Nov
27
27
Whole Lott O’ Love (Brief Refrain)
Well this is certainly settled:
Escort Throws Cold Water On Lott Rumor
November 26, 2007 11:14 PMA San Antonio-based gay male escort categorically denied Monday that outgoing GOP Sen. Trent Lott had ever procured his services, putting to bed one of the more stunning rumors to emerge following Lott’s announcement earlier in the day that he was leaving Congress.
After all, it’s not like the GOP would attempt to cover up such a thing.
Above (l-r): Trent Lott, Larry Craig
Paddy Mac said,
November 27, 2007 at 9:49
Did Lott give a reason for quitting? If he blathered the usual “time with family/private sector” GOP line, it would give the rumors some cred.
Plus, it’s been like, what, a week and a half since a Republican family valuist got outed, right? What’s with the delay?
Saul said,
November 27, 2007 at 9:51
This rumor proves that the driveby media is out to get Republicans, they had absolutely no proof to back up there insane assumptions. Thank heavens for the New Media.
anon said,
November 27, 2007 at 9:55
Ah, hell, make it a trio and you might have something:
http://www.chrisburke.org/
Paddy Mac said,
November 27, 2007 at 10:01
“This rumor proves that the driveby media is out to get Republicans…”
Yeah, who could possibly believe that a loudmouthed, bigoted right-winger was secretly gay?
“Thank heavens for the New Media.”
I agree. Without bloggers, we would not now have pics of every Congressional gay-baiter posing with Senator Wide Stance.
jacob m said,
November 27, 2007 at 10:06
Which imagine do you think is creepier:
1) Trent Lott vigorously schtupping a male escort with his toupe perfectly in place and never moving
or
2) Trent Lot vigorously schtupping a male escort while his toupe watches enviously from the nightstand and the metal snaps no doubt implanted in Lott’s scalp (for the affixing of the envious toupee) glinting evilly in the candlelight with each thrust?
joeyess said,
November 27, 2007 at 10:11
jacob m said,
November 27, 2007 at 10:06
Which imagine do you think is creepier:
1) Trent Lott vigorously schtupping a male escort with his toupe perfectly in place and never moving
or
2) Trent Lot vigorously schtupping a male escort while his toupe watches enviously from the nightstand and the metal snaps no doubt implanted in Lott’s scalp (for the affixing of the envious toupee) glinting evilly in the candlelight with each thrust?
Thank you. With that imagery you have just ruined the rest of my life.
joeyess said,
November 27, 2007 at 10:13
BTW, Saul?
Drive-by Media?
Do you Dittoheads have even ONE original thought?
a different brad said,
November 27, 2007 at 10:14
Trent Lott’s nephew was a prof of mine in undergrad. He looked like a cross between Trent and Quentin Tarantino, had nothing in common with him politically, n taught reasonably well.
In other not really related personal trivia, in boarding school I knew guy named Rich White. No lie.
Marco said,
November 27, 2007 at 10:21
When I first heard the latest “I’m a gay-hating Republican politician/closet dick sucker” rumor about Lott, I thought it was too good to be true.
That’s exactly what I said when the Ted Haggard scandal broke, but I digress.
As a gay man, I’d like to speak for all the Sadly ‘Mos and say “Take him back. We don’t want him.”That’s if of course these rumors are true.
Until then, I ask all Republicans to remain calm, eat your apple pie while reading Newsmax’s latest reporting on ancient Clinton non-scandals and please, by all means, rally around Old Glory Hole. Er, or something like that.
M. Bouffant said,
November 27, 2007 at 10:37
Didn’t he say he was quitting to become an environmental lobbyist, because he’s sad about all the oak trees knocked over by Hurricane Katrina? Also, lobbying rules are changing soon, so he wants to get his while the gettin’s good. He’ll have to wait two yrs. to lobby the Senate if he resigns after the end of the yr. If he goes before, he only has to wait one yr.
NYT: He lost his home here to Hurricane Katrina, then struggled with his insurance company as thousands of others here did, something he said had spurred him on as an advocate for storm victims.
Malkin sez he won’t be missed & should get out now. She’s just never happy, is she? A veritable rage-grrl.
Smut Clyde said,
November 27, 2007 at 11:03
the envious toupee
Either the name of a band, or the title of Edward Gorey’s last book.
