21
Two-Minute Townhall
We haven’t done one of these in a couple months…
Shorter Rich Galen: You can’t trust the Pee-Pee.
Shorter John McCaslin: Excelsior! Trent Lott bases his governing philosophy on the outlook of a town that most Americans have never heard of. [rimshot] 23 Skidoo!
Shorter Mary Grabar: Only filthy communists like Jane Fonda think that teenage girls are interested in dirty yucky sex.
Shorter Chuck Colson: Take it from me, a Watergate criminal: Our country is sadly lacking in moral fiber.
Shorter Bob Burney: Mormons should just come clean about how they are a crazy devil cult.
Shorter Mitt Romney: Thank you, President Bush! Can I have your job now?
Shorter Amanda Carpenter: Sure, the government is planning to build a thousand miles of fences along the Mexican border, but if it was really serious about protecting us from the dark people, it would build a thousand miles of DOUBLE fences.
Shorter Dick Morris: As a highly paid political analyst, I am predicting that Hillary Clinton will win the Democratic nomination, unless someone else does.
Shorter Larry Kudlow: Is the Fed doing enough to help the rich get richer?
Shorter Emmett Tyrell: I’m not going to abandon a fellow plutocrat just because he’s been convicted of a few measly counts of fraud.
Shorter Larry Elder: Attempts to correct the vast racial inequality that exists in America can have unintended consequences, so we shouldn’t even try.
Shorter Bob Novak: Hey, everybody, I’m not in jail yet!
Shorter Marvin Olasky: We should all set aside our petty politics and concentrate on doing what Jesus Christ, lord and savior of all who live, wants us to do.
Shorter George Will: Thinking of Hillary Clinton’s campaign puts me in mind of her husband, Bill Clinton, and all the awful things he did that we can never forget.
Shorter Donald Lambro: It’s ‘business as usual’ as I, a rich white man, deliver a lecture on how crooked Congressional Democrats are, and use bogus number-crunching to prove how millionaires pay too much in taxes.
Shorter William Rusher: Using this doomsday scenario I made up, you can see how you can only trust intelligence that tells you what you really want to hear.
Shorter Matt Towery: It’s not that I don’t hate John Edwards; it’s just that he makes Hillary and Obama look bad.
Shorter Clifford May: It’s okay when I say that America starts wars because of oil, because I’m a conservative.
Shorter Steven Chapman: I am pointedly not mentioning the United States in this column about how freedom is on the decline in a number of countries.
Shorter Victor Dufus Hanson: I would like to join my colleague George Will in reminding everyone that Bill Clinton was a bad man and we can never ever forget how much he ruined America.
Shorter Ken Blackwell: McCain-Huckabee ’08! No, really, I’m serious!
Shorter David R. Stokes: If Time magazine isn’t run by a bunch of commies, then why don’t they make JESUS their Man of the Year?
Shorter Doug MacKinnon: In an imaginary country I made up founded by crazy right-wing militiamen, you’re allowed to own guns, unlike in America.
Shorter Ross MacKenzie: Democrats want to spend your money on “news taxes” instead of “hostility to Islamofascism”.
Shorter Hugh Hewitt: I have a bigger man-crush on Mitt Romney than Kathryn Jean Lopez does.
It is done! I’ve raised enough $ through y’all’s good graces to make a huge jackass out of myself at CPAC in February! I can’t thank you folks enough — hopefully, my dispatches from inside the Chee-To-stained belly of the beast will go a ways to pay back your generosity. There’s also enough extra to add to the Sadly, No! Widows and Orphans fund, but if you haven’t donated and you’re still feeling eleemosynary, keep that mayonnaise spreadin’, yo! Click below or use the Amazon link to your right: it’s the season of giving, and you can still help Baby Gavin get a copy of “Hateful Photoshopping for Toddlers”, Baby Seb get a subscription to Organic Fascist Weekly, Baby HTML a new tube of fist-shaking ointment, Baby Travis a DVD of Hot Conservative Asian Trampoline Tramps, Baby Bradrocket some experimental brain surgery that will remove the parts that were cauterized by reading Jonah Goldberg’s new book, Baby Jillian a 2008 Leon Trotsky swimsuit calendar, Baby Clif a dream date with Ace of Spades, and Baby D. Aristophanes a combination shoe buffer/suicide booth. Thanks again for your incredble generosity.
dBa said,
December 21, 2007 at 0:21
“What has happened to the simple principle of telling the truth? ”
George Bush happened to it.
