Jan
21

Help An Author Out




Posted at 5:04 by Jillian

I’m planning on writing a book called “Conservative Communism: The Collectivist Temptation from Mao Zedong to the Hoover Institute”. Basically, the premise of the book is that even though people think that Communism is a phenomenon of the Left, it should be obvious to any serious scholar that Communists have more in common with today’s conservatives than they do today’s progressives. I mean, Lenin outlawed prostitution, and Focus on the Family wants to keep prostitution outlawed. Mao thought all businesses should be supported by the government, and modern conservatives think that the government should avoid taxing businesses and give them all kinds of grants and free money. You can see that they’re basically the same thing. Anyway, I’ve only just started working on this, but I can guarantee you that this argument has never been made in such detail or with such care.

But I really need some help from some of my loyal readers. You see, I’m working on a chapter of the book which requires me to read a lot about and by Russell Kirk. There’s simply no way I can read it all, nor do I really need to. But if there are any real experts on Kirk out there - regardless of ideological affiliation (as long as you’re a liberal) - I’d love to ask you a few questions in case I’m missing something.


Update: From the inimitable Jeff Fecke in the comments:

conscom.jpg

298 Comments »

  1. a different brad said,

    January 21, 2008 at 5:06

    I’m totally an expert on Captain Kirk, and he agrees with you.

  2. do not want said,

    January 21, 2008 at 5:13

    I find this post to be the most serious and detailed examination of communism that anyone has ever attempted, and I feel that never before has anyone ever attempted to answer these questions with such thought and care.

  3. ed said,

    January 21, 2008 at 5:14

    That’s awesome. I’m totally stoked you’re doing this, but what I’m most concerned about is the cover. What will it look like? Would it, for example, make a good t-shirt?

  4. Jillian said,

    January 21, 2008 at 5:15

    Why don’t you guys design a cover for my new book?

    Make sure to keep it serious, though, because I am a serious scholar.

  5. Alicia Morgan said,

    January 21, 2008 at 5:15

    I will immediately purchase this book. Communism and conservatism are exactly the same, as any fool can see, and a book that points this out will be no doubt rocket to the top of the bestseller lists.

  6. Some Guy said,

    January 21, 2008 at 5:18

    I have yet to find even one right wing blog attempt to debate this serious and well-researched book of yours on any serious level.

  7. cokane said,

    January 21, 2008 at 5:19

    good stuff

  8. Bastion Booger said,

    January 21, 2008 at 5:19

    The truth is, as Jonah Goldberg so eliquently pointed out in his book, that communism and fascism are the same phenomenon with different names there is no difference. The fascists were the browns and the communists were the reds and they only became enemies in the mid 1930s for political not ideological reasons. Both fascism and communism are of the left of which modern day American liberalism is an offshoot of.

  9. J— said,

    January 21, 2008 at 5:20

    For the cover: Reagan with a Stalin mustache.

  10. Susan of Texas said,

    January 21, 2008 at 5:23

    It should be a little red book, with this on its cover.

  11. craigie said,

    January 21, 2008 at 5:24

    Don’t forget to say that you’re not equating conservatives with nazis, just because they both like killing people they disagree with. To equate conservatives with nazis would be over the top, so of course you would never say such a thing.

    Many people, however think that conservatives are basically nazis. Not you, though. Indeed, the fact that conservatives are not nazis is central to your point.

  12. jeff said,

    January 21, 2008 at 5:24

    Nice bleg. I wish I knew something juicy about Russel Kirk. Sorry! I similarly don’t know anything about Mao. I’m an ideal reader, I’d guess, of your book.

  13. cokane said,

    January 21, 2008 at 5:26

    BTW this sucks but now the superbowl is going to be more NYC vs Boston crap, as if you guys weren’t satisfied infecting baseball with your teams’ dominance–you must have it all I guess!

  14. Fluffybunnyfeet said,

    January 21, 2008 at 5:27

    Russel Kirk - yeah, wasn’t he that cool black jazz player who could, like blow outta both sides of his mouth?

  15. ed said,

    January 21, 2008 at 5:29

    Is the history of Conservative Communism secret? If so, who has been keeping it secret for all these years? I’ll bet it’s that Liberal Media.

  16. J— said,

    January 21, 2008 at 5:29

    Let me just say that I assure you that my dissertation will be the first dissertation to cite your book, Jillian. You don’t even have to have it finished. I’ll still cite it!

  17. Susan of Texas said,

    January 21, 2008 at 5:35

    Since I know absoltely nothing about political history but can use google, I am the ideal person to contribute to your bleg. Russell Kirk was influence by Burke, who wrote a treatise advocating anarchism called A Vindication of Natural Society. Some anarchists are collectivists, communists are colectivists, therefore KIrk is a commie, and his little running dog followers too.

  18. Bistroist said,

    January 21, 2008 at 5:35

    Culture War - Cultural Revolution

    Hellooo!

    (Obviously, I’m not saying Billo is a Maoist, far from it. I merely point out, in a serious and scholarly manner of course, that his beliefs, words, and actions bear a number of striking similarities to that of a crazed follower of Maoist doctrine.)

  19. Lawnguylander said,

    January 21, 2008 at 5:36

    As a person with no advanced degrees and almost no awareness of this Russell Kirk person I’m perfectly qualified to help you out here. I can’t be criticized for being a member of the guild or for being too close to the subject matter and I’m unlikely to force any hard intellectual distinctions because how the fuck would I? I’ll half bake something and get back to you.

    And be advised, the quintessential conservative communist isn’t a member of the shock brigades; it is a white male venture capitalist with a MBA from Brown or Swarthmore.

  20. Little Boots said,

    January 21, 2008 at 5:36

    Mike Huckabee hates teh gay, AND SO DOES CASTRO!

  21. Dagoril said,

    January 21, 2008 at 5:36

    The truth is, Ayn Rand was a well-known conservative communist.

    In Atlas Shrugged, she attacked e. e. cummings for his eccentric and idiosyncratic capitalization. She wanted to stamp out his individuality and force him to join her conservative collective!

    Indeed, I am certain it is central to your point.

  22. Bistroist said,

    January 21, 2008 at 5:37

    Some might argue that my previous comment would have been more effective if the first link hadn’t crapped out on me. This, indeed, is central to my point.

  23. jeff said,

    January 21, 2008 at 5:37

    One problem you’ll run into is that it turns out Marx is a conservative communist, just like Hitler.

  24. Karl Steel said,

    January 21, 2008 at 5:41

    Anyone want to photoshop some socialist realism and put Reagan’s head on the farmer? Or the tracker? (perhaps swap out Lenin’s Head for Reagan’s?)

  25. jeff said,

    January 21, 2008 at 5:46

    That awesome Maoist picture-book version of “What’s Liberal” should be a source of inspiration. Wish I could find the link.

  26. Jeff Fecke said,

    January 21, 2008 at 5:46

    I photoshop because I care.

  27. Susan of Texas said,

    January 21, 2008 at 5:46

    What can be more communist than religion? Everyone knows only Republicans are religious, so those hippie communes that call themselves rectories or convents are republican too,

  28. Little Boots said,

    January 21, 2008 at 5:47

    Didn’t Reagan come to an agreement with Gorbachev? And didn’t W gaze deep into the soul of KGB agent Putin and find it good? I’m seeing a pattern. Are you? And don’t get me started on Nixon and Mao.

  29. Bistroist said,

    January 21, 2008 at 5:47

    It can safely be inferred from the existence of a phenomenon such as Left Communism that all other communist schools must, logically, be right wing.
    The power of Bordiga compels you!

