BAD foreign policy and no domestic policy worth the name. Main aim: tax cuts. Hmmm, wonder why that didn’t have universal appeal.

4. Bill Clinton. Lessee… welfare reform, police actions all over the globe, glass-steagall…tell me again why we claim this guy as any kind of liberal. Tell me also any excuse for the right painting him as some screaming left-wing crazy…although the media certainly went along with that characterization.

5. That Idiot. Let us not dwell; we all know.

6. Barack Obama. A corporate centrist Dem; not a crazed hawk but certainly not averse to imposing our will/our military on selected countries. Willing to do what is necessary to make our stupid financial/health systems limp along enough to get by; unwilling to make any real changes. Note that the right paints this fainting goat centrist as a crazed socialist. Much of the media seems to agree.

Now then. Given all that: What fucking excuse does anyone have for claiming a progressive politics if they have truly supported any of these pple?

Progressive surely means something besides corporate democrat? Because that’s the best that I think we’ve gotten over the past 30 yrs. I’m not sanguine about the next 30 either, because we are stupid, and we decide on our politics on the basis of something other than facts and policy. Fuck us.

Seriously. We have a fucking problem. We need to fix it, and no cure is in sight. We need bigger changes than “far right fuckhead to centrist hopemeister.” Sure we won’t get them and what then?

I blame religion. Seriously. It teaches us to believe shit for reasons besides “appears to be true” And really, what then? We all just wish we lived in a world where our shit worked. End.

Fuck that.

And furthermore, I have no idea what triggered all this shit,** and I don’t know what to do about it anyway. Nostrowie!!

** wodka

 
Progressive Voice
 

Shell Goddamnit , you’re fucking brilliant!

 
Progressive Voice
 

China is the future, and to a lesser extent Europe.

America is finished as nation within the next 15 years. Mark my words.

 
 

America is finished as nation within the next 15 years. Mark my words.

I’ll bookmark it, lib!

It’d be a more interesting continent if the US broke up into Pacifica, Atlantica, Heartlandia, Yokelstan, Alaska and Hawaii.

 
Progressive Voice
 

And when the USA collapses the entire world outside our borders will cry out in a great eruption of joy the likes of which the world has never seen.

It will be a great day when this happens: when American Imperialism along with our sick political system is finished.

 
The Kid from Kounty Meath
 

15 years? Wasn’t Obama gonna be our last president a little while ago? What, is the Supreme Court just gonna trade back and forth for the other eight years? You fucking egomaniacal fake-bisexual right-wing Naderfucker?

 
Senator John S. McCain
 

Da, comrade! For glorious People’s Revolution of Soviet Russia! We must CRUSH the imperialist American dogs like the imperialist dogs they are!

 
 

And of course I forget to change my name back. Oh well. Funnier this way.

 
 

And then we’ll try Hopey for treason and…. aw, shit, accidentally switched personas again. And I came. Nope, never mind. Pee.

 
 

Progressive Voice, fuck you. You ain’t helping. We’ve never had a progressive politics in this country. Thus, Obama not being particularly “progressive” doesn’t mean shit.

Goddamn, do I speak Chinese or something? Where is that progressive alternative that the majority of pple could actually like you know fucking vote for? If they don’t vote progressive because of the media (a reasonable thesis) then for gods sake hit that, okay? Still not Obama’s fault. And besides, he’s black and named Hussein, reason enough to love him, so fuck fucking off, oh fucking kay? yes.

 
 

Oh come on, get into the alternate history of it. Imagine The Great Wall of Yokelstan, keeping Mexicans and Yankees out unless it’s harvest time.

 
 

Agreed Shell. In order for anything to change, there has to be a legitimate third party movement. And before anyone accuses me of Naderism, forget it. Suppose by some fluke he had managed to secure an electoral vote majority, can you imagine what a Nader administration would have looked like? Nader actually is a Socialist–or at least a whole lot closer than Obama ever was in his most radical-freshman-bong-dorm days. Nader or McKinney or any true liberal would be absolutely powerless. Not one cabinet secretary, not one ambassador, not one judicial nominee–let alone Supreme–would survive the Senate; no budget, no legislative initiative would survive in the House, when literally not one member of either chamber would be in his party.

A third party (and fourth, fifth?) needs to start at the municipal, county and state level. It takes time to build a party structure that will eventually lead to a power at the national level–that’s just the way it is. What has Nader done to contribute to that kind of ground-up party organizing for the Greens, or the Progressives or whoever?

 
 

Goddamnit, Shell Goddamnit. I was having fun reading all the troll-baiting until your post about the presidents dragged me back to cold, hard penisreality.

…Well, what is there left to say? Supporting bad candidates over terrible ones, as impure as that sounds, is sometimes simply necessary. I’d love to see more progressives in positions of power, but given our piece of shit media and ignorant populace, I don’t know how it will happen.

 
 

Fuck strike fail fuck. FYWP.

 
 

I give a challange to all of the purity trolls out there, name a better President than Obama in the last 40 years. I know that is a low standard but give it a shot and more importantly give reasons. Otherwise STFU.

 
Progressive Voice
 

Americans are too stupid to vote for a Progressive, thus, this country is finished. Doomed to failure and collapse soon, just like the USSR. Up to and including a failed economy and failed war in Afghanistan.

CHINA is the future, not America.

 
 

Yeah Steerpike, this is how the Right did it – School Board and Dog Catcher and etc. They fucking blew it in the end, but there it is.There hasn’t been a progressive politics in the USA for umpty – that doesn’t mean there couldn’t be, but yessir, it would be a fight, and a long-term fight at that. Oddly, I still take comfort in the fact that if asked if they agree with appropriate DESCRIPTIONS of progressive political positions ie do you think everyone should have medical care, as opposed to do you think we should give medical care to the poor, then the progressives get the numbers. It is a media problem. It always has been. GO THERE. Yeah.

 
 

Clarification: By STFU I don’t mean no criticism but stop the whining because what did you expect. This is America goddamit.

 
The Chinese Travel Agency That Pays Progressive Voice to Post This Shit
 

Check’s in the mail, pal. Always a pleasure to have this big a whore working for us.

 
Progressive Voice
 

Everything being perfect takes too lo-ongggg! I wanna be done no-owwwwww!

 
Progressive Voice
 

BTW, a leading Russian intellectual predicts that the USA will collapse in a USSR-style implosion sometime between 2010 and 2011. Laugh if you want, but a lot of people laughed at the suggestion that th USSR would collapse at one time, too.

 
 

Oh goddamn hell yes you vote for the impure motherfucker – I have had to do it EVERY FUCKING TIME and dirty as it makes me sex is dirtier… er, what?

 
 

Laugh if you want

And I will.

Hahaha. Ha. Hahaaaaaa. Heh. Hohohohehehahahaha.

Don’t suppose a link is too much ask for. I could use a laugh.

 
Progressive Voice
 

Want a link? Here it is:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/northamerica/usa/3521671/US-will-collapse-and-break-up-Russian-analyst-predicts.html

I’m sure your vain belief in Amerian Exceptionalism numbs you to the plain facts of this prediction.

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

I’m in DC, so the possibility that it’s a were-dachshund David Vitter has me terrified.

Fizzixed for great justice.

 
 

“Americans are too stupid to vote for a Progressive, thus, this country is finished. Doomed to failure and collapse soon, just like the USSR. Up to and including a failed economy and failed war in Afghanistan.
CHINA is the future, not America.”

Because China is sooo progressive right? You are so infantile PV. That China will be a major player in a decade or so is true. The U.S., Europe, and China and maybe India will be the top powers in years to come but your whining that Obama not being progressive enough is the cause of this is just plain silly.

 
The Kid from Kounty Meath
 

LONG LIVE AMERIA!

 
Progressive Voice
 

The USA won’t be a top power, we’re doomed to failure, collapse, and anarchy. Our days as a world power are OVER, period, full-stop.

 
 

Thanks for the anonymous compliment above, whoever, by the way. I haven’t won an internetz in a long time

 
 

“Laugh if you want, but a lot of people laughed at the suggestion that th USSR would collapse at one time, too.”

Name one. Just one or I call bullshit.

 
 

Canadian influence? Oh my deary goodness. So that’s why the fuckers have been so quiet-they’ve been PLOTTING for their takeover of the American rust belt. Quick, every stock up on milk gallons and NFL memorabilia before our Canadian overlords ban it!

Nah, nobody’s got the balls to secede here. Not to say I wouldn’t like to see some of them go.

 
Progressive Voice
 

Name one? How about the French academic Emanuel Todd in La chute finale: Essais sur la décomposition de la sphère Soviétique ? They laughed at his prediction, too, but he was right. The Soviet Union didn’t live to see the 21st Century.

Mr. Todd is also very astute in his observations of American society, including our “cultural obesity”, and wrote a brilliant book and prediction of American total collapse called Après L’Empire: essai sur la décomposition du système américain. Read it some time.

 
 

All it took was a brief perousal of the Wiki to figure out that this Emannuel Todd only predicted the end of unipolar American hegemony, not “failure, collapse, and anarchy” or whatever fuck-all you’re suggesting. If you think that not being absolute number one is akin to failure, you’re more of an Exceptionalist than anyone here.

Or, alternately, you’re a gibbering idiot who doesn’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.

