Jan
25

When A Brooks And A Head Collide, There Is A Hollow Sound




Posted at 18:30 by Mister Leonard Pierce

Il Bobolini: The economy is not a human-created thing that is governed by rules that we make up and can change. It is more like a magic castle in the sky, or a beautiful rainforest lost in time where any attempt by mere mortals to alter its magnificent and natural course would cause it to float away on the wings of angels and invisible pixies. I know all of this because a computer guy told me.

fiscally delicious
Above: the American economy in its natural state

And that is why we shouldn’t do anything crazy like ask why the economy just tanked, or who was responsible, or what we might do to prevent it from happening again. And let us certainly not do anything to alleviate the damage that was done. Let’s all just agree to sit back and watch the mystical wonderment of it all unfold.

sieg Krug
Above: the inevitable result of listening to people like Paul Krugman

212 Comments »

  1. PhysioProf said,

    January 25, 2008 at 18:34

    Brooks should be ashamed of himself, slandering some poor computer guy like that.

  2. mextremist said,

    January 25, 2008 at 18:34

    Ass pixies. That’s who really controls the fate of the magical castle.

  3. Jerkstore said,

    January 25, 2008 at 18:37

    Are all pictures of the Democrat Party in black and white?

  4. pedestrian said,

    January 25, 2008 at 18:37

    See, I would think that the Ecology Narrative would be that if you cut down all the trees to make a quick buck, everybody dies.

  5. Fromago-fascist said,

    January 25, 2008 at 18:44

    Ass pixies? So that’s why my ass chimes when I scratch it…

  6. Arky - Chuthuhlusexual said,

    January 25, 2008 at 18:45

    Pay not attention to that CEO behind the platinum parachute!

  7. Jennifer said,

    January 25, 2008 at 18:45

    The lesson of the Ecology Narrative is that, in most cases, the market corrects itself. Maybe this year banks will change their pay structure so there’s not so much emphasis on short-term results. Maybe companies will change their boards to improve scrutiny over complex new instruments.

    I thought the lesson was that 95% of us get ass-raped while no one blinks an eye and that so long as the other 5% are sucking up money that used to be in the pockets of one or another of the other 95%, the system is working as it was designed to work.

  8. Candy said,

    January 25, 2008 at 18:54

    That top picture made me hungry, dammit.

  9. Five of Diamonds said,

    January 25, 2008 at 18:55

    The invisible hand of the market bitch-slaps homeowners.

  10. Jennifer said,

    January 25, 2008 at 19:02

    I’ve seen the “invisible hand” of the market, and it was giving me the finger.

  11. tomemos said,

    January 25, 2008 at 19:04

    I liked this post until it violated Godwin’s Law before the first comment was posted.

  12. Nimrod Gently said,

    January 25, 2008 at 19:04

    The New Adventures of Mister McBobo. By Ralph Bakshi.

  13. Righteous Bubba said,

    January 25, 2008 at 19:05

    I liked this post until it violated Godwin’s Law before the first comment was posted.

    We’re fascists. We get to say that stuff.

  14. Susan of Texas said,

    January 25, 2008 at 19:12

    Jesus, it’s even worse than you said. It”s like he’s in bed with Larry Kudlow and they’re telling each other bedtime stories.

  15. DocAmazing said,

    January 25, 2008 at 19:12

    The part that is so hilarious is the “it happens to be true” finale. The mark of someone operating far above his own capabilities, that phrase. Reminds me of the P.J. O’Rourke into to Parliament of Whores where he comments that Democrats like Santa Claus and Republicnas like God, and that the difference is that Santa Claus doesn’t exist. Unintentionally hilarious, in both cases.

  16. Susan of Texas said,

    January 25, 2008 at 19:16

    And the fun gets funner.

  17. t4toby said,

    January 25, 2008 at 19:17

    Godwin’s Law is dead. Loadpants broke it.

    From here on out its all Nazis, all the time.

  18. J— said,

    January 25, 2008 at 19:18

    Godwin’s Law is so pre-Liberal Fascism.

  19. Legalize said,

    January 25, 2008 at 19:19

    I’m casting a role in a short film where the character is intentionally obtuse fraud who preens on and on about being a serious centrist. Does anyone have a contact in David Brooks’ agent’s office?

  20. Righteous Bubba said,

    January 25, 2008 at 19:20

    Democrats like Santa Claus

    The larger point PJ is making is dumber and funnier, but really: policies that ensure I’m not bankrupted by my kid having a disease is like Santa visiting?

  21. Righteous Bubba said,

    January 25, 2008 at 19:21

    Godwin’s Law is so pre-Liberal Fascism.

    Nazi please.

  22. roseyv said,

    January 25, 2008 at 19:21

    Okay, I read this, and I was just about to comment something along the lines of “Leonard, that was hilarious.” And then I was like, oh wait a minute. This isn’t skullbucket, this is sadlyno. I don’t know who actually wrote this. So I went to check.

    You are a snowflake, dude.

  23. Left_Wing_Fox said,

    January 25, 2008 at 19:22

    Ah yes, the Ecology Narrative. It sounds so romantic, until you realize nature evolved a hell of a lot of parasites, plagues, toxins, and creatures that eat their mates and children.

    Of course, if you ask what the “Hookworm of Capitalism” would be, you’re a commie. =P

  24. t4toby said,

    January 25, 2008 at 19:25

    I thought I was a snowflake. Wait, wtf does that mean? Like a snowflake baby?

    Or a flaky coke addict? What does it mean?!?

    (Where’s the interrobang when I need it?)

  25. Soj said,

    January 25, 2008 at 19:25

    Whether the product is high-yield bonds or mortgage-backed securities, there’s a tendency to get carried away.

    Yoddily yodee yo ho hooo… he’s like an evil leprechaun twirling his cane saying this shit. He’s talking about junk bonds and the S&L crisis, both of which triggered MASSIVE bailouts by the American taxpayer.

    This is what’s known as moral hazard, which means all the big financial cats know that if they fuck up BIG ENOUGH the government (i.e. the people aka the “suckers” as they’re known in the trade) will save them every time.

    I like how he makes it seem like financial analysts and brokers get caught up in their own swooning over these “new-fangled” hard to understand corn-falootin new securities like a 11 year old girl reading Tiger Beat.

    Fucking Mr. Magoo.

  26. Jen said,

    January 25, 2008 at 19:27

    Technically, I think if you’re snarking on the idea that the opposition has pre-emptively Godwined you and you mock that by embracing your inner liberal fascist, that’s not really Godwin’s Law but something else. And it can’t be the Goldberg Principle as that has already been assigned a value. Someone more creative than me come up with something.

  27. t4toby said,

    January 25, 2008 at 19:31

    GodburgGoldpants Principle?

  28. t4toby said,

    January 25, 2008 at 19:31

    Goldwin’s Law?

  29. Robert M. said,

    January 25, 2008 at 19:32

    One of the instances where the “shorter” actually makes the original author sound less stupid.

    The Ecology Narrative is fine, as far as it goes–Wall Street is indeed a complex (and heavily regulated) system of (entirely artificial) financial instruments. Brooks is an idiot because the Greed Narrative is also true; that is, there are a lot of people who walked away from the subprime mortgage crisis much richer than they were when they started, and the damage to the economy is a direct result of the fact that most of their riches were taken out of consumer spending.

    The only reason the “Ecology” hasn’t changed is that, while everyone recognizes that it’s a tool for skimming wealth from the many and concentrating it in the hands of the very few, no one wants to change it–because everyone involved thinks it’s their turn to be one of the few.

    I know this isn’t funny, but goddamnit, Brooks pisses me off. At least Jonah is right upfront with his wankery…

  30. t4toby said,

    January 25, 2008 at 19:32

    Goldloser’s Law?

  31. Legalize said,

    January 25, 2008 at 19:33

    Winger “scholarship,” Susan, is primarily premised on the presumption of the winger “scholar” that his readers are (1) as intellectually lazy and dishonest as he, and (2) that the reader simply won’t bother checking his sources, because neither did the author.

