Dec
15

Meow-Meowing The Flab-Catchers II: Electric Boogaloo




Posted at 0:26 by Gavin M.

Let’s see what new silliness Glenn Reynolds is promoting today.

OBESITY AND POLITICS — but the best line is from the comments: “They are going to take potato chips from us for the common good.”

Why, it’s a link to Ann Althouse. There must be some thoughtful thinking going on over there — thinking that not at all resembles the unprocessed resentments of a solipsistic crazy person.

“If we went back to the obesity rates that existed in 1980, that would save the Medicare system a trillion dollars.”

Said Barack Obama at today’s Democratic debate. That sounds absurd to me. But let me be fair. He prefaced that assertion with the phrase “it’s estimated.” Oh, estimated. Well, then. He wants to “emphasize how important prevention and cost savings can be.” I get it. The plan is to get the government to pay for all sorts of routine health care for everyone, and we’re supposed to think it will actually save money. But the truth is that going to the doctor more is not going to solve our fatness problem. If it did, we’d be paying now for the treatment (not that we wouldn’t like the government to reimburse us). The false hope of a solution to obesity and a promise of illusory savings is being used to soften us up for massive spending on health care. I’m estimating.

altspiral.gif

Above: Althouse

In other words, it’s futile to subsidize preventive health care, because if it actually prevented illness or saved money, then everybody would already be paying for it, and if you italicize words archly, it’s okay not to have any facts at your disposal. Moreover, there’s a willful conspiracy afoot to make us spend massive money on health care, beginning by instilling false hope in fat people.

Well, that’s certainly one possible interpretation of things. Here’s Glenn again:

Plus, a solution: “Maybe all those fat people should start smoking again.” Hmm. Smoking goes down, obesity goes up. I wonder if this is another unintended consequence of government action . . . .
posted at 07:02 AM by Glenn Reynolds

Whoah, blowback. Then again, as Glenn showed us yesterday, “it is simply a myth to believe that only interventionism yields unintended consequence, since doing nothing at all may produce the same unexpected results. If American foreign health policy had followed a course of strict non-interventionism, America would certainly be different from what it is today; but there is no obvious reason to think that it would have been better.”

…There are times at which it almost seems as though Reynolds is a slippery and arrogant character driven by crankish enthusiasms.

135 Comments »

  1. Thers said,

    December 15, 2007 at 0:36

    Some repetition up there — no double Althouse pleeez!

  2. Gavin M. said,

    December 15, 2007 at 0:40

    I’m working on it, jeesh…

  3. dBa said,

    December 15, 2007 at 0:41

    Seeing double, do not want.

  4. Kathleen said,

    December 15, 2007 at 0:41

    No, Gav! the doubled AA bit is so meta. I love it!

  5. Thers said,

    December 15, 2007 at 0:44

    Hee hee.

    My favorite comment from that thread is not Glenn Reynolds’. It is this one:

    “Does anyone really make a voting decision based on any candidate’s health care policy platform?”

    Which says a lot about the people who look to Ann Althouse for informed political commentary.

  6. Doctorb Science said,

    December 15, 2007 at 0:45

    Time and again, economists have demonstrated* that if you let people go to the doctor for free, they will go all the time, wasting lots of money. Think about it — if you got to sit for an hour in a hot, dry waiting room full of phlegm-spewing children and then sit for a half an hour in a chilly room wearing only a paper gown and then some stranger looks at you FOR FREE you would probably do that at least three times a week, maybe more. And “routine colonoscopy”? more like DAILY COLONOSCOPY, am I right? What better way to start the day than with a 45-minute wait to have a needle jammed in your arm and a couple ounces of blood sucked out?

    *By “demonstrated”, of course, I mean “asserted”.

  7. dBa said,

    December 15, 2007 at 0:46

    When Althouse decries Obama using the word estimated, I observe that pre-war estimations were roundly cheered.

  8. Jay B. said,

    December 15, 2007 at 0:58

    The plan is to get the government to pay for all sorts of routine health care for everyone, and we’re supposed to think it will actually save money. But the truth is that going to the doctor more is not going to solve our fatness problem.

    Um…What? She’s right, the first part of that IS the plan. Government health care in places like, say, England, is cheaper — about 60% cheaper to provide, per capita, compared to the US mess. The second part, however, doesn’t seem to have any real connection to what Obama is saying.

    Here’s Obama from his website: Too little is spent on prevention and public health. The nation faces epidemics of obesity and chronic diseases as well as new threats of pandemic flu and bioterrorism. Yet, despite all of this, less than four cents of every health care dollar is spent on prevention and public health.

    So when he’s saying “If we went back to the obesity rates that existed in 1980, that would save the Medicare system a trillion dollars.” he’s saying that if we had simply concentrated on prevention and public health a little more — we MIGHT NOT BE A NATION OF FATTIES, and we would have saved money to boot. He’s not saying that installing universal health care will make Ann Althouse thin again. That would just be a cruel promise to make.

  9. mikey said,

    December 15, 2007 at 0:59

    Dammit. I just KNEW the Althouse squared was a REALLY clever thing, and I only had to think about it just a little harder to get it.

    I would have happily assumed that Gavin was cool and it was only my own shortcomings that prevented me from being at least half as cool.

    Now it turns out I’m even LESS cool than I thought.

    And so is Gavin…

    mikey

  10. Anne Laurie said,

    December 15, 2007 at 0:59

    Uh, Doctor… I believe that “colonoscopy” thing actually involves taking strong laxatives & then having a camera jammed up one’s rectum. Even people who really hate & fear needles probably find them less obtrusive than colonoscopies….

    Unless you have reached a level of meta-sarcasm which I simply failed to grasp. In which case, carry on!

  11. Malignant Bouffant, packing a few extra lbs. himself, said,

    December 15, 2007 at 1:00

    Read it somewhere (Unless I heard it on the tube or radio — info overload!!):
    “First culture/civilization to die of overeating rather than starvation.”