  30. jeff said,

    January 21, 2008 at 5:49

    Aha…

    Here it is:

    http://homepage.mac.com/cclarke3/FileSharing6.html

  31. a different brad said,

    January 21, 2008 at 5:50

    Oh, jebus, J–. That’s just…. hell, considering how Jonah basically allows for Christianity to be fascist, even Oral Roberts won’t accept this crap as a dissertation. Nevermind accepted, he should get down on his knees and orally pleasure any student who can get such a project accepted by their committee to begin with.

  32. Little Boots said,

    January 21, 2008 at 5:51

    Okay, this I do know about Russell Kirk. Like Brezhnev, not a huge fan of Israel.

  33. Jeff Fecke said,

    January 21, 2008 at 5:54

    Like Stalin, Russell Kirk was a conspicuous consumer of oxygen.

    I’m told that Hitler also consumed oxygen; I believe this only bolsters my point.

  34. Cangrejero said,

    January 21, 2008 at 5:58

    The People’s Temptation from The Little Red Book to Little Green Footballs.

    This is serious, people.

  35. Little Boots said,

    January 21, 2008 at 6:05

    This is serious, people.

    No question! The Conservative-Communist Internationale-Nationale is the greatest threat to world peace since Mao won his version of the rural primaries.

  36. Bistroist said,

    January 21, 2008 at 6:07

    Conservative Communism: Collectivist Consumerism from We Are The World to Toys”R”Us®

  37. bob the hog said,

    January 21, 2008 at 6:07

    Russell Kirk starred in “Big Trouble in Little China” and “Escape From New York”.
    .

  38. Some Guy said,

    January 21, 2008 at 6:10

    The fact is that Conservatives are exactly like Nazis, Communists, cannibals, Heaven’s Gate, the Manson Family, and Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs; and anyone who says differently is a treasonous lying traitor who hates America.

  39. Little Boots said,

    January 21, 2008 at 6:10

    Russell Kirk starred in “Big Trouble in Little China” and “Escape From New York”.

    China. New York. Case closed! (Ya know who else escaped from New York? Onetime GOP front runner Rudy Giuliani! You can look it up.)

  40. Thers said,

    January 21, 2008 at 6:11

    How can I even begin to take your book seriously until you set up a blog to discuss it where you print dozens of sycophantic adulatory emails from your fans?

    That is what is known as “scholarship,” after all.

  41. Tara the anti-social social worker said,

    January 21, 2008 at 6:13

    The white male is the something-or-other of conservative communism.

  42. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    January 21, 2008 at 6:13

    …give them all kinds of grants and free money.

    No-bid contracts. Cost plus contracts.

  43. Dan Someone said,

    January 21, 2008 at 6:16

    Conservative communism differs from classical communism in many ways. I don’t deny this. Indeed, it is central to my point.

  44. Galactic Dustbin said,

    January 21, 2008 at 6:18

    Russell Kirk? You mean the guy who was Snake Pliskin? I love his stuff! I didnt realize that he was a Serious Author- cool! I am so looking forward to your book, I just noticed you have a release date of September 08, so we should expect this around say… May-ish 2012?

  45. oudemia said,

    January 21, 2008 at 6:19

    Hmm. Looks like Jillian’s book is coming out in a competitive market.

    Rob Helpy-Chalk already has a TOC and chapter notes for his.

  46. Little Boots said,

    January 21, 2008 at 6:20

    Silence them with footnotes! Don’t matter what they say, just have lots of ‘em.

  47. Mister DNA said,

    January 21, 2008 at 6:25

    I can do it if no one else has the time or inclination, but the Cs in “Conservative” and “Communism” would look much nicer if they were made of Hammers & Sickles.

    Also, will you be updating the title to include something like “From the Haymarket Riots to Ann Coulter”?

  48. MileHi Hawkeye said,

    January 21, 2008 at 6:26

    “Why don’t you guys design a cover for my new book?”

    And I’m still waiting for the Liberal Fascist Strike Team graphic. Sniff. Sniff…

  49. Me said,

    January 21, 2008 at 6:29

    Don’t research. And if you do, make sure it’s really shitty. Equivocate in interviews.

    You’ve already got plenty of mindless drones at your disposal, so you’ve got that part covered.

  50. Charles said,

    January 21, 2008 at 6:32

    Don’t forget to mention Lysenkoism–the subordination of inconvenient scientific facts (like evolution) to ideological purity.

  51. BJS said,

    January 21, 2008 at 6:33

    Check this out:
    http://www.cnn.com/2008/US/01/20/latimes.editor.ap/index.html

    Surely them can trim the fat by canning Jonah….

  52. a different brad said,

    January 21, 2008 at 6:34

    Conservative Communism: The Secret Complicity of the American Right from John Wayne to Ronald Reagan
    The bisexual immigrant liberated female is the Jew of the communist conservative. (Except for my ex, fuck her. Also, she is Jewish, according to her mother’s vagina.)
    Opposition to liberal fascism led conservatives to ally with communists in WWII, an alliance that was never truly broken, not even by the Cold War. You’ll notice that both sides of the Cold War seem to think fighting in snowy places is a utopian ideal. Thus we see that any ideology which believes in combatting its opponents in snowy places is communist.
    That liberal fascism is an oxymoron is, indeed, central to my point.

  53. Calming Influence said,

    January 21, 2008 at 6:36

    Great book idea. Be sure to include a chapter on Richard Mellon Scaife, a very influential ConCom, who once said “From each legacy mamma’s-boy regardless of his abilities, to each legacy mamma’s-boy according to his insecure neediness.”

  54. Rightwingsnarkle said,

    January 21, 2008 at 6:37

    Ms Jillian, I got everything you need to know about your man Kirk right here.

    Oh, yeah.

  55. Bistroist said,

    January 21, 2008 at 6:39

    You’ll notice that both sides of the Cold War seem to think fighting in snowy places is a utopian ideal. Thus we see that any ideology which believes in combatting its opponents in snowy places is communist.

    Did li’l Elisha Manning just defeat communism?

  56. a different brad said,

    January 21, 2008 at 6:42

    All 4 of the teams which played today played in locations where snow may easily be found.
    Therefore, they are all communist.
    The only known non-communist sport is beach volleyball.

  57. Charles said,

    January 21, 2008 at 6:55

    Speaking of science, I just realized that Hitler believed in… Evolution! Just like liberal college professors!

  58. Bistroist said,

    January 21, 2008 at 6:57

    Oh Noes!

  59. Caveat said,

    January 21, 2008 at 6:59

    You should send this post to Jon Stewart - time for an interview! He’ll be pissed that he didn’t think of it himself.

  60. Helena Handbag said,

    January 21, 2008 at 7:01

    Looks like you can count on other blog-scholars to back you up. From DHinMI’s review of Paul Krugman’s Conscience of A Liberal just posted on Daily Kos:

    “But movement conservatism has at its heart a “Leninist strategy” of unrelenting pursuit of its primary goal: the repeal of the New Deal.”

    Can we celebrate your book release with an Angry Party? Can’t wait to see you on BookTV!

  61. ahem said,

    January 21, 2008 at 7:01

    Is there going to be a chapter on how conservative advocates for the free market work in non-profit think tanks and for loss-making magazines bankrolled by billionaire heirs?

  62. robert green said,

    January 21, 2008 at 7:02

    communism and fascism and religion and sports and eating and talking and farting and getting gum on your shoe are all really part of the continuum of left/right anarcho-syndicalist running dog hitler stalin mussolini wilson whole foods brett hull jaromir jagr hitler (you said hitler twice! i like hitler…) gay straight and so on, as russell kirk once said.

    or didn’t, which only makes my point stronger.

