Dec
10
10
Jesus Rode A Dinosaur — In Space! [Updated]
Apparently, the creationists also have a grievance against astronomy.
How many gaping scientific howlers can you spot in this brief documentary?
Update: If your brain isn’t bleeding yet, here’s what seems to be a different edit of the video, without most of the material above, but with tons more sophistries (including a version of the infamous banana theory):
Woodrowfan said,
December 10, 2007 at 16:43
OUCH. that video makes the baby Jesus cry!
Sporkey said,
December 10, 2007 at 16:50
Wow. I’m amazed that they packed so much stupid in so little time. ‘Scuse me, while I get the mop to clean the floor of what was formerly my brain.
bpower said,
December 10, 2007 at 16:55
Oh man, that was painful. Constantly going from pity to anger and back again cannot be good for your mental health.
Steve Balboni said,
December 10, 2007 at 16:58
Reminds me of that SNL bit with Will Ferrel as Harry Caray
“What’s your favorite planet? Mine’s the sun - always has been”
The Kenosha Kid said,
December 10, 2007 at 17:05
First they came for paleontology….
(etc)
Rob Deer said,
December 10, 2007 at 17:14
Dunno. Seemed pretty convincing to me. Looks like none of you Scientistismists can even raise an objection.
Not only was the argument clear and convincing, you will note that it was well supported by quotes from a man with an English accent. Upon hearing that both Gregg Easterbrook and I wrote “game over” into our debate notebooks.
atheist said,
December 10, 2007 at 17:15
First, and biggest, there are more possibilities than a universe which started from an explosion, and a universe which was created by an outside being. There is also a steady-state universe, which has always existed, and a cyclical universe, which keeps re-creating itself. And probably other possibilities that haven’t been thought of.
The stuff about how the solar system “could not” have been created from a rotating cloud of gas which coalesced into planets and a central star is also pretty unconvincing. So the planets are unique… maybe it was a clumpy cloud. Why is that hard to fathom? So the planets rotate- um, if the cloud was rotating, then why is it surprising that the planets do too? Lot of random asteroid hits would not start the protoplanets rotating, it’s true, but they would not stop them from rotating either.
You can attack the idea that this solar system arranged iself without intelligence, but to me it seems more likely than that this solar system was created this way by plan. Why would a creator make a solar system with such raw grandeur, vast scale, and deadly beauty, but make it so completely inconvenient for humans to get around in or use? Especially if this creator supposedly cares about humans, that is?
If I were a creator that cared about humans and wanted to make the ideal solar system, I’d make it a Dyson Sphere, or something like that. And Earth would have a giant wet bar encircling it, snaking across all continents and landmasses in a fractal pattern, with organic drink mixer plants growing out of it which could create any drink you wanted. And there would be gigantic trees which would house tribes of cute, highly intelligent little squirrels. The squirrels would go out of their trees, and teach the scattered hunter-gatherer humans about morality, basic science, literacy, and also offer sex education and distribute condoms. The squirrels would do all this in exchange for acorns, nuts and petting.
El Cid said,
December 10, 2007 at 17:22
Just think of how much easier all the domains of scientific research would be if the moment you came to a really hard question, you could just say,
‘Damn, I can’t figger this sh*t out — f***, it must be magic!’
Righteous Bubba said,
December 10, 2007 at 17:23
How many gaping scientific howlers can you spot in this brief documentary?
I spotted all of them.
Next quiz please. I expect to do just as well on that one.
El Cid said,
December 10, 2007 at 17:26
By the way, the Creationists might need to be a mite uncomfortable with their 2 conflicting stories:
(1) On the one hand, God’s role in the universe appears to be subtle, hidden — you know, he’s not putting flaming letters in the sky saying “All Ur Base R Belong To ME”.
And they get very angry if you ask God to show himself or where is the direct proof.
(2) On the other hand, apparently God’s real stupid, because even though he wanted to remain hidden, he apparently scattered all kinds of ‘evidence’ around of his magic.
So if you take their word for it that (1) God doesn’t want to have his existence proven and we must exert faith, and (2) God left all sorts of ‘evidence’ about of His magic, detectable by every reprobate nimrod…
…then it turns out that God, if He exists and created everything, is really, really, really, really stupid.
Which is good, in a way, because then they get the God they prefer anyway. Who wants a damn egghead ivory tower intellectual God any damn way?
Seanly said,
December 10, 2007 at 17:27
Send this to Brad at Bad Astronomy blog. He’ll have a field day with it.
Anyone else notice that instead of talking about astronomers, they constantly refer to evolutionists. And they refer to scientists saying that the solar system “evolved”. Maybe they are realizing that if you attack modern biology, you might as well as attack modern astronomy.
Sigh, sigh, sigh.
Hael said,
December 10, 2007 at 17:35
If solar systems evolved from gas, why is there still gas?
Roland, the Headless Thompson Gunner said,
December 10, 2007 at 17:40
Creationist Business Plan:
1) Attack modern science
2) ??????
3) Profit
Robert M. said,
December 10, 2007 at 17:43
If the solar system was formed by accretion out of a cloud of dust, then what about PYGMIES + DWARFS?
Name, Required said,
December 10, 2007 at 17:44
Hael,
Because some of the gas evolved into beans and was eaten.
QED
owlbear1 said,
December 10, 2007 at 17:44
All the planets SHOULD be made of 98% hydrogen.
All the planets SHOULD be rotating in the same direction.
All the planets SHOULD have moons orbitng in the same direction.
All the planets SHOULD SHOULD SHOULD
Holy Shit, it must suck for these people when the universe REFUSES to fit into a single book!
Robert M. said,
December 10, 2007 at 17:46
Ack, forgot to link. “PYGMIES + DWARFS?”
Robert M. said,
December 10, 2007 at 17:47
One more time: link
JK47 said,
December 10, 2007 at 17:49
From our friends at the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster:
We have evidence that a Flying Spaghetti Monster created the universe. None of us, of course, were around to see it, but we have written accounts of it. We have several lengthy volumes explaining all details of His power. Also, you may be surprised to hear that there are over 10 million of us, and growing. We tend to be very secretive, as many people claim our beliefs are not substantiated by observable evidence. What these people don’t understand is that He built the world to make us think the earth is older than it really is. For example, a scientist may perform a carbon-dating process on an artifact. He finds that approximately 75% of the Carbon-14 has decayed by electron emission to Nitrogen-14, and infers that this artifact is approximately 10,000 years old, as the half-life of Carbon-14 appears to be 5,730 years. But what our scientist does not realize is that every time he makes a measurement, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is there changing the results with His Noodly Appendage. We have numerous texts that describe in detail how this can be possible and the reasons why He does this. He is of course invisible and can pass through normal matter with ease.
profbacon said,
December 10, 2007 at 17:49
didn`t Rambo and Chuck Norris make the universe?
ahem said,
December 10, 2007 at 17:49
This actually has the same rhetorical model as ‘Loose Change’ at its most conspiratorial.
