26
Pats Exposed! Bellicheat Chickens Out!
Bradrocket’s silly man-crushes are up just a field goal (more on this later) on the Eagles at the half. This despite Bradrocket bragging his Pats would easily cover the 24-point spread.
Meanwhile, nobody told the Iggles they were supposed to roll over and let the Patriots crush them. Nobody told J.R. Reed, No. 30 in your program and No. 666 in Wes Welker’s eardrums, that he was supposed to meekly allow the Pats’ traveling air show easy egress into the endzone.*
And getting back to that field goal that separates the teams at the half … what was that LOLpat Bradrocket so smugly posted? Oh, yes … “field goal on 4th down? DO NOT WANT” … and yet … and yet … and yet:
Second quarter … 14-14 … Pats on Eagles 5-yard-line … fourth down … Belicheat … wait for it … Belicheat KICKSKICKSKICKSKICKSKICKSDOESN’TGOFORITCAUSEHE’SSCARED ANDHEONLYGOESITFORITWHENHE’SUPCAUSEHE’SAHYPOCRITEANDAPOORSPORT!!!!1!!!
Prediction: Eagles 35, Pats 27
*Fuck, am I channeling Easterbrook, or what?
Bradrocket adds: Belicheat only goes for it on fourth down when he’s running up the score. Otherwise, he’ll take the three points. This is why he rules.
Adding, that if the Pats could very well lose this game. This is about as poor as I’ve seen them play in a long time. Yeah, that Moss offensive pass interference call was BS, but hell, they had three more downs to work with and came away with nada.
M. Bouffant said,
November 26, 2007 at 5:22
Sweet blood of Jesus, “liveblogging” (as awful & ugly a word as it is a concept) a hideous display of all-American violence?
Is there any shame, anywhere?
M. Bouffant said,
November 26, 2007 at 5:23
HA!! Second Amendment!!
D. Aristophanes said,
November 26, 2007 at 5:25
I, for one, am ashamed, MB. But vicarious thrills are still thrills, ya know.
Also, for the football fans in the audience … I love how the Eagles are showing the rest of the NFL how to match up with the Pats. Regardless of whether they can pull this one out, I’m pretty sure some team will beat them this year. They’re just not that much better than everybody else.
M. Bouffant said,
November 26, 2007 at 5:25
Oh, look, fourth (& GOAL!!!) the Pats go for a field goal, he hooks it!! No good.
InsaneInTheCheneyBrain said,
November 26, 2007 at 5:25
One thing that’s good about America’s demise is that football might no longer exist.
M. Bouffant said,
November 26, 2007 at 5:28
On any given Sunday, as they say. And on any given Saturday, this year.
M. Bouffant said,
November 26, 2007 at 5:31
All well & good, Mr. Always Picked Last & Still Bitter, but what about baseball?
All things considered, the demise of America is probably worth it, though. You got some kind of timetable on that? None of us are getting any younger, if y’know what I mean.
D. Aristophanes said,
November 26, 2007 at 5:31
The Moss interference call was spot on. He’s been getting away with it all year … glad he finally got called for it.
Righteous Bubba said,
November 26, 2007 at 5:35
D. Aristophanes said,
November 26, 2007 at 5:31
The Moss interference call was spot on. He’s been getting away with it all year … glad he finally got called for it.
That annoying Kevin thinks up crazier names all the time.
Mo's Bike Shop smells like shit said,
November 26, 2007 at 5:38
I figured you left-wing wackos as soccer fans rather than football since soccer is the sport of those faggot europeans you people idolize with all their self-hating pacifist ways.
M. Bouffant said,
November 26, 2007 at 5:42
Touchdown, Iggles!! Cheesesteaks for all if Philly’s finest win.
Jeff Fecke said,
November 26, 2007 at 5:42
And on any given Saturday, this year.
On every given Saturday this year.
And as a Vikings fan, I can tell you that Moss has been getting away with that push-off since at least 1997. The big question I as a Vikings fan have: if the Pats finally lose, will “Bad Randy” reemerge? My guess: yes.
M. Bouffant said,
November 26, 2007 at 5:46
Imagine a “Bad Randy” & a “Bad T. O.” both emerging for the Super Bowl.
