Dec
9

Instant Sex




Posted at 19:15 by Tintin
David Gelertner
Above: Sex Guru David Gelernter

How could I possibly pass up an article called “Instant Sex“? Even if it does appear in the Weekly Standard and even if it is written by that burning hunk o’manlove David Gelernter, certainly “Instant Sex” had to be worth a read. Sadly, no. I probably should have realized that in the pages of the Weekly Standard instant sex would, like international diplomacy, civil rights, habeas corpus and social security, be a really bad thing.

Now why instant sex is so awful is something Gelernter doesn’t fully explain, probably because instant sex is something that, for a variety of reasons, he hasn’t ever experienced first-hand (unless you count his own hand.) So Gelernter resorts to some staggeringly awful metaphors:

Instant sex and romantic love can’t coexist any more than hurricanes and forest fires. One drives out the other.

Hey, but what if the hurricane is romantic love and the forest fire is the instant sex? Then the instant sex doesn’t destroy the romantic love, does it? I bet Gelernter didn’t think of that.

But the wingnutaphors have just started:

Why can’t they coexist? Because, just as green leaves transform sunlight to useful energy in a process called photosynthesis, human beings transform longing for an adored object into a heightened state of consciousness in a process called falling in love.

I’m sorry but comparing love to photosynthesis is, well, just icky. It’s like comparing romantic love to, say, fungal anastomosis. Ewww. Given the choice between instant sex and photosynthesis, I think I’ll pick the instant sex.

Thwarted sexual desire is nearly as necessary to young people as food and shelter.

That sounds to me like a desperate rationalization of an unhappy adolescence, but even if its true, I suppose that means you can start the instant sex business at age 35 or so. Yippee!

Premarital, premature sex drains the power reserve that would have propelled them into emotional (versus mere physical) adulthood.

And it makes you grow hair on your hands, lose track meets, and go blind, not necessarily in that order.

236 Comments »

  1. random idiot said,

    December 9, 2007 at 19:23

    Now THERE is a man that lost his virginity in his 30s.

  2. Davis said,

    December 9, 2007 at 19:24

    So why the the Intelligent Designer make us so horny when we were teenagers? I don’t get it.

  3. dBa said,

    December 9, 2007 at 19:27

    Premature sex? I’ve had a lot of sex, and I’m telling you none if was premature. Now Premature Endings For Sex might be another story, of which I’m reminded of on a regular basis..

  4. fardels bear said,

    December 9, 2007 at 19:28

    Typical wingnut: “My personal feelings are NOT my personal feeling. They are God’s Immutable Laws! I deny that what you claim about your sexual experiences can be true because what you claim is IMPOSSIBLE according to God’s Immutable Laws!!”

    Jerk.

  5. DrDick said,

    December 9, 2007 at 19:33

    Good God almighty. Gelernter is a walking advertisement for the need for mandatory fact based sex ed classes in the public schools. “Falling in love” is in fact a biochemical response promoting short-term (ca. 4 years) pair bonding between men and women to provide assistance to females with young. Based on primate models, this process is probably facilitated and promoted by casual sex. Thwarted sexual desire has not been shown scientifically to produce any socially or psychologically beneficial effect, but is strongly implicated in a wide array of psychosexual dystopic behaviors (see sex scandals, Republican).

    Random idiot – I will give you odds he still hasn’t lost it.

  6. Gundamhead said,

    December 9, 2007 at 19:40

    “Premarital, premature sex drains the power reserve …”
    Don’t forget our bodily essences.

  7. J— said,

    December 9, 2007 at 19:43

    Instant sex and romantic love can’t coexist any more than hurricanes and forest fires. One drives out the other.

    Only forest fires can prevent hurricanes.

  8. Jillian said,

    December 9, 2007 at 19:43

    Ugh. Like I wasn’t depressed enough before, now we get to talk about all that great sex that everybody else is getting.

    What’s a girl got to do to get a few dates with a smart, funny, politically astute and progressive guy? Sheesh.

  9. John Sundman said,

    December 9, 2007 at 19:49

    References to Prof Gelertner’s having sex with his hand are perhaps unfortunate.

  10. gbear said,

    December 9, 2007 at 19:53

    Compare and contrast:

    Gelertner’s primary concern is that Premarital, premature sex drains the power reserve that would have propelled them into emotional (versus mere physical) adulthood.

    General Ripper’s primary concern is his assertion that water fluoridation is ‘a Communist conspiracy to sap and impurify all of our precious bodily fluids,’ of which he was made aware when his ‘loss of essence’ during sexual intercourse greatly fatigued him. He continues to explain that women ‘seek the life essence’ and then states, ‘I do not avoid women…but I do deny them my essence’. (wikipedia)

  11. gbear said,

    December 9, 2007 at 19:55

    Ahhh, Gundamhead beat me to it.

  12. Chairman Meow said,

    December 9, 2007 at 19:58

    Gelernter: “[Picasso's] girlfriend and sexual partner Eva Gouel” (emphasis mine).

    Man, that Picasso, what a lucky guy! His girlfriend actually had sex with him?

  13. MrWonderful said,

    December 9, 2007 at 19:59

    “human beings transform longing for an adored object into a heightened state of consciousness in a process called falling in love.”

    The Stupid is strong with this one.

    “an adored object” is not the issue. Once the object is “adored,” the process of “falling in love” is a fait accompli. What he means is “a desired object.”

    This is the sexual theory of a repressed 14-year old reassuring himself that his inability to score with chicks makes him morally superior. It’s also the Theory on Love from a techno-geek who has apparently never had an actual sexual or love relationship, never read a decent novel about emotions, and (as was noted above) is unaware of the fact that there’s a difference between his subjective, paltry experience, and the larger reality of the rest of the human race.

    What a complete and total maroon. Harsh words, yes. And I meant them sting.

  14. Richard Thompson has Read About Love and said,

    December 9, 2007 at 20:11

    Asked my daddy when I was thirteen
    Daddy can you tell me what love really means?
    His eyes went glassy, not a word was said
    He poured another beer and his face turned red
    Asked my mother, she acted the same
    She never looked up, she seemed so ashamed
    Asked my teacher, he reached for the cane
    He said, don’t mention that subject again
    So I read about love-read it in a magazine
    Read about love-Cosmo and Seventeen
    Read about love-In the back of a
    Hustler, Hustler, Hustler
    So I-know what makes girls sigh
    And I-know why girls cry
    So don’t tell me I don’t understand
    What makes a woman and what makes a man
    I’ve never been to heaven but at lest
    I’ve read about love
    My big brother told me when I was fourteen
    it’s time I showed you what love really means
    Girls like kissing and romance too
    But a boy’s got to know what a man’s got to do
    He gave me a book, the cover was plain
    Written by a doctor with a German name
    It had glossy pictures, serious stuff
    I readd it seven times, then I knew it well enough
    Read about love-now I’ve got you
    Read about love-where I want you
    Read about love-got you on the
    test-bed, test-bed, test-bed
    So why-don’t you moan and sigh
    Why-do you sit there and cry?
    I do everything I’m supposed to do
    If something’s wrong, then it must be you
    I know the ways of a woman
    I’ve read about love
    When I touch you there it’s supposed to feel nice
    That’s what it said in reader’s advice
    I’ve never been to heaven but at least
    I’ve read about love

  15. Djur said,

    December 9, 2007 at 20:11

    John Sundman: As far as I know, people have two hands.

  16. random idiot said,

    December 9, 2007 at 20:18

    “adored OBJECT”

    If he actually had an adored object that wasn’t inanimate, he would have got a well deserved slap for that description.

    His entire article is heavy on quotations from stodgy literature written by the sexually repressed, and short on any actual discussion of human nature and desires.

    I think the last thing he wants to do is acknowledge that the women he lusts after are human beings with their own wants, desires, and feelings, instead of being merely a convenient plot device in the story of his life.

  17. Saul said,

    December 9, 2007 at 20:20

    Shalom gentelmen.

  18. Saul said,

    December 9, 2007 at 20:21

    The bottom line is, God intended sex to be between one man and one woman in the bonds of marriage. Premarital sex is a sin against God.

  19. Richard Thompson has Read About Love and said,

    December 9, 2007 at 20:22

    Thwarted sexual desire has not been shown scientifically to produce any socially or psychologically beneficial effect, but is strongly implicated in a wide array of psychosexual dystopic behaviors (see sex scandals, Republican).

    Dr. Dick, you MUST click to this link:

    http://www.crooksandliars.com/2007/12/09/fox-news-captions/

  20. gbear said,

    December 9, 2007 at 20:24

    oops. above RT posting was gbear. Saul, you need to go look at it too.

  21. Linnaeus said,

    December 9, 2007 at 20:26

    Ugh. Like I wasn’t depressed enough before, now we get to talk about all that great sex that everybody else is getting.

    This is pretty much how I felt with respect to sex from my late teens through a good portion of my 20s. While I understand that it isn’t always in one’s interest to have sex whenever one wants it, i.e., when there’s too great a potential for emotional fallout, STIs, etc., thwarted sexual desire as a general circumstance sucks. And not in a good way.

  22. tb said,

    December 9, 2007 at 20:27

    Ahm, haha, instant sex? Like Ovaltine or something? The hell?
    I think this is one of those type of deals where having the kind of mind that would think up a phrase like that renders it dead fucking certain that you will never get any of the thing the phrase itself is meant to describe.