Gonzales happened to it.
Cheney happened to it.
Teh.GOP.happened.to.it.
Bob Loblaw said,
December 21, 2007 at 0:22
Why should you go to jail for a crime someone else noticed?
dBa said,
December 21, 2007 at 0:24
Oh, and when you get to CPAC, steer clear of Ace, you know…open hailing frequencies in his pants and all.
Righteous Bubba said,
December 21, 2007 at 0:25
You can’t trust the pee-pee.
This isn’t gonna be another baseball thread is it?
Robert M. said,
December 21, 2007 at 0:27
You’re missing a quotation mark in the Hagelin link.
Also, Even Shorter Romney: Please, 30%ers, love me!
Mudkips said,
December 21, 2007 at 0:32
I like this from the Mormon column:
“The Jesus of Mormonism is the ‘spirit child’ of his ‘heavenly parents.’ He is in no way part of a triune Godhead.”
Crazy Mormons and their inability to recognize the concept of the triune Godhead which was invented by the Byzantines a couple of hundred years after Christ!
Dan Someone said,
December 21, 2007 at 0:35
Mister Leonard Pierce (do you mind if I call you “Mister”?), do you have any plans to ink the names of your contributors all over your body with a Sharpie? because I am pretty sure that would justify spending our hard-earned simoleons on your trip.
pedestrian said,
December 21, 2007 at 0:36
Even Shorter Amanda Carpenter: “Wait a minute… George Bush just set up a fake photo op! Can he do that?”
Doctorb Science said,
December 21, 2007 at 0:37
Rusher’s war fantasy is pretty weird — somehow the Eeeeevil Mullahs of Iranistan snuck nucular bombs into Washington, NY, and LA (who needs port security when you have laser space frisbees?), and the only way to stop them (aside from letting them invade Saudi Arabia and thus failing to Protect the Saudi Royal Democracy) is if we NUKE THEM FIRST.
With, one presumes, our FTL ICBMs, which can fly from here to Tehran in less time than it takes for an Islamohomomexiliberalfascist nucular agent to let go of the deadman switch.
Also, they’re threatening us, but only through telling one spy, and then they’ll really threaten us officially in 12 hours but right now they’re denying it.
I see he’s the author of “How to Win Arguments”. How exciting.
Leonard Pierce said,
December 21, 2007 at 0:39
Dan — actually, I plan to ink the names of my contributors all over Megan McArdle’s body, using whatever materials are to hand.
Doctorb Science said,
December 21, 2007 at 0:42
I like the word “Godhead”, but it makes me think of Voltron for some reason.
And there appeared in the sky a great figure, whose feet and legs were lions, and whose arms and body were lions, and whose head was a lion, and with its blazing sword it cleaved in twain the robeast and killed it, yea even unto death.
Doctorb Science said,
December 21, 2007 at 0:43
The one thing with this Doughfest is that we don’t hear from Megan McArdle enough anymore. Could someone photoshop her into a sexy elf costume? It’s, er, for school.
Leonard Pierce said,
December 21, 2007 at 0:46
Holy cats, have we done anything with this yet? Gavin?
dBa said,
December 21, 2007 at 0:49
Shorter Ken Blackwell: In Ohio, whoever I picked to win, did win.
Gavin M. said,
December 21, 2007 at 0:53
Hmm. I think success will depend on whose figure is scurrying away across the field.
Ted said,
December 21, 2007 at 0:58
Hmm. I think success will depend on whose figure is scurrying away across the field.
Is it ready yet?
Leonard Pierce said,
December 21, 2007 at 1:01
Judging from her recent blog entries, it should either be Ron Paul, Barack Obama or people who don’t mug her.
J— said,
December 21, 2007 at 1:03
Holy cats, have we done anything with this yet? Gavin?
There’s a whole Flickr album from that outing, by the way.
Righteous Bubba said,
December 21, 2007 at 1:05
Gunga Dim.
Jemand von Niemand said,
December 21, 2007 at 1:07
…experimental brain surgery that will remove the parts that were cauterized by reading Jonah Goldberg’s new book…
The stupid. It burns. Atrios warned you, man.
Smut Clyde said,
December 21, 2007 at 1:09
I think the Triune Godhead was in the first edition of the AD&D Monster Manual, but then they dropped it because of copyright issues.
