21
Odd Awakening; The Silence Grows
A conservative friend, Stephen at Politburo Diktat, sends a targum:
Wait until the Balloon Juicers and the SadlyNobodies get ahold of this one:
Oh Stephen, you hate us because we love you so well.
Above: Killing Joke — ‘The Wait’ (3:41)
Confederate Yankee has gone after The Politico.
This will end in oatmeal bowls bouncing athwart the kitchen floor, and tears.
Pluswards: I really don’t mean to seem cavalier or smug. If I can have an honest-moment now, I look at thousands of words of right-wing spew daily, beginning in the morning when I first check my feeds, and ending when the last press-releases thwonk onto the pavement in the evening. There are hundreds of items every day. And it does all, literally, drive you batshit, if you try to follow the main currents honestly and plain-mindedly.
As a small token of how bad and crazy it gets, I also follow this daily. It’s rarely new by the time I get to it. That’s how bad a person I, personally, am, if anyone is tallying such things in advance of the wedding that I’m cunningly announcing at this not-unforetokened moment (June 7th). . .and I’ve lost the thread here.
Um, I’m a bad person, but not in several ways. Yes. Because you see, after a point, you encounter the worst of it, and see that ‘the worst’ replicates willfully, every week, as well as most days (and more than half of the empirical hours). And as I’ve been sitting here in this computer-chair writing this, several new columns have been published, for instance, on Townhall.com. And each one is in whooping bad faith, and no sane person in the world has the time to refute them all.
I’m not complaining, and none of us are. I imagine our conservative friend, Stephen, reading this, but don’t imagine him as morally impressed by it.
And in a way, I suppose this site, day by day, chronicles our failures as human beings. (As well as, not-unremarkedly, successes.) There’s simply too much, and we’re not enough. It’s shovel-funded and unremittent. But then, of course, we try every day — and what’s the latest howler? Well, maybe this.
Baha! Excelsior, yo!
dBa said,
December 21, 2007 at 21:49
I need clarification, is it a rule about a silly hack or a silly rule about a hack or is it silly that a hack rules?
Conservatives commenters have a better understanding of this than I do, I don’t deny this. Indeed it is central to my point.
InsaneInTheCheneyBrain said,
December 21, 2007 at 21:50
I have fantasies about seeing a thin, emaciated Cheney rooting in a dumpster for scraps while snow falls.
Nimrod Gently said,
December 21, 2007 at 21:51
SadlyNobodies! Ha ha ha ha ha ha! That’s brilliant!
Notorious P.A.T. said,
December 21, 2007 at 22:02
How dare anyone call Fred Thompson lazy! The nerve!
When he wakes up from his mid-afternoon nap, we should get his response!
Psycheout said,
December 21, 2007 at 22:11
That’s actually a pretty catchy tune. A real toe-tapper. Thanks!
Hoosier X said,
December 21, 2007 at 22:19
With all his traffic, I understand why he looks down on us with such contempt.
We should start using Sadly Nobodies as our collective term. I think it has a ring to it that Sadly Nosians rather lacks.
Grand Moff Texan said,
December 21, 2007 at 22:21
How about “Sadly Noes”?
Beats the hell out of “LOLleftie”.
.
Simba B said,
December 21, 2007 at 22:24
Oh, Psycheout, you do tease.
TRex said,
December 21, 2007 at 22:25
YAY!! KILLING JOKE!!!!
The WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIITTT!!!!
The Wingnut Line said,
December 21, 2007 at 22:27
“I’m Doughbody”
Chorus:
I’m Doughbody, Doughbody
And Nobody’s Gonna Hold Me Down
No,No Nobody Nobody Nobody’s
Gonna Hold Me Down
I’m Doughbody(x4)
Please Move Move
Move Right Out Of My Life
Move It, Move It
Love, Love Me Baby
Love, Love Me Child
Cause Baby Baby
You’re Driving Me Wild
Heavy, Heavy
You Got So Heavy Baby
(Yeah)
Heavy Heavy
Chorus:
I’m Doughbody, Doughbody
And Nobody’s Gonna Hold Me Down
No,No Nobody Nobody Nobody’s
Gonna Hold Me Down
nutellaontoast said,
December 21, 2007 at 22:30
Wait, aren’t we upset that the guy at the Politico blatantly misrepresented Fred Thomspon by cutting off his quote mid-sentence? I’m confused. The left has hacks too….