  23. Saul said,

    December 9, 2007 at 20:27

    That is just one piece of a news program that was taken out of context without any substance. What is the context? We don’t know because the full story isn’t there. However I can assure you that if Niel Cavuto or anyone else on Fox News promoted something as evil as sex with children they would be fired in two seconds flat.

  24. MrWonderful said,

    December 9, 2007 at 20:29

    gbear–

    Don’t waste your electrons on “Saul.” He’s still addressing us as “gentlemen” when some of the most active and vigorous commenters here are women.

    Better he should go practice the Orthodox Jewish prayer thanking God (or “G-d”) that he wasn’t born a woman.

  25. Jrod said,

    December 9, 2007 at 20:30

    This man is literally living in a fantasy world.. He seems to honestly believe that his fictional anecdotes somehow trump the actual experiences of living, breathing human beings. He writes 3000 words on love and he can’t muster a single example that involves real people.

    Modern feminism has driven women out of this old world into a nightmare, an upside-down Arden where men hold all the cards and women are expected to want what men want, see as men see, and do what men do. In the war between the sexes, feminism has decreed unilateral disarmament for women

    Buhduhbuhduhbuhduh teh stoopid it buUuUuUuUuUuUurnsss!

    Of course, Rosalind wielded power over her demanding lover that no modern woman has. (And men can be demanding. “I do know, / When the blood burns, how prodigal the soul / Lends the tongue vows,” Polonius tells Ophelia in ordering her to ignore her aspiring lover [Hamlet, act 1, scene 3].) But peer pressure used to support the girl who said no, or said “Marry me first, so I can make a safe home for our children”–not the young man and his burning blood who said “Sex first, and marriage (yawn) when I’m in the mood. Maybe.” None of her girlfriends, boyfriends, or elders were telling Rosalind, “Go ahead; everybody does it.” Nor could Orlando have told her, “If you won’t, Celia will.” And no officious busybodies were handing out birth-control pills to young girls in the Forest of Arden.

    They just knew better back then. The fact that birth control pills didn’t fucking exist is immaterial. Pity the poor modern woman! She has to make the best of simply having the power to decide her own destiny, own land, vote, and choose her lovers, rather than the real power that comes with holding out on the sex. Which simply doesn’t happen nowadays, nosirree.

    Jane Austen shows us a different facet of the same phenomenon. Her novels center, mostly, on prolonged romantic love that is one-sided at first but finally wins through–Darcy’s for Elizabeth Bennet (Pride and Prejudice), Fanny Price’s for Edmund (Mansfield Park), Knightley’s for Emma (Emma), Catherine Morland’s for Tilney (Northanger Abbey), Anne Elliot’s for Went-worth (Persuasion). Such prolonged, one-sided love is hard to endure, but eventually the spiritual forces it brings to bear are so enormous, they can actually twist a human personality into a new shape.

    That’s right kids, when you love somebody who doesn’t love you back, all you have to do is love harder for a few years, and you’ll get the girl! It must be true because a novelist said so. This is good news for the stalkers of the world!

    Am I a hypocrite to write this piece? Back in the 1970s and early ’80s, matters now taken for granted were not treated quite so casually. (Not quite.) So things were different. But those are weak words. We had fun, and never thought twice about where this society was headed. Nor would we have acted differently if we had. We who now have children in high school or college are as guilty as any other party to this tragedy; perhaps guiltier. We thought we were opening a window and letting in some fresh air. What we actually let in was more like the Black Death.

    Presented without comment.

    So we turn to the end of Romeo and Juliet.
    Heaven finds means to kill your joys with love.
    And I for winking at your discords too
    Have lost a brace of kinsmen. All are punish’d.

    Yes, that classic paeon to the inherent goodness of intense but chaste young love, The Tradgedy of Romeo and Juliet. Surely the moral of a story in which such love leads to mass death is that romantic love is AWESOME DUDE!

  26. gbear said,

    December 9, 2007 at 20:30

    Saul, you wouldn’t be saying that if it had been anywhere other than Fox. Ha!

  27. Jrod said,

    December 9, 2007 at 20:34

    Or tragedy. Whatever.

  28. Arky - Cthulhusexual said,

    December 9, 2007 at 20:38

    That picture killed my sex drive.

  29. mikey said,

    December 9, 2007 at 20:43

    Good lord. I have NEVER been so glad to have spent the seventies rambling around the west coast as a young man. I had at least a collective YEAR of sex with near-perfect strangers. It was a joy, everybody had a great time, and while every now and then you needed to get treatment for your occasional, er, illness, everybody’s emotional health was pretty damn good.

    Well, except for mine. But that’s a whole ‘nother kettle of fish.

    mikey

    Y’know, I’ve been using that expression “kettle of fish” all weekend.

    It’s crackin me up…

  30. kettle of fish said,

    December 9, 2007 at 20:45

    what we really want is a can of worms.

  31. piotr said,

    December 9, 2007 at 20:45

    Saul: The bottom line is, God intended sex to be between one man and one woman in the bonds of marriage. Premarital sex is a sin against God.

    Is it very clear what does Bible regard as a Good Thing? Is warming the bed of a succesful leader (say, king David) an OK occupation for a young unmarried woman? In a most puzzling passage, two Messengers of God, very comely in appearance, visit Lot in the town of Sodom. Wicked neighbors wanted to rape the Messengers, so Lot, and he was The Only Just Man in Sodom, offered them his daughter.

    So: would following her father wishes be a good thing?

    Mind you, a similar scene is repeated once more in the Bible, when a priest from the tribe of Judah stopped for a night in a village that belonged to the tribe of Benjamin. The virtuous man travelled with his concubine. A most confusing narrative follows (hence a scene with a host offering his daugher to wicked neighbors who were, this time, heterosexual, but inexusably picky) but let us stop there. A virtuous priest of the tribe of Judah travelled with his concubine…

  32. Ted said,

    December 9, 2007 at 20:46

    Thwarted sexual desire is nearly as necessary to young people as food and shelter.

    That’s the funniest fucking thing I’ve heard come out of a typically sexually unattractive conservative’s mouth in years. “My teen years didn’t suck! They were good for me!”

  33. Hoosier X said,

    December 9, 2007 at 20:50

    Gerlertner used to be a regular on the Los Angeles Times opinion page. And I used to read him with a mix of amusement and disgust and – at times – disbelief that someone could be such a nitwit and then express shock and surprise that people – those mean, uncivil liberals – were making fun of him.

    It was the same mixture of emotions that I now feel when I read Jonah Goldberg – who, I believe, ended up taking Gelertner’s “really dumb conservative” spot in the Times. (They kept Max Boot in the “incoherent babbler conservative” spot that Bill O’Reilly fills on Fox.)

    I remember writing a letter to the editor about how the Los Angeles Times was proving its liberal bias by choosing the stupidest conservative columnists (and Mallard Fillmore) to make conservatives look shallow and delusional. They didn’t print it.

    So, yeah, Gelertner’s a nitiwt. I haven’t read him since they kicked him out of the Times. But this post is a great reminder of why I’m glad I never had to take a computer science class at Yale.

    Gelertner is so bad that Saul is a step up in the smarts department.

    Shalom, Saul!

  34. Auguste said,

    December 9, 2007 at 20:52

    What’s a girl got to do to get a few dates with a smart, funny, politically astute and progressive guy? Sheesh.

    I notice you didn’t say “unmarried…”

    *waggles eyebrows*

  35. Jillian said,

    December 9, 2007 at 20:53

    Keep that up, and I’ll ask your wife out on a date!

    *grin*

  36. Hoosier X said,

    December 9, 2007 at 20:55

    Can I trade in a kettle of fish for a barrel of monkeys?

  37. g said,

    December 9, 2007 at 20:56

    The bottom line is, God intended sex to be between one man and one woman in the bonds of marriage.

    Right. And there are so many accounts in the Bible that reinforce this message. Oh. Wait….

  38. OTB said,

    December 9, 2007 at 20:56

    If God didn’t want us to have instant sex, then why did he make women out of vagina?

  39. Auguste said,

    December 9, 2007 at 21:01

    Keep that up, and I’ll ask your wife out on a date!

    The line* forms to the left.

    * For asking, mind you. [And if I'd used the first comeback that came to mind, I'd be risking my pro-feminist credentials...]

  40. Scaramouche said,

    December 9, 2007 at 21:01

    I think it’s more like, Love is like oxygen

  41. Quaker Oatmeal Man said,

    December 9, 2007 at 21:06

    I’m too old for instant sex. I have to cook for at least 5 minutes now.

  42. Ted said,

    December 9, 2007 at 21:07

    Based on Saul’s comments, I’m starting to think he’s a bottom.

  43. Arky - Cthulhusexual said,

    December 9, 2007 at 21:11

    If my teen years are any guide there was as much thwarted sexual desire as the unthwarted kind.

    The bottom line is, teens want to screw, they just don’t get to screw everyone they want to screw and the fact is pretending that there has ever been a time when people wanted to screw and didn’t is kind of like believing in unicorns.

    And lookee here:

    Delaying sexual activity may “create health risks by impeding development of the emotional, cognitive, and interpersonal skills that are crucial to satisfactory sexual functioning and general well-being,” they add.

    Too much thwarting might lead to other premature events.

  44. kth said,

    December 9, 2007 at 21:11

    It’s just never been the case, at least in the last 100 years in this country, that young men abstained or were expected to abstain. Occasionally male chastity has been lauded as a virtue, but men have never been stigmatized or ostracized for not observing it. The rules have only changed for women.

