Sadly, No! » Toward A Field Taxonomy Of The Teenage Libertarian (Heinleinium puerilus)

Jan
15

Toward A Field Taxonomy Of The Teenage Libertarian (Heinleinium puerilus)

Posted at 0:45 by Gavin M.

Shorter Isaiah Z. Sterrett:

“Brokeback Mountain” meets immaturity

Above: No longer writes for RenewAmerica, for some reason

As a libertarian, I support gay marriage because I support fairness — and by the way, I’ve had it with you freakin’ social conservatives who can’t appreciate a beautiful goddamn movie just because there are gay people in it.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard.

Shorter Rudy Takala:

Part I of II: How college made me more conservative

Above: Rudy can, as it were, fail

I used to be a libertarian until I encountered the gay homosexuals and their demands for liberty.

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard.

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133 Comments »

Smut Clyde said,

January 15, 2008 at 0:53

Mr Sherrett has modelled his hair style on a Magritte painting.
Tim (the other one) said,

January 15, 2008 at 0:57

“For some, college is a necessity. But only about thirty percent of American adults have attended college, and I would argue that the seventy percent who have not had to deal with this valueless, ideological whorehouse are all that has kept our nation from falling into the abyss of despotism.”

Loyola Marymount University Whorehouse. Class of ’75
El Cid said,

January 15, 2008 at 0:59

Does this mean that if you stare too long into the whorehouse, sometimes it stares back into you?
Righteous Bubba said,

January 15, 2008 at 1:04

Yeah, Rudy’s the bottom.
Tim (the other one) said,

January 15, 2008 at 1:08

“sometimes it stares back into you”

Ask me about my two kids’ “Whorehouse Loans” !
Pinko Punko said,

January 15, 2008 at 1:09

Hee, Bubba.
RodeoBob said,

January 15, 2008 at 1:09

Wow… Takala quotes D’Nesh… in a non-ironic, non-mocking way…

…Enthusiastic students entering college for the first time, who, unlike me, haven’t spent a decade learning how to articulate their beliefs…

Rudy Takala is 19 years old and is the chairman of Minnesota’s Pine County Republicans. He was homeschooled for nine years…

Hmm… he’s 19, and has “spent a decade learning how to articulate his beliefs”. No wonder this reads like it was written by a 3rd grader!

9 years of homeschooling, 3 years of college, and 19 years old. Yes, that seems like an exceptionally good foundation on which to make judgements about other people’s rights.
Blue Buddha said,

January 15, 2008 at 1:09

I used to be a libertarian until I encountered the gay homosexuals and their demands for liberty.

Yes, funny how a libertarian would be turned off by someone demanding liberty.
Bastion Booger said,

January 15, 2008 at 1:10

The fact is, Rudy is a brilliant young man who has been forced by the liberal fascist professors at his university to listen to the nonsense of accepting homosexual apostates as equals. The fact is, you liberals want to talk about affirmative action, well hows this for you an affirmative action hiring for Conservative Professors? Now that is an affirmative action program that I would support as it would be the fair thing to do since 90% of college professors are self described liberals.
Smut Clyde said,

January 15, 2008 at 1:12

There is a house in Los Angeles
They call Loyola Marymount
It’s been the ruin of many a man
So charge to your expense account.
tigrismus said,

January 15, 2008 at 1:12

Does this mean that if you stare too long into the whorehouse, sometimes it stares back into you?

Yes; it’s called the “hairy eye.”
Arky - Fascitanata said,

January 15, 2008 at 1:14

Um. How did Mr. Sterrett miss everything Alan “Froot Loops” Keyes has ever gibbered about gays?
FuriousGeorge said,

January 15, 2008 at 1:17

I suspect, although I can’t prove, that Mr. Takala’s been drinking brew for breakfast.
NutellaonToast said,

January 15, 2008 at 1:17

I don’t get the exception to Sterrett’s article. I mean, okie, his a libertarian so he’s prolly retarded, but other than mischaracterizing liberal’s views of the movie, he doen’t say anything patently absurd. Mostly it just seems to say “conservatives are retarded for bashing the movie and the sophomoric jokes are retarded too.” the first point is certainly true, and the latter, well, meh. Am I missing something.
J— said,

January 15, 2008 at 1:18

Takala:

For some, college is a necessity. But only about thirty percent of American adults have attended college, and I would argue that the seventy percent who have not had to deal with this valueless, ideological whorehouse are all that has kept our nation from falling into the abyss of despotism.

Here’s what you need to do, Rudy. Organize a national boycott of college. Drive that percentage up to one hundred. Starve the whorehouse and save the nation from the abyss.
Arky - Fascitanata said,

January 15, 2008 at 1:18

I could provide five anecdotal examples of their moral impositions for every day I’ve been in college, but I will refrain from what would be a redundant detailing.

Shorter: Help! My baby injector stood up in the locker room shower!
Simba B said,

January 15, 2008 at 1:18

He writes a weekly political column from his home in northern California.

Then he goes back to his Cheetos, Game Fuel, and WoW.

He’s a poor man’s Pantload.
SomeNYGuy said,

January 15, 2008 at 1:24

Do all 20-ish libertarians look like escapees from the Island of Dr. Moreau?
t4toby said,

January 15, 2008 at 1:28

I don’t know…Sheltered, home schooled boy, college, that frickin’ pink shirt !

I think he stared into the hairy eye (word, tigris!), and it winked.
EriktheRed said,

January 15, 2008 at 1:28

“The fact is, Rudy is a brilliant young man who has been forced by the LIBERAL FASCIST professors at his university to listen to the nonsense of accepting homosexual apostates as equals. The fact is, you liberals want to talk about affirmative action, well hows this for you an affirmative action hiring for Conservative Professors? Now that is an affirmative action program that I would support as it would be the fair thing to do since 90% of college professors are self described liberals.”