Though a better juxtaposition might be the Babel Fish sequence from the HHGTTG TV series.
owlbear1 said,
December 10, 2007 at 17:50
Also, where in the Bible does it talk about the contents and composition of the Solar System?
I always love the logic tho, “Scientists don’t have a DEFINITIVE answer so the answer must be GOD!”
Nimrod Gently said,
December 10, 2007 at 17:50
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD THIS GENUNELY HURTS MY BRAIN, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?
Roland, the Headless Thompson Gunner said,
December 10, 2007 at 17:53
Am the only one who thinks the “Religous Right” has jumped the shark?
When they attack science, which they don’t undertand, they look silly. When they attack the legitamacy of Islam, they undermine the legitamacy of religion in general. They paint themselves into corners with no-compromise positions on issues like abortion and gay rights. They continue to espouse a political agenda that is counter to the teaching so Jesus… and on and on the list grows.
The rise of the “stewardship” Evangelicals and the “New” Evangelicals, as well as the increase in athiests and non-churchgoers… these aren’t anomalies, they are the future.
atheist said,
December 10, 2007 at 17:57
I sure hope they jumped the shark. The problem is, as far as I am concerned they jumped the shark about 25 years ago at least, and the rest of the country just doesn’t agree with me on that.
So, I hope that they really have jumped the shark this time, but I can’t say with any confidence that the majority of US citizens agree. I reserve judgement until I get better data.
craigie said,
December 10, 2007 at 17:58
A magical being created all these planets, each different except somehow the same. And that’s why you shouldn’t use birth control.
God said,
December 10, 2007 at 17:59
…then it turns out that God, if He exists and created everything, is really, really, really, really stupid.
Hey, just because I fall asleep in my easy chair now and then doesn’t mean that these personal insults are justified. Nobody’s perfect. Be good.
GOI) said,
December 10, 2007 at 18:03
What do you mean nobodies perfect?
G()D said,
December 10, 2007 at 18:04
Yeah Buddy! Speak for yourself!
60D said,
December 10, 2007 at 18:06
Oy, not this argument again!
Peanutcat said,
December 10, 2007 at 18:08
OH GOD, TEH STUPID! IT BURNS!!!!!!
Seriously, I got about a third through it and hadda stop before my brain exploded . . . . .
Egypt Steve said,
December 10, 2007 at 18:08
No, there really was a creator. See, first there was infinite water, called “Nun,” and out of this arose the first manifestation of the sun god, Atum, also known as Atum-Re. Atum masturbated and swallowed his own semen, and then his mouth gestated Shu and Tefnut, the male atmosphere and female moisture. After he spat them out, they got it on and created all the subsequent generations of gods that actually form the universe. Are you all say you’re too fucking stupid to see this transcendent truth? Jesus. Er, I mean, Isis.
All of this was written down for us in a great ancient Egyptian hymn, the first poem known to mankind:
Re-Atum, who fathered creation,
Say the priests, did so through masturbation.
Though he came in his fingers,
The result of it lingers.
Perhaps, we should call it “cremation.”
Kobie said,
December 10, 2007 at 18:10
This is a big, piping hot cup of stupid if there ever was one. Holy sheep shit.
gbear said,
December 10, 2007 at 18:17
I like the theory that the big bang was the result of God crossing some wires when he was puttering around with the equipment in his garage. I mean, the same thing must have happened to Steve Jobs and Bill Gates.
Egypt Steve said,
December 10, 2007 at 18:19
Hael wrote:
If solar systems evolved from gas, why is there still gas?
Because on the eighth day, god said “Let there be beans.”
By the way, the all-wise Pythagorus commands us not to eat beans. There could be soon-to-be-reincarnated souls in them. Do you really want to fart out grandma and risk having her soul dissipate like a greazy burrito?
MrWonderful said,
December 10, 2007 at 18:19
I like the way they don’t even bother trying to identify the dignified expert (unless that’s on an earlier part of the film).
I started diligently listing the mistakes, and got as far as “1. Noise in outer space” and “2. Circular orbits of planets,” and then just gave up.
But this is pass/fail, right?
Bullsmith said,
December 10, 2007 at 18:22
If God made man in his image, and man is as monumentally stupid as shown in this clip, what are the creationists really saying about God?
Kilgore Trout said,
December 10, 2007 at 18:23
Creationist Business Plan:
1) Attack modern science
2) ??????
3) Profit
There’s really no mystery about #2. It’s “Collect donations from morons.”
Senioritis said,
December 10, 2007 at 18:31
Hey man, Gravity is just a theory.
Robert M. said,
December 10, 2007 at 18:35
Not addressing the actual content of the video–which, I believe, speaks for itself–it’s always seemed to me that in presenting their false dichotomy, creationism is actually dooming itself.
The foundation of the current creationist arguments is the idea that if science doesn’t have a clear, intuitive, consensus opinion on how something works, then it must be God. That was an easy argument to make in 400 C.E., but it’s getting harder every time we figure out something new.
Legalize said,
December 10, 2007 at 18:39
“If I were a creator that cared about humans and wanted to make the ideal solar system, I’d make it a Dyson Sphere, or something like that. And Earth would have a giant wet bar encircling it, snaking across all continents and landmasses in a fractal pattern, with organic drink mixer plants growing out of it which could create any drink you wanted. And there would be gigantic trees which would house tribes of cute, highly intelligent little squirrels. The squirrels would go out of their trees, and teach the scattered hunter-gatherer humans about morality, basic science, literacy, and also offer sex education and distribute condoms. The squirrels would do all this in exchange for acorns, nuts and petting.”
I’d like to join your mailing list please.
Notorious P.A.T. said,
December 10, 2007 at 18:42
Shorter Creationists: The solar system is a crazy, messed-up place where nothing makes sense–so obviously it was carefully designed by a godlike being with a master plan.
Righteous Bubba said,
December 10, 2007 at 18:47
I’m not sure I understand where the peanut butter and bananas fit into all this.
UNE_PuffTheMagicNegro said,
December 10, 2007 at 18:48
Ya’know, there is one question that I always want to ask these folks: Who created the creator? Where did god come from?……..As I have never been able to get a sufficient answer to any of these questions, I have always found it easier to embrace the notion that natural forces as yet completely understood conspired to form the universe.
Admittedly, the only difference between my viewpoint and the funditopean, is that I don’t have an authoritarian sky buddy to shove down anyone’s throat.
.
Clif said,
December 10, 2007 at 18:48
Before the trolls arrive and say since none of you addressed the points in the video it must be true, here are the answers as to how the solar nebula theory of the formation of the solar system created planets of different compositions and differing rotational directions and axes:
http://www.ux1.eiu.edu/~cfjps/1400/solar_origin.html
Arky - Cthulhusexual said,
December 10, 2007 at 18:48
I can’t give an answer because I wasn’t able to hear the whole thing.
Once he hit “Scientist can’t prove God didn’t make the universe,” the rest came through as “Moo, moo, moo, bark! Cluck, cluck, whinny…”
Fine, scientists can’t prove I didn’t make the universe, so let’s talk about back rent, bitches.