    This premise fails every time, and I wonder why they keep it up. The only answer I can think of is that winger scholars simply are inherently lazy and dishonest. They can not alter their behavior. And even if they could, they would not, because they have a financial interest in maintaining the same.

  32. PeeJ said,

    January 25, 2008 at 19:33

    Oh shite. There are so many things wrong with Brooks and his latest tour de farce, that I could spend all day smacking him down. Instead, good little fascist toady that I am, I’ll let someone else do it for me.

    And why not let someone with cred, like, maybe a real economist, do the smacking even before Brooks opens his moonpiehole.

    With that out of the way, I just want to point out that he needs a fucking dictionary.

    As Sebastian Mallaby of the Council on Foreign Relations has pointed out, time and again hedge funds have dampened market instability.

    No, that would be ‘damped’, unless you live on the spaceship Enterprise.

    Or it would be correct if he meant hedge funds have pissed all over the markets which I guess is also a supportable statement.

  33. Kathleen said,

    January 25, 2008 at 19:36

    Jennifer::

    “I thought the lesson was that 95% of us get ass-raped while no one blinks an eye and that so long as the other 5% are sucking up money that used to be in the pockets of one or another of the other 95%, the system is working as it was designed to work.”

    I thought so too! Thank hebbens for David Brooks giving us the TRUE story.

  34. robert green said,

    January 25, 2008 at 19:37

    this use of the term “ecology” by mr. brooks is beyond unintentionally hilarious. it is the paradigm of a brooks column–he wades in with a sociological point, and then undermines it without knowing he’s done so.

    on the pages of the NYTimes op-ed, of course.

    so, the ecology narrative seems to have missed the part where it is wonderful in the short term in an underregulated capitalist system to cut down all the trees, say, or heat the earth up, perhaps, two actual examples of “ecology narrative” at work. that both such behaviors are of long term harm is not of import to such narratives.

    but in reality the ecology narrative is more like a horror movie (or like cormac mccarthy’s “the road”). at the end of this narrative brooks’ children will be living in a hobbesian hellhole of a world, but as long as brooks has carried the water of the rich and powerful, and in turn they have helped him get his kids jobs and a house behind a wall with gun turrets and private security he could give a flying fuck.

  35. PeeJ said,

    January 25, 2008 at 19:37

    ? WTF?

  36. PeeJ said,

    January 25, 2008 at 19:38

    Oh shite. There are so many things wrong with Brooks and his latest tour de farce, that I could spend all day smacking him down. Instead, good little fascist toady that I am, I’ll let someone else do it for me. And why not let someone with cred, like, maybe a real economist, do the smacking even before Brooks spouts off.

  37. PeeJ said,

    January 25, 2008 at 19:40

    I just want to point out that he needs a fucking dictionary.

    As Sebastian Mallaby of the Council on Foreign Relations has pointed out, time and again hedge funds have dampened market instability.

    No, that would be ‘damped,’ unless you live on the spaceship Enterprise.

    Or it would be correct if he meant hedge funds have pissed all over the markets which I guess is also a supportable statement.

  38. PeeJ said,

    January 25, 2008 at 19:43

    Oh shite. There are so many things wrong with Brooks and his latest tour de farce, that I could spend all day smacking him down. Instead, good little fascist toady that I am, I’ll let someone else, someone with cred like maybe a real life economist do it for me. Do please note the date of Krugman’s piece.

  39. mextremist said,

    January 25, 2008 at 19:46

    liberal fascism is the turning point of late capitalist political analysis: a Doughy Singularity that cleft the traditional understanding of the misperceptions of political alignments. It is with this framing that we can unpack Godwin’s law through a Pantloadian reading of the epistemological dimensions of “Nazi”.

  40. Five of Diamonds said,

    January 25, 2008 at 19:57

    “The Ecology Narrative is not morally satisfying.”

    Nor is it intellectually satisfying.

  41. Susan of Texas said,

    January 25, 2008 at 20:00

    Borrowing from mextremist–

    The Goldberg Singularity–All attempts by Jonah Goldberg to make an intellectual argument will eventually end up in tears and ad hominem attacks.

  42. Ian said,

    January 25, 2008 at 20:02

    “Ass pixies”

    I hear they’re playing at Coachella. this year

  43. Righteous Bubba said,

    January 25, 2008 at 20:06

    The Goldberg Fundamental: there is no practical difference between shit and shinola if the source is Jonah Goldberg.

  44. El Cid said,

    January 25, 2008 at 20:12

    The Klan is actually far less racist than generally believed. Lego brand building blocks are, however, far more racist than generally believed.

  45. Susan of Texas said,

    January 25, 2008 at 20:12

    The Goldberg Machine: an extremely complicated [argument] that performs a very simple, easy task [for his conservative masters] in an indirect and convoluted way.

  46. SomeNYGuy said,

    January 25, 2008 at 20:18

    Right next door to Bobo on the op-ed page we have the Creature FRUM the Hack Lagoon asking, and I quote:

    “Can this stool be saved?”

    Gee. I usually flush mine, and dispose of my dog’s. But even if we both went on a gluttonous binge I doubt we could save enough to match the height of Frum’s latest pile.

  47. Mailgnant Bouffant said,

    January 25, 2008 at 20:24

    From Texas Sue’s Wiki link:

    Rube Goldberg and his wife, Irma Seeman had two children, Thomas and George. However, during World War II Goldberg began receiving a large amount of hate mail because of the political nature of his cartoons. He ordered both of his sons to change their surnames from Goldberg in order to protect them. Thomas chose his new last name as “George”. George also chose “George” as his new last name in order to keep some kind of family bond with his brother.

    Rube Goldberg’s son, Broadway and film producer, George W. George, died on November 7, 2007.

    Jonah W. George? Lucianne George? DoughBob Georgepants?

  48. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    January 25, 2008 at 20:25

    The Loadpants Principle: I know you are, but what am I?

  49. Fats Durston said,

    January 25, 2008 at 20:27

    Now Jonah’s posted the argument that will make all of us Fascial Liberalists realize we were wrong and he was sooooo right.

    See, a guy wrote a email to Jonah that has a link to an interview with a White Nationalist (decidedly not a Neo-Nazi, no siree, that Swastika tattoo is for racial purity, it’s not about hate, or Nazism, at all!) who tells us that Nazis were indeed socialists because they wanted to control the economy, and he, as a White Nationalist, ain’t about that.

    So there! I do not see how we could possibly defeat this authority’s unassailable argument. Jonah saw this unimpeachable source, and he laid it up onto his website for all to see, and now we have to give up our dreams of hugs and tofu donuts for everyone forever (i.e., world fascist domination).

  50. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    January 25, 2008 at 20:27

    P.S. For you youngsters out there, the first pic refers to the board game, “Candyland”.

  51. Mailgnant Bouffant said,

    January 25, 2008 at 20:32

    “Candyland.” That’s Iowa, isn’t it?

    Frum likes to save his stools. In his drawers. And I don’t mean his loadpants.

  52. MileHi Hawkeye said,

    January 25, 2008 at 20:33

    Candy has her own board game? Coolness…

  53. (Lex) Skink Tyree (Azagthoth) said,

    January 25, 2008 at 20:33

    This is what you get for not sticking to the real news. Where is the coverage of Heath Ledger? Come on, I want to know what the candidates think, how the economy will be affected by his death, if relations between the U.S. and Australia will be hurt or strengthened by this….it’s just too much…..I’ll leave the ass pixies tie-in jokes to the rest of you……

  54. Susan of Texas said,

    January 25, 2008 at 20:33

    “First I love that even White Nationalist trash recognize that Hitler was a socialist.”

    I don’t which which would make the far far right angrier, being called trash or having their hero called a socialist.

