20
Words, They Are A-Failin’ Me
Oh my God:
If only Michael Vick were white, he’d be the ideal martyr for liberal fascist oppression.
“Man, if only I’d read Jonah’s book, I’d be back at the ranch torturing
dogs as we speak! If I could’ve just told the judge about how PETA
hippies are actually just Nazis, he’d'a definitely let me off!”
I’ve got nothing to add to this. The stupid is driving me to despair.
Clif adds:
A similar syllogism would be this:
1. All Nazis liked sex
2. All liberals like sex
3. Therefore, all liberals are Nazis!
I am sure that Jonah’s course studies at Goucher College probably didn’t include even an introductory logic course, so he is no doubt blissfully unaware that this is the syllogistic fallacy called the “fallacy of the undistributed middle.” That is, of course, choice, since Jonah does himself suffer from an “undistributed middle.”
Der Rocketführer adds:
I haven’t even gotten to the bits yet where Jonah says the Nazis were pro-gay-rights! That, my friends, is going to be something to behold.
Gavin adds: The Nazis believed in the right to a juicy burger.
actor212 said,
December 20, 2007 at 17:54
So even the pre-Nazi Germany was Nazi? Huh? How far back? Shall we explore the Teuts and see if, in fact, they were the liberal fascists of the Roman empire?
actor212 said,
December 20, 2007 at 17:55
They must have lived in Massa-Teuts-etts…
Clütch414 said,
December 20, 2007 at 17:57
An alternaltive title to this “book”:
“Godwin Poops”
norbizness said,
December 20, 2007 at 17:58
It’s perfectly understandishable!
Jonah Gold...mountain said,
December 20, 2007 at 17:58
Hahaha I actually rather enjoyed that one. Did Nazi parents love their children? I hope not, I’ve kind of grown attached to the little runts.
Clambone said,
December 20, 2007 at 17:58
I wish I was a photoshop wizard, because this calls for some propaganda posters. “When you visit the vet, you’re riding with HITLER!” “Electrocute a puppy for America!” That sort of thing.
owlbear1 said,
December 20, 2007 at 17:59
Shorter LoadPants:
Are you as fucking dumb as I think you are?
Agi said,
December 20, 2007 at 18:00
A response to Atrios’ attack on “the defeatists”.
Yes, Atrios hates us for our freedom.
Doghouse Riley said,
December 20, 2007 at 18:00
Sheesh, and I used to imagine that even stupid people could manage to call someone else a Nazi effectively.
Sarcastro said,
December 20, 2007 at 18:01
Nazis liked breathing as well. Thus, the freedom of the world rests upon a much needed worldwide takeover by zombies.
javaphil said,
December 20, 2007 at 18:04
Nazi Nazi oxen-free! This book is the naziest! It’s naziliscious. It’s nazitacular…on ice!
whetstone said,
December 20, 2007 at 18:04
Y’all aren’t thinking these things through. Michael Vick kills dogs, which is a very anti-fascist thing to do, but he’s also a very talented athlete, which as we all know is something the Nazis really valued. So he’s actually a fascist.
Incontinentia Buttocks said,
December 20, 2007 at 18:05
The fact that these conventionally leftist views were held by Nazis suggests that Nazism isn’t as alien to mainstream progressive thought as some would have us believe.
Other than the whole election eliminating, enormous secret police apparatus building, aggressive war causing, and genocide creating aspects of Nazism, the movement was just like “conventional leftism”!
Next chapter: How Eisenhower’s creation of the interstate system indicates that Ike, too, was a Nazi.
Dhalgren said,
December 20, 2007 at 18:06
ZOMG!!!!! ZOMG!!!!!!
master of logic said,
December 20, 2007 at 18:13
A quote from later on in the book:
“Nazis were well-known for their use of math. Army generals would use numbers to determine strategies.
Oddly enough, this ‘math’ is now being taught in high schools all over America, as part of the liberals’ plot of Nazi indoctrination.”
(please note my facetious tone)
Leonard Pierce said,
December 20, 2007 at 18:14
Man, it’s really astonishing how straight a face Der Pantenlöder can maintain while he’s ignoring the essentials. Every single thing you’ve excerpted has basically argued that what constitutes fascism is its inessential components.
EVERY SANE PERSON IN THE WORLD: The Nazis were fascistic because of their mass murder of their sanctioned enemies, their extreme rightist views, their totalitarian governance, their consolidation of state and corporate power, their persecution of despised minorities, their use of violent propaganda, their militaristic aggression, their intense nationalism, and their devotion to a leader with dictatorial powers.
JONAH GOLDBERG: The Nazis were fascistic because of their vegetarianism, their promotion of health food, their emphasis on physical fitness, their use of the word ’socialist’, their love of the environment, their defense of animal rights, their attitudes towards health care, their laws regarding gun ownership, and their fondess for organic farming.
So, in other words, what made the Nazis fascists were, you know, all the things that have nothing to do with the actual qualities of fascism.
Jonah Gold...mountain said,
December 20, 2007 at 18:14
Y’all aren’t thinking these things through. Michael Vick kills dogs, which is a very anti-fascist thing to do, but he’s also a very talented athlete, which as we all know is something the Nazis really valued. So he’s actually a fascist.
Because he is a black man, it can be assumed that he hates white men, making him a definate fascist. It should be noted that he may not hate white people, but if he does not he should state so more clearly, because the fact that many black people do hate white people suggests that black people are not as different from Nazis as we have been led to assume. That the Nazis themselves hated black people does not weaken my point; in fact, it is central to it.
Davis said,
December 20, 2007 at 18:15
I wonder why being against clubbing baby seals for their fur, against hunting whales to extinction, and against torturing animals with cosmetics are “conventionally leftist views”. Who but complete assholes are for these things? Oh, I just answered my own question.
edub said,
December 20, 2007 at 18:16
Nazism and animal rights activism definitely share, uh, let’s see. . .
I know! They share ism! They both end in eye ess em!
sophronia said,
December 20, 2007 at 18:16
Congratu;ations, people. We have now all been present for the revelation of THE STUPIDEST THING EVER SAID BY ANYONE, ANYWHERE.
Hey Jonah, I’ve got a question for you. When you hear that Sting song about how the Russians (commies!) love their children too, do you run to the nearest bridge and throw your kids off of it?
actor212 said,
December 20, 2007 at 18:18
Doghouse Riley said,
December 20, 2007 at 18:00
Sheesh, and I used to imagine that even stupid people could manage to call someone else a Nazi effectively.
Damn. Leave it to Doghouse to cut thru the shit and get right to the hear of Fudgie’s self-esteem issues…Obviously, Fugie’s feelings got hurt when the last
hookergirlfriend he tried to fuck called him a Nazi, so he figured he’d disempower the word by overuse and inappropriate application.Too bad for Fudgie, it didn’t work.
actor212 said,
December 20, 2007 at 18:20
I suspect Fudgie would say Michael Vick killed his dogs to save them, so he’s a liberal fascist.
NickM said,
December 20, 2007 at 18:21
I think we see where this is heading . . . .
So how long before Doughy starts claiming his book is intentional satire?
pedestrian said,
December 20, 2007 at 18:22
ZOMG!!!!! ZOMG!!!!!!
At least they weren’t speaking Spanish, the language of Franco, in an English country, like America. We may as well be speaking German, which is what we would be speaking if we lost WWII, which is what the Nazis would have wanted.