Achy said,
December 10, 2007 at 18:55
Dude is lying! I’m the one you to whom you owe rent!
Icky said,
December 10, 2007 at 18:56
And just whose name is on the rental agreement?
HuH?
Fozzetti said,
December 10, 2007 at 18:58
i got to point 0.21. Whenever they say “The ONLY blah blah blah yada yada ect. ect. AND SO ON!” I become intensely irritated, especially when I’m trying to thread a needle to sew my daughter’s turtle neck which she refuses to wear even tho it’s 16 degrees outside, and I can’t even SEE the hole in the needle, sob!
I once tried to equate the story of genesis with the Big Bang = “Let their be Light!’ And the gift/curse of knowledge gained by Eve as difficult childbirth due to our BIG heads. (Did Carl Sagan do that? Don’t want to plagerise). Anyhow, she (the Christian) didn’t buy it. But she is a nice Christian who gives to the poor, helps homeless children and is an all around good friend. How the neo-con-men trick them I can’t understand.
Arky - Cthulhusexual said,
December 10, 2007 at 18:59
Mine under Leasor, the human race under Leasee. Pay up or get out.
Fozzetti said,
December 10, 2007 at 18:59
I meant “Let there be Light, not let their be light”
“I did my best and it’s the best I could do!” (Space Boy)
Hoosier X said,
December 10, 2007 at 19:08
And there would be monkey butlers.
Nylund said,
December 10, 2007 at 19:14
The universe is so large and spread out that human beings will never have a first hand experience with 99.9% of it. and THAT is prove of an intelligent design? If it was all made for us humans, wouldn’t it make sense that he’d put these things someplace where we could actually get to them!?
That’s Neil Armstrong putting his spare house key on the moon. It makes for an intriguing story, but hardly an intelligent choice should he lock himself out.
Righteous Bubba said,
December 10, 2007 at 19:16
If it was all made for us humans, wouldn’t it make sense that he’d put these things someplace where we could actually get to them!?
I should be able to have an antimatter kitty and yet I can’t.
[shakes fist at sky]
Phil Moskowitz, Lovable Rogue said,
December 10, 2007 at 19:17
Why can’t god pick an orbit & stick with it? Too boring?
Why are scientists so stupid all the time? Does hating god make you stupider?
And Penzias & Wilson can just suck it!
Xenos said,
December 10, 2007 at 19:18
Not just howlers, but lies upon lies.
Obviously these people lie about religion to the sheep in their flock, too. What a bloody disgrace.
It makes me want Huckleberry to get the nomination, so he and his followers can get the decisive drubbing they are asking for.
Notorious P.A.T. said,
December 10, 2007 at 19:28
she is a nice Christian who gives to the poor, helps homeless children and is an all around good friend. How the neo-con-men trick them I can’t understand.
Sadly, that isn’t what the Bible is all about. Have you ever read that book?
random idiot said,
December 10, 2007 at 19:32
Why on earth do so many American Christians have so much invested in the idea of creationism? Darwins theories took about 30 years to reach widespread acceptance in the scientific community, and much of the English clergy were not far behind. By 1900, a vast majority of Christians accepted a non-literal interpretation of the book of Genesis.
The “creationist” phenomenon is fairly unknown in the UK, and Darwin is even on the back of the £10 note.
The attempts to demonise Darwin and push this “intelligent design” pseudo-science have all come from mostly very right wing, very dogmatic “evangelical” american sects. I think the whole reasoning behind this is the threat that evolutionary theory (and all science) represents to the concept of biblical inerrancy and literalism.
Look at any Christian sect which insists on a literal interpretation of the Bible. They are very authoritarian, and a bit cult like, controlling members very closely. On the other hand, churches which allow a non-literal interpretation can be quite liberal, and give their members much more leeway in their personal behaviour, preferring broad guidelines to a huge rulebook, and are generally a lot less dogmatic about scripture and its application to the modern world.
A literal and uncritical reading of the Bible shows an account of a 2000-3000 year old society, and holds it up as being the perfect form of human society. A majority of Christians ignore or de-emphasize the gruesome or simply unbelievable bits, and put more importance on the more palatable bits of the gospels etc, believing the words of Jesus have more authority than other parts of the text.
The fundies don’t want Christians to be able to make their own judgements about which parts of the text have more religious significance, or worse, to be able to disregard or re-interpret chunks of it. That kind of critical thinking tends to at least lead people towards a less authoritarian church, if not to some form of faith verging on deism or even agnosticism.
Its an old, old story. Some authoritarian arseholes don’t want people thinking for themselves, because that leads to disobedience.
Svlad Jelly said,
December 10, 2007 at 19:33
Hey this is great! And you can apply this logic to every day life too! Like, I have no fucking idea how my wallet ended up under the couch wrapped in a pair of ladies underwear with fifty bucks missing, so obviously, GOD DID IT. See, I know I didn’t do it, and therefore the only other explanation is GOD DID IT. There is no other explanation other than GOD DID IT. And we don’t even need to ask WHY God put my waller under the couch wrapped in ladies underwear and stole fifty bucks from me, because he’s fucking GOD and he works in mysterious ways and shit and it would be all kinds of presumptuous to fucking question His wallet-hiding, money-stealing intentions.
jim said,
December 10, 2007 at 19:36
But guy has British accent! that make him smarter guy.
Egypt Steve said,
December 10, 2007 at 19:37
Nylund asks about the spread-out universe. It’s not spread out. the whole thing is only 6,000 years old. Therefore, all this hoo-hah about stars or nubulae or whatever being millions or billions of light-years away is logically impossible. If we can see something that is more than 6,000 light years away according to pagan pseudo-science, then that implies the thing is more than 6,000 years old. Which is impossible. Therefore, nothing that we can see is more than 6,000 light years away. That proves creationism through scientific logic. Next question?
Grand Huck Tarkin said,
December 10, 2007 at 19:41
I think it is time we demonstrated the full power of this station. Set your course for Kolob.
Arky - Cthulhusexual said,
December 10, 2007 at 19:42
Worse than disobedience, it might lead to in$olvency. The life of a Bible Waving Talevangical is a lucrative one. Imagine what would happen if large numbers of people started saying “This is bullshit,” and spending their Sunday’s at home and the money they used to tithe on vacation. The minister or pastor’s job is to put on a good show and keep people riled up.
Bums on pews and all that.
jim said,
December 10, 2007 at 19:46
You’ve got the idea right there, Svlad.
And I had no idea what possessed me to spend my nephew’s college tuition on chocolate-covered stripers, little Timmy - so GOD DID IT!
Me said,
December 10, 2007 at 19:47
I got as far as “Pluto rotates backwards, while Uranus rotates on its side”.
Egypt Steve said,
December 10, 2007 at 19:49
Me: how the same hill did they know which way my anus rotates???
Humor Me said,
December 10, 2007 at 19:50
heh.
indeed.