    There’s a funny exchange recorded in Emerson’s journals between Emerson and Dickens on the topic of “male chastity”:

    There were only gentlemen present and the conversation turned on the shameful lewdness of the London streets at night. ‘I hear it,’ he said, ‘I hear whoredom in the House of Commons. Disraeli betrays whoredom, and the whole House of Commons universal incontinence, in every word they say.’ I said that when I came to Liverpool, I inquired whether the prostitution was always as gross in that city as it then appeared, for to me it seemed to betoken a fatal rottennness in the state, and I saw not how any boy could grow up safe. But I had been told it was not worse nor better for years. Carlyle and Dickens replied that chastity in the male sex was as good as gone in our times; and in England was so rare that they could name all the exceptions. Carlyle evidently believed that the same things were true in America. He had heard this and that of New York, etc. I assured them that it was not so with us; that, for the most part, young men of good standing and good education, with us, go virgins to their nuptial bed, as truly as their brides. Dickens replied that incontinence is so much the rule in England that if his own son were particularly chaste, he should be alarmed on his account, as if he could not be in good health.

  45. Jillian said,

    December 9, 2007 at 21:13

    There’s nothing un-pro-feminist about watching. Honestly!

    I just wish I knew what Republicans had against enjoying themselves. Even eating ice cream cones is suspect to them.

  46. the gallery said,

    December 9, 2007 at 21:19

    kth, marvelous post.

  47. Arky - Cthulhusexual said,

    December 9, 2007 at 21:23

    “adored OBJECT”

    If he actually had an adored object that wasn’t inanimate, he would have got a well deserved slap for that description.

    I needed inspiration, a brand new start in life,
    Somewhere to place affection, but I didn’t want a wife.

    And then by lucky chance I saw in a special magazine
    An ad. that was unusual, the like I’d never seen,
    “Experience something different with our new imported toy,
    She’s loving, warm, inflatible and a guarantee of joy.”

    She came all wrapped in cardboard, all pink and shrivelled down
    A breath of air was all she needed to make her lose that frown.

  48. Auguste said,

    December 9, 2007 at 21:24

    I concur, by the way, with those who are saying that Gelernterjwer’s thesis is untrue and, in fact, literally the opposite of true. Thwarted sexual desire, when it’s a result of a messed-up worldview about sex (viz evangelical households, not lack of savoir-faire), is, in my layman’s opinion, incredibly damaging and idiots like Geroffmefer are really trying to fuck up our future generations.

  49. random idiot said,

    December 9, 2007 at 21:26

    From my own experience, the most important relationships and loves in a young man’s life, are NOT the sexual ones.

    Your love for your parents growing past the child-adult relationship, and becoming a relationship between adults.. That is a hugely important one.

    Learning that brotherly love isn’t just for blood relations, and that devoted friends can be a powerful source of emotional support for life, and learning how to feed those relationships so they last.

    And of course.. Learning that a female friend can be a brother too.. regardless of whether or not you fancy her. That is a crucial thing to learn.

    But.. Some people (like the author of that sanctimonious piece) suffer from sexual frustration, and/or a sheer obsession with sex that distracts them from dealing with those issues, which are so much MORE important than just getting laid. Frustrated virgins raise their expectations of what sex and love are like to totally unrealistic levels, so that when they finally do get laid, the disappointment is crushing. They remain unable to untangle confused feelings of lust from the endorphins and other emotional reactions of having a crush, and the friendship and quiet devotion of a more concrete and lasting kind of love.

    If meaningless sex takes the pressure off, and lets someone relax a bit, and see what is really important in life and love, then I am all for it. Aside from being enjoyable, it can potentially really help a persons long term emotional stability and personal growth, if it helps them sort out the difference between love and lust.

  50. W. Kiernan said,

    December 9, 2007 at 21:26

    Saul: The bottom line is, God intended sex to be between one man and one woman in the bonds of marriage. Premarital sex is a sin against God.

    What’s God got to do, got to do with it?

  51. Hoosier X said,

    December 9, 2007 at 21:31

    How about being a total niwit and abusing the rational faculties God gave you? Is that a sin against God?

  52. The Who said,

    December 9, 2007 at 21:33

    Pictures Of Lily

    I used to wake up in the morning
    I used to feel so bad
    I got so sick of having sleepless nights
    I went and told my dad

    He said, son now here’s some little something
    And stuck them on my wall
    And now my nights ain’t quite so lonely
    In fact I, I don’t feel bad at all
    I don’t feel bad at all

    Pictures of Lily made my life so wonderful
    Pictures of Lily helped me sleep at night
    Pictures of Lily solved my childhood problems
    Pictures of Lily helped me feel alright

    Pictures of Lily
    Lily, oh Lily
    Lily, oh Lily
    Pictures of Lily

    And then one day things weren’t quite so fine
    I fell in love with Lily
    I asked my dad where Lily I could find
    He said, son, now don’t be so silly

    She’s been dead since 1929
    Oh, how I cried that night
    If only I’d been born in Lily’s time
    It would have been alright

    Pictures of Lily made my life so wonderful
    Pictures of Lily helped me sleep at night

    For me and Lily are together in my dreams
    And I ask you, hey mister, have you seen Pictures of Lily?

  53. Ted said,

    December 9, 2007 at 21:34

    Dickens replied that incontinence is so much the rule in England that if his own son were particularly chaste, he should be alarmed on his account, as if he could not be in good health.

    Hilarious! “Son, are you ok?”

  54. piotr said,

    December 9, 2007 at 21:38

    Re:

    Delaying sexual activity may “create health risks by impeding development of the emotional, cognitive, and interpersonal skills that are crucial to satisfactory sexual functioning and general well-being,” they add.

    To be fair, the article raises the possibility that the causality is reverse. If so, then graduating from highschool with virginity intact does not predict much, except being less prone to get STD. Graduating from college with virginity intact either suggests that something was wrong with you, or predicts that it will.

    If you walk through a big campus during the first warm days of a year, you may be reminded of those immortal words (I forgot whose): “Spring is the time that even a stick clambers on top of another stick.”

  55. not that pablo said,

    December 9, 2007 at 21:44

    If god didn’t want instant sex he wouldn’t have created beer.

  56. Woodrowfan said,

    December 9, 2007 at 21:59

    David Gelernter: He no play the game, he no make the rules….

  57. atheist said,

    December 9, 2007 at 22:04

    Instant sex and romantic love can’t coexist any more than hurricanes and forest fires. One drives out the other.

    But what about a forest fire and a tornado? I bet that would work!

  58. atheist said,

    December 9, 2007 at 22:05

    Or, a tornado and a mudslide. I can totally see it.

  59. Arky - Cthulhusexual said,

    December 9, 2007 at 22:05

    Piotr: Agreed 100%, my point was “wait until you’re married,” and “thwarting is good for you,” are at best unrealistic.

    BTW, I am NOT advocating that people who don’t want to have sex should do so because “It’s good for you.” I further believe that people who use “You’re just repressed,” as a pickup line deserve a knee/fist in the ‘nads/nose (depending on the gender of the slimebucket).

  60. actor212 said,

    December 9, 2007 at 22:12

    burning hunk o’manlove David Gelernter

    Only if he comes with a wick.

  61. actor212 said,

    December 9, 2007 at 22:16

    Premarital, premature sex drains the power reserve that would have propelled them into emotional (versus mere physical) adulthood.

    Mickey to Rocky: “Women weaken legs!”

    Of course, Gelertner is referring to how, if adolescent boys have sex, they’ll be less likely to become cannon fodder in the great imperialistic war for hegemony…

  62. actor212 said,

    December 9, 2007 at 22:18

    Saul said,
    December 9, 2007 at 20:21

    The bottom line is, God intended sex to be between one man and one woman in the bonds of marriage.

    Really?

    Are you suggesting that Jesus was a bastard?

  63. Jon H said,

    December 9, 2007 at 22:23

    “Instant sex and romantic love can’t coexist any more than hurricanes and forest fires. One drives out the other.”

    Yeah, when you’re done in ‘an instant’ it really kills the romantic mood.

  64. dBa said,

    December 9, 2007 at 22:24

    I ar ben in Tornado, took off mai ruf on May 8rd, rather haz thwarted sex

    Gladz I no haz to make that choice.

  65. Doctorb Science said,

    December 9, 2007 at 22:31

    Yay, finally I get to repost an Archimedes Plutonium essay:

    Now here I am going to start a possible new theory. Me thinks it is
    mostly bunk though. But I have to explore it somewhat as there may be a
    connection to more important venues or avenues.

    I like it when people in science spit out their new idea rapid fire in
    stead of beating around the bush.

    Sex Theory of humans, true or false: Notice how some women seem to
    fall apart after their first baby. Note that salmon, after they mate
    are good as dead. Note that sports athletes were required to not have
    sex before the big sports event because they were more “vicious”. Note
    that sex is a “relaxant”. So, this theory which I suspect is bunk and
    will never fly, is saying that having sex somehow deteriorates the
    human body.

    The reason I say it is bunk is because I cannot see any signaling to
    the body that sex was performed, from say masturbation. And then you
    must bring in the factors of Eunuchs and that of wet dreams also.

    I know Eunuchs never lost their hair. But were eunuchs aging also
    preserved better than your sex active males and females?

    And how is a body to recognize the difference between say a wet dream
    and a masturbation and a sex coitus.

    Some sort of signalling in the human body which then creates some
    hormones which then goes to deterioration of the human who just
    performed sex?

    If true then with each sex coitus the humans who partake are that
    much older or that much more deteriorated and closer to death.
    Obviously if true, the human mechanism is not as apparent as the Salmon
    Mechanism on sex. Immediately after sex with salmon, it is kiss goodbye
    the male.