Gundamhead said,
December 21, 2007 at 22:32
I thought we called ourselves “Sadlynauts.”
Righteous Bubba said,
December 21, 2007 at 22:32
The left has hacks too….
Yeah, like Goebbels.
tony said,
December 21, 2007 at 22:33
SadlyNobodies! Ha ha ha ha ha ha! That’s brilliant!
Agreed. I’m also tickled that Gavin used the word “athwart” today. And correctly, to boot!
The Wingnut Line said,
December 21, 2007 at 22:35
Please edit nobody’s to read nobodies in the above lyrics. crap.
nutellaontoast said,
December 21, 2007 at 22:43
No, I’m serious, don’t we agree that this is hackery? I mean, I like this site cause I’m a lefty and it does some good attacking of BS on the right, but I don’t see why the lefties should get a free pass. Sure, it’s nitpicking, but so are plenty of S,N articles.
dBa said,
December 21, 2007 at 22:48
I don’t have it in me to become concerned with the right hackerying themselves. I kind of like going all fascist on them and piling on.
Fozzetti said,
December 21, 2007 at 22:48
I like to think of it as “Sadly Noses” I made a REALLY good photoshop of Morrisissy, but by the time I finished, 2 new columns had appeared. ;-{
Righteous Bubba said,
December 21, 2007 at 22:48
I don’t see why the lefties should get a free pass.
The Politico is not a “leftist” outlet.
Gavin M. said,
December 21, 2007 at 22:57
Updated the text, btw. I don’t want anyone to think I’m escaping the fact of being a moron.
Nimrod Gently said,
December 21, 2007 at 23:01
I still like SadlyNosians.
nutellaontoast said,
December 21, 2007 at 23:02
Oh, my bad, I assumed they were lefties cause they were attacking Thompson. I should bother to inform myself sometimes. :(
bpower said,
December 21, 2007 at 23:03
“If I can have an honest-moment now, I look at thousands of words of right-wing spew daily, beginning in the morning when I first check my feeds, and ending when the last press-releases thwonk onto the pavement in the evening.”
Dude, we totally fucking appreciate it. Really.
Bistroist said,
December 21, 2007 at 23:08
But, of course, we try every day — and what’s the latest howler? Well, maybe this.
Dayum. I would have thought J-Dough spent all his weapons grade stupid on teh b00k (in the parlance of our times), but clearly he’s kept some hidden stockpiles – the P.J. o’Rourke quote was just icing on the cake:
Um… I think I see a slight problem with your logic here.
stryx said,
December 21, 2007 at 23:10
Is there any sort of perl script or restraining order or something that could prevent Chunky from quoting H.L. Mencken?
Conversely, is there any way to force DoughBob to write a simple declarative sentence? These past few days have taught me how much I hate his passive and backhanded constructions.
Say what you mean, you whiny mumbly fuck.
Candy said,
December 21, 2007 at 23:11
Thanks. My chicken noodle soup is now athwart my keyboard and monitor. And me with a terrible cold.
mikey said,
December 21, 2007 at 23:14
Mumbly fuck is the new buggeryfuck…
mikey
MrWonderful said,
December 21, 2007 at 23:16
Impressive: after seven years of praising and defending the least accountable administration since Caligula, the Doughster takes Hillary to task for not explaining how she’s going to pay for it all.
“And each one is in whopping bad faith”–Gavin has it right. It’s *all* propaganda to them, and the more piously they serve it up, the more soulless and mendacious it is.
Meanwhile, the idea that my old colleague PJ believes in “God” is to laff.
Gavin M. said,
December 21, 2007 at 23:18
[Fixed the text, btw, with edits and all those things.
Righteous Bubba said,
December 21, 2007 at 23:18
Mumbly fuck is the new buggeryfuck…
Now I want apple-crumblyfuck.
owlbear1 said,
December 21, 2007 at 23:19
Sadlynaughts?
piotr said,
December 21, 2007 at 23:20
xxxx I look at thousands of words of right-wing spew daily, beginning in the morning when I first check my feeds, and ending when the last press-releases thwonk onto the pavement in the evening. There are hundreds of items every day. And it does all, literally, drive you batshit, if you try to follow the main currents honestly and plain-mindedly. xxxx
Is there an intellectual way of handling all these hazardous materials under a well ventilated hood, touching it through thick gloves?
