May I suggest:

Liberal Fascism.

“In the future days, which we seek to make secure, we look forward to a world founded upon four essential human freedoms.

“The first is freedom of speech and expression — everywhere in the world.

“The second is freedom of every person to worship God in his own way — everywhere in the world.

“The third is freedom from want — which, translated into world terms, means economic understandings which will secure to every nation a healthy peacetime life for its inhabitants — everywhere in the world.

“The fourth is freedom from fear — which, translated into world terms, means a world-wide reduction of armaments to such a point and in such a thorough fashion that no nation will be in a position to commit an act of physical aggression against any neighbor– anywhere in the world.

“That is no vision of a distant millennium. It is a definite basis for a kind of world attainable in our own time and generation. That kind of world is the very antithesis of the so-called new order of tyranny which the dictators seek to create with the crash of a bomb.

“To that new order we oppose the greater conception — the moral order. A good society is able to face schemes of world domination and foreign revolutions alike without fear.

“Since the beginning of our American history, we have been engaged in change — in a perpetual peaceful revolution — a revolution which goes on steadily, quietly adjusting itself to changing conditions — without the concentration camp or the quick-lime in the ditch. The world order which we seek is the cooperation of free countries, working together in a friendly, civilized society.

“This nation has placed its destiny in the hands and heads and hearts of its millions of free men and women; and its faith in freedom under the guidance of God. Freedom means the supremacy of human rights everywhere. Our support goes to those who struggle to gain those rights or keep them. Our strength is our unity of purpose.

“To that high concept there can be no end save victory.”

From Congressional Record, 1941, Vol. 87, Pt. I.

I’ve taken the liberty of re-prioritizing your “bottom” lines in order to head off a dangerous quantum singularity – feel free to rearrange them, but please try to remember: no more than one bottom line per comment thread!

“The [fourth from the bottom] line is, the fascist left would like for America and Western Civilization to be destroyed so they can replace it with their own immoral society complete with secular humanism, unfettered abortion, acceptance of homosexuality, pedophilia and other immoral sexual practices, abolition of religion, abolition of private propery and high taxes and huge nanny state government.”

“The [bottom] line is, Jonah Goldberg is a Patriot and a good man, the reason you liberals make fun of him is because you are jealous of his success. He is too good for you people.”

Where ever there is Traditional Conservative American Values such as in the Heartland there are private acts of charity and goodwill towards one another.

So now New York City is the Heartland? I always thought it was them flyover states where they practice cannibalism…hence the “heart” in heartland…

You do raise a few interesting philosophical questions, SN, such as, for instance, whether claiming that ACSH says trans fat cure cancer constitutes libel on your part, given that you’re not that funny, undermining your ability to claim “parody” or “comedy” as a defense for such a false statement.

Um. You’re an editor, right?

And you let this “stet”? No wonder your books are unreadable except by chimpanzees!

Dude, if you don’t know this blog is funny, it’s because we are laughing at you. Often.

And I showed his list to my wife, who quickly doubled over in laughter. “Yeah, right,” were the only words she could get out between paroxysms of giggles.

Somebody send Seavey a gift subscription to Hustler and a Costco six-pack of Kleenex.

Whew. That’s a relief at least.

Now that’s something to brag about!

Try not to let it angry up the blood too much.

I’m not angry, I’m amused.

It’s a pity you didn’t post earlier, Todd. This thread has already gone stale, and I’m afraid not many of the Sadlies will even notice your wonderful outburst.

I expect you will respond with more “comedy,” such as calling me a jerk or something…

Ahhh, this is just too easy.

If your points are beyond argument then don’t join an argument. Instead you tell SN here that he’s stupid for crawling in the mud and then jump in with him, getting your wisdom robes all soiled with the dirt of the argument your points are ostensibly beyond. If he got facts wrong, provide the facts. If he assumed points, point them out as give detailed corrections. Don’t snivel in the corner and show up on his porch with snot dribbling down your nose and tell him you aren’t a crybaby.

And if you can’t take the comedy, get off the internet. I mean a list of rules, codified and numbered, for dating you? Why do you care so much? You aren’t going to have a kid with her, so what does it matter? Why don’t you settle for a prostitute?

I mean think about it. A prostitute will agree will be as beautiful as you can afford, and she’ll have no interest in children (bad for business and all.) She’ll agree with everything you’ll say about politics and rationality, but still haggle with you over price, just like rule #7 says. She won’t have any baggage from other boyfriends because they are all just her clients (like you will be, but you can always HOPE). I think your companionship problem has been solved, mister.

(And don’t make any claims of having a girlfriend already either. We know how the internet can be used for this “comedy” thing, and everybody has a sense of humor. Even you, Todd)

It’s obvious SN’s post got your blood up with the ad hominem attacks and the typos, which indicate an angry hand and furious and unsteady typing. But this is an assumption, so I’ll withdraw it for the time being.

Jeez though. A Guideline for dating you? Did you expect the girls to come pre-equipped with it before each date? Did you fax it over after you got her phone number? What a loser.

You also got my salary and several other things wrong — but what do you care? You have hate, _righteous hate_, on your side, so you _must_ be correct. Or an idiot. Could go either way.

I don’t whether progressives located in Germany have been influenced by fascist traditions, but clearly they’re keeping the proud tradition of German comedy alive and well. And has it occurred to you that you, not I, assumed that everyone sympathetic to Goldberg’s arguments must also endorse everything Malkin says? Indeed, has it occurred to you that you might make many, many false assumptions (and few actual, you know _jokes_ recognizable as such)?

I expect you will respond with more “comedy,” such as calling me a jerk or something, but I’m done with this particular dialogue, so do what you feel politics and comedy demand of you. Try not to let it angry up the blood too much. And read some history about Democratic presidents in wartime if you get bored.

Wait, isn’t Oklahoma where all the girls are engaging in lesbian sex acts in the high school bathrooms? If so, this “Heartland” is sounding pretty awesome to me.

There’s also a Ruppert posting from an agricultural college in Arizona, and I have no qualms about mentioning this because Atrios shared the IP address after it made a particularly noxious comment.

Well it just goes to show. Really this personal ad demonstrates it perfectly. Glibertarians cannot conceive of a world where socialism is not evil, because they cannot conceive of a world where humans love each other–despite their flaws.

I’ve always felt that these folks are, sadly, incapable of loving anyone else.