Everyone knows God and Jesus put all those funny planets and moon things in space when they hid the dinosaur bones. If you’ve got time to worry about planetary evolution, you aren’t spending enough time prayin’ and tithin’.
Kilgore Trout said,
December 10, 2007 at 19:52
how the same hill did they know which way my anus rotates???
Used an airport men’s room lately?
Legalize said,
December 10, 2007 at 20:09
I don’t understand HOW it came to pass that I consumed 3/4 of a bottle of Johnny Walker this morning and neglected to show up at work! In fact, I don’t remember a thing! The only logical answer is that God made it happen. Why can’t the un-American, God-hating scientists, who love fags and hate America, understand that?
I wish Saul was here to explain this sufficiently.
What’s that? Personal responsibility? Silly moonbats. Personal responsibility only applies to dark people and/or unwed mothers driving around in brand new Cadillacs
t4toby said,
December 10, 2007 at 20:15
Have these dickweeds ever heard of empirical evidence? Where did they come up with this ‘fact’? Do they have a room-sized miniature planet-growing chamber whereby they can prove their faith through experiments? No wonder they don’t trust science. Making it up is so much more, uh, faithy?
So their main argument is: Because of the impossible complexity of the universe, it must’ve been created. But explain to us how these planets are so unique? Ah-ha! FAITH!!!1!
They live and breathe the Chewbacca Defense.
Lesly said,
December 10, 2007 at 20:15
This video was created for Christians with low self-esteem.
t4toby said,
December 10, 2007 at 20:16
You take that back right now, mister!
tb said,
December 10, 2007 at 20:19
Nyaar… God. Wow. I like how they project their dipshit idea of order onto the natural world. Like “all the planets have to be the SAME and they should all go the SAME WAY otherwise it’s God!!!”
This is ass-backwards from their traditional MO- they used to find examples of ordered-seeming phenomena, proclaim they are impossible without God, declare victory. Here they’re saying that a non-created universe should/would be perfectly ordered and that God introduces these chaotic elements, moons orbiting the “wrong” way, rings on some (BUT NOT ALL!!!) planets etc.
Jas said,
December 10, 2007 at 20:24
You might also enjoy the transcript of a recent visit to the Creation Museum by a very skeptical gentleman…
http://scalzi.com/whatever/?p=121
owlbear1 said,
December 10, 2007 at 20:27
The Great Scientist’s eyeball
looking down the microscope or a really cool looking nebula 8,000 light years away?
Lesly said,
December 10, 2007 at 20:31
Oh, and Clinton’s worker must’ve been the WaPo’s contact for that story on Obama secretly being a Muslim trying to take over America.
spoosmith said,
December 10, 2007 at 20:34
I suppose this is why the U.S. has the abysmal student science rankings compared to the rest of the world.
You guys are doomed.
Lesley said,
December 10, 2007 at 20:34
OT, but well in the realm of lame
iamcoyote said,
December 10, 2007 at 20:37
The Great Scientist’s eyeball
looking down the microscope or a really cool looking nebula 8,000 light years away?
Aiiiiieeee! Sauron lives!
Jake H. said,
December 10, 2007 at 20:44
I don’t get why pointing out the random, haphazard and non-uniform nature of the solar system is supposed to convince me that it was created by an intelligent being. Doesn’t it seem to be an argument for the reverse? Unless maybe he was drunk when he knocked Uranus on its side (it wasn’t the only thing he did to yer anus when he was drunk hyuk hyuk self high-five).
gbear said,
December 10, 2007 at 20:46
The number belongs to the Texas-based Freedom Christian Academy, which offers religious-based curriculum for home schooling.
Lesley, the Academy number was probably just the first one that came to mind.
bklyn said,
December 10, 2007 at 20:46
i have never geard any scientist say that god did not ‘create’ the big bang.
so why don’t these retards just claim that and STFU already.
bklyn said,
December 10, 2007 at 20:47
um, that’s heard
MFA said,
December 10, 2007 at 20:52
The so-called ‘Christians’ who made that video have swallowed the evolutionary secular-humanist athiestic communist manifesto hook, line, and sinker. This is obvious because they show the Earth orbiting the Sun. As IF! Pikers.
Any REAL Christian knows that this heathen heliocentrism is biblically (and therfore unquestionably) untrue; that in fact and verse the entire universe revolves around the Earth. And Dr. Gerardus D. Boew, Christian extrraordinaire and tenured professor of something at Baldwin-Wallace College, shows us the proof:
http://www.geocentricity.com/
Yep. Welcome to the Biblically geocentric cosmos, bitches! As the True Christians know, when the Bible, every English word of which is literally true, says in Joshua that the sun stopped moving, it means in space, not relative to the sky. So HAH! Proof. Details are left as an exercise for the student.
[Imagine a decal on my Geocentric Metro, showing a styilized Christian fish shape character grinning madly while pissing on a Copericus logo.]
.
Seanly said,
December 10, 2007 at 21:00
oh, thanks for tripling the power of teh stoopid. I will have to wait until I get home to complete the melting of my once powerful brain.
Comrade Rutherford said,
December 10, 2007 at 21:03
Proof that God did NOT invent the universe: Human genitalia.
Obviously there was no intelligence behind the design and placement of human genitalia.
Men have these fragile dangly bits that are extremely painful if caught on, say, berry bushes while foraging. And they don’t work if they can’t hang suspended outside the body - that is, that they were ‘designed’ to NOT work at regular body temperature. Yeah, thats really intelligent design!
Women’s genitalia rest directly on the ground when they sit, picking up dirt and whatever else is on the ground. That crud can get further inside and cause infections. And what’s so ‘intelligent’ about having women bleed every month?
Who’s idea was it to put the enterainment center and the sewer system in the same place?
If you, and intelligent being, were to design a new species from scratch (which you can do because you are an omnipotent sky fairy), would you ever make something this incredibly stupid???
But American ‘christians’ are trained from birth to suspend all disbelief, indeed they are encouraged to believe the patently and obviously false while rejecting the painfully obvious truth.
For more debunking see:
http://www.talkorigins.org/indexcc/list.html
God said,
December 10, 2007 at 21:03
i have never geard any scientist say that god did not ‘create’ the big bang.
That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you! It wasn’t even on purpose. I was just trying to wire the subwoofer. There’s still a nebula around the outlet. I haven’t touched a thing since then. Please hear me out on this…
Gavin M. said,
December 10, 2007 at 21:06
[changed the update a couple of times, btw]
zsa said,
December 10, 2007 at 21:06
MFA, that’s not a spoof site? It’s fer reals?
OMFG. I simply don’t know what to say.
Arky - Cthulhusexual said,
December 10, 2007 at 21:13
I’m not going near anything called The Infamous Banana Theory. Sounds like a game played at Young Republican shindigs.
Xenos said,
December 10, 2007 at 21:18
Of course, according to the bible, pi=3.