On the other hand, one can really refute these idiots by numbers. E.g. our good friend Jonah is derelict of duty — why he did not call Hillary a fascist, as he was at it — (Jonah-specific chide number 1, Coulter should be chided for skipping an occasion to either call liberal a traitor, or to urge to bash her/his skull), and dumb argument number 14 — Dems bust budget without providing any totals and comparing — and number 12 — as if GOP ever troubled itself with choices (oil company tax breaks, high income tax breaks? abolish estate tax? a new war? continue a useless defense system? send truckloads of cash to be snatched by sand jinns?)
FlipYrWhig said,
December 21, 2007 at 23:30
Wait — didn’t Gavin just say he was getting married? Is that like a meta-meta-(killing) joke about burying the “lede”?
Bistroist said,
December 21, 2007 at 23:30
if anyone is tallying such things in advance of the wedding that I’m cunningly announcing at this not-unforetokened moment (June 7th)
Holy Quadruped, did you just sneak that in in the edit? ’cause I sure missed it the first time. Congrat’s Gav!
Bistroist said,
December 21, 2007 at 23:30
Ah, FYW ftw.
Marco said,
December 21, 2007 at 23:31
The Sadly Nays? S.Naws? Sadly Nooooos?
Smut Clyde said,
December 21, 2007 at 23:32
SadlyNostrils.
Davis said,
December 21, 2007 at 23:33
Conservatives who support the war have no standing to complain about the cost of government programs. None.
J— said,
December 21, 2007 at 23:35
…that I’m cunningly announcing…
Congratulations!
gbear said,
December 21, 2007 at 23:35
Congrat’s Gav!
Oh this is so exciting! Do you know yet if it’s a boy or a girl?
Smut Clyde said,
December 21, 2007 at 23:40
how much I hate his passive and backhanded constructions.
The sheer cowardice of J.Doughboy’s writing never fails to impress me [passive sentence construction for extra points]. Real scholars come out and make assertions, they back up their statements with facts. They don’t sent out phrases like “No-one denies…” and “Indubitably…” to do the dirty work for them.
t4toby said,
December 21, 2007 at 23:40
I am so confused. Are you getting married? Are we all invited? At least to the reception? Whos the lucky…wait, where is this occurring?
I’m all for ‘Snoes!!11!‘
Then we could call our yearly convention a Snoes!!11!storm…
I’m sorry. Really, I am.
Chairman Meow said,
December 21, 2007 at 23:42
This will end in oatmeal bowls bouncing athwart the kitchen floor, and tears.
I love you guys. :D
Lesley said,
December 21, 2007 at 23:44
Until I read SN and TBogg I didn’t know such people (as these wingnuts you write about) even existed. I’m not sorry I know about them even if occasionally they make me feel capable of first degree homicide. I’d rather know than not know what’s lurking in the basements on the block is what I’m sayin’.
What I immensely appreciate is the humour you bring every day. Nothing can top it.
Lesley said,
December 21, 2007 at 23:48
Oh yeah, and congrats on the upcoming nuptials. Is the bride (or groom-don’t want to assume) to be a regular commenter? Anyone we “know”???
mikey said,
December 21, 2007 at 23:51
You mean you still haven’t married that fine woman?
You’ve been taking far to great a risk for my tastes, young man.
If she gets away, it’ll be on your head!
Congratulations, Gavin (and give her my best too!)
mikey
Righteous Bubba said,
December 21, 2007 at 23:51
Abortions all ’round!
Kathleen said,
December 21, 2007 at 23:52
congratulations!
gbear said,
December 22, 2007 at 0:01
Oh this is so exciting! Do you know yet if it’s a boy or a girl?
I was referring to the spouse, not the ‘oven’. I shouldn’t try to make sly jokes about these kind of things…
Best wishes.
Nimrod Gently said,
December 22, 2007 at 0:03
Oh look a wedding. Yay.
Righteous Bubba said,
December 22, 2007 at 0:08
I was referring to the spouse, not the ‘oven’.