    Not that I’ve ever seen The Divine Althouse in person (I can only hope) but in her photos she doesn’t exactly look underfed. Is boxed wine more bloating?

  12. Kathleen said,

    December 15, 2007 at 1:02

    Thers said,
    December 15, 2007 at 0:44
    “Does anyone really make a voting decision based on any candidate’s health care policy platform?”

    Which says a lot about the people who look to Ann Althouse for informed political commentary.

    exactly. Like deciding based on if the loser wanted to return to his peanut farm.

  13. fardels bear said,

    December 15, 2007 at 1:12

    If I read Obama correctly, he’s saying that if I elect him president, I’ll have the 31 inch waist I had in the 1980s. He’s got my vote!

  14. Amlodhi said,

    December 15, 2007 at 1:14

    I’m pretty sure I banned Althouse from the web. I decreed it in her comment section. Now I see that she has decided to start following me around the t00bz, which I consider stalking. There are laws against this type of behavior.

  15. Renault House said,

    December 15, 2007 at 1:15

    I knew you guys were talking about me!

  16. MileHi Hawkeye said,

    December 15, 2007 at 1:17

    Anne Laurie–

    You are absolutely, positively correct in your colonoscopy beliefs–especially when the needle is attached to a plunger full of opiate or opiate based liquid. I say this as one who hates both needles and fasting for several days, consuming putrid cleaning agents and having a camera shoved in places it shouldn’t be.

    Sometimes, the colonoscopy also involves the cutting away of polyps (what I like to call little republicans) from the intestinal lining. Now that’s I call good clean fun!

  17. Doctorb Science said,

    December 15, 2007 at 1:19

    Dang it, there was supposed to be an “and” there.

    “… more like DAILY COLONOSCOPY, am I right? And what better way to start the day than with a 45-minute wait to have a needle jammed in your arm and a couple ounces of blood sucked out?” Just sort of riffing on how people really like going to the doctor and would probably do it a lot more if it didn’t cost so much (like people with private insurance do, naturally).

    But yeah, one time I reached a level of meta-sarcasm that was so sarcastic I became completely sincere.

    No, really.

  18. Five of Diamonds said,

    December 15, 2007 at 1:20

    “The false hope of a solution to obesity and a promise of illusory savings is being used to soften us up for massive spending on health care.”

    Wha? Who?

    Every doctor I know tells me that preventative medicine, including weight control, places less strain in the medical system.

    There is nothing controversial about Obama’s statement. Is the fear of universal healthcare so bed-wettingly frightful that Althouse thinks obesity is good for healthcare? Next article: “Aspirin leads to communisocialized medicine where scalpels are replaced with flat-head screwdrivers.”

    F*cking baffoon.

  19. Gary Ruppert said,

    December 15, 2007 at 1:20

    The fact is, I’d hit it.

  20. inkadu said,

    December 15, 2007 at 1:23

    I finally have health-insurance. I schedule appointments all the time, but I never sit in the room or am examined by a doctor. I just sign in, and take the a “People” magazine out of the waiting room.

    I haven’t bought my own magazines in over 2 months.

  21. Gary Ruppert's Uncle said,

    December 15, 2007 at 1:24

    I’d watch you hit it, Gary.

  22. cleter said,

    December 15, 2007 at 1:24

    If we went back to the cardiac care that existed in 1980, Dick Cheney would be asleep in the arms of Satan. That would save us about a trillion dollars…assuming a war with Iran only costs a trillion dollars

  23. inkadu said,

    December 15, 2007 at 1:26

    So is Obama going to cut corn subsidies to encourage bad-for-you-foods to be more expensive and therefore less desirable?

    Didn’t think so.

    But he may force everyone to carry a head of broccoliflower on their belts to show their devotion to the muslim vegan cause!

  24. Karl Marx said,

    December 15, 2007 at 1:27

    Religion is the colonoscopy of the masses
    Religion is the prostate examination of the masses
    Religion is the creatinine test of the masses
    Religion is the opiate of the masses.
    Buggrit, that will have to do.

  25. Ann Althouse said,

    December 15, 2007 at 1:31

    I have approximately 30,000 thoughts per day. I’m estimating.

  26. Simba B said,

    December 15, 2007 at 1:33

    Oh my gawd. Look at her picture on her site. Look at the…color…the…agghh.

    *head explodes*

  27. SamFromUtah said,

    December 15, 2007 at 1:40

    But he may force everyone to carry a head of broccoliflower on their belts…

    If he does, he’ll force the price down to five bees per head. The man’s not a total monster.

  28. kenga said,

    December 15, 2007 at 1:41

    Uh, Doctor… I believe that “colonoscopy” thing actually involves taking strong laxatives & then having a camera jammed up one’s rectum.

    I didn’t think Sean Penn went to medical school … or maybe he did the back-alley colonoscopies, sans laxative.
    I imagine people are less reticent about the procedure since the digital camera overtook the SLR in popularity.

  29. Syndicalist said,

    December 15, 2007 at 1:42

    Oh how I miss those Mao-mao debates of yore, Gavin. Let’s just say I’m a Pulp Fiction fan.

  30. Ann Althouse said,

    December 15, 2007 at 1:51

    I would never comment on this stupid blog! Losers!

  31. Nim, ham hock of liberty said,

    December 15, 2007 at 1:56

    “I would never comment on this stupid blog! Losers!

    It’s spelled “loosers!!!” Ann. Please be more careful in the future.

  32. inkadu said,

    December 15, 2007 at 2:00

    If he does, he’ll force the price down to five bees per head. The man’s not a total monster.

    He’ll like raise taxes on broccaflower by three bees, then subsidize by five bees, taking two bees out of protecting our borders.

    It goes without saying, of course, that Obama will move us from the dollar-system to a bee-based economy.

  33. mikey said,

    December 15, 2007 at 2:04

    Meanwhile, Back in Washington (via TPM):

    Muckstorm Warning

    It’s another late Friday afternoon deluge of bad news and misdeeds.