MFA said,
December 10, 2007 at 21:24
Zsa: Sadly, yes. Once Bibliodolators have fully accepted an untenable position (that every word of the Bible is literally true, no matter what one’s lying eyes might say–a view upon which their very concept of self relative to the cosmos depends–the mind becomes capable of no end of effort in order to defend the position, and they become caught in their own tautology..
Jesus wept.
.
mikey said,
December 10, 2007 at 21:24
Ahh, man, this is nothing. I heard on NPR over the weekend about these hindu fundies who are all in a tither over the Indian government’s plan to dig a ship channel around the un-navigable part of the coast by Sri Lanka.
See, you just CAN’T do that, ’cause the reason it’s shallow and non navigable is NOT silting and sediment and shoaling that the stupid scientists talk about. Oh, no, what are you, stupid?
Lord RAM had to get over there to fight a demon army long ago, dontchaknow, so he had his MONKEY ARMY build a bridge. What you have is the remains of Lord RAM’s ancient bridge. And to dig a ship channel thru it would be sacrilege.
I don’t know what’s wrong with people, but I’m rapidly learning to hate them…
mikey
Troll, The Ancient Yuletide Carol said,
December 10, 2007 at 21:26
Next thing you know, you’ll be denying that Mary rode Joseph’s ass. Then, you’ll deny the virgin birth. Then you’ll deny Santa Claus and, just when it seems you could sink no lower, you’ll deny Dr BLT.
But he’s just completed a Christmas CD featuring 25, mostly original tracks, and he’s already started working on one of two Christmas releases for 2008, entitled Big Bulbs from Dr BLT’s Novelty Christmas Tree.
If you liked You’re Not the Kinda Ho that Santa Had in Mind, feel free to sample songs like Santa Lost His Ho in Sydney, Black Santa, Prancer’s on Prozac, and (She’s bin) Christmas Stalking at his record store right here:
http://www.drblt.net
Last Christmas, it was not only Christmas that was attacked right here at Sadly No. Dr BLT was attacked for shameless self-promotion, and no matter how much shame he displayed, he was still regarded in this way.
So this year he’s appointed me to be the bearer of good gifts. MERRY politically CHRISTMAS!
Xenos said,
December 10, 2007 at 21:29
Man, we don’t get any monkey armies in the Episcopal Church.
I feel totally ripped off.
Righteous Bubba said,
December 10, 2007 at 21:31
Lord RAM had to get over there to fight a demon army long ago, dontchaknow, so he had his MONKEY ARMY build a bridge. What you have is the remains of Lord RAM’s ancient bridge. And to dig a ship channel thru it would be sacrilege.
I don’t see a problem with rehiring the monkey army to dig the channel. The monkey unemployment situation is terrible and this could help many a monkey family pay off their monkeycopters.
Legalize said,
December 10, 2007 at 21:38
That settles it. I’m signing up for the Monkey Army faith.
Xenos said,
December 10, 2007 at 21:40
Monkey Army Envy.
Look for it in the DSM-V.
Kathleen said,
December 10, 2007 at 21:40
I’m not going to fall for a banana in the tailpipe!!
witkacy said,
December 10, 2007 at 21:41
Dear Scientistmistses:
You wuz all been done been LEFT BEHIND!
Kathleen said,
December 10, 2007 at 21:43
I wish I was Left Behind! The problem is that we haven’t, and all these jokers are still hanging around!
Comrade Rutherford said,
December 10, 2007 at 21:44
NOT related to dredging off-coast, but…
Hindu gods summoned to Indian court: report
Published: Friday December 7, 2007
http://rawstory.com/news/afp/Hindu_gods_summoned_to_Indian_court_12072007.html
Two popular Hindu gods have been summoned to a court in India as witnesses in a property dispute, the Press Trust of India reported Friday.
PhysioProf said,
December 10, 2007 at 21:46
What I want to know is why god hates Saturn so much, that he tipped the fucker over.
Comrade Rutherford said,
December 10, 2007 at 21:47
Go here to sign up with the Monkey god:
http://www.hanuman.com/
Comrade Rutherford said,
December 10, 2007 at 21:49
American Christians: Incest is sanctioned, indeed, demanded by God!
Here is the text of a display at the Creationism museum explaining how incest is mandated by their ‘god’:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/mavra_chang/897966183/in/set-72157601005392540/
Where did Cain get his wife?
Cain went out from the presence of the Lord and dwelt in the land of Nod, on the east of Eden. And Cain knew his wife and she conceived and bore Enoch (Genesis 4:16-17)
The Bible teaches that Adam was “the first man” and that Eve was the “mother of all living” (1 Corinthians 15:45; Genesis 3:20). All humans are descendants of these two people.
Genesis 5:4 teaches that Adam and Eve had sons and daughters. So, originally, brothers had to marry sisters.
Before jumping to conclusions, realize that:
1. All humans are related. So whenever someone gets married, they marry their relative.
2. One of the most honored men of the Bible, Abraham, was married to his half-sister. It wasn’t until much later that God instructed the Israelites not to marry close relatives – a principle we follow today.
3. When closer relatives marry today, there is an increased likelihood of deformities in the offspring because of mutations (mistakes) that have accumulated in the human race since Adam’s sin. The closer the relatives, the more likelihood such people will have similar mistakes. If these mutations are inherited from both parents, then there is an increased probability of major psychological problems.
4. The farther back in history one goes (back towards the Fall of Adam), the less of a problem mutations in the human population would be. At the time of Adam and Eve’s children, there would have been very few mutations in the human genome – thus close relatives could marry, and provided it was one man for one woman (the biblical doctrine of marriage), there was nothing wrong with close relatives marrying in early biblical history.
5. In present usage, the word incest includes both the marriage of close relatives and any sexual activity between close relatives who are not married. Sexual activity outside the bounds of marriage, whether between relatives or not, has been wrong fro the beginning. Marriage between close relatives, however, was not a problem in early biblical history.
6. Since God is the One who defined marriage in the first place, God’s Word is the only standard for defining proper marriage. People who do not accept the Bible as their absolute authority have no basis for condemning someone like Cain marrying his sister.
Marco said,
December 10, 2007 at 22:00
My favorite was the “some moons rotate in the opposite direction” (or some shiz like that) so obviously, God made them.
These people would really freak out if they flushed a toilet in Australia.
God said,
December 10, 2007 at 22:10
What I want to know is why god hates Saturn so much, that he tipped the fucker over.
Now dammit, I didn’t tip it over. Listen: Gravity happens, but it’s a random and beautiful universe within that framework. Chill out.
God said,
December 10, 2007 at 22:13
I don’t hate anybody.
St. Vincent Ferrer, Patron Saint of Plumbers said,
December 10, 2007 at 22:20
These people would really freak out if they flushed a toilet in Australia.
The direction toilets flush is almost entirely due to the architecture of the toilet.
Amen.
Doctorb Science said,
December 10, 2007 at 22:21
Whaddya mean, one man and one woman? Esau, Jacob, Ashur, Gideon, Elkanah, Ahab, David and Solomon all had multiple (from 2 to 700+ in the case of Solomon) wives. Plus there’s concubinage, taking and marrying prisoners of war, buying your rape victim from her father, and probably other great kinds of marriage that the Bible endorses but I really don’t feel like reading about them right now.