Notorious P.A.T. said,
December 21, 2007 at 1:10
After a few days of J-Gold’s magnum opus, the folks at TownHall actually seem like an intellectual breath of fresh air.
Saul said,
December 21, 2007 at 1:13
The bottom line is, George Bush and Dick Cheney are Patriots who have done alot of good for this Great Nation and have practicaly destroyed islamo-fascism. The bottom line is you liberals oppose Bush and Cheney and oppose torturing terrorists because you hate America and want us to be defeated so you can create your own socialist one world “paradise”. Its never gonna happen lefty trolls, we in the Heartland have our eye on you.
Gavin M. said,
December 21, 2007 at 1:17
Saul said,
December 21, 2007 at 1:17
The bottom line is, Mitt Romney would make an excellent President, however you liberals oppose him because he is a Patriot and a Religious man who wants to secure our borders, defeat terror, end abortion and protect marriage. You liberals would never support anyone like that because you hate America and our Traditional Values which Mitt Romney if elected President would up-hold.
Olexicon said,
December 21, 2007 at 1:17
but according to George Bush ” Ameica does notr torture” why are you contradicting the commnader IN Chief? do you hate AMerica
edgyspice said,
December 21, 2007 at 1:18
The bottom line is, Heartland Heartland Heartland Heartland Heartland Heartland Heartland Heartland Heartland Heartland Heartland Heartland Heartland Heartland Heartland Heartland Heartland Heartland Heartland Heartland Heartland Heartland Heartland Heartland Heartland Heartland
Jay B. said,
December 21, 2007 at 1:19
Being lectured by Charles Colson on ethics is like being lectured by Jonah Goldberg on the fascist leanings of liberalism.
Jemand von Niemand said,
December 21, 2007 at 1:21
Lining up to be an Unterstumfuhrer, eh, Saul?
Will you be personally involved in packing the boxcars and busses, or do you feel more excited at the prospect of giving the orders?
Djur said,
December 21, 2007 at 1:21
I just spurted.
Anna said,
December 21, 2007 at 1:23
can’t one of you Sadlies please take a moment to shower some love on Cap’n Ed, who has just posted something called “MinnMon–A Soros Joint”?
that’s right. “A Soros JOINT.”
if you don’t put a stop to him now, he’ll be doing the exclamation point/1 thing next. mark my words.
alec said,
December 21, 2007 at 1:24
The bottom line is, George Bush and Dick Cheney are Patriots who have done alot of good for this Great Nation and have practicaly destroyed islamo-fascism. The bottom line is you liberals oppose Bush and Cheney and oppose torturing terrorists because you hate America and want us to be defeated so you can create your own socialist one world “paradise”. Its never gonna happen lefty trolls, we in the Heartland have our eye on you.
You know, the way I was brought up, exhibiting this kind of cowardice got your ass belted. Something to do with being a man.
But hey, being a momma’s boy in a flight suit with a giant codpiece works too, princess.
Saul said,
December 21, 2007 at 1:25
The bottom line is, I am very disappointed that Congressman Tom Tancredo’s Presidential Campaign didn’t generate enough momentum for him to stay in the race. The bottom line is, Tom Tancredo was my first choice for President and he had the best platform by far of any of the candidates. I hope he runs for the Senate in Colorado and gets elected, we need more Conservatives their to ban gay marriage and help secure our borders.
Righteous Bubba said,
December 21, 2007 at 1:26
I like that the panda is cringing.
Gavin M. said,
December 21, 2007 at 1:33
SamFrömmÜtah said,
December 21, 2007 at 1:34
LOLz! (at Gavin’s second pic there)
SamFrömmÜtah said,
December 21, 2007 at 1:35
Hey – remember that photoshop of GWB and his dad fishing in the post-Katrina floods of Nawlins? Shotgun Meg might go well on that…
fred said,
December 21, 2007 at 1:36
I’ve started adding to my killfile everyone who responds to Saul or Gary or whatever other troll might appear.
The threads are a much faster read already.
Leonard Pierce said,
December 21, 2007 at 1:37
Man. With those three on patrol, the malls of America are safer than ever.
Gary Ruppert said,
December 21, 2007 at 1:42
The fact and bottom line is, Fred, fuck you.