Some Guy said,
November 27, 2007 at 11:13
Well, we’ll check our files on him, Marco, but if he’s even been with a black man, then I’m afraid that he can never go back. To women. It voids the warranty.
a different anon said,
November 27, 2007 at 12:06
Won’t anyone think of the Hasterts?
Jillian said,
November 27, 2007 at 12:28
I’m hearing stories that they are about to enact some ethics reforms that would require members of Congress to wait two years after leaving before becoming lobbyists, so Lott wants to get out while he can still get on the gravy train.
Haven’t yet consulted the Great Gazoogle on that one.
Nimrod Gently said,
November 27, 2007 at 14:16
OH FUCK YOU
zsa said,
November 27, 2007 at 14:38
Clearly, both Craig and Lott know how to, err, handle a mic, but when the Senator from Mississippi is found “cross-dressing”, it generally refers to this, and not this
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
November 27, 2007 at 14:43
You need coolin’
Baby I’m not foolin’.
Gonna send ya
Back to schoolin’.
kingubu said,
November 27, 2007 at 15:08
What Teh TeeVee taught me: If Lott leaves before the first of the year he can duck the new lobbying restrictions but he runs afoul of Mississippi state law that requires a special election within 100 days if a Senator splits in a non-election year. So, Lott either stays til next year (and then has to wait an extra year before becoming a lobbyist) or he pulls the cord now and forces the GOP to spend a pile of cash that they don’t have on a special election to fill his seat for a year.
Personally, I ain’t buyin’ the whole “quit before the lobbying rules change” bit. Lott himself acknowledged in his statement that the restriction on Members and Senators becoming lobbyists (one year currently, becomes 2 years in Jan.) only means that the lobbying firms bring the former elected in as “consultants” who tell the firm who to call and what to say rather than directly lobbying themselves.
My bet is that this connects somehow with Larry Flynt’s recent announcement that he is about to drop a giant what’s-in-his-underwear-drawer bomb on a sitting US Senator.
Arky - Cthulhusexual said,
November 27, 2007 at 15:30
Shorter Benjamin Nicholas: I may be a whore, but I’ve got standards.
In other news, jacob m is teh evil.
Woodrowfan said,
November 27, 2007 at 15:32
Do you Dittoheads have even ONE original thought?
Trick question as it assumes they actually have “thoughts.”
MzNicky said,
November 27, 2007 at 16:08
kingubu: I also favor the Larry Flynt story theory. In fact, I pray fervently every night to the Sky Fairy in Which I Don’t Believe that it be true.
g said,
November 27, 2007 at 16:28
It seems to me that if it were just the lobbying gig, Lott would have found a less startling way of announcing it. Funny his announcement uses the word “opportunity”, which makes it a little different from the usual “spending time with my family” ruse.
The fact that it came so abruptly and with such a short-term date for stepping down makes it suspicious. And the guy just ran for re-election, what, last year? Whatever the reason is, it obviously just came up recently, and made him change his plans.
kingubu said,
November 27, 2007 at 16:46
Hey, happy birthday, g.
Smiling Mortician said,
November 27, 2007 at 17:01
So is the impending Larry Flynt bombshell related to the LA Times’ insistence that it’s NOT sitting on a story about someone in power? Or are these two different scandals-in-waiting?
Moon Dragon said,
November 27, 2007 at 17:13
Isn’t the escort making the denials the same one who took the guy who ratted out the most Reverend Ted Haggard to task, effectively telling the boy “Once the check clears, what happens in you anus stays in your anus”?
md
g said,
November 27, 2007 at 17:17
thanks, kingubu
Gary Ruppert said,
November 27, 2007 at 17:17
The fact is, liberals are obsessed with gayness, and will do anything to support their own, but kick Republican gays to the curb as they disprove their stereotypes and indicate that conservatism is a big tent, unlike liberals who are biased against things they don’t like.
Trilateral Chairman said,
November 27, 2007 at 17:26
…he pulls the cord now and forces the GOP to spend a pile of cash that they don’t have on a special election to fill his seat for a year.
Wait a sec. Lott’s seat is pretty safe for the GOP, isn’t it? And why would the GOP have to pay for the election anyway?
So far I think that this is just a rats-off-a-sinking-ship moment for Lott, but I’ll be interested to see if there’s anything more out there.