The Hon. Dr. St. Rev. Bradley S. Rocket, Esq, PhD, MD said,
November 26, 2007 at 5:51
Wow. This is what I get for mouthing off earlier today. How come the Editors can talk smack and not jinx the team, but when I open my trap I frak it up???
M. Bouffant said,
November 26, 2007 at 5:55
Thanksgiving must’ve been a big distraction. Andy Reid probably has something to prove. And I wish I had a few large on this one.
D. Aristophanes said,
November 26, 2007 at 5:57
Actually, what you say or don’t say has no effect on the outcome of sporting events, Brad.
Destiny said,
November 26, 2007 at 6:01
Actually, what you say or don’t say has no effect on the outcome of sporting events, Brad.
I disagree. Also, the beer can must be held just so and unless you stand after the throw the pass is dropped. Lucky shirts mandatory.
Atrios said,
November 26, 2007 at 6:02
the editors talked smack on patriot haters, you talked smack on eagles fans.
mikey said,
November 26, 2007 at 6:06
I’ve still got my lucky condom from 1988.
It’s NASTY.
But it allows me to control the outcome of NFL games. So it’s worth it.
But dood, it IS NASTY…
mikey
The Hon. Dr. St. Rev. Bradley S. Rocket, Esq, PhD, MD said,
November 26, 2007 at 6:12
Actually, what you say or don’t say has no effect on the outcome of sporting events, Brad.
I tried telling that to Pinko Punko. He would hear none of it. I’m starting to think it’s right.
HTML Mencken said,
November 26, 2007 at 6:12
the editors talked smack on patriot haters, you talked smack on eagles fans.
Right now, this is a distinction without a difference.
HTML Mencken said,
November 26, 2007 at 6:14
Wait a minute…
when I open my trap I frak it up???
Could you please talk up the Cowboys for next Thursday, Brad? Pretty please?
Gary Foehammer !!! said,
November 26, 2007 at 6:15
The fact is, football is only a metaphor for western civilization. Whether it is proto-rugby of the united states, or soccer of the northwest octosphere, its importance only lies in its imaginary connections to larger geopolitical issues. that said, phuck all the northern afc division.
steve ex-expat said,
November 26, 2007 at 6:16
Go Eagles!
F Brady.
Sweep the Leg!
The Hon. Dr. St. Rev. Bradley S. Rocket, Esq, PhD, MD said,
November 26, 2007 at 6:19
HOLY SHIT Asante Samuel just saved this game (for now at least)…
dlauthor said,
November 26, 2007 at 6:36
Well, “sweeping the leg” worked out about as well as it did for Johnny Lawrence.
11-0.
M. Bouffant said,
November 26, 2007 at 6:36
Maybe this will teach Esq, PhD to stop these posts, no matter how macho it makes him & the other leftist ballerinas look.
And what’s w/ the headband on Belicheat?
mikey said,
November 26, 2007 at 6:49
That’s my new sig:
mikey
Leftist Ballerina
What?
You got a problem with that?
It’s beautiful….
mikey
Humor Me said,
November 26, 2007 at 7:13
Christ!
That wasn’t much fun at all. I don’t watch sports for the tension-filled uncertainty of a close contest of skill. I just want to laugh at some hapless losers getting their asses handed to them.
Hours of Madden and those horrible graphics and crap. My week is shot.
D. Aristophanes said,
November 26, 2007 at 7:19
The Eagles gave it a ride. They showed how the Pats can be beat. And by playing the game smart - which Belicheat did - he showed that he’s really been an unsportsmanlike dick running up the score these past weeks when he went for TDs on fourth down, late in games the Pats were leading by 30+ points.
Apparently, it’s really manly to go for it on fourth down, but only when there’s no actual risk involved.
tigrismus said,
November 26, 2007 at 7:32
When a leftist ballerina kicks your ass, it stays kicked. But it’s called grand battement au cul.
M. Bouffant said,
November 26, 2007 at 7:38
To give credit where it’s due, that ballerina-ing stuff isn’t as easy as those women make it look.
D. Aristophanes said,
November 26, 2007 at 7:42
Lynn Swann. That’s how you bring the conversation back to football, no matter the subject matter.
