Dec
25
25
Merry Christmas thread
Jesus is just alright with me:
Have a happy holiday. I’ll have a late present for y’all in a little bit.
-Teh Brad
Adz Networkz
Hall of Flame
- World O'Crap
- Syndication:
Jesus is just alright with me:
Have a happy holiday. I’ll have a late present for y’all in a little bit.
-Teh Brad
Jillian said,
December 25, 2007 at 21:46
Dear Santa,
All I want for Christmas is for every wingnut in the world to have just one moment of perfect self-awareness – for them to see themselves for what they really are. And for the memory of that moment to be indelibly etched upon their memories.
Oh, and give Jonah Goldberg a case of shingles while you’re at it.
Please, Santa – I’ve been a good girl this year.
And if I’ve got any extra Christmas wishes left, maybe you could swing a cute, smart guy my way? (hint, hint)
Cookies and milk in the usual place.
Love, Jillian
Hümor Me said,
December 25, 2007 at 22:17
I’m getting confused.
I thought Jillian was on the “other” team, so I gave up my blog-crush. Now she’s looking for a guy,.. what the hell?
Can we get a standardized set of tags next to our names that indicate our sexual orientation, marital status, body mass index, and views on personal hygiene?
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
December 25, 2007 at 22:23
Can we get a standardized set of tags next to our names that indicate our sexual orientation, marital status, body mass index, and views on personal hygiene?
That’s a lot of total information awareness, in the humble opinion of this tinfoil hat wearer. But others’ mileage may vary.
P.S. Merry Christmas!
Hümor Me said,
December 25, 2007 at 22:25
Yeah, but I figure if the dept. of homeland security has it, we should too.
Jillian said,
December 25, 2007 at 22:29
Wait…I have to pick ONE team? Jonah’s right: you liberals ARE fascists!
Can’t wait for the holidays to be over, so all of us sad sacks of lonely hearts quit moping over our singledom and get back to snarking.
(Me included in the “sad sacks” bit)
Caveat said,
December 25, 2007 at 22:30
Merry Christmas to all of you. Hoist a glass for fairness and justice in 2008 – for everybody, even lowly ‘pit bull’ owners.
Sexual orientation: Atheist monk – figure it out.
Martial status: Unsure, pretty much single for the past couple of decades by choice
BMI: 21.4 only because I eat whatever the hell I feel like having, whenever I feel like having it and I move around a lot
Personal hygiene: Good. Haven’t bought into the overcleaning that is causing so much ill-health lately but don’t stink.
Tag that, babies!
Off for another Corona – no preservatives, one of the ‘cleanest’ beers around.
Keep on keeping on, Bitchez!
Merry Christmas from you friendly local atheist.
Caveat said,
December 25, 2007 at 22:32
Sorry, that should be plural – “from you friendly loca atheistS’
‘Loca’ should read…or not.
justme said,
December 25, 2007 at 22:33
Dear Santa,
What Jillian said about the wingnuts? I second. If the whole self-awareness fhing is too tough, I’d settle for debilitating aneurisms and precipitous drops in their personal wealth. Together.
I suppose shingles will have to do for J-Load.
Oh, and since it is Christmas, could you see to it that all those folks who say they love them some Baby Jesus actually acted like it, and walked the walk? Y’know, drop a little empathy down the chimney, maybe some Hate-B-Gone? That’d be great.
Peace on Earth, goodwill to men and all that,
justme
Hümor Me said,
December 25, 2007 at 22:36
Hmm. how about atheist pope as a sexual orientation?
Jillian, you can be on any team, hell, you can be the ref!
porndog said,
December 25, 2007 at 22:36
Sexual orientation: upside down.
Marital status: sadly, yes.
BMI: I had to sell the beamer.
Personal hygiene: crusty enough.
a different brad said,
December 25, 2007 at 22:36
I keep trying to figure out how to say Jillian’s behavior seems perfectly normal to me without sounding condescending, but ain’t simple.
I’ve been close to females with similar sexual identities, as friend n more, n my only issue is that it’s plain old hard for a guy to compete with another female in bed, at least in some respects. I don’t need a map to find certain spots or nothin, but when you have your own set of equipment to practice with at home you’re going to end up knowing how it works better than those who don’t.
justme said,
December 25, 2007 at 22:39
Jillian, you can pick as many teams as you like, even the Yankees, and we’ll still love ya. The Lakers may be going a bit too far, though.
Hoosier X said,
December 25, 2007 at 22:41
I’m off to work at the local wingnut newspaper! That’s my Merry Fucking Christmas!
(Sometimes I feel like a concentration camp guard. “I was only following orders.”)
