7
We’ll Put Arthur Branch On The Case Right Away
Amanda Carpenter, who divides her time between struggling with the English language and sniffing out Hillary Clinton scandals, is over at Clown Hall swooning over the latest alleged proof of the perfidy of Hillary Clinton:
Apparently, Hillary is considering using some of her own money to finance her campaign. If she does, I can guarantee there’ll be questions about the millions in foreign money Bill Clinton has racked up in speaking fees that’s [sic] likely stashed in their joint checking account.
Since leaving the White House, Clinton has earned more than $20 million in speaking fees from foreign sources in places like the People’s Republic of China and Dubai, according to her [sic] Senate financial disclosure forms. They also share a joint checking account according to those same forms.
If Hillary uses that foreign money to finance her campaign she will have successfully exploited a loophole in campaign finance rules that forbids [sic] the use of foreign money in U.S. elections.
The campaign finance rules also forbid corporate contributions to campaigns. Does that mean that if I’m paid by a corporation, I can’t contribute to a federal candidate? And is Ms. Carpenter checking to see whether Mitt Romney worked for any foreign clients while at Bain & Company or Bain Capital?
There’s silly, there’s imbecilic and then there’s Amanda.
Hoosier X said,
February 7, 2008 at 7:16
Oh, she’s not any more imbecilic than, say, David Brooks.
For example.
Some Guy said,
February 7, 2008 at 7:21
Wow. That takes some kind of special. Doesn’t that mean that any Corporation with International interests can’t form PACs?
anthony said,
February 7, 2008 at 7:23
Oh that reminds me, I need to ‘stash’ some money in my mortgage saver account.
Hoosier X said,
February 7, 2008 at 7:32
Or, also, for example, Thomas Sowell.
He’s quite imbecilic.
Hoosier X said,
February 7, 2008 at 7:32
Let’s see … who else?
Jennifer said,
February 7, 2008 at 7:44
Not attempting to compete with Amanda’s inanity, but WTF is up with the Bo-Peep dress she’s wearing in that pic?
Paddy Mac said,
February 7, 2008 at 7:49
Hating teh Clintons automatically makes the hater (1) virtuous, (2) factually correct in all respects, and (3) did I mention perfectly virtuous? Also, complaining about Sen. Clinton excuses all fashion vicitmization.
Sheesh. Youse guys have studied wingnuts for years, and yet seem not to know these important truths.
Ian said,
February 7, 2008 at 7:51
She looks completely wasted. She probably thinks she is Bo-Peep
mythago said,
February 7, 2008 at 7:53
How do you “stash” legally-earned money in a joint checking account held in an American bank, exactly? I thought these bozos were all in favor of getting paid to be on the lecture circuit.
sivapith said,
February 7, 2008 at 7:54
Dick Morris was pimping the same line on O’Reilly tonight. I expect we’re going to hear a lot more of this (duh).
Lesley said,
February 7, 2008 at 7:55
They also share a joint checking account according to those same forms.
Scandalous. Have you ever heard of married people depositing legitimate income in a joint account? Next thing you know we’ll be hearing that the Clintons push mattresses together before retiring.
Hollywood ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®©? said,
February 7, 2008 at 8:07
Bo-Peep?
Mo-Sheep?
Linkie finger twitches….
OK SM SAID I COULD DO IT, NOW HEAR IT IS, BEACHES!1one!!
mikey said,
February 7, 2008 at 8:16
Goddam it, I’m jealous.
I want to be knee-jerk hated.
C’mon now. The Clintons were the first family.
I’ve torn up a casino hotel. I once burned down a mid-sized business.
I crippled a guy in Roseville. Dood’s still in a wheelchair.
Once I threw my roommate out a second floor window.
I pissed in the soap dispenser.
Key Riste on a cracker, how do you get to be so knee-jerk universally hated like the Clintons?
mikey
Jennifer said,
February 7, 2008 at 8:18
I pissed in the soap dispenser.
BFD. I pissed in the Pez dispenser.