Robert Green said,
December 21, 2007 at 1:49
-
Jill Art
1
-
-
true
false
true
false
images/lambxmas.jpg
images/lambxmas.jpg
images/lambxmas.jpg
thumbnails/lambxmas.jpg
556
640
thumbnails/lambxmas.jpg
79
90
lambxmas.jpg
6654
c:\users\robert\documents\jill art\lambxmas.jpg
itemNameOnly UNDEFINED (9)
lambxmas.jpg
itemSize UNDEFINED (9)
Robert Green said,
December 21, 2007 at 1:50
well that didn’t work now did it?
hmmm
how the fuck?
anyway, merry holidays and happy fuckyoubilloreillyas every one!
Krassen said,
December 21, 2007 at 1:53
RE: Romney’s piece on Bush. Remmeber there was a post by Anne Laurie awhile ago, on how the Harvard MBAs are like a priesthood with a single goal of bringing up benefits to its members. She nailed it. Romney is slimy enough to know that there are no votes in supporting GWB, yet his alegiance to the Harvard Business School order prevents him from going after him.
More Romney: A gem in the HuffPost:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/chris-kelly/mitticisms-martin-luthe_b_77711.html
OT: Remember the movie Midnight Express? It was released in 1978,
look where we are 30 years later:
http://www.sott.net/articles/show/145536-A-young-blonde-Icelandic-woman-s-recent-experience-visiting-the-US
Strange Forces said,
December 21, 2007 at 2:03
Doctorb Science:
You totally just worked in a crazy Bloom County reference. Giant Laser Space Frisbees. I am in awe.
Robert Green said,
December 21, 2007 at 2:10
http://anothergreenworld.blogspot.com/2007/12/blog-post.html
there you go–a special card from my family to everyone everywhere.
next–a photo like 2girls1cup only sicker, possibly.
enjoy.
mikey said,
December 21, 2007 at 2:20
Now that’s a great PShop, Gavin m’man.
Shooters, Looters, Neuters and Pooters…
mikey
D. Sidhe said,
December 21, 2007 at 2:40
Shorter David R. Stokes: If Time magazine isn’t run by a bunch of commies, then why don’t they make JESUS their Man of the Year?
Holy shit, I thought you were joking.
Doctorb Science said,
December 21, 2007 at 2:43
The truth, Strange Forces, is that “24″ is actually a children’s show.
His Grace said,
December 21, 2007 at 2:47
Re: Shorter David R. Stokes.
I don’t know what was more disturbing, the fact that the shorter was completely bang on or that Stokes ends the piece basically saying that General Petraeus is like Jesus.
And the Doug MacKinnon link doesn’t work.
pedestrian said,
December 21, 2007 at 2:52
Yeah, Al Gore must be really crushed that he came in second for TIME’s Man of the Year.
The Nobel Prize feels pretty light now, eh buddy? Don’t worry, I’ll let you hold mine sometime.
w Thomas Smith Jr said,
December 21, 2007 at 3:02
The MacKinnon link is all broke and shit. Which is unfortunate, cuz he’s good.
A shorter MacKinnon would be “I rewrote The Turner Diaries! Someone actually read it!”
Oh, and right wing chicks are hot-
http://www.rightwingnews.com/category.php?ent=8368
Say, whatever happened to rightthinkinggirl?
Candy said,
December 21, 2007 at 3:06
I looked at that Stokes thing. Then I made the mistake of reading the comments. Still the same old same old, “Al Gore is fat,” “Al Bore”, and literally “Neener neener neener”. Sad.
pedestrian said,
December 21, 2007 at 3:07
Oh, and right wing chicks are hot-
I love how the only thing that he notices though is that they have brains and personalities. Such a gentleman.
Djur said,
December 21, 2007 at 3:14
That’s not David R. Stokes, that’s Zippy T. Pinhead.
w Thomas Smith Jr said,
December 21, 2007 at 3:22
Still the same old same old, “Al Gore is fat,” “Al Bore”, and literally “Neener neener neener”. Sad.
Michael Moore is also, apparently, fat-
peppermintsplace.townhall.com/g/666e9020-007f-485d-9cb8-5386bfa0a121
mikey said,
December 21, 2007 at 3:25
If Michael Moore lost, like, oh I dunno, like a hundred and fifty pounds, what would they do? What would they say?
Would they actually have to shut up?
mikey
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
December 21, 2007 at 3:34
dBa said,
December 21, 2007 at 0:49
Shorter Ken Blackwell: In Ohio, whoever I picked to win, did win.