    Senate Republicans successfully maneuver to block the House-passed anti-torture bill.

    The Attorney General refuses to provide the Senate with information on the CIA torture tapes and tells the CIA not to cooperate with the House investigation of the tapes.

    Meanwhile, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid will allow telecom immunity to come up for a floor vote.

    Another good day for democracy.

    –David Kur

    I’m getting genuinely angry.

    And folks? You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry…

    mikey

  34. SamFromUtah said,

    December 15, 2007 at 2:04

    Obama will move us from the dollar-system to a bee-based economy.

    Oh, heh – I thought the brocoflower on the belt was a reference to Abraham Simpson’s meandering story (“So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry costs a nickel, and in those days nickels had pictures of bumblebees on them. ‘Give me five bees for a quarter,’ you’d say.”)

  35. dBa said,

    December 15, 2007 at 2:09

    I think I saw a zen post.

  36. Ann Althouse said,

    December 15, 2007 at 2:12

    Gavin, if that is your real name, I, Ann Althouse, demand you, who are not Ann Althouse, tho I, Ann Althouse, am Ann Althouse, remove the above comment calling me a fatty fatty fatfatfat fattie pants mcfatso with a side helping of fatass. I, Ann Althouse, am not fat, just big boned. Now respect the authoritah of me, Ann Althouse, and remove the comment, which you, who are not me, Ann Althouse, probably wrote yourself on this confusing and messy interwebsite.
    Furthermore, sammich sammich mcsammichysammich.
    Signed,
    Ann Althouse, who is Ann Althouse

  37. inkadu said,

    December 15, 2007 at 2:14

    I was actually referencing Grampa Simpsons, but forgot everything after the onion-on-the-belt (which was the style at the time).

    Mikey — It’s been interesting the past few days as the crushing realization of the complete pansification of the Democratic party is hitting home to the progressive wing. Even the stalwart Democratic Party boosters are starting to flag. People are saying, “Occam’s razor: The Democrats are complicit.” I wonder if anything’s actually really changed, or if we are justifiably let down.

    I mean to say, was there any reason to think that the Dems weren’t a bunch of pansies? There are a few quotes here and there — “subpoena power” perhaps being the most promising — but over all the Dem’s didn’t attack 2006 with an ‘agenda.’ I think the progressives quickly tried to tell everybody what the victory was about — because they should know, they’d just been knocking on doors for three solid months and phone banking — but actual candidates stepping up to the plate on civil rights, torture, or the Iraq war were actually pretty slim. We didn’t really elect progressives. For the most part, we elected Not Repbulicans.

    But forget everything I just wrote — except the stuff about the onions — because we have every right to be pissed as hell. We’ve been watching an extremist group of Republicans railroad legislation through using ever nasty parliamentary trick in the book for the last six years, and Democrats can’t even force a filibuster with FIFTY-NINE FUCKING VOTES and they cave on everything.

    Complicit! Complicit! Complicit!

    Ok. I said it.

    I’ll have a Manhattan while I watch America slide into corporate fascism. Bottoms up.

  38. Ann Althouse said,

    December 15, 2007 at 2:17

    I, Ann Althouse, am disappointed with myself, Ann Althouse, for failing to add that I, Ann Althouse, am Ann Althouse, the person I, Ann Althouse, am, to one occasion of me, Ann Althouse, saying “me” (alas, without the proper reference to me, Ann Althouse) in the previous comment by me, Ann Althouse.
    I, Ann Althouse, apologize to all of you, who are not Ann Althouse.

  39. mikey said,

    December 15, 2007 at 2:23

    Yep. Reckon so. They’re playing it “safe”, triangulating on further electoral victories. But they don’t seem to care about fixing anything, just the accumulation of power for the sake of power. And in that way, they ARE no different than the Repubs.

    They know we’ll vote for them. And they know that most of the ones who don’t WON’T vote for the Repubs. So they have even less reason than ever to be responsive to our demands.

    They’re the worst kind of thugs in the saddest kind of racket:

    “Give us power in return for nothing or we’ll let the fucking nutjobs blow the whole thing up. You think you’ll still have a job if they get elected and blow Iran up? When oil goes to $300 a barrel? With us in power, you’ll still have a job. Oh, your wages, bennies and health care will be shit, and the government will move toward a security/surveillance state, but you’ll be able to eat and sleep under a roof. So which will it be, sucker?”

    I don’t do victim well…

    mikey

  40. Ann Altmoose said,

    December 15, 2007 at 2:24

    Who are you calling fat?!?

  41. kth said,

    December 15, 2007 at 2:31

    That trillion bucks does seem a trifle high. But if Obama’s people are figuring the present value, over an infinite horizon, of projected health-care savings, then surely Althouse knows who to blame for introducing that standard.

  42. inkadu said,

    December 15, 2007 at 2:33

    Mikey — That’s what the debate has been about on a lot of blogs. Are they really triangulating with a really stupid strategy, or do they just really not care about any principles outside lining their own pockets?

    A cursory view of the past several years points any objective observer to the latter conclusion. Especially considering their strong strategic position in being able to set the terms of the debate. “But the media,” whine the apologists. Bullshit. After Bush vetoes 59 bills in a single month, the focus will be on Bush. It’s really so simple. But they don’t do it.

    So, I don’t know. Do we want to talk about this, or Ann Althouses butt? For some reason I find a deeper kinship in the sarcastic fuckers of SadlyNo! then I do in the more “activist” blogs, so it’s nice to be with the spiritual peeps, so to speak. But Sadly No! is for teh funneh, so I’m all wracked with guilt.

    Just like a good liberal.

  43. Simba B said,

    December 15, 2007 at 2:35

    “surely Althouse knows”

    I think it’s been well established Althouse doesn’t “know” anything it’s not convenient for her to know.

  44. MzNicky said,

    December 15, 2007 at 2:36

    Great head on this thread, Gavin, you clever boy!