Congratulations to the lucky turtle.
MzNicky said,
December 22, 2007 at 0:09
Congratulations, Gavin, and thanks for all you do.
Leonard Pierce said,
December 22, 2007 at 0:11
Official congratulations, Gavin. As a gift, I will be presenting you with some skull and brain fragments left over from after I blow my head off as a result of having been made aware of MyRightWingDad.com.
K. Ron Silkwood said,
December 22, 2007 at 0:13
Fred has the Wilford Brimley spokesperson persona down pretty good.
If we read this blog are we Sadly Naughts, Sadly Nobodies, or just fascists?
tigrismus said,
December 22, 2007 at 0:21
Congratulations, and best wishes to your betrothed.
t4toby said,
December 22, 2007 at 0:22
Gav is sure being coy about the whole ‘Marriage Announcement’ issue.
gbear said,
December 22, 2007 at 0:28
betrothed
Aren’t they a German glam punk band?
gbear said,
December 22, 2007 at 0:32
How bitter and sarcastic do those of us who can’t legally tie the knot get to be about this? (and I’m not in a mood for any knot tying jokes. or wet suits).
Candy said,
December 22, 2007 at 0:33
Oh, Gavin, another of my little dreams dashed. (runs sobbing to the liquor cabinet.)
Kidding! Best wishes to you and your future spouse, and to the German glam band Betrothed.
Humor Me said,
December 22, 2007 at 0:34
Congrats, I guess..
Please god, let it be a gay-fascist wedding.
tigrismus said,
December 22, 2007 at 0:39
Aren’t they a German glam punk band?
Gavin never ceases to amaze, but I think that would still be illegal even here in Liberal Fascichusetts.
Candy said,
December 22, 2007 at 0:44
gbear, it’s certainly horribly unfair. Here I am, engaged three times and doing the runaway bride thing all three times – and yet I could get married tomorrow if I wanted to. It’s rotten, but hopefully things will change. Even here in little ol’ Des Moines, a judge ruled it was unconstitutional to deny this basic right of contract to gay citizens, which is obvious to any right-thinking human being. Times they are a changin’, even if we have to drag the times kicking and screaming to the change.
kingubu said,
December 22, 2007 at 0:49
Gavin’s getting married on my birthday? Bit of a Homer bowling ball as gifts go but its the thought that counts.
t4toby said,
December 22, 2007 at 0:49
You’re a 3x runaway bride? That is an impressive feat.
Candy said,
December 22, 2007 at 0:59
I never quite got to the altar, so it wasn’t so dramatic as, say, a Julia Roberts flick, but every damned time I’d get a ring on my finger, I’d start thinking guys other than my betrothed were really attractive, and that there was a whole great big world out there, and just what the hell did I think I was doing? and soon I would be ending that relationship and on with another. I was pretty messed up and unstable all during my twenties. Now, I’ve managed to be in a stable relationship for four years, a record for me, and although I don’t want to get married, I’m pretty content. Just took some growing up, I guess.
Molly said,
December 22, 2007 at 1:55
Back to the Doughy Pantload — I shouldn’t be surprised, but nonetheless … Jonah is dissing Hilary for saying these programs are “presents”, and yet no word about Rudy’s “Dear Santa” ad where basically he appears to be asking Santa to provide “peace through strength” and “safe borders.” What, Jonah thinks elves will replace the National Guard?
Lesley said,
December 22, 2007 at 2:07
Fred and his hat remind me of Jed Clampett.
mikey said,
December 22, 2007 at 2:14
Well the first thing you know, ol’ Fred’s the President
Livin’ in a big White House don’t have to pay no rent
He said: “Nappin’ in the Rose Garden’s the place I oughta be”
And he headed out the back door with the tits of Jeri-Lee
Trophy wife, that is
Where the curtains don’t match the rug…
mikey
Lesley said,
December 22, 2007 at 2:18
How bitter and sarcastic do those of us who can’t legally tie the knot get to be about this?
gbear, come on up to Canada. Gay marriage is legal and a booming industry, too. I recommend BC, for the weather.
http://www.samesexmarriage.ca/
g-ear-bay said,
December 22, 2007 at 3:01
Andy Cay, I’d eep kay iet quay about the unaway ray thing for an ile way. The ide bray to ebay may ead ray the ogblay and et gay otions nay.
