22
Wingnut Stuffing
As always at this time of year, as always, I am thankful for you, dear readers, you gorgeous intelligent sexy creatures you. But this is also the time of year that the conservative talking heads who spend the other 364 calendar days being horrible to people put on a noble face and talk about kindness and decency and concern for their fellow man and all that other stuff they usually hate. So I’m thankful that they’re really, really bad at it.
Above: turkey right wing; below: right-wing turkeys.
Over at Butt Propulsion Laboratories, Scott Johnson informs us of the horrifying story of an evil SOMALI immigrant (named Ibrahim!) who raped a woman while ten of his SOMALI neighbors looked on and did nothing. I’m thankful that white people would never be so cruel!
Meanwhile, failed raisin farmer Victor Davis Hanson wonders: “Why this abrupt amnesia about Iraq, given a radical drop in American casualties?” I’m thankful for this sort of top-shelf reporting!
Cutey-pie Randroid Sequoia Megan McArdle would like to know “why both the third world countries I just visited offered excellent airport baggage service, while JFK took over an hour to offload my bag“. I, too, am thankful that the impoverished darkies of other lands are still properly deferential servants, at a time when our own domestic coloreds are all too often overpaid and cheeky!
The tragic story of an Iraq war vet who lost his three children in a car crash inspires naughty girl Michelle Malkin to some lofty thoughts about gratitude and perspective. I’m thankful that Michelle feels so deeply for the victims of automobile accidents, unless they have the bad taste to survive the crash and require medical attention!
At the always-reliable Corner, the Human Steyn takes a break from arguing with the Doughy Pantload over whether that horrible crazy rap music is the worst thing that has ever happened or merely terrible to praise Australian PM John Howard, whose loyalty to America has stood in marked contrast to that of the hated French. I, too, am thankful for friends who stand by me not just when I have been attacked and am in need, but when I do a bunch of crazy shit that endangers me and everyone around me!
And finally, at Clown Hall, Larry Elder claims that health care for the poor wouldn’t be a problem if only there weren’t so many senseless big-government restrictions on who can and can’t practice medicine. I’m thankful that I live in a country that so values free enterprise that I can look forward to the day when poor people who can’t afford to see an MD will be able to get cut-rate health care from their local herbalist, liquor store clerk, or guy who was once issued a first aid kit by the Naval Reserve. HAPPY THANKSGIVING, EVERYBODY!
Gary Ruppert said,
November 22, 2007 at 19:38
The fact is, I give thanks for Fox News and other sources of bias free coverage of reality.
Mary Ruppert said,
November 22, 2007 at 19:39
Stop before you gripe
If only she could heed her own advice.
owlbear1 said,
November 22, 2007 at 19:40
I bet having the memory span of a Goldfish makes this time of year much easier on them.
Mary Ruppert said,
November 22, 2007 at 19:43
The fact is, Gary, I give thanks for Fox News too. It’s nice to have your FLAMING ANTI-AMERICANISM vindicated and reinforced every once in awhile.
Humor Me said,
November 22, 2007 at 19:44
What’s going on here?
That looks suspiciously like a left wing!
gbear said,
November 22, 2007 at 19:45
Three threads down Saul is thankful that there are still poor and homeless people for his church to feed every year on this most patriotic of holidays, unlike you liberals who believe in government handouts.
I’m thankful for a warm house from which to watch big gentle flakes of snow falling on St. Paul this morning. Thankful for two mostly healthy kitties underfoot and a backyard full of chicadees, nuthatches, cardinals, jays and juncos and various woodpeckers (until the Cooper’s Hawk shows up, then everyone splits). Thankful that my four sisters and their families are doing well. Thankful that I found this site and the plethora of smiles and ideas it brought. Hugs all around.
Now it’s time to go find a nice busy overpass to drop pumkin pies from.
Candy said,
November 22, 2007 at 19:47
Gare, Fox sure does cover reality - with a heavy wet blanket of stupidity.
Happy Feast day, Sadly Nosians everywhere!
I’m thankful that I’m going to spend a limited time with my fortunately Republican-free family, eating good food and having a couple of glasses of decent wine. My cousin’s wife is caucusing for Hillary and doesn’t llike my buddy John - she even brought up the fer Chrissakes haircut when I talked to her on the phone earlier - but I doubt we’ll box over it. She’s a union rep and her union is backing Hil, so she’s kind of a Clinton supporter by default. My Aunt is just plain in love with Edwards, so she’ll be on my side, anyway.
gbear said,
November 22, 2007 at 19:48
What’s going on here? That looks suspiciously like a left wing!
I know what you mean, Humor Me, I can never tell my right hand from my left hand after I’ve accidentally stuck them in the deep frier.