Moon Dragon said,
November 27, 2007 at 17:30
Actually, Gary, liberals judge people on behavior, not status. Being gay doesn’t get you a pass if you behave badly. Only a fool would support people based on something as shallow as orientation or pigmentation or professions of beliefs not truly held. But then, I guess The Rev. Pat Robertson sees the real good in Rudy, not just another ticket to suck on the White House teat.
md
Legalize said,
November 27, 2007 at 17:40
Really, Fake Gary? Liberals are obsessed with homosexuality?
http://www.conservapedia.com/Homosexuality
kingubu said,
November 27, 2007 at 17:44
Wait a sec. Lott’s seat is pretty safe for the GOP, isn’t it? And why would the GOP have to pay for the election anyway?
Yep, probably safely GOP in any case but every campaign– even in friendly territory– costs money. And, given the existing fundraising gap, (funny how they can’t seem to raise much cash now that the DeLay/Abramoff dirty money machine is dismantled) I can’t imagine that the national party is too happy about having to spend the extra dollars.
J— said,
November 27, 2007 at 17:50
Happy birthday to g!
(Lex) Skink Tyree (Azagthoth) said,
November 27, 2007 at 17:57
Wait, “conservapedia” is real? How much worse can things get? Fuck!
actor212 said,
November 27, 2007 at 18:11
He looked more like he makes Lindsey Graham his pony-boy, anyway.
John T said,
November 27, 2007 at 18:13
Damn you for making me click the link to that conservapedia page. It’s packed so full of pseudo-science, willful misreadings, outdated stereotypes, warmed-over bigotry, scaremongering, discredited theology, wool-over-your-eyes legalese, blatant slander, and literally hundreds of worthless footnotes that it made my eyes bleed.
actor212 said,
November 27, 2007 at 18:13
Trick question as it assumes they actually have “thoughts.”
Nope. Just facts.
J— said,
November 27, 2007 at 18:15
How much worse can things get? Fuck!
Have you seen Media Mythbusters?
Simba B said,
November 27, 2007 at 18:19
Lex, I point you to teh Conservapedia usage statistics. As I said on my journal, that’s all you need to know about the conservative movement, ever.
J— said,
November 27, 2007 at 18:22
Conservapedia usage statistics
Ha. I hadn’t seen that before. Thanks, Simba B.
(Lex) Skink Tyree (Azagthoth) said,
November 27, 2007 at 18:25
Oh crimeny! I again beg forgiveness for ever consorting with such people. Having met real live conservative wingnuts, I now know the depth of their madness, or at least I think I know until you guys show me more. Egads, it’s like this new channel that just popped up on my cable menu, “JCTV”. Kirk Cameron is back, and now he’s nuts!
FORGIVE!!
PLEASE!!
FORGIVE!!
J— said,
November 27, 2007 at 18:34
Ryan Grim of the Politico has compiled a highlight list of Lott quotes. My favorite: “The spirit of Jefferson Davis lives in the 1984 Republican platform.”
Trilateral Chairman said,
November 27, 2007 at 18:59
I wonder how long the rank-and-file will continue believing the GOP’s schtick about “family values.” It’s transparently obvious that they don’t believe it, given that the party pantheon contains any number of divorces, including two (Giuliani and Gingrich) who were unspeakably cruel to the wives they were discarding. Then you’ve got the innumerable gay men in the ranks, not to mention the occasional gambler like Bill Bennett.
The GOP’s approach is usually pretty simple. Their candidate will get up and mouth some words about traditional marriage, strong families, etc. Social conservatives, who love themselves some gay-bashing, will take this to be an endorsement of their views and vote accordingly. Libertarian and fiscal conservatives, who *don’t* like this sort of thing, understand that the GOP will never take serious action on these issues, and that it’s safe to vote for these guys so they can get their tax breaks.
I do wonder if it’s changing, though. For obvious reasons, Mitt Romney has used his own marriage as a campaign talking point. Now, though, we have Andy McCarthy at National Review Online claiming that he’s “surprised — and offended — that Mitt claims voters are worried about a candidate who has ‘been married more than once.’”
McCarthy, you see, has been married twice (just like Ronald Reagan!) and thinks it unlikely that people will vote on such issues.
One wonders where he’s been for the last thirty years.
SamFromUtah said,
November 27, 2007 at 19:07
I wonder how long the rank-and-file will continue believing the GOP’s schtick about “family values.”
I’m not sure they believe it now, but they do still believe the last-ditch “We may be bad, but the DemonCRAPs are even worse!”, maybe because the democrats don’t beat the family values drum hard enough.