  63. ploeg said,

    January 21, 2008 at 7:03

    I have noticed a certain semblance between corporate culture and Maoism, particularly in the areas of propaganda and performance reviews.

  64. bob the hog said,

    January 21, 2008 at 7:08

    The only known non-communist sport is beach volleyball.

    But only singles matches. Team sports are communist by their very nature. Indeed, that is central to the point.

  65. Bastion Booger said,

    January 21, 2008 at 7:13

    The truth is, Hillary KKKlinton is a communist/fascist because she wants universal health care and wants to redistribute wealth from the rich and middle class who worked hard to get their wealth to the poor who are only poor because they are lazy. In a Country like America where there is the free market and unlimited opportunities for sucess the only poor people are lazy bastards who deserve to be poor because they would rather sit on their asses and collect welfare checks than get an education or go out and get a job. Only a communist/fascist would propose such anti-Capitalist ideas therefore KKKLinton is a communist/fascist.

  66. Mister DNA said,

    January 21, 2008 at 7:18

    My photoshopping skills leave something to be desired, but here’s my cover submission.

  67. El Cid said,

    January 21, 2008 at 7:19

    I’d probably hang out in the Thom Hartmann chat room. Hartmann is BIG on citing Russell Kirk.

    Conservative Communism: From the Red Army to RedState.com

  68. Bistroist said,

    January 21, 2008 at 7:23

    The truth is, Hillary Clinton is a brigand because she wants to redistribute lupines.

    Fixed?

  69. Nylund said,

    January 21, 2008 at 7:23

    I agree with Ahem…surely there must be chapter on the “Wingnut Welfare State.”

    Also, Castro, Stalin, Pol Pot, Ho Chi Minh, and Mao also liked to dress themselves in military attire, not unlike our fighter-pilot-in-chief and the way he likes to parade around his generals.

    There should also be a chapter on Mao’s “Cultural Revolution” where he tried to eradicate the “liberal bourgeoisie.”

    The treatment of protesters and the stifling of political dissent is also noteworthy.

    And, of course, the use of torture by people like Pol Pot has a strong relevance to today as well.

  70. gbear said,

    January 21, 2008 at 7:26

    Russel Kirk - yeah, wasn’t he that cool black jazz player who could, like blow outta both sides of his mouth?

    I thought he was the good guy who gets sucked into a computer in ‘Tron’.

  71. El Cid said,

    January 21, 2008 at 7:27

    “Free trade” agreements which force large sectors of skilled workers into low paying jobs is exactly like the Khmer Rouge’s policies of sending professionals out of the cities and into the fields and rice paddies to work to death.

  72. Bastion Booger said,

    January 21, 2008 at 7:40

    Torture is a necessary tool in the fight against islamo-fascism.

  73. bob the hog said,

    January 21, 2008 at 7:41

    How about something like this for the cover?
    .

  74. Snorghagen said,

    January 21, 2008 at 7:42

    Silence them with footnotes! Don’t matter what they say, just have lots of ‘em.

    That’s the ticket! You can have footnotes that cite a major work by a highly reliable historian, even though that historian didn’t write anything that in any way supports the statement you’re footnoting. Only the highly reliable historian will know, and by the time he raises public objections you’ll already be #2 on Amazon. Screw ‘em!

    Or you can have footnotes that cite books by Albert Einstein or Walter Lippman or other respected dead people, books that don’t actually exist at all. If anyone asks, just tell them that you’ve got the only copy and you ain’t gonna show it to nobody because they might smear boogers all over the pages.

    Or you can have footnotes that cite your phone bill. Or your dog’s butthole. Or ectoplasm in the fifth dimension. That can be fun.

    Don’t research. And if you do, make sure it’s really shitty. Equivocate in interviews.

    And when the interviewer establishes that you don’t know shit, blandly tell him that it just slipped your mind that Lenin was a Communist. Could happen to anyone.

  75. joeyess said,

    January 21, 2008 at 7:44

    Bastion Booger said,

    January 21, 2008 at 7:40

    Torture is a necessary tool in the fight against islamo-fascism.

    I thought that liberals were fascists. Now you tell me that muslims are? Who’s a fascist? I’m confused.

  76. c said,

    January 21, 2008 at 7:51

    footnote fodder

    http://www.marxists.org/reference/archive/stalin/works/1939/01/10.htm

    http://www.marxists.org/archive/lenin/works/1920/lwc/index.htm

  77. Jennifer said,

    January 21, 2008 at 7:53

    Might I suggest a chapter outlining the ways in which DisneyWorld is just like life in the former Soviet Union, only with brighter colors and better weather?

  78. FlipYrWhig said,

    January 21, 2008 at 7:54

    Subtitle: From Emma Goldman to Jonah Goldberg

  79. stryx said,

    January 21, 2008 at 7:58

    Try this. I epu’d myself. Too many things going on.

    http://stryxvaria.blogspot.com/2008/01/jillians-new-book.html

  80. Snorghagen said,

    January 21, 2008 at 8:03

    Stalin enjoyed watching westerns. Conservatives like watching John Wayne movies.

    This would obviously indicate that conservatives are Stalinists, but saying that conservatives are Stalinists does not mean that I’m in any way actually comparing conservatives to Stalinists.

  81. Tim (the other one) said,

    January 21, 2008 at 8:20

    I haven’t read all the comments yet, but I really think the cover needs “slanty” Oriental eyes.

    What ?

  82. stryx said,

    January 21, 2008 at 8:25

    However, Mao’s deep distrust of intellectuals and faith in the power of the mass mobilisation of peasants led him to order this massive countrywide effort without consulting expert opinion. Moreover the experience of the intellectual classes following the 100 Flowers Campaign led those aware of the folly of such a plan to not dare voice criticism.”

    distrust of intellectual? check
    use of ‘gut’ in decisions? check
    idealization of mythical ‘real people’ check
    belief in fantasy despite obvious proof? check

  83. Calming Influence said,

    January 21, 2008 at 8:37


    ploeg said,
    January 21, 2008 at 7:03

    I have noticed a certain semblance between corporate culture and Maoism, particularly in the areas of propaganda and performance reviews.

    Performance reviews: the subversive way that ConComs stick it to the man!!!

  84. Incontinentia Buttocks said,

    January 21, 2008 at 8:43

    You know, of course, that they only called Lenin a “Communist” because during World War I, while Russia was fighting Germany, he opposed the war!

    And did you know that “Soviet” means “council” as in “Council of Conservative Citizens“?

  85. pedestrian said,

    January 21, 2008 at 8:57

    I thought that liberals were fascists. Now you tell me that muslims are? Who’s a fascist? I’m confused.

    Muslims are liberals too. See, most Muslims are brown and liberals love brown people, at least in the parts of the book where they aren’t racist. Also, they want to be dhimmis who have to pay taxes to a Muslim overlord, which is why they might just nominate Barack Obama who is secretly Muslim… because they love taxes. Finally, Mussolini, who is usually thought of a fascist because he was such a fastidious dresser, can be connected within five degrees to Kevin Bacon, and there are FIVE pillars in Islam.

    If it still doesn’t make sense, you must be a fascist.

    If it still doesn’t makes

  86. Innocent Bystander said,

    January 21, 2008 at 9:00

    Just focus on Chapter Titles…..I got an extra 500 pages of words you can use, I bought mine at Words R Us, just like Jonah.