  45. inkadu said,

    December 15, 2007 at 2:36

    I think it’s been well established Althouse doesn’t “know” anything it’s not convenient for her to know.

    That’s a pretty good estimate, I’d estimate.

  46. actor212 said,

    December 15, 2007 at 2:41

    “They are going to take potato chips from us for the common good.”

    Yes, just like they took away cocaine.

  47. actor212 said,

    December 15, 2007 at 2:41

    Althouse isn’t fat, she’s busty.

  48. bartkid said,

    December 15, 2007 at 2:50

    What?
    No more love for teh onion rings?

  49. Johnny Roseboro said,

    December 15, 2007 at 2:50

    Are they really triangulating with a really stupid strategy, or do they just really not care about any principles outside lining their own pockets?

    No reason why both cannot be true. In fact, since the dems seem to have more brownian motion than the repubs, I’d say from one to another both ARE true.

    Do we want to talk about this, or Ann Althouses butt? For some reason I find a deeper kinship in the sarcastic fuckers of SadlyNo! then I do in the more “activist” blogs, so it’s nice to be with the spiritual peeps, so to speak. But Sadly No! is for teh funneh

    I know. But for some completely opaque reason, the nice people around here let me hang out, even though I’m not one of the funnier ones. I don’t get it, but I’m grateful for it…

    mikey

  50. mikey said,

    December 15, 2007 at 2:51

    Ooooppss.

    This computer thinks I’m Johnny Roseboro.

    Next thing y’know, it’ll think I’m Ann Althouse, who I might very well be…

    mikey

  51. Anne Laurie said,

    December 15, 2007 at 2:53

    If we went back to the cardiac care that existed in 1980, Dick Cheney would be asleep in the arms of Satan. That would save us about a trillion dollars…assuming a war with Iran only costs a trillion dollars.

    Best comment EVAR!

    In other topics, Ed “Spawn of Satan” Rollins was pleased to announce today that he’s assuming control of Huckabee’s campaign. Just in case anyone might still be under the impression that Teh Huckster was other than your standard Rethuglican monster, seeing him standing next to Rollins & beaming all over his avocado-shaped face should be a wake-up call. I assume that watching the old tapes of Rollins bragging about paying African-American ministers to exhort their flocks on behalf of Dubya’s election made the winning difference, because if Huckabee believes in anything, it’s that ministers should be gettin’ paid wherever possible.

  52. inkadu said,

    December 15, 2007 at 2:57

    Brownian motion is a hopeful way to look at it. I can still feel angry at Reid and Pelosi, who, whatever else they said, fundamentally misrepresented how they were going to tackle Republicans. Will Fitzmas ever truly arrive? I want a moment of repudiation, a clean break with the past, a public pillorying of the Republicans, pundits, neo-cons and Dem-enablers. Instead we’ll get a Hillary-sanctioned bombing of Iran.

    I’m not really sure why they let me hang around, either. I’m not funny. Unless you think Eyore’s funny.

    PS. Ann Althouse is a heifer.

  53. inkadu said,

    December 15, 2007 at 2:59

    In other topics, Ed “Spawn of Satan” Rollins was pleased to announce today that he’s assuming control of Huckabee’s campaign. Just in case anyone might still be under the impression that Teh Huckster was other than your standard Rethuglican monster, seeing him standing next to Rollins & beaming all over his avocado-shaped face should be a wake-up call.

    Why all the hate against Ed “Spawn of Satan” Rollins? We established earlier that he is the very nephew of Jesus Christ hisself.

  54. Ann Althouse said,

    December 15, 2007 at 3:07

    I cannot believe the proprietors of this “blog” allow their “readers” to disrespect me in such a sexist way. Take a page from feminism, you pricks!

    Plus you are all boring!! I practically fall asleep reading these posts!! At least, I would if I actually read them!!

    What would this blog be like if I actually commented on it?

  55. Malignant Bouffant, nihilist, said,

    December 15, 2007 at 3:07

    It makes no difference. We could have a constitutional convention next wk., w/ all the states approving it next month, that would outlaw torture, wiretapping, & so on, & it wouldn’t stop Cheney & Co. for 30 seconds. And we wouldn’t find out in most cases, & most of this nation of sheep wouldn’t notice or care anyway. Call & write your representatives, e-mail the editor, vote, demonstrate, yada yada, until you’re blue in the face, it doesn’t matter, you’re screwed.

  56. Kathleen said,

    December 15, 2007 at 3:11

    I prefer to bury my head in the Sadly No sand.

  57. inkadu said,

    December 15, 2007 at 3:22

    The following post has been translated to SadlyNo! Brand Sarcasm to protect the fragile wounded.

    Bulbous Bouffant: It would be teh suck if there was a Consititutional Convention banned torture, because then it would mean that people were actually against torture. That would be the most depressing thing evah! It actually makes me sad when we have to torture in secret, because this is the sort of thing that should be embraced by every right thinking American.

    There. Just run it through your opposite day filters and you’ll be all set.

    You’re welcome, Kathleen. Or should I say… you’re not welcome?

    In Bush’s America, sarcasm posts you!

  58. Annal T. House™³²®© said,

    December 15, 2007 at 3:26

    You’re all “a bunch” of filthy porndoggies and doggettes.

  59. Annal T. House™³²®© said,

    December 15, 2007 at 3:28

    Did somebody say this nation of sheep ?

    Did somebody say Dirty Deeds, and They’re Done With Sheep!one1!?

  60. Malignant Bouffant said,

    December 15, 2007 at 3:35

    this is the sort of thing that should be embraced by every right thinking American.

    It is.

  61. inkadu said,

    December 15, 2007 at 3:37

    Nice sunset, a corona, a lime, and that sweet, soft, SadlyNo sand…

    Mmm…. soothing sarcalepsy…

  62. Ghost of Teh Sammich said,

    December 15, 2007 at 3:38

    Ann Althouse has bent me over and ravaged me like the Republicans have the “majority” Dems.

