26
Our Doomed Nation
For some reason, Mike Huckabee thinks that recruiting washed-up martial-arts ex-’stars’ will give his presidential campaign a needed boost.
This ad creates an interesting puzzle: From watching it, we can deduce that somebody out there is really goddamn stupid, but we don’t really know who.
Is it the Huckabee campaign, for thinking that anyone out there is dumb enough to use Chuck Norris’ endorsement as a basis for choosing the most powerful leader in the world? Or is it the people who actually do use Chuck Norris’ endorsement as a basis for choosing the most powerful leader in the world? Either way, I’m pretty sure our nation is basically doomed.
“Hey, ma! I’m a-votin’ fer Walker-Texas-Ranger!”
Gavin adds: It’s not like we couldn’t have seen this coming…
And if Chuck Norris is too rarefied, too coastal and elite-cultural a figure to suit some voters’ broadly American tastes, there’s also this:
Huckabee Stumps With Ric Flair
COLUMBIA, S.C. (AP) — Republican presidential hopeful Mike Huckabee carved out a corner of South Carolina’s biggest annual sporting event Saturday, drawing a throng of supporters to a college football tailgate appearance with former pro wrestler “The Nature Boy” Ric Flair.
Hey Huckabee staffers, you know who hasn’t endorsed anyone yet?
Above: Conservative pundit U. Warrior
Gundamhead said,
November 26, 2007 at 21:09
If it was someone like Jimmy Wang Yu I might give a shit. The One Armed Boxer is the kind of character whose opinions I can respect. Walker, Texas Ranger? Not so much.
Johnny Coelacanth said,
November 26, 2007 at 21:10
Hey, Huckabee heard about all those super-rad Chuck Norris facts and wanted to capture a little bit of that World of Warcraft nerd chic thing for himself. Fer instance “There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.” And “There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.”
And my favorite: ” There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.”
Hoosier X said,
November 26, 2007 at 21:13
Did you see Ron Paul’s latest endorsement? The Nevada brothel owner who was dragged to a Paul even by … Fucker Carlson?
Northern Observer said,
November 26, 2007 at 21:21
Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.
Well don’t that just explain everything.
NutellaonToast said,
November 26, 2007 at 21:21
Is this website unaware of the fact that more than once an actor has been elected to governorship and once even became president?
Seriously, the Norris endorsement is a serious issue.
Legalize said,
November 26, 2007 at 21:22
Sadly, I believe that having Chuck Norris in Huckabee’s camp will actually carry water with wingnut voters, because yeah, he’s a walking platitude totally lacking in substance, displaying absolutely zero substantive understanding of weighty issues. Wingnuts wet themselves at the very thought of such a man. See Fred Thompson.
InsaneInTheCheneyBrain said,
November 26, 2007 at 21:24
Can I PLEASE wake the fuck up and learn that the last 7 years was a dream? PLEASE?
kingubu said,
November 26, 2007 at 21:25
The 800-pound dumbass in the room is the Fuckabee campaign staffer who imagined that last years ironic riffing on Chuck Norris Facts would somehow translate into popular support.
I can’t wait for the “All ur base are belong to Huck” bumperstickers and the print ad showing a mushroom cloud with the caption “I CAN HAS NUKULAR FOOTSBALL?”
InsaneInTheCheneyBrain said,
November 26, 2007 at 21:26
I’m not convinced, but maybe if he had the support of a dug-up Bruce Lee, I’d think about it.
Johnny Coelacanth said,
November 26, 2007 at 21:28
Chuck Norris CAN believe it’s not butter.
Righteous Bubba said,
November 26, 2007 at 21:30
The 800-pound dumbass in the room is the Fuckabee campaign staffer who imagined that last years ironic riffing on Chuck Norris Facts would somehow translate into popular support.
And the irony – for me at least – comes from the fact that Chuck Norris is about the most boring and uninteresting action star there ever was.
If only Marv Throneberry was alive to endorse Huckabee.
mds said,
November 26, 2007 at 21:30
And my favorite: ” There is no theory of evolution….”
Stop right there, and it’s already a Huckabee fact.
Hey, perhaps this will be the next big internet thing, up there with “Stevens Tubes,” “Audible Laughter Animal Captions,” or taping bacon to one’s cat:
“Mike Huckabee trashes Arkansas government hard drives with his mind.”
“Why does Justice wear a blindfold? Because Mike Huckabee poked her eyes out with Wayne Dumond’s testicles.”
“There’s no such thing as ‘women’s rights,’ only Mike Huckabee’s permission.”
Hmm, this is actually more difficult than I realized.
Hoosier X said,
November 26, 2007 at 21:31
Meiko Kaji can whup Chuck Norris with one arm -somebody else’s – handcuffed to her wrist.
t4toby said,
November 26, 2007 at 21:31
kingubu- that is the only way that Huckabee has a chance.
Come to think of it, the first candidate to use LOLcats probably has my vote.
I’m a big fan of kitsch.
Johnny Coelacanth said,
November 26, 2007 at 21:31
I read Norris’ autobiography about 10 years ago. He sounded like an intelligent, grounded guy with an interesting, disciplined outlook on life. I wasn’t sure, because he didn’t come out and say it, but I thought he was a Buddhist. Something happened to him in the interim. Maybe all those blows to the head are finally sinking in.
El_Cid said,
November 26, 2007 at 21:34
I honestly think that Bush Jr. actually burned out our nation’s previously unbeatable fascination with “stupid” as a qualification for office-holding. For a while at least. I feel like people actually got enough of that, and watching the Katrina disaster made a whole, lot of people who used to seem to like them dang folks like theyselves over them damn pointy-headed big thinkin’ types to suddenly say, “Hey, maybe havin’ a bunch a damn ijits in ain’t doin’ us no damn goodatall.”
Kathleen said,
November 26, 2007 at 21:34
I would be impressed if he got Bruce Lee’s endorsement.
KiwiHopeful said,
November 26, 2007 at 21:37
All I want to know is, who are Gary Busey, Steven Segal, and Ted Nugent endorsing?
actor212 said,
November 26, 2007 at 21:41
*shrug*
People buy that egregious Total Body Gym based on his recommendation…
t4toby said,
November 26, 2007 at 21:41
Nugent is already in for Huckabee.
Kathleen said,
November 26, 2007 at 21:43
damn! not quick enough.
Snorghagen said,
November 26, 2007 at 21:45
Yeah.
Retired General Tony McPeak, former member of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, quoted in Rolling Stone last March:
America has been conducting an experiment for the past six years, trying to validate the proposition that it really doesn’t make any difference who you elect president. Now we know the result of that experiment [laughs]. If a guy is stupid, it makes a big difference.
Smiling Mortician said,
November 26, 2007 at 21:56
And good for McPeak, I guess. But why do these interviews show up in places like Rolling Stone and not in, oh I dunno, the New York Times or something? Can’t we please be done with the whole it’s-not-nice-to-make-fun-of-retard-presidents-in-the-big-league-press thing?
Snorghagen said,
November 26, 2007 at 21:56
A Fred Thompson / Chuck Norris ticket would be a match made in heaven.
But since these characters have no substance anyway, why should the Republicans limit themselves to actual living human beings? They could have Sergeant Rock as Secretary of Defense, the Pillsbury Doughboy as Press Secretary, and Mr. Magoo as Attorney General. The possibilities are endless.
steve EVfuture said,
November 26, 2007 at 21:57
I think he is counting on the fact that it’s the American public that is “really goddamn stupid” and will take a Chuck Norris endorsement seriously. I’m betting it will get him votes.
(Lex) Skink Tyree (Azagthoth) said,
November 26, 2007 at 21:59
It’s the “my celebrity can beat up your celebrity” mentality. I’m not sure though, something tells me that Oprah could take Chuck in a fight these days.
mikey said,
November 26, 2007 at 21:59
I find it interesting that americans only care about the endorsement of fake tough guys.
Not a peep about who Demo Dickie Marcincko supports.
Oh, I promise you it would be a wingnut. Hell, it might even be Huck – Hyuck, but my money’s on Giuliani.
mikey
t4toby said,
November 26, 2007 at 22:02
Hyuck- Even better than Fuckabee, mikey.
t4toby said,
November 26, 2007 at 22:04
Who can beat up Yoda? NO ONE!!!1!
What do we have to do to get Yoda to endorse our candidate? Any word from Kos the Overlord of who that candidate may be?
Or maybe the Sentinel from the Marvel universe? That guy kicked so much ass!
t4toby said,
November 26, 2007 at 22:06
Specifically Nimrod.
Clint said,
November 26, 2007 at 22:06
And if that’s not enough for you, Ric Flair has put his stamp of approval on Huckabee.
Jeez.
Righteous Bubba said,
November 26, 2007 at 22:06
Or maybe the Sentinel from the Marvel universe? That guy kicked so much ass!
Good point. I would vote for anyone who could guarantee that Galactus wouldn’t eat our planet.
mds said,
November 26, 2007 at 22:07
something tells me that Oprah could take Chuck in a fight these days.
What do you mean, “these days”?
“Mike Huckabee didn’t just break ethics regulations, he reduced them to their component atoms.”
“Mike Huckabee can hammer a railroad spike through the Constitution… with his armpit hair.”
“Mike Huckabee roundhouse kicked the press credentials of the Arkansas Times so hard, they were revoked clear back to the beginning of time.”
t4toby said,
November 26, 2007 at 22:11
So to sum up:
Chuck Norris
Ted Nugent
Ric Flair
Who’s next? Dog the Bounty Hunter?
pedestrian said,
November 26, 2007 at 22:21
the Pillsbury Doughboy as Press Secretary
The press would eat him alive.
and Mr. Magoo as Attorney General
Hey, he might actually talk during hearings, assuming that he is at dinner! But then, he is genuinely oblivious, so it wouldn’t matter. Draw.
mds said,
November 26, 2007 at 22:23
Who’s next? Dog the Bounty Hunter?
Whoever else best exemplifies Huckabee’s deep devotion to Jesus Christ, the Prince of Peace. Unfortunately, using Frank Castle would probably run afoul of Marvel’s intellectual property.
Hmm, religious-themed ones:
“Jesus turned the other cheek; Mike Huckabee punches people out with his ass cheeks.”
“Mike Huckabee doesn’t forgive; he waits.”
Hoosier X said,
November 26, 2007 at 22:29
Didn’t they already do the last two?