Jillian said,
December 25, 2007 at 22:42
Sexual orientation is more complicated than that, ADB. It’s not something a person can consciously control – it’s about whom you are attracted to emotionally, physically, sexually. And those attractions are things that have roots way, way beyond the conscious level.
Hell, if all it was about were which gender could get you off the best, we’d none of us ever have sex with anyone else – because no matter how well you know your partner (of any gender) sexually, no one can ever get you off as well as you get yourself off.
Djur said,
December 25, 2007 at 22:53
God, I turn off the computer for one day and S,N turns into junior high.
Jillian said,
December 25, 2007 at 22:55
Fine, Djur.
You are officially KICKED OUT of the secret club. And NOT INVITED to the sleepover party anymore, either.
Chawunky said,
December 25, 2007 at 22:55
As regards moments of crystalline self-awareness, I (sadly) imagine that such would do little more to the average vingnoot than provide an impetus to reinforce their complex layers of denial.
Anything to escape the thorns ravaging one’s conscience, eh? But then maybe that’s enough of a holiday bonus, their contending with an extra dollop of exquisite angst…
Happy Decemberween, all and everyall.
a different brad said,
December 25, 2007 at 22:56
Didn’t mean to sound reductionist, Jillian. Just sayin I’ve known times where the competition feels a little unbalanced. And I can…. *censored* with my *censored* and make my *censored* bounce a little if properly *censored*, dammit.
Not quite sure I agree with your last bit, but I might just be tired of myself. One brief and unexciting interlude aside, been just me far too long.
Smiling Mortician said,
December 25, 2007 at 23:02
Marital status: sadly, yes.
Aw, porndog. That really is sad.
no one can ever get you off as well as you get yourself off.
Hmm. I think this may be one of those truisms that works in the aggregate but has a few knee-weakening exceptions. Thank the baby jeebus. Or, y’know, whoever.
Fozzetti said,
December 25, 2007 at 23:05
Jillian: I’ve had shingles, and you know what! I WOULD wish them on my worst enemy(s) Goldberg, Bush, Mama Bush and especially Cheney. And Pelosi & Reid tho perhaps in a milder version.
Oh– and the dumb doctor who couldn’t diagnose shingles and cavalerly told me to try a dermatologist! Took 2 days to find one who instantly diagnosed shingles & gave me an anti-viral. I must say, his office had several bibles on the tables and lots of religious literature. So- Christians can be very good. Bless him!
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
December 25, 2007 at 23:05
Junior High?
And here I was, this close to letting Djur read my best poop jokes.
P.S. It’s all been downhill since sixth grade.
Jillian said,
December 25, 2007 at 23:06
Well, that’s just it. Sex isn’t about the getting-off part nearly as much as it is about all the other parts that go along with sex – the physical and emotional attraction. And those parts are complicated and mysterious.
People are complicated. I wish we were more like turtles.
Hümor Me said,
December 25, 2007 at 23:09
You turtleist.
Turtles have a rich inner life!
justme said,
December 25, 2007 at 23:13
a different brad, you scandalous cad, you. You well know I’ve had nothing to do with you, and if I had, “far too long” wouldn’t be nearly long enough, thank you very much…
jeff said,
December 25, 2007 at 23:25
Merry Christmas to all. I hope you’re all having a lovely day. I hope Jesus sends us all cute smart guys soon.
STH said,
December 25, 2007 at 23:26
It’s like Junior High, only better: we can still do the fart and poop jokes, still become giddy over the attention of the right person, but we know how sex works by now and we don’t have a curfew.
Sexual orientation: what Jillian said
Marital status: single
BMI: not sure–plump and cuddly, but not huge
Hygiene: excellent
a different brad said,
December 25, 2007 at 23:28
Corrected:
Alas, that ain’t even true for the gals I seem to find around me. Then again, the hipsterish parts of NYC I end up spending most of my time in aren’t often known for deep thinkers, their own self-opinions aside.
LiberalFascistLover said,
December 26, 2007 at 0:01
Sex isn’t about the getting-off part nearly as much as it is about all the other parts that go along with sex – the physical and emotional attraction.
Eh? I think you’re kinda confusing sex with a [potential] relationship. Meaningful attraction (physical, emotional, intellectual) is the basis of forming a relationship – sex is just what you do with whoever you picked up after the club closes. Oh, wait a sec, does that make me an immoral, godless, liberal Islamofascist? Probably – Yay! Islamofascists have way more fun!