Doodle Bean said,
December 20, 2007 at 18:23
Dahlgren,
ZOMG, indeed! Note that the Nazi kicked the American in the left ankle.
He musta been reading Goldberg’s Meisterwerk and knew the left ankle was the seat of the evil American lieberal’s fascistic power… or something like that…
And Brad,
Don’t despair! We need to write about Goldberg’s idiocy instead of your dating woes or sports! You must hang in there no matter what new moronic lows you witness! We need you, man!! Stay strong!!!!!
dBa said,
December 20, 2007 at 18:27
Now I’m adding humanity and conservation to my Nazi inspired thought processes?
I thought it was tough being a food-eating exercising hippy white male Jew…but this is gonna be really hard.
SamFromUtah said,
December 20, 2007 at 18:30
When you hear that Sting song about how the Russians (commies!) love their children too…
IIRC Sting just sang that he hoped the Russians loved their children. If so, that’s a loophole Doughbob might exploit.
Big picture: It’s still looking like the Loadmeister has managed to write a whole book called “Liberal Fascism” without actually defining “Liberal” or “Fascism” except as synonyms of one another.
Jeff Fecke said,
December 20, 2007 at 18:33
Michael Vick kills dogs, which is a very anti-fascist thing to do, but he’s also a very talented athlete, which as we all know is something the Nazis really valued. So he’s actually a fascist.
A seeming conundrum, but I can solve it. Is Vick a liberal? If so, then his athleticism makes him a fascist. Is he a conservative? His hatred of dogs makes him a wonderful human being.
Q.E.etos.
kindness said,
December 20, 2007 at 18:33
I guess the pantload never learned that you don’t start a sentance with the word “but”.
Of course, I’m just some fuzzy headed liberal…what do I know?
Rufus said,
December 20, 2007 at 18:35
I think it’s impressive that Jonah did his best to construct full sentences and paragraphs, rather than just writing Nazi Nazi Nazi liberal Nazi Nazi Nazi liberal Nazi Nazi Nazi for 400 pages, even though it would have been easier and meant the same thing.
zadig said,
December 20, 2007 at 18:38
Nazis used guns. Therefore, gun control is inherently anti-fascist.
But American leftofascists want gun control. And they are, by definition, fascist.
Fascists are bad. Therefore anything fascists do is bad. Including wanting to limit random access to guns.
So conservatarians should want guns. But Nazis wanted guns. And Nazis were fascists. So gun control is inherently anti-fascist.
Does not compute. Does not compute. Err-or. Err-or. Must ste-ri-lize. zzzzt. Err-or. Err-or.
Trilateral Chairman said,
December 20, 2007 at 18:38
Gawd. Does Jona do anything *other* than affirm the consequent in this book?
Five of Diamonds said,
December 20, 2007 at 18:39
Fascists had leftist beliefs therefore leftists have fascist beliefs?
Nazis also liked to eat sausages. I like to eat sausages, therefore I am a Nazi.
tigrismus said,
December 20, 2007 at 18:40
Nazis: ate veggies, liked puppies, killed millions.
Liberals: eat veggies, like puppies.
Therefore liberals are just like Nazis, only slightly less brutal!
Caveat said,
December 20, 2007 at 18:42
Uh-oh. Everybody’s confusing animal rights with animal welfare again.
AR and especially Peta, loves Vick - they raised a lot of money supposedly to help but weren’t even involved in the case. Ditto HSUS. Guys like Vick are more fodder for the agenda of killing all the ‘pit bulls’ and ending pet ownership..
But I’m not going to get into that again…too serious.
Legalize said,
December 20, 2007 at 18:45
Oh dear. Did Nazis enjoy scotch? Beer? BASEBALL?!?! Please, anything but baseball! Wait a minute. I’m positive that I’ve seen Nazis in automobiles. I”VE got an automobile!
Pantload, you ignorant cunt.
Lesley said,
December 20, 2007 at 18:45
I’ve never ever ever heard an animal welfare group or “activist” mention Naziism in connection with animal welfare ever ever ever ever. If he’s going to say this shit where is the evidence for it?
Jesus Murphy, next he’s going to say that people who have bowel movements are closely aligned with naziism.
The NonSequitur » Blog Archive » Animal Rites said,
December 20, 2007 at 18:46
[...] document.write(”"); } )() Once again stealing from Sadly, No!, I offer you this tidbit from the amazing mind of Jonah Goldberg: I respond by again [...]
Marco said,
December 20, 2007 at 18:46
Six mentions of some form of Nazi in 3 sentences. Amazing writing, Jonah. You’re the Nicolas Sparks of conservative screeds.
Gundamhead said,
December 20, 2007 at 18:48
Well, looks like Jonah the Doughy-Stay-Puft-Fudge-Whale has once again demonstrated that the biggest load of all is between his ears. I really have no insult that can capture just how contemptuous I am of this guy. He’s either unbelievably rock-stupid or absolutely hateful towards his audience. Or both, maybe, I dunno.
His Grace said,
December 20, 2007 at 18:50
With the impression that the Nazis worst crimes wasn’t that they were mass murderers, or started unprovoked wars of agression, one wonders what would happen if teh pantload had been put in charge of allied propaganda during the war. Somehow, I think he’d come up with something like this…
(original here)
gbear playing hooky said,
December 20, 2007 at 18:50
So are the birdfeeders in my front and back yard the pantload equivalent of displaying a nazi or pre-nazi flag from my front porch? And weren’t my cat’s veteranarians already considered treasonous for being lesbian? Would I have been more of a patriot (or american or pure or where ever the hell his side stands) if I’d pulled my cat’s bad teeth with a pliers?
Does his disclaimer that he is not calling me fascist (despite the fact that fascists definitely if not maybe share some of the same beliefs as I and therefore I must if not may have a deep love of fascism in my heart of hearts) supposed to justify this dump of dumps from his brain of brains?
I realize that good art is supposed to present more questions to the viewer/reader than it answers, but this is not good.
Gary Ruppert said,
December 20, 2007 at 18:51
The fact is, you liberals do not get it. You are full of bias and hate, and you are fascists, we are not here in the Heartland, we just love freedom and USA, while you hate it, so you are fascists. You cannot argue with facts, and reasonsed discourse, like Goldberg has proffered, so you shout and call names, all liberals can do.
Righteous Bubba said,
December 20, 2007 at 18:54
I like that every law tradition and behaviour the Nazis didn’t eradicate is Nazified, liked walking upright or eating yummy pastries (take note Jonah!).
zsa said,
December 20, 2007 at 18:56
This is getting to be Pantload overload. It’s 10 gallons of shit in a 5 gallon pair of Dockers.
How can this guy be paid to write opinions for the LA Times? This would be embarrassing in an undergrad term paper. God’s sake, my 5th grader displays more logical consistency than Jonah.
We need to force the wingnuts to address this one way or the other … either they back away from it like a turd in the pasta bowl, or they support it and believe it. What they’re going to try and do is distance themselves without actually disavowing it … “while I don’t necessarily agree with everything he says, he does raise some good points about how everyone I disagree with is really a Nazi” … more made up crap to muddy the waters. We have to hold them to account for this. Maybe Jonah will get his ass canned from his cushy sinecure at the LA Times.
Grand Moff Texan said,
December 20, 2007 at 18:59
Didn’t SS training include killing your own German Shepherd?
.
Cassidy said,
December 20, 2007 at 18:59
Am I missing something, or is Jonah saying that today’s animal rights activists share some beliefs with some Germans before the fascists came to power in Germany, so, therefore, animal rights activists are just like Germans? Nazis? Kurt Weill? I give up.