Doctorb Science said,
December 10, 2007 at 22:21
ODIN!
http://www.thepaincomics.com/weekly041229.htm
moondancer said,
December 10, 2007 at 22:40
Well that convinced me. Whats the number for Huckleberrys’ campaign again?
Steve said,
December 10, 2007 at 22:48
Wow, I think I’m dumber now after having watch that. I’m going to go fail my astrophysics test now.
El Cid said,
December 10, 2007 at 22:51
So now you cynics would have us believe that the majesty of toilet flushing is due to some soulless hunk of porcelain, instead of leagues of angels pushing our turds down the drain in a harmony of fecal beauty.
Arky - Cthulhusexual said,
December 10, 2007 at 22:54
You know, I always thought the story of Cain in the Land of Nod (Afganistan = Opium perhaps?) was one of those delightful little inconsitencies in the Bible that showed it was once a collection of folk tales about a specific tribe: “Here’s how we came into existence, as opposed to those smelly heathens over there.”
The CR really shouldn’t have tried to close the bloophole on this one. Not only is it just gross and pathetic: “God said it’s ok!” but even this little secularist knows this theory isn’t supported by the Bible itself.
The proper chronology is: Adam and Eve had Cain and Abel. Those two sons had their little quarrel and God told Cain to take off. Cain took himself from God’s presense (How? Isn’t God every where? Kind of suggests Cain went off to hang out with the smelly heathens) met his unnamed wife and they had kids. After that Adam had Seth and then a bunch of sons and daughters.
At least that’s the story according to the Bible. Next those sinners at the CR will suggest God rested on the second day!
But I still want to know if the CR talks about the giants.
Principal Blackman said,
December 10, 2007 at 22:55
OT: Mark Noonan: “Does Oprah endorsing Obama equal an illegal campaign contribution?” He’s actually being serious about that. Even for Noonan, that’s fucking stupid.
Arky - Cthulhusexual said,
December 10, 2007 at 23:09
Actually, according to the KJV Adam and Eve didn’t even have their third child until after Cain’s great to the fourth times grandchildren were born.
Sorry, thumping Bible Thumpers with the Bible is a hobby o’ mine.
a different brad said,
December 10, 2007 at 23:14
There’s one accurate part of this we’re all overlooking.
The solar system did not evolve. Evolution is a process which involves biological life forms.
It probably makes the mouthbreathers they’re targeting automatically agree with their ‘arguments’ to call it evolution, tho.
Also, as mentioned, that guy has a british accent. If someone with a british accent says something you think is true, you have empirical proof.
Taking issue with individual points is like arguing with a racist; just being taken seriously is a victory for em.
These people are going to lead to the extinction of humanity, tho. This much stupid has to be lethal eventually.
trashdog said,
December 10, 2007 at 23:20
My favorite part was when their expert biologist/geneticist admited that he had no idea how other scientists came up with 98% like chimps stat (which btw came from early DNA hybridization studies, IRC). Oh, and also when they called neandertals syphallitic cave people.
Spirula said,
December 10, 2007 at 23:26
So now you cynics would have us believe that the majesty of toilet flushing is due to some soulless hunk of porcelain, instead of leagues of angels pushing our turds down the drain in a harmony of fecal beauty.
I think this calls for the long overdue “Intellegent Design of Feces” video.
Hoosier X said,
December 10, 2007 at 23:33
I shall have the monkey butlers set it up in the DVD player after they have finished serving me dinner.
Paddy Mac said,
December 10, 2007 at 23:35
Maybe we could reform the Monkey Army into monkey butlers? I know the military-to-civilian transition can be painful, but perhaps, with some divine inspiration…
fleinn said,
December 10, 2007 at 23:45
Simple. The creationists’ message is so unbelievably incredible, and so completely impossible to explain, that it proves His intervention. (Suck it, science!)
mat said,
December 10, 2007 at 23:45
Jesus freaks talking about science is like that tubby goof in the thead below this one talking about sex.
Doctorb Science said,
December 10, 2007 at 23:46
More and more, the Monkey Army is doing public works-type projects rather than straight-ahead fighting. I mean, the bridge building thing right there, you know, is more Corps of Engineers than Infantry or what have you. There’s still certainly a need for monkeys in combat, but also in organizations like Screech for America or the Works Primates Administration.
Doctorb Science said,
December 10, 2007 at 23:48
This sort of reasoning, like “irreducible complexity”, is just a rephrasing of the classic fallacy Argument from Ignorance.
pedestrian said,
December 10, 2007 at 23:49
Principal Blackman:
That is some pretty funny stupid. Follow up question: are Bernie and Phyl guilty of tax evasion for not reporting New England Patriot Vince Wilfork’s endorsement of their furniture as income? Discuss.
c said,
December 10, 2007 at 23:53
Y’all don’t appreciate the genius of this.
Used to be, God the Creator was evident in order, simplicity, logic connection, mechanism. How could all these pieces have come together so perfectly if not for a master engineer?
That is just SO last-millennium.
Today’s God is a monster-scale interior decorator. A quirky, challenging installation artist. You recognize His work by its taste. Only a boring watchmaker-type engineer would have all those planets spinning the same way, or use the same materials. God sweeps in and says no, darlings, let’s give this one a nice ring, spin that one backward, and I want some different textures here, some rock, some gas, a little liquid, Not too much — we’re still going for a postminimalist thing against the inky backdrop — but enough to give each planet a little character, to bring this system alive.
Now admittedly His invention failed a little with Neptune but they can’t all be hits, and He had a lot of other projects going. Word is His work in 47 Ursae Majoris is just stunning, I mean it will make you rethink your whole concept of “solar system.”
actor212 said,
December 10, 2007 at 23:55
Talk about Extreme Make-Overs…
themann1086 said,
December 10, 2007 at 23:56
It’s wingnut logic applied to science!
“If not X, then bananaorcradio!”
KnightErrant said,
December 11, 2007 at 0:06
Oh, bosh, I can beat that. There is a website (www.fixedearth.com) that proves with scientific certainty (the Bible tells them so) that the Sun revolves around the Earth, the Universe ends just past the orbit of the moon, and all of this heliocentric stuff is just a Jewish conspiracy to undermine Christianity.
Colleen said,
December 11, 2007 at 0:20
Did that video make my head hurt? Yeah. I’m going along with this comment here, “Roland, the Headless Thompson Gunner said,
December 10, 2007 at 17:53
Am the only one who thinks the “Religous Right” has jumped the shark?
When they attack science, which they don’t undertand, they look silly. When they attack the legitamacy of Islam, they undermine the legitamacy of religion in general. They paint themselves into corners with no-compromise positions on issues like abortion and gay rights. They continue to espouse a political agenda that is counter to the teaching so Jesus… and on and on the list grows.