Mo's Bike Shop said,
November 26, 2007 at 7:47
tsisageya, can I get you to represent for me on all the sports threads? It’d save me time.
kthnxbai
Hoosier X said,
November 26, 2007 at 8:11
I would like to say, just for the record, that I love sports threads.
At the right-wing newspaper where I work, we have a sports columnist who is a total right-wing dick (and not a very good sportswriter, IMHO) who sometimes injects right-wing babble into his columns. (Last year, when the NFL was cracking down on churches giving public showings of the Super Bowl, he went off on the NFL and the liberal media and how it shows how the media hates Christianity. That kind of stuff. Very amusing, except when people look at me uncomfortably when I tell them where I work. I feel like a concentration camp guard at times.) Sports is separate from the copy desk, so I don’t read him that often, but the next time he writes something really oozing with stupid wingnutty goodness, I’ll share. He claims he was Rick Santorum’s roommate in college.
M. Bouffant said,
November 26, 2007 at 8:19
Oh, that’s good, HX. The No Fun League as “Liberal Media.” A bigger collection of sanctimonious a-holes couldn’t be found outside the Southern Babtiss Convention.
InsaneInTheCheneyBrain said,
November 26, 2007 at 8:22
>but what about baseball?
They’re welcome, each and every person involved, to eat shit and die.
M. Bouffant said,
November 26, 2007 at 8:26
IITCB, why do you hate America so? This would seem to go deeper than perpetually being picked last.
Mo's Bike Shop said,
November 26, 2007 at 8:32
He claims he was Rick Santorum’s roommate in college.
I really don’ *gthaaaarggh%. Actually, don’t have any particular issue against the sporx @plthrafughhallcth!. I mean the threads aren’t that gwaraaachth!
tsisageya, twenty bucks to tell me when the tale has been told. I can give you a few pointers on how to find good bud. Get laid. Find the way out of the basement.
Somebody got a kleenex? Oothworptttt!
InsaneInTheCheneyBrain said,
November 26, 2007 at 8:41
No one hates like a former lover. America let its own principles down so shamefully that the highest-expecation outcome at this point is pleasure from gloating at the utter collapse of this failed hypocritical society.
I mean, isn’t it delicious to watch a former torture victim participate in a debate where torture is normalized as a good policy? Less than sixty years after we execute people for the same stuff? Ah, what a big sucking sound American exceptionalism is making.
America died in 2004 and it isn’t coming back.
InsaneInTheCheneyBrain said,
November 26, 2007 at 8:42
I hope they televise the food riots, I’ve got popcorn, and there’s nothing else on but this sports shit.
InsaneInTheCheneyBrain said,
November 26, 2007 at 8:54
In response to the “picked last”: is the idea that if I had played this stuff more myself, I would somehow enjoy watch fat, stupid people do it on TV? Because I played three different sports throughout my academic career, but somehow I don’t enjoy being a passive tub of lard trash-talking one-dimensional moron who thinks it’s somehow “interesting’ to make the same dumbass statements about the same stupid shit that happens every fucking time they get on their little outfits and hump each other.
InsaneInTheCheneyBrain said,
November 26, 2007 at 8:55
I mean, if I wanted to watch stunted sweaty idiots bump into each other, I’d attend GOP conventions.
M. Bouffant said,
November 26, 2007 at 8:57
The nihilist in me agrees 100%. I like the idea of food riots, especially if they boil the morbidly obese for stock.
Don’t crunch that popcorn too loudly during the riots though. People will kill for that stuff.
Hoosier X said,
November 26, 2007 at 8:59
This guy is so obnoxious, Rick Santorum isn’t even close to being as obnoxious as this guy. During the CA governor’s election, he kept calling Angelides (who ran against Schwarzenegger) by the name Scandalides. He said it over and over agaiin, like it was really funny.
One time, when I first started working here and was sort of keeping my mouth shut (before I realized that the people who are here late and do the real work are not right-wing nutcases), he started going off on the Los Angeles Times and how it doesn’t allow any conservative writers to work there or any conservative opinions on the opinion page. Well, I know better because I read the Times almost every day, so I politely corrected him and I mentioned specifically what I had read on the opinion page that week (Jonah Goldberg, Max Boot) and he stared at me with a creepy, glazed look in his eye, with his mouth open, and he said, “Oh, yeah?” and walked away. He doesn’t come by the copy desk very often, but when he does, he ignores me and yammers away at somebody else on the other side of the room. He is so fucking loud!