Sexual orientation: whatever. [Actually I'm straight, but I get taken as being gay - by guys and girls - all the time and I'm not put off by it. I did give "the other team" the good college try and it wasn't for me. Oh well, a point against my Islamofascistness]
Marital status: very happily single
BMI: Not grossly obese, but I do have a bit of a gut that I’m in the process of working off. No more beer for me, now its just hard liquor (a lot less calories before you pass out)
Hygiene: Very good.
mikey said,
December 26, 2007 at 0:12
I might be hella old, but this whole team dealio is lost on me. Maybe it’s just ’cause I have never been one who could “play nice” with others.
It’s just me. Not much of an army but most definitely a team of one.
Sexual Orientation: At this point, why bother?
Marital status: When I was a child I burned my hand on a hot stove. Know what? I didn’t put my hand on a hot stove ever again. Those who do not remember the past and all.
BMI: You can tell what you need to know just by lookin.
Personal Hygiene: When you’ve had to shit outdoors, you develop an appreciation for soap and water…
Happy Merry. Time for my nap…
mikey
LiberalFascistLover said,
December 26, 2007 at 0:15
I might be hella old, but this whole team dealio is lost on me. – As far as I know, its a Seinfeld thing… :)
Jillian said,
December 26, 2007 at 0:16
Can’t be a Seinfeld thing. I know what it is, and I’ve never seen Seinfeld.
LiberalFascistLover said,
December 26, 2007 at 0:21
“Can’t be a Seinfeld thing. I know what it is, and I’ve never seen Seinfeld.”
Maybe, but Seinfeld-isms have infected all aspects of our culture today (part of the Islamofascist conspiracy no doubt).
Or maybe I just suck. I do know that the first time I came across the whole “team” notion regarding sexual orientation was from Seinfeld.
STH said,
December 26, 2007 at 0:34
I used to be able to have fairly casual sex when I was young and dumb(er), but it doesn’t have much appeal for me now . . . nowadays I have to love the person I’m with. The down side of that, of course, is that you tend to have looooooooooonnnggg dry spells.
a different brad said,
December 26, 2007 at 0:37
Open question:
Does a lack of sentimentality for the season on my part reflect getting old, the non-Xmasyness of southern Florida (it is almost 80 out), having been single far too long, or my mostly successful attempt to retreat from retail society?
Even Pee-Wee’s Xmas special barely gets my inner child going.
I don’t mean tell me who I am, guess I’m just lookin to compare notes.
noen said,
December 26, 2007 at 0:39
I fucking hate Christmas.
Smut Clyde said,
December 26, 2007 at 0:42
i bought you a case of Shingles, but i drinked it.
a different brad said,
December 26, 2007 at 0:43
Fuck, I forgot to bring Bad Santa with me.
Best Xmas movie ever, by a very wide margin.
LiberalFascistLover said,
December 26, 2007 at 0:50
“Does a lack of sentimentality for the season on my part reflect getting old, the non-Xmasyness of southern Florida (it is almost 80 out), having been single far too long, or my mostly successful attempt to retreat from retail society?”
My guess would the the last one as if you remove the retail element – and aren’t particularly religious – there isn’t much to the holiday. Of course I was raised Jewish so what the hell do I know?
BTW: We’re having a pretty solid snow storm here (Denver) and my balcony has drifts a foot deep on it. I guess those “Progressive Wingnuts” (well, if liberals are fascist, doesn’t that mean conservatives are progressives? Oh, never mind; it is just plain stupid to try to apply Goldbergian logic to the real world.) seeking a “White Christmas” will be quite satisfied here.
Anne Laurie said,
December 26, 2007 at 0:58
Turtles have a rich inner life!
Given this (inside?) information, my Xmas wish is that all Wingnuts, Reichtards, Talibangelicals, and Glibertarians are transformed into turtles, thereby enjoying the benefits of a rich inner life — or in the Pantload’s case, any inner life not involving intestines — for the first time EVAR.
Happy Merry Whichever to all Sadlynauts, and many more to follow. The dogs & cats have had their “for not abusing the decorated tree in the house” special dessert (baby food pureed chicken), and the Spousal Unit is waiting to take me out to dinner.
Sometimes, it’s good to be old & settled & bourgeouis, or faking it.
gbeneezar said,
December 26, 2007 at 1:09
noen, today’s snow must be rubbing you the wrong way too? I think we’ve had enough for a while.
Fozzetti said,
December 26, 2007 at 1:10
Check out World O’Crap’s Christmas story, that’ll cheer you up. My 10 year old daughter had “THE BEST CHRISTMAS EVER!” and most of her gifts were inexpensive Harry Potter accessories from ebay. Ya never know. I got a treadmill (my request!) and a Kathleen Battle CD. Yay Me. Spent all day yesterday making cookies, then neglected to cover them up… they were a BIT stale in the morning. So I stuck them in zip locks with a pieceof fresh bread. I hope that’ll freshen them. Works for brown sugar.