Vin Scully said,
November 26, 2007 at 22:30
Ric Flair? If Huckabee has swayed the decisive Nature Boy vote, I might need to rethink my lefty political ways.
WOOOOO!!!! Stylin’ and profilin’ in 08! (ya buncha hippies)
Marco said,
November 26, 2007 at 22:31
I thought republicans hated these Hollyweirdos?
Eh, I did love the Octagon. Of course, I was 8 at the time. I also used to eat crayons.
Legalize said,
November 26, 2007 at 22:33
Holy shit: http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20071126/us_nm/quietriot_death_dc
No longer feelin’ the noise? :(
Righteous Bubba said,
November 26, 2007 at 22:35
No longer feelin’ the noise? :(
His hair died long before then.
Garry Rupert said,
November 26, 2007 at 22:36
The fact is, Chuck Norris punched a girl in the face while he was driving a convertible, and John Edwards won’t even drive a convertible because of he doesn’t want to mess-up his expensive haircut. Real Americans know that Chuck Norri’s beard is worth more than John Edward’s hair. In the Heartland we know that Chuck Norris could beat Barack “Osama” Obama to a pulp — using Hitlery Cleniston as a bludjun. True Red-Blooded Americans, not double-decaf-chardonnay-liberals, will vote for Huckabee because (A) he is a True Conservative and (2) they want to pull the Walker, Texas Ranger lever.
Snorghagen said,
November 26, 2007 at 22:37
I can’t help but think that these are too subtle for the target audience. I think you’d get better results with:
“Mike Huckabee wants to squash frogs with his bare feet – just like you!”
or maybe just:
“Mike Huckabee kick open door – scream – punch in the face – smash window – vote for President – Huckabee!!!!”
moondancer said,
November 26, 2007 at 22:42
It’s the stagnant gene-pool thing. Arkansas just got a Chuck Norris movie at the drive-in, so he’s pretty hot right now. But he replaces a very popular Chuck Heston, so he’s got some big shoes to fill.
Huckleberry should be able to ride the big Hollywood money to a very impressive finish in many of the Appalachian states that share the DNA and lack of dentists.
bladule said,
November 26, 2007 at 22:44
Am I the only one to find it quite ironic, that tough boy’s most famous movie (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Way_of_the_Dragon) featured a scene where he got his ass kicked by a chinese citizen (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bruce_Lee). When China is arguably the most challenging nation to the us superpower economically. I also understand China represents a threat to the us(http://www.sadlyno.com/archives/7906.html).
Arkansas Dave said,
November 26, 2007 at 22:48
Hey! We got a dentist! You just take the Toad Suck ferry across Big Crick. Dr. Bo will pull a bad tooth for a hogshead of cheese.
You elites and your stereotypes.
Dorothy said,
November 26, 2007 at 22:49
I think you’d get better results with:
“Mike Huckabee wants to squash frogs with his bare feet – just like you!”
Or maybe
“Mike Huckabee doesn’t just squash frogs: he shoves firecrackers up their asses and watches them explode!”
“Mike Huckabee doesn’t just kick cats: he cuts them open just to see what they look like inside!”
Oh, wait…
Snorghagen said,
November 26, 2007 at 22:51
Is i an elite?
HumboldtBlue said,
November 26, 2007 at 22:52
Well, if Chuck Norris is on the side of a man who made it his political life to release a convicted murderer/rapist from prison, the world has truly gone mad.
Now Chuck is going to have to get his Ranger badge all buffered up and go out and find this bad dude.
If Chuck needs any help, I recommend the A-Team. I mean, the goofy science guy was also the arsonist in the movie version of the Stand.
And don’t get me started on Mr. T.
roy edroso said,
November 26, 2007 at 22:53
Either way, I’m pretty sure our nation is basically doomed.
[flaps arms in frustration like Lou Costello] That’s what I been tryin’ to tell ya!
Garry Rupert said,
November 26, 2007 at 22:55
The sad fact is that you marxist liberals are so concerned with frogs and cats and Arabs that you don’t care about embryos.
RodeoBob said,
November 26, 2007 at 22:55
I like Fake Gary, but this last one reads more like Fake Swank…
g said,
November 26, 2007 at 22:58
Can Huckabee help me with my squirrel problem?
Righteous Bubba said,
November 26, 2007 at 22:59
I see the proper spelling of Nnation has been restored.
Garry Rupert said,
November 26, 2007 at 23:00
You liberals see a homoerotic subtext in every comment because you are obsessed with homosexual acts. Real Heartland Americans enjoy straight, married relationships like God intended, and manly sports like wrestling, or going out into the woods with other men.
Tor Johnson said,
November 26, 2007 at 23:00
Bela, who should Tor endorse?
Some Guy said,
November 26, 2007 at 23:02
Having Mike Huckabee make a “Chunk Norris Meme el oh el” kills off any lingering amusement left in them.
Marco said,
November 26, 2007 at 23:08
No need for fake Gary. The real Gary is funny enough.
Garry Rupert said,
November 26, 2007 at 23:14
The fact is, Chuck Norris Meme (whatever a “meme” is) is still way better than your latte-drinking, Volvo driving, nipple piercing, Arbeiter-Zeitung-reading liberals’ “I Heart Huckabees” references, because at least some people have SEEN Chuck Norris. I mean, “existentialist detectives”? Real Heartland Americans know that only rationalists and empiricists (meaning Christians, which Chuck Norris is, he just used to be sort of into Buddhism but now isn’t) make good detectives.
UPDATE: liberals will be sad to know that the very popular BORAT has endorsed Governor Huckabee, saying he “is the man to continue George Walter (sic) Bush’s War Of Terror”. Limp-wristed liberals only have annoying celebrities like Rosie O’Donnell and Flavor Flav.
Garry Rupert said,
November 26, 2007 at 23:15
Okay.
Kathleen said,
November 26, 2007 at 23:27
you can tell the Real Gary by comparing his posts to the Drudge Report headlines. The correlation is eerie.
Slippytoad said,
November 26, 2007 at 23:28
I suppose it would be too funny to just not mention this . . . but Wayne Dumond has been dead for several years now. It would be hilarious to let these Keystone Kops rush off in search of him. But he’s done.
However, let’s continue to mention these three names:
Mike Huckabee, Wayne Dumond, and of course Carol Shields.
r78 said,
November 26, 2007 at 23:43
Remember, there isn’t a chin under Chuck Norris’ beard, just another Fist!
t4toby said,
November 26, 2007 at 23:53
Well, there is this.
Righteous Bubba said,
November 26, 2007 at 23:55
Remember, there isn’t a chin under
I remembered that up at comment #2.
MzNicky said,
November 27, 2007 at 0:00
Huckleberry should be able to ride the big Hollywood money to a very impressive finish in many of the Appalachian states that share the DNA and lack of dentists.
Watch it there, moondancer. I’m sure you wouldn’t want to promulgate an ugly regional stereotype.
Plus, two words, and each a proper noun at that: Bill Clinton.
t4toby said,
November 27, 2007 at 0:02
Oh, and this.
Maybe we should call you Self-Righteous Bubba, no?
a different mikey said,
November 27, 2007 at 0:06
Well, what about Billy Blank? Who’s he gonna endorse? He can really fight but he’s an endorsing machine. If Barack slipped him enough of the readies he might bring him on board.
Every candidate gets a fighting action figure and they all duke it out live on the tube and then America votes with Caligulan thumbs up or down. Takes Dieboldt right out of it, brings in the true democracy Hamilton woke up nights screaming about.
Woohoo!
Bill Richardson’s got all those Lucha Libre fun folks, it’s got potential.
actor212 said,
November 27, 2007 at 0:06
Chuck Norris Meme…wasn’t that the bastard child he fathered in ‘Nam in “Missing In Action, Part 69″?
moondancer said,
November 27, 2007 at 0:06
MzNicky-
Clinton? just trailer trash that got a good makeover. I stand by my stereotypes.
Righteous Bubba said,
November 27, 2007 at 0:12
Maybe we should call you Self-Righteous Bubba, no?
r78? That you?
J— said,
November 27, 2007 at 0:13
Who’s next? Dog the Bounty Hunter?
God, according to Pastor Larry Huch of New Beginnings church of Irving, TX.
r78 said,
November 27, 2007 at 0:14
No that wasn’t me. Just somebody else who also thinks you are a prick, I guess.
t4toby said,
November 27, 2007 at 0:15
Sorry, RB, I just had to…
MzNicky said,
November 27, 2007 at 0:16
Clinton? just trailer trash that got a good makeover. I stand by my stereotypes.
Er..oh. Okay. Then how about Al Gore? Last I checked he had all his teeth, a few enviable entries on his resume, and a, what was it, oh yeah, NOBEL PEACE PRIZE. Or does your Appalachian stereotype not apply to him because he was never “trailer trash”? Or is he “trailer trash” anyway by virtue of simply being a son of the South? Please advise. I do so want to know how this works.
Righteous Bubba said,
November 27, 2007 at 0:18
I will survive. As long as I know how to love I know I’ll stay alive.
r78 said,
November 27, 2007 at 0:20
I am sick and tired of people thinking I may or may not be a prick just because I share the common name r78 with millions of other people.
Which is not to say anyone else named r78 is a prick, or to say that faux-insulting Righteous Bubba is, er, funny. Or something.
Beth said,
November 27, 2007 at 0:20
Did someone say my name?
Ann Althouse said,
November 27, 2007 at 0:22
Onion Rings are VAGINAS!!
I wonder if Chuck Norris is hung like Bill Clinton…I mean, uh
I HATE THE CLENIS!!!
J— said,
November 27, 2007 at 0:24
Hey, r78, have you heard this one? “There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.”
RodeoBob said,
November 27, 2007 at 0:27
Actually, I was referring to the tortured syntax and poor grammar so common in Pastor Swank’s writing. Why? What homoerotic subtext were you obsessed with? (I mean, you wrote it…)
And how did you get ‘homoerotic’ from a reference to Pastor Swank? The man’s a religious leader for goodness sake! We all know that pastors and reverends and ministers are the least likely sources of homoerotic activity!
Righteous Bubba said,
November 27, 2007 at 0:30
I likes postin unner other peoplez names.
MzNicky said,
November 27, 2007 at 0:32
so does I
Kathleen said,
November 27, 2007 at 0:32
you keep lavishing SN with comments, RB.
MzNicky said,
November 27, 2007 at 0:33
That last MzNicky was not me.