    One deep thought….at the rate of market consolidations we see under Republican rule (see NewsCorp), how soon will we have 1 supplier of news, autos, food, etc? Is not Wal-Mart the ultimate commie conspiracy with everyday low prices?

  87. Lesley said,

    January 21, 2008 at 9:09

    Love the iconic birthmark at the top of happy’s face!

    I fear the subtitle will go over the heads of our conservative brethren. Can’t you work cheetos in somewhere? They understand cheetos.

  88. joeyess said,

    January 21, 2008 at 9:13

    pedestrian said,

    January 21, 2008 at

    Thank you. I feel much less the fascist and much less confused.

  89. joeyess said,

    January 21, 2008 at 9:15

    speaking of the iconic birthmark on the smiley face, it sorta reminds me of Harry Potter.

    HARRY POTTER IS A COMMUNIST?!?!??!??!??!?!?! HOLY CRAP!!!!111!!1one!!1

  90. Hoosier X said,

    January 21, 2008 at 9:32

    Bastion Booger is desperately flailing about. I guess the Big Golden Book of Republican Talking Points has not been updated for “Liberal Fascism.”

    He’ll be back as soon as things settle down and Rush and O’Reilly get a chance to check the latest memo from the Hoover Institute and start yammering on and on about what “Liberal Fascism” means to stupid people.

  91. Johnny Pez said,

    January 21, 2008 at 9:32

    “Those who are not with us are against us.” Josef “Stalin” Djugashvili

    “You’re either with us or you’re with the terrorists.” George “Dubya” Bush

  92. Stephen Ockham said,

    January 21, 2008 at 9:33

    This thread is full of win, bravo.

    Alternate title for the paperback 2nd edition:

    Conservative Communism:
    The Collectivist Temptation From Karl Marx’s Beard to the Wingnut Face Mullet
    (New Edition Features Chapter Equating Maoist Rebels and Backwoods Survivalists)

  93. Monkay said,

    January 21, 2008 at 9:37

    Fascism wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross here.

  94. Johnny Pez said,

    January 21, 2008 at 9:38

    Btw, this brilliant thesis also explains why “only Nixon can go to China”.

  95. Johnny Pez said,

    January 21, 2008 at 9:41

    “Workers of the world unite! You have nothing to lose but your Cheney!”

  96. owlbear1 said,

    January 21, 2008 at 10:20

    Fundie Commies insisting everyone express only one ’sanctioned’ view of the bible.

    Marxist/Maoist infiltrators undoubtedly.

    Speaking in Tongues?

    HAH!

    Secret Code on how to sap America’s vital essence is what you are actually listening to…

  97. Batocchio said,

    January 21, 2008 at 10:28

    I bow to your brilliance, Jillian. And with this entry, you’ve already outdone Jonah on substance.

  98. George Johnston said,

    January 21, 2008 at 10:31

    Communists as well as Republicans have a ban on factionalism. Criticizing the leader is akin to treason.

    Communists as well as Republicans believe assasination is a prerogative of keeping power. Stalin had Trotsky assasinated while Bush tried to have Saddam blown to bits on many occasions.

    Trotsky introduced political commissars to control the army while George Bush uses generals like Petraeus to control politicians.

    Is Jillian getting us to work for free a Conservative or a Communist plot? As you can see there is no difference.

  99. Joe Max said,

    January 21, 2008 at 10:55

    I had to take a shot at the book cover…

    http://www.flickr.com/photos/23036368@N04/2208274357/

  100. LD said,

    January 21, 2008 at 11:44

    I’m sorry to throw cold water in everyones neck, but I have to say that unfortunately Jillian is simply not qualified to write this sort of book.

    For starters, Jillian’s job at Sadly No (and relatively the opportunity to write the book) was not arranged on a silver platter by her mother. Clearly, if she is unable to get a job in journalism through her mother, doesn’t that mean her mother does not trust her skills?

    I’m sorry to say this Jillian, but your mothers lack of help for you to publish your writings no matter what their quality is does not really speak of her support, and she must know you best having raised you for decades.

    For this reason, I don’t think you should be allowed to write this book. Unless you got your place here in Sadly No through your mothers contacts, but that couldn’t be, because that would mean I wrote something in the internet without checking the facts. And and no-one would write unchecked facts to internet, atleast not if they can make a book out of them.

    However, as a final note to whoever steals your book idea, a question I have raised before:
    RED states? Communism? RED Scare?

    See the connection? Elemetary my dear Watson.

  101. Qetesh the Qaveat Qat said,

    January 21, 2008 at 12:00

    Bistroist said,
    January 21, 2008 at 7:23

    The truth is, Hillary Clinton is a brigand because she wants to redistribute lupines.

    Fixed?

    I had a mental image of Herself Clinton flinging lupines hither and yon.

    But that’s probably only because I’d call the flowers lupins. Not being a North American and all, I don’t need an extra ‘e’ to make me feel special.

  102. justme said,

    January 21, 2008 at 12:02

    This is the most beautiful thing I’ve seen in I don’t know how long.

    I can’t wait for the Daily Show interview…

  103. Qetesh the Qaveat Qat said,

    January 21, 2008 at 12:02

    Sigh. I don’t mean to be cantankerous and all, I really don’t. Perhaps I need a lie down. Or a job. Or just to indulge my pathetic whining by myself rather than in public.

  104. Twisted_Colour said,

    January 21, 2008 at 12:15

    Already on it……………

    http://glasshouseflowers.blogspot.com/2007/12/usa-maoist-regime.html

  105. Incontinentia Buttocks said,

    January 21, 2008 at 12:18

    We often think of Marx, who’s mistakenly seen as a Leftist, as being the founder of Communism.

    But in fact Marx borrowed his most important ideas from Hegel and the Classical Economists. Both Hegel and the Classical Economists are often seen as conservatives. (I know that I’ve seen them called this…but I can’t remember where. Anyone out there want to look this up for me Jillian?)

    QED

  106. Neil said,

    January 21, 2008 at 12:37

    Wal-Mart’s centralized procurement and distribution are basically Stalin’s wet dream made real, with more effective information technology.

  107. Neil said,

    January 21, 2008 at 12:42

    Phrases like ‘latte sipping liberal elite’ sound strangely familiar, too.

  108. Phoenician in a time of Romans said,

    January 21, 2008 at 13:19

    But I really need some help from some of my loyal readers. You see, I’m working on a chapter of the book which requires me to read a lot about and by Russell Kirk.

    Kirk was the Communist/Labour Prime Minister of the Socialist Republic of New Zealand from 1972 until his ouster by a patriotic liberation movement. He has since become an Australian Senator, where he has led that country towards collectivism. He was a noted expert on Greek literature, no doubt continuing the totalitarian communist line of thought developed by Plato.

    Prior to this he served as the American naval attache in London until WWII broke out, where he was no doubt a close “friend” of Philby, Burgess and Maclean. He had an otherwise uneventful military “career”, apart from cheating on the “Kobayashi Maru” simulation test.

  109. dave said,

    January 21, 2008 at 14:46

    Russell Kirk was in “Escape From New York”? All well and good, but I’d rather hear the thoughts of Adrienne Barbeau if it’s all the same to you…

  110. mrak said,

    January 21, 2008 at 15:11

    I can tell the thesis of your book is very serious, because you resisted the inevitable temptation to spell it “Konservative Kommunism”.

  111. Gary Ruppert said,

    January 21, 2008 at 15:15

    The fact is, if a Democrat wins in November, there will be another American Revolution. I don’t think the spineless appeasers of terrorism will be a match for Patriots with guns.