Gary Ruppert said,
December 20, 2007 at 18:59
The fact is, you want no reasoned discourse, debate or dialog. You only want to eradicate all USA values from our society in pursuit of “a better world”, and you are wrong.
gbear said,
December 20, 2007 at 19:01
I guess the pantload never learned that you don’t start a sentance with the word “but”.
Of course, I’m just some fuzzy headed liberal…what do I know?
But of course, I’m just some fuzzy headed liberal…what do I know? Fixed.
J— said,
December 20, 2007 at 19:02
Is it possible to pin down what exactly he means by pre-Nazi Germany? I know we shouldn’t take this idiocy too seriously, but I have to admit I find fascinating the little bits of Goldber’s masterwork doled out here. Kind of like Tolstoy’s famous line about happy versus unhappy families: this wingnut’s unhappy argument is unhappy in its own, special way.
Johnny Coelacanth said,
December 20, 2007 at 19:02
“people who have bowel movements are closely aligned with naziism.”
Hey, I hear that most Nazis went to the bathroom at least once a day. I go to the bathroom once a day, ergo I’m a Nazi. Ipso fatso.
Arky - Fascitanata said,
December 20, 2007 at 19:02
Shorter Lœadedhösen: Real patriots skin kittehs with their teeth and stomp puppies barefoot.
Arky - Fascitanata said,
December 20, 2007 at 19:02
crap
ö
Jim/The Velvet Blog said,
December 20, 2007 at 19:03
Just curious–does a single paragraph of this book go by without something mind-spinningly stupid in it?
dBa said,
December 20, 2007 at 19:03
Sure Gary, fuck all that “to form a more perfect Union” bullshit. It’s just anti-American.
Gary Ruppert said,
December 20, 2007 at 19:05
The fact is, you are all wrong. About everything. You’ve been nailed, dead to rights, by logic, facts and Goldberg’s hard work in unearthing connections you would rather leave buried. We are on to you, liberals — we know you are ideological descendents of Nazis. And you, like Nazis, will try to eliminate the pure of heart from the Heartland. We will not let you. We will fight, and we will win, just like in WWII. Bring it.
Gary Ruppert said,
December 20, 2007 at 19:06
We do not need any union with terrorists, like the coastal eleites. They can die for all I care.
Clütch414 said,
December 20, 2007 at 19:07
“Nazis were well-known for their use of math. Army generals would use numbers to determine strategies.
Oddly enough, this ‘math’ is now being taught in high schools all over America, as part of the liberals’ plot of Nazi indoctrination.”
ZOMG!!! I have a degree in Math (cum laude)!!!
It all makes so much sense now…I do distinctly remember my Calculus professor goosestepping his way into class everyday.
Oh cruel fate…how could I have been so naive? *weeps*
Damn those devil numbers!!
whetstone said,
December 20, 2007 at 19:09
For the record, the first chapter of Simon Schama’s Landscape and Memory is an actually interesting treatment of the subject of Nazis, animals, and conservation. They were in fact ardent conservationists, for many of the same reasons they were racists and nationalists. The drama over their pursuit of Tacitus’s Germania is one of the weirdest chapters of 20th century history.
(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ahnenerbe#Failed_seizure_of_Tacitus.27_writings)
Righteous Bubba said,
December 20, 2007 at 19:09
Is it possible to pin down what exactly he means by pre-Nazi Germany?
Der Ring des Nibelungen.
Clütch414 said,
December 20, 2007 at 19:09
What in the name of Sweet Zombie Jesus is a “coastal eleites”?
“Eleites” sounds like some mystical race from the Elder Scrolls RPG serties.
Chuckles said,
December 20, 2007 at 19:10
Clif, I owe you a beer and a chili dog for that one.
stringonastick said,
December 20, 2007 at 19:11
“so he figured he’d disempower the word by overuse and inappropriate application.”
Actually it’s worse than that. The whole point here is to totally defang the word “fascism” because by the time he & his buddies complete their thousand year Reich, they don’t want that word to have any effect anymore; it will make their work that much easier if a universally-reviled word is no longer universally-reviled when it is correctly tossed at them.
gbear said,
December 20, 2007 at 19:12
RB, if fascists get to eat yummy pastries, then I’m signing up.
sophronia said,
December 20, 2007 at 19:12
You know what’s really sad? Jonah already got a respectful review from Publisher’s Weekly, pretending that there is actual thought in this book. The fix is in, everybody. In another week we will hear this pile of fetid garbage praised in the NYT and Washington Post, even though anyone with a room-temoerature IQ can see that it’s beyond ridiculous. Sometimes I really do hate America.
tigrismus said,
December 20, 2007 at 19:14
[liberals] are full of bias and hate …. [t]hey can die for all I care.
tee hee hee!
dBa said,
December 20, 2007 at 19:14
It does seem the Doh’boy is simply running interference for the imminent historical breakdown of the bush years. I’ll give him credit for that.
Cassidy said,
December 20, 2007 at 19:16
I’m not willing to get into the weeds on this, but from the paragraph quoted, I’m not sure that Jonah’s logic even rises to the level of assuming the consequent. He never actually says (nor does he quote hypothetical activists who say) that animal rights was in fact a big deal to the Nazis, just that it was an issue in pre-fascist Germany. The logic would appear to be: some B’s are Z; all C’s are Z; therefore all C’s are D’s. WTF?
Johnny Coelacanth said,
December 20, 2007 at 19:17
“Damn those devil numbers!!”
Exactly. Lest you forget, algebra (al-Jabr!!!) is an islamojihadifascisthomo plot to lure our children in Dhimmitude. Now that Jonah has shown the link between Nazis and math, it’s probably best to just teach our kids faith-based mathematics.
Righteous Bubba said,
December 20, 2007 at 19:17
RB, if fascists get to eat yummy pastries, then I’m signing up.
They totally do, plus they get to go to movies. I’m not sure if TV is fascist though, so that might be a problem.
zsa said,
December 20, 2007 at 19:18
sophronia, got a link to that? A respectful review of this crap is snark-worthy in it’s own right.
Gary, “We will fight, and we will win, just like in WWII. Bring it.” … roflcopter … the front is thataway.
J— said,
December 20, 2007 at 19:19
Der Ring des Nibelungen.
“Kill the wabbit, kill the wabbit, kill the wabbit!”
Goldberg probably wrote this book wearing his spear and magic helmet.
t4toby said,
December 20, 2007 at 19:21
I’ve decided that this whole book is just a fleshing out of Jonah’s favorite toilet time reading:
Lather, Rinse, Repeat
gbear said,
December 20, 2007 at 19:22
I’m not sure if TV is fascist though, so that might be a problem.
If not watching TV is fascist, I’ve already been one for 20 years.
Five of Diamonds said,
December 20, 2007 at 19:27
“We will not let you. We will fight, and we will win, just like in WWII. Bring it.”
Is there any wingnut out there that doesn’t lust for blood?
SamFrömmÜtah said,
December 20, 2007 at 19:31
it will make their work that much easier if a universally-reviled word is no longer universally-reviled when it is correctly tossed at them.
Possibly, but if that’s the intent, I don’t think he’s doing a very good job. He might help make “fascist” meaningless, but I think that’s already been accomplished - how many people really know what “fascism” means?
It might work out that a pack of bastards by any other name would smell like a big fat pantload.
histrogeek said,
December 20, 2007 at 19:32
To think that trees gave their lives for this book.
