6
The delusion keeps getting funnier
The Corner seems intent on LOLing me to death:
McCain’s Moment (Possibly) [John Hood]
Just for the sake of argument, imagine that John McCain has the greatest success tonight, Romney doesn’t quite make it in the key states he needs, and so McCain has essentially clinched the nomination (Huckabee’s wins may please Huckabee and his fans, but they won’t block McCain). The senator would have a huge opportunity in his televised address, possibly carried on both cable and broadcast networks depending on the timing, to make an effective pitch to GOP conservatives. Some will never listen, but I suspect others remain persuadable.
You guys don’t seem to get it.
The way things work in American politics is that you appeal to your base during the primaries and then tack toward the center once you’ve secured the nomination. McCain is mostly winning the primaries because a lot of people buy into the media-fueled notion that he’s a “maverick” conservative who’s fundamentally different from the Bushies. Now while in reality this isn’t true — McCain has the same disastrous foreign policy ideas as Bush does and he’s just as liable to appoint wingnutty judges to the Supreme Court, for instance — he and his pals in the press have done a damn good job of selling it to independents and Republicans who want to pretend the Bush years never happened, but simply can’t stomach the thought of voting for a Democrat.
In other words, he’s succeeded largely because he’s convinced a sizable number of people in this country that he has nothing to do with all-out lunatics like you guys. If he’s come this far without your help, then there is no upside to him coming out and giving the finger to subprime borrowers who have just lost their homes, as you’d prefer him to do. Sorry, guys, but your ideology has become political poison in this country, even in the damn Republican primaries. If you want people to vote for you in the future, maybe you should stop wearing your sociopathy so overtly on your sleeves.
White Male, Jew of Liberal Fascism said,
February 6, 2008 at 4:50
If you want people to vote for you in the future, maybe you should stop wearing your sociopathy so overtly on your sleeves.
But what fun is it being a sociopath if you can’t wear your colors in public?
Kathleen said,
February 6, 2008 at 4:54
plus McCain is a horrendous speechifier and won’t be convincing anyone of anything “in his televised address, possibly carried on both cable and broadcast networks.”
Jennifer said,
February 6, 2008 at 5:00
But making the society safe for sociopathy isn’t just a plank of the Republican platform; it’s the main support beam.
Candy said,
February 6, 2008 at 5:03
plus McCain is a horrendous speechifier
I was just saying to my partner this morning that if I have to listen to McCain whistling through his teeth for the next nine months or, heaven forfend, four to eight years, I’m just going to have to get out of Dodge . . .
Chris St. James said,
February 6, 2008 at 5:05
Mitt Romney won West Virginia fair and square! This whole thing was a conspiracy between McLame the Huckster and the open borders crowd to deny a true Conservative the nomination! This really pisses me off! McLame and Fuckabee should not be allowed to do this!
Hopefully Fuckabee will drop out so and then his votes will go to Romney!
I AM SICK AND TIRED OF HAVING TO VOTE FOR THE LESSER OF TWO EVILS!
I WILL NOT ACCEPT AN OPEN BORDERS PRO AMNESTY ADVOCATE AS MY PARTY’S NOMINEE!
Brad said,
February 6, 2008 at 5:07
I AM SICK AND TIRED OF HAVING TO VOTE FOR THE LESSER OF TWO EVILS!
I WILL NOT ACCEPT AN OPEN BORDERS PRO AMNESTY ADVOCATE AS MY PARTY’S NOMINEE!
God this is fun.
Jennifer said,
February 6, 2008 at 5:11
I AM SICK AND TIRED OF HAVING TO VOTE FOR THE LESSER OF TWO EVILS!
Dood, have I totally got the candidate for you!
a different brad said,
February 6, 2008 at 5:15
But, dude, just for the sake of argument, imagine that instead of dying, JFK was frozen until they came up with a cure for having your head blown apart like a melon, which they just now came up with.
Does anyone have a pencil? I should write this down for the Corner to use later.
Chris St. James said,
February 6, 2008 at 5:16
I hope Mitt Romney kicks John McLame’s ass from coast to coast!
mikey said,
February 6, 2008 at 5:19
I’m all about the Huck. That dood is full on, righteously electable.
Huck/Dobson ’08!
mikey
Doc Nebula said,
February 6, 2008 at 5:20
Brad,
It’s always an interesting experience when I come over to SN! these days. The new people simply aren’t as funny as the old crowd, so I’m careful what I read here. Yet, when I see a ‘by Brad’ byline, I’m always relieved and happy, and charge on in, expecting the best.