 
 

In an interview with the Russian newspaper Izvestia, he outlined how the US would divide along ethnic and cultural lines.

They are: the Pacific coast with its growing Chinese population; the increasingly Hispanic South; independence-minded Texas; the Atlantic Coast; a central state with a large Native American population; and the northern states where – he maintains – Canadian influence is strong.

Alaska could be claimed by Russia, he said, claiming that the region was “only granted on lease, after all”.

Lets see if I have this straight, China will take California, Mexico will retake the Southwest, Canada will take the North, Texas will form its own country, the native Americans will retake the midwest. HAhahahahahahahahah

 
Progressive Voice
 

Any objective observer can see clearly that the USA is a society in decline. We’re just a bunch of obese, drunk, drug-added fucks shopping at Wal-Mart driving our stupid oversized SUVs.

 
Progressive Voice
 

I mean “drug-addled”.

 
Progressive Voice
 

Not to mention the stupidest, most violent, ugliest nation in the world.

 
 

Dammit, if I won an internetz I would give to the poor. Ahem.

I have severe mixzed feelings here btw because I am such a pessimist, such a “glass half full” person… I actually AGREE with Progressive Voice, kill me now, to an extent. I question that we can ever do more than make vague gestures at progressive policies, BECAUSE WE NEVER HAVE BEFORE. Have we? Okay, twice so far maybe in what? 100 yrs? It’s just… that took a lot out of us, and something as huge (capitalistically speaking) as medical care for all is bound to take as much out of us or more.

Yeah, I’m a downer, Debbie Shelly Downer. Sue me.

 
Progressive Voice
 

The world would be a better place if the USSR had “won” the Cold War in 1989, don’t you think so, people of the “left”?

 
St. Kid from Kounty Meath
 

Jesus, troll. Put down the Mad-Libs and fuck off to bed.

 
Progressive Voice
 

Doesn’t my shit smell like roses, people of the “left”? I am the only smart person in the world, and only if you renounce your foolish “realism” and follow Me shall your nation be spared!!!!!!!

 
 

Progressive Voice said,
December 2, 2009 at 6:43

“Name one?”

Your reading is poor. I asked you to name someone who laughed at the idea that the U.S.S.R. would collapse someday. The opposite of the question you answered.

 
 

Going back up and re-reading the last hour or so I re-read your run-down of the last few Presidents, and I would agree with most of your assessments. to continue back a bit farther:

Ford: Fundamentally decent but uninspiring placeholder. Doomed by a bad economy and the taint of Nixon.

Nixon: politically moderate, personally unpleasant and devious man. His corruption was more self-serving than corporate, for the most part. His Southern Strategy weakened the Democratic Party for a generation.

Johnson: Also doomed by over-reliance on military advisors, and unable to enact much of an ambitious domestic agenda because of the albatross of Viet Nam. Probably the most liberal leader since FDR.

 
 

Johnson: Also doomed by over-reliance on military advisors, and unable to enact much of an ambitious domestic agenda because of the albatross of Viet Nam.

The Vietnam conversations he recorded in the Oval Office are just the saddest things. It’s real delusion from a man who did many other great things.

 
Progressive Voice
 

Please keep in mind that, no matter what I say, I’m just another variation on the same troll: a smarmy, self-obsessed egomaniac who seethes with rage over the fact that the world isn’t tripping over itself to bow and worship my brilliance. I don’t give a shit about how progressive the president is, and I certainly don’t give a shit about what the reason for 9/11 was; I’ve just discovered that people get pissed off when I say everyone killed on 9/11 deserved it, and that’s the only way anyone will take notice of anything I say. Just remember that- my only real politics are my own narcissism. I suck and am utterly worthless.

 
 

“The world would be a better place if the USSR had “won” the Cold War in 1989, don’t you think so, people of the “left”?”

O.K. Game over. PV has exposed itself as a wingnut troll. Every word out of its mouth is a lie. I suspect some unemployed lazy rightwinger on foodstamps.

 
 

…but your whining that Obama not being progressive enough is the cause of this is just plain silly.

I think stupid obvious troll is stupidly obvious.

 
 

Shell:

The way to keep yourself from going crazy is just to view it as we need to take baby steps, pick battles we can win, and move slowly upwards. That’s what the modern conservative movement did: It dates back to the 50’s, but didn’t come to fruition until Reagan, who ended up looking like Michael Moore when people like Gingrich and Limbaugh showed up.

Yeah, it’s not the most glamorous or satisfying thing to say, but it’s what we got to work with. Only Wall Street nobody gets everything they want, even though it might seem that way with the far right sometimes. Me, I think health care reform will pass, I think it will be presentable and not a total wash, and I think it will be an achievement. When I look back on all the times it was declared dead by people who are supposed to know everything, and looking at it now, in the very last leg of the race, I feel goddamned proud, obvious flaws be damned. It will be a great victory to build off of. But it’s not all going to come at once, and some of it won’t come at all, and that’s just the way it is.

Although I must question this notion that America hasn’t gotten a single progressive thing accomplished in the last 50 years. Ask any minority whether they’d rather be alive now or 50 years ago.

 
 

“I think stupid obvious troll is stupidly obvious.”

I think, fair point.

 
St. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

I suspect some unemployed lazy rightwinger on foodstamps.

Agreed.

It’s a familiar sort of squawk from this troll – I got chicken pox when I was in my mid-twenties, so it’s not some dim childhood memory. I remember when the itching got really bad how I just wanted to crawl out of my skin. I think being a self-loating wingnut feels like that all the time. Only inside your head where you can’t scratch, even by posting on teh Sadly.

 
Progressive Voice
 

Well whatever, I’m done here for now.

Keep driving around in your SUVs, stuffing your faces full of KFC, shopping at Wal-Mart, buying crap manufactured by slave labor, and jerking off to porno while cuddled up in your Snuggies because you’re too lazy to take your hand out of a regular blanked to masturbate. That’s a pretty good metaphor for Americans these days, actually.

 
Progressive Voice
 

OOOH! I gots a good medafur! Yay me! Give me chocolate and women, slaves!

 
 

Oh noez! the troll has made us all feel terrible, and he insulted our sexuality, and then he just left! I feel so empty…so dirty. Oh, pleeez come back and snark us again, sir, we promise to try to be more like you…pleeez?

 
 

I now want fried chicken.

 
 

PV, don’t let the door hit your brain on the way out.

 
 

I’ll be in my bunk

 
 

Steerpike, my love (I hope you don’t mind), Johnson is in my opinion the great tragic figure in politics in the 20th century. The civil rights legislation was so huge: but Vietnam was/is so horrible (my peers & my dates were vets of that era) that it rivals the civil rights in terms of …of I don’t even know what to say here, a person can’t oppose civil rights and be considered HUMAN. But we all know how horrible Viet Nam was; ask Hugh Thompson.

Unfortunately, there are those people, although they hide, the motherfuckers, behind the Vietnam era vets.

Did I mention the fine fine Polish wodka? Yes.

 
 

“Senator John S. McCain said,
December 2, 2009 at 3:35
Nurse, the magic typewriter is making fun of me again!”

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

 
 

Lets see if I have this straight, China will take California, Mexico will retake the Southwest, Canada will take the North, Texas will form its own country, the native Americans will retake the midwest.

And then we take Berlin!

 
 

“The Vietnam conversations he recorded in the Oval Office are just the saddest things. It’s real delusion from a man who did many other great things.”

The LBJ administration was sad. If I had to rate him, I couldn’t give just one. He gets an A on domestic policy (Civil Rights, Medicaid, ETC.) and a D- on foreign policy. (Vietnam) A good film on this subject was “Path to War” an HBO film, not sure if it is on DVD.

 
St. Xecklothxayyquou Gilchrist
 

And then we take Berlin!

And Utah will become the State of Deseret, like God ordained back in the olden days.

Or else it will be destroyed in a war between the crickets and the seagulls.

 
 

“And then we take Berlin!”

I live in the northeast and now I am very concerned about the Canadian army over-taking my homeland.

 
 

“It will be destroyed in a war between the crickets and the seagulls.”

I’m going with the Seagulls on this one irregardless of the points.

 
 

Oh dear, I didn’t mean to make folks spend the time soothing me… lord, lord, I am an old leftist, and I deal with what I am given, and I hope I don’t ask too damned much

Seriously, what IS too damned much, and how can I tell when I have FINALLY got there??

 
 

you’re too lazy to take your hand out of a regular blanked to masturbate.

Pastor Swank? Is that you?

 
 

Well, Sadlies, I must bid you good night. I have to get up horribly early, and it looks like we’ll have 2 or 3 inches (VPVPR) of snow on the ground for me in the morning.

 
 

it looks like we’ll have 2 or 3 inches (VPVPR) of snow on the ground for me in the morning.

If you were a true progressive you’d be giving 80% of that snow to the government.

 
Erick Erickson, maybe
 

If you were a true progressive you’d be giving 80% of that snow to the government.

Because ROCK SALT. MELTS. SNOW.

I’M THE FUNNY.

 
Faustian Bargain Bin
 

Can I give that snow to my government? Pleeeease?! Pretty please with sugar and sprinkles and PENIS on top?!

Stephen Fucking Harper can have it, as far as I’m concerned.

In his shoes, in his bed, in his pillowcase, on the expensive rug he no doubt has in his living room somewhere — failing that, his nearest hardwood floor — in his underwear drawer…you get the idea.