On the plus side, it is amazingly unlikely that it will end up anywhere but the remainder bin, followed by pulping into toliet paper. Doughy Pantload isn’t nearly nasty enough to reach the exalted realms of Coulter, O’Reilly, and company. To the ignorant eye, his writing looks suspicious thinky. And anyone with a brain will do all in their power to avoid it after reading the title.
Jay B. said,
December 20, 2007 at 19:34
Oh you’re kidding. Publisher’s Weekly?
We live in stupid times.
professor fate said,
December 20, 2007 at 19:35
lord this is really the Moby Dick of stupid, the Finnigan’s Wake of ignorant bigoted nitwit gibberish, the Illiad of narcsitic twitdom, the Crime and Punishment of nonsense.
Jay B. said,
December 20, 2007 at 19:35
To think that trees gave their lives for this book.
That sounds like something Himmler would say, fascist.
Legalize said,
December 20, 2007 at 19:36
“We will not let you. We will fight, and we will win, just like in WWII. Bring it.”
Yes Fake Gary/Saul/Kevin, whatever - if by “we” you mean “anyone other than” you.
pedestrian said,
December 20, 2007 at 19:36
Hey, I hear that most Nazis went to the bathroom at least once a day. I go to the bathroom once a day, ergo I’m a Nazi. Ipso fatso.
Well, it depends on what you are going to the bathroom for.
Righteous Bubba said,
December 20, 2007 at 19:38
Is anyone else worried that the Germans obviously haven’t given up Nazism?
zsa said,
December 20, 2007 at 19:39
From here
Liberal Fascism: The Secret History of the American Left from Mussolini to the Politics of Meaning
Jonah Goldberg. Doubleday, $27.95 (496p) ISBN 978-0-385-51184-1
In this provocative and well-researched book, Goldberg probes modern liberalism’s spooky origins in early 20th-century fascist politics. With chapter titles such as “Adolf Hitler: Man of the Left” and “Brave New Village: Hillary Clinton and the Meaning of Liberal Fascism”—Goldberg argues that fascism “has always” been “a phenomenon of the left.” This is Goldberg’s first book, and he wisely curbs his wry National Review style. Goldberg’s study of the conceptual overlap between fascism and ideas emanating from the environmental movement, Hollywood, the Democratic Party and what he calls other left-wing organs is shocking and hilarious. He lays low such lights of liberal history as Margaret Sanger, apparently a radical eugenicist, and JFK, whose cult of personality, according to Goldberg, reeks of fascist political theater. Much of this will be music to conservatives’ ears, but other readers may be stopped cold by the parallels Goldberg draws between Nazi Germany and the New Deal. The book’s tone suffers as it oscillates between revisionist historical analyses and the application of fascist themes to American popular culture; nonetheless, the controversial arc Goldberg draws from Mussolini to The Matrix is well-researched, seriously argued—and funny. (Jan. 8)
anythings.org » Blog Archive » LOL of the Day said,
December 20, 2007 at 19:39
[...] better: Nazis were animal rights activists, and therefore, Nazis weren’t bad [...]
fish said,
December 20, 2007 at 19:41
Perhaps we have this all wrong. Perhaps Jonah is making a case for Naziism.
dBa said,
December 20, 2007 at 19:43
“In this provocative and well-researched book, ”
Obviously, PW didn’t read it.
gbear said,
December 20, 2007 at 19:43
Zsa, I went over to Publisher’s Weekly and found the link to non-fiction reviews and then clicked on the top link, thinking that would be the most recent reviews. For some reason the top link goes to reviews from last April. I didn’t notice this at first. The first book review at the link I visited was this:
Revenge of the Donut Boys: True Stories of Lust, Fame, Survival and Multiple Personality
http://www.publishersweekly.com/article/CA6433438.html?industryid=47142
It would be an easy mistake for any one of us to think that was Jonah’s book.
dBa said,
December 20, 2007 at 19:44
“—and funny. ”
Or maybe they did.
MrWonderful said,
December 20, 2007 at 19:44
Five of Diamonds–
Oh, that’s just our troll. Don’t pay him no never-mind. He comes out every now and then, shows everyone his winkie, yells, “That fact is, I a big boy!” We give him a cookie and he runs back into his “fort.”
actor212 said,
December 20, 2007 at 19:47
Gary Ruppert said,
December 20, 2007 at 19:05
We will not let you. We will fight, and we will win, just like in WWII. Bring it.
Meet me on the ballfield in one hour. If I’m not there, start without me.
actor212 said,
December 20, 2007 at 19:49
Gary Ruppert said,
December 20, 2007 at 18:59
The fact is, you want no reasoned discourse, debate or dialog.
…says the guy who contributes nothing to this blog but his contumely, hatred, and limp-dicked wrongheaded observations.
Suck this, Gary. It’s all you’re good at.
MrWonderful said,
December 20, 2007 at 19:49
But seriously: why DON’T we write a book full of lies and inverted history? Coulter does, Doughboy just did–how hard can it be? You make a list of things you want people to believe, e.g.
1. Dick Cheney personally sold chemical weapons to Hitler.
2. George W. Bush murdered a Yale classmate as part of a frat hazing ritual.
3. Condi Rice is addicted to methamphetamines.
Etc., etc. Then you find “evidence,” which can be literally anything in print. You “interpret” it, hand-pack it in qualifiers (”arguably,” “it can be said,” “might not–?” etc.) and voila.
The problem, alas, is finding some think tank to pay for it. Where is Soros when we need him?
actor212 said,
December 20, 2007 at 19:51
Sorry, Tig. I have to make one small correction:
tigrismus said,
December 20, 2007 at 18:40
Nazis: ate veggies, liked puppies, killed millions.
Liberals: eat veggies, like puppies. Killed Vince Foster.
Therefore liberals are just like Nazis, only slightly less brutal!
actor212 said,
December 20, 2007 at 19:53
Gary Ruppert said,
December 20, 2007 at 18:51
The fact is, you liberals do not get it. You are full of bias and hate
Yes, but only for you, my dear.
Dan Someone said,
December 20, 2007 at 19:54
Gawd. Does Jona do anything *other* than affirm the consequent in this book?
Assuming that “affirming the consequent” is a euphemism for masturbation, then the answer is “no.”
Arky - Fascitanata said,
December 20, 2007 at 19:56
Höly fücking shit, you MUST be joking.
In the name of all that is good and beautiful could we please have a few day’s hiatus from Der LœdedHösen before you take us on a tour of the ninth and final ring of Stoopid?
And if that isn’t the final ring he must wind up by arguing that the Nazi’s were also deeply supportive of Jewish rights.
KaFaragGatri said,
December 20, 2007 at 20:02
my brain hurts…
Nimrod Gently said,
December 20, 2007 at 20:02
Animal rights activism isn’t even left-wing. It’s wingless. Extreme Noise Terror and Brigitte Bardot - one’s far left, one’s far right, they both have the same views on the whole meat thing.
jimmiraybob said,
December 20, 2007 at 20:03
It’s become painfully, really painfully, obvious that the Doughiness thinks that Liberal Fascism/Nazism is a dire problem capable of ending civilization once and for all. The question is, does he prescribe any solutions…final or otherwise? Or, does he leave the dirty work for the minions?
tigrismus said,
December 20, 2007 at 20:04
Speak for yourself, man; I didn’t kill Vince Foster.