Dude, you’re just not as funny when you’re depressed over the Super Bowl.
Maybe this will cheer you up:
Hello, my name is JoAnne and I live in Chicago, IL. I just would like to say that the New England Patriots were cheated throughout the entire game by the referees. There were numerous penalties that were not called on the New York Giants and it was very clear to see on the replays. I have never seen a game where there were no penalties called when they were made. I really think that the New England Patriots should have had a better chance or FAIR chance at winning tonight’s game. But that’s okay, they had a perfect record all season and they will be back next season with avenges. Even though they may have lost the Superbowl game, they still went out of the season on top!!!
jojobellhill posted on Monday, Feb 4, 2008 12:16 am EST
That’s right, mon frere. The Patriots will be back next year — with avenges.
Wait for it.
(It’s a real post, but when I checked out where I originally found it — http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/blog/nfl_experts/post/Top-five-Super-Bowl-commercials-From-Timberlake?urn=nfl,64964 — it seems to have been removed. You can still see some of the responses to it, though, if you look down in the comment threads.)
Lesley said,
February 6, 2008 at 5:32
Mitt Romney won West Virginia fair and square!
Gah, I can’t believe that Ward Cleaver Phoney is still in the race.
Me said,
February 6, 2008 at 5:37
Gah, I can’t believe that Ward Cleaver Phoney is still in the race.
Please, no more harsh words about Hugh Beaumont. Hugh always knew how to handle the Beaver.
Garth said,
February 6, 2008 at 5:38
They can yell and scream about Juan McAmnesty all they like, they’ll still crawl over broken glass to vote for him over Hitlery!
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®©? said,
February 6, 2008 at 5:40
Did somebody tell teh wingnuts, “…maybe you should stop wearing your sociopathy so overtly on your sleeves”?
Needs a picture!
And send Jonah a box of Krispy Kremes, on me.
stringonastick said,
February 6, 2008 at 5:50
“Doc Nebula said,
February 6, 2008 at 5:20
Brad,
It’s always an interesting experience when I come over to SN! these days. The new people simply aren’t as funny as the old crowd, so I’m careful what I read here. Yet, when I see a ‘by Brad’ byline, I’m always relieved and happy, and charge on in, expecting the best.
Dude, you’re just not as funny when you’re depressed over the Super Bowl.”
Harsh.
RepubAnon said,
February 6, 2008 at 6:02
I’m guessing Huckabee as McCain’s VP choice. The wingnuts will pull a 180 and jump on the McCain bandwagon faster than Homer Simpson realizing that he just drove past an all-you-can-eat doughnut shop.
Me said,
February 6, 2008 at 6:04
Dude, you’re just not as funny when you’re depressed over the Super Bowl.”
Doc Nebula…it’s tragedy plus time.
Arky the Blasphemer said,
February 6, 2008 at 6:08
“Heh.”
Matt T. said,
February 6, 2008 at 6:11
Dude, you’re just not as funny when you’re depressed over the Super Bowl.
So what’s your excuse?
Chris St. James said,
February 6, 2008 at 6:13
We need either Alan Keyes, Mitt Romney or Ron Paul for President. And since Alan Keyes and Ron Paul unfortunately don’t have much of a chance at winning the Republican nomination we need Mitt Romney. Mitt Romney is a consistant Conservative who will secure our nation’s borders and enforce the law against illegal aliens and the employers who hire them. He will also appoint strict constructionist judges to the Supreme Court who will vote to overturn roe v. wade. He will pass a Constitutional amendment defining marraige as between one man and one woman. As a sucessful businessman he will cut taxes, reduce spending, shrink the size of government and eliminate burdensome government regulations. And he will double the size of guantanamo bay ( which McLame wants to close) and will continue the Bush legacy of going after the islamo-fascists. We need a consistent Conservative like Mitt Romney as our party’s nominee or we’ll have to settle for an open borders pro-amnesty rino which I am not willing to do.
gbear said,
February 6, 2008 at 6:20
As an opportunist he will lie to you with a smile on his face, you patsy.
Garth said,
February 6, 2008 at 6:21
Oh Chris, you’ll vote for McCain and like it if the alternative is Hillary and you know it.
gbear said,
February 6, 2008 at 6:29
doc nebula, as one of the new guys, I’ve heard the stories about your warm and humane days. Too bad some people age so poorly.