I see somebody’s already starting to use the new Con talking talking point authored by Doughy Pantload. With a bit of Christofascist winguttia thrown in to boot!
Lesley said,

January 15, 2008 at 1:30

No longer writes for RenewAmerica, for some reason

Oh you cheeky SadlyNosians!

Off topic but just have to rub it in!

January 12, 2008
VANCOUVER SUN
Ottawa loses marijuana fight
Licensed growers no longer restricted to just one customer
Meagan Fitzpatrick, Canwest News Services

The federal government lost another court challenge to its controversial medical marijuana program, and now has 30 days to decide whether to appeal the ruling that declared one of its key policies unconstitutional.

Under the current set of regulations, licensed producers are only allowed to grow the drug for one patient at a time. Federal Court Judge Barry Strayer said that the one-to-one ratio violates the Charter of Rights and Freedoms.

The decision, the latest in a string of court cases, will essentially mean more choice for approved medical marijuana users and should provide easier access for them to the drug.

“What the federal court effectively did was assert that the government of Canada does not have a monopoly over the production and distribution of medical marijuana,” said Alan Young, one of the lawyers that launched the court battle on behalf of 30 patients.

Authorized users who cannot grow their own marijuana because they are too ill, or for other reasons, must then rely on a sole source provider — either a licensed private producer, if they can find one willing to produce only for them, or the government, which buys plants from a Saskatchewan company.

“In my view it is not tenable for the government, consistently with the right established in other courts for qualified medical users to have reasonable access to marijuana, to force them either to buy from the government contractor, grow their own or be limited to the unnecessarily restrictive system of designated producers,” Strayer wrote in his decision, which was released late Thursday.

The one-to-one ratio was first struck down by an Ontario appeal court in 2003, but the government reinstated the policy several months later, prompting the current court challenge.

“We’re reviewing the decision,” said Paul Duchesne, a spokesman for Health Canada, which regulates the program. He would not comment further and did not indicate how quickly the government would decide about appealing the ruling. “As soon as there is a decision we will make that clear,” he said.

Young and his co-counsel Ron Marzel described the court’s ruling as a “nail in the coffin” of the one-to-one ratio restriction.

“In theory, patients now have a choice whether to buy from the government or whether to create the small collectives of patients that go to an experienced and knowledgeable grower,” said Young.

There are about 2,000 people legally allowed to use marijuana for medical purposes but fewer than 20 per cent buy it from the government’s supplier. Some patients say the quality is poor and others say only one strain of the plant is offered — different strains having unique therapeutic effects.

“It’s a clear message to Ottawa that they can’t stand in the way of providing much-needed medication for these individuals,” said Marzel.

He does expect, however, that the government will appeal the decision. If it does, or if it introduces a policy that only slightly changes the ratio, the lawyers say they will head back into court. Young said they will fight for a measure called supervisory jurisdiction, which would require Health Canada to submit progress reports to the court.

Strayer has already denied the request but Young said he will try again and has not ruled out lawsuits against Health Canada.

“I’m just trying to clean up the law and to ensure that sick people have proper, lawful access to a medicine of their choice,” said Young, a professor at Osgoode Hall Law School in Toronto. “But because of all the obstacles that have been put in that path over the last eight years, there will reach a point where it’s no longer about trying to use the courts to try and improve the program but it will be about punishing Health Canada for their incorrigibility.”

ILLUS: Colour Photo: Pete Brady, Advanced Nutrients / The federal government can’t stop users of medical marijuana from shopping around for licensed growers offering plant strains with unique therapeutic
effects, a court has ruled.

Go ahead, make fun of Canadians!
HumboldtBlue said,

January 15, 2008 at 1:32

Is that guy in the top photo the same dude who made the “leeeaaavvveee Britney alloooooooonnnneeee” youtube video?
Blue Buddha said,

January 15, 2008 at 1:33

SomeNYGuy said,

January 15, 2008 at 1:24

Do all 20-ish libertarians look like escapees from the Island of Dr. Moreau?

He who breaks the law must go back to the House of Pain.
Bistroist said,

January 15, 2008 at 1:35

NutellaonToast said
I don’t get the exception to Sterrett’s article. I mean, okie, his a libertarian so he’s prolly retarded, but other than mischaracterizing liberal’s views of the movie, he doen’t say anything patently absurd. Mostly it just seems to say “conservatives are retarded for bashing the movie and the sophomoric jokes are retarded too.” the first point is certainly true, and the latter, well, meh. Am I missing something.

That’s pretty much the point (unless I’m missing it as well). Sterrett wrote his piece two years ago, and for some mysterious reason no longer writes for Keyes’ site, unlike the ever popular Rudy Takala.

Also, I second PP’s accolades for Bubba, although I think it was more of a ‘heh’ than a ‘hee.’
Blue Buddha said,

January 15, 2008 at 1:36

EriktheRed said,

January 15, 2008 at 1:28

I see somebody’s already starting to use the new Con talking talking point authored by Doughy Pantload. With a bit of Christofascist winguttia thrown in to boot!

What Bastion can’t seem to understand is the fact that every time he uses that phrase, he must pay Jonah 29.4 cents in royalty, as it is copyrighted.
Nimrod Gently said,

January 15, 2008 at 1:39

A young Eric Stoltz as the Incredible Melting Man.

Seriously, he looks like his face lifts off at the top. His sunburnt, pockmarked face.
mikey said,

January 15, 2008 at 1:41

I love the way these dirty little idiots want to set themselves up as the ultimate arbiters of morality. As if they had some universal wisdom unavailable to the rest of us.