 
 

Shell Goddamnit, you promised me you would swallow.

 
I forgot my original moniker in all the excitement
 

Nurse, the magic typewriter is making fun of me again!

 
 

Eh? I said I would swallow **a swallow.** I think you misunderstood.

Mmmmm… wild birds.

 
Pwogwessive Voice, hehehehehehehehe
 

I mean am “drug-addled”.

fixxored

 
 

Hmmmm. Let’s see. I don’t have a car at the moment, and prefer small cars anyway. Fried chicken is right out, much to my dismay. There aren’t any Mal-Warts near me, and I don’t think I’ve ever bought anything in one. I can’t even afford shit made by slaves right now. Hey! Now you’ve hit on something. Don’t know about the snuggie thing, though. Why would I need to take my hand out of the blanket?

brb.

 
 

And then we take Berlin!

They sentenced me to twenty years of boredom,
For trying to change the system from within!

 
 

2. the Frau Doktorin complained about my eyebrow looking like a woolly caterpillar
Let me guess: you used to have two eyebrows but you shaved off the top one.

No, it pupated.

 
Internet Anagram Server
 

Progressive Voice = Crises Revive Goop; Scrooges Revive Pi; Voice Gripes Servo; Spice Grooves Rive; Corgi Revive Posse; Scree Vie Vigor Sop

 
 

Six AM in the US capital – at least until we break up into seventeen countries and whatever the hell Texas is – and the dog/wolf/vitter is still howling. Maybe the reason people here do such stupid things is they’re sleep-deprived.

it pupated.

TMI.

 
 

these are NO pursuit of any goblin!

 
Victor Davis Hanson
 

This thread is supposed to be about me. Me, me, me, me, dammit.

 
 

That’s a pretty good metaphor for Americans these days, actually.

Actually, that sounds more like a guilt-laden Kucinich supporter to me.

 
 

And then we take Berlin!

Dibs on Terri Nunn!

 
 

<iThe world would be a better place if the USSR had won the Cold War in 1989, don’t you think so, people of the left?

I sat nuclear alert in SAC during the Cold War.

Don’t recall seeing you there, by the way.

 
 

I sat nuclear alert in SAC during the Cold War.

Thanks, man.

 
 

I’m sure your vain belief in Amerian Exceptionalism numbs you to the plain facts of this prediction.

No. American Exceptionalism is the fallacy that allows so many wingnuts and conservatives to think that the Empire can go on forever when the facts of the matter (and the lessons of history) shout (or scream) just the opposite.

 
 

He gets an A on domestic policy (Civil Rights, Medicaid, ETC.) and a D- on foreign policy. (Vietnam)

Admittedly, a land war in Asia is a stupid idea, even if he was handed the war by the previous two administrations, one that the atmosphere at the time demanded he fight to win (the Domino Theory). In this regard, his was much like Obama’s plight.

However, he kept the Soviet Union out of the Middle East during the Six Day War, which could have wreaked all kinds of havoc, particularly on the tail of the Cuban Missile Crisis.

D- is not an unfair grade, altho I’d tend to bump him up a little, to maybe a C-.

 
 

It’s a weird feeling signing for an aircraft with 16 nuclear weapons on it.

Mostly it was a whole lot of opportunity to get yourself in trouble career-wise.

They used to say “To err is human. To forgive is not SAC policy”.

 
I Can't Believe It's Not Private Charity
 

“…it’s time for them to rant about turning to the churches as the solution for the poor, instead of the government…”

I volunteer for the local Food Bank.

Most of our indigent food recipients are referred to us by churches.

Oh noes!

 
 

Because this never gets old…

Tom Friedman, some time in the recent past: Suck. On. This.

Tommy today, wishing he had a time machine: “To me, the most important reason for the Iraq war was never W.M.D. It was to see if we could partner with Iraqis to help them build something that does not exist in the modern Arab world”

 
 

Ha, Ted beats mr atrios to the punch.

 
 

Wow! I didn’t realize just how much of a sick fuck Tom Friedman is until now.

He’s right up there in Michael Ledeen territory.

 
 

PSst….Gary…the terrorists didn’t attack the Heartland, they attacked the coast, so what the fuck good are you doing 1500 miles away from the fight?

I was in Kansas, or Missouri (forget which) and I pulled up to get some gas. This was 2004-5. We were in the middle of nowhere, population 583.

There was, no kidding, a sign that said the homeland security alert level was orange and that I should see the cashier for details.

See the cashier. Because of course, the clerk at the Buttfuck Egypt 7-11 had been trained in antiterrorism tactics and left there by the Homeland Security Department to defend Buttfuck, Egypt.

This was when I knew the entire War on Terror and the Homeland Security garbage was a fucking kabuki. If this was what our anti-terrorism dollars were doing for us, we were FUCKED.

 
 

Slippy, we were brutally attacked on Sept. 11, and all the Bushies gave us was a rainbow.

 
 

What makes all the “this president isn’t progressive enough” trolling so tiresome is the naivete that underlies it. Which, in a nutshell, is the idea that “one man can fix EVERYTHING.”

Sorry, but no, no he can’t. We could have Michael Moore as president, and so long as we continue this bullshit about corporations being “persons” with the right to own as many members of Congress and other politicians as they can buy, things would not change to any appreciable degree. More than that, so long as no one is challenging, on a regular basis, the insanity of having a democratic form of government whose overriding ideal & value when considering any and all public policy is to allow those who already have the most to own EVERYTHING, nothing is going to ever really improve.

I can find a lot of fault with the actions of the Democratic Party and its leaders over the past 30 years, but I fault them for that last the most. It’s an irrational idea and yet not only do they fail to make a sustained and concerted effort to tear it down, none of them will even MENTION the absurdity of the idea that the founding fathers set up the form of government we have for the sole purpose of allowing a handful of the citizens to own everything and lock the rest of us into economic serfdom.

If you want to change the way things work in this country, that’s the starting point – convincing the proles that government should be about THEIR interests as well, not just about making sure that the guys who are already rich are allowed to own EVERYTHING – including the government.

 
 

I’m in DC, so the possibility that it’s a were-dachshund has me terrified.

Oooh, catch it for me! Those are near impossible to find in shelters to adopt! A wire-hair were-dacha would be my preference, but I’m easy on that score.

Alaska could be claimed by Russia, he said, claiming that the region was “only granted on lease, after all”.

This apparently is a view held in Russia by people who also think it was done by a Tsarina who wasn’t even alive at the time. IOW: nyet.

So you can either spend that money on necessities and a month later be back on welfare and food stamps, or you can occasionally splurge and at least have SOME relaxation and fun in your otherwise extremely stressful life.

I don’t disagree, but nothing he concludes follows from anything he says: he can’t assure us that any of the people he saw buying Walmartian luxury goods were on any sort of assistance, in fact he doesn’t actually know if he saw a single person on welfare, he just assumes these things because hey, there were so many peoples it had to be more than 7/8 of the population. Personally, I think the number of people on assistance able scrape together enough to buy a brand new LCD TV at retail, and willing to purchase that over clothes, Christmas gifts for their kids, small food and personal splurges, etc is probably small enough to interview them all individually to discover their personal hows and whys, and then decide any possible adjustments to welfare policy on reality instead of his ex culo arguments.

 
 

Personally, I think the number of people on assistance able scrape together enough to buy a brand new LCD TV at retail, and willing to purchase that over clothes, Christmas gifts for their kids,

I’d argue that the TV would be the gift for the entire family, full stop, that everyone pooled what little money they had earned on a paper route or returning deposit bottles or in tips from the local diner, and decided on one nice gift that everyone could enjoy, particularly given the transition to digital broadcasting this year.

 
 

Oh sure, absolutley, I just think the number is probably small enough that one could fairly easily research their actual thinking rather than broadly basing welfare policy on his evidence-free fever dream notion that OMG all the poor people are buying schmancy TVs therefore they don’t need money.

 
 

“Absolutley Muttley” was a horrible show.

 
Victor Davis Hanson
 

…”research”? Quid the hell est “research”?

 
 

Jennifer said,
December 2, 2009 at 16:36

I’m smitten when you talk like that.
If I wasn’t happily married I’m sure you’d have a restraining order against me by now.

 
 

I’ll never look at Lifetime movies the same way again.

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

“I’ll never look at Lifetime movies the same way again.”

The Diaries of Madam and Eve

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

Looking at Meredith Baxter’s IMDB page I see that every title on her resume lends itself to veiled references.

 
 

Big question of the day – when is Tiger Woods getting impeached?

 
 

Looking at Meredith Baxter’s IMDB page I see that every title on her resume lends itself to veiled references.

While I can’t say I’m disappointed…cuz the thought of her in girl-on-girl action is teh hawt…I have to confess I held out a slim hope of being trapped in an elevator with her overnight.

 
 

when is Tiger Woods getting impeached?

Why? For sinking his putz?

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

I have to confess I held out a slim hope of being trapped in an elevator with her overnight.

Could still happen.

 
 

Could still happen.

yea, but with my luck, some trucker named Bertha will be stuck with us.

 
 

I sat nuclear alert in SAC during the Cold War.

Jeebus. Thanks for that, and I’m impressed with your nerve.