  55. PeeJ said,

    January 25, 2008 at 20:33

    I see, the economy is actually a creation of Willy Wonka! Or is it Willy Wanker? Could someone with GIMP (photoshop if you must) skills make an Oompah-Loompah Brooks?

  56. Jen said,

    January 25, 2008 at 20:35

    Oh, boy, you have to read Fats’ link. Here’s the response (reLoad?):

    Me: First I love that even White Nationalist trash recognize that Hitler was a socialist.

    Second, I would love to come up with something like a bonus system for word of mouth boosting of the book. Suggestions welcome for how that system might work.

    I am awestruck.

  57. El Cid said,

    January 25, 2008 at 20:36

    Goldberg: I love that even White Nationalist trash recognize that Hitler was a socialist.

    And thereby Jo’berg has successfully proven that he has the ability to engage his true audience and win them over with logic they find convincing.

    Now he can move on to explore the valuable tensions between nasty “socialist” White Nationalism and Freedumb Appreciatin’ democracy luvin’ White Nationalism, and show how the latter could maybe someday teach the Klan how to really be racist.

  58. RobW said,

    January 25, 2008 at 20:37

    Jonah’s Rule of Authoritative Sources:
    1. If someone has academic knowledge of a given topic, they have been brainwashed by the ivory tower guild and are therefore unreliable.

    2. If someone has long-term real-world experience of a given topic, they are too close to it and too invested in it to be objective and are therefore unreliable.

    3. Given 1 and 2, it follows that the only authoritative sources on a a given topic are those who have neither relevant experience nor academic knowledge.

    Corrolary: Jonah knows everything. Everyone else knows nothing. He addresses this in his book. I believe it is central to his point.

  59. Gary (not Gary) said,

    January 25, 2008 at 20:38

    I used to be a moderate Democrat, but ever since Liberal Fascism, I’ve become outraged by the Nuremberg trials.

  60. Susan of Texas said,

    January 25, 2008 at 20:39

    Friday, February 8—Los Angeles, CA–Taping of Bill Maher

    Please, please Baby Jesus, let David Neiwert be another guest.

  61. slip said,

    January 25, 2008 at 20:42

    “First I love that even White Nationalist trash recognize that Hitler was a socialist.”

    Funny how Doughy draws a direct line between left and right socialism, but sees no connection between White Nationalist Trash and Conservatism even as the Trash is siding with conservative economic principles and the separatist doctrine of National Review itself, circa 1957.

  62. Mailgnant Bouffant said,

    January 25, 2008 at 20:42

    Here’s all you need to know about Heath Ledger, from the horse’s assmouth.

    Also note that in my sad absence, Nutellaontoast has been doing a fine job helping adifferentbrad at America’s second most popular site devoted to snarkery against an individual.

  63. RobW said,

    January 25, 2008 at 20:43

    Willy Wonka was a deranged robber baron who sold addictive products, maintained a labor force of slaves whose skin color was different, and killed children in bizarre and amusing ways, ostensibly to teach the rest of us lessons about morality.

    Sounds like a good model for the American economy. What could possibly go wrong?

  64. Bobo Is A Lying Shitheel « PhysioProf said,

    January 25, 2008 at 20:44

    [...] Sadly, No! Posted by PhysioProf Filed in [...]

  65. jim said,

    January 25, 2008 at 20:44

    “Ass pixies? So that’s why my ass chimes when I scratch it…”

    “Tinkerbell” is the Old English version of “Dingleberry”.

  66. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    January 25, 2008 at 20:46

    Could someone with GIMP (photoshop if you must) skills make an Oompah-Loompah Brooks?

    I have to believe that work has already been performed.

    In any case, I’m more than happy to blogwhore D r i f t g l a s s.

  67. Fats Durston said,

    January 25, 2008 at 20:53

    And I’m confused. If Brooks sees the economy as an ecology, isn’t he arguing that it’s organic, just like the Nazis? So which one leads us down the road to Fascism? Liberal Fascist Krugman’s totalitarian temptation, or Bobo’s? HALP!

  68. Galactic Dustbin said,

    January 25, 2008 at 20:53

    Ever notice that the right drags out two things they dont believe in; evolution and ecology, when dealing with the market? Come on! Where’s your Messiah now?

  69. Fromago-fascist said,

    January 25, 2008 at 21:01

    “Tinkerbell” is the Old English version of “Dingleberry”.

    Ok, that is nothing short of outstanding. Let my ass ring out far and wide!

  70. kingubu said,

    January 25, 2008 at 21:10

    Friday, February 8—Los Angeles, CA–Taping of Bill Maher

    Great, yet another opportunity for good that Maher will be wholly unprepared for. Who wants to bet that Bill runs to Doughy’s defense against his audience once the boos and hisses start?

  71. kiki said,

    January 25, 2008 at 21:11

    Ever notice that the right drags out two things they dont believe in; evolution and ecology, when dealing with the market? Come on! Where’s your Messiah now?

    Their entire fucking shtick is stolen from the left – the media and schools are “biased”, white Christians suffer “discrimination”, liberals and Muslims are “fascists”, and on and on. It’s a stealth tactic, ‘cos if they were honest about their philosophy rather than dressing it up in perversions of left-wing buzzwords, they’d be treated by the majority of the population with the scorn and ridicule they so richly deserve.

  72. Arky - Chuthuhlusexual said,

    January 25, 2008 at 21:19

    Scene: An Emergency Room somewhere in the United States.
    Present are Mr. Brooks and an ED doctor. Mr. Brooks is writhing on a gurney while various monitors beep urgently.

    Brooks: Doctor, help! My heart feels like it’s going to explode.
    Doctor: Ah yes, so you are. The body’s ecology is so fascinating.
    Brooks: What? Aaaargh! What’re you talking about, I’m having a heart attack!
    Doctor: Yes, yes. Isn’t it interesting? Your blood pressure … Well I’ve never seen anything like it!
    Brooks!: Can’t. Breathe. Please …
    Doctor: Oh, no, no, no. I wouldn’t dare interupt the frantic dance of your cardiovascular system! That would be blashphemy. In fact, I feel it’s rude of me to watch such a wondorous event. I’ll leave you to it then.
    Brooks: !!~*

  73. A Jew, the White Male of Fascist Liberalism said,

    January 25, 2008 at 21:23

    I am at work (at a major investment firm at that) and just bust out laughing at the first paragraph of this posting. That is EXACTLY how the “free market” fundamentalists view the economy. Anything that causes anything to go wrong is a “distortion” of the market’s perfect purity, which if left absolutely alone would inevitably result in utopia (at least for the top .0000000000000001% of the population, the rest of us being “distortions” in our own right).

    Great opening!

  74. ortho_bob said,

    January 25, 2008 at 21:27

    Do I detect the whiff of a Brooksian book proposal in the air?

    Bobos on Wall Street: The Ecology Narrative And Why Everything Is And Always Will Be Wonderful.

  75. sxwarren said,

    January 25, 2008 at 21:28

    ” . . . an ED doctor . . .”

    Erectile Dysfunction?
    Economic Disaster?

  76. Fats Durston said,

    January 25, 2008 at 21:31

    (Lulz, on Bobo’s ecological doc, btw.)

    I know this should’ve been in the last thread, but does Jonah realize what he’s doing with his White Nationalist? (The “proof” is, of course, a citation of a citation of a citation, but that seems to be properly Goldbergian in its evidentiary standards.)

    Jonah’s arguing that yes, White Nationalism is indeed on the right. They’re on “his side.” (I guess, though, if we take this expert’s words, Neo-Nazism is on the left….)

    I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone cite (however circuitously) White Nationalists as intellectual allies, as rock-solid sources of truth, as fellow political travelers, in an (embarrassingly lousy) attempt to win an argument. It’s like the reverse of his entire book; it’s nearly backwards Godwining.

    I suspect the post will be taken down when this dawns on Jonah, though I may be giving him too much credit.