Fuck ‘em, I say.

Right in the ear…

mikey
Smut Clyde said,

January 15, 2008 at 1:41

Not to chase other Men; that is the Law. Are we not Men?
Nimrod Gently said,

January 15, 2008 at 1:42

WE ARE DEVO
Jennifer said,

January 15, 2008 at 1:45

Damn, Nimrod beat me to it.
FlipYrWhig said,

January 15, 2008 at 1:46

Takala: But only about thirty percent of American adults have attended college, and I would argue that the seventy percent who have not had to deal with this valueless, ideological whorehouse are all that has kept our nation from falling into the abyss of despotism. [...]

I could provide five anecdotal examples of their moral impositions for every day I’ve been in college, but I will refrain from what would be a redundant detailing.

I think he’s aiming for the verbal stylings of George Will or William F. Buckley, but all I’m getting is Victorian-novel villain.
Righteous Bubba said,

January 15, 2008 at 1:48

I second PP’s accolades for Bubba

All credit to Gavin. Initially the order of the two gentlemen was reversed; I just noticed the flip, which was an aesthetic softball lobbed in the direction of any liberal fascist worth his homeopathic remedies.
Jennifer said,

January 15, 2008 at 1:48

I think he’s aiming for the verbal stylings of George Will or William F. Buckley, but all I’m getting is Victorian-novel villain.

It indeed emits the distinct aroma of pearls being clutched and couches being fainted upon.
Blue Buddha said,

January 15, 2008 at 1:49

http://youtube.com/watch?v=hRguZr0xCOc
Jennifer said,

January 15, 2008 at 1:54

Thanks, BB, I really enjoyed that.
Blue Buddha said,

January 15, 2008 at 1:54

#

FlipYrWhig said,

January 15, 2008 at 1:46

I think he’s aiming for the verbal stylings of George Will or William F. Buckley, but all I’m getting is Victorian-novel villain.

All he needs to do now is grow a handlebar mustache and wear a stove pipe hat.
sxwarren said,

January 15, 2008 at 1:55

“. . . affirmative action hiring for Conservative Professors . . .”

Aren’t there already gubmint programs for, ummm, slow learners?
Smiling Mortician said,

January 15, 2008 at 1:56

So wait. That’s the actual picture Takala uses at SpewAmerica? I thought it was his audition glossy for the remake of Upper Class Twits.
yoyo said,

January 15, 2008 at 1:56

gee sure shows the value of homeschooling! Not.
Candy said,

January 15, 2008 at 1:59

Rudy Takala = Snidely Whiplash
DAS said,

January 15, 2008 at 1:59

other than mischaracterizing liberal’s views of the movie – NutellaonToast

And mischaracterize he does.

What I find amazing, though, is how prevelent this sort of “reasoning” is: So-and-So, since he’s not labeled himself as a conservative, by virtue of being involved in Hollywood or being Jewish or something, must be a liberal — therefore whatever horrendous things So-and-So says or does are representative of how liberals think and act.

I wonder how many bad stereotypes people have about liberals are based on the beliefs and statements made by TeeVee news types who aren’t even really liberal in any meaningful sense?
Candy said,

January 15, 2008 at 2:03

I wonder how many bad stereotypes people have about liberals are based on the beliefs and statements made by TeeVee news types who aren’t even really liberal in any meaningful sense?

A lot, I’m sure, for much the same reason people think Clinton and Obama are liberals, even leftists. Sometimes I despair.
Blue Buddha said,

January 15, 2008 at 2:03

Jennifer said,

January 15, 2008 at 1:54

Thanks, BB, I really enjoyed that.

– Have you got the papers the Chinaman gave you?

– Here it is dad. Is it a surprise?

– Yes Boogie. In the past this information has been suppressed. But now it can be told: every man, woman and mutant on this planet shall know the truth about devolution.

– Oh dad… we’re all Devo!
atheist said,

January 15, 2008 at 2:06

I wonder how far that Sterrett guy will wander off of the reservation. Gavin, you say he no longer writes for RenewAmerica? Was that his last column for them or something? He’s writing in kind of a ‘false centrism’ mode, trying to make equivalences between the political right and left that don’t really exist. He’s not trying too hard, though. I wonder if Sterrett is chafing at the mental restrictions that propaganda imposes on you.
Righteous Bubba said,

January 15, 2008 at 2:06

Once Mark Mothersbaugh said something nice about a band I was in. I was impressed at how small he was. That is all.
caliph garrett said,

January 15, 2008 at 2:07

since he’s not labeled himself as a conservative, by virtue of being involved in Hollywood or being Jewish or something, must be a liberal

Behold the Stage Blood Libel.
DAS said,

January 15, 2008 at 2:08

This isn’t about allowing people to live as they wish. It’s about reaffirming democracy. In a democracy, everyone is given a chance to vote, and the majority prevails.

Suppose the majority of people decide that guys who wear pink shirts shouldn’t be allowed to write columns. Mr. Takala’s college professors stand up for the right of guys who wear pink shirts to write columns. Because some liberal college professors spout some strong rhetoric about that right, is Mr. Takala going to say, in spite of his previous libertarian beliefs on the subject, the fate of democracy depends on preventing people who wear pink shirts from writing columns?

Personally, I figure the problem with conservatives of the Takala sort is that they’ve not had proper parenting. Didn’t Mr. Takala’s mother or father ever ask him “just because everyone else is jumping off a cliff, does that mean you should jump off a cliff?”. And yet, he pretty much argues “since everyone else doesn’t want teh gays to marry, I don’t want teh gays to marry” …

Time was conservatives made a big deal out of our nation being a republic not a democracy (not that they had any real principled reason to do so — they just wanted people to think that voting for Republicans was more properly American than voting for Democrats): nowadays conservatives actively denounce republican virtues as dangerously elitist. Oy gevalt!
GoatBoy said,

January 15, 2008 at 2:08

We must repeat!
atheist said,

January 15, 2008 at 2:08

Fuck ‘em, I say.