  112. Barney said,

    January 21, 2008 at 15:16

    I think a whole chapter on American Football as the ultimate communist sport and plot is warranted.

    It has salary caps, TV revenue is distributed equally, ignoring the success of the teams, and failing franchises, far from suffering the rigours of the marketplace (as they do in Liberatarian soccer, where they are demoted to an inferior league) are given extra help by getting first choice in the draft for the next season. “From each according to their ability, to each according to their needs”, eh? Note how the players are dehumanised by being assigned numbers.

    I need only add that supposedly capitalist companies support this communist wet dream with large amounts of advertising money, conservatives complain vociferously when nipples appear in half time shows to distract from the spectacle of the sport, one of the right wing’s most visible propaganda outlets is called “Little Green Footballs”, and the Republican Secretary of State has expressed a desire to be the Commissioner (aka ‘Commissar’) of football.

  113. anangryoldbroad said,

    January 21, 2008 at 15:17

    The fact is,liberals often have guns and learned how to use them while Gary was still drinking from a sippy cup.

  114. LD said,

    January 21, 2008 at 15:32

    “Gary Ruppert said,

    January 21, 2008 at 15:15

    The fact is, if a Democrat wins in November, there will be another American Revolution. I don’t think the spineless appeasers of terrorism will be a match for Patriots with guns.”

    So, neo-con chickenhawks vs. Hillbilly-Rednecks eh?
    Will tickets be sold, and/or will the event be televiced?

    Which side is the Bush administration taking, do you know? (they might fit both sides)

    Oh, and is some “minor collateral damage” to be expected?

  115. Arky - Cthulhusexual said,

    January 21, 2008 at 15:35

    I don’t think the spineless appeasers of terrorism will be a match for Patriots with guns.

    If you send Brady after me I’d surrender without a fight.

    Damn, I wish I could phshop. How about a little green cap on the smiley to complete the nauseating clash of colors?

  116. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    January 21, 2008 at 15:36

    They’re going to let the Patriots use guns against the Giants?

    Doesn’t seem fair, some how.

  117. dBa said,

    January 21, 2008 at 15:37

    The fact is, conservative communists like Gary are different from classical conservative communists with guns, indeed, I don’t deny this, his forehead is central to my laser sights.

  118. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    January 21, 2008 at 15:53

    CME Globex Flash Quotes

    Delayed Intra-day Quotes

    Trade Date: 01/22/08 | GLOBEX Prices as of 01/21/08 07:42 AM Quotes are delayed at least 10 minutes

    INDEX PRODUCTS
    CONTRACT LAST NET CHGE

    S&P 500 MAR08 1276.30 B -4900
    E-MINI MAR08 1276.25 -4900

    Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

  119. Legalize said,

    January 21, 2008 at 15:57

    Nixon was a Republican. Nixon went to China. The Chinese are “Red” Communists. The GOPers identify themselves with the color red. This is central to my point.

  120. J— said,

    January 21, 2008 at 16:02

    The Spotted Owl is the Gulag prisoner of conservative communism.

  121. Cangrejero said,

    January 21, 2008 at 16:06

    The Soviets launched monkeys into space, they were likely influence by the Ronald Reagan movie “Bedtime for Bonzo”.

  122. Cangrejero said,

    January 21, 2008 at 16:07

    The Spotted Owl is the Gulag prisoner of conservative communism.

    Okay, that’s awesome.

    We’re all Spotted Owls now.

  123. jcasey said,

    January 21, 2008 at 16:11

    That’s great–seems very serious, precise, and careful–but shouldn’t the subtitle be switched around? From Mao to Hoover? You wouldn’t want your friendly reviewers to be forced to have to admit that your argument, while a lot of things they can damn with faint praise, has some lacunae.

  124. rob helpy-chalk said,

    January 21, 2008 at 16:13

    Jillian: The same idea bubbled up at unfogged, and I started organizing the input on this. (Your cover looks nicer than mine) We need to collaborate. The closer this book gets to being a real book, the better the critique.

  125. spencer said,

    January 21, 2008 at 16:24

    I epu’d myself.

    Um, you did what, now?

  126. jimmiraybob said,

    January 21, 2008 at 16:29

    I’ve always suspected. It just always seemed like they protested a little too much. “I am NOT a communist.” “I am NOT gay.” I do NOT kick puppies.”

  127. Susan of Texas said,

    January 21, 2008 at 16:30

    Both commies and connies hate the Enlightenment. Reason is the opiate of the masses!

    And the word “commiecons” shouldbe used as often as possible.

  128. moondancer said,

    January 21, 2008 at 16:37

    I’ll preorder my copy right now. This is the book that HAD to be written.

    Stalin and Reagan….separated at birth?? Rove and Kruschev…inspiration for Pinky and the Brain?

  129. David Robinson said,

    January 21, 2008 at 16:39

    The obvious: Redstates

  130. El Cid said,

    January 21, 2008 at 17:00

    David Robinson said, January 21, 2008 at 16:39

    The obvious: Redstates

    Upthread I suggested it as:

    Conservative Communism: From the Red Army to RedState.com

  131. cur said,

    January 21, 2008 at 17:13

    Don’t forget Black Friday. Consumers stand in line at Wal-Mart for hours and hours in the dark and freezing cold for the opportunity to purchase inferior but readily available Chinese made products. We have expanded our conservative communism well beyond the Russian model of potatoes and toilet paper.

  132. El Cid said,

    January 21, 2008 at 17:14

    That’s very good, cur.

  133. Mumphrey Bibblesnæð said,

    January 21, 2008 at 17:18

    Try putting a Stalin moustache and a pipe on the happy face.
    Or maybe some crazy Mao hair.

  134. r€nato said,

    January 21, 2008 at 17:20

    in all seriousness, it has been often noted that there is indeed a lot of similarity between Stalinism and today’s neo-conservatives.

    Jillian’s thesis should be a lot easier to prove than Jonah’s.

  135. Blue Buddha said,

    January 21, 2008 at 17:22

    ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    January 21, 2008 at 15:53

    CME Globex Flash Quotes

    Delayed Intra-day Quotes

    Trade Date: 01/22/08 | GLOBEX Prices as of 01/21/08 07:42 AM Quotes are delayed at least 10 minutes

    INDEX PRODUCTS
    CONTRACT LAST NET CHGE

    S&P 500 MAR08 1276.30 B -4900
    E-MINI MAR08 1276.25 -4900

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    Current quote for YMH8 (E-mini MAR08 Dow Jones Futures): ~11750, and down ~350.

    Fortunately, I have a futures account. If they’ve plunged this much in light trading, I’m definitely shorting them tomorrow (CME/CBOT closes around 1PM EST today).

  136. actor212 said,

    January 21, 2008 at 17:38

    Wait. Can’t you just read some interviews with Goldie Hawn?

    Oh…you didn’t mean Kurt Russell…well, who’d know the difference, and you’d STILL have done more research than Fudgie!

  137. actor212 said,

    January 21, 2008 at 17:41

    Buddha,

    Don’t be so hasty. I’d wait until after midnight tonight and see how the Asia markets perform. I wouldn’t bet on a 350+ drop (sounds like sucker money to me), but 100 points is a pretty good bet, even if Asia comes back.

    And seeing as how quickly those shorts would drop and then bounce, you might miss your strike price and have a lonnnnnnnnnnnnng wait before you can make money on them.

    Just my opinion.