Kathleen said,
November 22, 2007 at 20:01
that wing looks a lot like, um, er….something else; so I initially thought the post was going in a different direction. or at least going for a lower brow of humor.
Humor Me said,
November 22, 2007 at 20:02
Well gbear, the thumb is usually a giveaway, unless I’m going for extra crispy, with the fingers all curled up like pork rinds or fried clams or something. Then I just follow the arm up and figure it out that way.
Sad day for the turkeys, and I don’t mean you, Gary.
Ted said,
November 22, 2007 at 20:25
The fact is, Fixed News hasn’t updated their Iraq War casualties list in almost 3 months, and their most-read story today is:
Pro Wrestler ‘Hardbody Harrison’ Convicted of Holding 8 Women as Sex Slaves
Sounds like a Conservative news network to me!
Rightwingsnarkle said,
November 22, 2007 at 20:46
I’m thankful for snark, and for S,N!
Nylund said,
November 22, 2007 at 21:17
I too am thankful for S,N!. Not to get all mushy, but it always cheers me up when I’m having a bad day.
Thanks for fighting the good fight. And thanks for keeping my faith alive that there are enough good people out there who still want America to be the best it can be. A country that the world respects. One that doesn’t torture, cherished equality and tolerance, and puts the freedoms of its citizens above the powers of the government. So thank you all for allowing me to continue to believe that one day we can get there.
crallspace said,
November 22, 2007 at 21:21
I looked at the comments section of the “Blogs for Bush” page which was enough wingnuttery for this t-day.
One of the comments: “How many times have conservatives burned a soldier in efigy?” How ironic, I thought.
a different brad said,
November 22, 2007 at 21:25
Megan is a “cutey-pie”?
Oh dear.
Now we’re gonna get all lookist debating whether she looks like a Pound Puppy or not.
Djur said,
November 22, 2007 at 21:55
adb: Well, she’s a “cutey-pie Randroid Sequoia.” I can’t honestly disagree with any of that.
Hoosier X said,
November 22, 2007 at 21:59
I am thankful for Fox News for making me laugh, and for proving, over and over again, and over and over again, repeatedly, several times a minute, just how shallow and meaningless conservatism is.
There should be a disclaimer: Fox News is intended for entertainment purposes only. Fox News may be dangerous if used to form real political opinions or government policy.
Lesley said,
November 22, 2007 at 22:14
No wonder Gary’s a bitter mealy-mouth. He isn’t gorgeous, sexy, and intelligent!
D. Sidhe said,
November 22, 2007 at 22:16
I’m thankful for a roof over my head, enough food to eat, and someone to pay my vet bills. I’m thankful the sick cat is still with us this year, even if she’s not thankful I just gave her pills again. I’m thankful for a whole world of interesting and entertaining things, and for documentaries–like The Life of Birds which I’m watching right now–to bring many of those things to me, and the internet to bring most of the rest to me–including all the satisfying companionship I find here and elsewhere. I’m thankful I don’t have to cook today, since my oven is not working right. I’m thankful there are still things my species hasn’t fucked up yet, and I’m thankful I’m not a wingnut, and I’m really thankful we get another election next year.
And now and again, when I’m really lucky, I’m thankful for hope.
Happy Thanksgiving Day, folks.
objectivelypro said,
November 22, 2007 at 22:41
I believe I offered you SadlyNosians a Canadian Happy Thanks back in Oct. I hope you’re enjoying the November version.
Now, if you don’t mind, I’m just going to reach across the border and grab a drumstick.
Humor Me said,
November 22, 2007 at 22:47
Gotta be thankful today, what with this completely AWESOME1!! continent god got for us. I mean, the indians were about done with it, and it’s like a rent-controlled 3 bedroom walk up in soho or beacon hill, you gotta know someone, and god hooked us up. Big Time. So, Thanks, lord.
Lately though, the place has sort of gone downhill. Honestly, I can’t even pronounce the names on the mailboxes anymore, and what are they cooking downstairs? Goat? Not to be ungrateful, but if you know of any new places opening up soon, maybe in the country, single story, not to far from shopping. We’d be interested.
Also, we prefer not to rent from jews. Thanks.
Hoosier X said,
November 22, 2007 at 22:59
I am thankful for Gary Ruppert, saul and Kevin, for showing that conservatives have nothing meaningful, original, relevant or honest to use in discussion.
(If they did, surely thay would have used it by now. Maybe they are keeping their powder dry.)
Hoosier X said,
November 22, 2007 at 23:02
I am thankful that I get paid double time for working holidays. I am also thankful that we read all the copy for Friday’s opinion page last night (lowlight - Ann Coulter), which means that I won’t have to ruin Thanksgiving with (as much) blatant conservative gibberish.