Right in the ear…

mikey

Worked for Iggy Pop.
Jennifer said,

January 15, 2008 at 2:09

I wonder how far that Sterrett guy will wander off of the reservation. Gavin, you say he no longer writes for RenewAmerica? Was that his last column for them or something?

I’d be surprised if it wasn’t his last column for them. I’m sure they all got heebie-jeebies over him catching teh ghey.
the_millionaire_lebowski said,

January 15, 2008 at 2:15

I think he’s aiming for the verbal stylings of George Will or William F. Buckley, but all I’m getting is Victorian-novel villain.

All he needs to do now is grow a handlebar mustache and wear a stove pipe hat.

Photoshop this. POTATOSHOOP THIS!
billy pilgrim said,

January 15, 2008 at 2:15

even Shorter Rudy:

College would be OK if not for all the riff-raff.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

January 15, 2008 at 2:18

Candy said,
January 15, 2008 at 2:03

A lot, I’m sure, for much the same reason people think Clinton and Obama are liberals, even leftists. Sometimes I despair.

See those lefty leftesian lieberals, Fred Hiatt and Dave Broder at the Washingtoon Post, just for instance!
Smiling Mortician said,

January 15, 2008 at 2:19

I’d be surprised if it wasn’t his last column for them.

Looks like RA published at least four more Sterrett columns . . .
a different brad said,

January 15, 2008 at 2:22

Anyone have the link for the greasemonkey anti-troll add-on handy? My laptop died on me and I’m on a different computer, and too lazy to search through threads here.
mikey said,

January 15, 2008 at 2:25

Here ya be, DiffBrad:

http://userscripts.org/scripts/show/6541

mikey
Righteous Bubba said,

January 15, 2008 at 2:27

Rudy:

Today I am unequivocally in favor of a marriage amendment at both the state and national levels. This isn’t about allowing people to live as they wish. It’s about reaffirming democracy. In a democracy, everyone is given a chance to vote, and the majority prevails.

I believe that’s the “everybody’s gotta do what we say” article of the constitution, which briefly caused some of the founders to abandon the sandbox.
Righteous Bubba said,

January 15, 2008 at 2:29

Old script:
http://userscripts.org/scripts/show/6541

New script:
http://userscripts.org/scripts/show/13541
Smiling Mortician said,

January 15, 2008 at 2:30

Just looked at the four Sterrett columns published at RA after the Brokeback one . . . I think I see a reason for the last one being his last one. Not very respectful of Dear Leader at all. Tsk.
mikey said,

January 15, 2008 at 2:32

There’s a “new” script?

Do I need it, Bubba? Everybody’s been real good about eating their pie…

mikey
a different brad said,

January 15, 2008 at 2:33

thankee rb.
Righteous Bubba said,

January 15, 2008 at 2:34

The new script makes killing and unkilling trolls much easier but collapses the comment and has no soothing endorsement of delectable pastries.

Your call.
a different brad said,

January 15, 2008 at 2:35

n mikey.
J— said,

January 15, 2008 at 2:35

Takala pitched a real humdinger just after the Iowa caucuses. After proclaiming Obama’s victory to be of the same historical significance as Martin Luther’s 95 theses, the Boston Tea Party, and the Gettysburg address, he goes on to encourage his conservative and libertarian readers (this is at the Intellectual Conservative) to support for Obama for president. Operating under the assumption that Obama and Huckabee will be the nominees, he argues it would be better to have an open socialist as president (the former) than a secret one pretending to be a conservative (the latter). This is wake up to country to what socialism really is and bring on a true conservative backlash, similar to the Reagan Revolution.

The essay also includes my Most Favored Sentence of the Day:

Contrary to the cynicism of some, the Republican Party hasn’t lost its value yet. That’s a fact for which I am representative. But we are not far from it.

I have italicized my Most Favored Sentence of the Day.
J— said,

January 15, 2008 at 2:38

Ugh, corrections.

“to support Obama for”

“This will wake up”
mikey said,

January 15, 2008 at 2:39

Hmm. I was just looking at the source. Pretty clever, young fellah.

But I’m concerned about making it too easy on myself. I have never, for example, added Gary the Rup to my list of trolls. He’s part of Sadly, No like hot weather is to Phoenix or assholes are to Los Gatos.

And the admission that they have a weakness for sweet pastry desert items just kind of humanizes them to me.

I’ll stand pat for now. If the many-headed saulbooger continues to mutate, I may have to rethink this, however…

mikey
Mister DNA said,

January 15, 2008 at 2:39

Did somebody say DEVO?

It looks to me like Isaiah Z. Sterrett is attracted to libertarianism because he wants to justify hitting the bong when he wakes up in the morning.
MzNicky said,

January 15, 2008 at 2:47

Rudy looks like a parody, like one of those “people on the street” interviewees in the Onion.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

January 15, 2008 at 2:47

Ben Stein just now on Cokehead Larry™:

“We don’t have a problem with the economy.

We have a problem with a labor force that doesn’t want to work hard.”
Blue Buddha said,

January 15, 2008 at 2:52

J— said,

January 15, 2008 at 2:35

The essay also includes my Most Favored Sentence of the Day:

Contrary to the cynicism of some, the Republican Party hasn’t lost its value yet. That’s a fact for which I am representative. But we are not far from it.