    And if there is some truth to this body deterioration with sex, then
    the signal and perhaps the mechanism of deterioration is the hormones.

    Are there anything extra going into sex coitus as compared to just
    masturbation? Does a male masturbation body recognize that it was just
    a masturbation and not a male female coitus?

    If my theory is true, and I seriously doubt it, then if this science
    is uncovered would perhaps mean that someday, we can have a biological
    test of humans, and sort of like count the tree rings, we can count
    something which indicates how many times a male had masturbated,
    coitused, or wet dreamed. And for those males wanting to marry a true
    blue virgin, can have her tested.

    So, if my theory is true, would mean some bucks to me in the ways of
    patenting a sex barometer thermometer measuring devices.

    And if my theory is true would mean that per each coitus, the human
    body is that much more deteriorated if it had abstained. And people who
    do abstain are that fraction more intelligent. Those that have a-lot of
    coitus would by more and more birdbrainish or salmonbrained.

    And a-lot of men are like a wet noodle after coitus. Beyond relaxing
    or calming but just a noodle

    And perhaps there is a-lot to show for the athletes who abstain
    before big games. Perhaps the winning of the football championship is
    the football team that does not get any coitus for the whole playing
    season and that by the time that the playoff championship rolls around,
    these tykes are so vicious and their minds so lucid and clear that they
    win the championship and then can go home and fill up on sex. Like at
    the gasoline station– fill’ er’ up.

    I should check into this some more. I believe I will have to research
    hormones. And whether there are any hormonal fluids exchanged during
    sex. Of course there is male ejection into female. But is there any
    female ejection into male during coitus? I would think very much so
    because I hear of these sex transmitted diseases from female into male.
    So you know that the female must introduce something of female into
    male during coitus.

    Now the question occurs to me that our way way way back ancestors
    were the fish. Animals came from fish in the long progression of life.
    So, seeing that some fishes have this DETERIORATION AFTER SEX
    PHYSICALNESS, perhaps all animals to some degree possess this in their
    physiology. And although it may be very very tiny in humans, still, if
    any present at all would be a science.

    Yes indeed a science. And another cheer for cloning.

  66. Arky - Cthulhusexual said,

    December 9, 2007 at 22:39

    I think S,N! may have stumbled on to the ultimate an-aphrodisiac.

    Take a 8×10 color glossy photo of David Gelernter’s face. Force every child to start wearing it as a mask at the age of 10.

    They’ll be too busy laughing at the sight of one another to expend their precious “power reserves.”

  67. Doctorb Science said,

    December 9, 2007 at 22:39

    So Archimedes Plutonium is one of the great early Internet Crazy Guys. His personal story is that he’s the reincarnation of the classical Archimedes, but his cosmology is what’s really great: all observable reality is really just one Plutonium Atom (or possibly one electron in the outermost shell of a Plutonium Atom), and once all of humanity understands this, the universe will progress, possibly becoming a giant Americium Atom, I don’t know.

    Also a plutonium atom is at the center of his brain, allowing him to work at this higher level of consciousness. He once explained how consciousness worked, starting from “I had a craving for coconut” and ending in “therefore, plutonium atom”.

    If you have a few hours to read real great crazy stuff that’s not about how the President should be allowed to do whatever he wants, get on google groups (or whatever) and look for Archie Pu (or his full name, Archimedes Plutonium).

  68. islmfaoscist said,

    December 9, 2007 at 22:45

    Genesis 29, for example, tells us that Jacob fell in love with Rachel, and it was agreed that he should have her after working seven years for her father.

    You just gotta love the passive voice! A shrewd financial transaction, or romantic love, maybe it’s all the same thing. Unless you’re Rachel.

  69. Seitz said,

    December 9, 2007 at 22:48

    I think he may be on to something with this forest fire thing. I mean, sure, everyone knows that a hurricane is likely to douse a forest fire. But I never knew that forest fires drove hurricanes out. This is something they may want to think about in the Southeast. Next time a hurricane is on the way, just torch a forest, and voila! No more hurricane! They could build forests just to burn them. It’s brilliant.

  70. Ambrose Bierce said,

    December 9, 2007 at 22:59

    Instant sex and romantic love can’t coexist any more than Walt Whitman’s poetry and God’s mercy to man. One drives out the other.
    Let’s stick with the classic analogies.

  71. stringonastick said,

    December 9, 2007 at 23:00

    Well Doctorb, this would be a + in the Creationist column, wouldn’t it? I ain’t related to no damned fuckin’ n dyin’ fishes!

    Can you imagine the fear in the wingnut adolescent mind if you show them rotting, dying, post-mating salmon, followed by a very stern warning about throttling the old john thomas?

  72. SamFromUtah said,

    December 9, 2007 at 23:15

    Thwarted sexual desire is nearly as necessary to young people as food and shelter.

    File under “Just keep telling yourself that.”

    Premarital, premature sex drains the power reserve that would have propelled them into emotional (versus mere physical) adulthood.

    I might come a little bit closer to believing this if he’d written could have instead of would have. How many of the emotionally stunted dipshits at his own publication were sexually frustrated teenagers? And what the fuck does this guy know about emotional adulthood?

  73. Smut Clyde said,

    December 9, 2007 at 23:17

    human beings transform longing for an adored object into a heightened state of consciousness in a process called shopping.
    Upgraded to BadAnalogy 2.1.

  74. gbear said,

    December 9, 2007 at 23:21

    a-lot of men are like a wet noodle after coitus. Beyond relaxing or calming but just a noodle

    This phenomena may be overreported by sexual partners who have not reached orgasm first.

    And how is a body to recognize the difference between say a wet dream.

    One rarely has a hickey after masturbation.

    If my theory is true, and I seriously doubt it, then if this science is uncovered would perhaps mean that someday, we can have a biological
    test of humans, and sort of like count the tree rings, we can count something which indicates how many times a male had masturbated, coitused, or wet dreamed.

    Hopefully fingers and toes will suffice as counting devices until high school.

  75. Arky - Cthulhusexual said,

    December 9, 2007 at 23:23

    Just a question: What is instant sex anyways? Perhaps I’ve just lived a sheltered life but there’s always been some lapse of time (and a drink or two) between attraction and action.

  76. gbear said,

    December 9, 2007 at 23:24

    oops, the middle quote should be thus:

    And how is a body to recognize the difference between say a wet dream and a masturbation and a sex coitus.

  77. Smut Clyde said,

    December 9, 2007 at 23:48

    Only the historically thwarted can stand athwart history.
    The fact is that ‘athwart’ sounds more and more like a name from Tolkein-style fantasy. Athwart the Swarthy, son of Swarfega, doughty leader of the Umlauts.

  78. tigrismus said,

    December 9, 2007 at 23:59

    I can’t wait to hear what primate researchers or human sexuality experts think about parallel computing.

  79. Teh Ümlauts said,

    December 10, 2007 at 0:01

    Ahem, Smut Clyde.

    Ahem, I says!

  80. Soj said,

    December 10, 2007 at 0:14

    I always thought “instant sex” was prostitution, you know, the world’s OLDEST profession. For as long as people have been keeping records, people have been having this “instant sex” and somehow we managed to all get here to the end of 2007 more or less in one piece. GUESS it wasn’t all that much of a deal breaker on the human condition, eh?

    Honestly though what a horrible term – sounds like something that comes in a packet where you just add water.

  81. Teh Guinness Book of Records said,

    December 10, 2007 at 0:34

    For as long as people have been keeping records, people have been having this “instant sex”
    Future editions will no longer include the “World’s Quickest Sex Act” entry — it was encouraging hazardous behaviour.
    We r responsible publishers.

  82. g said,

    December 10, 2007 at 0:38

    What is instant sex anyways?

    Just add water.

  83. g said,

    December 10, 2007 at 0:40

    someday, we can have a biological test of humans, and sort of like count the tree rings, we can count something which indicates how many times a male had masturbated

    Um…wouldn’t this take a really long time?

  84. Saul said,

    December 10, 2007 at 0:44

    I am about to tell you leftys once and for all what I truly think about your beloved democrat party. The democrat party is the party of corruption. Corruption is every democrats middle name. In States in the Northeast which are run by democrats you can’t even get a well paying job unless you know somebody because democrats are corrupt klansmen who only look after thier own. The democat party is filled with all sorts of evil people, it is made up of crooks, bums, adulterers, homosexuals, pedophiles and other assorted low lifes. Democrats and people who vote for them have no brian in thier head, if they did they would vote Republican, democrat voters are all skulls full of mush. They do not realize that they are digging thier own graves and the grave of America every time they vote a democrat into public office. The democrats socialist policies of over taxation, multiculturalism, open borders, secularism, moral relativism and disdain for all things Traditional and Patriotic are destroying America. The Republican Party on the other hand is the Party of Fiscal discipline, Traditional American Values, Strong National Defense, Secure Borders and Patriotism. Any Republican who clearly articulates the Conservative Message like Ronald Reagan did, will beat any democrat in any electon, anywhere with the exception of the far left coastal big cities but thier not really American anyway. The bottom line is, the Republican Party is the Party that represents the best interests of the vast majority of the American people, while the democrat party represents the best interest of the coastal elites.

  85. Paddy Mac said,

    December 10, 2007 at 0:44

    “I’m sorry but comparing love to photosynthesis is, well, just icky.”

    The analogy came (nyuk nyuk nyuk) to David Gelernter pretty readliy; he’s never performed either himself.