  77. (Lex) Skink Tyree (Azagthoth) said,

    January 25, 2008 at 21:34

    My ass is ringing in confusion. The Nazis at Gates of Vienna blog said that comparing anyone to Hitler rendered any debate too absurd and therefore null and void. Then today, Pamela posted Hitler and Muhammad at Atlas Shrugs. Will they defend her since it’s Muhammad? What will they do? This is a tough call…..

    BTW, is Billy Mays a Nazi? In any case, where the hell did he come from with his miracle products? My ass is on fire.

  78. Blue Buddha said,

    January 25, 2008 at 21:35

    RobW said,

    January 25, 2008 at 20:43

    Willy Wonka was a deranged robber baron who sold addictive products, maintained a labor force of slaves whose skin color was different, and killed children in bizarre and amusing ways, ostensibly to teach the rest of us lessons about morality.

    Sounds like a good model for the American economy. What could possibly go wrong?

    http://youtube.com/watch?v=7Ao4p6Wi56g

  79. Jim said,

    January 25, 2008 at 21:37

    The Goldberg Theorem: The first person to question the use of the term “Nazis” in an argument is almost certainly a fascist.

  80. sxwarren said,

    January 25, 2008 at 21:39

    “Maybe this year banks will change their pay structure so there’s not so much emphasis on short-term results. Maybe companies will change their boards to improve scrutiny over complex new instruments.”

    Maybe Britney Spears will win the Nobel Prize for Child Rearing. Maybe Brooksie will stop snorting so much ass-pixie dust.

    Anything’s possible.

  81. Jim said,

    January 25, 2008 at 21:41

    Ass pixies?
    Are you sure you don’t mean “ass weasels”? Because this sure seems to have some Brooksian ring to it:
    “Those poor schmucks… they drive Chevrolets, shop at Wal-Mart, never miss an episode of Friends. These are Americans. “

  82. Tim (the other one) said,

    January 25, 2008 at 21:42

    Look, I just made a Lego swastika !!

  83. kiki said,

    January 25, 2008 at 21:42

    Do I detect the whiff of a Brooksian book proposal in the air?

    Bobos on Wall Street: The Ecology Narrative And Why Everything Is And Always Will Be Wonderful.

    Capitalist Socialist Fascisto-Communism: From Wibble Frap Blargh To Gribba Gribba Hey.

  84. Tim (the other one) said,

    January 25, 2008 at 21:45

    Those of you without children have never experienced the “joy” of playing Candyland. It is the game that never ends ! You have to swipe your hand across the board and flip over in a rage before the game will end. This really confuses the children too.

  85. Fats Durston said,

    January 25, 2008 at 21:49

    Tim: to help with your anger issues.

    The key to sane Candyland is cheating. Palm the cards you need to let the child win, and re-introduce them on top of the deck after a reasonable interval.

  86. Susan of Texas said,

    January 25, 2008 at 21:51

    No, you lose very quickly, before you get stuck in the peppermint forest forever. It helps to have a few cards up your sleeve. Note: for Shoots and Ladders, you will need loaded dice.

  87. MileHi Hawkeye said,

    January 25, 2008 at 21:52

    Tim (the other one)

    I may be childless, but I experienced the joy of playing Candyland as a kid. In true youngest child fashion, if I wasn’t winning, I simply told my Mother that my siblings were cheating. Good times, good times.

    I was more of a Sorry! and Uno fan though. Those required real skill–and taught many life lessons.

  88. Fozzetti said,

    January 25, 2008 at 21:53

    One can win (or deliberately loose Candyland. Its Shoots & Ladders (Chutes & Ladders) tha is so infuriating!

  89. HemlockEcho said,

    January 25, 2008 at 21:54

    Short Brooks: There are two ways to view the crisis: a.) as a bunch of greedy people getting rich off an economic crisis, or b.) as a bunch of greedy people getting rich off an economic crisis but who may gradually stop.

  90. Susan of Texas said,

    January 25, 2008 at 21:56

    D’oh, chutes. My kids don’t need encouragement to shoot ladders.

  91. Fozzetti said,

    January 25, 2008 at 21:56

    So, is Rove sending out the Repug Daily Talking Points, or could it be…. Bush himself? that might explain the confusion.

  92. t4toby said,

    January 25, 2008 at 21:57

    Funny, Fats, I never thought of you as the child rearing type.

  93. t4toby said,

    January 25, 2008 at 21:58

    I’m a big fan of Bong Uno.

  94. pedestrian said,

    January 25, 2008 at 21:58

    The key to sane Candyland is cheating. Palm the cards you need to let the child win, and re-introduce them on top of the deck after a reasonable interval.

    The downside is, your child may grow up to be Megan McArdle.

  95. Rightwingsnarkle said,

    January 25, 2008 at 22:01

    I’ll have to trust you on this one, since I refuse to read anything from this idiot you call ‘Brooks.’

  96. actor212 said,

    January 25, 2008 at 22:09

    Shorter David Brooks: If you shut up, the doctor will give you a lollipop after probing your anus.

  97. kingubu said,

    January 25, 2008 at 22:10

    I’m a big fan of Bong Uno.

    Details, dammit!

  98. MileHi Hawkeye said,

    January 25, 2008 at 22:12

    “Bong Uno”

    Yes, do tell!

  99. mextremist said,

    January 25, 2008 at 22:16

    kiki:

    Capitalist Socialist Fascisto-Communism: From Wibble Frap Blargh To Gribba Gribba Hey!!!

    L fuckin O to the pantloading L, man, that’s some funny shit

  100. Fats Durston said,

    January 25, 2008 at 22:17

    The downside is, your child may grow up to be Megan McArdle.

    HA HA.
    *Scrambles to introduce awareness of pain and suffering into three-year-old’s life.*

  101. Robert M. said,

    January 25, 2008 at 22:23

    Bong Uno

    Although I lack direct experience, I imagine the main difference would be in the preparation stage. The game itself would be remarkably similar to traditional Uno, except that it’s vastly funnier.

    Also, every time someone plays a Reverse card, that bastard has to make the next Doritos run.

  102. Dagoril said,

    January 25, 2008 at 22:23

    Everytime Bobo speaks, I think I’ve just heard the stupidest thing ever. And then he speaks again, and like magic, the bar has been raised!

    We should confine him in a room with people selected randomly from Little Green Fascists, or from Redstate, and see what happens when massive quantities of stupid are concentrated in a small area. My guess is the room would implode, and form its own pocket Universe of Teh Stupid.

    This would not be a bad thing, as our Universe would be free of them at last.

  103. SomeNYGuy said,

    January 25, 2008 at 22:24

    actor212 said,

    Shorter David Brooks: If you shut up, the doctor will give you a lollipop after probing your anus.

    I assume that the example “doctor” is just one of many possibilities in this sentence.

  104. JoGod WinGold said,

    January 25, 2008 at 22:27

    it’s nearly backwards Godwining

    Wingodding. Which in turn leads to Godgodding, which is of course a Winwin. And that is why you cannot defeat my arguments. Indeed they are irrefutable. It’s true. I have a flow chart that proves it.

  105. PeeJ said,

    January 25, 2008 at 22:39

    Bong Uno? Sounds like a winner.

    The mighty goog says:
    Results 1 – 10 of about 34 for “bong uno”. (0.21 seconds)

    Nothing there that’s relevant.

    Time to register BongUno.com

  106. Gary Ruppert said,

    January 25, 2008 at 22:59

    The fact is, the anti-capitalism and anti-free market sentiments here smack of class warfare, which is not what America is about. Especially here in the Heartland. Stop whining and work harder.

  107. actor212 said,

    January 25, 2008 at 23:00

    I assume that the example “doctor” is just one of many possibilities in this sentence.

    Yes, and each will take turns.

  108. actor212 said,

    January 25, 2008 at 23:01

    Gary Ruppert said,

    January 25, 2008 at 22:59

    The fact is, the anti-capitalism and anti-free market sentiments here smack of class warfare

    We’re all about the free markets, Gary.