Seanly said,
December 20, 2007 at 20:04
Thanks, you SOBs! Now I can never eat at a Wendy’s again.
btw, has Jonah said anything about his miserable book on the Corner?
Hoosier X said,
December 20, 2007 at 20:04
Gary,
Let’s have a go at this “reasoned discourse.”
(Which, to you, seems to mean 1. ignoring any facts or arguments presented by the other side; 2. speaking for the Heartland, which you don’t seem to know anything about; and 3. saying your opponents want to join with the “Islamofascists,” whoever they are.)
So Gary, you do believe the white male is the Jew of liberal fascism?
Discuss. With reason.
gbear said,
December 20, 2007 at 20:05
Liberal Fascism: The Secret History of the American Left from Mussolini to the Politics of Meaning
Jonah Goldberg. Doubleday, $27.95 (496p) ISBN 978-0-385-51184-1
Oh, and did we forget to mention that this is a well-researched book? And funny!
ugh.
Righteous Bubba said,
December 20, 2007 at 20:06
Speak for yourself, man; I didn’t kill Vince Foster.
Must it be pointed out that Nazis denied stuff?
Grand Moff Texan said,
December 20, 2007 at 20:09
I haven’t even gotten to the bits yet where Jonah says the Nazis were pro-gay-rights! That, my friends, is going to be something to behold.
Jonah doesn’t dare go there, ’cause when Ernst Röhm was given the heave-ho, the “socialist” in “national socialism” became an even bigger joke than Goldberg himself.
Hitler - “I love my dead, gay socialist!”
.
Dexceus said,
December 20, 2007 at 20:12
I have this theory. The dark side of the Force is Teh Stupid. Reading through all of this I feel a tremor in Teh Stupid. As if a million wingnuts all had a thought at once.
Brad R, said,
December 20, 2007 at 20:13
Arky- I’m not joking. Here’s a teaser, with my responses added in throughout (expect a full report later today):
Brad R, said,
December 20, 2007 at 20:15
Jonah doesn’t dare go there
Oh, he dares. And it’s worse than anything you’ve ever read. See above for a teaser.
Grand Moff Texan said,
December 20, 2007 at 20:20
it is also the case that the early Nazi Party and the constellation of Pan-German organizations in its orbit were rife with homosexuals
“Were”? Shitsuckfultudinous Gods, Jonah’s stupidity is so huge that it cannot be contained by time itself.
Try looking up “Night of the Long Knives,” you adipose IUD-failure.
.
Brad R, said,
December 20, 2007 at 20:21
GMT- he says also says that Rohm wasn’t purged for his gayness. I’m totally serious.
dBa said,
December 20, 2007 at 20:22
Nazi’s didn’t exterminate all teh Gay, Liberals embraced teh Gay, so Liberals are fascists?
Ugottabefuckinkiddinme.
Grand Moff Texan said,
December 20, 2007 at 20:22
I have this theory.
Lemmee guess.
Bunnies?
.
spencer said,
December 20, 2007 at 20:22
You know what’s really sad? Jonah already got a respectful review from Publisher’s Weekly, pretending that there is actual thought in this book.
Yeah, but don’t they give *everything* a positive review? I mean, isn’t that the whole point of their existence?
Dhalgren said,
December 20, 2007 at 20:23
Gary Ruppert isn’t real. I’m calling it as some simulacrum bullshit. Or some AI in some geek’s basement.
tigrismus said,
December 20, 2007 at 20:24
When you also consider my feelings towards veggies and puppies, it’s a fair cop, RB.
Brad, what’s his sourcing on that? Would anyone be surprised if it’s The Pink Swastika? (though he’d probably cite their citations…)
jeff said,
December 20, 2007 at 20:24
I’m really angry at Goldberg, and I expect ADL to come out with a statement. The trivialization of gay oppression and murder at the hands of the Nazis cannot stand. Over to you, Abe. I’m fucking serious!
jnfr said,
December 20, 2007 at 20:24
Once again, I must thank Righteous Bubba for yesterday’s link to the Greasemonkey script. My brain feels better already.
Brad R, said,
December 20, 2007 at 20:25
Tig- how’d you guess? That’s EXACTLY what this is sourced to! Again, I’ll have a full report up later!
Grand Moff Texan said,
December 20, 2007 at 20:25
GMT- he says also says that Rohm wasn’t purged for his gayness. I’m totally serious.
His gayness made him easier to kill, but the primary reason was Rohm’s commitment to revolutionary socialism (of which his out-of-control street thugs were a part).
So which is it? Dead for being gay, or dead for being socialist? Either way, it’s gonna fuck up Jonah’s rickety little “guilt by association with big words” wankery, ’cause now there’s a hole in his begats, queer or bolshy.
.
Brad R, said,
December 20, 2007 at 20:25
jeff- don’t hold your breath. The ADL under Foxman has become a sham.
Jay B. said,
December 20, 2007 at 20:26
You know what other organizations also have a lot of teh gay? The Musical Theater.
Seriously. It’s true.
Life is a Cabaret old chum. Come to the Cabaret
Which was based on a book written by a gay guy who lived in Weimar-era Germany. I think you know what that means.
Fats Durston said,
December 20, 2007 at 20:27
I finally figured out where Jonah’s doing all this good research: in my student’s papers! From three different Western Civ finals:
Yes, I realize this proves I am a failure as a teacher. And also a quasi-essential fascist, since I didn’t graduate from Brown, am male, and teach college kids.
Gundamhead said,
December 20, 2007 at 20:28
I really want to kick him in the balls as hard as I can. I’m not joking either.
gbear said,
December 20, 2007 at 20:29
Or some AI in some geek’s basement.
As an AL in real life, I resent that statement.
jeff said,
December 20, 2007 at 20:30
Bradrocket, I meant Abe Vagoda–not Foxman.
Dr. Loveless said,
December 20, 2007 at 20:31
I think it’s impressive that Jonah did his best to construct full sentences and paragraphs, rather than just writing Nazi Nazi Nazi liberal Nazi Nazi Nazi liberal Nazi Nazi Nazi for 400 pages, even though it would have been easier and meant the same thing.
That was the first draft. The second draft was 400 pages of “ALL WORK NO CHEETOS MAKES JONAH SOMETHING SOMETHING.”
actor212 said,
December 20, 2007 at 20:32
tigrismus said,
December 20, 2007 at 20:04
Speak for yourself, man; I didn’t kill Vince Foster.
Passing the buck is so fascist…
Righteous Bubba said,
December 20, 2007 at 20:32
I really want to kick him in the balls as hard as I can.
I promise to point and laugh.
actor212 said,
December 20, 2007 at 20:33
Dexceus said,
December 20, 2007 at 20:12
I have this theory. The dark side of the Force is Teh Stupid. Reading through all of this I feel a tremor in Teh Stupid. As if a million wingnuts all had a thought at once.
And here I thought I had indigestion.
anon said,
December 20, 2007 at 20:34
Yeah, the stupid hurts. However, having waded into way too many discussions on conservative blogs where one poster after another works Jonah’s talking points to death–and I’m talking well before the book was published–I’m kinda glad the book is out of the freeper ghetto and out there to be pounded down with real reviews, etc.
However, after burning way too many brain cells trying to convince freepers that the American left in the 30s was drastically more anti-Nazi than the American right, I’m pretty sure that the basic problem is the stupids. As in, just plain stupidness. You don’t need a graduate degree to know that Nazi socialism was about as socialist as compassionate conservatism is compassionate, but you do have to have some basic sense of history. Jonah couldn’t write his book if he knew anything about history because the basic thrust of it is just wrong. It’s like writing a book about Reagan’s secret commitment to communism or Roosevelt’s relationship to Rudolph Steiner–possible but possible as art, not history.