Happy Christmas.
justme said,
December 26, 2007 at 1:12
As far as I know, its a Seinfeld thing
Nah, waaay predates Seinfeld. Might be a New Yorkism, though. Seinfeld had a way of popularizing those, much to my dismay. I had to stop saying “Yadda, yadda, yadda” years ago because of that.
My favorite use of it was by a very charming lass I know, who, after getting a rather short new haircut asked me if it was too dykey, quipping “Just because I’m wearing the hat, doesn’t mean I play for the team.” Bless her heart.
Lesley said,
December 26, 2007 at 1:15
Here are two just-in-time Christmas presents for Pastor Swank.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=d-Uv8CKYTdQ
http://youtube.com/watch?v=vNAS2l-te9o
Enjoy!
May the new year bring an end to the Bush administration!
justme said,
December 26, 2007 at 1:15
I got a treadmill (my request!)
Good thing, that last bit, as getting a treadmill without a request is cause for a sound thrashing about the head and shoulders.
Twisted_Colour said,
December 26, 2007 at 1:17
Dood!..
Emperor U.S.A. (the naked truth) said,
December 26, 2007 at 1:19
Oh, shit! Jillian’s on the hunt for a guy? What a great Christmas present! So glad I checked in! Where do I send my pic & application? And lemme tell ya, baby – I’ve got a huuuuge…collection of old history books related to anarchism, socialism and other things leftist.
(If that doesn’t make her melt, I don’t know what will.)
LiberalFascistLover said,
December 26, 2007 at 1:19
“Nah, waaay predates Seinfeld. Might be a New Yorkism, though. Seinfeld had a way of popularizing those, much to my dismay.”
I’ll take your word for it, though I have to admit I thought it was a Seinfeldism, like “master of your domain” and so forth. Now you can see why I had to get rid of my TV a few years ago, that shit just sticks in your head like gumdrops in your teeth.
Ick!
gbeneezar said,
December 26, 2007 at 1:21
but when you have your own set of equipment to practice with at home you’re going to end up knowing how it works better than those who don’t.
Diff Brad, are you saying that there are people who don’t have their own set of equipment at home? Mine’s never even come off by accident.
no one can ever get you off as well as you get yourself off.
I might as well go join a convent right now.
Santa said,
December 26, 2007 at 1:25
*sends Jillian another cute, smart…. gay guy*
Wha? Sorry, I ran out of cute smart heteros…
Anastasius said,
December 26, 2007 at 1:34
Just back from the big family Christmas meeting, with the cake and food, playing poker, drinking beer, battles with the Jesus loving faction and my police officer uncle telling us all about the newest crimes and scams and how they can’t even do some simple telephone surveillances cause they have no money left at the end of the quarter.
All those good, heartwarming, christmasy things. Hope you all had something equally enjoyable.
PhysioProf said,
December 26, 2007 at 1:34
“the average vingnoot”
They have wingnuts in Holland!? Fuckin’ A!
Adara said,
December 26, 2007 at 1:38
I laughed at STH’s “plump and cuddly” description. Cute!
Martha & the Vandellas = ace. Thanks ifthethunderdaondsfjl!
gbeneezar said,
December 26, 2007 at 1:38
Sexual orientation: Guy looking for guy, but I seem to be a guy magnet for guys who turn out to be partnered or married.
Marital status: single and looking but not for partnered or married guys.
BMI: bear
Hygiene: what day is it?
PS: bah humbug.
Adara said,
December 26, 2007 at 1:38
Heh…if Holland would outlaw one thing, what should it be?
MzNicky said,
December 26, 2007 at 1:45
My favorite thing to do on Christmas Day is go to buffalobeast.com and read up on the 50 most loathesome Americans for the past year.
http://www.buffalobeast.com/122/50mostloathsome2007.html
Malignant Bouffant said,
December 26, 2007 at 2:33
Bah! Humbug! (Victorian English for “Bullshit!”) Too bad FEAR’s “Fuck Christmas” isn’t available on YouTube™.
That shitheel Santa didn’t bring me the new computer (or at least new hard drive) I need to return to the world of broadband. I am rendered virtually deaf & mute.
Just to play along:
Sexual Orientation: Anhedonic, but yes, if you insist. (Sorry dudes, insistent ladies only.)
Marital Status: Ancient, & never been even close.
BMI: Or ASCAP. Whatever. (Really: 15 kgs. over what medical Nazis say I shuold be.)
Hygeine: Shower once a week, even if I don’t need to.
Political/Social Orientation: Anti-Fascist, Anti-Bourgeois.