I have a retired Air Force buddy who watched radar screens in Berlin during the Reagan years, waiting for the blip that meant it was time to launch. I don’t think I could handle it.

Why? For sinking his putz?

Maybe he caught – and passed along – the golf clap.

 
 

Maybe he caught – and passed along – the golf clap.

He always had trouble with his long wood.

 
 

The fact is, billionaire golfers are the epitome of progressive politics and the American people will not stand for “President” Obamiscengation’s involvement in Tigergate. We begin impeachment in fifteen minutes. Bookmark it, libs!

 
 

*polite golf clap*

Well played, “Gary”

Martini?

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

Major Kong,

Thanks for looking out for us! That had to be a grueling assignment.

 
 

“The Golf Clap”

FTW

wel played, sir. *golf…um…clap*

 
 

I have to confess I held out a slim hope of being trapped in an elevator with her overnight.

Could still happen.

yea, but with my luck, some trucker named Bertha will be stuck with us.

Wait, are you saying your luck is that bad, or that good?

 
 

Oh sure, absolutley, I just think the number is probably small enough that one could fairly easily research their actual thinking rather than broadly basing welfare policy on his evidence-free fever dream notion that OMG all the poor people are buying schmancy TVs therefore they don’t need money.

The “welfare flat screen TV” has replaced the “welfare Cadillac” in their mythology.

 
 

Wait, are you saying your luck is that bad, or that good?

Depends if she’s a long-haul trucker, if you know what I mean…

 
 

That had to be a grueling assignment.

It wasn’t too bad. Mostly tedious.

About once a month or so you’d spend a week in the alert facility. Imagine a college dorm except underground.

Once in a while they’d have an exercise and sound the klaxon and we’d run out to the planes and start the engines just like in the movies.

 
 

then there’s the racist xenophone.

not to be confused with the slide xenophone used in experimental jazz combos

 
Rusty Shackleford
 

Tedium can be the gruellingest of all.

 
 

Let me add my thanks to the Major as well.

I only have one question:
Did you have to hand crank the engines on the B-52s or did they have the newer ones with electric starters?

 
 

About once a month or so you’d spend a week in the alert facility. Imagine a college dorm except underground.

Less beer as well, I’d assume.

Sorry, I’d personally prefer to be as far away from a nuke as possible, whether or not it’s going off, armed, or just sitting there. Not to mention being a few thousand feet in the air with a bunch of ’em, being unable to walk briskly away should anything (god help us) go wrong.

 
 

Hey Ted,

On TDS last night Tom Friedman tried to say he ‘was wrong about Iraq’ and ‘over-reacted’ like ‘the rest of America’. I wish some sort of micro-expression expert would watch that interview, because I kind of got the impression that was telling the truth (as best he’s able). http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/tue-december-1-2009/thomas-friedman

 
 

Did you have to hand crank the engines on the B-52s or did they have the newer ones with electric starters?

They were normally started with an external air cart. They would hook up what looked like a large vacuum cleaner hose to the engine and the machine would deliver high pressure air to spin the engine.

Since this took a little while, on alert we actually did “cartridge starts”. The engine would be started by a (slow burning) explosive cartridge. All you had to do was hit a switch in the cockpit.

It made a ton of smoke when all the alert birds did cartridge starts at the same time.

 
 

Stercorem pro cerebro habes

not sure “pro” can be literally translated that way; perhaps better to say tuum cerebrum ex stercore factum est or cerebrum stercorosum habes

 
 

Almost halfway to another marathon, 4-figure thread here, Sadlies. Keep it up (VPR)!

 
 

On TDS last night Tom Friedman tried to say he ‘was wrong about Iraq’ and ‘over-reacted’ like ‘the rest of America’. I wish some sort of micro-expression expert would watch that interview, because I kind of got the impression that was telling the truth (as best he’s able).

When someone is that wrong, there are only two conclusions you can draw: they’re either a liar enough to say it, or a moron enough to believe it.

So, Tom Friedman: Liar or moron. You decide.

 
 

Liar or moron. You decide

We never had to choose with Dubya.

 
 

I kind of got the impression that was telling the truth

He might have been telling the truth last night, but he’s sure as hell lying in his column about what he was saying back in 2003.

 
 

“So, Tom Friedman: Liar or moron. You decide.”

When he said “like the rest of America,” he proved he was a liar. Anyone as well-connected as Friedman had to know that there were many of us who did not fall in line behind W.

 
 

For more of Friedman’s bullshit, see Greenwald.

 
Victor Davis Hanson
 

Anyone as well-connected as Friedman had to know that there were many of us who did not fall in line behind W.

Anyone with a TV has to know it. I remember the anti-war protests like they were yesterday. Granted, no one was advocating violent revolution, but the people were still pretty pissed off.

 
 

DAMMIT! Again with the nym fail.

 
 

For more of Friedman’s bullshit, see Greenwald Friedman.

ftz’d

 
 

FYWP

should be:

For more of Friedman’s bullshit, see Greenwald Friedman.

 
 

Since this took a little while, on alert we actually did “cartridge starts”. The engine would be started by a (slow burning) explosive cartridge.

Wow. Um.

Um.

Explosives. And nukes.

Um.

 
 

So, Tom Friedman: Liar or moron. You decide.

False dichotomy.

 
 

Explosives. And nukes.

Yeah, but at least the smoke was really toxic.

 
 

Dug out my old B-52 flight manual and found this little gem:

Warning –

Simultaneous cartridge starts of QUICK START configured aircraft can produce toxic gases in sufficient concentration to be hazardous to individuals who remain in the immediate vicinity of the aircraft. The potential hazard is dependent on aircraft parking configuration, wind velocity and direction, and other ambient conditions. Ground crewmembers and security police who are required to remain in a toxic cloud will wear proper eye and respiratory protection.

 
 

OT, but in that Randian Utopia, it seems that the pirates have set up their own bourse where you can invest your retirement funds.

Piracy investor Sahra Ibrahim, a 22-year-old divorcee, was lined up with others waiting for her cut of a ransom pay-out after one of the gangs freed a Spanish tuna fishing vessel.

“I am waiting for my share after I contributed a rocket-propelled grenade for the operation,” she said, adding that she got the weapon from her ex-husband in alimony.

Seems like a great rate of return!

 
 

False dichotomy.

I’m gonna come down on this with a ton of fucking bricks. Ready, tiger?

In 2002-2003, it was well known to everyone who cared to pay attention, that the 911 attackers were mostly Saudi nationals operating out of Afghanistan. We even invaded Afghanistan to “drain the swamp.”

After failing to catch OBL, Bush then began without any evidence whatsoever connecting Saddam Hussein, who was in a different Middle Easteron Country than either Saudi Arabia or Afghanistan, to the 911 attacks. Weapons inspectors were sent in and they found nothing, but were of course pressed for time by the faked up urgency of the Bush administration’s drive to war.

I repeat, anyone who was intelligent and honest at that time was able to see through the slough of garbage being dished out by the media and Republican establishments. I did. I kept asking myself why we were attacking Iraq when the attackers came from elsewhere. I kept asking why Colin Powell would have gone in front of the UN with a fucking vial of salt and some digital mockups of trailers to frighten the wits out of the entire world with scary predictions of biowarfare. I kept asking where the real Anthrax killer was. I kept wondering why simply massing a force near enough to Iraq would not be a deterrent to such an attack. I kept wondering why the fucking rush.

Other intelligent people wondered this as well. However, there were some very intelligent people who knew very well that this was a sham and a fraud and chose to repeat it anyway because they were liars and frauds. The case for the Iraqi war was so paper-thin that only a fucking buffoon with zero critical thinking skills and a dick for a brain stem would not recognize that it was all a giant mocked-up pretext for Bush’s personal agenda.

So I repeat: liar, or moron.

 
 

Well whatever, I’m done here for now.

*takes a drag on a cigarette*

Was it good for you?

 
 

Slippy – What scares me the most about that time was just easy it was for them to lead most of the American public down the path to the Iraq invasion. It was like watching a train wreck in slow motion.

 
 

it seems that the pirates have set up their own bourse

Brilliant, thank you for this gem.

 
Trucker Bertha, in the Elevator, with the Wrench
 

yea, but with my luck, some trucker named Bertha will be stuck with us.

Look, I’m not too thrilled to see you here, either.

 
 

Slippy: the dichotomy is false because, as history amply demonstrates, Friedman was both a liar and a moron.

 
 

“So I repeat: liar, or moron”

With penis issues.

 
 

Also, I won’t stand by people slandering Greenwald. It’s quite possible to have disagreements over policy without one party being a shill or a Communist lunatic (c.f. NY-23), and on the balance I’d generally prefer the ideological company of people who understood that Iraq was an intractible meat-grinder before the DNC.

Also.

 
 

You coming down on me, slippy? Because I fully agree with you that among those who argued for the Iraq invasion there were some highly dishonest people, and that there were also people who were so painfully dumb it’s a miracle they don’t drown every time they take a drink, I just think, having read some of Friedman’s work, it’s quite possible he fits in both groups.

 
 

Also Sadam and Bin Laden were enemies also.

 
 

The problem with the dichotomy is that moron is not quite the right word for someone as well-educated and well-travelled as Friedman. Might I suggest “asshole?”

 
 

“I am waiting for my share after I contributed a rocket-propelled grenade for the operation,” she said, adding that she got the weapon from her ex-husband in alimony.