Dr. Squid said,
February 6, 2008 at 6:31
If the primaries were absolutely closed so tat only pre-registered Republicans could vote in that party’s primary, Mittens would have won in a walk.
This is why they have to steal elections.
Dan Someone said,
February 6, 2008 at 6:33
The way things work in American politics is that you appeal to your base during the primaries and then tack toward the center once you’ve secured the nomination.
I think what it is, Brad, is that the wingnut punditgentsia have convinced themselves that there is a vast, silent majority of True Conservatives out there, forced into hiding by the insufficient conservatude of the Bush Incompetency; and if only a True Conservative candidate (preferably the zombie body of Fred Thompson hosting the parasitic ghost of Ronald Reagan) were to take to the campaign trail, that majority would come out of the woodwork by the millions and grind the fucking liberals — and even worse, those traitorous “moderate” Republicans — under their bootheels down into the slime and mud where they belong. So naturally, they are hoping that McCain is actually a stealth wingnut, whose centrism is a ruse to get the Republican nomination, after which he can tear off his rubber mask with a flourish, cackle maniacally, and inspire the Conservative Underground to rise up as one on November 5 and Take Back The Country in the name of Saint Ronald.
Paddy Mac said,
February 6, 2008 at 6:42
Well, folks, I must eat crow. I had questioned the wisdom of leaving the Saul/BB/Chrisbot running, but look at the laughs now! It’s gone spinning into headless-chicken (i.e. rightie sans talking-points) mode, and I think we need a contest. How much faster can it whirl before it explodes?
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®©? said,
February 6, 2008 at 6:50
It’s a parody troll. The real question is how boring will it get before it bores itself to sleep at night.
El Cid said,
February 6, 2008 at 7:00
It’s got to mean at least a little something to the movement rightarianistas that John McCain has to be the only presidential candidate in history who can regularly growl “My friends” with such horribly undisguised contempt and penetrating hatred, as though it were his last verbal cue given before he killed you and ran your viscera through his fingers.
Some Guy said,
February 6, 2008 at 7:59
“He will also appoint strict constructionist judges to the Supreme Court who will vote to overturn roe v. wade.”
But wouldn’t that be… LEGISLATING FROM THE BENCH?!?!
“As a sucessful businessman he will cut taxes, reduce spending, shrink the size of government and eliminate burdensome government regulations. And he will double the size of guantanamo bay”
Yes. He will shrink the government and cut spending by increasing the size of the government and creating more funding requirements.
“which I am not willing to do.”
Too bad you don’t decide who gets to be president.
Doug Watts said,
February 6, 2008 at 8:51
The American Experiment fails if it does not have a Presidential nominee who pledges to stamp out and imprison the wetback spics …
Monkay said,
February 6, 2008 at 9:06
Way off topic: Gentlemen, you can’t fight in here! This is the War Room!
It’s such a great quote I couldn’t resist.
Anne Laurie said,
February 6, 2008 at 9:11
[Willard] will pass a Constitutional amendment defining marraige as between one man and one woman.
Willard couldn’t even keep an activist Republican-appointed state judge from legalizing gay ‘marraige’ in the state he was supposed to be governing.
You’re right, Thunder — parody troll. Or so dumb, even by troll standards, as to make the line between talking-point-spew and parody unparsable.
Dr BLT said,
February 6, 2008 at 10:37
McCain doesn’t scare me. Neither does Huckabee. Neither does a McCain/Huckabee ticket. As a certified right-winger, I’m supposed to be scared by Obama. I’m not. This is what really scares me:
A Capitol Hill-ary
Dr BLT
words and music by Dr BLT, copyright 2008 Right-wing Records
http://www.drblt.net/music/CapHillDemo2.mp3
merlallen said,
February 6, 2008 at 14:03
USS Forestfire. The day McCain almost sank his own damn ship. That’s what he’ll do to the country.
Hemlock for Gadflies said,
February 6, 2008 at 15:42
This is just so f-ing SWEET! I voted for Obama, but I’m having a lot more fun watching the Repukelicans going out of their minds over St. John. They just can’t understand that THEY DON’T MATTER. You spend 20 years convincing yourself that you’re The Base (and isn’t that what “al-Qaeda” translates to in English, by the way????) and then this.
McCain’s — I’m Loving It!