Anyway, the point is that there’s really no micro way of taking Jonah apart. You can point out that he’s wrong on every specific but freepers just aren’t going to listen. The only way out, IMO, is smarter freepers and, hey, that’s not going to happen. However, Jonah’s done us all a service by collecting all the crap arguments in one place. With any luck, real historians will make sure to knock down his arguments when they are writing text books and the next generation of semi-educated conservatives will have this stuff nipped in the bud instead of blooming like Jonah.
J— said,
December 20, 2007 at 20:45
Wow, good luck with those, Fats Durston. I especially like the capitalization of the adjective great. It is a Good Thing.
Arky - Fascitanata said,
December 20, 2007 at 20:48
Thanks Brad, it isn’t hard to keep my resolve not to eat like a pig this season when I read shit like that.
The more I learn the more I find it impossible to believe that Der LœdedHösen is going to promote this piece of printed ass wipe in DC. I suspect he was hoping that because his appearance is scheduled so soon after the official release date, he’d be in and out before anyone had a chance to get good and mad.
Will the early warning result in untoward hijinks at the K Street Borders?
Inquiring minds will leave work early to find out!
MzNicky said,
December 20, 2007 at 21:02
I realize this proves I am a failure as a teacher.
Mr. Durston: No, your students’ appalling regurgitations prove nothing of the sort. As I overheard one of my journalism students say one day after I’d returned a batch of particularly unsettling exams: “Hey, no thing, baby! ‘D’ is for ‘diploma.’” I long ago quit weeping for the future of the country.
DJ Jazzy Jazeera said,
December 20, 2007 at 21:03
Hey, I hear that most Nazis went to the bathroom at least once a day. I go to the bathroom once a day, ergo I’m a Nazi. Ipso fatso.
I’m twice the Nazi you are. Oops
…make that three times.
DrDick said,
December 20, 2007 at 21:06
Careful there big guy. On diligent study I have come to the conclusion that reading Jonah kills brains cells and can lead to irreparable brain damage.
MzNicky said,
December 20, 2007 at 21:06
On a similar note, excerpts from Mr. DoughPants’s “book,” such as the one posted atop this thread, remind me of the sort of tripe college freshmen often try to get away with. Away with which college freshmen often try to get. I hope the Incredible sentence-smashing Hulk isn’t lurking today.
actor212 said,
December 20, 2007 at 21:13
Away with which college freshmen often try to get.
Customize your weapons better you can…
DJ Jazzy Jazeera said,
December 20, 2007 at 21:14
When will J D’oh be appearing on Book TV?
My TiVo awaits.
Hoosier X said,
December 20, 2007 at 21:15
Things I learned from college papers and exams when I was a teaching assistant:
The New Deal was Hoover’s idea.
The Zimmermann telegram was discovered wrapped around an ear of corn.
The death of Lila Lipscombe’s son was “suspicious” because it happened while Michael Moore was filming Fahrenheit 9/11. The writer said it was “rather convenient.”
Lesley said,
December 20, 2007 at 21:16
I don’t know if he realizes it or not, but Doughboy’s called virtually everyone in America part-Nazi.
If you’re kind to your pet, if you love dogs, if you’ve ever supported the Humane Society, the SPCA, or the United Way, you’re treading on thin ice.
If you eat organic produce, free range eggs, and brown rice, you’ve crossed the line.
If you happen to be a public school teacher, you’re part of the problem (or should I say…THE SOLUTION!)
If you’ve ever voted for the Democrats, you’re not just heading for Naziism, you’ve arrived, baby. And let that be a warning to the vast majority of Americans who’ve declared their frustration and disgust with corrupt and inept Republicans. Want to avoid being called a Nazi by Jonah? Join the Republican Party of George Bush today and all will be forgiven, no doubt.
I’m sure this will win Jonah lots of friends.
As for the book reviewers and critics who’ve given his thesis a thumbs up, I wager that none of them have actually read the book. Like lazy ass hosts of television shows who conduct five minute interviews with authors on book promoting tours, they’ve merely skimmed the book jacket. The Publisher’s Weekly review merely paraphrases the description on Amazon, which was written by Jonah himself. When the embarrassment hits the fan, maybe they’ll actually start reading the books they are paid to review instead of faking it.
Tom Wolfe, I feel sorry for you. I hope for your sake that you’ve developed Alzheimer’s or early dementia and can’t be held accountable for your endorsement of the biggest buffoon ever. Seriously man, is Jonah blackmailing you, because you may as well have slapped on a sandwich board with I AM THE VILLAGE IDIOT stamped all over it.
Zandar said,
December 20, 2007 at 21:29
All I gotta say is this:
When do I get to play “Liberal Fascists: The Nazificationing” on my Xbox 360? Cause I totally got dibs on Jonah and his Cheeto Launcher as he fights his way through hordes of Nazivegannymphoislamahomofascist grade school teachers from Swarthmore on level 12.
Hoosier X said,
December 20, 2007 at 21:29
In defense of the guy who made that statement about the Zimmermann telegram and the ear of corn, he actually described the contents of the telegram very well.
But “found wrapped around an ear of corn,” while funny, is not an acceptable substitute for “intercepted by British intelligence and passed on to the American government.” Not even at the diploma factory where I was teaching.
Doug Watts said,
December 20, 2007 at 21:29
Hmm … let’s turn this thing on …. here we go:
U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt was a famous conservationist.
Therefore …
___________________________.
ahhh ….
FlipYrWhig said,
December 20, 2007 at 21:36
MsNicky, you taught Brian Williams?
Incontinentia Buttocks said,
December 20, 2007 at 21:48
His gayness made him easier to kill, but the primary reason was Rohm’s commitment to revolutionary socialism (of which his out-of-control street thugs were a part).
So which is it? Dead for being gay, or dead for being socialist? Either way, it’s gonna fuck up Jonah’s rickety little “guilt by association with big words” wankery, ’cause now there’s a hole in his begats, queer or bolshy.
Oooh….oooh….let me try this one!
In his gayness and socialismness, Ernst Röhm was typical of Nazis and liberals. But just as liberals kill their own (e.g. Vince Foster), so did the Nazis. So the Night of the Long Knives was just typical liberal fascism-on-liberal fascism violence.
Do I win a pack of Cheetos?
Smut Clyde said,
December 20, 2007 at 21:52
Grand Moff Texan said,
Didn’t SS training include killing your own German Shepherd?
Leon Uris made up a lot of stuff.
You’ve been nailed, dead to rights, by logic, facts and Goldberg’s hard work
Oh noes! Gary has crucified us!
t4toby said,
December 20, 2007 at 21:56
What ever happened to Kevin?
Hoosier X said,
December 20, 2007 at 22:09
Does Master Shake ever use JIMMY OLSEN #86 (July 1965) as a source?
Jimmy goes back in time to 1944 and becomes a Nazi officer.
Jimmy Olsen is a journalist! By being a journalist, he is part of the Liberal Media(TM)!
Therefore, all journalists are literally Nazis!
(And hence, liberals are fascists! Again! Over and over! It’s like Six Degrees of Fascist Kevin Bacon.)
dBa said,
December 20, 2007 at 22:10
Nazivegannymphoislamahomofascistexpialidocious.
Upgraded.