I’m going to take a shower now to improve my hygeine, & then go out & eat pizza w/ my last two friends, both of whom are as depressed as I am. (Hoosier X: One of them is Mr. Peabody (Larry) who used to co-habit w/ us on Franklin Ave., lo those many yrs. ago.) Ho. Ho. Ho.
Qetesh the Qaveat Qat said,
December 26, 2007 at 2:39
Can we get a standardized set of tags next to our names that indicate our sexual orientation, marital status, body mass index, and views on personal hygiene?
Oh, well, here goes:
Sexual orientation: well, I’ve only ever bonked blokes, although I’m willing to try women (never turn down a root, is the common Aussie wisdom). I’ve been mainly attracted to blokes, although there are one or two women who make me all wibbly.
Marital status: I prefer Caveat’s interpretation of ‘martial status’. Whatever, I’m single (sob), and havn’t even got a leg over this century. Well, barring one ultimately unsatisfying and humorous encounter with an old friend that resulted in me having a CAT scan. Martial status, well, I’m ready to practice my spinning back kick, although given that I haven’t done it for several years, I’m more liable to spend the next 3 months in traction.
BMI: chocolate and cat fur.
Personal hygiene: I bathe. Regularly. Also trim my claws and brush my teeth. Have had a couple of younger men who weren’t so keen on the whole dental hygiene thing, at least to begin with, and that’s kind of icky. So yes, I’m wholly in favour of bathing and grooming. I am, after all, a cat. We have very high standards about bathing. Except that I don’t lick my own arse. No thank you, I’ll leave that for other, more furry, cats.
gbeneezar said,
December 26, 2007 at 2:40
Mal B, If I weren’t a guy, we’d be made for each other. I’m sitting at home with a ready-to-die computer eating pizza and saying humbug.
Is the Franklin Avenue you’re talking about in Minneapolis?
gbeneezar said,
December 26, 2007 at 2:47
Qetesh, sorry that I missed your handmaiden’s radio show this afternoon. (I couldn’t get it to stream and then my computer blew up for a couple of hours). Hope she had fun. The S,N! reviews were great! You should be proud (of her. I know you’re already proud to be a cat)
pidomon said,
December 26, 2007 at 2:56
just delurking to say merry xmas all
if my snark was stronger maybe somewhere I could post and keep up around here :)
Until then i’ll just keep reading
Malignant Bouffant said,
December 26, 2007 at 3:08
No, E. Scrooge Bear, it’s the Franklin Ave. in the very belly of the beast, Hollywood, CA. And I’m not very furry (Nor am I a “furry”!!, either) though as aging progresses there is more fur, & in places it wasn’t before. TMI already.
jnfr said,
December 26, 2007 at 3:13
Thanks to all the Sadly No!ians for a year full of soul-saving mirth.
Malignant Bouffant said,
December 26, 2007 at 3:15
Hey, look. X-Mess is over already! Three hrs. into Boxing Day!
gbeneezar said,
December 26, 2007 at 3:20
jnfr – When it comes to saving souls, some are called to ring bells and others are called to wring irony.
Sonny L. said,
December 26, 2007 at 3:22
Three hrs. into Boxing Day!
Who are you planning to K.O. this year?
Chawunky said,
December 26, 2007 at 3:26
Yes, sorry…for some reason the word was screaming to be written out in some outrrrraaaaageous accent (you silly kin-geh).
But I expect Holland has no problem with wingnuts as long as they don’t get too obstreperously huffy about other peoples’ sexuality whilst surreptitiously skulking about De Wallen.
a different brad said,
December 26, 2007 at 3:31
There’s republicans in my house.
One was just complaining about how there’s taxes on everything and she just doesn’t want to vote for someone who’ll raise them.
Bear in mind, this is a very well off white woman who lives in Florida, where there’s no state income tax.
Oy.
ignobility said,
December 26, 2007 at 3:36
MzNicky, thanks for the link to buffalobeast. Those were hilarious. I’m celebrating (?) the non-holiday by working; just sitting here reading and waiting for the next c-section to happen, or not.
ADB, I think being around kids makes Christmas more Christmasy. I’ve been out of the spirit for years now ‘cuz there are no younguns to share it with. My son is all grows up and just doesn’t get as excited as he used to. Plus, he and the wife usually go to GA to be w/her folks. Ergo, I work for the OT and crisis pay and gift certificate of my choice! Everyone brought goodies today, so my normally okay BMI is artificially inflated by cookies and pie and rice-krispy treats.
Sexual orientation: doesn’t matter. Politics: Hemorrhagic heart liberal
Personal hygiene: yes
Merry Christmas to all!