    In fact, we just dumped you in the discount bin.

  109. Gary Ruppert said,

    January 25, 2008 at 23:05

    From the liberal fascism blog. This situation is scandalous in Canada. They censor books that are not left liberal bias there.

    Trouble In Canada

    Argh, sigh, argh:

    Mr. Goldberg:

    Who is marketing your book?

    One has to wait 3 to 6 weeks to get a copy of Liberal Fascism at Amazon.com.

    In Canada, the major (almost a monopoly) book chain Indigo/Chapters do not have copies in stock. (They have mulitiple copies each, mind you, of the latest leftist-liberal “best sellers.”) I (here in southwestern Ontario) and other friends I have corresponded with from Toronto to Vancouver are unable to find copies of Liberal Fascism in Canadian book stores. Out of stock on ChaptersOnline too. And Amazon.ca. This is alarming! Frustrating! Scandalous!

    Looking forward — desperately! — to getting a copy of Liberal Fascism and reading it with much pleasure.

  110. t4toby said,

    January 25, 2008 at 23:06

    Although I lack direct experience, I imagine the main difference would be in the preparation stage. The game itself would be remarkably similar to traditional Uno, except that it’s vastly funnier.

    Also, every time someone plays a Reverse card, that bastard has to make the next Doritos run.

    Pretty much, except the Skip & Reverse become rather diabolical.

    Also, You may need to remove the Draw 4 card depending upon your resources.

    And just like real Uno, one guy is always like, “I’m always getting skipped!”

  111. Ruthie said,

    January 25, 2008 at 23:11

    [Jumps up and down.] “It’s a ma-ha-ha-ha-gical leopleuridon, Bobo! It’s going to tell us the way to Rock Candy Mountain!”

    How much do you think Bobo’s kidneys would be worth on the magical free market economy?

  112. Hoosier X said,

    January 25, 2008 at 23:17

    The free market?

    Where big corporations get big subsidies from the government and are thus enabled to drive out honest small-business men who are not subsidized by the government?

    This corporate socialism. Is that the free market you are talking about?

    What did Adam Smith have to say about subsidies? I wonder …

    Gary, you, like all conservatives, must be an expert on Adam Smith. Could you look into that for us?

  113. Ruthie said,

    January 25, 2008 at 23:18

    This is what’s known as moral hazard, which means all the big financial cats know that if they fuck up BIG ENOUGH the government (i.e. the people aka the “suckers” as they’re known in the trade) will save them every time.
    I like how he makes it seem like financial analysts and brokers get caught up in their own swooning over these “new-fangled” hard to understand corn-falootin new securities like a 11 year old girl reading Tiger Beat.

    Perhaps the “little people” might have a better grasp of these complicated financial matters if they realized that the biggest f***-ups on Wall Street and the CBT were often pulling down salaries and bonuses in the seven figures–WHILE THEY WERE F***-ING UP.

  114. Ruthie said,

    January 25, 2008 at 23:19

    And it can’t be the Goldberg Principle as that has already been assigned a value. Someone more creative than me come up with something.

    Goldberg Variations?

  115. kenga said,

    January 25, 2008 at 23:24

    Pretty much, except the Skip & Reverse become rather diabolical.

    Also, You may need to remove the Draw 4 card depending upon your resources.

    I would like to join your mailing list!

  116. paul said,

    January 25, 2008 at 23:26

    And here I thought that markets, financial or otherwise, were regulated and scrutinized man-made systems. Live and learn . . .

  117. Interrobang said,

    January 25, 2008 at 23:29

    t4toby — As a matter of fact, I’m right here. (I’m usually hanging out at Eschaton, but I’m TEH BOARED at work again today.)

    Muh friends call me ‘Bang, pard.

    Much as the snarksters are bringing the pure-d food-grade snark here, there is in fact a disturbing element of truth to the post. A truly unsettling number of people think that things like the economy Just Happen. It’s practically a central tenet of Modern, Serious™ Capitalism. I gotcher “Just Happened” right here, Bobo; it happened after I had to slap the Invisible Face because the Invisible Hand couldn’t keep itself off my extremely visible ass…

  118. Jerkstore said,

    January 25, 2008 at 23:29

    Congress just passed Goodwin’s Law, but it was vetoed

  119. t4toby said,

    January 25, 2008 at 23:30

    I would like to join your mailing list!

    People have those?

  120. Rightwingsnarkle said,

    January 25, 2008 at 23:50

    “Goldberg Variations?”

    Please, dear God, no.

    Then again, maybe we could dig up Glenn Gould and have him kick teh Load’s fat, flabby ass.

  121. Olexicon said,

    January 25, 2008 at 23:53

    Gary

    This is called supply and demand

    there is no demand so why should they ship in something for the cut-out bin

  122. Olexicon said,

    January 25, 2008 at 23:55

    there is nor market demand for the rantings of jonah golkdberg, since we have Ezra Levant, the Canadian equibilant

  123. sxwarren said,

    January 25, 2008 at 23:56

    Free market?

    What HoosierX said.

    Plus – there’s that recent thing in PA. Responding to consumer concern about milk from rBST-laden cows, some small capitalist Liberal Fascist dairy owners started truthfully labeling their milk as NOT coming from such cows. Whaddya know! They started getting more money for their milk. Something about supply and demand.

    And what does Monsanto (rBST-maker) and the rBST-using megadairies do? They protest this awful state of affairs to the PA Ag Commish who then forms an astorturf advisory board that, in turn, recommends that these “rBST-free” labels be banned for conferring an unfair advantage.

    Yep. There’s your fucking corporate version of “free-market capitalism” for ya.

  124. Candy said,

    January 25, 2008 at 23:59

    Ahem . . . if that’s my boardgame, where are my royalties?

    Suddlenly I have a hankering to listen to Zappa:

    When my royalty check comes I think I’m going to buy a Mustang. No, I think I’ll . . . I think I’ll get a Corvette. No, I think I’ll get a Harley Davidson. No, I don’t think I’ll buy any of those cars. I think what I will do is I will buy a boat. No, I won’t do that either. I think, ah, I’ll go into real estate. I think I would like to . . . I think I’d like to buy La Cienega Boulevard.

    I want to play Bong Uno right now, and listen to Frank. Instead, I think I’ll lie down and try not to dream about wingnuts. This Brooks cat has given me a headache.

  125. t4toby said,

    January 26, 2008 at 0:13

    Buno?

    Unong?

  126. Righteous Bubba said,

    January 26, 2008 at 0:15

    Whaddya know! They started getting more money for their milk.

    Once market telepaths beam this information into every consumer’s brain, envelopes of cash refunds and gummi bears will be mailed to everyone who bought the mislabeled milk.

  127. t4toby said,

    January 26, 2008 at 0:15

    Ungo-Bungo?

  128. MileHi Hawkeye said,

    January 26, 2008 at 0:15

    A nap? Man, must be nice. I’m listening to Son Volt trying to get my mind right ’cause I have to go out for cocktails amongst the wing d’nuts soon.

    BongUno will have to wait for later…

  129. Jennifer said,

    January 26, 2008 at 0:17

    Goldbergian Equivocations?

    Or Pantloadian Response (ref. “Pavlovian Response”)?
    Example: “Neweirt’s refusal to engage in a conversation which accepts as valid my re-definition of the concept of fascism is fascist on its very face.” A Pantloadian Response is one in which the twin concepts of “No, YOU are!” and “I’m Rubber, You’re Glue” are married and layered with flourishes of vocabulary to flummox the less intelligent (e.g. Jonah’s fans) into believing that something deep and wise has been said.

  130. sxwarren said,

    January 26, 2008 at 0:18

    There’s a Buno Road in Milford, MI where they do play a lot of Uno and I’ve done a few bong hits, though not at the same time.

    dammit

    BTW – I think the US imports most of its Unong from Thailand still.

