Jan
10
10
Dep’t Of Weights And Measures
Unfogged yields the following:
In a short profile of [swimmer] Michael Phelps, we learn that he needs to eat between 8,000 and 10,000 calories each day. Converting 10,000 calories into Universal McDonald’s Units, we find that the following meal plan would suffice:
Breakfast:
2 Big Macs
1 Quarter Pounder w/ Cheese
1 Medium FriesMid-morning snack:
2 Big Macs
1 Quarter Pounder w/ Cheese
1 Medium FriesLunch:
2 Big Macs
1 Quarter Pounder w/ Cheese
1 Medium FriesMid-afternoon snack:
2 Big Macs
1 Quarter Pounder w/ Cheese
1 Medium FriesDinner:
2 Big Macs
1 Quarter Pounder w/ Cheese
1 Medium Fries
Why, that’s 66.6 ounces of Blair’s Death Rain Cracked Kettle Crab Chips or 1,428 servings of male ejaculate. Or I guess you could mix the two.
Gavin smells like shit said,
January 10, 2008 at 8:13
You liberal traitors should be put in detention camps for aiding and abetting the enemy in a time of war.
Patkin said,
January 10, 2008 at 8:16
Still looking for evidence any of us did that, Booger.
g said,
January 10, 2008 at 8:16
Mmm. Could use some ranch dressing to dip those chips in.
Gavin smells like shit said,
January 10, 2008 at 8:18
How about a heaping plate of treason fries with a whopping side of pork for you libs.
Gavin smells like shit said,
January 10, 2008 at 8:18
Don’t forget the Kool-Aid.
Gavin M. said,
January 10, 2008 at 8:26
Ok, Mr. Troll-of-the-Woods-with-a-Thousand-Young. Tomorrow I’m going to have to address this issue, with the tireless posting of boring comments one after the next, under a suite of different names.
I realize trolling is a personal art form, but let me make a suggestion: Use one identity at a time, and try to go for quality, not quantity. Learn from the great geniuses of your art.
r€nato said,
January 10, 2008 at 8:31
Hmph! Every troops-hating cappucino-swilling pointy-headed fancy-pants book-larnin’ intellectual knows that red wine goes with treason and fries, thank you very much.
r€nato said,
January 10, 2008 at 8:32
Gavin, why does the troll think you share his addiction to coprophilia?
r€nato said,
January 10, 2008 at 8:34
Sorry, those spaces are reserved for the Republicans whom Hitlery KKKlintoon is going to throw in there on Jan. 21, 2009.
kingubu said,
January 10, 2008 at 8:37
1,428 servings of male ejaculate
Ah, the
JennyLarry Craig System.r€nato said,
January 10, 2008 at 8:37
Christ, how many rolls of TP does this guy go through in a day? I feel sorry for his GI tract.
r€nato said,
January 10, 2008 at 8:47
Coincidentally, Jonah Goldberg needs to eat between 8,000 and 10,000 calories each day in order to generate the vast quantity of bullshit he spews in his books and op-ed columns and Corner posts.
Converting 10,000 calories into Universal CheetoDew Units, I find the following meal plan would suffice:
Breakfast:
1 regular bag of Cheetos
6 pack of Mountain Dew
Lunch:
1 extra-large bag of Cheetos
2 2-liter bottles of Mountain Dew
Dinner:
2 extra-large bags of Cheetos
12 pack of Mountain Dew
Scientists are still endeavoring to come up with a number large enough to quantify the number of Cheetos which Jonah was required to consume in order to squeeze out the giant, steaming turd which is Liberal Fascism.
Hoosier X said,
January 10, 2008 at 9:03
I’m very sorry, gsls, but we are NOT giving out an award for “most tedious conservative.”
If we were, you would surely win.
Why don’t you take it to Iraq? Instead of dishonoring America’s soldiers by screaming treason at your fellow Americans just because you disagree with them, you could do something constructive for your country by stopping a bullet meant for one of your honorable countrymen.
noen said,
January 10, 2008 at 9:36
Ya know, they never had stuff like that Go Ask Alice website when I was growing up. We didn’y get great advice like this:
All we got was Ann Landers.
a different brad said,
January 10, 2008 at 9:52
Errrrr, what’s that in big ass size Razzmatazzes from Jamba Juice?
That’s as close as I get to fast food anymore.
tb said,
January 10, 2008 at 9:53
Servings?
FlipYrWhig said,
January 10, 2008 at 10:27
In America, we love single-serve packages. They’re hell to open, though.
pedestrian said,
January 10, 2008 at 15:54
How about a heaping plate of treason fries with a whopping side of pork for you libs.
More evidence that xtian and islamic fundamentalists are actually one and the same.
BDIII said,
January 10, 2008 at 19:08
5 courses of tasty McGoodness – About $20
Passing your first slimy black stool after they cut out the colon cancer and sew yr poop chute back together – Priceless.
PeeJ said,
January 10, 2008 at 19:30
Michael Phelps? 1,428 servings of male ejaculate? What’re you trying to get me horny or something? DAMN!
Righteous Bubba said,
January 10, 2008 at 19:37
1,428 servings of male ejaculate?
Remember: don’t fill up on bread first.
pluky said,
January 10, 2008 at 20:33
For the record, this is between 4 and 5 times the daily caloric requirement of a normal human!
Realist said,
January 10, 2008 at 22:07
Actually, using the nutritional information on the McDonalds website, Gavin’s menu would fall 150 calories short of the necessary 10,000. Better add ten packets of ketchup (15 calories each) to make up the difference.
Righteous Bubba said,
January 10, 2008 at 22:20
Liberals: weak on the condimentals.
PeeJ said,
January 10, 2008 at 22:50
Got me so excited I ran, didn’t walk, to the tubs. Only 1,427 to go!
Tanx Bubba for the righteous advice.
Teh Ghost of Wesley Willis said,
January 10, 2008 at 23:35
McDonalds is a place to rock
It is a restaurant where they buy food to eat
It is a good place to listen to the music
People flock here to get down to the rock music
Rock n Roll McDonalds
Rock n Roll McDonalds
Rock n Roll McDonalds
Rock n Roll McDonalds
McDonalds will make you fat
They serve Big Macs
They serve Quarter Pounders
They will put pounds on you
Johnny Coelacanth said,
January 11, 2008 at 3:31
“Scientists are still endeavoring to come up with a number large enough to quantify the number of Cheetos which Jonah was required to consume…”
Em, the doughbobplex? Or perhaps Loadpants’ number: “It is too large to be written in scientific notation because even the digits in the exponent would exceed the number of atoms in the observable universe, so it needs its own special notation (G) to write down. “
Duros62 said,
January 11, 2008 at 22:38
Teh Ghost of Wesley Willis said,
January 10, 2008 at 23:35
McDonalds is a place to rock
That is awesome.