  63. Tim (the other one) said,

    December 15, 2007 at 3:46

    Hey, just went over to Ann’s place and noticed her new photo ID. Do you think if I treated a photo of myself to that sort of “edgy” tweaking I’d have hair on top of my head agian ?

    Because it certainly gives her a more discernable jaw line and a more svelt profile…..

  64. Clem said,

    December 15, 2007 at 3:55

    I tried to make it with Althouse once, but the bedsheets were white and I lost her.

  65. Kathleen said,

    December 15, 2007 at 4:06

    these days the horror is to horriffic and we must swap the corona with tequila.

  66. dBa said,

    December 15, 2007 at 4:18

    Whenever people say we must swap the corona with the tequila, I observe there’s no reason we shouldn’t consume both.

  67. tigrismus said,

    December 15, 2007 at 4:33

    Meow meowing? It’s well known there were no cats involved in the rebellion, you ignoramoose!

    And Anne Laurie, always remember that Doctorb Science’s sacasm goes up to eleven.

  68. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    December 15, 2007 at 4:37

    Kathleen said,

    December 15, 2007 at 4:06

    these days the horror is to horriffic and we must swap the corona with tequila.

    Don’t forget to put the lime in the coconut.

  69. commie atheist said,

    December 15, 2007 at 5:01

    Glenn Reynolds, Ann Althouse, Chris Muir. All think they a have a sense of humor, all most assuredly do not.

  70. MzNicky said,

    December 15, 2007 at 5:14

    Whenever people say we must swap the corona with the tequila, I observe there’s no reason we shouldn’t consume both.

    That’s always been my understanding of the situation. Preferably one immediately after the other. Or is that any ol’ beer at all and Irish whisky? I forget, for some reason.

  71. Lesley said,

    December 15, 2007 at 5:19

    That animated gif of Ann nauseates me every time I see it.

    If you want a laugh, check out the third place essay over at the Missouri Writers Guild titled “EXPLAINING AMERICA TO A NEW TURKISH FRIEND”
    http://www.missouriwritersguild.org/2007mwgwintercontxt.pdf
    Page 8.
    The one that begins

    Fatih, you asked me, “What is America really like?” Well, I think I’d respond this way. America is a little, red-haired girl with freckles, smiling, with a big ice cream cone on the 4th of July, the sparkle of fireworks in her eyes as she looks skyward…

    [and nearly ends with]

    …Finally, Americans are conscious of, but a bit perplexed by, the mixed messages regarding America’s image sent to them by the rest of the world. On the one hand, the world seems to clamor for America’s leadership in helping resolve international dilemmas and tensions hither and yon across the globe. And Americans, being a compassionate people, are only too willing to give their assent. Yet, on the other hand, not infrequently this involvement can take on a bitter tinge, and those calls for help become a seething “Yankee, go home!” “So, what are we to do?” Americans ask themselves sadly.

    hither and yon, indeed! I bet Bush would have given him first place.

  72. cleter said,

    December 15, 2007 at 5:25

    Fatih, you asked me, “What is America really like?” Well, I think I’d respond this way. America is a little, red-haired girl with freckles, smiling, with a big ice cream cone on the 4th of July, the sparkle of fireworks in her eyes as she looks upward at Dick Cheney attaching the electrodes to the dirty brown man’s testicles. America is Dick Cheney wiping that man’s scrotum sweat on the Constitution before flipping the switch.

  73. mikey said,

    December 15, 2007 at 5:26

    Whoa. Waitaminute.

    You mean, sometimes, there’s some people, somewhere, who are not pleased by our bombing, killing, displacing, and and supporting the worst elements that are only interested in wealth and power?

    Goddam it.

    Who coulda predicted that?

    mikey

  74. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    December 15, 2007 at 5:34

    Who coulda predicted that?

    mikey

    Death Cab for Democracy™.

  75. Kathleen said,

    December 15, 2007 at 5:36

    Whenever people say we must swap the corona with the tequila, I observe there’s no reason we shouldn’t consume both.

    your ideas intrigue me and I would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

  76. Teh World said,

    December 15, 2007 at 5:45

    We suffer from an onerous burden of natural resources and independence. We clamour for America’s leadership. Will you not come here and resolve this tension?

  77. (Lex) Skink Tyree (Azagthoth) said,

    December 15, 2007 at 5:48

    OMG…I almost didn’t even scroll down this post is so fuggin hilarious. Fucking socialist, jacking with our chips. Dammit.

    Despite my horrible cold, I am going out to have a smoke so I won’t get horrible fat as suggested in these comments (EGADS!). But the new mockery blog is up, if anyone wants to see it. http://govvs.blogspot.com/

    I’m going to get slaughtered for doing this, BTW. I’ll have to be off living with Skink in the wilderness or with The Azagthoth once these bloggers get hold of me….LOL.

  78. MzNicky said,

    December 15, 2007 at 5:57

    I was just remarking to the spousal unit tonight at dinner, at our favorite Mexican dive that we’ve gone to at least once a week for more than 20 years now, which recently has been forced by state law to become “smoke-free”—I sez to him, I sez, “It’s a sad day in America when you can’t have a smoke with yer margarita anymore in your favorite Mexican dive.” Not to mention, what’s an ice-cold Corona with a side of Tequila without a Marlboro on the side?

    I weep for the future.

  79. Gary Ruppert said,

    December 15, 2007 at 6:01

    The fact is, I would fuck Ann Althouse up the ass.

  80. dBa said,

    December 15, 2007 at 6:16

    I can’t do a newsletter, I have no artistical skillz. That’s why I’m here – I’m studying teh snark, so I can get good at it.

    I can roll a joint, slam a shot, quaff a beer, and do some slightly more technical stuff that I can get paid for, but that’s about it.

  81. Malignant Bouffant said,

    December 15, 2007 at 6:16

    Cary, the bottom line is… Oh, never mind.

