Food is the core of any good trip to the heartland…

I guess they’re waiting for Isringhausen to come in from the bullpen…

December 16, 2007 at 20:14
People with vaginas.

Vajajays. Please.

We must respect Oprah’s wishes in all things, even presidential candidates.

Um, are these some the zillions of poisonous snakes your fair continent is somewhat famous for? And right in your backyard you say. Adds all sorts of new meaning to having a day playing in the garden.

There’s also terriers, who wholeheartedly endorse the ‘furry-tailed rat’ meme. And I knew someone who swore that a household ferret deterred squirrel infestations, but people who love ferrets can be a little crazy, much as I hate to edge close to agreeing with anything Rudy Guiliani ever said.

The neighbours down the road have a couple of pet ones. They seem to let them out on weekends, for alternate days… one gets to fly around the neighbourhood on Saturday, while the other one is kept inside as a hostage; then it’s the other one’s turn on Sunday. One often comes up here and perches in a tree outside the window, reporting back to its mate with a series of shrill squawks… in between sessions of taunting the cats.

Wow! I wants some Raibow Lorikeets too!

LOVETT:
It’s priest. Have a little priest.
TODD:
Is it really good?
LOVETT:
Sir, it’s too good, at least!
Then again, they don’t commit sins of the flesh,
So it’s pretty fresh.
TODD:
Awful lot of fat.
LOVETT:
Only where it sat.
TODD:
Haven’t you got poet, or something like that?
LOVETT:
No, y’see, the trouble with poet is
‘Ow do you know it’s deceased?
Try the priest!

Marginally more acceptable, I suppose. But I would worry about letting these nimrods get anywhere near any sort of vulnerable population. It’s obvious they lack empathy.

Me? I’d smite ‘em with Teh Green Walking Stick of Liberal Justice. Just because I’m poor and disabled doesn’t mean I’m nice or anything.

And if they started babbling any of that Christianist shit (like they do), then I’m afraid there would be LOBS of feline vomit being vomitpulted their way. Ganesh Bengal Cat thinks the skwerls won’t mind if he borrows the skwerlapult.

And at thinkgeek.com you can get a trebuchet!!!!ELEVENTY!! Do you know how many lobs of puke that sucker would propel? Up to 20 feet away??? So. Much. Awsum.

Some days I really love the internets. Well, except for the wingnut rape apologists. I wonder if those pus-sucking warthogs can even imagine saying anything non-heinous. I’m thinking prolly not.

On the house and with a smile.

I may end up working for the VA within the next year; not sure if the lead will pan out. Not very directly with patients, but I’d be happy to do my bit since we have and will, as you pointed out, be getting plenty of soldiers back here who need a lot of help.

Plus I’ve got birdies in my back garden too: not as exciting as you northerners, by and large, but still fun. There’s a bunch of sparrows, including a lot of young ‘uns, one with a game leg, so there’s thin mother birds and fat baby birds and all hella cute. There’s the pigeons, of course, and a piping shrike turned up today.

There’s always a few wattle birds hovering about – they come and perch on the chair right in front of me sometimes, and give me a very indignant stare. Looks like the equivalent of the bovver boy with hands in pockets saying “Whatchew lookin’ at, eh?”

But my favourites are the rainbow lorikeets. They’re about pigeon-sized, although longer and thinner, and they’re so raucous and silly. The sound reminds me a bit of a Hong Kong market: thousands of conversations going on at full pitch, arguing, gossiping, and chastising each other. Although most Hong Kong marketers don’t hang upside down like the lorikeets, bless their little feathery hearts.

And what’s odd is that, if you have a look at the pictures, you’d wonder why those brilliantly coloured little buggers don’t stand out like dogs’ balls in the grey-green Australian foliage. But they blend right in, somehow, and hang about in packs shrieking to each other happily while they suck nectar out of the grevilleas and suchlike.

Then there’s also rats in the back fence, and they sometimes creep out to feed. They’re quite cute, being clean and healthy and all, and they don’t trouble anyone else. But I’m expecting the arrival of brown snakes any day now, because the drought is driving them into town and the rodents would make a tasty snack.

Have they done anything to the old brewery? I always though it would make some pretty cool condos.

Thank you, Sam, for cheering me up again. I will attest that this kind of “shock training” can also work on non-Mormons. My least favorite brother, the Horse’s Ass, was assigned to a VA nursing home during his Coast Guard training. Mostly he was working with severely disabled WWII vets, now geriatric, who’d spent the preceding 30 years in one or another medical ward with nothing but other limbless/sightless/’shell shocked’ cripples for company, guys who’d outlived their families or who had no families before they’d been disabled. It actually inspired him to use Uncle Sam’s college funding to become a registered nurse. And while in his personal life he is still exactly the kind of angry, bitter, narrow-minded arsehole that subscribes to Floppy Aces and Little Green Snotwads, from the commendations & promotions he’s gotten, he’s actually a very good and caring RN…

(And it’s not like “we” aren’t making ourselves a fine new supply of permanently disabled veterans who will need compassionate care for the next 60 or 80 years, *sigh*.)

Gentlewoman, I fully appreciate that you don’t want these dillweeds anywhere near you, but maybe it’s not an issue to those who don’t understand the words coming out of their dillweed mouths? Kids in Iraqi orphanages, for instance, or the pitiful Agent Orange no-longer-babies in Vietnam, or even animal shelters right here in the U.S. One of my dear friends worked with a program teaching convicts to train and/or groom dogs, using shelter dogs. She said it was amazing how guys just this side of Hannibal Lector were not only gentle and caring with the dogs, but sometimese managed to “re-model” their own behavior by figuring out, for instance, that other humans might also prefer calm voices & positive reinforcement over the yelling, threats, and hitting which had gotten them into the correctional system in the first place.

MileHi – Heck, I’m right across the river from your siblings. When I used to trap squirrels I’d release them in the Lilydale park, and everyone from Lilydale would release their squirrels in Crosby park. I’m just a block from the old Schmidt Beer brewery.