Marmoset said,
November 27, 2007 at 19:20
Um, I don’t mean to be offensive, but, like, all the kids I know say the vests those two are wearing in the picture are like, totally gay.
mat said,
November 27, 2007 at 19:21
Trent Lott’s gay?
Holy shit, what’s next, Rick Santorum is fucking dogs?
Righteous Bubba said,
November 27, 2007 at 19:25
I’m not sure they believe it now, but they do still believe the last-ditch “We may be bad, but the DemonCRAPs are even worse!”, maybe because the democrats don’t beat the family values drum hard enough.
I think of the Simpsons gag with the Republican motto being “We’re Just Plain Evil” while the Democrats get “We Can’t Govern” and I wonder if it was funnier in 1994 or now.
FlipYrWhig said,
November 27, 2007 at 19:27
the vests those two are wearing in the picture are like, totally gay.
Bunch of flags.
SamFromUtah said,
November 27, 2007 at 19:30
I wonder if it was funnier in 1994 or now.
Definitely funnier back then. It’s still funny but in a much darker way - I think the “We can’t govern” would be half-solved if the democrats stopped believing they had to act like Republicans.
Seriously, there’s got to be some way to let some of the fart-gas out of the Beltway bubble.
Djur said,
November 27, 2007 at 19:43
Righteous Bubba: The Dems are also holding a sign that says “We Hate Life And Ourselves,” one of my favorite Simpsons bits ever.
The episode is “Bart’s Elephant”, by the way.
D-Chance. said,
November 27, 2007 at 19:44
The rumor is always more important than the truth.
BTW, Hillary is a lesbian, I heard from certain sources…
Righteous Bubba said,
November 27, 2007 at 19:49
The rumor is always more important than the truth.
BTW, Hillary is a lesbian, I heard from certain sources…
It seems to me that there’s a difference in bombshell value when the one party adopts a GAAAHHHH!!!! FAAAAAAGS!!!! policy whenever a bump in the polls is necessary.
mikey said,
November 27, 2007 at 19:51
Y’know, Trent Lott is a miserable racist opportunist scumbag, and if his replacement in the senate is the very angry rotting corpse of atilla the hun, it will be a net gain for humanity…
mikey
MrWonderful said,
November 27, 2007 at 19:53
Trilateral–
Cf. Thomas Frank’s great litany in the introduction to What’s The Matter With Kansas?
“Their grandstanding leaders never deliver…Vote to stop abortion; receive a rollback in capital gains taxes. Vote to make our country strong again; receive deindustrialization. Vote to screw those politically correct college professors; receive electricity deregulation. Vote to get government off our backs; receive conglomeration and monopoly everywhere from media to meat-packing. Vote to stand tall against terrorists; receive Social Security privatization. Vote to strike a blow against elitism; receive a social order in which wealth is more concentrated than ever before…”
A great inconvenience to hand-type it in, but worth it.
Matt T. said,
November 27, 2007 at 20:06
BTW, Hillary is a lesbian, I heard from certain sources…
Well, I heard she killed Vince Foster after having an affair with him (mainly because he’s black), only married/stays with her husband for political reasons, and was the reason the guys in Metallica cut off their long hair.
g said,
November 27, 2007 at 20:08
Vince Foster was black? Who knew?
FlipYrWhig said,
November 27, 2007 at 20:18
Vince Foster after having an affair with him (mainly because he’s black)
Black politicians have all the power. Like Sherrod Brown.
Fozzetti said,
November 27, 2007 at 20:37
Gary Rupert… take away the “R” in his names and he is Gay U pet.
J— said,
November 27, 2007 at 20:39
Hustler magazine’s brief statement on the matter:
From Larry Flynt’s web page.
Humor Me said,
November 27, 2007 at 20:40
That shot of Craig invites some photoshoperficatin’, what with the blissful straining and the hands in a classic BJ with assgrab pose. I see him pulling Denny Hastert’s quivering man hips toward his eager mouth, or something like that.
Typical Republican said,
November 27, 2007 at 20:57
Liberals hate fags! Ya hear! I know I sometimes say that the fag agenda is a major part of the great liberal conspiracy to bring down America and force Sharona Law on us all! But that doesn’t make me inconsistent!
No, not inconsistent for a typical republican.
It makes me average.
Liberals. Hmf.
Righteous Bubba said,
November 27, 2007 at 21:01
Hustler magazine’s brief statement on the matter:
Har har har.
objectivelypro said,
November 27, 2007 at 21:04
I point you to teh Conservapedia usage statistics.