Lesley. I’ll start looking for that special Canadian guy. Pretty much anyone outside of Thunder Bay or Winnipeg can recommend their weather over what’s going on here in MN right now. I have heard that BC is a beautiful area.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
December 22, 2007 at 4:23
Gundamhead said,
December 21, 2007 at 22:32
I thought we called ourselves “Sadlynauts.”
I’m sticking with “Sadly, No!sians”, but I am a simple common tater, after all.
P.S. Congrats, Gavin!
Arky - Fascistianata said,
December 22, 2007 at 4:32
Congrats Gavin! That has got to be the most subtle marriage announcement eva. (And thanks for the dose of Killing Joke).
Now will someone kindly explain to M. PolitBurro Diktat that Politico is only a lefty rag if the rag to the right is The Washington Times?
Sheesh.
albany layman said,
December 22, 2007 at 5:00
Congrats, Gavin!
Stephen said,
December 22, 2007 at 5:02
Will someone kindly explain to Arky F. that when someone refers to “Bob Owens taking on those Commies at Politico,” he is lampooning Owens’ view of the Politico, not categorizing it himself.
Sheesh.
Notorious P.A.T. said,
December 22, 2007 at 5:50
I don’t know if anyone has mentioned this, but Jonah Goldberg isn’t very smart.
Congratulations Gavin. Where’s the bachelor party? I’ve never been to one of those.
DaFunkyMaoist said,
December 22, 2007 at 5:59
Well, how about docking?
MileHi Hawkeye said,
December 22, 2007 at 6:11
Mazel Tov Gavin! (See how well I’m taking to my new found identity?)
Cindy–
We you planning on getting married somewhere cool like the Salsbury House, Val-Air Ballroom or George the Chili King any of those 3 times?
MileHi Hawkeye said,
December 22, 2007 at 6:19
*hangs head in shame*
Candy, not Cindy (See how good I am with names?)
I blame the biting cold and/or the cold vodka.
Mo's Bike Shop said,
December 22, 2007 at 7:30
Sadly Nazis!
Congrats Gavin
Anne Laurie said,
December 22, 2007 at 7:51
Congratulations, Gavin! (assuming of course this isn’t a double-reverse shot of irony that we all missed)
How bitter and sarcastic do those of us who can’t legally tie the knot get to be about this? (and I’m not in a mood for any knot tying jokes. or wet suits).
GBear, I thought Gavin lived in Massachusetts? We’re so People’s Republic, we even let White Males marry here! No wonder Jonah is bitterly envious!
Gavin M. said,
December 22, 2007 at 8:14
Nono, she actually seems to want to marry someone-who-is-me, for reasons I understand but have trouble totally fathoming. Apparently there are lots of worse people out there.
Anne Laurie said,
December 22, 2007 at 8:34
YAY! It is a fact universally acknowledged that all married people wish other people to get married as well, and it’s not because misery loves company. Over the next months, I will await whatever further details you feel up to sharing with great interest.
GumbyAnne said,
December 22, 2007 at 8:39
I think “Sadly Nobodies” is pretty awesome.
You know what else is awesome? Marriage.
Congrats to Gavin and the bride-to-be!
SEK said,
December 22, 2007 at 9:38
For the record, Gavin’s good people. Were I not in this bad place, I’d surely be appropriately generous …
… right now though, him and all the rest of you fuckers plain and true.
Smut Clyde said,
December 22, 2007 at 10:18
SadlyNocracy.
My internet persona sends its congratulations to yours.
Tehanu said,
December 22, 2007 at 11:58
Gavin: Congrats on your wedding. A wed wose — how womantic!
Mikey: You said:
December 22, 2007 at 2:14
Well the first thing you know, ol’ Fred’s the President
Livin’ in a big White House don’t have to pay no rent
He said: “Nappin’ in the Rose Garden’s the place I oughta be”
And he headed out the back door with the tits of Jeri-Lee
Trophy wife, that is
Where the curtains don’t match the rug…
Mikey, I love you!
celticgirl said,
December 22, 2007 at 15:18
Gavin: congrats on your pending nuptuals…can I assume the attire for the blessed event will be black tie and jackboots?