MzNicky said,
November 27, 2007 at 0:36
No, the last one was not me.
Who is this imposter?
Righteous Bubba said,
November 27, 2007 at 0:36
I can haz nou ID?
Righteous Bubba said,
November 27, 2007 at 0:37
I am pleased to be freaked out over.
MzNicky said,
November 27, 2007 at 0:38
As the real MzNicky, I am completely appalled that someone would think that someone else posting under my name would, in all actuality, be me.
MzNicky said,
November 27, 2007 at 0:38
I was not freaking out.
t4toby said,
November 27, 2007 at 0:39
Between Beth and Althouse, I don’t think I will ever get tired of that game. But then again, I am easily amused.
MzNicky said,
November 27, 2007 at 0:41
Well I do not find it amusing at all.
It is hurtful behavior.
Gavin M. said,
November 27, 2007 at 0:42
Um, is our certain troll friend making a nuisance of himself again with the name-stealing thing?
MzNicky said,
November 27, 2007 at 0:43
Wow! I’m flattered. Now I join the S.N! pantheon of commenters whose identification has been hijacked.
moondancer? Is that you? Couldn’t come up with a snappy comeback to my Al Gore response, eh? Stealing someone else’s name is pretty pathetic, though. A simple “You’re right, MzNicky, I’m a poopy head and I apologize” would have sufficed. It would have made you look much more intelligent besides.
The Real MzNicky said,
November 27, 2007 at 0:43
Gavin: So it seems.
Gavin M. said,
November 27, 2007 at 0:44
Oh, now I understand what happened.
SamFromUtah said,
November 27, 2007 at 0:45
Wait a minute – this mini-documentary strongly hinted that Chuck Norris was dead. Since that’s the most I’ve paid attention to anything that had anything to do with Chuck Norris ever, I thought he was dead.
J— said,
November 27, 2007 at 0:46
[Ding dong]
May I be of assistance?
Ann Althouse said,
November 27, 2007 at 0:48
Good morning, everyone. I’ll be off-line for most of the morning, so please use this space to gather and talk about what you like. I’ll join you later.
Righteous Bubba said,
November 27, 2007 at 0:49
“Wow! I’m flattered. Now I join the S.N! pantheon of commenters whose identification has been hijacked.”
I think I was the first today, wasn’t I?
Because it is important to me.
Smut Clyde said,
November 27, 2007 at 0:52
Gavin adds: It’s not like we couldn’t have seen this coming…
Has it been a whole year since you welcomed Norris onto the scene? How time has flown.
Let me guess what else was happening in the S,N! threads of last year… [adopts Kreskin pose]… a president said something inane… the Poor Man Institute website was down…
Do I win anything?
Qetesh the Abyssinian said,
November 27, 2007 at 0:54
mds, why do you want to tape bacon to me? What have I ever done to you?
[Thinks. Hmmm, bacon...]
On second thoughts, go ahead and do your worst. We’ll see who rusts first.
Hoosier X said,
November 27, 2007 at 0:55
Nobody ever steal my name.
(Cries just a little.)
t4toby said,
November 27, 2007 at 0:55
Aww, c’mon, guys! You can see from the link in the name that it was me. you know, when you put your cursor over the name that is highlighted in blue, it show where that link goes to? Anyone? Anyone?
Have you no sense of humor?
PS: Does that make me a troll?
I guess that would make me the resident troll, then.
Qetesh the Abyssinian said,
November 27, 2007 at 0:56
They could have Sergeant Rock as Secretary of Defense, the Pillsbury Doughboy as Press Secretary, and Mr. Magoo as Attorney General.
I think they just did that Attorney General thing.
Simba B said,
November 27, 2007 at 0:57
I think there’s someone else stealing names and links, t4toby.
t4toby said,
November 27, 2007 at 0:58
They can have mine. Never did me much good anyways.
Garry Rupert said,
November 27, 2007 at 0:58
Gary Ruppert is the fake Garry Rupert.
Ann Althouse said,
November 27, 2007 at 0:59
Name stealing is no joke. I’m off to quaff about a liter of box Chardonnay, then I’ll be back to deal with you little turds.
Smiling Mortician said,
November 27, 2007 at 1:00
And only Gavin understands the complexity of it. Well, all’s right with the world. Er . . . left.
Righteous Bubba said,
November 27, 2007 at 1:00
Mine’s fairly stupid, so what the heck. I should grab a better one from the Name Retardo thread.
Name and Link Stealer said,
November 27, 2007 at 1:01
Yep.
And let me tell you why I am doing it.
Three times in previous threads, people have stolen my name.
So childish is as childish does – or something like that.
Matt said,
November 27, 2007 at 1:01
Please. Given Ric Flair’s history, I wouldn’t be surprised if, after
Huckabee wins the Republican nomination, Flair stands beside him on
the podium, raises Huckabee’s arm in the air, then turns towards him
and kicks him in the nuts. Huck falls to the ground and Flair beats
him unconscious, before ripping off his suit jacket to reveal a John
Edwards t-shirt.
“John Edwards is a limousine ridin’, jet flying, kiss stealin’,
wheelin’ dealing, son of a gun….WOOOOOOO!”
Smiling Mortician said,
November 27, 2007 at 1:01
Funny you should mention it, RB (if that’s really you). Just this morning I was thinking of mining that thread. I’ve grown weary of smiling.
Patkin said,
November 27, 2007 at 1:01
Alright, while I understand the importance of dissing Huckabee, I will not, cannot, stand for the needless slandering of Ric Flair. Sure, he’s a Republican headcase from the Charlotte area, but…
It’s the Nature Boy, man! Have some respect!
mikey said,
November 27, 2007 at 1:02
Jeez, whaddaya gotta do to get name-stealed around here, fer crissakes.
Oh, Ok. I see where it helps to be smart and funny.
But what about me?
I’m usually at least offensive…
mikey
Ann Althouse said,
November 27, 2007 at 1:03
Name the Link Stealer is me.
Smiling Mortician said,
November 27, 2007 at 1:04
What, it’s not enough for you that we have at least three other mikeys and a troll who imagines that you have a scatological odor?
Righteous Bubba said,
November 27, 2007 at 1:05
Funny you should mention it, RB (if that’s really you). Just this morning I was thinking of mining that thread. I’ve grown weary of smiling.
There’s a lot of funny stuff there. It’s hard to resist picking something even more idiotic.
t4toby said,
November 27, 2007 at 1:05
Ahem…Ann?
Aren’t there some onion rings around wonder about? Any cigars you would like to stare wistfully at?
Smut Clyde said,
November 27, 2007 at 1:07
mds, why do you want to tape bacon to me?
You are a mathematician, Qetesh. Therefore you deserve an Erdos-Bacon number.
t4toby said,
November 27, 2007 at 1:08
I think I need a primer on the intert00bz. Is pretending to be someone the same as stealing their name? Do they go to some other site and pretend to be you? Does anyone really care?
“Boo-hoo, some people who I will never, ever meet think I said something out of character. Whaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!ELEVENTY!!!”
What Would Beth Do?
Smiling Mortician said,
November 27, 2007 at 1:09
I still like Substance McGravitas. But I need to go back and remind myself of the truly stupid options. Those would be better.
Qetesh the Abyssinian said,
November 27, 2007 at 1:09
t4toby said,
November 26, 2007 at 23:53
Well, there is this.
That one made me laugh. Particularly since, having seen Way Of The Dragon, I’d rather bonk a tree than Norris. Even the doll looks creepy.
But then, I’m a big fan of Bruce Lee. And Jimmy Wang Yu (who is reputedly a bit of a Hard Man in Hong Kong, having connections to triads and all). And Jet Li, who has real martial arts skills and could hurt people, despite being 5 foot 6 and a nice Buddhist person. And numerous other Chinese, Korean, and Japanese stars of action and drama.
If you tape bacon to a cat, will it always fall bacon side down?
J— said,
November 27, 2007 at 1:10
A Sadly, No! Screen Name Amnesty Day!
Patkin said,
November 27, 2007 at 1:13
Qetesh:
If you tape the bacon to the stomach of the cat, sure.
The better question is if you butter the back of a cat, which way will it fall?
Qetesh the Abyssinian said,
November 27, 2007 at 1:15
Smut, I once knew someone who had a finite Erdos number, and quite a small one at that. Could have been 1, or 2. But that’s life in the heady world of number theory.
I don’t think I’d mind having Bacon taped to me, but having Erdos taped to me would be rather icky, what with him having been dead for about a decade.
Qetesh the Abyssinian said,
November 27, 2007 at 1:15
Patkin: Oooh, butter me, baby!
(Lex) Skink Tyree (Azagthoth) said,
November 27, 2007 at 1:16
Hey now!! No one from the A-Team played the arsonist wacko in “The Stand”. Don’t get too close to my fantasy, as the Deaner would say. However, Dwight Schultz who played Murdock on the A-Team does have a right-winger radio show on the web. And one of his frequent guests is fellow wingnut/REALLY bad writer, Dirk Benedict, a.k.a. Face Man. But don’t drag George Peppard into this, he’s actually dead.
Oh, and what’s next? I don’t think anything more for the Huckster. Well, the Hulkster would be appropos, but still. No, I’m seeing a counter-strike of getting Ahnold to stand up for the Rudy. Something along those lines.
Righteous Bubba said,
November 27, 2007 at 1:21
A Sadly, No! Screen Name Amnesty Day!
That’s a funny idea. All the posts that day could be about really cranky stuff and everybody could fight it out without deference to prior opinions.
(Lex) Skink Tyree (Azagthoth) said,
November 27, 2007 at 1:21
OK, never mind, Mitt just said on CNN that he was thinking of signing up Mr. T. Just now. What is it with Wolf Blitzer, he doesn’t even try, and these guys just pour it all out?
Name and Link Stealer said,
November 27, 2007 at 1:27
So says Bubba – acting like he ain’t a name stealer his own self.
t4toby said,
November 27, 2007 at 1:28
Would we all be Seb?
t4toby said,
November 27, 2007 at 1:29
Keep it up, Namey, and I’ll figure out what this whole name stealing thing is and go after you. I really have nothing to lose.
(I’m talking to you, AA)
Smut Clyde said,
November 27, 2007 at 1:31
t4toby said,
I think I need a primer on the intert00bz. Is pretending to be someone the same as stealing their name? Do they go to some other site and pretend to be you? Does anyone really care?
“Boo-hoo, some people who I will never, ever meet think I said something out of character. Whaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!ELEVENTY!!!”