Heh. The Homophobopedia.
Tender Mercenaries said,
November 27, 2007 at 21:22
Come on, people! Whatever happened to innocent until proven horny?
Ruben P said,
November 27, 2007 at 21:22
Metallica was straight? Who knew?
MzNicky said,
November 27, 2007 at 21:29
My only question is, did Hitlery turn lesbo before or after she killed Vince Foster (AND Ron Brown in the airplane crash too, don’t forget)?
g said,
November 27, 2007 at 21:37
the great liberal conspiracy to bring down America and force Sharona Law on us all!
Is that My Sharona Law?
Smiling Mortician said,
November 27, 2007 at 21:39
AND Ron Brown in the airplane crash too, don’t forget
No, that was Bill. Credit where it’s due.
Snorghagen said,
November 27, 2007 at 21:50
AND the Archduke Franz Ferdinand.
But in answer to your question, I’ve seen solid evidence that she went lez as a result of her mind-meld with the Islamic space mummies from Planet Satanos, which was part of her erotic Stalinist programming during her sophomore year at Wellesley.
This is not to be confused with her brief, uneventful abduction by extraterrestrial cephalopods during Bill Clinton’s first term as Governor of Arkansas.
mikey said,
November 27, 2007 at 21:52
You sure?
I thought it was Juvénal Habyarimana, and Cyprien Ntaryamira.
It’s hard to keep your deadheads of state straight, I guess…
mikey
Snorghagen said,
November 27, 2007 at 22:01
Gary Ruppert wrote:
Are you saying that gayosity is causing conservatives to pitch big tents?
g said,
November 27, 2007 at 22:04
unlike liberals who are biased against things they don’t like
See, conservatives are smarter than that! They’re biased against things they DO like!
Smut Clyde said,
November 27, 2007 at 22:14
kick Republican gays to the curb
“Kick XXXX to the curb” has taken the place of ‘dustbin of history’ in the Ruppert Book of Rhetoric.
But don’t we all fantasize of being kicked to the curb? Especially by Grace Jones?
Smut Clyde said,
November 27, 2007 at 22:16
And I’m sure, with a bit of effort, Huffingtonpost could have found an even less tasteful metaphor than “putting the rumor to bed”.
(Lex) Skink Tyree (Azagthoth) said,
November 27, 2007 at 22:41
This is what started driving people crazy over in wingnuttia, actually, my LGBT advocacy. First they thought it was just because Pim Fortuyn was gay, and I was “Pim’s Ghost” and all, then they figured “Muslims hate gays, so we should play along” or something, then they just all in the end got baffled.
That desire to be a dirty rotten fascist does seem to start with a spasmodic voicing of the hatred of teh geeeeey. It’s like Tourrette’s Syndrome. They just blurt out things like “They recruit”, or “not around the children”. Online and off. It was quite enlightening to me regarding the wingnut mind.
Sorry, I’ll write my memoirs of wingnuttia elsewhere. Memories just always get stirred here at this site.
Northern Observer said,
November 28, 2007 at 0:07
Thank you Larry Flint, keep up the good work.
Rufus said,
November 28, 2007 at 0:29
In other news,
Mrs Tilton said,
November 28, 2007 at 1:45
Jacob M:
Which imagine do you think is creepier:
1) Trent Lott vigorously schtupping a male escort with his toupe perfectly in place and never moving
or
2) Trent Lot vigorously schtupping a male escort while his toupe watches enviously from the nightstand and the metal snaps no doubt implanted in Lott’s scalp (for the affixing of the envious toupee) glinting evilly in the candlelight with each thrust?
You are a strange and dangerous man, Jacob. I pray you will use your powers only for good.
tigrismus said,
November 28, 2007 at 2:17
Too late.
PR said,
November 28, 2007 at 3:24
Did anybody notice the grip Trent has on that micrphone?
InsaneInTheCheneyBrain said,
November 28, 2007 at 3:59
Chocolate Thunder never asks questions during oral arguments.
MzNicky said,
November 28, 2007 at 4:36
What does it mean culturally that we now anxiously/eagerly await the latest news report from Larry Flynt?
I mean, holy fuck.
Mo's Bike Shop said,
November 28, 2007 at 5:19
Marmoset:
Beat. Me. To. It.
So, I’ll just say, God Bless Larry Flynt.
3D said,
November 28, 2007 at 14:54
I’m just saying, I think the title of this post might work better as “HO Lott O’ Love.”