My my. What a narcissistic little twit. I guess this is what happens when you’ve had very little social contact outside the home for half your life, and your mommy says you’re special. Look in the mirror much Rudy?
billy pilgrim said,

January 15, 2008 at 2:56

Ben Stein criticizing others for not working hard.

It’s – I lost my breath for a moment there. The gall is astounding.

Jeez, asshole. At least I didn’t write speeches for Nixon
Blue Buddha said,

January 15, 2008 at 2:56

ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

January 15, 2008 at 2:47

Ben Stein just now on Cokehead Larry™:

“We don’t have a problem with the economy.

We have a problem with a labor force that doesn’t want to work hard.”

ROFLcopter. Someone needs to inform them that in the past 5-10 years, the average American worker puts in more hours per year than the stereotypical harder working Japanese.
jas said,

January 15, 2008 at 2:58

Funny. There’s an article at slashdot.org today, where geeks were asked what they’d do if they were elected President. It’s depressing just how many of them begin “I’d start by hiring Ron Paul…” or “…I’d legalize weed…” or “…I’d abolish income taxes…”

I weep for our future.
jim said,

January 15, 2008 at 3:00

Couldn’t help but notice at the bottom of Rudy’s article, that he’s currently working on a book about the American school system.

That should go great in the library between Pope John’s views on sex before marriage, and Richard Mellon Scaife’s views on how the poor should make themselves more rich.
MzNicky said,

January 15, 2008 at 3:01

Rudy Takala =
Kraut Lad? Ya!
Yuk! A Rat Lad
Yak a la Turd
tigrismus said,

January 15, 2008 at 3:09

We have a problem with a labor force that doesn’t want to work hard

I forget, what hard work does he do again? Stevedore? Farmer?
Djur said,

January 15, 2008 at 3:11

Re: Dr. Moreau / DEVO.

I had a late-night drunken revel some time ago that culminated in a screening of that crappy movie version of Dr. Moreau. You know, the one with Val Kilmer.

Anyway, the best part of the entire movie-watching process was everyone present shouting “We are devo” whenever anyone in the movie said “Are we not Men?” or “We are not Men.”

It’s an interesting situation when a phrase is co-opted so completely that the original context is obliterated. Marx’s paraphrasing of Acts is another example, as is the right wing’s appropriation of “politically correct.”
Ben Stein said,

January 15, 2008 at 3:11

do you how hard it is to put up with everyone calling “Buellar….Buellar….” at you all the time? that’s hard work!
mikey said,

January 15, 2008 at 3:16

I, for one, truly DON’T want to work hard.

I’d like to not work at all.

Couple of naps, a little surfing, blog for an hour, get dressed and go out to eat with hot chix.

That would be a MUCH better life.

So what was the point again?

mikey
Dagoril said,

January 15, 2008 at 3:20

Am I the only person who is baffled by the anti-gay “libertarians”, who somehow manage to make Austin Scarlett and Carson Kressley look macho? I don’t think that I am!

“I used to be a libertarian, until Republicans ass-raped me and made me wear pink!”
alec said,

January 15, 2008 at 3:20

Not being a godless communist! *shakes fist*

It annoys me sometimes how deeply engrained the survivalist impulse seems to be in the western US. Puerile-cum-adult Randroids are ridiculous assholes, and it should be logically preposterous to become a Republican from an actually libertarian position – that is, there’s no fucking way to wrap your head around the culture of authority worship and aggressive work against a free or fair market unless you’re just going along for the reduced taxes, and even those usually wind up biting you in the ass.

Seriously. I used to like to call myself a libertarian socialist, but then it started giving people Goddam conniptions. Americans are retarded.
Smiling Mortician said,

January 15, 2008 at 3:22

Did Stein actually say “labor force”? ‘Cause y’know, those types tend to avoid words that might make workers sound, well, forceful.

BTW, anybody hear Huckabee today in Michigan? Um, well, way I see it, somebody’s gotta make cars, right? And as I understand it, Michigan has some factories and stuff already in place. Right? Am I right? So why shouldn’t cars be made in Michigan?

It was fun listening for the three members of the audience who thought it would be rude not to give him a golf clap.
Galactic Dustbin said,

January 15, 2008 at 3:26

It’s so sad what homeschooling is doing to the next generation
Flying Fox said,

January 15, 2008 at 3:29

Rudy, Rudy, Rudy. When you’re in class and the professor is clearly trying not to call on you, the professor is not trying to silence your views, the professor wants to hear from the other students who are using you’re enthusiasm as a shield. See, sometimes, if there are two or three students in class who are bursting with things to say, and you strike me as one of those students Rudy. I’m like that. The professors want other people to talk. Its more interesting that way. My advice, just sit back, take notes and relax. Or, maybe the professor is not taking your comments because the lesson plan has a lot to cover, and there just isn’t enough to have a real dialogue going in class or it just won’t get down. That’s called a lecture, Rudy. That’s not suppression of a student’s views. And another thing, at my college, people tend not to take newspapers and newsletters home unless they need information out of it for something. They read it on the spot, finish, and leave it for someone else or throw it away so as not to make a mess. When they sit for a long time, and the janitor throws old newsletters away, that isn’t the University suppressing views it doesn’t like. That’s the janitor cleaning up after a bunch of snotty kids who left a mess over a period of two months. Am I clear?

One last thing. Life is too short to whine about some professor you don’t like. You’re only in college once, and then its over. Have some fun. Go out with friends. Take a weekend road trip and have an adventure.
mikey said,

January 15, 2008 at 3:33

y’know, Mortician, back in the seventies I lived a few miles from this weird golf course (Indian Valley) that was on two different levels. So there was this big metal cage on a monorail that could take a whole buncha guys and their clubs from one level to the next.

Well, the point is, they left it powered up all night, so we used to go out there, get real high and fuck while making it go up and down the rail on a summer night under the stars. REALLY cool.