Kenny deserves to share “Hey, everybody, I’m not in jail yet!” with Novacula.
mikey said,
December 21, 2007 at 4:06
Oh, and I really do have to mention the TownHall banner.
Whatever color, suede poo is a very special excrement…
mikey
Patkin said,
December 21, 2007 at 4:06
I dunno about a Leon Trotsky swimsuit calender. If it were me, I’d be wanting a Rosa Luxembourg swimsuit calender.
Marxist icons murdered by the real Freikorps = Hot.
Michael Blaine said,
December 21, 2007 at 4:07
Shorter US Congress: Jesus Christ is officially our national savior!
Read the details at:
‘Minnesota’s Own Version of “Verjudung,” or How Somali Refugees Threaten Christmas In The Upper Midwest’
at:
“Rudely Stamped,” http://www.rudelystamped.blogspot.com
Michael Blaine
http://www.rudelystamped.blogspot.com
mikey said,
December 21, 2007 at 4:15
Geez, Blaine.
You couldn’t even try to disguise it a little bit?
Just flat out whoring around on other peoples traffic?
Rudely. Yep, I reckon so.
Sheesh, kids today!
mikey
HTML Mencken said,
December 21, 2007 at 4:33
Hello, Amanda Carpenter! Hubba hubba! Could you be the new Marie Jon’?
I’m heading over to Subhuman Vents Online right now…
MzNicky said,
December 21, 2007 at 4:46
Would they actually have to shut up?
mikey: No.
mikey said,
December 21, 2007 at 5:04
I was afraid of that….
mikey
Arky - Fascistianata said,
December 21, 2007 at 5:10
1. Michael “SatanWorshippingCommieFascist” Moore was fat.
2. Michael “SatanWorshippingCommieFascist” Moore finally realized that he’s never going to get free HilteryCare so he decided to slim down.
3. Aha! According to Herr LædedHösen, dieting proves Michael
“SatanWorshippingCommieFascist” Moore is a fascist.
Also, since I think Michael Moore would look like Michale Stipes if he lost 150:
4. A-ha! Michael “SatanWorshippingCommieFascist” Moore is a meth addict!
HTML Mencken said,
December 21, 2007 at 5:25
Oh, c’mon, Arky. They’d say Michael Moore’s got ‘The AIDS.’
gbear said,
December 21, 2007 at 5:26
I can’t say that I’ve seen any direct evidence that Somali Immigrants have been trying to shut down Christmas here. They still seem to like shopping at the Mall of America with all the Lutherns, I haven’t seen any boycotts or vandalism of Christmas displays, the city of St. Cloud MN is keeping the manger display on top of city hall while african and american black students at the college in St. Cloud are still being spit on and nazi saluted ( http://www.startribune.com/local/12616466.html ). Nope, can’t say that I’ve seen any evidence that Somali folks want people to stay home or not celebrate. I’d have to say that the only people who think there is a riot going on are the properly white folks who are disturbed that they have to interact with Somalis when they go shopping (Immigrants do make up the majority of check-out clerks at the Nordstrom Rack and Marshall stores). How can these proper folks feel good about Christmas when their goods and money are being handled so often by so many non-christians? It only stands to reason that Christmas is under a horrible assault.
I wish these jerks hadn’t gained control of both Twin City newspapers. If you judged us by our major MSM, we suck. (the lone exception being columnist Nick Coleman at the Strib. No relation to Norm). Oh, and St Cloud MN simply DOES suck. http://www.10000takes.com/2006/11/worst_places_to_live_in_americ.html
Batocchio said,
December 21, 2007 at 5:31
That Rusher column may be a new low in ridiculous hypotheticals.
These guys don’t want to be president. They want to write for 24.
g said,
December 21, 2007 at 5:40
Well, here in rainy Santa Monica the Heal the Bay fascist nazi hippies had their No Plastic Bag day and parade/War on Christmas event.
I think I actually complied with it, because I haven’t had any time to do any kind of shopping at all.
I like the Rusher column. The only thing he leaves out is where Doctor Evil and Frau Fassbinder go “Bwah hah ha hah!” That and the sharks with frickin’ laser beams on top of their heads.
g said,
December 21, 2007 at 5:44
But as I look around, I see that such a sexual revolution message has brought boomer women to their own lonely third phase, with children aborted due to the pressure of the live-in boyfriend, who decided after years of the benefits of cohabitation not to commit to marriage.