But think about it, t4toby (if that was the real pseudonym, and not just a nym) — it’s a real shock to the system when you open up a thread and find several comments already there with your name on. You think, “I don’t remember writing those… WTF was I drinking last night?… I gotta cut back on the dried leeches.”
So remember, before you name-steal, you might drive someone to sobriety. Do you really want that on your conscience?
Ann Althouse said,
November 27, 2007 at 1:31
I would hit it, t4toby. ;-)
Ann Althouse said,
November 27, 2007 at 1:32
Clyde, you are describing my life in general.
Yep, that pretty much sums it up.
Righteous Bubba said,
November 27, 2007 at 1:33
Would we all be Seb?
I was thinking of all new names, but if we were to go with one it would have to be all Althouse.
t4toby said,
November 27, 2007 at 1:34
Sort of a Malkevich thing?
BTW-Eww, did I just say that Ann would do me? That is bordering on fetishism.
J— said,
November 27, 2007 at 1:36
That’s a funny idea. All the posts that day could be about really cranky stuff and everybody could fight it out without deference to prior opinions.
This would be good. I was thinking of something a little more mundane, namely an agreed upon moment (a dedicated post, perhaps) when everyone doing a name change would announce their new names, just to facilitate the transition.
(Lex) Skink Tyree (Azagthoth) said,
November 27, 2007 at 1:36
Now that Obama has Oprah, will Hillary go after Opal from The Simpsons?
Righteous Bubba said,
November 27, 2007 at 1:40
Now that Obama has Oprah, will Hillary go after Opal from The Simpsons?
If only Sally Jessy still existed.
Fozzetti said,
November 27, 2007 at 1:40
Cheney has been hospitalized with an irregular heart beat. If he dies, who will Bush pick as VP?
Righteous Bubba said,
November 27, 2007 at 1:44
who will Bush pick as VP?
Satan. Who else could fill those shoes?
t4toby said,
November 27, 2007 at 1:45
I was going to say Hilter’s ghost.
t4toby said,
November 27, 2007 at 1:45
Effing Hitler, dammit!
Ann Althouse said,
November 27, 2007 at 1:46
I, Ann Althouse, Arbiter of Feminism and The Internets, COMMAND YOU>>>
Fozzetti said,
November 27, 2007 at 1:51
I kind of like the Governator.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
November 27, 2007 at 1:51
I liked Substance McGravitas and Jerry Fnord, meself.
Kathleen said,
November 27, 2007 at 1:52
we need to combine all of these ideas, for a SN thread where everyone switches to a new name, posts only as Seb, says all sorts of cranky things, and defer to others’ prior positions, and we can deduce the name stealer like Clue.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
November 27, 2007 at 1:56
who will Bush pick as VP?
Jeff Gannon.
Smut Clyde said,
November 27, 2007 at 1:58
All the posts that day could be about really cranky stuff and everybody could fight it out without deference to prior opinions.
Sounds too much like real life.
Simba B. said,
November 27, 2007 at 1:58
t4toby—
Your typo leads to a classic Monty Python sketch.
Righteous Bubba said,
November 27, 2007 at 2:00
God, there’s still a lot there that makes me laugh.
http://www.sadlyno.com/archives/4849.html
Kathleen said,
November 27, 2007 at 2:04
Indeed, RB. It is also kind of cool to stumble over HTML Mencken buried among all the suggestions.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
November 27, 2007 at 2:09
Seems HTML Mencken was Gavin’s suggestion. And kudos to RB for Substance McGravitas.
Snorghagen said,
November 27, 2007 at 2:10
That could be disorienting for those of us on hallucinogens.
t4toby said,
November 27, 2007 at 2:13
You too, dude?
The Real MzNicky said,
November 27, 2007 at 2:16
We could alternate between “Seb” and “Ann Althouse.” To break up the monotony. I like the cranky part too.
The MzNicky said,
November 27, 2007 at 2:16
Oh fer crissakes.
MzNicky said,
November 27, 2007 at 2:16
DAMMIT!! Confangled InterNetsTubes
t4toby said,
November 27, 2007 at 2:19
Word, Simba.
I loves me some Python!
Anne Althaus™³²®© said,
November 27, 2007 at 2:20
It seems my name is being stolen on another blog which I, Anne Althaus™³²®©, will not deign to mention.
Smiling Mortician said,
November 27, 2007 at 2:24
Currently larfing out loud over Gavin’s suggestion of Abe Igpu.
[goes back to "What's my name?" thread, humming idiotically]
D. Sidhe said,
November 27, 2007 at 2:27
Isn’t someone already using Gerald Fnord? I would swear I run across that at Digby’s place or something….
Righteous Bubba said,
November 27, 2007 at 2:29
I would swear I run across that at Digby’s place or something….
It’s definitely shown up here.
Patkin said,
November 27, 2007 at 2:30
It’d be like Guess Who? or To Tell the Truth! Only textual.
“Is it someone who has herpes?”
“Is it?”
Anne Althaus™³²®© said,
November 27, 2007 at 2:34
Gerald Fnord.
This person seems to use the name on occasion, D. Sidhe. Maybe we should demand to see his papers?
Substance McGravitas said,
November 27, 2007 at 2:47
I am the best
Kathleen said,
November 27, 2007 at 2:49
Abe Igpu
I had to say this out loud several times before I got it. I also kept saying it wrong. perhaps this thread is getting to me.
MzNicky said,
November 27, 2007 at 2:53
Abe Igpu? Now that’s just disgusting. And juvenile. I like it.
billy pilgrim said,
November 27, 2007 at 2:57
Wow. 170 comments and no trolls?
All it takes is Chuck Norris.
Too bad he’s not funny anymore.
J— said,
November 27, 2007 at 3:02
Unfogged ran an experiment two weeks ago in which regulars were asked to post using new, nondescript screen names for one day. They called it Single Blind Day.
Garry Rupert said,
November 27, 2007 at 3:03
Sadly, liberal atheist blog commenters don’t even know when they’re being trolled. Real Americans from the Heartland, like Hoosiers, are more observant.
Smut Clyde said,
November 27, 2007 at 3:18
Unfogged ran an experiment two weeks ago in which regulars were asked to post using new, nondescript screen names for one day.
So it is not enough to be stuck with a limited vocabulary and a small number of stereotyped sentence structures, and to dwell obsessively in one’s comments on the same preoccupations all the time. You and Kathleen also want the rest of the Sadly,Nocracy to show us how predictable we are by identifying us from anonymous comments.
Bah.
J— said,
November 27, 2007 at 3:25
The only thing I really want is for regular commenters who decide to switch screen names to let everyone else know about it. I brought up the Unfogged experiment because I thought people would be interested.
(Lex) Skink Tyree (Azagthoth) said,
November 27, 2007 at 3:42
J–I’ll always keep my name in it somewhere, the Lex part. I just add on.
Re: Cheney heart surgery, is this proof that he actually has one to operate on? I was WAY off. Count me guilty of libel folks, I just didn’t think he had anything beating in there, however “irregular”. Mea culpa.
pedestrian said,
November 27, 2007 at 4:28
I used to be other people, before I was now. I always grow to hate myself though.
Best thing about intert00bz: Every day is a new boy!
Worst thing about intert00bz: No one sees how pretty I am.
Anne Althaus™³²®© said,
November 27, 2007 at 4:30
J–, I hope the ™³²®© suffices. Or else, my geocities nottablogsite.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
November 27, 2007 at 4:32
(Lex) Skink Tyree (Azagthoth) said,
Re: Cheney heart surgery, is this proof that he actually has one to operate on? I was WAY off. Count me guilty of libel folks, I just didn’t think he had anything beating in there, however “irregular”. Mea culpa.
It’s a scam. Everyone knows that Cheney ain’t got no steenkin’ heart.
He shot an old man in the face, just to watch him die.
moondancer said,
November 27, 2007 at 4:36
MzNicky-
Enough. I don’t ever post under someone else’s name.
Gore? yah he did well. I respect anyone that overcomes being born into landed gentry. I even voted for him three times.
As for my stereotype problem. well I’m from Missouri separated from those folks I’m poking fun at by an invisible geo-politcal dotted line. Lobbing insults over the Ozark peaks at them is recreation and has been for Missourians for generations. If that seems elitist, its because you’re from Tennessee. LOL
Saul said,
November 27, 2007 at 4:53
Shalom gentlemen.
Saul said,
November 27, 2007 at 4:59
All true Patriotic Americans respect and admire people like Chuck Norris and Ric Flair (who is an excellent wrestler by the way) and their endorsement of Mike Huckabee definately carries weight in my eyes. You left-wing wackos love anti-American hollywood celelbrities like sean penn and george clooneytoons while you despise true Patriotic American actors like Chuck Norris and Ric Flair. You liberals are just lucky Joesph McCarthy isn’t around anymore, if he was you would all be thrown in prison as the communist sympthizers that you are.
Smut Clyde said,
November 27, 2007 at 5:11
Here’s that graphical invitation of a pine-cone; trolls; for fucking themselves with.
I suspect that the Maenad is in league with the alligators.
mikey said,
November 27, 2007 at 5:17
I’m amusing myself tonight by laughing like “The Penguin” from the old Batman TV series.
Hanh. Hanh. Hanh.
(You have to play the original sound in your head here)
It’s crackin me up….
mikey
Saul said,
November 27, 2007 at 5:22
I for one would love to see Chuck Norris deployed along the Southern Border, the Mexicans would all be running back across the Rio Grande in terror of the Texas Ranger! And they won’t come back because they will all know that the eye of the Ranger is upon them!
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
November 27, 2007 at 5:23
Saul we are saying, is give peas a chance.
(And don’t forget yur carrots, they’re good for you younun’s.)
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
November 27, 2007 at 5:24
Ahem. Young’uns.
Saul said,
November 27, 2007 at 5:28
John Lennon was a commie wimp.
Righteous Bubba said,
November 27, 2007 at 5:29
I’m amusing myself tonight by laughing like “The Penguin” from the old Batman TV series.
Useful both to amuse and to irritate.
mikey said,
November 27, 2007 at 5:33
Useful both to amuse and to irritate.
I REALLY wish somebody would come by about now. I’d feed ‘em.
‘Course, I’d also keep laughing like “The Penguin”…
Hanh, Hanh, Hanh….
Need a goddam umbrella….
mikey
Saul said,
November 27, 2007 at 5:33
Even better!