Juliet Smith's Diary said,
December 26, 2007 at 4:09
Me, GDog, PanzerColumn, ViagraBoy and LivRHed was woofing down our Christmas feast of Moore eyeballs and roast Steisand breast and plotting the slow maiming and torture of Hitlery when we happened across this atrocity. The homo SadlyNaughts worrin’ about their sexual orentation and worshipping Judge Reinhold. Dingl3berry, FatHed, TP, BM, BaboonAss, Thud, and Septictanc was all ready to go over there and troll but then we got distracted by the box of hollowpoints that PussBall got in his sock and Melvin’s got a choice Walker Texas Ranger Christmas Show recorderd on the VCR.
Candy said,
December 26, 2007 at 4:11
I was in a good mood last night – might have just been the codeine cough syrup talking – but I’m really out of sorts today. Sick of this cough, sick of my empathy challenged oh so comfortable relatives, sick of the libertarian assholes who spew nonsense on other sites I frequent, sick of Bush and sick of American society in general. I don’t get this way often, but when I do, I get really crotchety. Oh, well, I’ll get over it. Harumph.
Sexual orientation: Adult humans.
Politics: Lefter (I don’t think that’s a word but I don’t care) and lefter every day.
Personal hygiene: Just a tad short of compulsive in this regard, both with personal and household hygiene, but I’m trying to relax a bit. The bad condition of my knees has made me slow down somewhat with the floor scrubbing and whatnot.
BMI: Regular.
Marital status: Single but in LTR.
Age: 46 but look a lot younger, according to my friends and partner, who would of course never lie to me.
Thud said,
December 26, 2007 at 4:31
You’un some sick fucks, I tell you what.
This here’s Christams, the birthday of our Lord Jesus, an you all is worrin about who gonna be the top or the bottom in your sick homo pileon.
You people needs to get offn the computer an get down on yer nees and pray for some forgiveness cus otherwize you goin to hell.
BM said,
December 26, 2007 at 4:51
I aint a homo, but i got to say, that Clarence Gilyard do have a perty smile.
Not thet i’d lett my doughter merry a negro or anythin, but he do look good in them tight jeans, oh look aty thet , he jest punched thet feller in the face. Thet feller did deserve it
FatHed said,
December 26, 2007 at 5:01
Shit BM you a homo, just like these dumasses here. Har har.
Yer sexul orientation is :sheep, boy sheep. har har.
Yer marital status is: merried, to a sheep. A boy sheep! har har.
Yer personal higen is * sheep! You smell boy.
What the fuck is BMI, is that some kinder homo thing, cuz you got it.
BM said,
December 26, 2007 at 5:02
Say Pussball, kin I borry one of them hollerpoints?
a different brad said,
December 26, 2007 at 5:24
Kevin, shut up.
Juliet Smith's Diary said,
December 26, 2007 at 6:02
“Kevin, shut up” saided a diferent brad whilst playing pocket pool with where his balls would be if he had them.
Pappy was standing in front of him. “Did you have a good time visiting with your overweight pasty ‘rents in godforsaken commie Florida”, asked Pappy.
a different brad looked up at the man, “I got a tan.” Pappy laughed so hard a differnet brad was sure he felt a tetonic plate quiver.
And then gCat, MonkeyBoi, CornHo, Goatse and TMkvie skinned him alive, peed on his grave and made tea cozeys from his tan supple flesh and sold them for next to nothing to iowa housewives on ebay.
Megan Mcardle said,
December 26, 2007 at 6:19
“I have a big slab of my family in one hand, and a huge mug of coffee in the other, and I am about to sit down and read Andrew Sullivan.
“Hope everyone out there is having as lovely a time. Thanks for reading all year.”
Lesley said,
December 26, 2007 at 6:23
Whoever authored ‘Juliet Smith’s Diary’ is one maggoty-brained fuck.
And they call us Nazis.
gbear said,
December 26, 2007 at 6:27
Well, the last 36 hours was a wonderful, exceptional, and welcome respite from assholes while it lasted. Fuck you twisted morons, you break your new toys already?
gbear said,
December 26, 2007 at 6:30
Santa Clause let you down again and your crying and kicking the floor not getting you anywhere? Go bite a fart, boys.
gbear said,
December 26, 2007 at 6:39
Hmmm. appears to be just one asshole. All the names link to the same place. Hopefully whoever it is is beating off in peace now. Merry Xmas.
Lesley said,
December 26, 2007 at 6:44
Gbear, they’re in good company.