  86. TGM said,

    December 10, 2007 at 0:46

    “Graduating from college with virginity intact either suggests that something was wrong with you, or predicts that it will.”

    What about being enrolled in grad school with virginity intact?

  87. g said,

    December 10, 2007 at 0:48

    I have no Brian in my head either.

  88. Lesley said,

    December 10, 2007 at 0:52

    spoken by an individual whose sweaty bedhead would deter the impulses of a yak.

  89. Hoosier X said,

    December 10, 2007 at 0:53

    Well, now we know what Saul was doing all day.

    I wonder how long it would have taken if he had bothered with a little editing.

    Oh. That IS the edited version. Sorry about the confusion.

    Carry on, little wingnut. Mend your broken wings and learn to fly.

  90. Lesley said,

    December 10, 2007 at 0:55

    P.S. Keeping steady company with a person you adore plus not sleeping with her (or him) leads one to ask, “could it be that he/she is just not that into me?”

  91. Hoosier X said,

    December 10, 2007 at 0:55

    I do so have a brian in my head! Brian Adams. I especially can’t get that “This Time” song out of my head.

  92. Teh Far Left Coastal PORT Cities said,

    December 10, 2007 at 0:56

    Good luck getting your cheap Sino-Claus shit at Wal-Mart out in the Fartland without us and our elitist satanic unionized stevedores.

    You Flyover Country hayseeds are DEAD to us.

  93. Larry Ruppert said,

    December 10, 2007 at 0:58

    Fuck the Los Angeles Times.

    The difference between Jonah Goldberg and David Gelernter is like the difference between processed cheese and a fine Morbier

  94. Jillian said,

    December 10, 2007 at 0:58

    P.S. Keeping steady company with a person you adore plus not sleeping with her (or him) leads one to ask, “could it be that he/she is just not that into me?”

    Or, perhaps, that one of the parties is gay?

    This, by the way, makes for a fine relationship. I keep steady company with a man I adore, who also adores me. Just because he’s gay doesn’t mean I can’t be madly in love with him – I just don’t love him that way.

  95. Christopher said,

    December 10, 2007 at 1:03

    “Why can’t they coexist? Because, just as green leaves transform sunlight to useful energy in a process called photosynthesis, human beings transform longing for an adored object into a heightened state of consciousness in a process called falling in love.”

    Wasn’t this a speech from Attack of the Clones?

  96. Arky - Cthulhusexual said,

    December 10, 2007 at 1:06

    someday, we can have a biological test of humans, and sort of like count the tree rings, we can count something which indicates how many times a male had masturbated

    Um…wouldn’t this take a really long time?

    Never mind how long it takes, how are you going to get to the rings?!
    [Curls up in fetal position]

  97. Twisted_Colour said,

    December 10, 2007 at 1:24

    I suppose that means you can start the instant sex business at age 35 or so

    After 23 years of vigorous self-manipulation, I have at last reached 35 years and am ready to become a man. Anyone have Marie Jon’s number?

  98. Jillian said,

    December 10, 2007 at 1:28

    Hey, I’ll be 35 in two weeks! Woot!

  99. Saul said,

    December 10, 2007 at 1:43

    Oh, and by the way liberals, Senator Joesph McCarthy was one of the Greatest Patriots in American History.

  100. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    December 10, 2007 at 1:55

    Christopher said,

    December 10, 2007 at 1:03

    “Why can’t they coexist? Because, just as green leaves transform sunlight to useful energy in a process called photosynthesis, human beings transform longing for an adored object into a heightened state of consciousness in a process called falling in love stalking.”

    FYT.

  101. g said,

    December 10, 2007 at 2:14

    “Oh, and by the way…”

    I’ve always found this to be a weird little rhetorical tick that Bush uses when he speaks to the press – and it makes me laugh.

    It’s a phrase used as an aside, for trivial or optional details, or for something that the speaker just happened to remember while enroute to the main point of his speech – as in, “by the way, I put some clean socks in your drawer,” or “by the way, the copier toner is low,”

    Bush oddly uses it to introduce significant statements, like “by the way, the evildoers want to kill us”. Or else he uses it to state the obvious, as in “by the way, diplomacy is hard work” – which is another weird use of the phrase. It indicates he’s really not thinking about the meaning of his words, but just parroting talking points.

    It’s good to see his minions aping his conversational style. When he’s out of office their stilted speaking style will be a marking characteristic of them – one of the few benign legacies he’ll have.

  102. Smut Clyde said,

    December 10, 2007 at 2:32

    By the way, that image may purport to show Gelernter, but to me it looks more like Andy Serkis in the role of Martin Hannett.
    I only correct your errors because I care.

  103. Obviously Fake Sol said,

    December 10, 2007 at 2:33

    By the way, lieberals, the Miami Dolphins are the greatest football team in the NFL today, seeing as how they come from the Hartland and every other team represents the eeevil coastal elite. The fact is, the Dolphins will go all the way to win the Superior Bowl and be rewarded the Roanldus Maximus Croos of Freedom by George W. Bush, the greatest president in history.

  104. Pablo said,

    December 10, 2007 at 2:37

    The comparison of Instant Sex ? to Ovaltine helps explain the long-standing advertisement of a certsin mixed drink on right wing radio.
    “More Ovaltine please!!!.”

  105. Dead Flyover Country Hayseed said,

    December 10, 2007 at 2:39

    Mr. Port, Have you realized that 90% of what you eat, wear, sit on, drive with and breathe is made out of CORN these days?

  106. Arky - Cthulhusexual said,

    December 10, 2007 at 2:47

    Jillian said,

    December 10, 2007 at 1:28

    Hey, I’ll be 35 in two weeks! Woot!

    Ha! A mere whippersnapper, ankle biter and a yard ape no less.

    Get offa my lawn! (Ooo, me back!)

  107. Alex Comfort said,

    December 10, 2007 at 2:49

    “We may eventually come to realize that chastity is no more a virtue than malnutrition.”

  108. mikey said,

    December 10, 2007 at 2:50

    Y’know, completely off topic and everything, but I’d like to confess I have this “thing” for young hot tall socialist teachers. I just melt…

    mikey

  109. Teh Far Left Coastal PORT Cities said,

    December 10, 2007 at 2:58

    Kinda hard to grow all that corn without PETROFERTILIZER…which requires OIL.

    You’re fuckin’ welcome.

  110. Rightwingsnarkle said,

    December 10, 2007 at 3:01

    But, what about blowjobs?

  111. mikey said,

    December 10, 2007 at 3:06

    I entirely approve of blowjobs.

    Thank you, and goodnight…

    mikey

  112. Dead Flyover Country Hayseed said,

    December 10, 2007 at 3:24

    Blowjobs don’t require oil, and as such are not a gift from the western coastal cities. Carry on.

  113. Oil-using garage mechanic said,

    December 10, 2007 at 3:26

    Looks like you blew a seal.

  114. The Visigoth said,

    December 10, 2007 at 3:27

    I hate to echo the other commenters, but it’s hilariously and painfully obvious this guy has never had real sex.

    Normal earthlings that have been in real relationships know there’s no such thing as a “power reserve” that you spend.

    Then again, maybe if Davie wasn’t such a beardo virgin shunned by anyone with a soul, his superhigh power reserve lets him fire a KAMEHAMEHA BLAST with the FORCE OF A THOUSAND HIROSHIMAS!!!11!!!

  115. huxley said,

    December 10, 2007 at 3:33

    “Graduating from college with virginity intact either suggests that something was wrong with you, or predicts that it will.”

    What about being enrolled in grad school with virginity intact?

    Perhaps, then it is time to make humanity the subject of one’s studies. At the very least, audit the course.

  116. Rightwingsnarkle said,

    December 10, 2007 at 3:34

    “Looks like you blew a seal.”

    I just ate some vanilla ice cream.

  117. huxley said,

    December 10, 2007 at 3:34

    grr … it messes my html …

    “What about being enrolled in grad school with virginity intact?”

    was what I was responding to.

  118. gbear said,

    December 10, 2007 at 3:37

    What about being enrolled in grad school with virginity intact?

    You studying to become an Architect?

  119. Qetesh the Qaveat Qat said,

    December 10, 2007 at 3:37

    What’s a girl got to do to get a few dates with a smart, funny, politically astute and progressive guy? Sheesh.

    I dunno, but if you find one, please share.

  120. Lesley said,

    December 10, 2007 at 3:42

    The wingers have this idea that everyone and his dog are having rampant unbridled sex with strangers (on a train, in bathroom stalls, closets at wild parties). How many people do you know live like this?

    I know several people who have active sex lives (all but one are monogamous) and several who have no sex at all (some by choice, some not so much).

    Geezus murphy. Get a grip wingers, reality and teevee are separate worlds.

  121. huxley said,

    December 10, 2007 at 3:45

    The comparison of Instant Sex ? to Ovaltine helps explain the long-standing advertisement of a certsin mixed drink on right wing radio.
    “More Ovaltine please!!!.”

    “Tell your mother you want some delicious Horlicks”

  122. Arky - Cthulhusexual said,

    December 10, 2007 at 3:46

    The wingers have this idea that everyone and his dog are having rampant unbridled sex with strangers (on a train, in bathroom stalls, closets at wild parties). How many people do you know live like this?

    None, but I’m don’t know any wingers.

  123. Arky - Cthulhusexual said,

    December 10, 2007 at 3:47

    Damn, that first paragraph should have been

    blockquoted

  124. Fozzetti said,

    December 10, 2007 at 3:48

    Does “Instant Sex” require a microwave? Or can you just pour boiling water over it?