  138. jayinbmore said,

    January 21, 2008 at 17:47

    Damn! This ups the timetable for my completion of “Conservative Islamism: The Islamic Theocratic Impulse from Qutb to Americans For Tax Reform”.

  139. J— said,

    January 21, 2008 at 18:12

    I epu’d myself.

    Um, you did what, now?

    I believe it’s Firedoglake jargon: from commenter Evil Parallel Universe, for when a commenter continues or begins to comment on one thread after everyone else has moved on to a new one. I think.

  140. JK47 said,

    January 21, 2008 at 18:14

    The fact is, if a Democrat wins in November, there will be another American Revolution. I don’t think the spineless appeasers of terrorism will be a match for Patriots with guns.

    Southern wingnuts already attempted to fight their betters 150 years ago, and it didn’t work out too well for them. And it’s not like you knuckle-draggers have gotten any smarter since then.

  141. Jerkstore said,

    January 21, 2008 at 18:24

    Hoover Institute? They organized a foundation for a vacuum? I bet it sucks.

  142. Howler Monkey said,

    January 21, 2008 at 18:26

    “But I really need some help from some of my loyal readers. You see, I’m working on a chapter of the book which requires me to read a lot about and by Russell Kirk.”

    This looks like a job for The League Of Howlers. dum dum ta dum!

    We will get right on it.

  143. Arky - Chuthuhlusexual said,

    January 21, 2008 at 18:27

    We’re all Spotted Owls now.

    Who?

  144. El Cid said,

    January 21, 2008 at 18:28

    Hey — how about a purple band-aid on the happy face?

    Conservative Communism: From The First International to the International House of Pancakes

    Conservative Communism: From The Khmer Rouge to Kaiser Permanente

    Conservative Communism: From Das Kapital to MS-DOS

    Conservative Communism: From the Socialist Workers Party to the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth

  145. Legalize said,

    January 21, 2008 at 18:33

    “The fact is, if a Democrat wins in November, there will be another American Revolution. I don’t think the spineless appeasers of terrorism will be a match for Patriots with guns.”

    I look forward to the treason trials of you alleged “patriots with guns.” Although I won’t hold my breath, as we all know what cowards you are. You’ll take 2 steps out of your basement with your baggy fatigues and face paint, realize that it’s chilly outside, and run back inside for fear of missing Rush. You won’t lift a finger.

  146. Dr. Squid said,

    January 21, 2008 at 18:34

    My suggestion for a cover pic…

    …right here

  147. fourmorewars said,

    January 21, 2008 at 18:41

    Re your mock-up for ‘Conservative Communism,’ I have to quibble with the happy face…it’s meant by assholes like JG to mock liberals’ ’sunnily naive’ worldview (or rather our sinister pose behind it while they plot our nazification programs).

    The conservative logo needs to be less happy/friendly and more condescending/superior. How about simply ‘cartoonifying’ that pic of Limbaugh with the cigar and the knowitall expression, maybe.

  148. El Cid said,

    January 21, 2008 at 18:45

    Photoshopping the Brooks Brothers Riot?

    If any one moment crystallizes the Bush Jr. Republicans’ pretensions as violent revolutionaries, that’s it. Simultaneously it is about cowardice, privilege, imitating the ‘common man’ when one is a party hack, and the repression of democracy in the Party’s interest.

  149. Rightwingsnarkle said,

    January 21, 2008 at 18:45

    ‘nuther subtitle option - “…From Goldwater to Gorbachev.”

  150. (Lex) Skink Tyree (Azagthoth) said,

    January 21, 2008 at 18:49

    Jillian, you fucking rock. I love this. Let me get some more practice. I need to photoshop MittBot into a Fembot. Then I’ll try something.

  151. J— said,

    January 21, 2008 at 18:49

    Conservative Communism: From Marx’s MOPs to Bush’s WMDs

  152. fourmorewars said,

    January 21, 2008 at 18:50

    JK47 said,

    January 21, 2008 at 18:14

    ….

    Southern wingnuts already attempted to fight their betters 150 years ago, and it didn’t work out too well for them. And it’s not like you knuckle-draggers have gotten any smarter since then.

    I always love reading that list of things northerners are supposed to remember when they visit the South. It usually includes that things would be more civil/better off if the South had won.

    If you say so, Bubba, but the fact is we wouldn’t be reading this e-mail, since, thanks to your forebears’ addiction to the past, we’d all still be going without indoor plumbing, never mind the internet.

  153. HemlockEcho said,

    January 21, 2008 at 18:53

    The rich white male is the Jew of Conservative Communism.

  154. fourmorewars said,

    January 21, 2008 at 18:55

    jimmiraybob said,

    January 21, 2008 at 16:29

    I’ve always suspected. It just always seemed like they protested a little too much. “I am NOT a communist.” “I am NOT gay.” I do NOT kick puppies.”

    Just got a cover idea from that: a hand reaching under a stall divider to jack off a hammer & sickle.

  155. El Cid said,

    January 21, 2008 at 19:00

    The hourly-paid worker is the kulak of Conservative Communism.

  156. Jeff Fecke said,

    January 21, 2008 at 19:23

    Imagine a doughy pantload issuing repeated blegs on his wingnut-welfare supported blog…forever.

  157. Righteous Bubba said,

    January 21, 2008 at 19:24

    VI Lenin on that hip new Taylorism:

    The possibility of building socialism depends exactly upon our success in combining the Soviet power and the Soviet organisation of administration with the up-to-date achievements of capitalism. We must organise in Russia the study and teaching of the Taylor system and systematically try it out and adapt it to our own ends.

  158. islmfaoscist said,

    January 21, 2008 at 19:26

    As I’ve noted before, Communist China is the People’s Republic of China. Mao originally ran as a Republican and said over and over again “We are the Republicans.”

  159. J— said,

    January 21, 2008 at 19:28

    Unchecked, conservative communism will render the Republic sans-kulaks.

  160. Helena Handbag said,

    January 21, 2008 at 19:29

    El Cid, you are ON today.

    Happy MLK Day, you bunch of liberal fascists, you.

    A few thoughts:
    Conservative Communism: From the Hegelian Dialectic to Hannah Montana
    Conservative Communism: From Karl Marx to Marks and Spencer
    Conservative Communism: From Berlin Wall to Border Fences
    Conservative Communism: From Exploitation of the Ignorant and Fearful to the Exploitation of the Ignorant and Fearful

  161. kiki said,

    January 21, 2008 at 19:41

    I call dibs on Conservative Fascism: Y’Know, Actual Fascism, Not The Made-Up Kind.

  162. El Cid said,

    January 21, 2008 at 19:41

    Gracias Helena.

    Conservative Communism: From the Third International to the Fourth Branch of Government

    Conservative Communism: From ‘What Is To Be Done’ to ‘Brownie, You’re Doin’ a Heckuva Job’

    Conservative Communism: From the Central Committee to the Unitary Executive

  163. Susan of Texas said,

    January 21, 2008 at 19:41

    If you say so, Bubba, but the fact is we wouldn’t be reading this e-mail, since, thanks to your forebears’ addiction to the past, we’d all still be going without indoor plumbing, never mind the internet.

    That’s wrong enough to be a Jonahism! Now, what was a major factor in the utterly humiliating defeat of the South? The industries in the North, which provided canned food, uniforms, weapons, etc.

    The simple truth is that if you went to the largest city in the south, Houston, you would rearely hear a Southern accent or see any indication of the glorious Confederation at all. You are utterly repudiated and forgotten. All that’s left is small pockets of, you got it, backward-looking fools addicted to the past.