  82. Malignant Bouffant said,

    December 15, 2007 at 6:21

    Did the latest Gary comment get removed? I could have sworn it was up there as I started to type my response & then gave up. Probably a good idea to remove it, actually. (Makes my comment look better anyway.)

  83. Kathleen said,

    December 15, 2007 at 6:23

    the first sign of psychosis is hallucinating Gary comments.

  84. Hallucinating Gary Comments™³²®© said,

    December 15, 2007 at 7:02

    The fact is, you leftiesianss….

    Ah, I give up. Gary/Kevin/Shoelimpy are beyond parody, they’re just boring.

  85. g said,

    December 15, 2007 at 7:15

    was just remarking to the spousal unit tonight at dinner, at our favorite Mexican dive that we’ve gone to at least once a week for more than 20 years now, which recently has been forced by state law to become “smoke-free”—I sez to him, I sez, “It’s a sad day in America when you can’t have a smoke with yer margarita anymore in your favorite Mexican dive.” Not to mention, what’s an ice-cold Corona with a side of Tequila without a Marlboro on the side?

    Dang, MzNicky. We Californians have been living smoke-free for so long that when I travel to a state where you can smoke in a restaurant, I feel crappy. And I used to not mind hanging in bars with my smoking friends.

    I think you get used to it pretty quick.

  86. g said,

    December 15, 2007 at 7:15

    I should say – Where SOMEONE can smoke in a restaurant. I’ve never been a smoker.

  87. g said,

    December 15, 2007 at 7:17

    Fuck.

    Y’all, can I just say “Fuck?”

    I have had a fuck of a day.

  88. Kathleen said,

    December 15, 2007 at 7:17

    We Californians have been living smoke-free for so long that when I travel to a state where you can smoke in a restaurant, I feel crappy.

    word. try going to Chicago.

  89. John O said,

    December 15, 2007 at 8:04

    Jan. 1. No smoking in Chicago bars, either.

    And the tyranny of the majority marches on…

    I don’t like smoky bars, unless I’m really having fun in one.

    It’s all very 1984 to me. I hate it. What happened to the wisdom of the market? Christ, if you have a mosty eating establishment, right on. But alcohol and tobacco have been matched in heaven since there existed alcohol and tobacco.

    I guess I’m old school. Too smoky for me? I leave. It’s like, “changing the channel” as far as I’m concerned.

  90. MzNicky said,

    December 15, 2007 at 8:04

    g: Let me explicate that I’m what I think of as a “social smoker.” I’ve enjoyed smoking off and on since I was a rebellious teenager, which was about 35 years ago. I’ve gone years without a single cigarette, like the two times I was pregnant and when the yard-apes were little, and during the 80s when I went to aerobics classes and whatnot. Then there’ve been the rather stressful middle-aged stretches when I’ve smoked the pack a day for a year or so, then quit.

    Whatever. Nowadays, I still enjoy a smoke every now and then when I’m out with friends. Big fucking deal. Go out in the parking lot for your smoke and you inhale more harmful carcinogens from the passing traffic and the industrially-polluted everyday air than from my puny Marlboro Ultra-Lite. It’s like, blow me, I gotta stand out in the cold and the rain for a random smoke because some latter-day yuppie in my favorite Mexican dive is a-feared their precious spawn might be exposed to my lame-ass cigarette. It’s the fascisism of Amurka, I tell ya. Ribber-shibber, I’m old and crabby. Don’t worry, I’ll die soon and then you kids’ll be free to carry on with yer rap-hop “music” and yer bisexual orgies and whatnot and I won’t even have a lawn to yell about anymore.

  91. Malignant Bouffant, not a thin guy, who smokes a pack a day of Camel non-filters, said,

    December 15, 2007 at 8:18

    I’ve enjoyed smoking off and on since I was a rebellious teenager…
    I’ve gone years without a single cigarette…

    Next you’ll say you can eat as much as you like, of anything, & never gain a pound.

    And then everyone will start to hate you a little bit.

  92. Lesley said,

    December 15, 2007 at 8:28

    As I’ve mentioned before, my mom died from oral cancer caused by smoking. She lost her teeth, her tongue, and part of her throat. Surgeons removed all of these things. Speaking became variation of “ah ah ah” and guttural sounds. She “ate” through a stomach tube for a year before cancer took her. Death, when it arrived, was a blessing because she suffered like a torture victim for months before fuckers I won’t name finally got her pain meds sorted out.

    I will never forget what cigarettes, and their 4000 deadly chemicals, did to my mom and I’m fine with smoking bans. Bring ‘em on. (I’m thankful I quit at 26. Best decision I ever made.)

  93. Smut Clyde said,

    December 15, 2007 at 8:39

    Next you’ll say you can eat as much as you like, of anything, & never gain a pound.
    Time for another deep-fried black-pudding sandwich, washing it down with beer while I admire the ’65 kg.” reading on the bathroom scales…

  94. MzNicky said,

    December 15, 2007 at 8:43

    Next you’ll say you can eat as much as you like, of anything, & never gain a pound.

    Ha. Hahahahaha. I wish.

    Lesley: I’m truly sorry about your mom. I’m a breast cancer “survivor” my own self. My husband has had thyroid cancer for seven years. My dad is currently battling pancreatic cancer. My mother-in-law died of breast cancer, two of my good friends recently have died from cancer, ten women I know personally are also BrCa “survivors.” I wrote my master’s thesis on how mass-media disseminates information about breast cancer. I know smoking is stupid. But so is drinking, and breathing, and eating meat. Whatta ya gonna do.

  95. Mandos said,

    December 15, 2007 at 8:49

    Obama’s statement is rather unlikely though. Google “obesity paradox” for an example of why. There’s an obsession with fat-blaming and it’s not all about health.

  96. Lesley said,

    December 15, 2007 at 9:13

    MzNicky, I avoid plastics as much as possible. Especially microwaving or heating plastics. Plastics are full of estrogens and most packaged food items, including microwaveable plastic containers aren’t remotely “food safe.”