The rise of the “stewardship” Evangelicals and the “New” Evangelicals, as well as the increase in athiests and non-churchgoers… these aren’t anomalies, they are the future.” Here, here Roland! Thanks for all the laughs on this thread. I feel so, um, er, normal? Yeah, that’s the word I’m looking for.
PaminBB said,
December 11, 2007 at 0:33
t4toby said
“ave these dickweeds ever heard of empirical evidence? ”
No. The magic of homeschooling.
humbert dinglepencker said,
December 11, 2007 at 0:39
A spaceman who came from Uranus,
Had a hypertoroidial anus,
It could fold in or out
Form a drain or a spout,
And what he did with it truly was heinous.
Bistroist said,
December 11, 2007 at 0:47
Hey this is great! And you can apply this logic to every day life too! Like, I have no fucking idea how my wallet ended up under the couch wrapped in a pair of ladies underwear with fifty bucks missing, so obviously, GOD DID IT. See, I know I didn’t do it, and therefore the only other explanation is GOD DID IT. There is no other explanation other than GOD DID IT. And we don’t even need to ask WHY God put my waller under the couch wrapped in ladies underwear and stole fifty bucks from me, because he’s fucking GOD and he works in mysterious ways and shit and it would be all kinds of presumptuous to fucking question His wallet-hiding, money-stealing intentions.
Bah, this is old news. In the Iliad, XIX 85-94, Agamemnon, trying to dodge the responsibility for getting into a stupid and childish pissing-match with Achilles, gets his blameshiftin’ relijin on (and goes on like this for the next 50 verses or so):
(Lang’s translation - not because it’s particularly good (it isn’t), but because it’s available online. Original here)
lawnguylander said,
December 11, 2007 at 0:47
C,
I think if you polled Michael Medved you’d find that he shares your vision of the creation of the universe as some kind of Funkyzeit mit Gott episode. He pretty much called God a homo a little while back:
Galactic Dustbin said,
December 11, 2007 at 0:50
It makes me want Huckleberry to get the nomination, so he and his followers can get the decisive drubbing they are asking for.
with our luck Huckleberry will win and in 4 years time there will be fighting along the Mississippi between The Radical Baptist Front of America, The American Baptist Radical Front, The Baptist Front of Radical America and the 501st Stormtrooper Legion.
Johnny Coelacanth said,
December 11, 2007 at 0:51
The fossil record is a tool of Satan, planted in the earth to make people doubt the word of God. There are no ancient fish, we were all created a mere 6000 years ago. I remember it well. First I wasn’t then poof! there I was, swimming along dreaming of trilobites. Which also never existed.
comsympinko said,
December 11, 2007 at 0:52
Soooo……
The random nature of interplanetary movement proves orderly design, then.
If I were god I would have made all the things go, y’know, in the same direction, not all willy-nilly and helter-skelter.
Makes me think that god’s a pretty lousy engineer.
And if you haven’t seen the banana theory explained, you really do have to click on the other link provided.
It makes the short version look like genius.
J— said,
December 11, 2007 at 0:52
Oh, bosh, I can beat that. There is a website (www.fixedearth.com)…
To the archives!
Galactic Dustbin said,
December 11, 2007 at 0:53
“empirical evidence”
Sounds French to me. Let us see your Homeland Security Citizenship Card….
comsympinko said,
December 11, 2007 at 0:53
Galactic Dustbin–
Don’t forget the Nauvoo Legion. The Mormons will want to throw their hat into the ring as well following Multiple Mitt’s humiliation.
Sarcastro said,
December 11, 2007 at 0:58
They didn’t give us nearly enough of Psalm 19. Here’s 4-6 to compliment passages 1-3 which they provided:
Yep, the sun revolves around the Earth.
Thankyoucomeagain.
comsympinko said,
December 11, 2007 at 0:58
You gotta love how the wingers like to drag out smooth-talking Brits to make their truly insane points.
The clown in the video, VD Hansen and Poodle Boy have all soothed the mouth-breathing idiot masses with their cultured Oxbridge-speak.
‘Cause when it comes out in Pastor Yokel Jim’s Low Ozarks accent it just sounds too much like the bullshit it is.
Galactic Dustbin said,
December 11, 2007 at 0:59
Don’t forget the Nauvoo Legion. The Mormons will want to throw their hat into the ring as well following Multiple Mitt’s humiliation.
Sure everyone is invited! The American Secular War will be the last employment opportunity in this Century!
Me I am looking to take to the seas with a hearty bad of pirates, just as the FSM foretold.
Gary Ruppert said,
December 11, 2007 at 1:07
The fact is, liberals have no facts. They shout and scream and use their bias to deny the reality of God, and have not addressed one single point raised by the scientist in the video. They just dismiss them out of hand, and they have NO PROOF of evolution, of the cosmos, or of life. Same things.
comsympinko said,
December 11, 2007 at 1:08
Gary Ruppert–
And you’ve put you proof of a god’s existence where, exactly?
Malignant Bouffant said,
December 11, 2007 at 1:26
Lesly Sez: This video was created for Christians with low self-esteem.
MB addz:
ChristianityReligion was created for people w/ low self-esteem & cognition issues.Yolande said,
December 11, 2007 at 1:30
Holy mother of god…
Ok ok… this is just lame. So they say Evolution is a lie! Okay, well I believe it MIGHT have happened in some sort of way. Maybe not the exact same way I learned in university, but maybe some kind of way that comes close. Or whatever, at least in university they also teach that what is told might change in a week, a month or a decade. We are constantly discovering new stuff, constantly adjusting our opinion basing ourselves on the facts we find. Did anyone mention in church that Bible was written by humans and that they in fact can make writing and interpretation mistakes? (translation too huh)
Now what about the evolution we are currently witnessing? We could argue on the lack of paleological facts for hours, but there are certainly moths in england that have evolved in response to pollution! The problem is that it is hard to believe that things change when they hardly change in a human lifetime. But we are collecting datas folks, yes we are. The more scientists will analyse their environment, the larger our point of view will be. And then paleo-scientists will kick your sorry ass!
And what is this Archeopteryx thing about? If you read recent articles instead of having nice choir practices at the church (no offense intended, choirs are great when they sing in my mom’s cd player for christmas) you would see that WE KNOW. And nobody cried.
You say: your articles don’t come to a conclusion that fits everything, burn them!
I say: So is it really translated “a virgin” or “a woman”? Because that changes a few things…
Malignant Bouffant said,
December 11, 2007 at 1:38
tb: [R]ings on some (BUT NOT ALL!!!) planets etc.
Actually, all planets (maybe not Mercury) have rings, that is, a bunch of space crap orbiting the planet above the equator. It’s just that some planets have more & bigger crap orbiting them, making it visible to the eye w/ even a crummy telescope.
And most Xtians are like that too, only it doesn’t even take a ’scope to spot the crap orbiting them.
El Cid said,
December 11, 2007 at 1:49
Wait — you mean God wanted His magic to be proven by mortal man, but simply was unable to think of how to do so more clearly?