Smut Clyde said,
February 7, 2008 at 8:26
NO SHEEP ‘TIL HAMMERSMITH!!
Hoosier X said,
February 7, 2008 at 8:31
Thomas Friedman. He’s quite imbecilic.
Suedehead said,
February 7, 2008 at 8:32
Y’know Mikey, if you weren’t so forthright and brutally honest, people might hate you more. Just sayin’
Hoosier X said,
February 7, 2008 at 8:34
I peed in the balcony at the State Theater in Anderson, Ind., one time because the movie was so bad. I can’t think of the name of the movie. It was a Saturday Night Fever rip-off and me and some friends went because we thought it would have titty.
As I recall, it DID have titty, but not very much, and the suckitude was so major we had to pee in the balcony before we left.
Hoosier X said,
February 7, 2008 at 8:35
I never threw anybody out a window.
Jennifer said,
February 7, 2008 at 8:36
I never threw anybody out a window.
But I did spend the night at a Holiday Inn Express.
Suedehead said,
February 7, 2008 at 8:39
I threw-up out of a window at a Holiday Inn Express. I win!
Jennifer said,
February 7, 2008 at 8:43
I threw-up out of a window at a Holiday Inn Express. I win!
Yes, but was it in Reno?
Snorghagen said,
February 7, 2008 at 8:45
Easily, if the bank is under the control of the minions of the perfidious George Soros, who is in turn a puppet of the vast Hugo Chávez / Kim Jong-il / Michael Moore consortium. These sinister forces counter-launder perfectly legal money into illegal booty for reasons that are too convoluted and evil for us to comprehend.
Smut Clyde said,
February 7, 2008 at 8:49
First Googlehit for “Giuliani Associates”. October 14, 2002:
Lesley said,
February 7, 2008 at 8:54
like whores and criminals, teh stupid will always be with us.
Tim (the other one) said,
February 7, 2008 at 9:08
“Yes, but was it in Reno?”
No, that was just to watch him die…
Hoosier X said,
February 7, 2008 at 9:11
I shot at a car once on the way back from Vegas.
Michelle Malkin's Left Testicle said,
February 7, 2008 at 9:33
Jennifer said,
February 7, 2008 at 8:18
I pissed in the soap dispenser.
BFD. I pissed in the Pez dispenser.
Does that make you a Pez-pissing, party-pooping prophylaxis?
Smut Clyde said,
February 7, 2008 at 9:38
Nö sheep at all!!
Maurice said,
February 7, 2008 at 9:40
Hot, though.
Monkay said,
February 7, 2008 at 9:50
I once threw myself out of a window . . . good times . . .
noen said,
February 7, 2008 at 9:57
Crap I can’t keep up with this site. Worse, I don’t have any “I was young and stupid once” stories to tell. Wish I did.
cousin vinnie said,
February 7, 2008 at 9:59
Bill Clinton’s foundation just raked in $31 million as the result of his advocacy of some kind of uranium deal in Kazakstan. I won’t be surprised if some of that money ends up financing Hilary’s campaign….
Troy said,
February 7, 2008 at 10:00
she will have successfully exploited a loophole in campaign finance rules that forbids [sic]
actually, that one by some miracle happens to be OK.
Hoosier X said,
February 7, 2008 at 10:21
I don’t think peeing in the balcony counts as a “young and stupid once” story. You weren’t there, man.
Shooting at the car, yeah, I’ll have to concede that one.
LD said,
February 7, 2008 at 10:39
Why must the Clintons sell out to chinese and other foreigners. Why can’t they be like other candidates, who whore themselves to the business, which is mainly owned by foreigners but for some reason is seen as domestic?
Why?
And how dare they even plan on using their own money for the campaigning? They should follow the long standing political tradition of wasting other peoples money.
Oh, an mikey if you want to be as hated as the clintons, I think getting some political activity and proposing healthcare changes might do the trick. As a guy, you might just get there by simply getting a blowjob from a intern.