So I met this really attractive woman at the clothing optional lake out in Olema. We ended up out at the golf course, and had a really interesting night.

But the bad news?

I got the golf clap….

mikey
Lesley said,

January 15, 2008 at 3:33

Speaking of reasons to fear Huckabee, evangelicals are throwing their hats behind him (and ditching Pat Robertson) because Huck’s the only candidate they claim isn’t waffling on issues like abortion and gay rights.

January 12, 2008
Evangelical Leaders Rebuffed By Followers
Support Huckabee Heidi Przybyla And Lorraine Woellert,
Bloomberg News
COLUMBIA, S.C. – Jennifer Stec, a member of the North-side Family & Friends Baptist Church here, says she has stopped writing cheques to national evangelical groups such as Pat Robertson’s 700 Club. Instead, her donations go to Mike Huckabee, the former Arkansas governor.

She says she is backing the ordained Baptist minister in her state’s Jan. 19 Republican presidential primary because Mr. Robertson, the television evangelist, “sacrificed Christian principles” by endorsing the candidacy of Rudy Giuliani, the former New York mayor, who supports abortion and gay rights.

“If you don’t feel like the establishment is representing you, you’ll elect somebody else,” said the 34-year-old working mother. “That’s called revolution, right?”

Ms. Stec belongs to an evangelical flock that is outrunning its leadership in this election. This grassroots movement helped Mr. Huckabee win the Jan. 3 Iowa caucus, ignoring Mr. Robertson’s support for Mr. Giuliani or Bob Jones III’s endorsement of Mitt Romney, the former Massachusetts governor and a Mormon.

“There has been some falling-out between the base of the Christian conservative movement and its leadership,” said Greg Mueller, an unaffiliated Republican political consultant, who has advised antiabortion groups and worked on the presidential campaigns of Pat Buchanan in 1996 and Steve Forbes in 2000.

As Mr. Huckabee campaigned in South Carolina this week, he made clear he was counting on this parting of ways between the rank and file and the leaders to win in the state, where evangelicals may account for up to 40% of the Republican primary vote.

“Evangelicals aren’t a monolithic group,” Mr. Huckabee said in an interview in Spartanburg on Jan. 9. “They think for themselves.”

Polls show him running neck and neck with John Mc-Cain, the Arizona Senator, for first place in South Carolina’s Republican primary. The vote takes place between Michigan’s Jan. 15 contest and the Florida primary Jan. 29.

Mr. Huckabee has come out of nowhere in South Carolina, much as he did in Iowa. In a September Bloomberg/Los Angeles Times survey, he had only 3% backing among the state’s Republicans, with just 6% of those voters saying he was the best candidate on social issues such as abortion and gay rights.
He still faces serious obstacles. He does not have a large official political organization and may face competition for evangelical voters from Fred Thompson, the former Tennessee senator, who is making a last stand in South Carolina.

This could benefit Mr. McCain, who won the New Hampshire Republican primary this week and can draw on several assets.

The former Vietnam prisoner of war has broad appeal in the state’s sizable military community and has the closest ties to its Republican establishment, with the backing of U.S. Senator Lindsey Graham and 48 state legislators.
In 2000, Mr. McCain’s campaign was derailed after he lost South Carolina to George W. Bush, who received the support of evangelical voters.

There are no sane people running to head the Republican party. None. Zip. I’d like to believe Americans have smartened up but with the support for Hillary and McCain I have to wonder. They are both pro-war. What gives? And this Huckabee freak! My god, America you are MENTALLY ILL.
Trilateral Chairman said,

January 15, 2008 at 3:37

Today I am unequivocally in favor of a marriage amendment at both the state and national levels. This isn’t about allowing people to live as they wish. It’s about reaffirming democracy.

All that education, and he never learned what a non sequitur is.

Sad.
DAS said,

January 15, 2008 at 3:40

Jeez, asshole. At least I didn’t write speeches for Nixon – Billy Pilgrim

But that was terribly hard work. Can you imagine?

BS: Here’s the speech for –
RN: I know, I read your @$&#ing speech already. It makes me sound like a pompous ass — like you. Why can’t I tell the rabble rousers to just #@$% off?
BS: It’s called making your case and getting people to like you, Mr. President
RN: Why should I try to get them to like me? They’ll never like me. And frankly, I don’t get it: I’m more like them than I am like “the Man”. Why don’t they see that we’re on the same side? I have to fight “the Man” too!
BS: Perhaps if you –
RN: Ah, shut up you $#@% @#!$ dirty @#$%ing Jew boy
Batocchio said,

January 15, 2008 at 3:41

Heinlein was at least entertaining!
billy pilgrim said,

January 15, 2008 at 3:42

But the bad news?

I got the golf clap….

oh, mikey.

I used to have RESPECT for you.

What happened, did all the troll comments make you go loopers?
fardels bear said,

January 15, 2008 at 3:54

Rudy sez he has FIVE anecdotes to prove how nasty them colleges. FIVE! If he hadn’t been homeschooled he would’ve pointed out that that is more than one a year!!! That means that once every 10 classes or so some professor said something Rudy didn’t like! That never happened when his mommy was homeschooling him! Wah!!!!
Arky - Professional Peace Disturber said,

January 15, 2008 at 3:56

Then if you got it
you don’t want it
seems to be the rule of thumb;
Don’t be tricked by what you see
you got two ways to go

I’ll say it again in the
land of the free
Use your freedom of choice,
Freedom of choice

Since ya’ll had to mention DEVO.
Tim (the other one) said,

January 15, 2008 at 4:02

“Couple of naps, a little surfing, blog for an hour, get dressed and go out to eat with hot chix.”