Lesley said,
December 20, 2007 at 22:10
btw, the Pippi Longstocking pigtails on Jonah may lead some to think Jonah is a feminazi. Pippi is the daughter of seafarer Efraim Longstocking, captain of the sailing ship Hoptoad (Hoppetossa in Swedish), from whom Pippi inherited her common sense and incredible strength, being the only person known who can match Pippi in physical ability. Captain Longstocking originally bought Villa Villekulla to give his daughter a more stable home life than that on shipboard (though Pippi loves the seafaring life, and is indeed a better sailor and helmswoman than most of her father’s crew). Pippi retired to the Villa after her father was believed lost at sea, determined that her father was still alive and would come to look for her there.
She lived alone with her horse and monkey and snubbed stupid adults (like Jonah) at every opportunity.
For Godwin and Country | Popehat said,
December 20, 2007 at 22:31
[...] were correct. Read their discussions of excerpts of the book, they are jaw-dropping and hilarious. It was this one today that demonstrated to me that Goldberg’s logic is indeed just as puerile as my satire of it [...]
Ferd said,
December 20, 2007 at 22:33
Analytical diarrhea
Soft, formless, unable to hold any shape. Lying on the pages, slowly dribbling off.
Jonah’s work is definitiely an anal product.
The projectile liquid poo that is being called deep thought by this man is truely vile. If a person is actually serious, and this book is not an exercise in farce, then Jonah needs to get out into the real world.
I recommend six months off-line, in Europe, living in youth hostels and other cheap accomodations - talking with people from around the world. Out from the American echo-chamber that is life in Washington / New York.
zsa said,
December 20, 2007 at 22:33
BTW, the “feedback” link for the Publishers Weekly review that calls the Pantloadicon “well-researched” and “seriously argued” is here.
They might enjoy feedback …
Smut Clyde said,
December 20, 2007 at 22:38
Would anyone be surprised if it’s The Pink Swastika?
Courtesy of Rutland Weekend Television, I bring you The Return of the Pink Panzer. Also available on YouTube.
Kathleen said,
December 20, 2007 at 22:55
that PW blurb sounds very suspiciously similar to the Amazon blurb here here.
Syndicalist said,
December 20, 2007 at 22:58
But zsa that’s the mind-blowing thing about it– this book IS seriously argued. Disastrously stupid, yes, but not a joke on the author’s part. That’s part of what makes it the printed word’s answer to nitrous oxide.
piotr said,
December 20, 2007 at 23:09
The immortal words from sadly inactive fafblog.com are as applicable as ever:
“It sure was a long way till the end of the world,” says me.
“The way was guarded by lions and chimeras and manticores and logicians and other ferocious beasts,” says Giblets.
“Fortunately we are impervious to logic,” says me.
“Modus ponens has no hold on Giblets!” says Giblets. “He swats antecedents like flies!”
MzNicky said,
December 20, 2007 at 23:21
MsNicky, you taught Brian Williams?
Har har!
PS — I may be old, but I’m not THAT old.
MzNicky said,
December 20, 2007 at 23:35
Silly Lesley! That’s not a Pippi Longstocking head DoughBob’s wearing. it’s a Wendy’s® Old-Fashioned Hamburgers® head, representative icon of the Fascist® enterprise founded and operated by the late well-known philanthropist/Fascist® Dave Thomas.
Liberal Fascism: Two Words Next to Each Other | Acephalous said,
December 20, 2007 at 23:40
[...] Repeat after me: “Real scholars do their own research. Real scholars do their own research.” Since I was genuinely interested in what someone else had to say about Spencer, I responded to Goldberg’s plea. (Why not aid a fellow Jew maintain the illusion of integrity?) He told me what he thought Spencer was up to. I informed him (politely) he couldn’t be more wrong. [...]
Candy said,
December 21, 2007 at 0:15
I wonder how Atlas Pam likes Jonah’s Tome? Has she weighed in yet?
And no, I don’t want to go to her site and research this myself. I’m a chickenhawk when it comes to the wingnut wars. Sadly No fights them over there etc etc . . .
actor212 said,
December 21, 2007 at 0:21
Candy,
Pam never reads anything heavier than her tits. It unbalances her. Physically, I mean.
Candy said,
December 21, 2007 at 0:32
Well, she could read it lying down . . . nah, I guess that wouldn’t work, as the meth in her system won’t allow her to lie down for more than ten minutes at a time.
Lesley said,
December 21, 2007 at 0:37
MzNicky, being a nazimushroomveggieburgereater I lack awareness of fast food hairdo signage and logos.
Element 5 said,
December 21, 2007 at 0:42
You know, I can’t help but think that in some way, this book is *our* fault. We all knew that Jonah wasn’t really working on a book, but we kept taunting him about it, noting that it was 1, 2, 3, then 4 years behind schedule, the title kept changing and he seemed to have other priorities (like, I dunno….doughnut eating?).
Anyway, we pretty much forced him to come up with a book, so it’s not really his fault that it’s so crazy and ………..well, ok, so it’s REALLY crazy (Nazis have nervous systems and Liberals have nervous systems, so Liberals are Nazis…), but we kept on pushing him, kept teasing him, I mean, face it, he was EMBARRASSED into writing this embarrassment, and it’s pretty much because of us. I know that feeling pity for him makes me a Nazi and all, but, well…..you get the point.
It’s easy for us to laugh but he’s going to have to live with this book on his resume for the rest of his sad life. I’ll bet even his Mom is thinking that a pillow placed over his face while he’s sleeping would spare him from the laughing eyes that will follow him for the remains of his tragic existence.
We just had to push him, didn’t we? I feel so damned ashamed.
Arky - Fascitanata said,
December 21, 2007 at 0:53
Better crucified than nailed. Yech.
John said,
December 21, 2007 at 1:08
So we’ve established that a) Jonah has no idea what “the left” means in a historical context (hint: it has absolutely nothing to do with animal rights); and b) he has no idea what “fascism” means. Well done!
sarah said,
December 21, 2007 at 2:06
dudes! i’ve just discovered that jonah’s doing research for the second edition on that prestigious big-boy site yahoo answers! this is awesome!
WereBear said,
December 21, 2007 at 2:12
I loved the use of the word “oscillates” in the Publisher’s Weekly review. Were they trying to say “spin” without saying it?
Tribe said,
December 21, 2007 at 2:26
I’m quite certain that we could start a whole new branch of mathematics revolving around the logic (anti-logic) that Pantload is using in this book. Think of it…Noble Prizes and Fields Medals for years to come. It could be the greatest achievement of the Liberal Fascist Movement. That and the inevitable banning of all Cheeto’s sales.
tigrismus said,
December 21, 2007 at 2:41
Here’s part of a comment from Sarah’s link: “In some terms facism respects human rights more than democracy…”
Do tell!
Lesley said,
December 21, 2007 at 2:56
dudes! i’ve just discovered that jonah’s doing research for the second edition on that prestigious big-boy site yahoo answers! this is awesome!
The commenters provide wonderful entertainment at that link, like this gal whose footnote reads: Source(s): Wife of a US Marine for seven years, Bush voter, and educated woman…
This commenter:
has missed the central u-can’t-has-cheezeburger point of Jonah’s thesis.
gbear said,
December 21, 2007 at 3:00
MzNicky said,
Silly Lesley! That’s not a Pippi Longstocking head DoughBob’s wearing. it’s a Wendy’s® Old-Fashioned Hamburgers® head
Silly MzNicky, it’s actually John Bolton’s moustache.