Anne Laurie said,
February 7, 2008 at 11:14
Hell, the fReichtards should only ever get a look at the contracts for one of the Carlyle Group member’s speaking engagements, except that would be dam’ difficult to achieve, because those things are written in a strictly “Burn Before Reading” format. During a period of peon-al servitude, I once had to deal with the minutiae of such a contract under which GHWB was going to take an American corporation’s six-figure dollars to help sell the Chinese Communists on the mutual benefits of permitting said corporation to introduce financial
scammingplanning to the masses. Even my humble peripheral contact with this document left me feeling soiled and ashamed; let it be noted that if Lenin really said capitalists would sell communists the rope to hang those same capitalists, he was grossly understating the willingness of capitalists to commit treason, or suicide, in return for the quick buck. (And, of coure, if I’m never heard from after this, it will be because the Secret Service has tracked me down and pulled a Wild Bill Casey.)BJS said,
February 7, 2008 at 11:16
Wait unrelated question – is the Jillian we know and love here at SN! the same woman in the ad at Balloon Juice? Please say yes. Please say yes. Please say yes….
BJS said,
February 7, 2008 at 11:18
Now it’s an ebay ad! (sigh) sometimes I hate the intertoobz
Arglebargle said,
February 7, 2008 at 11:20
Shalom yentlmen!
myiq2xu said,
February 7, 2008 at 12:40
I was young a stupid once a bunch of times.
myiq2xu said,
February 7, 2008 at 12:41
BJS:
You go to Balloon Juice for the ads?
J— said,
February 7, 2008 at 14:00
There’s silly, there’s imbecilic and then there’s Amanda.
And then along comes Stephen Spruiell.
My emphasis.
Southern Beale said,
February 7, 2008 at 14:07
This may be a ridiculous, logic-bending non-story, but that doesn’t mean it won’t get picked up by CNN, NBC, etc.
Xenos said,
February 7, 2008 at 14:13
You go to Balloon Juice for the ads?
What, you go there to discuss Obama?
.
Clif said,
February 7, 2008 at 14:35
Actually it’s not OK. The campaign rules forbid foreign money. Her use of “forbids” would be proper only if it were the loophole that forbids foreign money.
Arky the Blasphemer said,
February 7, 2008 at 14:54
People, people, people. The answer is perfectly simple. GeeDubyaBush wants us to spend money, not let it rot in some bank account. The Clintons should be stimulating the economy with their millions and their failure to do so is a clear sign of islahomofascism and America hatred.
Now, I know some of you will say “What about Romney? he’s using his cash.” Well, duuuh. Of course he’s using his money, but his last name is R-O-M-N-E-Y, not C-L-I-N-T-O-N.
And that is central to my point.
gbear said,
February 7, 2008 at 16:01
I crippled a guy in Roseville. just to watch him limp.
A rhyme came to mind quickly, but I’m not going there…
I shot an entire 20 oz. diet coke all over the front of some hip young kid after he pissed on my truck wheel. You don’t piss on a pickup truck. Diet coke is the most dangerous weapon I carry.
Legalize said,
February 7, 2008 at 16:20
I shot a .357 at a burning cow in Texas. Relax, the cow was dead already. And we were drunk.
Scott said,
February 7, 2008 at 16:22
The campaign rules forbid foreign money.
Money earned overseas by a United States citizen can’t be contributed to a campaign? I’m pretty sure that’s not correct. Direct contributions from foreign nationals or governments may be nixed, but I’m pretty sure that money you legitimately earned overseas is considered, well, legitimately-earned income — yours to do with as you please…
Woodrowfan said,
February 7, 2008 at 16:32
Next thing you know we’ll be hearing that the Clintons push mattresses together before retiring.
It’s worse than that. I hear they sleep IN THE SAME BED, in a QUEEN (wink wink) size bed. Clearly a subtle sign to the homosexual lobby that they are enjoying homonups!!!
Johnny Coelacanth said,
February 7, 2008 at 17:26
Ah, young and stupid. I remember one of my buddies in the Navy told me the best place on board ship to smoke dope was in the flammable liquid storage room. “Nobody expects you to smoke in there,” he said. I wonder if he’s still alive. My friends and I were smarter. We smoked in the ventilation room, where the big fans would pull the smoke out of the room… and into the rest of the ship. Yeah, we were geniuseses.