So many favourites on that list but these hit the mark:
and this one, because even though I don’t agree with all the swipes, there’s enough that’s true to make it deserving
gbear said,
December 26, 2007 at 6:55
Lesley, It sounds like a brutal posting. I need to go visit that site, but I can’t face it this evening. My sisters and I aren’t able to get together until the first weekend in January so today has just really sucked humbug.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
December 26, 2007 at 7:04
14. Glenn Beck
Crimes: If Fox News isn’t quite asinine enough for you, just click on over to Headline News, where the CNN brand is eagerly defiling its vestigial credibility by giving an hour a day to the dumbest dumbfuck in dumbfuckistan, Glenn Beck.
Yes, I do recommend. Hanx, MzNicky!
STH said,
December 26, 2007 at 7:06
Yeah, it is brutal, gbear, and that’s why I don’t read it any more. I need some snark if I’m to handle the ugliness, but the snark in that list is ugly, too. Just a little too dark for me.
gbear said,
December 26, 2007 at 7:13
Does Best Buy still advertise on Glenn Beck’s show? I’ve been avoiding BB and letting them know the reason, but I was on their website checking out computers today (in between crashes on my current piece o crap).
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
December 26, 2007 at 7:33
I couldn’t tell you, gbear. I don’t watch tv much, and I don’t even get CNN.
Felix Moronia said,
December 26, 2007 at 7:36
gbear how can you go to BB since the put the Geek Squad in VW Beetles?
Felix Moronia said,
December 26, 2007 at 7:37
they, since they put
gbear said,
December 26, 2007 at 7:41
Same here. No cable and I’m still using indoor rabbit ears for my TV reception. I googled it but all the boycott sites that came up were almost a year old. Went to the BB site and typed Glenn Beck into the search window and all that came up was, strangely, the movie 2001 A Space Odyssey. Was Beck the Star Child in that movie?
flawedplan said,
December 26, 2007 at 7:45
Howdy Sadlies,
I read you every day and am delurking to offer well wishes and heartfelt hanx! for this loving community’s paradoxical oppositional stance, the spiritual and moral attunement, for unearthing treasured punk rock videos, and for keeping alive what little sense of humor I have left.
gbear said,
December 26, 2007 at 7:46
I worked at a place that used Geek Squad to do some computer routing for us when the Geeks were still a small independent. The tech service we got wasn’t worth much so I wasn’t a fan of them anyway. I can’t even remember the cars they were driving back then, but they were usually geeky used cars. Best Buy probably isn’t very hip about anything outside of the box.
Felix Moronia said,
December 26, 2007 at 7:50
I dion’t know about the Geeks service but they had great cars! BB has enough dough that they could have bought every oddball car on the planet when they went national.
gbear said,
December 26, 2007 at 7:51
flawedplan, visit and post often. This site loves big words!
gbear said,
December 26, 2007 at 7:54
Felix, I think BB’s been giving a lot of that money to republican candidates and causes. Another reason I try to not go there.
Felix Moronia said,
December 26, 2007 at 7:56
The best reason.
Felix Moronia said,
December 26, 2007 at 7:58
Idon’t remember the last time I was in a BB. It’s been years.
Lesley said,
December 26, 2007 at 8:05
I can recommend some good tv, if CBC’s Intelligence is available in the US.
The director recently announced that the CBC plans to can it for poor ratings (which is bullshit because they’ve done very little to promote the show). The CBC is always at the beck and call of high level government bureaucrats and I expect they’ve been told to axe it because the subject matter hits a little too close to home. (Too much NAFTA and deep integration bashing at a time when the gov’t is trying to market the idea of border disintegration, a single currency, and…essentially the end of Canada as a sovereign country.)
Hell, even a former US spy recommends it
http://www.thestar.com/entertainment/Television/article/283846
gbear said,
December 26, 2007 at 8:12
I was in BB on friday to buy a flash drive to rescue the pictures and letters from my failing computer. I buy small stuff there but that’s it. I wound up buying The Hives new CD there because it had a special BB bonus track on it (that plus I am hopelessly addicted to the riff in Tick Tick Boom). Later in the weekend I found out that my very cool independent record store (The Electric Fetus) had the Hives CD with a special Independent Record Store bonus track that was different from the BB bonus track. I was pissed. I bet The Fetus’s bonus track is a LOT cooler.
juliet Smith's Diary said,
December 26, 2007 at 8:14
Hmmm. appears to be just one asshole. All the names link to the same place.
damn gbear, you are easily trolled. You’re new to the internets, eh?