DrDick said,
November 22, 2007 at 23:54
I am thankful that I have a job, a home, and food on the table, despite the best efforts of the Republicans. I am also thankful that most of my students a smarter and more reasonable than Gary. I am even thankful to Gary for confirming my impression that wingnuts are all brain dead psychopaths.
edub said,
November 22, 2007 at 23:58
I’m thankful for the sanity that comes my way via blogs like this one (and tbogg, and atrios, and digby, and so many more that it would take til next Thanksgiving to mention them all).
I’m thankful for all the intelligent people who come to these blogs daily and participate.
I’m thankful for Lucinda Williams and New Zealand sauvignon blanc and my girlfriend and my children and my dog and Harry Potter, even though I’m only reading the 4th one and I wanted to get through all seven before the end of the year.
Happy Thanksgiving. Turkey t-minus 15 minutes for me, more or less.
actor212 said,
November 23, 2007 at 1:02
I, too, am thankful for friends who stand by me not just when I have been attacked and am in need, but when I do a bunch of crazy shit that endangers me and everyone around me!
Sounds like a fraternity brother…
Craig said,
November 23, 2007 at 1:12
I’m Australian. We have a federal election tomorrow. George Bush’s buddy, John “Man of Steel” Howard, is facing probable defeat. He even is odds on to lose his own electorarte, which has not happened to a sitting Prime Minister since 1929.
And good riddance too!
Righteous Bubba said,
November 23, 2007 at 1:17
He even is odds on to lose his own electorarte
What does this mean? That the party faithful are voting him down too?
jcricket said,
November 23, 2007 at 1:31
Happy T-Day to all Sadly Nosians everywhere! I am grateful that all of your insightful, cynical and jaded posts have been possible for as long as they have been, and will be into the future. I am grateful for good health of the feline children in the house, for a roof over my head, for a pretty good job for as long as it lasts, and for jcricket’s boy-toy.
May all Sadly Nosians be healthy, and find a sense of community here at Sadly No!
Thanks Gav, HTML, Retardo, Brad, et al for this forum. Much apprecicated.
Smut Clyde said,
November 23, 2007 at 1:44
What does this mean? That the party faithful are voting him down too?
Not so much the party faithful… “electorate” = the electoral district of Bennelong (a chunk of suburban Sydney). If the voters there follow the national swing against Howard’s party, then someone else will be representing them in parliament after tomorrow.
The Aussies are finally realising that Howard’s “loyalty to America” is considerably greater than his loyalty to Australia.
So with any luck, you can look forward to a future column by Steyn. He will explain that the failure of Australia to re-elect their proper leader is one more reason for supporting President-for-Life Musharraf (who understands that democracy is a fragile flower that is sometimes best supported by postponing it indefinitely).
Clint said,
November 23, 2007 at 2:05
I am thankful that the Mexislamohomonupasecularofascist “War on Thanksgiving” hasn’t taken THIS away from us:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5_7C0QGkiVo
mikey said,
November 23, 2007 at 2:06
Let me join in offering my wishes for a pleasant and happy thanksgiving to all my friends on this board. Sanity is hard enough to achieve, let alone keep, and this board is a constant supply of it.
I’m thankful for my roof and my job, family and friends, the peace I’ve enjoyed over the last couple years, and whatever hope I can find I get from them, and you guys.
Oh, and tell Bimler I went for the Ardbeg…
mikey
Smut Clyde said,
November 23, 2007 at 2:25
It’s only early afternoon in NZ, Mikey, but I believe I’ll join you in a Mort.
Arky - Cthulhusexual said,
November 23, 2007 at 2:30
I’m thankful for spoofs like Gary Ruppert Murdoch, who remind me the people he mimics are ten times dumber (and therefore funnier) than they are vile.
I’m thankful the cold front that was supposed to blow through at noon held off until later so I got to hang out in the yard until it was time to cook (75 - 80 degrees, global warming vas ist das?)
And I’m thankful to a multitude of nurses and doctors who are probably better off not knowing what a relentlessly sarcastic bastard I’d grow up to be. (Shhh!)
A-C
D. Sidhe - The Life of Birds kept me stuck in front of the TV an entire weekend. Teh awesome
Craig - I hope Howard the Coward doesn’t pull a Bush2000 on you all. Do you have paper back up for your voting machines?
a different brad said,
November 23, 2007 at 3:59
I, too, am very thankful for S,N! It’s been good for me to have a place where folk understand why the last seven years or so have left me in a bad mood/somewhat depressed. We’re an odd and all too rare breed, and thank you, Seb, for helping us find each other.
robert green said,
November 23, 2007 at 4:18
i’d like to 36th the warm feelings. i travel a ton and i’m happy to know that no matter how crappy the hotel, as long as it has wireless or some sort of thing in the wall then i’ve got SN and it’s all good.
or bad. it’s all bad. but that’s not the point.
now, i need help. i’m very drunk (Fleury 2003 Cabernet, excellent stuff though hard to find), my fox news watching father-in-law is gone, and i’m just trying to figure out–WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED AT THE END OF NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN????????????? that shit was confusing.