    Mountain Equipment Co-op – a retailer of outdoor gear here – recently banned all of its plastic water bottles because of the chemical bisphenol A. Patagonia has followed suit.
    http://www.nationalpost.com/rss/story.html?id=152839

  97. the_millionaire_lebowski said,

    December 15, 2007 at 10:49

    This is me posting on Sadly, No!

    When are we getting another Retardo post? I like his poast.

  98. the_millionaire_lebowski said,

    December 15, 2007 at 11:01

    OMFG Someone PLEASE make Retardo read this.

  99. Anne Laurie said,

    December 15, 2007 at 11:06

    Mr. Lebowski, “Retardo” changed his nym to “HTML Mencken”. He still rwites teh gud poast.

    If you were being sarcastic, plz ignor kthxbai.

  100. Lesley said,

    December 15, 2007 at 11:12

    I wonder how many cheeto-eating keyboarders have the gonads to read this soldier.

  101. owlbear1 said,

    December 15, 2007 at 11:19

    Althouse? Althouse?

    She’s that performance artist, right?

  102. the_millionaire_lebowski said,

    December 15, 2007 at 11:20

    Retardo Montalban was a better name, in my arrogant ass opinion.

    Also, I guess I can’t make a spelling mistake (‘poast’) without eliciting fuckin’ netspeak around here (‘plz ignor kthxbai’).

  103. Smut Clyde said,

    December 15, 2007 at 11:24

    Mountain Equipment Co-op – a retailer of outdoor gear here – recently banned all of its plastic water bottles
    Ben Goodacre from the Guardian, who is generally skeptical about health-related alarums & excursions, also has qualms about phthalates (plasticisers) in consumer products.
    By the way, is the RobW who comments on the Bad Science blog the same RobW who turns up sometimes here? Inquiring minds, etc

  104. actor212 said,

    December 15, 2007 at 15:16

    I have a point of order, Mr Chairperson…

    Is it Ann ALThouse, Ann WINEhouse, or Amy ALThouse?

  105. I Like Pie said,

    December 15, 2007 at 15:20

    Maybe obesity will bring down the American Empire.

    I’ll gladly share my slice of the global pie.

  106. Gary Ruppert said,

    December 15, 2007 at 15:41

    The fact is, anyone who does not find Ann attractive is a fag.

  107. Ann Elk said,

    December 15, 2007 at 15:49

    Can I just say here that I have a new theory about the brontosaurus?

  108. inkadu said,

    December 15, 2007 at 15:51

    Hey! I don’t serve huevos rancheros in your lungs!

    And I think it’s Ann ALT-CTRL-DELHouse

  109. (Lex) Skink Tyree (Azagthoth) said,

    December 15, 2007 at 15:59

    g-wow, you really had to go through some explaining on that one, eh? That cracked me up! You Cali sometimes social smokers are so funny. For the record, I lasted exactly 11 mos. in California even though I had bought a house.

  110. Anne Elk brackets Miss brackets said,

    December 15, 2007 at 17:39

    I have a theory, and it is mine. Ahem. My theory is this.

  111. dBa said,

    December 15, 2007 at 17:41

    Overindulging in coffee and smokes this morning as I peruse the comments, all I can add is

  112. Minivet said,

    December 15, 2007 at 18:41

    But the truth is that going to the doctor more is not going to solve our fatness problem. If it did, we’d be paying now for the treatment (not that we wouldn’t like the government to reimburse us).

    It’s funny how libertarianism at its stoogiest shades into Pollyannaism. We must live in the best of all possible worlds, because if not, someone would have already made money improving it.

  113. Minivet said,

    December 15, 2007 at 18:42

    Sorry, Panglossianism.

  114. Marita said,

    December 15, 2007 at 19:31

    It’s like, blow me, I gotta stand out in the cold and the rain for a random smoke because some latter-day yuppie in my favorite Mexican dive is a-feared their precious spawn might be exposed to my lame-ass cigarette.

    Earlier this year I went to a concert in an outdoor venue and got stuck in the seats all the way at the back, which, while in a no smoking area, were only a few feet away from the smoking-allowed area. There wasn’t much breeze coming in off of the harbor, and the smoke got pretty thick, and even with seats open further from the haze, the concert staff wouldn’t let us move. So a couple of hours in, I got so sick from the smoke that I ended up having an asthma attack that required EMTs to come in to treat me. It was completely fucking horrible, and it was a couple of days before I was back to normal.

    I’m no yuppie, and I’m not toting spawn, but I don’t feel even a little bit bad about thinking people can fuck directly off with their goddamned cigarettes. If people exposed complete strangers to any other substance that could make them so sick, they’d be charged with assault.

    And health issues aside, I will never understand how people can be so indignantly defensive of a habit that coats complete strangers’ clothes in stench. Honestly, doesn’t the thought that you’re making other people’s clothes and hair reek disturb you just a little bit?

  115. Djur said,

    December 15, 2007 at 19:40

    MzNicky, John O: I’ve always understood the justification of public smoking bans to be the effect of second-hand smoke on employees. I don’t like smoky bars myself, but I wouldn’t expect it to be banned for my, the customer’s, sake. On the other hand, I can’t help but notice how shitty I feel after even an hour or two in a smoke-filled bar — what exactly is the impact on someone who spends twenty, thirty, forty hours a week in the same atmosphere?

    Well, actually, we do know. I’m sympathetic to the idea that an owner should be able to decide whether his or her bar is a smoking establishment or not, and that the customer should be able to decide which kind of bar to frequent, but the fundamental issue is that the employee doesn’t usually get to decide — and, for that matter, is usually ill-paid with minimal to no benefits.

    If the average smoking bar was a factory instead, none of us would tolerate that degree of workplace pollution.