Lesley said,
December 21, 2007 at 3:20
throw that head in a bun you have a Jonah Goldburger!
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
December 21, 2007 at 3:21
Among the many treats of my move to Columbus, Ohio, was a visit to the Original Wendy’s.
She wasn’t working there that day.
P.S. Original Wendy’s is gone now.
The original Wendy’s will close its doors forever on March 2.
Geoff the annoying Canuck said,
December 21, 2007 at 3:25
kindness said,
December 20, 2007 at 18:33
I guess the pantload never learned that you don’t start a sentance with the word “but”.
Of course, I’m just some fuzzy headed liberal…what do I know?
______________________________________
Hey hey dude! I have no doubt you were taught that by some competent teacher of “English Composition” in seventh or eighth grade. Which clearly Jonah never had.
I have no doubt that she was well read and university educated, which means that, and then it must follow as the night the day, she was, in fact, a liberal fascist.
Need further proof beyond her giving out arbitrary rules? I would be willing to wager that she would have been very, very disturbed had she learned that one of her students were into torturing or killing defenseless animals.
Clearly, a liberal fascist.
Patkin said,
December 21, 2007 at 4:01
“Hey, no thing, baby! ‘D’ is for ‘diploma.’”
It’s wrong that I find this so inherently funny, but it’s just so needlessly hopeful and optimistic. I would almost feel terrible crushing that idiot’s spirit.
Michael Blaine said,
December 21, 2007 at 4:04
Goldberg pepetrates this inanity, and last week the US Congress effectively proclaims Jesus Christ to be our national savior!
Read the details at:
‘Minnesota’s Own Version of “Verjudung,” or How Somali Refugees Threaten Christmas In The Upper Midwest’
at:
“Rudely Stamped,” http://www.rudelystamped.blogspot.com
Michael Blaine
http://www.rudelystamped.blogspot.com
bago said,
December 21, 2007 at 4:41
Someone needs to turn this book into a series of Jeff Foxworthy style jokes.
If you think that you shouldn’t abuse dogs…. You might be a Nazi.
If you tend to eat mostly plants… You might be a Nazi.
If you believe that smoking is harmful to your health… you might be a Nazi.
If you think you should get paid overtime… you might be a Fascist.
If you think that white guys are the new Jews, you might be a fascist.
etc.. I know you can come up with more…
Arky - Fascistianata said,
December 21, 2007 at 4:48
If you think the KKK is a bunch of fascists … you might be a fascist.
MzNicky said,
December 21, 2007 at 4:58
Leslie: I am a veggiefeminazianimalwelfaristfascist my own self, yet where I live there is no way to avoid the ubiquitous fast-food iconography, not to mention the nauseating seared-contaminated-flesh stench that emanates from their greasy putrid eyesore storefronts. How do you avoid it? I would love to know.
Lesley said,
December 21, 2007 at 5:18
I live in Canada! Of course there are hundreds of McDonald’s “restaurants” but other chains - like Burger King, Dairy Queen, A&W, and Wendy’s - are few and far between. I’ve only seen one Wendy’s in my city and that one I pass on the road maybe three times a year.
Lesley said,
December 21, 2007 at 5:39
Here’s the Jonah Goldburger - Jumbo size. It’s hard to get the face to look like part of the burger so it’s not a great effort.
emm said,
December 21, 2007 at 5:41
Bradrocket, my blogcrush on you continues to grow by leaps and bounds. Work it!!
gbear said,
December 21, 2007 at 5:43
‘D’ is for ‘diploma’.
So do they also say ‘C’ is for ‘Carma’?
gbear said,
December 21, 2007 at 5:46
Lesley, I personally could not exist in a world without Dairy Queens.
g said,
December 21, 2007 at 5:52
I have a rather sick and unhealthy liking for Arby’s [sob - don't hate me].
Lesley said,
December 21, 2007 at 6:01
I have an unhealthy addiction to Starbucks peppermint mocha frappucino’s, Vicky’s potato chips, and Ben and Jerry’s half baked ice cream, but I prefer my (veggie) burgers and fries homemade.
JR said,
December 21, 2007 at 6:12
You know what else liberals and nazis liked? Breathing! And blinking! I even heard that for a few hours each day both would lie dormant in their beds in an unconsciously fascist stupor!
SEK said,
December 21, 2007 at 6:22
Oh Michael Blaine, I thought you were mine own. I mean, when you whispered those same sweet nothings in my ear, I thought it meant we were meant for each other. To see you write the same thing here makes me think you didn’t mean it … and that stings, dude, it stings to the bone.
gbear said,
December 21, 2007 at 6:34
SEK, it’s even worst than you thought. He whispered them in the thread above this one too. The cad is playing with the affections of multiple partners in the same household. I even responded to him up there. I feel so cheap. ::sob::
gbear said,
December 21, 2007 at 6:37
Oops. Two threads above.
Strangefate said,
December 21, 2007 at 7:47
Out of curiosity does Jonah actually define the word “fascist” at any point in his book? Because I’m having trouble figuring out exactly what fascism entails from these passages. Apparently a fascist is anyone who promotes a national policy of any kind…and yet one can also be individually fascist by doing such things as exercising, eating vegetables, or criticizing Jonah Goldberg.
This book is wonderfully postmodern. The real thesis is “We are all of us Nazis.” Anything you do, no matter how seemingly innocuous, is in fact directly comparable to gassing thousands of Jews. The only people who aren’t modern day Nazis are apparently Jonah Goldberg, ‘compassionate’ conservatives (IE mythical creatures akin to unicorns), and skinheads/Klansmen.
BTW - Was Hitler sufficiently liberal to be a Nazi? I’m no longer certain…
porndog said,
December 21, 2007 at 7:52
You just might be a Nazi if…you didn’t eat any Cheetos in the past month.
g said,
December 21, 2007 at 8:33
The real thesis is “We are all of us Nazis.”
No no no no no. I have to correct this.
“The real thesis is “We are all of us Nazis except me [Jonah Goldberg]”
And his friends. And his mom.
El Cid said,
December 21, 2007 at 8:45
It’s cute to think there might be a thesis to Jo’berg’s scribblings.
zsa said,
December 21, 2007 at 8:49
Funny thing is, Strangefate, “fascism” is already a word! It’s already got, like, a definition and everything. Seriously, I looked it up.
So, yeah, kind of odd that Jonah saw fit to implicitly redefine it, apparently as a rough synonym for “government”, or perhaps for “government Jonah disagrees with”.
Smut Clyde said,
December 21, 2007 at 11:28
Funny thing is, Strangefate, “fascism” is already a word! It’s already got, like, a definition and everything
And there are people who spend the second half of the 1940s under the impression that they were fighting it! Some of them are my friends; some of them are my relatives in the old country.
Now some of the regular commentors on S,N! [the name of D. Sidhe comes to mind] have proposed that Mr Goldberg is not inherently an unmitigated chundernozzle scumbucket . They have suggested that perhaps he is just a weak-willed kid who is following the path of least resistance; and in an alternative universe where he was swapped at birth and grew up in a different environment, he could have grown up to fill some socially-beneficial, non-toxic niche, possibly involving the flipping of burgers. So I have tried to emulate D. Sidhe’s example of humanism and sympathy. But after the extracts from Goldberg’s book, this is not easy.
Smut Clyde said,
December 21, 2007 at 13:00
Um that sounds better as “first half of the 40’s”.
I’d been at the pub, OK?
Socraticsilence said,
December 22, 2007 at