    And why only four more wars? How about six, ten, one hundred! All you need is money we don’t have, bodies we don’t have, and international good will. Which we also don’t have..

  164. El Cid said,

    January 21, 2008 at 19:46

    Even though the trolls are all parody simulations, as a native born and raised (we don’t say ‘reared’) Southern white male (before I was the Jew of liberal fascism), let me say that thank all my f***ing stars that the South got its a** kicked like it did.

    Thanks also for Franklin D. Roosevelt to drag my backwards, pseudo-colonial agriculture and primary material providing, hookworm addled, malnutrition exemplifying, muddy road and no education-having region of the country kicking and screaming out of 3rd world decay and into a substantial degree of modernity.

  165. islmfaoscist said,

    January 21, 2008 at 19:56

    A Pantload theme song?

    In my Corner bunker and the only noise I hear
    Is the sound of someone stacking chairs
    And mopping up spilt beer
    And someone asking questions and basking in the light
    Of the fifteen fame filled minutes of the NRO writer

    Bulk purchases are organised and blog-whores have been posted
    Even after closing time theres still parties to be hosted
    You can be active with the activists
    Or sleep in with the sleepers
    While youre waiting for the great leap forwards

  166. (Lex) Skink Tyree (Azagthoth) said,

    January 21, 2008 at 20:02

    Egads–I finally made my MittBot (with Mrs. RomBot) but Jillian, I think you’ll need a better hand at this for your project.

  167. g said,

    January 21, 2008 at 20:05

    I’ve already reviewed Jillian’s book at Amazon and given it 5 stars! Please write to Amazon and complain about the 1 star reviews - it’s obvious those wankers have not read the book.

  168. J— said,

    January 21, 2008 at 20:07

    Conservative Communism: From the NEP to the NRO

  169. Righteous Bubba said,

    January 21, 2008 at 20:18

    Conservative Communism: From Slogans to Sloganeering

  170. Susan of Texas said,

    January 21, 2008 at 20:24

    Conservative Communism: From Purge to Surge

  171. PhysioProf said,

    January 21, 2008 at 20:30

    You know that this kind of thing is going to lead to an unnecessary proliferation of books telling us that one thing that everyone knows is a particular way, is really, truly a totally different way, and has been forevah. So I propose my latest book project: “Everything is the Exact Fucking Same as Everything Else: The Monist Temptation From Parmenides to Mario Batali”. This pretty much corners the market, don’t you think?

  172. tigrismus said,

    January 21, 2008 at 20:36

    I own and have read Kirk’s Watchers at the Strait Gate. It is a collection of supernatural short stories which I’m quite sure will contain something central to your point.

  173. Strangefate said,

    January 21, 2008 at 21:00

    A selection of chapters:

    Chapter I: Conserving Communism in America

    Chapter II: Joe McCarthy, Disciple of Marx

    Chapter III: William F. Buckley & the Rising Red Horde

    Chapter VI: Reagonomics - The American Great Push Forward

    Chapter XII: George W. Bush - American Communism’s Stalin?

    Excerpts:

    “While I am aware there there other forms of communism besides that of Stalin and Pol Pot, they do not concern me. I will not discuss shirts! I have a hard enough time finding one that fits!”

    “Lenin is labeled a communist mostly because of his support for small business.”

    “A tax cut is the gulag of American Communism.”

    “The illegal immigrant is the bourgeoisie of American Communism.”

  174. craigie said,

    January 21, 2008 at 21:00

    Re your mock-up for ‘Conservative Communism,’ I have to quibble with the happy face…it’s meant by assholes like JG to mock liberals’ ’sunnily naive’ worldview (or rather our sinister pose behind it while they plot our nazification programs).

    I thought exactly the same thing.

  175. actor212 said,

    January 21, 2008 at 21:09

    Conservative Communism: From Cornflakes to Cheetos.

  176. actor212 said,

    January 21, 2008 at 21:11

    Re your mock-up for ‘Conservative Communism,’ I have to quibble with the happy face…it’s meant by assholes like JG to mock liberals’ ’sunnily naive’ worldview (or rather our sinister pose behind it while they plot our nazification programs).

    The conservative logo needs to be less happy/friendly and more condescending/superior. How about simply ‘cartoonifying’ that pic of Limbaugh with the cigar and the knowitall expression, maybe.

    I disagree. The cover is fine. It depicts the vast majority of Conservative Communists who can’t be bothered to do an ounce of thinking.

  177. stryx said,

    January 21, 2008 at 21:19

    Who is the female grade-school teacher with an education degree from Brown or Swarthmore of Conservative Communism&copy?

  178. N.C. said,

    January 21, 2008 at 21:43

    Who is the female grade-school teacher with an education degree from Brown or Swarthmore of Conservative Communism?

    A male Heritage Foundation intern with a political science degree from Liberty U.

  179. Snorghagen said,

    January 21, 2008 at 21:44

    …let me say that thank all my f***ing stars that the South got its a** kicked like it did.

    You got something against living under a political system wholly controlled by a profoundly racist and deeply reactionary landed ruling elite, whose ascendancy would virtually guarantee generations of vicious, destructive racial and class struggle, with a very good possibility of eventual prolonged low-intensity warfare? C’mon, it woulda been fun!

  180. Greg said,

    January 21, 2008 at 21:53

    The Economist wasn’t serious, perhaps, but that may have been central to their point.

    http://www.economist.com/business/displaystory.cfm?story_id=10311230

  181. Calming Influence said,

    January 21, 2008 at 21:56

    LD said,

    So, neo-con chickenhawks vs. Hillbilly-Rednecks eh?

    I’m hoping it will be neo-com chicken-necks vs. Hillbilly red hawks with frickin’ laser beams strapped to their heads.

  182. Atlas Scruggs said,

    January 21, 2008 at 21:59

    Awesome idea! But on the cover, you should use the red sickle for the smile. The hammer will of course represent the staple that seals the lips.

    “Adam Smith and David Ricardo . . . laid the foundations of the labor theory of value. Marx continued their work…”

    - Lenin, Sources and Component Parts of Marxism

  183. Galactic Dustbin said,

    January 21, 2008 at 22:00

    I don’t think the spineless appeasers of terrorism will be a match for Patriots with guns.

    Yes Tom Brady is a great passer, but hey now Gary come on! You my not like the Giants, but that is no reason for name calling!

  184. J— said,

    January 21, 2008 at 22:04

    Conservative Communism: From the Long March to the Wide Stance
    Conservative Communism: From Granma to Gitmo
    Conservative Communism: From the Finland Station to the Straight Talk Express
    Conservative Communism: From the Zafra of ‘70 to the Steamroom of ‘06
    Conservative Communism: From Two, Three, Many Vietnams to a Doubled Guantanamo

  185. Atlas Scruggs said,

    January 21, 2008 at 22:08

    From Wikipedia:

    “In 1933 Joseph Stalin introduced a new criminal code that made homosexuality a crime punishable by five years of hard labor. The Soviet government treated homosexuality as crime against the state akin to espionage.”

    I’m sure there are quotes somewhere.

  186. tigrismus said,

    January 21, 2008 at 22:14

    LD said, I’m sorry to throw cold water in everyones neck, but I have to say that unfortunately Jillian is simply not qualified to write this sort of book.

    For starters, Jillian’s job at Sadly No (and relatively the opportunity to write the book) was not arranged on a silver platter by her mother…

    No no no, wealth, nepotism, and a mind uncluttered by thought are the requirements to write about Liberalism. To write about Conservatism one should be lower middle class, self-made, and highly educated. The best option would be a female grade school teacher who went to Swarthmore or Brown(full scholarship). Vegan lesbian would be a definite plus.