  131. actor212 said,

    January 26, 2008 at 0:19

    Hooiser,

    Adam Smith on subsidies:

    “it has, I am afraid, been too common for vessels to fit out for the sole purpose of catching, not the fish, but the bounty”

    I’d say he didn’t like them much.

    I would have waited for Gary to post that, but I think he thinks Adam Smith is one of the guys on the cough drop box…

  132. pedestrian said,

    January 26, 2008 at 0:20

    Today’s Republicans think that they are the virtuous god-men capitalists of Ayn Rand novels, but are actually the craven corporate bureaucrats of Ayn Rand novels.

    Anyone who hasn’t read enough of her to follow my reference shouldn’t bother. There are too many good books out there.

  133. actor212 said,

    January 26, 2008 at 0:21

    This situation is scandalous in Canada. They censor books that are not left liberal bias there.

    But Gary! Just the other day, in your Bastion Booger PJs, you praised Canada as a model society because they elected a conservative PM!

  134. MileHi Hawkeye said,

    January 26, 2008 at 0:28

    “some small capitalist Liberal Fascist dairy owners started truthfully labeling their milk as NOT coming from such cows.”

    We have a liberal fascist dairy here that produces raw milk, but they can’t sell it to the public. Instead, you can buy a share of a cow. $50 a share, plus other costs. A tad expensive, but pretty cool.

  135. t4toby said,

    January 26, 2008 at 0:30

    in your Bastion Booger PJs

    Are those like Underoos?

  136. Typical Republican said,

    January 26, 2008 at 0:31

    Welfare to the wealthy helps the economy. (Somehow.)

    Welfare to the poor doesn’t do anything except keep poor people from starving.

    Liberals. Hmf.

  137. Blue Buddha said,

    January 26, 2008 at 0:32

    Olexicon said,

    January 25, 2008 at 23:53

    Gary

    This is called supply and demand

    there is no demand so why should they ship in something for the cut-out bin

    Remember, Gary likes supply side economics (ie: tax cuts).

  138. Fake Gary Rupert said,

    January 26, 2008 at 0:34

    The fact is, I do not know who Adam Smith is or what he has to do with capitalism or subsidies. I assume he is just another liberal fascist academic who wants to take wealth away from people who earned it and give it to the lazy poor so they can stock their homes with HDTVs and iPods, and drive around in Ferrarris.

  139. Howard Roark said,

    January 26, 2008 at 0:36

    I am so envious of all the fictional characters who were lucky enough to be in good books.

    Every time I see Cissy Hankshaw, I want to cry.

  140. sxwarren said,

    January 26, 2008 at 0:38

    Cow shares? What?

    You mean the Bastahds of Free Market Corporatism haven’t yet found a way to make that illegal?

  141. Righteous Bubba said,

    January 26, 2008 at 0:47

    Beat your hoards into cow shares!

  142. mikey said,

    January 26, 2008 at 1:03

    …they can’t sell it to the public. Instead, you can buy a share of a cow.

    They do the same thing in dry counties. If you live in a dry county, you can join a “private club” and pay a monthly fee for your “liquor locker”. The theory you’re not buying booze, it’s YOURS, you keep it in your locker. Thing is, there really aren’t any lockers and it’s not a private club, just a bar. But everybody plays along. I never understood why the bothered to actually BE a dry county.

    But mostly? I just like saying “liquor locker”.

    mikey

  143. Jennifer said,

    January 26, 2008 at 1:06

    I commented the other day at the Editors’ on their brilliant review of the Pantload Opus that after the monkey was done peeing in its own mouth, it joined 99 other monkeys in a room with 100 typewriters and over the course of the next 12 hours, they produced the cumulative works of Ayn Rand. And also smeared monkey poo all over the walls. But I repeat myself.

    Though to be completely honest, it was not a monkey but an orangutan, and my comment was helpfully edited by another person on the thread.

  144. Doctorb Science said,

    January 26, 2008 at 1:15

    Y’know, Godwin’s Law is simply that as a discussion on the internet goes on, the probability that someone will mention Hilter approaches one (why this doesn’t also apply to Bimmler or Ron Vibbentropp I don’t know). It does not state that the discussion is now no longer worth reading, although that is a fairly common interpretation and, actually, a common state of affairs.

  145. mikey said,

    January 26, 2008 at 1:18

    Before he so unfortunately changed his nym, the probability of a comment from Bimler showing up in a Sadly thread also approached one. But that was called the akavit law…

    mikey

  146. El Cid said,

    January 26, 2008 at 1:19

    The Jo’berg Variolations.

    How’s that for a vocabulary exercise.

  147. pedestrian said,

    January 26, 2008 at 1:19

    If you live in a dry county, you can join a “private club” and pay a monthly fee for your “liquor locker”.

    In such an environment, I can see how “liquor in the rear” is prudent, but I am relieved that “locker in the rear” is just an expression.

  148. t4toby said,

    January 26, 2008 at 1:21

    Liquor in the rear?

  149. Jennifer said,

    January 26, 2008 at 1:28

    Liquor in the rear?

    When I was in college, they were widening one of the streets near campus, and to do it, they had to chop off the front of a liquor store. The liquor store owners spraypainted an unfortunately worded sign onto the temporary plywood wall at the front to direct their customers to the new entry: “Ouch, this hurt. Entrance in rear.”

  150. pedestrian said,

    January 26, 2008 at 1:36

    “Ouch, this hurt. Entrance in rear.”

    Ouch indeed. At least it’s better than this one

  151. pedestrian said,

    January 26, 2008 at 1:36

    grrr

    http://www.boingboing.net/2006/10/05/funny-family-plannin.html

  152. Mailgnant Bouffant said,

    January 26, 2008 at 1:39

    mikey: There is an actual liquor store on Sunset Blvd. just west of
    Crescent Heights (& just east of the Chateau Marmont) called the “Liquor Locker.” I don’t know if reading the sign would be as enjoyable as saying it, but…

  153. blog said,

    January 26, 2008 at 1:41

    Hitler was a socialist who proceeded to exterminate all the socialists. Doh! Maybe there was a right-wing form of “control of the economy”?

  154. Mailgnant Bouffant said,

    January 26, 2008 at 1:43

    Photographic (101) proof.

  155. White Male, Jew of Liberal Fascism said,

    January 26, 2008 at 1:47

    Speaking of the wingut alternate universe: fun over at Hullaballoo with Bush’s legacy:

    http://digbysblog.blogspot.com/

    Fox News reporter Bret Baier “was granted unprecedented access by George W. Bush” to put together a one hour documentary that reflects back on his presidency. The documentary will air this Sunday night.

    Baier previewed his documentary — “George W. Bush: Fighting to the Finish” — on Fox News this afternoon. He said that what surprised him from the interview was the President’s repeated efforts to link himself to Abraham Lincoln:

    “We talked a lot about President Lincoln. And there’s going to be a lot of people out there who watch this hour and say, is he trying to equate himself with Lincoln?”

    “I tell you what — he thinks about Lincoln and the tough times that he had during the Civil War. 600,000 dead. The country essentially hated him when he was leaving office.”

    And the President reflects on that. This is a President who is really reflecting on his place in history.

    “Update: A number of readers have written in to point out how odd it is that Bush characterizes Lincoln as being hated when he was “leaving office,” as if he doesn’t know that Lincoln had actually just been reelected in a landslide, was despised only by those in the defeated south and was well … shot.”

    “I t makes you wonder if Bush even knows the sixth grade level history of Lincoln’s term. Of course, he does have a degree in history from Yale so it’s a little bit hard to believe that, but it’s been a long time and maybe he forgot. “

  156. I Really Enjoyed “Bobos’ In Paradise” « Beware The Man said,

    January 26, 2008 at 1:52

    [...] I sure wish I had his gift for writing.  Then I could be an unaccountable pundit, like Bobo and Bill Kristol!  Plus, rich! [...]