Like, the best He could do to demonstrate that His magic, and not some sort of non-magical process, was responsible for the Universe was to, what, set a few planets’ orbits different?
Where’s the A material? Where are the giant flaming letters in orbit saying “Here Mah Magic Kthxbye”???
And if He didn’t want to leave all sorts of evidence of His magic, you’re telling me he forgot to straighten up the f***ing planets? Ooops?
Which is it? Is your God weak or stupid? And it’s not me giving these choices, it’s you.
Paddy Mac said,
December 11, 2007 at 1:58
“Which is it? Is your God weak or stupid? And it’s not me giving these choices, it’s you.”
Heck, in Ye Olde Testymint, God mostly leaves his speaking to crazy old guys who’d been out in the Negev far too long. Weak, stupid, or lazy? This old-time religion just leaves me filled with miracle and wonder, or something. Something resembling monkey butlers.
commie atheist said,
December 11, 2007 at 2:07
Look at any Christian sect which insists on a literal interpretation of the Bible. They are very authoritarian, and a bit cult like, controlling members very closely. On the other hand, churches which allow a non-literal interpretation can be quite liberal, and give their members much more leeway in their personal behaviour, preferring broad guidelines to a huge rulebook, and are generally a lot less dogmatic about scripture and its application to the modern world.
As far as I’m concerned, it’s all codswallop.
Gary Ruppert said,
December 11, 2007 at 2:08
The fact is, there is no evolution we are currently witnessing. All is as God intended it. And the Earth is ours to use for our needs. There is no global warming, nor should there be any concern about pollution.
Righteous Bubba said,
December 11, 2007 at 2:10
The fact is, there is no evolution we are currently witnessing.
Had your flu shot this year?
Cole Sear said,
December 11, 2007 at 2:12
You know, we really should consider herding all the hack scientists and hucksters into a camp and gassing them. In the long run, we will all be better off.
Fozzetti said,
December 11, 2007 at 2:14
I just read “jumped the shark” as “Jumped the snark” Heh.
mikey said,
December 11, 2007 at 2:15
Pretty sure the hack scientists are not the ones we should fear the most.
Nor deal with first…
mikey
Righteous Bubba said,
December 11, 2007 at 2:15
You know, we really should consider herding all the hack scientists and hucksters into a camp and gassing them.
You know you can just buy new lampshades, right?
Smiling Mortician said,
December 11, 2007 at 2:16
Huckleberry
Anybody else hear NPR’s interview today with evangelical voters in Iowa? They don’t even know his fucking name — one woman called him “Hucklebee,” acknowledged that she knew absolutely fuckall about him, but was planning to throw him her vote ’cause he sounds like a good christian. Then her husband said he was waffling among (well, he said “between,” but why pick on him for his lexical ignorance?) Thompson, Huckabee and McCain (!) because he was a disappointed Brownback voter and didn’t know where to turn because he wasn’t convinced Romney “could leave his religion out of it” when it comes to the duties of teh prez.
Please shoot me now.
Righteous Bubba said,
December 11, 2007 at 2:24
There once was an Iowa hick
Who pondered a political pick.
“The ones whut ain’t saved
Are shorely depraved
And the ones whut are probly suck dick.”
CHOAD! said,
December 11, 2007 at 2:25
I see that the polarization of American culture continues apace.
We Like the Moon, Cos It Was Made by God! said,
December 11, 2007 at 2:29
[...] do evangelical types hate science so [...]
JakeS said,
December 11, 2007 at 2:41
My favorite quote: “Growing a large gaseous planet posses an insermountable hurdle for evolutionists”
Of course. Biological evolution contains elaborate explanationitory models of planetary formation. And if there is anything wrong with what Darwin wrote about Saturn, then dogs could not become cats.
And all those SHOULDs that are easily refuted by a basic understanding of physics! AAAGH!
“According to evolution, if people came from apes, there SHOULD not be any more apes…”
Weakly said,
December 11, 2007 at 2:42
Why is this creationist video talking about ribosomes, cell membranes and the endoplasmic reticulum? I don’t remember any of that being in the bible!
Righteous Bubba said,
December 11, 2007 at 2:44
Why is this creationist video talking about ribosomes, cell membranes and the endoplasmic reticulum? I don’t remember any of that being in the bible!
Everyone skips the begats.
Moonbootica, Heterodox said,
December 11, 2007 at 2:52
Hard to believe that those Creatinoists videos are not a parody, I mean the utter serious tone they take on their nonsense beggars belief
I mean they are painful to watch, one feels like ones brain cells are killing themseleves out of watching so much stupidity.
Smiling Mortician said,
December 11, 2007 at 2:53
Ooh, I love the begats. I could read ‘em all day long.
Righteous Bubba said,
December 11, 2007 at 2:56
Heh. You gotta take out the www in the URL if you want to steal my name properly.
C. elegans said,
December 11, 2007 at 2:59
But, but… I have a fossil trilobite on my desk at home! How can such things be?
jerkvision.com » Awesome said,
December 11, 2007 at 2:59
[...] Sadly, No - Jesus Rode A Dinosaur — In Space [...]
Moonbootica, Heterodox said,
December 11, 2007 at 3:00
so if the universe is not the same, then doesn’t that kind of disapprove the idea that some Sky Being created it?
because they are all about everything being perfect, so if it isn’t perfect therefore some ‘creator’ couldn’t of had a hand in it.
Righteous Bubba said,
December 11, 2007 at 3:07
Could a fake Righteous Bubba do THIS????
[does something]
What say you now, charlatan?
Righteous Bubba said,
December 11, 2007 at 3:09
I’d go easier on the commas.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
December 11, 2007 at 3:10
Saully Ruppert probably thinks those commas are getting what they deserve.
Righteous Bubba said,
December 11, 2007 at 3:11
I’d also recommend some spell-check and semi-colon abuse. I’ll leave regular colon abuse to you.
mikey said,
December 11, 2007 at 3:15
Fake Righteous Bubba.
Doesn’t rhyme. Isn’t funny. Just can’t be…
mikey
Righteous Bubba said,
December 11, 2007 at 3:15
I tend not to use the word “troll” as an epithet. Mix it up a bit and swear more.
Jillian said,
December 11, 2007 at 3:18
I have come to almost hate the name “Big Bang”. Because it implies “explosion”, and - if you are a Big Banger - you don’t think the universe began in an “explosion”, but in a massive, nearly instant, expansion.
It’s not the same thing at all.
Righteous Bubba said,
December 11, 2007 at 3:19
Doesn’t rhyme. Isn’t funny.
I admit I was hoping for more. It’s like having Julia Gorin pretend to be me.
Righteous Bubba said,
December 11, 2007 at 3:25
I don’t use “Xtian” or “assclown” much. Something involving “shit” would be better.
jeff said,
December 11, 2007 at 3:27
The hell? They can’t really…I mean that just not even close to wrong. Do you think, um. Hmm. Hmmmm.
Alpine Saul said,
December 11, 2007 at 3:29
Slalom, gentlemen.
Gary Ruppert said,
December 11, 2007 at