  116. mikey said,

    December 15, 2007 at 20:01

    Smoked for decades. Marlboros, of course. Quit in August of 2003 after ranting at a friend of mine that she should quit (long story, but basically her husband had to quit for medical reasons, and I just thought for her to keep smoking, making it that much harder for him, was fucked up). Hung up the phone, reached for my pack o’smokes, stopped, said “Huh” and threw ‘em away. Haven’t had one since.

    At first I SWORE I wasn’t gonna be one of those assholes. You know the ones. The reformed can be the worst of us all. And for the first year or so, I was one open minded, tolerant non-smoking motherfucker.

    But know what? The goddam things are NASTY, and I really don’t like them in my world. I hate sitting at a red light with the top down and having that cloud of stenchy mcstink blow into my nature-scented world. Nope, I’m a selfish old bastard, and for nothing other than selfish reasons, the smoking bans are way ok with me. Up in Belmont, I hear they’re banning smoking from apartments. Hee hee. This amuses me. I’d like nothing better than to see the cig companies driven to bankruptcy. Ok, won’t happen, but a fellah can dream, right?

    When I go to Nevada, the smoking in restaraunts and bars catches me off guard every time. Reminds me of how much I like it here on the edge of the continent.

    I got no problem with your right to smoke. But you seem to have a problem with my right NOT to. That, mi amigos, is kinda weird…

    mikey

  117. MileHi Hawkeye said,

    December 15, 2007 at 21:41

    All this talk of smoking makes me want to go outside and light up a cigarette. Right after my daily colonoscopy, of course.

  118. random idiot said,

    December 15, 2007 at 21:48

    You know what really gets me about smoking? Tobacco is a rubbish drug. All smoking a fag does is satisfy the craving for another one. Its the ideal commercial product.. all it does is feed an endless need for the product itself.

    I gave up smoking when I was 10, and found out drinking was way more fun.

    The smoking ban in the UK has changed the comforting “pub smell” all good pubs have though. I kind of miss that.

  119. Smut Clyde said,

    December 15, 2007 at 22:15

    P0rn is the ideal commercial product.. “all it does is feed an endless need for the product itself.”
    Colonoscopies, not so much

  120. STH said,

    December 15, 2007 at 22:18

    I feel for smokers, I really do, but I don’t get why convenience for smokers (not having to walk 10 feet away to light up) is supposed to take precedence over the health of others. I know it’s a drag to walk outside in the cold to light up, but there are other people around you whose rights matter, too; you chose to smoke and they didn’t.

    And think of the poor folks who have to work in those smoky bars and restaurants. Bad enough that they’re on their feet all the time, make lousy money, have to deal with all the noise and the assholes; they shouldn’t have to breathe all that junk just to make a living.

  121. American Gastroenternologists Association said,

    December 15, 2007 at 22:41

    “Colonoscopies, not so much”

    We beg to differ. Laxatives are teh fun!

    “The AGA, looking up your ass for over 50 years.”

  122. MileHi Hawkeye said,

    December 15, 2007 at 22:45

    “P0rn is the ideal commercial product..”

    Great–now I have a desire to watch pron, after I go outside and have a cigarette, after having my daily colonoscopy.

    Please, for the love of God, don’t start talking about bacon!!!

  123. Marita said,

    December 15, 2007 at 22:55

    Bacon goes best with Play-Doh, MileHi. Or so I’ve heard.

  124. MileHi Hawkeye said,

    December 15, 2007 at 23:18

    Now you’ve done it–I’m off to the butcher shop. And really, what doesn’t bacon go well with? Some would say it is the ideal food product.

    Mmmmmmmmmmmm, sweet, sweet bacon…

  125. g said,

    December 15, 2007 at 23:43

    Mmmmm… I’m sitting here eating some kinda vegan wrap thing cause I’m at an evironmentally sustainable event and that’s all they’re serving. But now I’m dreaming of a good old BLT on toasted white bread with mayo.

  126. tigrismus said,

    December 15, 2007 at 23:54

    And really, what doesn’t bacon go well with?

    Bubblegum.

  127. g said,

    December 16, 2007 at 0:11

    There’s always Pig candy

  128. Smut Clyde said,

    December 16, 2007 at 1:35

    Mmmm, bacon ice cream…

  129. Smut Clyde said,

    December 16, 2007 at 1:39

    Can you imagine a world with hover bacon
    La la la la la la!
    Can you imagine if pork had levitation
    La la la la la la!
    It’s made of bacon! and it can hover!
    La la la la la la!
    We would all travel on ham around the nation
    La la la la la la!

  130. mikey said,

    December 16, 2007 at 2:07

    I’ve had jalapeño ice cream…

    mikey

  131. FS said,

    December 16, 2007 at 2:44

    It’s impossible to lose Althouse in the sheets. Just look for the blinking red eyes.

  132. Anne Laurie said,

    December 16, 2007 at 8:24

    Mikey, I’ve been told by reputable sources that the Japanese have been known to make horsemeat ice cream, pickled eel ice cream, and sea urchin roe ice cream. I’m sure somebody over there has made, or is attempting to make, bacon ice cream.

    And if chain-smoking didn’t seem to be one of those beloved Japanese folk customs, they’d probably make nicotine-flavored ice cream as well.

  133. Smgumby said,

    December 16, 2007 at 10:19

    Dude can you put a seizure warning or something before that Althouse pic?

  134. MzNicky said,

    December 16, 2007 at 16:27

    Oh good Lord, children, keep yer backpacks on. No one’s tellin’ ya to smoke if you don’t want. I don’t even smoke. I was simply lamenting the passing of a time when an adult could sit in a bar and enjoy a cig with her beer and Tequila. Sheesh already.

    By the way, eating all that bacon’ll kill ya.

  135. Sadly, No! » This Is The Reason We Can’t Have Nice Things said,

    February 3, 2013 at 10:15

    [...] thing, after a while — and it’s happening again — I inevitably get sucked into an Althousian vortex of distracting bugfuckery and I end up with a half dozen incomplete drafts; not, I think, [...]

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