Here, listen up you chuckleheaded literalminded humorless dumbass-
http://myspacetv.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=6434215
And when your done listening- me, Gubr, TainT, droopy, SHotGun and CleftPallete is gonna come over there and stuff Hitlery’s vagina up your butt and make you eat yer butt and then skin your butt to make toe warmers and sell em to inbred nebraska housewives on ebay.
juliet Smith's Diary said,
December 26, 2007 at 8:26
Is this where the spam filter’s broken and we all pile on and say stuff like ” Want a giant penis like mine?
http://www.dltk-kids.com/type/how_to_paper_mache.htm
Here- enjoy-
http://myspacetv.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=6434215
Felix Moronia said,
December 26, 2007 at 8:31
Change of subject: I was interested in your talking about the old days at First Ave/Entry the other night. I lived in the twin towns from 80-97 and used to get passes from MacCallester(sp) campus radio in the early 80′s. I think I was the only one listening late-night and able to answer the trivia ?’s asked. Heard some good/strange music at the Ave.
Felix Moronia said,
December 26, 2007 at 8:35
It’s approaching tomorrow here in SW CO and time to check out. Adios.
(Lex) Skink Tyree (Azagthoth) said,
December 26, 2007 at 15:16
gbear–didn’t realize that about BB. I logged onto a local network station’s website as usual to check the weather yesterday though, and there was a fucking ad for John Hagee Ministries at the top! Then, when I went to the comment page to complain and state that I wouldn’t be coming back there, there was ANOTHER John Hagee Ministries ad below the field you write your complaint in! Unfuckingbelievable! And him photoshopped so that he looks as large as the whole planet (where he is supposedly going to deliver the entire Gospel to–note to Hagee: you may be getting fatter and fatter, but you ain’t no Santa).
That breaks my routine though. I already boycott so many people locally it’s absurd though. Anyone tied to land development projects, my dollar is my vote as they say.
Rightwingsnarkle said,
December 26, 2007 at 15:59
I don’t celebrate Christmas, but I do celebrate the day after Christmas, so here’s to all o’ yez.
As for my day after Christmas wishes, I don’t wish nothin’ for no wingnuts. What I wish is for the world to be free of teh wingnuts.
I also want an Easy Bake Oven.
a different brad said,
December 26, 2007 at 21:02
Can I comment here? Why S,N! suddenly hates me?
Duros62 said,
December 26, 2007 at 22:54
Not quite sure I agree with your last bit, but I might just be tired of myself. One brief and unexciting interlude aside, been just me far too long.
Sometimes, it’s just nice when someone else does it.
Bear in mind, this is a very well off white woman who lives in Florida, where there’s no state income tax.
Oy.
From my experience, most folks from Florida are off-white.
Duros62 said,
December 26, 2007 at 23:17
and this one, because even though I don’t agree with all the swipes, there’s enough that’s true to make it deserving
9. You
Nope. Not me at all. Juliet Smith, perhaps.
juliet Smith's Diary said,
December 27, 2007 at 10:14
(Lex) Skink Tyree (Azagthoth)
The hot video on your blog site made me wet. Unfortunately I couldn’t comment on yer stupir¥d blogger page, but me gMoose, turdBucket, FartPants and SniffFarts was there watching that video of hunbba hubba Ms Atlas and if you think its funny making funny of her me and StinkyShorts, BrownStreak, ButtHed, RetArdOboi, Guh and Stabby is gonna come right over there and slowly skin your soft supple liberal felsh offn you flabby bodyand let our wommens, Coulter, PinGPongPoonPoot, AphostrpheGirl, and Condoleeza chew your flesh into soft little balls that we can sell on ebay as cheat imported Chinese smurf toys.
juliet Smith's Diary said,
December 27, 2007 at 10:15
(Lex) Skink Tyree (Azagthoth)
The hot video on your blog site made me wet. Unfortunately I couldn’t comment on yer stupir¥d blogger page, but me gMoose, turdBucket, FartPants and SniffFarts was there watching that video of hunbba hubba Ms Atlas and if you think its funny making funny of her me and StinkyShorts, BrownStreak, ButtHed, RetArdOboi, Guh and Stabby is gonna come right over there and slowly skin your soft supple liberal felsh offn you flabby bodyand let our wommens, Coulter, PinGPongPoonPoot, AphostrpheGirl, and Condoleeza chew your bits into soft little balls that we can sell on ebay as cheap imported Chinese smurf toys.
juliet Smith's Diary said,
December 27, 2007 at 10:16
Goddamn, now it it posts?
gbear at work said,
December 27, 2007 at 18:48
damn gbear,…You’re new to the internets, eh?
Dear Juliet Smith’s Diarrhea;
Yep. I am just a fresh faced innocent here (well, furry faced at any rate).
Duros62 said,
December 27, 2007 at 19:48
juliet Smith’s Diary said,
December 27, 2007 at 10:15
What the fuck is your problem?
Mary T. said,
December 27, 2007 at 20:40
Best show ever. Best clip ever. Best episode ever.