  125. gbear said,

    December 10, 2007 at 3:52

    I think I’ll stick with cold milk, Fozzetti.

  126. Saul said,

    December 10, 2007 at 3:55

    The bottom line is, you liberals know that I was right about the democrat party ( see my post at 0:44) but just won’t admit it because you prefer your little socialist “paradise” to the real America established by our Founding Fathers and revered by those of us in the Heartland.

  127. Smut Clyde said,

    December 10, 2007 at 3:57

    this idea that everyone and his dog are having rampant unbridled sex with strangers
    Whereas mundane reality consists of having bridled sex?
    Not meaning to be judgmental or anything.

  128. porndog said,

    December 10, 2007 at 3:58

    Hey remember the fable of “sour grapes”?

    Gelertner has those and blue balls, too.

  129. huxley said,

    December 10, 2007 at 4:00

    the real America established by our Founding Fathers and revered by those of us in the Heartland.

    what, the East Coast?

  130. Saul said,

    December 10, 2007 at 4:01

    Oh, by the way, I don’t like pie. I don’t much care for sweets, I prefer salty foods like matzo ball soup.

  131. Mr Ed said,

    December 10, 2007 at 4:02

    Bridled sex is acceptable, as long as it’s rampant and with strangers.

  132. Saul said,

    December 10, 2007 at 4:04

    Oh, by the way, I live in Virginia, which I consider part of the Heartland because it is a Solid Red State.

  133. Dead Flyover Country Hayseed said,

    December 10, 2007 at 4:06

    Oh come on, Virginia is definitely in Lungland territory

  134. Saul said,

    December 10, 2007 at 4:09

    In the 2004 Presidential election Virginia voted 54% for President Bush and hasn’t voted for a Democratic Candidate for President since 1964.

  135. Jillian said,

    December 10, 2007 at 4:09

    Oh, noes! Are we feeding teh trollz again?

    DO NOT WANT

  136. mikey said,

    December 10, 2007 at 4:11

    Um, you’re outside of my expertise here.

    Do you need a special bridle? Or can you just go down to the tackroom and…

    Yikes…

    mikey

  137. Smut Clyde said,

    December 10, 2007 at 4:24

    Bridled sex is acceptable, as long as it’s rampant and with strangers.
    Clearly it is time to re-post the Ram-pant link.

  138. Saul said,

    December 10, 2007 at 4:26

    Fred Thompson is gonna beat Hitlery by a landslide!

  139. Mr Ed said,

    December 10, 2007 at 4:31

    What a cute collar on that… whatever it is.

  140. Hoosier X said,

    December 10, 2007 at 4:35

    Who is Hitlery?

    My first thought was Hillary Clinton, but I’m sure those nice, polite Republicans would never make such a comparison. (And aside from being uncivil, it’s also pretty damn dumb.)

    Which prompts a second question: Who is Fred Thompson?

  141. g said,

    December 10, 2007 at 4:37

    bridled sex, unbridled sex, ice cream and Ovaltine – you guys are making my head spin!

    Aw. The little lamby is awfully cute.

  142. Arky - Cthulhusexual said,

    December 10, 2007 at 4:46

    Behold the Blown Goat!

  143. Caveat said,

    December 10, 2007 at 4:46

    Throw a dirty raincoat on Gestalter and what do you get?

  144. Caveat said,

    December 10, 2007 at 4:51

    And it looks as though forest fires and hurricanes have a good relationship:

    “Forest fires a real concern for areas hit hard by hurricanes

    Scientists from the Pacific Northwest will help forest managers in the Southeast quickly measure fuel loads across extensive areas of hurricane-damaged forests, the first step in deciding where to remove downed trees in order to prevent devastating wildfires from inflicting even more damage to hurricane ravaged areas in the Southeast.”

  145. Yaoi Huntress Earth said,

    December 10, 2007 at 4:53

    For some reason this guy reminds me of Dave Sim except his hatrid is more toward sex than women.

  146. itwasntme said,

    December 10, 2007 at 5:01

    I think maybe this post was triggered by him getting an STD. Sounds like herpes regret to me.

  147. Lesley said,

    December 10, 2007 at 5:01

    Whereas mundane reality consists of having bridled sex?

    either way, sex can be mundane. i can’t tell you how many mundane…oh never mind.

    unbridled is much more comfortable. wet suit-free is also recommended but just try and persuade a republican.

  148. owlbear1 said,

    December 10, 2007 at 5:09

    Premarital, premature sex drains the power reserve that would have propelled them into emotional (versus mere physical) adulthood.

    Uhm Dave, just because you get a little dizzy after an orgasm doesn’t mean you’re gonna die…

    And no it doesn’t stunt your growth and yes you will still be able to see the sunrise!

  149. Mark said,

    December 10, 2007 at 5:11

    Say; speaking as the King Of Noticing Things After Everyone Else, have you noticed that almost all the Rightie sites require membership before they’ll let you post a comment, but the Lefty sites will let pretty much anybody say their piece?

    I noticed this (after everyone else, probably) when I wanted to post a ” How could you be such an asshole; do you practice?” comment on Michelle Malkin’s blog.

    Gelertner (at least in this photo) looks quite a bit like King Louie in the animated version of “The Jungle Book”. The hairstyle helps.

  150. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    December 10, 2007 at 5:14

    Arky – Cthulhusexual said,

    December 10, 2007 at 4:46

    Behold the Blown Goat!

    Has Mickey Kaus been around here again?

  151. g said,

    December 10, 2007 at 5:17

    No bridles, no wet suits here. A YMCA locker room once, though.

  152. Lesley said,

    December 10, 2007 at 5:21

    Say; speaking as the King Of Noticing Things After Everyone Else, have you noticed that almost all the Rightie sites require membership before they’ll let you post a comment, but the Lefty sites will let pretty much anybody say their piece?

    I would appreciate your posting this comment over at TBogg’s new place. Unfortunately you have to register….

  153. Saul said,

    December 10, 2007 at 5:21

    The bottom line is, liberals are a bunch of godless heathens!

    All practicing Jews and Christians, and every American who cares about America and our Traditional English Speaking Way Of Life should vote Republican in order to preserve the America we have inherited from our Fathers and Grandfathers!

  154. Smut Clyde said,

    December 10, 2007 at 5:22

    In response to popular demand, more cute lambies.

  155. Saul said,

    December 10, 2007 at 5:23

    LONG LIVE AMERICA, OUR FATHERLAND!

  156. Rabo Karabekian said,

    December 10, 2007 at 5:24

    Premarital, premature sex drains the power reserve that would have propelled them into emotional (versus mere physical) adulthood.

    What kind of man would turn his sex life into an outboard motor?

  157. piotr said,

    December 10, 2007 at 5:24

    lmfaoscist said,

    December 9, 2007 at 22:45

    [Gelertner:] Genesis 29, for example, tells us that Jacob fell in love with Rachel, and it was agreed that he should have her after working seven years for her father.

    [imfapscist:] You just gotta love the passive voice! A shrewd financial transaction, or romantic love, maybe it’s all the same thing. Unless you’re Rachel.

    Actually, Biblical story, as all too often, is rather convoluted. Jacob was probably not all that pleased with the Laban’s condition so he perpetrated a swindel that we would call “trading on insider information”, splitting the lambs that were not yet born (future contracts in Genesis!) according to the pattern of their fleece, white and black for Laban, and the patterned ones for Jacob. Then Jacob used a trick to cause all lambs to have white-black patterned fleece, his insider info. To boot, his method most assuredly should not work — letting ewes look at sticks that were both white and black.

    So, the first approximation is that the energy of Love secured Laban’s an enthusiastic worker for 7 years. But this worker was actually very disgruntled so he made an insider’s swindle. To much delay in the gratification is apparently not so good. Finally, a totally bogus biological detail is added. Now, my fellow theologians, why would Lord add such a needless bogus detail? Remember, everything in the Bible has its meaning, and the more nonsensical it seems, the deeper the meaning is. Perhaps a clue not to treat it too seriously?

  158. g said,

    December 10, 2007 at 5:24

    I can’t get to the little lambies.

  159. Qetesh the Qaveat Qat said,

    December 10, 2007 at 5:24

    From Prof NoSexInstantOrOtherwise’s wikipedia entry:

    In the 1980s, he made seminal contributions to the field of parallel computation,

    Ahhhh, so that‘s where his essence went.

  160. gbear said,

    December 10, 2007 at 5:28

    Smut Clyde, I am forbidden from seeing more cute lambies. I must have been really bad somewhere along the line.

  161. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    December 10, 2007 at 5:29

    Unfortunately for him, parallel computation was playing the field.

  162. Saul said,

    December 10, 2007 at 5:29

    The bottom line is, lamb is good eating.

  163. gbear said,

    December 10, 2007 at 5:31

    …but then came back at him with a mathernity suit

  164. Smut Clyde said,

    December 10, 2007 at 5:33

    Bugger. Try this:
    http://www.telecomprospect2007.org.nz/artist/images/kregar_g-mathew_1212-group-lge.jpg

  165. gbear said,

    December 10, 2007 at 5:35

    OH MY GOD! Rainbow lambs! GLBTXYZ

  166. g said,

    December 10, 2007 at 5:40

    I once bought a half a lamb. A friend of mine had a connection in Wenatchee to a farmer who raised organic lambs; we drove over the mountains and drove back with a cooler full of butchered parts. We divided it up, and I put mine in the freezer and had it for the next six months or so. It was wonderful.