Oh, I think now I see what’s at the heart of Mary Graber’s discontent. The bastard won’t give it up with the ring!
Clem said,
December 21, 2007 at 6:05
Nice P’Shops, Gavin, but I still like my take.
w Thomas Smith Jr said,
December 21, 2007 at 6:25
If Michael Moore lost, like, oh I dunno, like a hundred and fifty pounds, what would they do? What would they say?
Would they actually have to shut up?
You might not have read the link?
http://peppermintsplace.townhall.com/g/666e9020-007f-485d-9cb8-5386bfa0a121
Might just be me (and i’m all for disbanding the Fed and starting competing currencies cuz that would work and seriously fix those alien lizards who started the Masons and control all international banking) but I’m pretty sure they’d figure out some other slow death fantasy for the newly Huckabeed Moore. Something about strapping him up like a scarecrow in an Iowa cornfield and making him drink ethonal while Raging Bunny punches his testical and crows pluck out his eyes and Pappy wanks and teadrinker, Purplegimp, Nee wank and Crawfish and his band of Poll Katz, Terri, Nazz, Ron, Bill, and Ginny wank and Chief Justice Ann Coulter looks divine in a simple black cocktail dress and GunnyG dances the sweet fandango on the graves of mexican babies and then we’re off to slowly torture and kill Barbra Steisand…
But then, I could be wrong.
w Thomas Smith Jr said,
December 21, 2007 at 6:33
Hello, Amanda Carpenter! Hubba hubba! Could you be the new Marie Jon’?
Sexist pig.
Check this one out, you can just make her right boob your desktop wallpaper-
http://www.humanevents.com/images/Carpenter_Photo_Lg.jpg
w Thomas Smith Jr said,
December 21, 2007 at 7:01
You might not have read the link?
http://peppermintsplace.townhall.com/g/666e9020-007f-485d-9cb8-5386bfa0a121
and don’t forget to read the comments, cuz some of you liberal pukes are mentioned-
“Willi Beax writes: Wednesday, May, 09, 2007 11:20 PM
Yo Peppermint
I’m speechless. If Michael Moore, by any stretch of the imagination, had any idea what his fate would be!! Mind your P’s and Q’s Mikey and reform now before it’s too late or else suffer the consequences.
I’m glad I had my din-din before reading this chapter.
Brad!! If you are out there, you had better keep your eyes open. If you think Pepps Mossad treated you poorly, wait until dem der Poll Katz gits der hands on you.”
Can’t tell you how proud i am to be an American.
Smut Clyde said,
December 21, 2007 at 7:03
Marxist icons murdered by the real Freikorps = Hot.
I suspect she looked better before that unfortunate episode.
J. A. Baker said,
December 21, 2007 at 7:05
You noticed that, too, eh? Some wingnut definitely has an inflated opinion of himself.
Incidentally, the correct MacKinnon link is here. If you want a thorough smackdown of his “novel,” you can find it on my blog.
w Thomas Smith Jr said,
December 21, 2007 at 9:35
Incidentally, the correct MacKinnon link is here. If you want a thorough smackdown of his “novel,” you can find it on my blog.
Pappy was standing in front of him. “You havein a good time strumpeting your blog hereabouts”, Pappy saided.?Baker looked up at the man, “I need some link-love. You just can’t not give me link love. It’s against my rights as a citizen of these United States.” Pappy laughed so hard he peed hisself and Baker was sure he felt the ground commove.
Then Pappy and Crawfish and PurpleGimp and Nee and InbredHillbilly and Raging Bunny chopped J.A Baker up into tiny bits with hatchets and pinking sheers and made tasty crustless cucumber tea-sandwiches from his bloody corpse and served them to George Clooney and Angela Jolie.
concerned said,
December 21, 2007 at 10:24
Don’t know about you all, but i think that bit about chopping people up with pinking shears and serving them as sandwiches to Hollywood celebrities is totally unacceptable.
Seriously, “pinking shears”? Next you will be encouraging bloodthirsty murder with butter knives, cutical pushers and macara tweezers. You people are sick.
Juliet Smith's Diary said,
December 21, 2007 at 10:50
We uns was just hang about down these parts and seen this here bidness about you all liebrils makin fun of us torturing that fat moore and worshiping the goddess Coulter, and me, Poll Katz, GunnyG, Paulie, xpressit, J-Dawg and WilliBeax ain’t one bit happy about it.