22 years old, divorced, rocket propelled grenade…I think Tiger Woods got off lucky with just a four iron to the head!

 
 

Hey ladies!

“The basic problem with my love relationships with women is that my standards are so high — and they apply equally to both of us. I seek full-blast mutual intensity, fully fledged mutual acceptance, full-blown mutual flourishing, and fully felt peace and joy with each other. This requires a level of physical attraction, personal adoration, and moral admiration that is hard to find. And it shares a depth of trust and openness for a genuine soul-sharing with a mutual respect for a calling to each other and to others. Does such a woman exist for me? Only God knows and I eagerly await this divine unfolding. Like Heathcliff and Catherine’s relationship in Emily Bronte’s remarkable novel Wuthering Heights or Franz Schubert’s tempestuous piano Sonata No. 21 in B flat (D.960) I will not let life or death stand in the way of this sublime and funky love that I crave!”

 
 

moron is not quite the right word for someone as well-educated and well-travelled as Friedman

Friedman is just dumb, educated stupid, and evil. To quote a great thinker.

 
 

Other intelligent people wondered this as well.

Sadly, that accounts for about 20% of us, if poll numbers from 2003 are to be trusted.

I thought Afghanistan was (stress: was) the right war to be fighting. I’m of less a mind now, but Iraq was and is just flat out wrong.

 
 

it seems that the pirates have set up their own bourse

This is new? Shit, the Pirates have had their own market set up for ages. It’s called “Wall Street”.

 
 

Hey ladies!

I love Cornel West. I thought he was particularly good in the Matrix trilogy.

But he is a bit of a doushay.

 
 

I’m disappointed someone used an Achewood handle to troll.

Hella disappointed chochachos.

 
 

Also Sadam and Bin Laden were enemies also.

In a way, the aims of the Administration were achieved by forcing the discussion to be about justification for the conflict: the primary aim wasn’t to make some kind of glorious smash-and-grab happen, or to produce a moment of transcendent victory for Bush, but instead to produce a general pretense for the defense industry to suck over a trillion dollars a year out of the treasury. That the top officiants in the war were heavy defense/oil/contracting investors and past executives wasn’t exactly a secret.

The war, now that it was started, had to continue forever – and the longer the war continues, the longer Blackwater-cum-XE and the many pals of Bechtel and Halliburton could catch the money we threw at it. It was like they got to do that thing where they cut the budget surplus out of the tax receipts every year for over a decade, and it’s not as if Americans would object – as if they ever did! – about less than half of the cash thrown at the war actually benefitting the rank and file or even appreciably changing the course of the conflict. The only time it even came close to being a problem was when the Pentagon logic – solve real problems with accountants’ sorcery, then lie the money you “save” into a black hole – was transferred over to peripheral agencies with more public oversight.

And when’s the last time you heard someone getting outraged about park rangers buying infrared goggles with money originally earmarked for New York and Boston?

 
 

I thought he was particularly good in the Matrix trilogy.

I thought he was only in the two that sucked.

 
 

And when’s the last time you heard someone getting outraged about park rangers buying infrared goggles with money originally earmarked for New York and Boston?

We don’t want to find ourselves in a goggle-gap when it comes to smarter-than-the-average bears. Them’s Colbert’s number one Threat Down!

 
 

I thought he was only in the two that sucked.

He was. He made them suck slightly less.

 
 

The “welfare flat screen TV” has replaced the “welfare Cadillac” in their mythology.

This is what they’ve managed to accomplish over the past 30 years. 30 years ago no one got outraged over a poor person driving a shitty old car…only if they had a fancy new one. These days, they’re expected to have no car at all, and it’s an outrage if they have a modern television. Or food. Also.

 
 

moron is not quite the right word

Moran then?

But seriously, let’s not get huffed about whether Friedman is a 9 or 10 on the dickhead scale.

He does have a talent for making ignorant people feel smart, and I think he dupes himself into thinking he’s smart because he has this talent. And he’s obviously encouraged by other glue-huffers to believe this about himself. But he’s basically Doughbob with a different style of face mullet, richer in-laws, a longer rolodex and a few more best-sellers on his resume. Einstein he ain’t.

 
 

moron is not quite the right word

How about “willfully ignorant”?

 
 

The case for the Iraqi war was so paper-thin that only a fucking buffoon with zero critical thinking skills and a dick for a brain stem would not recognize that it was all a giant mocked-up pretext for Bush’s personal agenda.

Tis true. But I do have to give a pass to many in the great unwashed out there, given that they were presented with no skepticism on the part of those whom they relied upon for information. If, for example, anyone had been allowed on the teevee to observe, quite rationally, that when you’re throwing out scenarios like how the evil man in Iraq might try to fly remote-controlled model airplanes over a country 6,000 miles away to spray anthrax over the homes of the good citizens of said country…if that’s the best you can come up with to sell your case, you don’t have a case – you have an Austin Powers plotline.

 
 

But seriously, let’s not get huffed about whether Friedman is a 9 or 10 on the dickhead scale.

I think Friedman is benign.

He be ten if he publishes another stupid book.

 
 

“Hey ladies!”

I swear when I read that passage, it was from the mouth of Limbaugh. Then, sure enough, West is engaged for the fourth time, just like Limbaugh!

 
 

When K-Lo scolds you for going overboard with Obama-bashing (update at bottom), you’ve hit a milestone.

Yeesh.

 
 

given that they were presented with no skepticism on the part of those whom they relied upon for information

MSNBC effectively banned Jesse Ventura from the TeeVee in 2003 for opposing the war.

 
 

actor212 – and that’s after they cancelled their top-rated show and demoted Ashleigh Banfield.

 
 

there were some very intelligent people who knew very well that this was a sham and a fraud and chose to repeat it anyway because they were liars and frauds knew if they could get enough Americans to swallow their tinsel-coated turd, it’d wind up making a serious shitload of moolah for their rich oil/defense buddies … & they were right

Thomas “Magic Moustache” Friedman was a knowing liar on Iraq, & still is one with “we all did” (& many more whoppers of its kind) … & if he seriously thinks anyone’s going to be impressed with his mea culpa now, he’s also a full-blown moron.

Unfortunately, he’s a very useful & articulate moron, who says what certain rich scum want to hear = talking-head sinecures on The Pundit Circuit (aka The Eternal Beltway Circle-Jerk) for life (or until someone with a grudge YouTubes that regrettable incident with the oiled-down rubber sheet, the Boy Scouts & the ferrets, whichever comes first).

 
 

justme said,
December 2, 2009 at 20:55

yes, but she probably took offense to the implication that the troops were treasonous to the Usurper In Chief than Obama was welcome there as C-i-C.

 
 

To be fair, the Iraqis could have attacked us with one of their 10 flyable aircraft they had on any given day in 2003.

Assuming of course that they made it through the no-fly zones and stopped to refuel in just about every country between here and Iraq.

 
 

actor212 – and that’s after they cancelled their top-rated show and demoted Ashleigh Banfield.

She was teh hawt. And yea, I remember the flack over that.

Funny how opposing a war president now isn’t treasonous…

They also cancelled Buchanan & Press, both of whom opposed the war.

Oddly, Michael Savage was also cancelled.

But my YouTube videos had higher ratings than MSNBC’s prime time line up…

 
 

Thomas “Magic Moustache” Friedman was a knowing liar on Iraq, & still is one with “we all did” (& many more whoppers of its kind)…

Given that Friedman went way out on that pro-war limb in large part because he was attacking the people who were anti-war and ultimately proven to be right, the continuing lie about “we all did” is both spectacularly stupid and galling.

In light of this, I have to go with both “liar” AND “moron”.

 
 

Funny how opposing a war president now isn’t treasonous…

Well, JEEZ.

He can’t be a REAL Wah Preznit, being all treasonous Democratty and liberal and stuff.

 
 

(Skipping a large chunk of this comment thread, but …)

O/T … the NYS senate is close to a vote on letting teh gheys marry. The Assembly has already approved, the guv will sign, so this vote is the only hurdle.

Suck it, bigots.

 
 

Let’s not bicker and argue over who killed who, but a “moron” is one who doesn’t know that he is spouting bullshit. Here is a moron:

“And the first two idiots commenting can’t help but continue the insane hatred. I’d venture to say that neither of them know that Bill Ayers wrote Dreams of my Father (google it, one of Obama’s friends fessed up in a tell all book) and that Obama’s writing skills have been found to be at a 9th grade level (for anything that can be found that he actually wrote). You people are obsessed with the wrong thing. She didn’t run for President. However, I hope she does in 2012 because she will win and it would give me great pleasure to listen to you pin heads for 8 years while she gets this country out of debt and back to where it should be.
BY MotherRedDog on 12/01/2009 at 19:15”

From “The Hill”

Friedman, on the other hand, knows better but pretends otherwise. He is an asshole.

 
 

actor212 said,

December 2, 2009 at 21:04

Perhaps, but Tweety is still an incredible turdwhistle.

RE: Teh NY ghey, also no initiative ballot bullshit a la CA and ME. Once signed, it’s law.

 
 

Laym,

True, but it’s ten votes short.