    Somehow, I can’t imagine that Saul is a very good cook.

  167. Qetesh the Qaveat Qat said,

    December 10, 2007 at 5:42

    I love the frilly hindquarter detail on the burgundy-coloured lamb in front. Just what the Bovine Brummel will be wearing this year. Ark ark ark.

    Oh, rats. That should be Ovine Brummel, which makes my joke completely (as opposed to just partially) unfunny.

    Oh well, probably no one got it anyway, so no real loss there.

  168. gbear said,

    December 10, 2007 at 5:42

    Saul’s starting his own HomeDinXP?

  169. Qetesh the Qaveat Qat said,

    December 10, 2007 at 5:43

    Premarital, premature sex drains the power reserve that would have propelled them into emotional (versus mere physical) adulthood.

    What kind of man would turn his sex life into an outboard motor?

    I’m wondering how hard he has to yank the starter cord.

  170. gbear said,

    December 10, 2007 at 5:44

    Qetesh, I just Laugh Laughed but then I Cried Just A Little.

  171. Malignant Bouffant, former Nation of Sheep member, said,

    December 10, 2007 at 5:46

    Mr. Clyde, what’s the deal on the lamb-people? We had a prankster in the US of A in the late ’60s or early ’70s who started something called the Society for Indecency to Naked Animals, which wanted to clothe the cows, etc. Is this something of that sort? Ot just some goofy art crap?

  172. zython said,

    December 10, 2007 at 5:47

    Oh, by the way, I live in Virginia, which I consider part of the Heartland because it is a Solid Red State.

    I thought you said you live in Israel.

    By the way, when are you going to admit that you’re not Jewish (since I’ve already proven it). Or are you going to run with your tail between your legs again?

  173. Calming Influence said,

    December 10, 2007 at 5:48

    1. “The bottom line is, God intended sex to be between one man and one woman in the bonds of marriage. Premarital sex is a sin against God.”

    2. “The bottom line is, the Republican Party is the Party that represents the best interests of the vast majority of the American people, while the democrat party represents the best interest of the coastal elites.”

    3. “The bottom line is, you liberals know that I was right about the democrat party ( see my post at 0:44) but just won’t admit it because you prefer your little socialist “paradise” to the real America established by our Founding Fathers and revered by those of us in the Heartland.”

    4. “The bottom line is, liberals are a bunch of godless heathens!”

    Sauly, I gotta call a “bottom line” foul on this – two or three can be chalked up to the heat of the debate, but four bottom lines is more lines than most of your comments.. You’ve got more bottom lines here than Momma Cass.

    [rim-shot]

  174. Malignant Bouffant said,

    December 10, 2007 at 5:49

    Saul/Kevin, hope you & the wife enjoy your Hanukkah ham & the traditional lobster plate.

  175. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    December 10, 2007 at 5:57

    You can get some great crabcakes in Virginia.

  176. slip mahoney said,

    December 10, 2007 at 5:57

    Orthodox Jews are not Zionists.

  177. G-d said,

    December 10, 2007 at 5:57

    I am an American Patriot and an Othodox Jewish Rabbi

    who writes out my name.

  178. Smut Clyde said,

    December 10, 2007 at 5:59

    Ot just some goofy art crap?
    A guy called Gregor Kregar. Leans toward conceptual art, but I like him.

  179. Arky - Cthulhusexual said,

    December 10, 2007 at 6:02

    Stop playin’ with the troll. In honor of Mr. Gelatinous, we should allow the troll to play with himself.

  180. Calming Influence said,

    December 10, 2007 at 6:02

    “I never said I live in Israel,…”

    But Sauly, what about your “in the time zone where I live it’s no longer the Sabbath” argument you made in a post a while back?

    How many time zones are there on your continent? And is the sky blue?

  181. stringonastick said,

    December 10, 2007 at 6:06

    G_d’s got a point there; looks like time for a well-placed lightning bolt. You can swing that, right G_d?

  182. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    December 10, 2007 at 6:10

    I’m always willing to help a fellow Sadly,No!sian out, here ya go Saul:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Im_notta_Jew_but_I_play_one_on_the_ Internets.html

  183. Lesley said,

    December 10, 2007 at 6:15

    In Saul’s democracy only Saul would be typing.

  184. G-d said,

    December 10, 2007 at 6:18

    G_d’s got a point there; looks like time for a well-placed lightning bolt. You can swing that, right G_d?

    I hope this will suffice.

  185. mikey said,

    December 10, 2007 at 6:21

    “saul” is an idiot, not funny and not real.

    If you guys think there’s something to be gained by engaging, fine.

    But recognize you’re playing the game, and the community suffers.

    Is it really somehow worth it?

    mikey

  186. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    December 10, 2007 at 6:22

    G-d’s got a funny sense of humor, you’ve got to admit.

    Speaking of which, you know what Sex Guru David Gelernter lacks? A couple of bigass gold chains, that’s what. I bet some of those would change his wheel of fortune, bigtime.

  187. Malignant Bouffant said,

    December 10, 2007 at 6:22

    In Saul’s democracy only Saul would be typing.

    And in his “democracy” (which would at best be a republic, I’ll guess) all his typos & misspellings wouldn’t be typos & misspellings.

  188. slip mahoney said,

    December 10, 2007 at 6:23

    Here’s one to send him googling…

    Solly, if you wanted to show support for the settlers, what kind of clothing would you wear?

  189. gbear said,

    December 10, 2007 at 6:24

    (turns off the lights)

  190. g said,

    December 10, 2007 at 6:26

    “Hail God!”???????

    That’s real orthodox rabbi-talk for yer.

  191. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    December 10, 2007 at 6:26

    Ah heck mikey, we’re one hundred ninety nine bottles of beer on the wall into this thread. If life deals us lemons, shouldn’t we make lemonade?

    Otherwise, your points about ignoring the troll are quite well taken, and I gotta go to work tomorrow, and its time to set up the coffee maker.

    *sniff*

  192. Malignant Bouffant said,

    December 10, 2007 at 6:30

    Aw, c’mon, mikey, we’ve made all the sex jokes we feel like, we’re not even engaging, we’re just mocking his sorry ass.
    Back on topic, that Gelernter is one sad sack. Used to read him in the L. A. Fishwrarpper, as did Hoosier X. Had no idea of his history ’til I read the Wliki linkie above, but I’ll have to say ir’s a shame the Unabomber didn’t pack that load a little heavier. ‘Though I think Teddy K. just wanted to maim & injure, not slaughter. Wimp.

  193. Lesley said,

    December 10, 2007 at 6:32

    If you guys think there’s something to be gained by engaging, fine.
    But recognize you’re playing the game, and the community suffers.

    mikey has not once engaged a single troll :)

  194. Malignant Bouffant said,

    December 10, 2007 at 6:33

    Alright firepups, I must to the Liquor Mart for cigs. I’ll be back. Shalom, ladies & germs.

  195. Lesley said,

    December 10, 2007 at 6:33

    ifthethunderdontgetya, a far side cartoon on the ‘net is a rare find!

  196. ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,

    December 10, 2007 at 6:41

    G’night folks. Can you leave the light on in the hallway?

    I’d hate for the monster under the bed to get me, after all these years.

  197. G-d said,

    December 10, 2007 at 6:42

    Hail E Selassie!

    Hey, that’s m-!

  198. Anastasius said,

    December 10, 2007 at 6:45

    Looking for that special someone to propel me into emotional adulthood. Have lots of power reserves.

    Who could possibly resist?

  199. zython said,

    December 10, 2007 at 6:56

    I am an American Patriot and an Othodox Jewish Rabbi.

    That’s just it, you’re neither of those things. You obviously hate America, for one thing. Another thing is that you called Jews heathens* (or “heath-ons” in your case).

    *Not to mention the fact that heathen is a Christian term.

  200. Roland, the Headless Thompson Gunner said,

    December 10, 2007 at 6:57

    Premarital, premature sex drains the power reserve…

    By “power reserve”, does he mean “the beer gut”? ‘Cuz the pursuit of premarital sex is a strong motivator for heading to the gym…

  201. comsympinko said,

    December 10, 2007 at 7:36

    Late to the party.

    Teh sutpid, eth bruns.

    Uckfing sutpid givnir.

    Ashem eh vener tog nay.

    Fucking stupid dipshit motherfucker!

    Got it in sequence that time!

  202. Hoosier X said,

    December 10, 2007 at 7:36

    You can still see his headless body …

  203. Hoosier X said,

    December 10, 2007 at 7:42

    Hey! When are we gonna mock Huckabee and the endless idiocy of his … idiotic … idiocy.

    Or Giuliani for passing his personal responsibility onto the NYPD.

    Or Romney for uniting the American Taliban of all faiths against Americans who don’t believe in God hard enough.

    Or McCain for the totality of his assclownery.

    Fred who?

  204. Hoosier X said,

    December 10, 2007 at 7:46

    Or Ron Paul for TURNING DOWN THE LIBERTARIANS!

    Dude. You hurt their feelings.

  205. Anne Laurie said,

    December 10, 2007 at 7:46

    Of course, Gelertner is referring to how, if adolescent boys have sex, they’ll be less likely to become cannon fodder in the great imperialistic war for hegemony…

    Well, that’s certainly part of the neoconservative idea(l). But, much as I hate to sound like a Marxist, the conservative position has always been “Premature sex is any kind we haven’t been able to make a profit off yet.”