Robert M. said,
February 7, 2008 at 17:31
Carpenter, like practically everyone at The Corner and Townhall, is beyond our petty concept of “factual” writing. She writes on a higher plane, one where ideas are graded on how closely they match up with the Platonic ideal of Conservatism.
Not coincidentally, this plane is also apparently flooded with nitrous oxide and aerosolized THC. There’s no other way to account for it.
Candy said,
February 7, 2008 at 17:51
I’d tell some stories, but I need to check out the statutes of limitation first.
Arky The Blasphemer said,
February 7, 2008 at 18:13
One with a depressurized cabin and all the passengers have refused to put on the oxygen masks because J-Load told them kweers provided oxygen to the NAZI party. Not for them the dangerous gas of fascism!
Lawnguylander said,
February 7, 2008 at 18:20
Heh, heh. Nice photo update.
Five of Diamonds said,
February 7, 2008 at 18:46
It’s confirmed Clinton has loaned herself $5 million. The Clinton’s personal wealth is estimated to be between $10 million and $50 million.
But, of course, because Clinton is teh Demon, she did not devote a single dollar of domestically-earned money to her campaign.
Dr. Squid said,
February 7, 2008 at 18:59
It’s innaresting what you find on the first page when you google America’s Shittiest Website.
D. Sidhe said,
February 7, 2008 at 19:14
Key Riste on a cracker, how do you get to be so knee-jerk universally hated like the Clintons?
Go on welfare. That’ll do it, believe me.
Candy said,
February 7, 2008 at 19:30
As the Clintons carry out their nefarious plot to maintain a joint checking account, the Bush Misadministration continues with its counter-plan to be the most corruptest evah in American history.
josh said,
February 7, 2008 at 19:48
you overdid the “[sic]“s. The last setence with “a loophole in campaign finance rules that forbids” is correct b/c the subject (loophole) is singular. Or am I missing something?
tigrismus said,
February 7, 2008 at 19:54
The loophole doesn’t forbid, it allows by creating an exception to what the rules forbid.
Athenawise said,
February 7, 2008 at 21:18
I always need to go to the bathroom after I read comments here. Hilarious stuff (the comments, not the bathroom).
Fozzetti said,
February 7, 2008 at 22:21
Once I was driving across some railroad tracks and I saw a train coming. So I braked hard and came to a full stop. Then, suddenly, my brain switched on and I floored it (the accelerator). Beat that!
Smut Clyde said,
February 7, 2008 at 23:23
I shot a .357 at a burning cow in Texas. Relax, the cow was dead already.
And then it just happened to burst into flames? Yeah, right. Spontaneous bovine combustion.
A. E. Housman said,
February 7, 2008 at 23:37
Just for Mikey:
The cow, the old cow, she is dead;
It sleeps well, the horned head:
We poor lads, ’tis our turn now
To hear such tunes as killed the cow.
Pretty friendship ’tis to rhyme
Your friends to death before their time
RobW said,
February 8, 2008 at 3:44
“Key Riste on a cracker, how do you get to be so knee-jerk universally hated like the Clintons?”
Go on welfare. That’ll do it, believe me.
You’re sure not going to earn their hatred through insanity and violence.
I remember one of my buddies in the Navy told me the best place on board ship to smoke dope was in the flammable liquid storage room. “Nobody expects you to smoke in there,” he said. I wonder if he’s still alive. My friends and I were smarter. We smoked in the ventilation room, where the big fans would pull the smoke out of the room… and into the rest of the ship. Yeah, we were geniuseses.
(cough)Deckedge elevator catwalks (cough) Cable trunks (cough) There are a LOT of well-ventilated void spaces on an aircraft carrier.
bryanD said,
February 8, 2008 at 6:59
Save it, Sadlyno! Amanda Carpenter is hot. You know it, I know it.
Even the odd still frame just makes her look all passed out and vulnerable and what’s wrong with that?