And there are ten more Democrats, but at least one has come out dead opposed to the bill (Diaz, a preacher)

And one other is Jose Serrano, one of the two who abandoned the Dems to give the leadership to the Republicans earlier this session. Monserrate, the other insurgent, might vote for it simply because he’s also endorsed by Working Families, which strongly supports the bill, but no guarantees there. Remember, he just ducked a felony conviction in a domestic violence case.

 
 

From “The Hill”

Is she referring to Sarah “I took $150K from the RNC for dresses and I’m not giving it back” Palin as a budget balancer????

*snark*

 
 

Sarah “I’m finding my niche” Palin?

 
 

Sarah “I’m finding my niche” Palin?

(ref: the link)

I’m going to stay out of the gutter with regards to her “niche”…

 
 

I’m going to stay out of the gutter with regards to her “niche”…

Are you saying she’s a 7-10 split?

 
 

Are you saying she’s a 7-10 split?

More like a four-bagger….five if I can tack one up to the headboard.

 
Whale Chowder (nee OneMan)
 

I wouldn’t call her prose “spare.”

 
 

Thomas Friedman, moron. AND asshole AND liar, but we are not talking Pundit O’Genius here.

 
 

Fuckin’ bigots.

This state’s legislature is worth than useless, it’s self-serving, corrupt, and worst of all, whiney.

 
 

Further stops for Palin:

National TV Tray Manufacturing Association
Hairdressing Association of America’s Advanced Mullet Workshop
Friends of Hamburger Helper Society

 
 

Sarah Palin and bowling, it fits. You know, pinheads.

 
 

Laym, this is the same state that elected George Pataki three times and Al D’Amato four times.

This is a blue state solely because of the city, Cornell U and it’s immediate environs, and parts of Buffalo. Anytime you give the red sections equal footing, NYS is redder than Ala-fucking-bama.

 
 

Further stops for Palin:

Speedy Oil Change Trainers Convention
Pallet Staplers Guild Square Dance
SaniCan Workers Picnic
String It! Beaders Gatherama (Orlando)
The Hoarders Gathering

 
 

Further stops for Palin:

Omaha Chicken Dance Booster Club
Coastal Infotainment Club
Cupstacking Champions Leage

 
 

Or “league”. Also. And such as.

 
 

Further stops for Palin:

Snap-on Tools Training Seminar
Spokane Ladies’ Auxiliary
Calumet Lilac Boosters
Peoria 4H
Midwest Secrets Social Club

 
 

Keno4Kids Annual Kenothon 4 The Cure

 
 

Evil Geniuses for a Better Tomorrow
Paducah Kentucky Boy Scout Troop 5529
Las Vegas NV local 529 Celebrity Impersonaters guild
American Philately Convention
Sons of the Spanish American War
Families of Psoriasis Sufferers support group
Yoknapatwpha County Clown College Deptarment of Ballistics

 
 

Let us not forget the American Milk Solids Council, the Venerable Association of Christian Americans of Sandpoint, Idaho, and the Russian Orthodox Church Outside Of Russia headquarters in Stump Lick, OK.

 
 

American Philately Convention

Oh no, she would never go there! It’s too immoral!

 
 

Keno4Kids Annual Kenothon 4 The Cure

‘The Cure’ here meaning the cure for Gay and also noted proto-emo group The Cure, believed by many eminent Real American authorities to be responsible for it.

 
 

“American Philately Convention

Oh no, she would never go there! It’s too immoral”

But so many of her male supporters will be there in hopeful anticipation!

 
 

Palin has also declared an interest in speaking at the National Down Syndrome Society, and will even waive a quarter of her normal $500,000 fee if they agree to name Trig Palin president-for-life and herself, quote, “tard regent”.

 
 

The American-Turkish Gemological Institute
Jackson Hole Historical Society
Barbara Fritchie Society
Republic Pictures Veterans Credit Union
Rue McClanahan Look Alike Parade.

 
 

Sheboygan Surf Club
Paducah, KY Toastmasters’ Club
Discovery Institute Evolution Research Department
Lead Mining Historical Society, Mount Horeb, WI
Sonora Desert Ski Club
Stigmata Society of America

 
 

Hemingway Look-Alike Contest
Lithopolis Honeyfest Day
Good Sense Odor Neutralizer & Air Freshener Summer Festival
Ishpeming Art Faire and Renaissance Festival
18th Annual Jarts Tournament
Burton-On-Teas Farting Competition

 
 

Discovery Institute Evolution Research Department

Evolution? Palin? Unpossible!

 
 

The Cavendish, Vermont Cheddar Cheese Cutting Festival
The Knotting of the Pines, Big Piney, Wyoming
Calumet Tri-Annual Blues Brothers Impersonation-athon
The Dexter Milk Cow Tug and Pull-ooza
The Kenosha Under-18 Bar Crawl
Oden’s (Ark.) Big Phone Book Give-away

 
 

The IHOP Southeastern Region BiAnnual Yak’n’Stak

 
 

13th Annual Michigan Dairy Expo
National Frog Jumping Tournament
Picnic Day Cow Milking Contest
Beaver, OK Cow Chip Tossing Competition
Brooklyn Urban Golf Tournament
Kilkenny State Prison Homecoming Festival

 
 

I think a new JanusNode script is called for here.

 
Cassandra R.B. Kazenzakis
 

I feel honored to have been nymjacked. Truly.

 
 

the Hackensack, bottle neck, over pack the roof rack, headding for the smoke shack championship tournament of Baccarat with John “Bugsy” Lawler

 
 

I think a new JanusNode script is called for here.

Damn, that’s true. The danger is that it may accidentally generate something tasteful.

 
 

Disneyland Ex-Employee Appreciation Day (Costumes Mandatory)

 
 

Nibbler, OK Beer Swilling Day
The Festival of That Guy, You Know, The Guy Who Used To Come Around With A Chicken In His Pocket, Remember Him?
Perry, TX Sesquicentennial Pig And Barley Corn Celebration
the dedication of National Aggravated Throat-Clearing Week

 
 

Yoknapatwpha County Clown College Deptarment of Ballistics

Go Down, Bozo

When the spray from the seltzer bottle appeared down my pants it was between seven and eight o’ clock and then I was in time again, hearing the outrageously oversized watch on my wrist. It was Blinko’s and when Aunt Boppy O’Botomus gave it to me with a scarf and a flourish and and a boquet of plastic flowers she said I give you the big shoes of all hope and desire; it’s rather excruciatingly apt you will use it to fit your individual needs as into a very tiny car packed in close with the jumbled embodiment of the reducto absurdum of all human experience.

 
 

Athol Elementary 4th Grade Science Fair and Cupcake Festival
Local 204 Typewriter Repairmen Annual “Type for Type II” Fundraiser
Springfield Area Subway Putt-Putt Jamboree
Texarkana Gun-fishing Tournament and Fish Fry
The Moth Society’s Annual Bright Lights Gathering

 
 

the Ring of Kari Sour Cherry Logan Berry Spanish Sherry Low Fat Dairy Bloody Mary Ben & Jerry Confectionery Eat Drink and Be Very Very Merry

 
 

Eagle Nest Lake Worm Eating Contest
Kapiti Coast District Truffle Sniffing Convention
Holy Cross Leaf Raking & Cotillion
Konop, Connecticut Debutante Ball
Lake Cumberland State Dock Poker Run
Lake Ocochobee Snipe Hunt
Deer Lick Cow Tipping Relay

 
 

I think I love Shell:

Did I mention the fine fine Polish wodka? Yes.

I hope it’s Zubrowka!

Seriously, what IS too damned much, and how can I tell when I have FINALLY got there??

Too damned much is “unable to stand” and “when I have FINALLY got there” is when the bottle is empty.

 
 

The Festival of That Guy, You Know, The Guy Who Used To Come Around With A Chicken In His Pocket, Remember Him?

Athol Elementary 4th Grade Science Fair and Cupcake Festival

The judges declare a TIE FTW

 
 

Hey, judges, how about some love for Click ‘n Clack?

 
 

Missy Jean’s Fifth Birthday Scavenger Hunt
Porkapalooza Invitational Cookout & Music Festival (true event, I swear!)
Nordic Skiing Association of Anchorage
Bridgewater’s Backyard Bash
Society for the “Preservation and “Encouragement of”Barber Shop Quartet Singing in America.”Inc. Plenary Session
Society for the Preservation of Robert’s Rules of Order Free-For-All

 
 

Hey, judges, how about some love for Click ‘n Clack?

The Car Talk guys were declared ineligible for this competition.

Which Sarah Palin will be judging next year on her extended book tour…

 
 

The Boise Bumper Pool Big Blow-Out of Bargains

 
 

The Car Talk guys were declared ineligible for this competition.

What? The check didn’t clear?

 
 

The Hatfield-McCoy Quilting Bee and Gun Swap
Dockers Pants Inspectors 43-209 Annual Appreciation Day Coffee Break
Hoosiers for Hosers (Indiana-Canada Friendship Society)
Twin Peaks “Nip for the Nipples” Hard Ciderfest
The Plutonium Society’s Gamma Ray Day

 
 

What? The check didn’t clear?

They’re considered profess–*ring*…excuse me a sec

Hullo?

Oh, it did? Finally?

*click*

OK, they’re in!

 
 

By the way, I just have to say, this has been one of the most epically awesome threads here in ages, notwithstanding the occasional troll outbreak.