Hoosier X said,
November 26, 2007 at 9:04
Dude! This is what I like about sports! If it wasn’t for the fascinating cultural phenomena, and the statement it makes about society, I think I would hate sports as much as anybody. (And people who hate sports are just as much a part of it as the sports fanatics, and just as fascinating.)
M. Bouffant said,
November 26, 2007 at 9:47
I enjoy sports only as a subset of television, our all consuming overlord (& the radio, our underlord).
InsaneInTheCheneyBrain said,
November 26, 2007 at 9:48
I’m honestly curious how you maintain interest when it’s always the same “110%” “get out there and did what we had to do” garbage. The content does not change.
I tried to salvage spectator sports by muting the obnoxious retard announcers who keep saying the dumb shit, but it didn’t work.
InsaneInTheCheneyBrain said,
November 26, 2007 at 9:49
MAYBE JOHN MADDEN COULD COME BY AND HOARSELY SCREAM SOME TAUTOLOGIES TO PUNCH THINGS UP
Hoosier X said,
November 26, 2007 at 10:01
Admittedly, I rarely sit by myself and watch the game and not do anything else. Tonight, I was at work, and the TV was on behind me, and I looked around and watched every once in a while. But I did hear the whole thing. Madden, well, I just don’t know what to say about him. He’s always there, he’s not particularly perceptive or clever or articulate or … anything but there. I used to dislike him, but I guess I’ve gotten used to him, and he’s part of how freaking weird professional sports is - esp. the NFL.
Basketball I can watch a whole game and not do anything else.
Baseball is great fun IF you go to the game. I try to go see the Dodgers a few times a year. But if I’m not there, and have to watch it on TV, baseball is excrutiating.
slightly_peeved said,
November 26, 2007 at 13:00
Sweet blood of Jesus, “liveblogging” (as awful & ugly a word as it is a concept) a hideous display of all-American violence?
Not all-American. Eagles punter is ex-Australian-Rules player Saverio Rocca. Though trust me, he’ll display plenty of violence if the punt returner gets anywhere near him.
Arky - Cthulhusexual said,
November 26, 2007 at 15:08
Nice.
No one tell Mikey that boys in ballet class get to carry the girls around. I know he hates buying new shoes.
Nanook of the North said,
November 26, 2007 at 15:28
Congratulations on the Moral Victory. We still call them losses up there though. Is it true that Philly Sports Fans have more synonyms for loss than we have for snow? (I just used that line in an email to some lame philly.com sports”writer” and liked it so much I wanted to use it again).
Well, is it?
Bill Belichick said,
November 26, 2007 at 20:01
“Apparently, it’s really manly to go for it on fourth down, but only when there’s no actual risk involved.”
Actually Bub it’s called giving the opponent a sporting chance. Stop’m on 4th and you’ve added zero points to the tally. But unless you’re giving the fans a partial refund and hoping on the Plane early, this remains the NFL, not some Panty Waisted Girly Beer League. Don’t forget that, Girly Man.
Bubba Gump said,
November 26, 2007 at 21:22
They showed how the Pats can be beat.
They did? My newspaper said that the Eagles LOST. Guess I gotta get me a better paper.
Bubba Gump said,
November 26, 2007 at 21:27
Say Bill, it’s not just giving them a chance to stop on 4th down, it’s a chance to stop our 4th String RB! They can’t, and yet _we_ are supposed to be embarrassed? What is wrong with that picture?
moondancer said,
November 26, 2007 at 22:49
Pat’s lose stomach for handing out whuppings? I guess they are thrown out as gooper team of destiny. Welcome to Democratic party, home of teams with “raisins instead of grapes”.
Dhalgren said,
November 26, 2007 at 23:25
They showed how the Pats can be beat.
Indeed. The secret is to make zero mistakes on offense. And the Eagles nearly did that, save for two crushing interceptions. Otherwise, they would have won.
Now watch the pats score 52 points next week in typical Belichick angry response. Monday night in Baltimore. The Ravens are so screwed.