“That’s a fact for which I am representative.”

Ctrl C
Ctrl V
Jennifer said,

January 15, 2008 at 4:06

Well, then, I’ll just weave together the disparate threads here (Rudy and DEVO) by saying:

MongMongoloid he was a mongoloid
Happier than you and me
Mongoloid he was a mongoloid
And it determined what he could see
Mongoloid he was a mongoloid
One chromosome too many
Mongoloid he was a mongoloid
And it determined what he could see
And he wore a hat
And he had a job
And he brought home the bacon
So that no one knew
Mongoloid he was a mongoloid
His friends were unaware
Mongoloid he was a mongoloid
Nobody even cared
tommy yum said,

January 15, 2008 at 4:09

You know, it’s good to give young people with pink shirts a platform, but Marie Jon’ is just as stupid and exponentially hotter.
Chairman Meow said,

January 15, 2008 at 4:12

Rudy Takala and Lord Snot, separated at birth?
conumbdrum said,

January 15, 2008 at 4:15

Takala ANGRY student! Takala SMASH!

“I look back on the years I’ve spent witnessing a wasteland that can emblemize the product of secular liberalism with no greater purity.”

Funny. Alan Keyes does happen to be a very intelligent, articulate man, aside from being crazier than a bag of snakes… how does he deal with being caretaker of a website packed with some of the most godawful writers imaginable?
J— said,

January 15, 2008 at 4:18

Off topic but, in my opinion, amusing: tech support way, way back in the day.
ice weasel said,

January 15, 2008 at 4:26

Stop picking on Heinlein.
Arky - Professional Peace Disturber said,

January 15, 2008 at 4:29

“I look back on the years I’ve spent witnessing a wasteland that can emblemize the product of secular liberalism with no greater purity.”

Someone R’lyeh, R’lyeh likes Lovecraft.

“By the time you read this blog post, [fap] I shall be no more. [fap fap fap] Too long have I tarried amongst the decadent fleshpit of salaciousness [fap fap] disguised as the soaring, solemn groves of Academe [fap fap fap!] …”

I wonder if his loathing of college has anything to do with the grades his icky no fair nasty mean liberal leg-humping profs gave him.
J. A. Baker said,

January 15, 2008 at 4:30

Tell me something, is wingnut welfare paying for Rudy’s tuition at Hamdinger U?
Anne Laurie said,

January 15, 2008 at 4:32

MzNicky, I believe that would be “Turd ala Yak”. Not just your ordinary bovine excrement, but a very *special* variety of BS!

As for Mr. Sterrett, most of us did foolish things when we were in college, and one advantage to be really old is that none of my college antics ended up on the Intertoobz. (Although I was smart enough to avoid the Libertarian Impulse, some of my best friends… )
harlemjd said,

January 15, 2008 at 4:33

Sterrett’s right about one thing, though. Brokeback Mountain’s no Forrest Gump.

I love how that’s just sitting there in the middle of a rant about how everyone else doesn’t know how to appreciate movies properly.
Blue Buddha said,

January 15, 2008 at 4:37

the_millionaire_lebowski said,

January 15, 2008 at 2:15

I think he’s aiming for the verbal stylings of George Will or William F. Buckley, but all I’m getting is Victorian-novel villain.

All he needs to do now is grow a handlebar mustache and wear a stove pipe hat.

Photoshop this. POTATOSHOOP THIS!

Okay fine. Here’s my crappy photoshopping.
tigrismus said,

January 15, 2008 at 4:42

Mwahaha! “You must pay the rent!” “But I can’t pay the rent!”
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

January 15, 2008 at 4:47

I, for one, thank mikey for returning Sadly, No! to the basics.

Cry havoc, and let slip the poop jokes of culture war!
lobbey said,

January 15, 2008 at 5:09

That never happened when his mommy was homeschooling him! Wah!!!!

of course not, he was one of mummy’s ‘special boys’…….
Barrayaran said,

January 15, 2008 at 5:20

Erm… anyone have a link for the Ben Stein quote about the labor force not wanting to work? (I don’t doubt it, I just want some backup.)
g said,

January 15, 2008 at 5:22

Couldn’t help but notice at the bottom of Rudy’s article, that he’s currently working on a book about the American school system.

Oh, great. Another rightwinger writing a book about something he knows nothing about!

Seriously – this guy was home schooled. So what does he know about the American school system?
g said,

January 15, 2008 at 5:23

I’m curious why Rudy, being so sure about his ideals and such, didn’t choose one of those fine colleges run by a religious organization more to his thinking.

Just sayin’.
Ref said,

January 15, 2008 at 5:28

Damn! It’s guys like this that make me think “Douchebag” every time I see a bow tie.
Mo's Bike Shop said,

January 15, 2008 at 5:33

In a democracy, everyone is given a chance to vote, and the majority prevails.

Which is why we don’t live in a Democracy. We live in a Democratic Republic.

Schmendrick.
g said,

January 15, 2008 at 5:35

Um, just visiting the webpage of his college, and – I don’t see any gay-oriented student organization. So what the fuck is he talking about, his student fees supporting gay stuff?

FYI – it’s a Methodist university, for crissakes.
g said,

January 15, 2008 at 5:37

Christ. You search the word “gay” on the college’s website and you only get 3 hits.

I guess thats too much gayness for little Rudy to handle.
Arky - Professional Peace Disturber said,

January 15, 2008 at 5:53

Um, just visiting the webpage of his college, and – I don’t see any gay-oriented student organization. So what the fuck is he talking about, his student fees supporting gay stuff?

Ah ah. Did his college have any anti-gay orgs?

There you go, then.