Chuck Norris, Ric Flair and the Ultimate Warrior deployed along the Southern Border. They would definately lay the Smack Down on them Mexican imperialist invaders. Them Mexicans would be running back home to mommy in their sumbreros while she scolds them for goin off a galavanting instead of a pickin beans in the garden.
If Mike Huckabee promised that one he would definately get my vote.
Righteous Bubba said,
November 27, 2007 at 5:35
I’ve just burned me a copy of Miller’s Crossing. What a terrific movie.
g said,
November 27, 2007 at 5:35
I for one would love to see Chuck Norris deployed along the Southern Border, the Mexicans would all be running back across the Rio Grande in terror of the Texas Ranger!
Actually, Saul, if we were to deploy Chuck Norris – a Hollywood actor – at the Southern Border, he would probably request a private suite at the best hotel in El Paso, a chauffeur-driven Suburban, his personal assistant AND hairdresser present throughout the deployment, and his favorite caterer doing the Crafts Services table.
Additionally, he would need someone to run his lines with him, and he’d have to have first approval for wardrobe.
Saul – see, here’s your problem. You can’t tell the difference between a Hollywood actor and an actual law enforcement officer. Kind of like you can’t tell the difference between the ne’er-do-well son of a politician promoted above his ability, and a real leader.
g said,
November 27, 2007 at 5:39
Saul, did you know that Chuck Norris’s given name is Carlos?
Saul said,
November 27, 2007 at 5:41
g, did you know Chuck Norris is an eighth degree black-belt and a Conservative who along with Ric Flair and The Ultimate Warrior would lay the Smack Down on those Mexican invaders?
mikey said,
November 27, 2007 at 5:45
If I travel back in time and kill moses with the jawbone of an ass, can we please move on?
‘Cause I’ll do it….
mikey
MzNicky said,
November 27, 2007 at 5:49
mikey: You-know-who is certainly annoying, but I don’t think doing him bodily harm in order to obtain his jawbone is appropriate! Haw-haw!
John O said,
November 27, 2007 at 5:49
I don’t understand all this fake name stuff.
I think it is weird and cowardly and semi-criminal.
That being said, we ARE doomed as a country, and Huckabee is just one of a trillion examples.
I’m glad I’ll get to watch it from the downslope of life. But it will still make me sad.
Saul said,
November 27, 2007 at 5:50
So what if Chuck Norris’ given name is Carlos?
g, are you saying that just because someone is of hispanic heritage that they can’t be Conservative and want to secure our Southern Border?
J— said,
November 27, 2007 at 5:52
Ha! He’s no longer Chuck for me. It’s Carlos from now on.
Carlos and his wife Gena are on the board of directors of the National Council on Bible Curriculum in Public Schools. Video included!
Simba B said,
November 27, 2007 at 5:54
Who said he was of Hispanic heritage?
Way to capitalize Hispanic but not conservative there, Saul.
Saul said,
November 27, 2007 at 5:54
Chuck Norris is right about the theory of evolution. That fact is its only a theory and a disproven one at that.
J— said,
November 27, 2007 at 5:55
Video #2 of Carlos and Gena.
John O said,
November 27, 2007 at 5:56
Chuck Norris did the ad so that people remembered he was once famous.
Also, because he has the mind of Jr. high school student.
Why Huckabee thought this was a good idea is still a mystery to me. I think it may come back to bite him in the general, after the smokey back room brokered convention, since every conservative thinks all their potential nominees are Seriously Flawed.
None Of The Above would win, if he/not-she was on the GOP ballot.
John O said,
November 27, 2007 at 5:59
Where would today’s GOP be without their racist, homophobic, xenophobic, uneducated base?
Rhetorical question, for sure. Answer: 25%.
God, please save these people. Bring us the REAL rapture, where all decent humans will be raised into a heaven of drugs, sex, rock ‘n roll, tolerance, humanity, and decency.
Saul said,
November 27, 2007 at 6:00
Ah, another trade mark of liberals, accuse Conservatives of having low intelligence because you disagree with them just like John said about Chuck Norris.
Real mature of you there John boy.
John O said,
November 27, 2007 at 6:00
And the rest can just go blow themselves, like one helluva a lot of GOP politicians seem to wish they could do.
(Lex) Skink Tyree (Azagthoth) said,
November 27, 2007 at 6:01
Cripes. I finally got a commenter as well who disagreed with my assessment that Pat Buchanan is getting a bit too much on the “hey, it’s those Spics” side of the line. What the hell do people expect when really conservative white people start running around saying shit like what he’s spewing? It makes me think the fucking Klan is headed my way! I know why they say it and why they’re freaking out, but it’s not like I can look in the mirror and snap my fingers and turn blonde, OK?
First I have to get some medical references from Michael and Janet and various other Jacksons, then…..
Saul said,
November 27, 2007 at 6:03
The fact is, you liberals love to demonize anyone who doesn’t agree with you as evidenced by John boy calling the Republican base stupid, racist and sexist. You would have made one heck of a Stalinist John boy he used those tactics against his opponents as well.
John O said,
November 27, 2007 at 6:04
Saul, you’re too stupid to engage, having read your (WTF?) posts here for a few weeks now.
Conservatives do have low intelligence, as a voting bloc. Oh, sure, you’ve got your smart ones here and there, who actually believe in fiscal responsbility, a modest foreign policy, and above all, “getting the government off of people’s back’s.”
They just can’t walk the talk, which is why Ron Paul is among the best funded candidates on the retarded side.
I’m done with you. And I’m done with whichever fake/real/Gary HE is, too. Morons, all of you.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
November 27, 2007 at 6:06
Lex, don’t sweat it. That’s just the Grand Ole Pevert party, burning their future on a cross of bigotry.
Is it really a surprise?
John O said,
November 27, 2007 at 6:07
A caveat.
It didn’t use to be this way. There was once a good defense of conservative principle. But now it is all down to hate and fear and intolerance and anti-Jesus bullshit.
Welcome to the 1968 Democratic party, retards.
Saul said,
November 27, 2007 at 6:07
Another left-wing trait commited this time by Lex the Stink Tree, accusing White Americans who want to secure our borders and deport illegal alien invaders of being racists. Next the left will accuse people who want to put child molesters to death of being “un-enlightened.”
John O said,
November 27, 2007 at 6:10
I guess no non-white Americans want to secure the borders.
This is what I’m talking about when I use the words, “stupid,” “xenophobic,” and “moron.”
Saul said,
November 27, 2007 at 6:10
The fact is, defending and promoting Traditional American Values is standing up for Conservative Principles.
John O said,
November 27, 2007 at 6:10
I rest my case.
Saul said,
November 27, 2007 at 6:12
I didn’t say no non-white people wanted to secure our borders, I was merely commenting on Lex’s bigoted and slanderous comment about Pat Buchanan being a “white racist”.
Saul said,
November 27, 2007 at 6:14
I assume Lex considers Pat Buchanan a “racist” because he wants to secure our borders and enforce the law against people who shouldn’t be in this Country to begin with.
John O said,
November 27, 2007 at 6:15
*lalalalalallalallalalallaallalalallalalal*
Saul, go suck some dicks, bend over and spread ‘em, or whatever it is that conservatives do for secret fun.
Not that there’s anything wrong with that. You just shouldn’t decry it while you’re at it.
John O said,
November 27, 2007 at 6:17
Just for the record, I don’t consider Pat Buchanan a racist. But he’s a xenophobe of the highest order. (Look it up, morons.)
And Pat has thought the Great War in Iraq has been stupid from the start.
Pat is a principled conservative. I disagree with him about virtually everything, but I believe he believes most of what he says.
Teh Penguin said,
November 27, 2007 at 6:19
Hanh, Hanh, Hanh, Hanh…
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
November 27, 2007 at 6:20
Pat Buchanan went to my high school. Our football field is named Buchanan Field (after his dad).
Pat Buchanan is white. And he is a racist.
Any questions?
Snorghagen said,
November 27, 2007 at 6:21
The whacko base is the 25%. They’re pretty much all that’s left. The Republicans’ southern strategy – which seemed like such a good idea forty years ago – is finally catching up with them.
Ahhh. I like Gary. I even like the fake Garys if they’re not too blatantly satirical. They just show up, spew out enough gibberish to make fun of, and leave. They’re ideal for this place.
I agree with you that Saul/Booger/(Kevin?) is worthless… but on my computer, all he does is reaffirm his love of pie.
Saul said,
November 27, 2007 at 6:21
I don’t do that for fun! I do it for research purposes!
Saul said,
November 27, 2007 at 6:22
Why do you consider Pat Buchanan a xenophobe?
Because he wants to secure our borders and ENFORCE THE LAW, THE PENALTY FOR BREAKING INTO THIS COUNTRY ILLEGALLY IS DEPORTATION PEOPLE! WHY DOESN’T THE LEFT SEEM TO UNDERSTAND THAT!!!
Maybe the left is too stupid to engage on this subject! Maybe the left is to stupid to realize that these illegal aliens DON’T BELONG HERE!!!
WHAT IS IT ABOUT THE WORD ILLEGAL THAT YOU MORONS DON’T SEEM TO GET!!!
John O said,
November 27, 2007 at 6:23
LOL, Snorghagen.
I just can’t respect anyone who uses a fake name that someone else has already claimed as their fake name.
g said,
November 27, 2007 at 6:23
did you know Chuck Norris is an eighth degree black-belt and a Conservative who along with Ric Flair and The Ultimate Warrior would lay the Smack Down on those Mexican invaders?
Actually, I did know he’s a black belt, but the training one gets in organized martial arts does not necessarily qualify a person for a law enforcement job.
Particularly in a rough environment. Gyms do not equal deserts.
Chuck Norris is right about the theory of evolution.
Carlos Norris is your scientific authority? ’nuff said. (snicker)
John O said,
November 27, 2007 at 6:25
If only the GOP wing of Corporate America would stop hiring all these filthy terrorist wannabes…ahh, what do I know.
Most people I know just want to make their lives better.
Some Guy said,
November 27, 2007 at 6:26
Because no one gives a shit about illegal immigration from Canada, Saul.
John O said,
November 27, 2007 at 6:27
Even Mexcans.
John O said,
November 27, 2007 at 6:29
Jesus, I CLEARLY haven’t read back far enough in this thread.
“Chuck Norris is right about the theory of evolution.”???????!!!!!!!!!!
Well, there then! I mean, who would know better than Chuck Norris?