MzNicky said,
December 22, 2007 at 15:50
Huh. Huh-huh-huh. Anne Laurie said “feel up.” huhhuhhuh.
MzNicky said,
December 22, 2007 at 15:51
Also: what Anne Laurie said about being married and stuff. True that.
Jillian said,
December 22, 2007 at 16:03
This is the same point that Dr. Myers frequently makes when he talks about dealing with creationists. “Debating” them, as the word is commonly understood, is not even possible, because they are not interested in what the rest of us think of as standards of truth or falsity, they are interested in winning. And because they know, in the gnarled little mass of petrified pus that passes for a heart for them, that they are right, anything they do in order to secure that win is acceptable. As time has passed and things in this country have gone from bad to batshit howling insane, I don’t even think of it anymore as “lying for Jesus”. It’s more like “eating a live infant and masturbating into its still-warm skull right in front of its mother, all the while claiming you didn’t do that for Jesus”.
The problem is that in just thirty seconds of speech or two paragraphs of writing, a person like the types that get mocked around here can throw out so many falsehoods and distortions of the truth that it would take hours or pages of writing to set them all straight. And while you are trying to do that, they’ll just go off on another tangent and have done the same thing in another, related topic, leaving you to deal with the detritus of the new topic when you still haven’t finished with the old topic. If you really want to see a master of this technique at work, watch any one of these Kent Hovind debate videos at Youtube.
Creationists have a slew of pseudo-arguments, all based on a misunderstanding of most maths and sciences, and correcting even one of their errors takes time. For example, they’ll make the claim that there are twenty different amino acids occurring naturally in the proteins that make up life, and the chances of those amino acids having come together to make these proteins is beyond probability. To fix what’s wrong with this, you have to know enough chemistry to explain that not all amino acids bond in the same way, and enough math to explain the difference between selection with replacement and selection without replacement – the evolutionary process is not “random”.
Even if you DO have the requisite background knowledge to explain these things to these people, you have to remember that you are explaining them to people who don’t want to hear your explanation, and are already convinced that everything you say is wrong because you are godless and evil. Ever try to teach probability and statistics to someone with no real background in math and who doesn’t really want to listen to anything you have to say – all in under five minutes? I have, and the results aren’t particularly impressive.
This is really why I think the patented Sadlymethod® for dealing with these folks is preferable to anything else. You respond to honest arguments with honest rebuttals. Tools like we see around here are only worth laughing at, because at a fundamental level, they are not arguing in good faith. All they care about is winning. They are the juicepigs in the game of ideas. And when you agree to play the game of honest debate with them, you lend an air of respectability to their hot air that they do not deserve.
There certainly ARE people with more conservative views than what you normally see expressed here that are worth debating with seriously – but let’s be honest: their arguments are not the ones you find in heavy rotation on Fox News.
And I want to add my congratulations on the weddingness stuff. You guys are so full of awesome that your wedding will be a little awesome-fusion power plant, spewing awesomeness out into the local environment for years to come. Mazel tov!
Sadly, No! » Shameless said,
December 22, 2007 at 18:17
[...] brought up the idea not too long ago that for the people who inhabit what passes for “the Right” nowadays, [...]
SEK said,
December 22, 2007 at 20:08
My earlier comment makes more sense when you insert the verb I meant to put there.
tigrismus said,
December 22, 2007 at 20:56
My earlier comment makes more sense when you insert the verb I meant to put there.
“rock?”
Hope your kitty’s OK.
Walt said,
December 22, 2007 at 23:03
Barf. Reading the exchanges with Patterico over at SEK’s site is exhausting. How do you do it, everyday? It’s as if you’re compelled to huff open manholes and sculpt nutty restaurant reviews from the foul wash. Who could blame you for losing your mind? Congrats on getting hitched, though! Perhaps the soon-to-be Mrs. Gavin can help stitch your poor soul back together.
Gentlewoman said,
December 22, 2007 at 23:16
Late to the party as usual, but congratulations to Gavin and his partner!
gbear said,
December 23, 2007 at 7:04
all married people wish other people to get married as well, and it’s not because misery loves company.
I may take the second half of that statement with a grain of salt. ;)