For oily little twerps like Boom Takalaka, absence isn’t enough. There has to be continual repudiation and outright hostility.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

January 15, 2008 at 6:09

Barrayaran said,

January 15, 2008 at 5:20

Erm… anyone have a link for the Ben Stein quote about the labor force not wanting to work? (I don’t doubt it, I just want some backup.)

That was my ‘shorter’ from listening to Ben on Cokehead Larry’s CNBC show this afternoon. You’d need the transcript to be sure, but I think I caught the essence of his snotty-nosed scorn.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

January 15, 2008 at 6:12

Unctuous! “Characterized by affected, exaggerated, or insincere earnestness”.

That’s Ben Stein.
Smut Clyde said,

January 15, 2008 at 6:20

All that education, and he never learned what a non sequitur is.
Why should he be expected to learn the names of gardening tools? That is for the hired help.

I look back on the years I’ve spent witnessing a wasteland that can emblemize the product of secular liberalism with no greater purity.

As Arky was hinting, that’s the kind of writing that usually comes to light when everyone is discussing the dead gunman’s motivation.
atheist said,

January 15, 2008 at 6:38

“I look back on the years I’ve spent witnessing a wasteland that can emblemize the product of secular liberalism with no greater purity.”

It’s also pretty bad prose. I used to write like that back when I was a somewhat pretentious high school student.
mikey said,

January 15, 2008 at 6:51

I used to write like that back when I was a somewhat ~~pretentious~~ incoherent high school student.

Fixed!!

mikey
Bob Scum said,

January 15, 2008 at 7:23

These guys remind me of my first college roommate.
He started the year as a homophobic bigot and ended the year with a hispanic boyfriend.
So, there is hope!
porcoises and tuna said,

January 15, 2008 at 9:22

you aren’t allowed to discuss reasons why the republicans and democrats both support unlimited aggression against Iraqis. you whisper honest reasons among best friends in private, but are not permitted to discuss such things here.

your sense of decorum is quantifiable and reliable. you can be counted on to spin spin spin the aggression until nobody feels like anyone’s being murdered anymore. except the people who are actually being murdered on your behalf. oops!
zebbidies spring said,

January 15, 2008 at 12:07

porcoises and tuna

That was a very strange comment.

But thankyou for giving our Rudy a working example of non sequitor.

Your pay cheque is in the mail.
Mrs Tilton said,

January 15, 2008 at 14:35

I can’t pretend my psychic gifts are on par with Sher Zieve’s, but here are my predictions for these two fine young men:

1) the long-haired one just might possibly grow up and become a decent person (or at least the old fashioned kind of Republican, the sort you wouldn’t vote for, but who didn’t obviously need massive hourly doses of haloperidol).

2) the slick-haired one is going to become (i) a loving husband and father, (ii) a pillar of his megachurch congregation and (iii) very familiar, over a period of many years, with the stalls in men’s airport toilets.
Arky - Professional Peace Disturber said,

January 15, 2008 at 15:26

2) the slick-haired one is going to become (i) a loving husband and father, (ii) a pillar of his megachurch congregation and (iii) very familiar, over a period of many years, with the stalls in men’s airport toilets.

No to (iii). Due to a recent glut, the Velvet Mafia has decreed a 20 year moratorium on “Rabidly Homophobic Dudes Who Like Dick.” People are trying to get the right to marry and adopt kids and not get fired by other RHDs (who probably like dick) and every time a RHDWLD winds up in the papers it distracts everyone and there’s a big fight about whether it is right to point and laugh (yes) or comfort the poor unhappy conflicted thing (no).

From now on, RHDWLDs caught soliciting for dick will no longer get dick. Neither will they be ridiculed in the media as RHDWLD. They will be knocked out, stripped naked, covered in dog hair and lube and tied to the toilet for the janitor to find as a secret warning to Rick Santorum.

I know it may seem unfair to some but Mr. Takala will have to become a serial killer like Denis Rader.
pedestrian said,

January 15, 2008 at 16:20

Um, just visiting the webpage of his college, and – I don’t see any gay-oriented student organization. So what the fuck is he talking about, his student fees supporting gay stuff?

His description of campus life was like the “breasts like bags of sand” moment in that one movie that I didn’t think was very funny.

I don’t think he’s ever actually been to college. I think that he just sits in his bedroom and explores fictional wingnut spaces with the power of his im-rage-ination.
Craig said,

January 15, 2008 at 16:33

“Libertarians think the only legitimate function of government is to protect them from their own slaves.” — Kim Stanley Robinson

And another privileged white male comes to believe that democracy should, after all, be three wolves and a sheep voting on what’s for dinner. Who would have thought?
tigrismus said,

January 15, 2008 at 16:40

He was home-schooled, maybe he’s now being home-colleged? Or an autodidact, like Goldberg’s advanced degree-holding father?
Joshua said,

January 15, 2008 at 18:25

Someone needs to blow some weed smoke into this Rudy kid’s face when he is sleeping.
Mona said,

January 16, 2008 at 2:01

Do all 20-ish libertarians look like escapees from the Island of Dr. Moreau?

I didn’t. I’m 51 now and a pudgy g’ma. But in my 20s? I sizzled, and had a great time doing so. A libertarian all along.

Course, I’ve also always been a total fag hag.

Anyway, Rudy Takala looks like shit in the last foto. He needs the longer hair.
Craig said,

January 16, 2008 at 4:09

Rudy Takala – 1 look at his photo and you just know he went through college without once getting laid.
Nick said,

January 18, 2008 at 5:40

What IS it with conservatives and bow ties, anyway?
Amina Mammano said,

November 12, 2010 at 12:16

Interesting post, I am going to put it on my blog

Toward A Field Taxonomy Of The Teenage Libertarian (Heinleinium puerilus)

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