Comedy gold.
Teh Penguin said,
November 27, 2007 at 6:29
did you know Chuck Norris is an eighth degree black-belt
Hanh, Hanh, Hanh.
I’m an Expert Marksman.
A three weapons master.
And an instructor in the tactical handgun.
How much do you think Chuck wants to piss me off?
Hanh, Hanh, Hanh…
mikey
Saul said,
November 27, 2007 at 6:29
All illegal aliens whether from Mexico, Canada or Timbucktoo must be deported because thats the law!
(Lex) Skink Tyree (Azagthoth) said,
November 27, 2007 at 6:31
Wow Saul, the Spic Chick feels a bit nervous when Buchanan makes some rather pointed statements and you then attack her? Jeez, I left “wingnuttia” for a reason. OK, 2 reasons. I’m pretty liberal and I was getting scared of just how anti-non-whites everyone is getting lately.
Speaking of, they’re going SO nuts over there now that they are accusing everyone of being a racist. It’s so funny I’ve been ROFL again for real. ZING!!
g said,
November 27, 2007 at 6:31
ENFORCE THE LAW, THE PENALTY FOR BREAKING INTO THIS COUNTRY ILLEGALLY IS DEPORTATION PEOPLE!
You know, I’m really really curious about this. What does the law actually say, Saul?
What law, exactly, is a person breaking by being present on US soil without a valid visa or paperwork? What exactly IS a valid visa, anyway? Saul, can you cite a law?
I believe that there is a law against someone being employed in the US without possessing either a) US citizenship or b) a green card or c) a working visa, but what if a person isn’t working? Is that illegal?
And if a non-citizen without these qualifications works and earns income, who is breaking the law – the human being, or the person who employs him?
It’s legal for a non-citizen to enter US soil as a student, or as a tourist. Those types of visas put conditions upon employment and the earning of income. What exactly does it say, Saul?
I’ve heard people complain about foreigners with bank accounts, but again, I would like to hear the actual law cited. If Princess Caroline decided to open a bank account in the US, what would prevent her from doing so and depositing her European-earned money in the account? Could I open a bank account in England and deposit my American-earned money there?
C’mon Saul, you seem to know so much about it. What if Princess Caroline drove her Mercedes convertible over the Mexican border at Nogales so she could go spend a week or so at an ashram in Malibu – is she an illegal alien? Is Carlos Norris going to kick her ass?
g said,
November 27, 2007 at 6:32
because thats the law!
Cite the law, my little rabbi friend. Cite it or shut the fuck up.
John O said,
November 27, 2007 at 6:37
g, that was very funny.
And no, Saul cannot site the law without some very quick and perceptive (since it’s lawyer-speak, and all ol’ Saul knows is moron-speak) analysis on teh Google, which Saul is probably afraid of, since he hangs out at Conservapedia for his information.
And, of course, Conservapedia visitors not being homo-interested or anything.
(Lex) Skink Tyree (Azagthoth) said,
November 27, 2007 at 6:39
John O–I’m inclined to agree with you, I don’t think Pat’s an outright racist really, he’s just starting to freak out again and sometimes he can be very insightful, but not usually when he’s freaking out. I generally think the same, he’s intelligent and he really does believe in what he’s saying, whether I agree or not, but when he gets too worked up it just gets messy.
Actually, I really just thought that the way Drudge reported on his new book was really funny, so I played it up. I don’t think that Pat is going to come after me for being a bit on the brown side, but I do think that plenty of freaks out here offline in Flyover start picking up on cues and thinking that certain things are now official dogma just because people like Buchanan wrote a book that they won’t really bother to read. That part scares me.
Saul said,
November 27, 2007 at 6:39
I believe you just answered your own question g. Any foreigner who wants to enter this Country must have valid identification meaning a passport stating their Country of origin and a visa. They must get in line at the American Embassy in their own Country and wait just like everyone else does. I do not want to waste my hard earned tax dollars on some stupid illiterate dope addict who crosses the border illegally hoping to collect a welfare check and pump out babies so they will become citizens. No Hard-working Patriotic American would want these people leeching off American society reaping the benefits without having sowed.
objectivelypro said,
November 27, 2007 at 6:41
but it’s not like I can look in the mirror and snap my fingers and turn blonde, OK?
Skink, you could try becoming a Mormon.
John O said,
November 27, 2007 at 6:42
Lex, he’s smart and a good historian and a complete xenophobe Irish-Catholic un-self-aware moron about most things.
Don’t worry, most of the people who like him can’t read. Sure, he’ll make his case, but Good will win in the end.
Too bad I’ll be dead.
objectivelypro said,
November 27, 2007 at 6:45
I just can’t respect anyone who uses a fake name that someone else has already claimed as their fake name.
It’s all part of the rough-and-tumble of comedy, John.
g said,
November 27, 2007 at 6:46
Any foreigner who wants to enter this Country must have valid identification meaning a passport stating their Country of origin and a visa.
Most so-called “undocumented workers” do so. They just overstay their visas.
They must get in line at the American Embassy in their own Country and wait just like everyone else does.
Ah, but it’s not “just like everyone else does.” It’s a lot different if you are coming for a 2-week vacation, or if you’re coming for a semester at Georgia Tech. It’s a lot different depending what country you’re coming from. It’s a lot different if you’re coming here to work, or to study, or to go to Disneyland.
I do not want to waste my hard earned tax dollars on some stupid illiterate dope addict who crosses the border illegally hoping to collect a welfare check and pump out babies so they will become citizens
How about some literate non-addict who overstays his tourist visa hoping to invest in real estate, or establish an import-export business, or become owner of a night club in the San Fernando Valley and marry an American girl and pump out babies so they will become citizens. One from – perhaps – Israel, for example?
Some Guy said,
November 27, 2007 at 6:47
Riiiight,. which is why so many people are clamoring to build a wall on the Canadian boarder, right?
“I do not want to waste my hard earned tax dollars on some stupid illiterate dope addict who crosses the border illegally hoping to collect a welfare check and pump out babies so they will become citizens. No Hard-working Patriotic American would want these people leeching off American society reaping the benefits without having sowed.”
But he’s not racist.
And, as we all know, immigrants are immune to things like sales and property tax, and the lack of income tax on their six figure jobs REALLY adds up fast.
g said,
November 27, 2007 at 6:48
Saul, cite the law.
John O said,
November 27, 2007 at 6:49
g, you’re firing bullets against an unarmed moron.
That is not WJWD.
The reason I know Saul isn’t a Rabbi is because Rabbi’s are highly educated, and Jews have gotten the short end of the xenophobe stick for too long to buy Saul’s taunting.
I will admit that Saul could be that special kind of Rabbi: The stupid, xenophobic, racist kind.
Saul said,
November 27, 2007 at 6:53
It doesn’t matter whether they crossed the border illegally or overstayed their visa. The purpose of a visa is to know whos in this Country from where and what their business is whether its vacation, work or schooling all of which require a visa. The fact is, if you are a foreigner in this Country without a visa then you shouldn’t be here because you are illegal! A visa is usually good for ninety-days, if you want to stay here longer than get it renewed. If you your visa expires and you don’t get it renewed then sorry the law is the law. Since 9/11 all foreigners no matter what Country whether friend or foe need a visa to be here as well they should.
objectivelypro said,
November 27, 2007 at 6:53
Messed up the link. Sorry.
becoming a Mormon
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
November 27, 2007 at 6:54
I will admit that Saul could be that special kind of Rabbi: The stupid, xenophobic, racist kind.
You have much to learn, young jedi.
Saul is to rabbi as annieangel is to christian.
Aka, not.
Teh Penguin said,
November 27, 2007 at 6:55
I do not want to waste my hard earned tax dollars on some stupid illiterate dope addict who crosses the border illegally hoping to collect a welfare check and pump out babies so they will become citizens
Hey, Gavin, Travis, Bradrocket, Seb?
How the fuck is that not hate speech?
Do us ALL a favor.
Blogistan will forgive you.
mikey
Some Guy said,
November 27, 2007 at 6:56
Dude, I know Saul isn’t a rabbi because Jews don’t run around saying “shalom” unless it’s Seder or a Bar Mitzvah.
G, I want Saul to cite the law AND come up with a comprehensive, feasible, and cost-sensible plan with which to round up, process, and deport 4% of the entire population. Bare in mind that the US penile systems (which hold 1%, or 3 million people) are already over crowded (thanks, war on drugs!) and cannot be used.
Saul said,
November 27, 2007 at 6:56
I don’t know the exact law I am not a lawer, Ann Coulter is however why don’t you ask her? I do know however as do most Americans except for liberals that the penalty for being here illegally is deportation.
tigrismus said,
November 27, 2007 at 6:57
Man, I personally think Gary is hilarious, but some of these downmarket, tin-plate noob trolls kind of bite.
John O said,
November 27, 2007 at 7:01
Thanks, iftthethunder.
I didn’t think the holier-than-thou Saul would ever LIE.
But of course, he probably likes Bush.
Except on immigration.
g said,
November 27, 2007 at 7:02
Rabbis know the law before they cite it. Saul doesn’t know what he’s talking about.
Telling me to “ask Ann Coulter” is a cop out. If you want her to speak for you, then you should just shut the fuck up here and let her come here instead.
I do know however as do most Americans except for liberals that the penalty for being here illegally is deportation
How do you know this? Cite the law. Are there alternate penalties that might apply?
Come on, Saul; you say you’re the expert. Show your stuff.
Or shut the fuck up.
Some Guy said,
November 27, 2007 at 7:03
Feeding trolls is bad, but this is just such wonderful play time! It’s got that bizarre, surrealist quality to it, like listening to 8 year olds play Super Hero and argue about why I’m NOT dead, just because ytou shoot me a million times and drop a million ton weight on me.
“Since 9/11 all foreigners no matter what Country whether friend or foe need a visa to be here as well they should.”
Gods. “Since 9/11, all foreigners, no matter what country, whether friend or foe, need a visa to be here; as well they should.”
Okay, now at least the run on sentence is somewhat grammatically correct.
So, then, you have no problem with a sizable tax increase to pay for the explosion of federal employees and paper work that would be required to actually enforce that law?
g said,
November 27, 2007 at 7:06
Saul actually doesn’t know what he’s talking about; he lets Ann Coulter do the talking for him.
Of course, every time she gets called on her shit, she defends herself by saying “Hey ! I’m just a satirist!”