  187. Calming Influence said,

    January 21, 2008 at 22:19

    Thanks also for Franklin D. Roosevelt to drag my backwards, pseudo-colonial agriculture and primary material providing, hookworm addled, malnutrition exemplifying, muddy road and no education-having region of the country kicking and screaming out of 3rd world decay and into a substantial degree of modernity.

    Ah-HAH!!!

    Fascists like to drag people, especially the kicking and screaming types.
    Franklin D. Roosevelt dragged kicking and screaming type people.
    Therefore, Franklin D. Roosevelt was a fascist.

    Q.E. motherfuckin’ D.!!!1! [high-fives Jonah]

  188. NoahC said,

    January 21, 2008 at 22:20

    I think this is a great idea, but you should perhaps focus on something more disturbing to Conservatives. The commie threat has been more or less replaced in recent years.

    Perhaps comparing Conservatives to Muslim Radicals? You need a topic that strums at the visceral heartstrings of conservatives as well as the populace.

    Since Muslim baiting has become a national conservative sport (and thusly a national media sport), it would hit them right where they deserve.

    Below the belt.

  189. g said,

    January 21, 2008 at 22:23

    Noah’s on to something, but I think instead you should compare conservatives to the Farmworkers union - particularly their inherent Mexican culture.

    deeply religious, strong family ties, great work ethic? Conservatives are Mexicans!

  190. El Cid said,

    January 21, 2008 at 22:26

    “The quintessential conservative communist isn’t a bearded revolutionary; it is a male newspaper columnist who likes to act like he has an economics degree from the University of Chicago.”

    “The quintessential conservative communist is not the Cheka agent patrolling the gulag, but a female leader of the Home Owners’ Association delivering a warning to keep the yard more properly mowed.”

  191. Bistroist said,

    January 21, 2008 at 22:32

    Qetesh the Qaveat Qat said @ 12.00,
    But that’s probably only because I’d call the flowers lupins. Not being a North American and all, I don’t need an extra ‘e’ to make me feel special.

    Not being a native English-speaker, I couldn’t be arsed to look up the spelling, though I thought it sounded a bit off. Thanks for the correction. …You NAZI!

    and again @ 12:02,
    Sigh. I don’t mean to be cantankerous and all, I really don’t. Perhaps I need a lie down. Or a job. Or just to indulge my pathetic whining by myself rather than in public.

    Fuck no! After all, what else are the internets for?

    Oh, porn, right.

  192. Atlas Scruggs said,

    January 21, 2008 at 22:37

    Of course! Stalin denounced homosexuality as a “[liberal] fascist perversion”!

  193. Aither said,

    January 21, 2008 at 22:41

    Jillian & Jeff:
    The titlist has “Conservative Communism: The Collectivist Temptation from Mao Zedong to the Hoover Institute”.
    The photoshoppist has “Conservative Communism: The Collectivist Temptation from the Hoover Institute to Mao Zedong”.
    Can’t we just get along?

  194. (Lex) Skink Tyree (Azagthoth) said,

    January 21, 2008 at 22:41

    Holy fuck, “Fjordman” actually links Pantload in his latest screed over at Gates of Vienna. Fascism is left-wing, Fjordman has stated it, dammit! I just wrote it up and wrote that fine, they can then be a bunch of left-wingers since they’re so damned insistent on it all.

  195. J— said,

    January 21, 2008 at 22:43

    Noah’s on to something, but I think instead you should compare conservatives to the Farmworkers union - particularly their inherent Mexican culture.

    It’s all the same thing, really. Growers and grower-friendly newspapers in the San Joaquin Valley frequently called Chavez and the UFW communists.

  196. porndog said,

    January 21, 2008 at 23:00

    Centrally controlled economy? Can you say “Fed discount rate”?

  197. kodos423 said,

    January 21, 2008 at 23:01

    Conservative Communism: From the Long March to the Wide Stance

    Pure, unadulterated genius.

    I want a tshirt with the cover designed by the inimitable Jeff Fecke with this as the title. And I want it now.

  198. actor212 said,

    January 21, 2008 at 23:01

    The titlist has “Conservative Communism: The Collectivist Temptation from Mao Zedong to the Hoover Institute”.
    The photoshoppist has “Conservative Communism: The Collectivist Temptation from the Hoover Institute to Mao Zedong”.
    Can’t we just get along?

    Consistency is for fascists.

  199. Duros62 said,

    January 21, 2008 at 23:05

    The truth is, as Jonah Goldberg so eliquently pointed out in his book, …

    Uh huh. YOU read it. Cover to cover, right? Sure ya did, frat boy.
    And don’t dangle your participles, it’s rude.

  200. Atlas Scruggs said,

    January 21, 2008 at 23:07

    Our fight for a revolution, our preparatory work for the revolution must also be our merciless fight against liberalism for influence over the masses. . .

    - Lev Trotsky, The Events in Petersburg

    For no less than in the economic sphere, the great success of the Reagan Revolution in foreign and defense policy reflects not just particular changes in discrete policies, but rather a transformation in our underlying sense of what America is and what it can accomplish. In effecting this second transformation, the role played by Heritage has again been vital . . .

    William J Bennett, Completing the Reagan Revolution

  201. SamFromUtah said,

    January 21, 2008 at 23:09

    I think the Pantload’s Magnum Doofus needs a slightly different response. Conservative Communism is great, but a bit predictable.

    Why not go with Jonah’s principle of redefining a very loaded term without saying so on the cover, then proving in the book that it applies to your smear victims under the new definition?

    Something like Conservative Child-molesting, where “child molesting” is defined as “being a Rush-listening, librul-bashing, tax-hating jingo monkey”?

  202. Duros62 said,

    January 21, 2008 at 23:17

    Two words. War Czar.
    I rest my case.

    Whatever happened to that guy, anyway?

  203. Duros62 said,

    January 21, 2008 at 23:19

    The hourly-paid worker is the kulak of Conservative Communism.

    I thought that said Koala.

  204. Duros62 said,

    January 21, 2008 at 23:26

    I don’t think the spineless appeasers of terrorism will be a match for Patriots with guns.

    Well, shit, that’ll certainly make the Super Bowl more interesting.

    And shorter.

    Don’t worry, Gary, just stay in the basement.

  205. Clarke Wixon said,

    January 21, 2008 at 23:29

    The “T” in Russell T. Kirk stands for “Trotsky.”

  206. fourmorewars said,

    January 21, 2008 at 23:31

    Hey, Susan from Texas, I think you misread me, I was mocking the South’s backwardness (and pride about it), not celebrating it.

    The fourmorewars is from a collection of suggested Bush/Cheney bumperstickers, from about 2004 — ‘Bush/Cheney: Four More Wars!’

    And I liked Purge to Surge, btw. Among many others here.

  207. Duros62 said,

    January 22, 2008 at 0:04

    …but a female leader of the Home Owners’ Association delivering a warning to keep the yard more properly mowed.”
    I’ve been calling them the Community Communist Congress for years now.

  208. Susan of Texas said,

    January 22, 2008 at 0:37

    Heh. Satire, reality, what’s the difference?

  209. gjdodger said,

    January 22, 2008 at 0:46

    You definitely need to lose the happy face, for reasons already mentioned. May I suggest a cartoon image of Ronald Reagan?

  210. EarBucket said,

    January 22, 2008 at 1:16

    As per J– above:

  211. EarBucket said,

    January 22, 2008 at 1:17

    Ack, it ate my pic