    Keeping the teenagers separated, with barbed wire and crowbars if necessary, used to involve trading “maidenheads” for goods or services (to be paid to the unfortunate maiden’s family, of course, because they’d had all the trouble & expense of raising a mere baby-making machine). Today, it’s more about preventing “Instant Sex” so as to make the maximum “Instant Money”. And it’s not just the Pr0n industry, although pretty obviously there’s still many a dollar to be made in the naughty-images bizniss — large chunks of the consumer dollars spent on video games, techno-toys, gadgetry, mind-altering substances both licit and illegal, and even such humble commestibles as Cheetos and Mountain Dew represent sexual frustration or the wish to overcome such frustration. Not to mention the whole wedding industry, which includes not only the party-planners & cake-bakers & godsbotherers but also a significant part of the travel-planning brigade and a surprising percentage of department-store sales (china, silverware, furniture); these people get the biggest returns when two horny just-post-adolescents come straight from their respective nests, desperate to spend whatever it takes to ensure The Happiest Day of Their Lives!!!1! followed by The Perfect Honeymoon and then a brand-new household full of name-brand, undiscounted white goods and household appliances. Once you let teenagers go out and screw whoever they can persuade, whenever or wherever they can manage, you’ve just lost a lot of “disposable income” that the sexually un-desperate will spend on going places and learning things and finding pleasures that are more individually satisfying but a lot less amenable to marketization.

  206. Hoosier X said,

    December 10, 2007 at 7:56

    Well put, Anne Laurie.

  207. Anne Laurie said,

    December 10, 2007 at 8:02

    Mr. Clyde, what’s the deal on the lamb-people?

    Just a guess, but I’ve seen sheep in the 4-H barns at the state fair wearing cute little garments like that, to keep their wool all white & fluffy after they’ve been shampooed and before they’re judged for their looks, soundness & appearance. Possibly the rainbow colors make it easier to sort individual wooly blobs out in a field or a badly-lit pre-dawn county fair barn? (As for the frills, I will just note that many fine seamstresses are incapable of sewing any garment, however utilitarian its intent, without adding a little “extra” just for her own satisfaction. Or possibly his own satisfaction; perhaps Bob Mackie started with a single tasteful pearl edging… )

    (Which reminds me — I know nothing about the scoring of ovine competition, but I did take a Dairy Science course back in the early 1970s. At that time, a dairy cow being judged for comformation got a possible 100 points, 25 of them devoted to the size & shapeliness of her mammaries, and 10 for, my hand to god, “poise”.)

  208. Malignant Bouffant said,

    December 10, 2007 at 8:14

    Also, “[p]remarital, premature sex drains the power reserve that” can be channeled into religious activities.Free labor for religious institutions, really, and sending the horny little (non)fuckers out to scream at people on the streets.

    Hoosier, I’ve been mocking Mittens & Huckabilly on my Z-list no-traffic web log, if you’re at work & really bored.

  209. Calming Influence said,

    December 10, 2007 at 8:21

    I like Ann Laurie. More, please?

    jex

  210. Calming Influence said,

    December 10, 2007 at 8:23

    Did I say Ann? I meant Anne…

  211. Malignant Bouffant said,

    December 10, 2007 at 8:25

    Smut Clyde said it was some sort of art project. Not the Kiwi version of clothe the cows, alas.

    The “poise” thing may have to do w/ how well Elsie reacts to people, especially people w/ cold hands putting the grip on her shapely & sizable mammaries. You don’t want to tick off a cow. Or have an easily ticked cow.

  212. Smut Clyde said,

    December 10, 2007 at 9:20

    Did someone say ‘Tick’ and ‘cow’ in the same sentence?
    Look, a man-eating cow!

  213. lobbey said,

    December 10, 2007 at 9:33

    Just a question: What is instant sex anyways? Perhaps I’ve just lived a sheltered life but there’s always been some lapse of time (and a drink or two) between attraction and action.

    Drink or two? Sometimes it takes a lot more!

  214. Qetesh the Qaveat Qat said,

    December 10, 2007 at 9:55

    At that time, a dairy cow being judged for comformation got a possible 100 points, 25 of them devoted to the size & shapeliness of her mammaries, and 10 for, my hand to god, “poise”.

    Sounds like Miss World: Aussie cartoonist/writer Kaz Cooke referred to the judging criteria as “poise, fetlocks, and poise”. She also mentioned that the Miss Universe contest was so-named because people from other planets could enter.

    Personally, I’d rather watch the cows. Bovine, that is.

  215. Qetesh the Qaveat Qat said,

    December 10, 2007 at 10:03

    So what are the commercial possibilities of ovine aviation?

  216. NobodySpecial said,

    December 10, 2007 at 10:37

    Dirty little secret for the conservatives: Abstention really starts to pall after the first 35 years….

  217. The Dude Abides said,

    December 10, 2007 at 14:54

    Why is the dude who played Flounder writing about premarital sex anyway?

  218. Arky - Cthulhusexual said,

    December 10, 2007 at 15:41

    If life deals us lemons, shouldn’t we make lemonade?

    Ah, but when a troll deals us lemons, we should sing The Lemon Song until it goes away.

    It would be especially appropriate since we were discussing bodily PowerSteeringFluid.

  219. brooksfoe said,

    December 10, 2007 at 15:56

    Just one note: sex, instant or not, may not make you blind or grow hair on your hands, but it CAN cause you to lose to track meets. Or just not show up.

  220. Soj said,

    December 10, 2007 at 16:11

    I’m headed out the door to go dancing and god willing, to go deplete my “power reserve” ;)

  221. mmm...lemonheads said,

    December 10, 2007 at 17:08

    I’ve had a recent dry spell, if you will, that has lasted much longer than desired. And from this experience I have learned that it tends to make you a bit asexual, at least it has for me. I no longer peruse the pleasures of porn; it just bores me. I think this gentleman has had quite a longer dry spell (30 years plus, I’m guessing) and the transmogrification is complete.

  222. mmm...lemonheads said,

    December 10, 2007 at 17:10

    Also, if anyone knows a good place to pick up some instant sex (maybe a wholesale outlet?) I’m listening.

  223. Johnny Coelacanth said,

    December 10, 2007 at 18:33

    “If life deals us lemons, shouldn’t we make lemonade?”

    Henry Rollins tells us, if life gives you lemons, you say “Cool. I like lemons. Got any more?”

  224. Jon H said,

    December 10, 2007 at 18:33

    ” If life deals us lemons, shouldn’t we make lemonade?”

    No, they should be squeezed until the juice runs down our leg.

  225. rea said,

    December 10, 2007 at 18:39

    if anyone knows a good place to pick up some instant sex (maybe a wholesale outlet?)

    “I ask you, hey mister, have you seen Pictures of Lily?”

    http://dsc.discovery.com/news/briefs/20041213/gallery/cleopatra_zoom.jpg

  226. Halloween Jack said,

    December 10, 2007 at 18:58

    I used to feel sorry for him because of the Unabomber… now I have another reason.

  227. Arky - Cthulhusexual said,

    December 10, 2007 at 19:01

    Also, if anyone knows a good place to pick up some instant sex (maybe a wholesale outlet?) I’m listening.

    Overstock.com. Like the nice lady said, it’s all about the “O.”

  228. Mr. Unhinged said,

    December 10, 2007 at 20:41

    What’s a girl got to do to get a few dates with a smart, funny, politically astute and progressive guy? Sheesh.

    If you live in Colorado, you just have to call me.

  229. actor212 said,

    December 10, 2007 at 21:17

    Saul said,

    December 10, 2007 at 6:23

    America and Israel shall save Western Civilizaton from the islamo-facsist hordes and shall emerge triumphant!

    Then who saves Israel from the fundamentalist Christians, Saul? I realize you might not realize this, but you’ve been had if you think Pat Robertson is your friend.

  230. actor212 said,

    December 10, 2007 at 21:18

    Saul said,

    December 10, 2007 at 5:21

    The bottom line is, liberals are a bunch of godless heathens!

    That’s funny! I’ll have to include that in my sermon at Christmas. My congregation will have some fun with that.

  231. Steve Rossi said,

    December 10, 2007 at 22:01

    Sorry to be late to the party, but does anyone think it’s strange that David Gelertner and Marty “Hello Dere!” Allen are never seen in the same place?

    http://www.martyallen.net

  232. vitaminC said,

    December 10, 2007 at 22:07

    “Rightwingsnarkle said, But, what about blowjobs?”

    Only if you suck off Teh Brians. In ya head… Get it? Aw, shucks.

  233. Doctorb Science said,

    December 10, 2007 at 22:33

    The other great thing about the Jacob-Rachel story, and I’m surprised it went unmentioned here, is that after Jacob worked for seven years, Rachel’s dad was all “Okay, like I promised, you can marry my daughter now — my other daughter that is! She’s fugly! Haw haw, sucker!”

    What a great bunch of guys.

  234. Sir Charles said,

    December 10, 2007 at 22:51

    Rather than the “instant sex” I opt for the French press.

  235. Porcoises And Tuna said,

    December 12, 2007 at 9:15

    If you were blown up ten years ago by the Unabomber like Gelertner, what would your life focus be today? Think you’d be even keel?

    That being said, anyone remember why the Unabomber blew him up? Why, because he was working on PARALLEL COMPUTING. Which is what today all teh computar companies are marketing to all your 13 year old children.

    Teh Unabomber thought that Gelertner’s research might lead to a kinda “Terminator Skynet” scenario where teh robats become teh mastars.

    Is tehre no histary?

  236. Mason Kimbro said,

    February 29, 2012 at 9:56

    Thanks again for the article post.Thanks Again. Excellent.

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