So – there you have it. Saul’s an apologist for a satirist.
John O said,
November 27, 2007 at 7:08
I hate myself for feeding trolls. But, in my defense, it does have a certain plane-crash can’t-take-your-eyes-off-it appeal.
Ann, “I’m Not Sure Where I’m Registered To Vote” Coulter? She’s your legal reference?
It IS comedy gold.
Saul said,
November 27, 2007 at 7:09
In order to get rid of and halt the illegal alien problem on our Southern Border this Country must.
1. Secure our southern border using the National Guard (I propose that the entire force of both the Army and Air National Guard units from the four border states of Texas, New Mexico, Arizona and California be used for that sole purpose of securing our border with Mexico.), a beefed up border patrol, ariel drones, and a fence physical and sensory.
2. Crack down on all employers who hire illegal aliens by giving a mandatory 10 year prison sentence to any employer who knowingly hires an illegal alien. The majority of illegal aliens will self deport if they can’t find work. That would be roughly 98%.
3. Deny illegal aliens already in this Country all services including work, housing, food, and emergency medical services than even more will self deport.
4. Deny Federal aid to any State or Locality who refuses to cooperate with the Federal govt. regarding immigration enforcement.
5. And finally the few hundred thousand illegal aliens who still remain for whatever reason (probably criminal) must be rounded up by ICE and deported. It will be extremly easy given that most would have already self deported. ( In the 1950s President Eisenhower deported 80,000 illegal aliens in one year! So it can be done.).
That my liberal friends is my 5 step immigration enforcement plan.
objectivelypro said,
November 27, 2007 at 7:09
How the fuck is that not hate speech?
Even without the hate speech. Compulsive, repetitive antagonism should be grounds enough. Saul/Kevin/Booger is playing S/N for chumps.
Bruce had it right.
g said,
November 27, 2007 at 7:11
And another laugh-riot funny thing about Saul, the so-called Jewish rabbi (you know, people who are supposed to understand The Law) – he allows a lapsed-Episcopalian who wants to “perfect Jews” speak for him.
What is it, Saul, is it that you just can’t resist a skank in a black cocktail dress?
John O said,
November 27, 2007 at 7:13
But not those from the north of the border.
Jesus, try to be more of a racist xenophobe nitwit of epic and hilariously public proportions.
g said,
November 27, 2007 at 7:14
3. Deny illegal aliens already in this Country all services including work, housing, food, and emergency medical services than even more will self deport.
You know what would be really cool? Make it so that the magic of Saul’s rabbinical powers make it so our state and federal highways disintegrate beneath their wheels as the asphalt detects the absence of a properly stamped visa!!!!
Saul said,
November 27, 2007 at 7:15
I’ll be back in a little bit I have to use the bathroom.
Shalom!
g said,
November 27, 2007 at 7:15
Ariel drones
John O said,
November 27, 2007 at 7:19
Saul must have to drop some major-league deuces. This is at least the second time I’ve seen him duck out with that excuse.
Saul, there are meds for that.
Some Guy said,
November 27, 2007 at 7:23
And we’re following the white rabbit, and we’re walking, we’re walking, we’re walking….
1: Yeah. They’re not busy doing anything else. Especially Nation Guard units, who are basically designed for pro-longed deployment.
2: The employer? Who’s that? The CEO? The HR Manager? The District Manager? The General Manager? Who gets put in jail?
“Manadory Minimums” = “I do not know anything about law or criminology, but I feel the need to appear tough and serious.”
Hey, did you know that 53% of all statistics are made up? It’s true!
3: Well, that CERTAINLY sounds comprehensive, well thought-out, easily enforceable, and is in no way a disgraceful human rights violation that would put the final nail in the already badly damaged reputation of the United States in the eyes of the world and history.
4: It’ll be fun when half the states in the Union declare bankruptcy. Think of all the money we’ll make selling them off to China!
5: 80,000 is close to 12,000,000 right? I mean, rounding up.
John O said,
November 27, 2007 at 7:24
Shorter Saul: So what if my IQ is 70?
When it comes to what you call your life, I’m a genius!
g said,
November 27, 2007 at 7:24
Oh, Saul’s talking about “Operation Wetback”.
that’s sure something to be proud of.
I’d need to take a crap after bringing that up, myself. It’d make my stomach turn.
Patkin said,
November 27, 2007 at 7:26
And if that doesn’t work, then we will transport the parasites ourselves, utilizing the trains we will build from all the money we refuse to give to states or local governments for not assisting the volk.
g said,
November 27, 2007 at 7:26
We may need to hire some illegal Mexkin or Chinee to lay the rails, though……
John O said,
November 27, 2007 at 7:27
Saul has IBS, no question. Whenever he gets his panties in a bind, he has to go take an unclean dump. The kind where no matter how much you wipe, it just isn’t good enough. The kind Mexcans have to live with.
He just doesn’t understand the correlation yet.
Nor will he ever.
(Lex) Skink Tyree (Azagthoth) said,
November 27, 2007 at 7:27
Ugh, Saul should go to Gates of fucking Vienna. Those people are hassling me enough, he may as well be with fellow loonies while he fights with me. I mean he wouldn’t get the attention from the rest of you guys, but he’d get plenty of attention and he’d actually fit in. I’m getting sleepy, I know they live for the blog and all, but after a while, I’m just going to have to say, “Fine, pick on me while I’m asleep”. Jeez. You guys were right. I kept coming here to defend a friend, only to see how far from reality I’d been dragged. Wingnuttia, play on. Without me.
g said,
November 27, 2007 at 7:35
Governor Tyree, I think I agree with you. I can’t wait for Saul to come back from his potty break. I may have to go off to sleep myself.
Given your alliances in the natural world, can you please negotiate with the squirrels in my basement to give me a fucking break?
Just asking.
Snorghagen said,
November 27, 2007 at 7:48
Mikey wrote:
Objectivelypro wrote:
Amen, brothers. I agree with the implied suggestion.
Gus said,
November 27, 2007 at 7:53
All you gotta do is ignore him, and he’ll slink back under his rock. Give it a shot, you’ll see.
John O said,
November 27, 2007 at 7:58
‘Tis true, Gus.
And that’s the “American” way to go, besides.
But I’m as guilty as anyone. He’s just too stupid to resist.
Plus he has a problem with his colon.
Comedy gold.
I pledge to ignore him if everyone else takes the same pledge.
g said,
November 27, 2007 at 7:59
Governor Tyree, I’m calling it a night. If you want the squirrels, you’re going to have to come get them yourself.
slippytoad said,
November 27, 2007 at 8:00
You know, Chuck has really made himself look like a jackass . . . he’s utterly not the person I turn to for advice about things like politics, but now by sticking his phiz into the picture he’s dragged both himself and his chosen candidate down.
What a dork.
(Lex) Skink Tyree (Azagthoth) said,
November 27, 2007 at 8:06
g–well, I’m all full up on some fresh kills from the road, but I’ll take some squirrel if you got em. Let me get a new kilt first;)
Oh, and you best call me Captain. Wow, I just know you are not the image of Betty Ford that I am hallucinating you to be right now, but this conversation is the most stimulating of my evening. Tell me, what do you read?
FUCKING SKINK!!!!! YES!!!!
Snorghagen said,
November 27, 2007 at 8:08
That’s true, but it just ain’t happening.
Smut Clyde said,
November 27, 2007 at 8:14
Some Guy said
Bare in mind that the US penile systems… are already over crowded (thanks, war on drugs!) and cannot be used.
Thereby causing Mark Steyn to worry that the white races are not breeding fast enough.
g said,
November 27, 2007 at 8:23
Captain – If I may – although I admire Betty Ford, I do not share her taste in hairdos, although I suspect I may share her taste in cocktails.
Tell me, what do you read?
I am quite fond of Mr. Hiaasen, but I have to say, I actually prefer James Hall and Mr. MacDonald to him when it comes to Florida fiction.
Although a Pacific Northwesterner by preference, I am currently a Los Angeleno. But I am quite familiar with the Gulf Coast of Florida, having married into a family that lives on a tannin-steeped fishing lake north of Tampa.
I am on the eve of my something3rd birthday, however. For what that’s worth!
Hoosier X said,
November 27, 2007 at 8:29
I miss Bruce.
Snorghagen said,
November 27, 2007 at 8:30
G wrote:
What other mystery writers do you like?
Smut Clyde said,
November 27, 2007 at 8:34
The fact is, if you are a foreigner in this Country without a visa then you shouldn’t be here because you are illegal!
Purely out of disinterested pedantry, I give you:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Visa_Waiver_Program
g said,
November 27, 2007 at 8:36
Well, Mr. Chandler is very good; as is Mr. Ross MacDonald, being as how I’m in LA, it’s always good to read the masters.
also good in LA is Denise Hamilton and Barbara Seranella, and John – what the fuck is his name – Shannon?
I used to love Robert K. Tanenbaum until I found out that all the books of his I loved were written by a ghost-writer – he broke with his ghost and his new books suck.
I like Dennis Lehane; Robert Parker (although he sometimes gets a little too fucking precious).
I’m not much of a one for Brits, but I just got done reading Kate Atkinson’s “Case Histories” which was fantastic.
I tend to like the hardboiled variety, as opposed to the “murdered by the exotic plant in the conservatory” variety. And I really don’t like the “spunky female sleuth” ones, either.
g said,
November 27, 2007 at 8:41
G’night , y’all. When I see you again I will be Something3.
Saul said,
November 27, 2007 at 9:00
Shalom gentlemen.
How did you like my 5 step plan to deal with illegal immigration?
Do you agree, or disagree with my 5 step plan?
Saul said,
November 27, 2007 at 9:06
I should also add that Congress should pass a Constitutional Amendment declaring English the Official National language of the United States. Bilingual ballots, signs, billboards, voice recordings and everything else should be banned, only English should be spoken in America ever.
Saul said,
November 27, 2007 at 9:08
As Newt Gingrich said, “Americans should speak the language of civilization not the language of the ghetto.”
Hoosier X said,
November 27, 2007 at 9:10
I really miss Bruce.
Hoosier X said,
November 27, 2007 at 9:13
I don’t think we should speak English. I think we should speak AMERICAN!
Anyone who disagrees wants the terrorists to win.
Some Guy said,
November 27, 2007 at 9:20
“Saul said,
As Newt Gingrich said, “Americans should speak the language of civilization not the language of the ghetto.” ”
That doesn’t even begin to make sense. Unless it’s one of your all’s coded racist speak about sand niggers and their filthy language, in which case you just insulted Spain, her colonies, and their thousands of years of rich cultural and civilized history.