 
 

The Inland Apple Growers Co-operative Conference on Cobbler Purity

 
 

The Snowball Wars of the 1888 Blizzard Re-Enactors Guild
First Lutheran Church of Toluca Lake Jello Pot Luck Supper
Ernie Anastos Charity Chicken Plucking…I said “Plucking” Tournament
Last Annual Senior Skeet-Golf Shotgun Tourney
Bethesda Naval Base Underwater Wheelchair Basketball-A-Thon

 
 

Yea, it ain’t often you get Faulkner references on Sadly, No!

 
 

600th!

 
 

The Sadly, No Weekly Zombie Thread Coven Meeting

 
 

Athanaeus County Charity Chicken Plucking Day
Priscillia, AK “Death To The Guys In Lebanon OK” Day
Monstwanoota Salmon Carving Festival
Bunger County Mass Evacuation Day
Silenhippus River Floating of the Styrofoam Festival

 
 

Ernie Anastos Charity Chicken Plucking…I said “Plucking” Tournament

Athanaeus County Charity Chicken Plucking Day

Holy shit, actor, you really, really scare me sometimes.

 
 

This thread should be burned into a special gold DVD and attached to the next deep-space probe as an example of the heights western civilization had reached just before the collapse.

Yes, I said “probe.”

 
 

Porkapalooza Invitational Cookout & Music Festival (true event, I swear!)

Sponsored by 3 Bulls, no doubt.

The Sadly, No Weekly Zombie Thread Coven Meeting

never see YOU there, actor.

 
 

Kimmswick Apple Butter Festival
Yak Butter Sculpture Exhibit in Okemo, Vermont
Wapwollapen Turtle Soup Tasting
Boar Tush, Alabama Furniture Polish Expo
Middle Wallop Nursing Home Bikini Car Wash
National Museum of Dentistry’s Denture Adhesive Symposium

 
 

Ernie Anastos Charity Chicken Plucking…I said “Plucking” Tournament

Athanaeus County Charity Chicken Plucking Day

Holy shit, actor, you really, really scare me sometimes.

I was too terrified to point it out.

 
 

Fifth Annual “A Clear Nose Is A Happy Nose” Day
Alhambra Town Bunyip Festival
Mount Holyoke Let’s Call In To Work Sick And Spend The Day Watching Lifetime Ha Ha They’ll Never Catch On At The Home Office Jamboree

 
 

the Milwaukee Fonzie Impersonator Beer-Fart Smell-O-Rama and Swap meet.

 
 

The Sadly, No Weekly Zombie Thread Coven Meeting

never see YOU there, actor.

I’m the branes behind the outfit.

 
 

Tuscaloosa Humane Society Dognose Wetness Judging Contest

 
 

Ft. Wayne Tire Burning Festival and Smokeout
Peabody Women’s Auxiliary Candlefest and Carwash
The Lawn Tractor 400 (Emmitville, GA, 3-day event)
Vernon, Vt. Annual PeeWee Hockey Puckfest and Delousing

 
Cassandra R.B. Kazenzakis
 

The Butler PA Root-Vegetables-Shaped-Like-1970s-Sitcom-Actors festival.

Featuring last year’s winner, Rutabaga Louise Lasser.

Special Appearance by Smilin’ Jurgen Prochnow’s Fun Time Polka Kings.

 
 

Danielle Bydecker Memorial Neti Pot-a-thon
Clapton, MT Raising Of The Middle Finger And Pork Frying Festival
The Day Of The Spoon

 
 

Mott & Hoople, ND David Bowie Impersonators
Lousiville, KY One Hand Clapathon
Feely, MT Barber College Manicure-athon

 
 

Oh good lord…how could we forget?

Springfield Whacking Day!

 
 

Tri-State Three-Legged Race for Three-Legged Dogs Festival

 
 

I see you’ve all failed to note the appearance at the North American Moose Burger Lover’s Association…

…or NAMBLA for short.

Also.

 
 

Scratch Ankle Alabama Reader’s Digest Condensed Books Burnathon

 
 

Tri-Cities “Dismount for Love” (Catholic Charities) Hop-a-thon
The Temperature Guild’s “Celsius Awareness Day.”

 
 

The Townhall Fap-a-bration

 
 

The Beetown Car Rust Tasting and Pub Crawl.

 
 

Truth or Consequences, New Mexico “Never too late for Love” Elder Citizens day

 
 

Toad Suck Arkansas Stop Making Fun Of Us Day

 
 

Truckasaurus Fanboy Assn.
Comicbook Con (eat it McG!)
Paula Deen Meat and Grease
Kentucky Tongues and Rapture Festival

 
 

Dothan Alabama Snake Handling Hoe-Down

 
 

Baptismal Bikini Fashion Show

 
 

And…uh…really. No props for NAMBLA?

Tough crowd…

 
 

Festoon a Gnome with Bacon Rind Day.
At Aldgate there’s an exhibition of Chicken Trembling given by the Ladbroke Grove Buddhist Girl Ppiers. At Chiswick Baths there’s the washroom attendants’ annual flannel dance and zabaglione show. There’s Barrister Nudging at Kew and the two man inter-Rabbi bob sled championships will be held as usual down the escalators at Leicester Square tube station — weather and platform tickets permitting. But I myself will head for the Muffin Mongers Hall, Cheapside, where the over eighties Nudist Glee Club are holding their Bring and Buy Sale.

 
 

Suburban Phoenix Shopping Cart Exposition and Demolition Derby

 
 

At Aldgate there’s an exhibition of

FOREIGN STUFF THAT NO REAL AMERICAN LIKE SARAH PALIN WOULD EVEN SPIT ON.

 
 

The First Annual Meredith Baxter Birney Invitational Elevator Ride.

 
 

The First Annual Meredith Baxter Birney Invitational Elevator Ride.

I am no longer interested in participating in this event.

 
 

Sweetlips Tennessee Kissing Booth Avoidance Event and Ointmentarium

 
 

The Mercury Association’s Annual Liver Supper

 
 

The First Annual Meredith Baxter Birney Invitational Elevator Ride

Elevator rides may not end well.

 
 

You’re REALLY raining on actor’s parade, MB.

 
 

Norman Oklahoma’s Nothing But Nog Week

 
 

Mickey Kaus’ Goat Blowing, Roping, and Roasting Extravaganza

 
 

The Beaverton Heritage Museum’s Creepy Old Doll Daze

 
 

Bent Nail, Arizona’s “Flush Out The Illegals” Four-Wheeler Sand Machine Rally & Concours d’Elegance, also.

 
 

“Pioneer Days/Week,” anywhere in AmeriKKKa

 
 

You people. Weird.
Bonus Round the Horne script:

On Tuesday there’ll be a display of Old Tyme Frog Bottling in the round at the Wimpole Street Porridge Bar. There’s International free style gnome fingering at the five minute Hippo Wash Brompton Oratory and chip fumbling in the great vat of St Paul’s. On Thursday the Over Eighties Nudist Basketball Team are playing an exhibition match against the Harlem Globetrotters.

 
 

The Greater Dickeyville Bolt-Threading Exhibition
Upper Peninsula Ernest Movie Marathon
Waunakee Pimple Days!

 
 

Bonus Bonus Round the Horne:

There’s Massed Goat Pandering at the Royal Nobblers Institute. Knock a Rabbi out of bed at Battersea fun fair in aid of the Stuffed Mouse for Thailand fund., Hip Throbbing at Whipsnade, Finger Bogling at the Spotted Dick Memorial Hall, Hammersmith and an exhibition of Gnome Clenching in the corset department of Sparkslew and Towser, chiropodists by appointment to ex-queen Marie of Rumania — Clapham. But I myself will make a beeline for the Master Capenters Knot Hole of the Year contest which will be held in the saloon bar of the Orang-Utan’s Arms, Stoke Poges.

 
 

Three cheers for the Sadlynaughts. My jaw hurts with laughter. May your threads be long and your wits stay sharp. Hip Hip Hooray!

 
 

AFLAC presents The Jaques Chirac traveling Aquatic Chataqua at Mackinac Island
The Greater Lexington and Concord Jaycees First Annual reenactment of the Battle of El Alamein
Happy Hour at Zorba’s Chicken Shack in Punxatawney PA
U.S. southeast district Ferret Legging regional Championship, BUgtussle, Kentucky
Monsters of Folk world tour kickoff at the Turkey Tavern in Portage WI
“The Wonderful World of Morris Dancing” at the Gay Bar in Gay, MI

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

The Seventh Annual Alicia Colon Eroticon at the South Baraboo Convention Center

 
 

Intro to Bog Snorkling, American Legion Post 496 Ronkonkoma NY
“A Tri county sentence ending prepositional phrase to celebrate a jamboree with” San Bernadino CA
“Masters of the Banjo Sonata” Redmond Washington Communtiy Technical College
“The Peppermint flavored Bugundy and you” home viniculture symposium Branson MO

 
 

Bohoke, Arkansas Victor Davis Hansen Frothing at the Mouth day.
Pinder, OK, Wrassle a Weasel Down Your Best Friend’s Trousers Day
Gary, Ruppert, Biggest Booger day
Plinth, SD, Guess What’s in My Mouth Day

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Esoteric Order of Dagon Snowflake Baby Cookoff and Swim Meet, Innsmouth, MA

 
 