El Cid said,
February 6, 2008 at 15:50
Yes, but never forget that the American Right Wing(tm) has no historical memory for what they don’t wish to recall, and the moment John McCain is the nominee (especially with Governor Ex-Fat Rapture Man as VP) they will be all, like, “Whut? We alwayz luvvd John McCain he’s a war hero not like that French f***** John Kerry and he promises to save us from the Muslimofascists not like that fifth column Osama bin Hussein al Obama or that socialist c*** Hitlery God-d*** Clinton.”
The worm und drang will evaporate as if it never mattered.
kenga said,
February 6, 2008 at 16:32
So, any other Massholes out there care to speculate on the causes of Romney’s win in MA?
I believe a substantial amount of his support came from “Unenrolled”(i.e. registered Independent) voters.
I think a lot of them were thinking of one thing, when they cast that vote.
“Magic underwear. Hee. AND he’s a douchebag. This is gonna be GREAT!”
Major Woody said,
February 6, 2008 at 16:39
Me said,
Please, no more harsh words about Hugh Beaumont. Hugh always knew how to handle the Beaver.
Don’t forget the best quote ever to appear on network television:
June: “Ward, don’t you think you were kind of hard on The Beaver last night?”
Smart Remarks » Blog Archive » The stake(s) said,
February 6, 2008 at 17:00
[...] II: And being far more harsh than I would ever dream of being (ha!), Brad at Sadly, No! outlines how movement conservatives are deluding themselves if they think McCain is tacking to the right [...]
DAS said,
February 6, 2008 at 17:02
Sorry, guys, but your ideology has become political poison in this country, even in the damn Republican primaries.
But Mara Liasson on even the liberal NPR said McCain has to appeal to conservatives as well as to moderates and independents.
OTOH, could you imagine Ms. Liasson’s response if a Dem tried to appeal to the Dem. base? She’d be clutching her pearls in shock and fright at how “those rabid liberals can’t even manage to get together to support a candidate that would appeal to the mainstream”.
DAS said,
February 6, 2008 at 17:11
I don’t get it? How come “movement conservatives” support Romney (who doesn’t have the best track record of being very conservative) over McCain (who has a very good conservative track record)?
Is it because they’ve started to believe their own propaganda about John McCain being the patron saint of bipartisanship? Is it merely a power thing … McCain plays well with others in the Senate and they simply don’t like someone who is able to play well with others and view anyone who is not a sociopath as insufficiently committed to their cause?
What is the deal here?
billy pilgrim said,
February 6, 2008 at 17:53
I’m voting for Senator Clinton.
Because I like BLT scared
Duros62 said,
February 6, 2008 at 18:36
USS Forestfire. The day McCain almost sank his own damn ship. That’s what he’ll do to the country.
Come on, now, that’ s not fair. The runaway missile hit his plane. He had nothing to do with that.
I can’t stand the guy, but, you know, I respect him.
Chris St James said,
February 6, 2008 at 18:46
I really love BLT’s tunes. They’re right on my intellectual level. Nobody’s ever made political satire aimed at below-average-intelligence 12-year-olds before.
actor212 said,
February 6, 2008 at 19:21
DAS said,
February 6, 2008 at 17:11
I don’t get it? How come “movement conservatives” support Romney
More fibre makes for a better movement.
Hysterical Woman said,
February 6, 2008 at 22:11
As far as Republicans go, I wouldn’t slit my wrist if McCain were elected President.
billy pilgrim said,
February 7, 2008 at 1:00
Me neither, Hysterical.
Now McCain’s wrists, on the other hand….
Not Dr BLT said,
February 7, 2008 at 2:38
“I really love BLT’s tunes. They’re right on my intellectual level. Nobody’s ever made political satire aimed at below-average-intelligence 12-year-olds before.”
This particular tune started out with words that were much more intelligent. (As I’ve said before, my fans are few in number, but extremely high in IQ points).
Then I realized this: This thing is so above their heads that it will be like the tree that falls in the middle of the forest that nobody sees (or hears, in this case).
So I downgraded the tune so that even people like yourself could make sense of it. Now I’m glad I did because my rewards are beginning to come in. Thanks for the encouraging words!
Balloon Juice said,
February 7, 2008 at 18:17
[...] The basis of McCain’s support this election cycle is correctly pointed out by the Bradrocket yesterday, as he laughed at the “conservatives” who, after spending months flinging poo at John McCain, now expect him to come lick their boots AFTER he has won the nomination despite their best efforts: [...]