  157. Jennifer said,

    January 26, 2008 at 1:55

    “We talked a lot about President Lincoln. And there’s going to be a lot of people out there who watch this hour and say, is he trying to equate himself with Lincoln?”

    Well, why the fuck not? He compared himself to Washington at the 2000 Republican convention, Rove sent out blastfaxes talking about how “Churchillian” he is…he’s determined to cloud the legacy of every truly great man by suggesting that the shitstain he is measures up to their accomplishments and vision.

  158. Arky - Chuthuhlusexual said,

    January 26, 2008 at 1:56

    “Tinkerbell” is the Old English version of “Dingleberry”.

    Clap your hands if you believe!

  159. Snowwy said,

    January 26, 2008 at 2:21

    OK, Eww.

  160. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    January 26, 2008 at 2:28

    Of course, he does have a degree in history from Yale so it’s a little bit hard to believe that, but it’s been a long time and maybe he forgot. “

    The shrub got in thanks to his family connections. It was the 60s, I’m guessing he barely cracked a book.

    P.S. Speculate away.

  161. Gary Ruppert said,

    January 26, 2008 at 2:51

    The fact is that liberofascists have no respect for the free market.

    Too, my penis is huge. Ladies?

  162. Lesley said,

    January 26, 2008 at 2:56

    Above: the American economy in its natural state

    Where’s the pink jewel-encrusted pony?????????

  163. Bastion Booger said,

    January 26, 2008 at 3:09

    The truth is, the American economy is very prosperous under President Bush thanks to his tax cuts. Our economy is much more prosperous now than it was under President Clinton. This whole idea of a “recession” is all just a leftist plot designed to get a democrat elected, raise taxes, increase burdensome government regulations and abolish Capitalism and the Free Market. We here in the Heartland are on to you liberals and we will not let your socialist anti-Free Market agenda succeed. Mitt Romney 08!

  164. Smut Clyde said,

    January 26, 2008 at 3:12

    Oddly enough, the German verb bimmeln translates as “to jingle, to tinkle, to ring”. Ein Bimmler would be a small jingling bell, or (if you like) a tinkerbell.
    That’s as good a reason as any for changing my nym.

  165. Jennifer said,

    January 26, 2008 at 3:22

    The truth is, the American economy is very prosperous under President Bush thanks to his tax cuts. Our economy is much more prosperous now than it was under President Clinton.

    Sorry, but the numbers say otherwise, and we all know that numbers don’t lie; Republicans do.

  166. g said,

    January 26, 2008 at 3:24

    Our economy is much more prosperous now than it was under President Clinton.

    Sadly, no

  167. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    January 26, 2008 at 3:24

    It’s just as good a reason to change it back, Herr Doktor.

  168. mikey said,

    January 26, 2008 at 3:28

    Interestingly, there are many who say the verb mikey also means “to tinkle”. Also, they say, it can mean “to fart, to belch”.

    So I guess (gas?) to be safe, I’d better keep it…

    mikey

  169. Gary Ruppert said,

    January 26, 2008 at 3:30

    Mitt Romney 08!

    Word.

    I think we both just exposed ourselves as parodies.

  170. mikey said,

    January 26, 2008 at 3:39

    #

    Gary Ruppert said,

    January 26, 2008 at 2:51

    The fact is that liberofascists have no respect for the free market.

    Too, my penis is huge. Ladies?
    #

    Lesley said,

    January 26, 2008 at 2:56

    Above: the American economy in its natural state

    Where’s the pink jewel-encrusted pony?????????

    Are you certain it’s not a Huge, Jewel Encrusted Penis?

    Just asking…

    mikey

  171. Smut Clyde said,

    January 26, 2008 at 3:43

    Further research reveals that in Austrian German, ein Bimmler is a tram-driver (on account of all the bell-tinkling). It seems to have a few other meanings but they are so obscene that Google Language refuses to translate them.

  172. tigrismus said,

    January 26, 2008 at 3:55

    Maybe “Smut Bimmler” would be a good compromise? Or “Schmutz Bimmler” for the true LibFa Stimmung?

  173. blog said,

    January 26, 2008 at 3:56

    Goldberg’s book is a remarkable achievement in this respect-It seems to consist entirely of outright lies or logical fallacies. Maybe students will study him as a primer in debased logic. If the fascists were decadent that must mean that Golberg was a fascist.

  174. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    January 26, 2008 at 3:57

    Sturmgeschütz Bimmler, perhaps?

  175. blog said,

    January 26, 2008 at 4:00

    Here is the logic:

    The Nazis consisted of pornographers, pederasts and homosexuals;

    The Nazis were decadent;

    Goldberg’s logic is decadent;

    Goldberg is a fascist.

  176. Smut Clyde said,

    January 26, 2008 at 4:16

    Es braucht mehr Kuh-bimmler.

  177. RobW said,

    January 26, 2008 at 4:20

    That reminds me, where’s Herr Doktor been?

  178. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    January 26, 2008 at 4:22

    More Kuh-bell?

    Damn, I’m just gonna have to go with the B-52s again.

    (Don’t shoot me, Smiling Mortician!)

  179. Tim (the other one) said,

    January 26, 2008 at 4:32

    Hey thanks for the Candyland tips you guys. Now that my boys are 24 and 18, I’m so going to kick their asses at that game !!

    What ?

  180. blog said,

    January 26, 2008 at 4:39

    We could rename JG’s book-Liberal Fascism: a secret tour of my mind from Lie to Logical Fallacy. It’s kind of like an autobiography. It doesn’t descibe history. It describes himself.

  181. The Return of The Attack of Arky Cthulhusexual said,

    January 26, 2008 at 4:43

    Are you certain it’s not a Huge, Jewel Encrusted Penis?

    Better hang on to that.

    (NSFW)

  182. blog said,

    January 26, 2008 at 4:50

    I mean there is no real history in the entire book. Also, he gets Nietzsche wrong, he gets Hegel wrong. He talks about existentialism, but he clearly never read Kierkegaard or Heidegger. He’s never actually read any of these authors. The book is a tour of his dementia.

  183. Dr Zen said,

    January 26, 2008 at 4:54

    Brooks is only wrong in thinking that the two “narratives” are distinct.

  184. Susan of Texas said,

    January 26, 2008 at 4:56

    I think it’s time to revisit “A FIsh Called Wanda.”

    Wanda: To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people! I’ve known sheep that could outwit you. I’ve worn dresses with higher IQs. But you think you’re an intellectual, don’t you, ape?

    Otto: Apes don’t read philosophy.

    Wanda: Yes, they do, Otto. They just don’t understand it.

  185. Lesley said,

    January 26, 2008 at 4:57

    Gary Ruppert’s sex life

  186. mikey said,

    January 26, 2008 at 5:05

    #

    Lesley said,

    January 26, 2008 at 4:57

    Gary Ruppert’s sex life

    I LOVE that. It’s one of those things I laughed out loud at, but I still don’t get exactly WHY it’s funny…

    mikey

  187. Smiling Mortician said,

    January 26, 2008 at 5:08

    I still don’t get exactly WHY it’s funny…

    I think it’s the pile of debris on the side, trying not to look . . .

  188. mikey said,

    January 26, 2008 at 5:10

    Goddam. I made a chicken alfredo tonight that is so good I had to run outside and dance around in the rain.

    It’s so good I love gary ruppert.

    It’s so crazy stupid good I feel at peace with the entire world.

    Damn, that’s a good alfredo…

    mikey

  189. Smiling Mortician said,

    January 26, 2008 at 5:11

    More Wanda: “The central message of Buddhism is not every man for himself.”

    Dunno. Just seemed appropriate.

  190. Smiling Mortician said,

    January 26, 2008 at 5:15

    Well, I made some boffo chicken tacos al carbon with an eye-watering toss of fresh jalapenos and cilantro, but it didn’t make me dance in the rain.

    ‘Course, it hasn’t been raining here all week which is, well, spooky, given where I live. Kinda makes me want to shoot ITTDGY and his B-52s for some reason. Second thought, maybe I’ll just drink a B-52.