“Yothrick Dondarion Sings the Oldies” Beth El Synagogue Clearwater Florida. Reception to follow
The Beverly Hills Plastic Surgery Association’s Liposuctionathon and Soap making exhibition
N. Buonaparte’s “introduction to practical Russian for the invading conqueror or retreating refugee” Paris TX Community Senior center.
US Army Corps of Engineers Manhattan Engineer District (Wall Street) Hog calling contest
“Bobbing for eggplant” with the Poynette WI High School Men’s JV Curling team
The Waco TX Rotary Club Jazz and Drama Committee’s Christmas Concert “180 years of Capital Punishment in Texas: A Festival in Lights”

 
 

Gary, IN “What the fuck is that I smell” Day
Steinbeck County Orange Marmelade Swim-a-thon
East Loopner, WA Brick Festival and Chowder Cook-off
Malbeck, SC Be Relatively Nice To A Homosexual For A Change Day
Kenoteparthopelokowakia Pronunciation Day
Dey’s Baize Beys Daze Daze Days

 
 

George W. Bush Memorial Giant Pizza Pie Day: West Virginia (unspecified)
Noxzema Blemish-Free Winners Prom 2009: Hunt Valley, MD
Diversity Surge (formerly Gay Shame Parade): Bagdad, AZ
Maytag-Gladiator-Whirlpool Hog & Turkey Race: Newton, IA
National Hide-And-Go-Seek Intramurals (keynote): Playas, NM
Hershey Little-Person Wagon Train Day (right-to-work sidebar): Hershey, PA
Earnheardt Little Difference-Makers Beauty Pageant (formerly Dale Earnheardt™’s Li’l Miss Textile Mill Pageant): Kannapolis, NC
9/11 Truth And Reconciliation Jamboree: Alcoa, TN
Nova Scotia Irredenta Festival-In-Exile: Albany, NY
Successfest!! (formerly The Whipping Of The Fattened Poor): Sugar Land, TX

 
Whale Chowder (nee OneMan)
 

Tri-Cities Nuclear Gargle Days
The Pendleton Wool Shirt Deep Hurt Be Curt Don’t Flirt Roundup
Piney Ridge Chainsaw Stump Sculpting Championships

 
 

The Birmingham College Republican Players Presidential Mothers impersonation contest “ObamaMamaAlabamaDramarama! 2009”

 
 

Slapneck Michigan Pippi Longstocking Reverse-Lookalike Contest
Our Lady of Paradox Intravenous Cephalopod Cotillion (postponed)
Rabbit Hash Kentucky Make-Your-Own-Peripheral-Nervous-System Workshop
P.F. Muttonchop Presents “Spamdango” Featuring the Lugubrious Bell-Ringer Brothers of Panic, Pennsylvania

 
 

Stump Jumping for Chumps: Mountain biking for the uncoordinated, Seymour PA
Laredo TX immigrant Appreciation Mextravaganza!
The Birmingham College Republican Players Presidential Mothers impersonation contest “ObamaMamaAlabamaDramarama! 2009”

 
 

Our Lady of Paradox Intravenous Cephalopod Cotillion (postponed)
Postponed!!!! I shall bring this up with the committee, sir!!!

 
 

Pastor Swank says that Palin’s God can whip Obama’s God’s ass.
http://www.renewamerica.com/columns/swank/091127

“Palin is the antithesis to Obama. Palin represents a biblical way of life. Obama represents a satanic cult.
America is now faced with the choice of Palin or Obama. Of course, in weeks and months to come, someone else may log in to sideline Palin. But at the moment, it is Palin versus Obama.
To say that America is at a crucial fork in the road is to speak in understatement.”

 
 

Young Christian Men’s Bragging Festival: Oklahoma City, OK (formerly Alfred P. Murrah Building Memorial Day)
Theodolite Fever: Catch It!: Appleton, WI
National Prohibition Party Fine Dry-T-Shirts Exhibition: Chinaman’s Knob, NB
Men’s Rights Prayer Chili Breakfast: Spool, OH
Little Eggheads’ Underwear Triathalon: Bangor, ME
The Kentucky Highway Patrol’s Agrarian Entrepreneurs Week (keynote): St. Louis, MO
Real Americans’ Cornhuskin’ Barbecue Jamboree (formerly Triinsula All-Heartland Minstrel-Show): Manhattan, NY

 
 

As my second-to-first entry pointed out, Palin (like noted Aryans and/or supermen Viggo Mortensen and Ben Stein) came from Sandpoint, Idaho, which is locally known as the closest thing to a town in Aryan Nations country. I like to think, in light of this, that she was a failed clone of Hitler.

 
 

Chevy Chase Maryland Western Drama Fan Club’s “Rootin Tootin for Putin!” a celebration of The Wild west in Russian Cinema
North American Steampunk Society: Romanticizing Victioriana, ignoring racism and imperialism but adding Lazers and goggles. Buffalo NY
Roswell NM Alien Conspiracy Obfuscation Club
Bethleham PA emigrants Society
Love Canal NJ Novelty Fish Fry

 
 

Nederland, CO Frozen Dead Guy Days

Oh wait, that an actual event. She wouldn’t be welcome

 
 

One more to go for 666!

 
 

666th!!

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Piney Ridge Chainsaw Stump Sculpting Championships

If Cherie Currie is going to be there, count me in!

 
Big Bad Bald Bastard
 

Yes, THAT Cherie Currie!

 
 

You know, if I weren’t so lazy, I could measure this and the other long threads on S,N! and calculate exactly how long you guys can go without a new post before going crazy. It’s less than 36 hours, I know that much.

Also: Swank’s still playing the Secret Muslin card? That’s so 2006.

 
 

Interfaith Society of Scooby Doo Villains Masked Rubber Ball
Eastham Prison Farm Holiday “Wassail and Battery” Fiesta
Worcester Polytechnic Institute’s “Let’s Get Saucy” Condiment-al Erotica Contest
Guild of Lethargic Strippers Regatta (Salmon, Idaho)

 
 

North American Steampunk Society: Romanticizing Victioriana, ignoring racism and imperialism but adding Lazers and goggles.

Homo Economicus only comes in one race, son.

 
Whale Chowder (nee OneMan)
 

Oh dear, you can always count on Swanky for teh LOLs.

How does he know which imaginary superbeing Barry Hussein Malcom Obama Sotero X really prays to?

…and it really reminds me of those playground “My dad could beat up your dad” arguments.

 
 

Tweaklybeak Wild Turkey Snorters For Christ

 
 

National Cameltoe Inspection Week
First National Carrie Prejean Opposite Mass Wedding
Tiger Woods 18 Hole Invitational

(wow. It took me that long to come up with that????)

 
 

Stinkhole, West Australia “What Are You Looking At!” festival
Upper Aramoho “As a Matter of Fact, They Are My Hubcaps” day
Poole and District Crochet and Rubber Ring day

 
 

Oh wait, she’s not touring Oz too!? Is she?

In that case,

Greater Brisbane Abuse The Wallaby Festival
Outback Walkabout
Sydney Harbor “Sink The Ferry” Fair

 
 

MUCH better than another pun thread.

Martinis all around!

 
 

Pinder, OK, Wrassle a Weasel Down Your Best Friend’s Trousers Day

This is relevant to my interests.

 
 

Noxzema Blemish-Free Winners Prom 2009: Hunt Valley, MD

Canceled. Lack of entrants.

 
 

Toenail Fungus Research Alliance Risotto Festival
Humptulips, WA Jewish Hall Of Fame Athletes Reunion
Yelling Settlement, AL Convention of Men Whose Names Begin With The Letter “Q”
Friends of The Beaver (Leave It To, and get your mind out of the gutter, pigs!)
Great Plains Yodel-con
Burnt Water, AZ Bake-Off
Hellhole Palms, CA Ice Carnival

 
Stately Wayne Manor Open House, A. Pennyworth Presiding, Featuring The Ever-Popular Entertainment "Pin The Cape On The Goddamn Batman If He Doesn't Kick Your Ass First"
 

Justice League of Dubuque
PezCon
The Original PezCon (Not Officially Sanctioned)
Vegemite Lovers United
Hobo Ropers Association
Naturist Ex-Fiances of Knocked-Up Daughters
Ann Althouse, A Box Of Wine, And Ann Althouse’s Cleavage
Cats Who Have Escaped From Cat Ladies Anonymous
Sad Bastards Sex-O-Rama

 
 

Carl the Greenskeeper ImpersonationFest and Lawn Mower Swap (Sheboygan only)
First Annual “Swim for Flotsam” Fun-raiser (Fishkill, NY)
Eugene Krebs Middle School “Be a Molecule Day” Sci-fest and Can Drive (Dayton)

 
 

Fawn Leibowitz Memorial Kiln-a-thon
Senator & Mrs Blutarsky Pub Crawl
Otter Stratton 18 Hole Invitational (OK, I used that last night)
Dean Vernon Wormer Prison Dash
Carmine De Pesto Rummage Sale
Babs Jansen Tupperware Party

 
 

actor, an Animal House theme? tricky!

 
 

actor, an Animal House theme? tricky!

Daniel Day Equine Affaire and Ammo Swap

 
 

Yes, THAT Cherie Currie!

Wow. I haven’t thought about her since Foxes came out. Who knew she had so many talents.

 
 

actor, an Animal House theme? tricky!

Once I had Fawn, the rest came easily.

 
 

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