We Patriots don’t take lightly to that buziness.
Shet yer mouths or me, Paulie, Terri, Nazz, Ron, Bill, Ginny, ThumpertheDogFacedBoy, DikHead, MushroomHead, DildoBoy and RoNGuilianiGiantpenis are coming over there to skin your faces off with our teeth, ship the flesh off to China to be made into dogfood and then laugh when your sharpei drops dead and then laugh even harder when teadrinker, Purplegimp, Nee, and Raging Bunny buttrape your dead dogs ugly corpse, grind it into cocktail weinies and serve it to Al Bore at the UN.
Patkin said,
December 21, 2007 at 11:18
Because nothing demands “take me seriously” more than engaging in bestial necrophilia.
I’m fairly certain it was in the guide to formal rhetoric in college.
College being the big place your daddy is ashamed you couldn’t get into.
owlbear1 said,
December 21, 2007 at 13:17
Smut Clyde said,
December 21, 2007 at 1:09
I think the Triune Godhead was in the first edition of the AD&D Monster Manual, but then they dropped it because of copyright issues.
==
Hmm, leafing through my copy I’m not seeing it. I think you were remembering Elric?
Juliet Smith's Diary said,
December 21, 2007 at 14:04
College being the big place your daddy is ashamed you couldn’t get into.
Me and POeDude and PorkbellYFatChunks is gonna stomp your faggy ivory tower ass and then let J-Dawg, along with Crawfish and the Poll Kat kill your dog and make Al Bore eat it and then vomit it up an then make you eat it while me and GunnyG, Crawfish, Xpressit, Paulie, Ch47jockey, and WilliBeax beat off on your face.
Patkin said,
December 21, 2007 at 14:55
while me and GunnyG, Crawfish, Xpressit, Paulie, Ch47jockey, and WilliBeax beat off on your face.
Fags.
Concerned said,
December 21, 2007 at 15:13
Fags.
?
Seriously, do you people have no shame?
Gary Ruppert said,
December 21, 2007 at 15:37
The fact is, liberal HAVE no shame, they are all about hating America, loving muslims, classwar and not working at all, just complaining, and using emotions not facts in their arguments which is why they cannot engage in reasoned discourse, as well, their potty mouthes and revenge fantasies as well as homophobia (like eveyrthing else, like racism, OK if liberals do it) mean nobody takes them seriously anyway.
night manager said,
December 21, 2007 at 15:40
cleanup to aisle ‘t’, please
El Cid said,
December 21, 2007 at 15:43
Hey everyone, thanks to our united liberal efforts, we’ve finally succeeded in getting the local mosque to hold weekly sessions on how to fake the government into giving you welfare for not working while simultaneously training you for the Leninist jihad we know is inevitable.
The fact is, we still need some volunteers to step up to provide the chips and dip we were promised. So let’s get going, okay?
pedestrian said,
December 21, 2007 at 16:00
I’ve got a great dip recipe, but I’ll need the testicles of several heterosexual white men and the blood of many Christian babies.
Legalize said,
December 21, 2007 at 16:06
Wow, this thread makes no sense.
pedestrian said,
December 21, 2007 at 16:13
Wow, this thread makes no sense.
I think it was the brown acid. I liked it better in the old days, when we just passed a fat one and reminisced about food.
Adrock said,
December 21, 2007 at 16:19
Not so sure George Will: I can write ridiculous stuff like this and those dingbats in the MSM will still invite me on as a premier guest on some of the nations most influential shows!
El Cid said,
December 21, 2007 at 16:22
Oh, well, given that Hillary Clinton 12 years ago ordered the UN to clandestinely remove white men’s testicles and replace them with Muslim ovaries reshaped into testicles, guess we’ll have to find another recipe.
Kyso K said,
December 21, 2007 at 17:38
I’m just impressed that the picture accompanying Stokes’ column actually goes with the column. He mentioned Putin, they picked a picture of Putin just like a real news site. Someone’s earned a cookie.
Doctorb Science said,
December 22, 2007 at 0:29
For “Monster Manual” read “Deities and Demigods”. That was the one with copyright problems.
Smut Clyde said,
December 22, 2007 at 11:00
That was the one with copyright problems.
I would feel ashamed of admitting such in-depth knowledge.