  191. blog said,

    January 26, 2008 at 5:16

    Is Goldberg the epitome and apogee of Mass Man? A self referential jumble of pop culture references to the great learning of the past? A man who can’t be bothered to learn anything but mass culture and who studies nothing in depth so as to confirm his own prejudices? It’s a little frightening.

  192. Smut Clyde said,

    January 26, 2008 at 5:22

    Møøse trained by TUTTE HERMSGERVORDENBROTBORDA
    Special Møøse Effects OLAF PROT
    Møøse Costumes SIGGI CHURCHILL
    Møøse Choreographed by HORST PROT III

  193. Smut Clyde said,

    January 26, 2008 at 5:24

    That last Møøse-related comment would look better if it was not preceded by blog’s complaint about self-referential jumbles of pop-culture references.

  194. Some Guy said,

    January 26, 2008 at 5:25

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Big_Boo#Boo

    Republican Economic Principles.

  195. mikey said,

    January 26, 2008 at 5:29

    Well, I made some boffo chicken tacos al carbon with an eye-watering toss of fresh jalapenos and cilantro, but it didn’t make me dance in the rain.

    Hee hee. I think I’ve told you guys before, everybody in this little bitty condo complex is from taiwan. It’s like serious segregation. I rent from my taiwanese landlord, so I’m the gaijin.

    My neighbors are conflicted. They recognize that I’m a big stupid, but they also get that I like them and I respect their history and culture, even while I won’t be a party to their happy little racisms. But they do shake their heads and giggle at my behaviors, which makes me behave a little more outrageously because, well, it entertains them, and they are really nice people.

    So when I have to run out the door and dance around in the rain, or when my friend kimberley comes over and we waltz in the cul de sac, or when I try to explain to the young gangsters that I don’t have a problem with them, per se, but if they keep trying to set up shop selling crack in the cul de sac, where we have families and children, I won’t be happy about it, but I WILL kill them and bury their bodies in the foothills.

    Ultimately, we have fun, and to be honest, they forgive my idiosyncrasies much more than other Caucasians ever have…

    mikey

  196. jeff said,

    January 26, 2008 at 5:43

    It can hurt at first, but it’s very beautiful with someone you love.

  197. blog said,

    January 26, 2008 at 5:54

    Ok, I’ll explain what that sentence meant. The pop references are self referential because they do not actually describe the things that are being referenced. The author does not describe the past nor the authors he refers to. What then is he describing? He is describing his self, which is nothing more than a conglomeration of the shallow, apochryphal understandings of mass culture.

  198. Lesley said,

    January 26, 2008 at 5:55

    I LOVE that. It’s one of those things I laughed out loud at, but I still don’t get exactly WHY it’s funny…

    The moose may be an objectophile. The caption reads Apparently the “courtship” went on for eight hours and the bison was moved eight inches forward on its pedestal.

  199. Smut Clyde said,

    January 26, 2008 at 5:59

    Thanks, blog. I feel better now about using jumbles of pop-culture references, as long as they’re not self-referential.

  200. Kevin said,

    January 26, 2008 at 6:06

    Hollow sounds are caused by global warming.

  201. Lesley said,

    January 26, 2008 at 6:09

    There’s plenty more that’s strange and lovely where that moose came from.

    Like this delightful tidbit

    The Times reports:

    A pet dog missed the family’s dead cat so much that he dug up his grave and brought the body back into the house.

    When Oscar’s owners woke up the next morning they discovered the dog curled up beside Arthur, the late cat, in his basket.

    His owners, Robert Bell, 73, and his wife, Mavis, of Wigan, Greater Manchester, believe that the dog had licked the cat clean before falling asleep.

    Mr Bell said that the two pets were constant companions. Arthur, who was a large cat, used to help Oscar to climb on to the sofa.

  202. blog said,

    January 26, 2008 at 6:11

    A whole book of pop culture references to the philosophers of the past wihtout ever having read the philosophers can not be taken seriously. For example, he describes Nietszche as a moral relativist. That isn’t even wrong. He’s never even read Nietszche if he believes that. Then he impugns existentialism, based on nothing and without any evidence that he’s read Kierkegard or any of the other existentialists like Sartre. It’s a whole book of prejudices and misconceptions that have nothing to do with anything but himself.

  203. Rightwingsnarkle said,

    January 26, 2008 at 6:13

    “Tinkerbell” is the Old English version of “Dingleberry”.

    And Dingleberries was the name of a short-lived pickup bar near Coolidge Corner, Brookline (MA) back in the late ’70′s.

    Their short-livedness might’ve been due to their slogan – ‘Where singles on the mingle get down to the dingle.’

  204. John O said,

    January 26, 2008 at 6:19

    Have I mentioned, lately, what a huge dick Chris Matthews is?

    Gotta go to bed. Bacardi and Diet is killing me. In a very pleasant but hard-to-type way.

    Enuf said. Jonah the Whale is a patronage moron who is lucky to have been writing all his life, besides being a wingnut-welfare recipient. Why bother with his welfare ass?

    And Bobo’s intereesting theory on economics rates his own self right up there with Jonah the intellectual.

    I’ve said it before: Why didn’t I go “right?” I’d be the smartest fucking guy on Planet Retard. And rich.

    Take me out. I deserve it, for not being smart enough to climb on the Wingnut Welfare Train.

  205. Gary Ruppert said,

    January 26, 2008 at 7:12

    The fact is, your bias against reality will cost you readers. Here in the Heartland, we love freedom our president and our troops, unlike you traiters.

  206. MileHi Hawkeye said,

    January 26, 2008 at 7:24

    Hey Gary–

    Are you a virgin? I think you are.

  207. Smut Clyde said,

    January 26, 2008 at 7:34

    Apparently the “courtship” went on for eight hours and the bison was moved eight inches forward on its pedestal.
    Additional images: http://cellar.org/showthread.php?t=15755
    Because a day without møøse porn is like breakfast without beer.

    A pet dog missed the family’s dead cat so much that he dug up his grave and brought the body back into the house.
    There’s no justice! How come when a dog digs up a grave and drags the body home to bed, everyone thinks it’s cute; but when I
    It’s liberal fascism, I tell ya!

  208. Tim (the other one) said,

    January 26, 2008 at 7:58

    “There’s no justice! How come when a dog digs up a grave and drags the body home to bed, everyone thinks it’s cute; but when I
    It’s liberal fascism, I tell ya!”

    Liberal double standards Clyde. Liberal hypocrisy.

  209. RobW said,

    January 26, 2008 at 10:01

    blog, the key is to simply redefine words like “philosophers” and “moral relativism” and “existentialism” and “evidence” until they mean whatever it is he wants them to mean. Toss in some schoolyard insults in the process. And refer criticisms of specific passages to the criticized passage as if that proves something. Repeat as necessary until critics give up in disgust, then revel in the mouthbreathers’ adoration. Try it! It’s easy, fun, and profitable!

  210. actor212 said,

    January 26, 2008 at 22:43

    Gary Ruppert said,
    January 26, 2008 at 7:12

    The fact is, your bias against reality will cost you readers.

    Gary? Concern trolling is so unbecoming of you.

    Besides, you know, we have all those deep Hollywood pockets. Don’t worry about the costs: Jesus willl provide.

  211. freejack said,

    January 27, 2008 at 1:29

    Wait!
    Didn’t St. Ronnie teach us that greed is good? When did the ‘Greed Narrative’ become the bad guys and (of all things) the ‘Ecology Narrative’ become the good guys?
    This whole ‘green marketing’ thing is soooooo confusing.

  212. freejack said,

    January 27, 2008 at 1:31

    And BoBo wanted us to entrust the Trust Fund surplus to these ‘green’ people playing Candyland for profit.

    Whata’ dick.

    http://www.nytimes.com/2005/01/08/opinion/8brooks.html

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