Saul said,
November 27, 2007 at 9:26
It means that hispanic Americans should learn and speak English only not spanish. English fluency should be a requirement to anyone who wants to immigrate to America. I’m sick and tired of going to a store, or making a phone call to some business and the person barely speaks English! Either learn English or get the hell out!
Saul said,
November 27, 2007 at 9:35
Spain doesn’t have thousands of years of history. Spain wasn’t even united until thw 15th century. So that would be 600 years of rich cultural history.
Some Guy said,
November 27, 2007 at 9:41
Okay, so yeah, you and Newt just spit on Spain. But you’re not racist.
Dude, maybe you should try NOT going to stores with Spanish names, then?
And doesn’t this mean that you will have to speak only English when you go to Temple? Or have a Seder? Will Jewish comedians circa late 80′s have to be banned, because of a tendency to use Hebrew in their jokes and anecdotes? I’ll sure miss Coffee Talk! But this IS America, after all, so I guess they must be sent to the Great Freedom Bonfires.
Oh, but that’s different, right?
See, the funny thing is, I’ve actually worked with Latinos. I’ve yet to meet a single one who DOESN’T want to learn to speak English. The ones with children are usually opposed to the Spanish language being used in schools, because they want their children to be fluent in English. You refuse to learn another language, because it’s too hard and too much work for you, but people coming here to chop vegetables and wash plates for 10 hours a day should damn well be able to recite Gilbert and Sullivan.
And feel free to back up your claims by citing the exact Federal law making English the national language. I know you’re getting pissed and agitated because things like “facts” and “proof” aren’t on your side, but humor me.
Some Guy said,
November 27, 2007 at 9:45
“Saul said,
Spain doesn’t have thousands of years of history. Spain wasn’t even united until the 15th century. So that would be 600 years of rich cultural history.”
USA wasn’t united until 230 years ago. Spanish is one of the descendants of Latin, which is loosely associated with a little thing called the Roman Empire. A far cry from English, which is based mostly off Celtic and Germanic barbarian speak.
Saul said,
November 27, 2007 at 9:46
I didn’t say there was a law making English the Official language, thats the problem there isn’t one! Congress SHOULD pass a Constitutional Amendment declaring English the Official language of America. And yes speaking Hebrew at Synogogue is different, but you’re not Jewish so I wouldn’t expect you to understand that.
Saul said,
November 27, 2007 at 9:47
The Romans were far more civilized than the Mexicans, I see absolutely no comparison.
Teh Mutton Birds said,
November 27, 2007 at 9:50
Julius Caesar when he
Stepped onto the shore he
Didn’t do some rain dance he just
Said it plain, and he said:
“I came, I saw, and I conquered”
So don’t try to make me
Feel like a fool
I know what I stand for
And I know what they want
They just want to feel special
But they’re wrong, they’re wrong,
they’re wrong, they’re so wrong because
The Queen’s English was
Good enough for Jesus Christ
And it’s good enough for me
The Queen’s English was
Good enough for Jesus Christ
And it’s good enough for me,
It’s good enough for me
Some people want to
Go back to living in caves they
Bend over backwards and the
Thin end of the wedge goes in
All you little countries
All you towers of Babel
Well you better wake up, and speak up, and
earn your place on the team
And if you don’t know
Please and Thank you
Well you better learn, you better learn,
you better learn, you better learn, because
The Queen’s English was
Good enough for Jesus Christ
And it’s good enough for me
The Queen’s English was
Good enough for Jesus Christ
And it’s good enough for me
It’s good enough for me
[Buggrit, no Youtube video to be found]
Some Guy said,
November 27, 2007 at 9:50
“Saul said,
The Romans were far more civilized than the Mexicans, I see absolutely no comparison.”
You wouldn’t. But that’s okay, most xenophobes don’t recognize the Aztec, Olmec, or Mayan civilizations. I’m pretty sure Hitler didn’t.
Anyways, fun are you are to screw with, not unlike a baby seal in the playful, macabre clutches of a pod of Orcas, I’m gunna go watch Star Trek on the youtube.
Hoosier X said,
November 27, 2007 at 9:56
Bruce?
a different brad said,
November 27, 2007 at 10:21
I miss the old model Gary. Saul is so mediocre I haven’t even bothered to block him, cuz I don’t bother reading the threads he takes over.
Saul said,
November 27, 2007 at 11:04
The fact is, I notice looking up the thread that some of you libbocommmieloonbats are noticing that today I seem to have ditched my rabbi shtick and am instead being Slack-Jawed Dee-hyut White Goober Saul. So, um, shalom, go Israel, gefilte fish, etc etc.
kiki said,
November 27, 2007 at 11:21
Anyone else spot the irony in rabbi saul having a “five-step plan”? Does he have a “final solution” too?
That’s pretty good satire, if intentional.
My girlfriend used to be the ballerina in a punk band called Hitler and the Five-Steps.
Jillian said,
November 27, 2007 at 12:38
I know that “Saul” isn’t actually fooling anyone with his Jewish schtick. Still, I can’t resist pointing out that….
Jews don’t speak Hebrew in synagogue, other than reading from the Torah. Do Catholics speak Latin in church?
Jews don’t usually have good things to say about the Roman Empire.
CHOAD! said,
November 27, 2007 at 14:08
OMFG! Before I saw that clip, I thought maybe Huckabee had Chuck Norris do a sober run-down on how conservative policies would be of greatest benefit to the United States. Given Norris’ column at WND and his strong feelings about politics, it would make a certain amount of sense for him to appear in a political commercial.
But…butbutbut…I had no fucking idea the Huckster and his sidekick, Carlos, would be stupid enough to play up the Texas Ranger angle.
(Lex) Skink Tyree (Azagthoth) said,
November 27, 2007 at 15:35
Wow, I wasn’t even aware of other Florida fiction. I almost never read fiction, I am usually too busy with my nose in linguistics books being a nerd. I read Hiaasen’s Tourist Season when I was 14 and had just moved to Miami, then read Sick Puppy over the summer and discovered Skink (and Twilly Spree), and then my Mom told me that Skink was in most of his books, so I made off with just about all of them. Quick reads, and nice.
That’s when things really started going awry. I’ve been shooting footage for over a year of the destruction of my favorite field/open space in my MidWestern home which is being built on, and have shot plenty more for a documentary about excessive land development. Once I read Hiaasen and started butting heads with the first real-life conservatives I’d ever really been around in the flesh, I realized that I wasn’t one. And right on the heels of discovering Skink Tyree, no less.
So yes, my departure from wingnuttia has been a rather snarky, mocking one.
Oh, and just because I’m a linguistics geek, regarding the above comment about the English language, nope, almost no Celtic at all made it in. That’s one of the oddities, actually, of the complete and total rift between the Romano-Celtic Britons and the Germanic invaders during the 6th century. Only some Celtic place names Anglicized, but no mixing of people. Actually, modern genetic testing is bearing this out scientifically, which is REALLY interesting to me, but as I said, I’m a total nerd.
g said,
November 27, 2007 at 16:22
Good morning. I see Saul is back from taking a crap. Looks like he forgot to wipe, cause he’s trailing some ugly shit with him.
Gravord Excelsiamotin, MDS said,
November 27, 2007 at 17:22
mds, why do you want to tape bacon to me? What have I ever done to you?
Actually, googling for bacon cat still seems to provide the explanation. Liberation for your oppressed brethren from their bacon-wielding owners!
“Mike Huckabee could destroy the wall of separation between church and state with one head-butt.”
(Heh heh heh. “Head butt.”)
“There are no gays, just people Mike Huckabee hasn’t bludgeoned straight yet.”
kiki said,
November 27, 2007 at 19:03
This shouldn’t be surprising… after all, we are talking about people who think 24 is a documentary.
D-Chance. said,
November 27, 2007 at 19:43
Let’s not forget OPRAH~!~!~!~!~!~! is going to back Obama!
Aaaahhhhhh!!!!! Someone get me a tissue!
Somewhere, Barbra Streisand is off sulking, “the bitch is horning in on MY turf, dammit!”
But, yeah, only consrrrrrrvatives us dumb celebrity endorsements… yeah.
Hoosier X said,
November 27, 2007 at 20:08
Let’s see, Ronald Reagan was president, Fred Thompson is running for president, Arnold Schwarzenegger is governor …
How many votes did Sean Penn get when he ran for president?
I better see what Al Sharpton thinks, because, according to the so-called Liberal Media(TM), he speaks for “the Left” (whatever that means this week).
Legalize said,
November 27, 2007 at 20:36
Wait a minute. Saul said:
“Bilingual ballots, signs, billboards, voice recordings and everything else should be banned, only English should be spoken in America ever.”
But then also said:
“And yes speaking Hebrew at Synogogue is different, but you’re not Jewish so I wouldn’t expect you to understand that.”
I’m beginning to think that winger Saul isn’t being consistent in his conservatism. Not only that, it is difficult to reconcile these two statements without ariving at the conclusion that Saul, like his homo-obsessed winger buddies, aren’t arguing from a position of principle re this issue, but rather they are trying to disguise their abject stupidity and biggotry.
I’m sure there is a non-self-serving, explanation for this.
Saul's Shit said,
November 27, 2007 at 20:59
Here I am again.
dick the bruiser said,
November 27, 2007 at 20:59
saul,
gey cocken en afen yam.
actor212 said,
November 27, 2007 at 21:46
3. Deny illegal aliens already in this Country all services including work, housing, food, and emergency medical services than even more will self deport.
Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh, yea, by dying in our streets and making the citizenry sick…here’s a really sensible solution…
Duros62 said,
November 27, 2007 at 22:46
I’ll bet they do.
JABbering Stooge :: Stylin’ and Profilin’ in ‘08 :: November :: 2007 said,
November 28, 2007 at 0:06
[...] I know I recently praised GOP Presidential candidate Mike Huckabee for having more cultural acumen than the average politician – even if it was a backhanded compliment. But I have no words to describe his latest endorsement, from one “Nature Boy” Ric Flair. I’ll leave clever comment to the fine folks at Sadly, No! [...]
r78 said,
November 28, 2007 at 1:51
In case this hasn’t yet been posted – here’s a collection of Chuck Norris facts:
http://4q.cc/index.php?pid=top100&person=chuck