M. Bouffant said,
November 23, 2007 at 4:19
I have nothing & I thank no one. I’d be a sheep if I did.
gbear said,
November 23, 2007 at 4:32
I just heard the temperature in St Paul is heading down to 15f tonight. I’m not feeling thankful any more.
Smut Clyde said,
November 23, 2007 at 5:03
According to close forensic examination, that picture is not a turkey wing (left or right). It is instead the jawbone of an ass, battered and deep-fried.
Mister Leonard Pierce, I accuse you of being an accomplice after the fact on 100 charges of Philistinocide, for attempting to dispose of the murder weapon used by the co-accused Mr Samson.
STH said,
November 23, 2007 at 5:20
I’d like to say a big thank you to the folks who write and comment here. You make me laugh when nobody else can.
And it doesn’t really make sense for an atheist like me to be “thankful” for things like my job and my health, but I’m all for taking a minute to appreciate what you have and how lucky you’ve been. And what I really appreciate today is that the lump on my cat that I was sure was cancer turned out to be an infection and it’s going away (and he’s being a really good sport about the antibiotic I’m giving him). And my sister’s diabetic, hyperthyroid, 4-pound microcat has pulled back from the edge and it looks like she’s going to make it.
wombat said,
November 23, 2007 at 5:37
…another soon to be satiated antipodean here. We don’t celebrate Thanksgiving ( ….at least until tomorrow when the Bush Rat gets his), but thanks for the chuckles SNers.
zebbidies spring said,
November 23, 2007 at 11:51
Arky - Cthulhusexual
In Australia we don’t use voting machines. Just pencils and paper. Voting machines are just too unreliable and open to fraud so we never took them up.
Just like we use the Westminster system instead of your (frankly peculiar) electoral college system and an all-powerful president. Having maintained a constitutional monarchy with a powerless monarch, we have felt no desire to risk reinstating the Divine Right of Kings on the off chance that we’d get a local Princess Diana for our gossip mags to salivate over.
However, if you guys feel that you simply must have an elected king, don’t mind us - we’ll be happy staying right here with a planet between us and you.
Freshly Squeezed Cynic said,
November 23, 2007 at 12:09
From Larry Elder’s column:
I knew that, like Custer, I sat surrounded by liberals.
So it wasn’t the Native Americans that killed Custer! It was those perfidious liberals.
Freshly Squeezed Cynic said,
November 23, 2007 at 12:10
Though I notice Elder uses the popular Wingnut Conceit of the Liberal Friends Who Don’t Argue Back Or Know Anything At All.
So that’s ok.
(Lex) Skink Tyree (Azagthoth) said,
November 23, 2007 at 15:29
I’m so thankful for Sadly, No, that you can’t even imagine. The people who used to come to my blog (wingnuts) just thought I had lost it and accused me of being paranoid when I started writing about the dangers of the growth of Christian fundies. You know, paranoid, as opposed to being justifiably concerned about anyone not Christian in the U.S. (i.e. liberals & Muslims). I lurked here for a long time. Wingnuts still liked my blog, even though I had come out with my decidedly non-wingnut voting record. Finally, the wingnuts began to see that what they were taking as “jokes” that I was not that conservative weren’t really so much jokes. Blessed Be!
But without sites like this one, I would’ve thought I was alone on the web in terms of this crap. So thank you again, and XOXOXOXOXO. I have tried so hard to turn friends from the dark side of wingnuttia, but will they come?
Sadly, No.
Arky - Cthulhusexual said,
November 23, 2007 at 23:14
Thanks for the info zebbidies spring. And you’re very kind to describe the Electoral College as “peculiar.”
Yeah, well there’s no need to gloat about your good fortune, but if you can give King Dubya’s pal the boot we’d be appreciative.
Smut Clyde said,
November 23, 2007 at 23:30
guy who was once issued a first aid kit by the Naval Reserve
What’s this Naval Reserve? Is it anything like Inner Circle Navy Rum?
Best Jokes For You! » Comment on Wingnut Stuffing by (Lex) Skink Tyree (Azagthoth) said,
December 4, 2007 at 1:13
[...] (Lex) Skink Tyree (Azagthoth) put an intriguing blog post on Comment on Wingnut Stuffing by (Lex) Skink Tyree (Azagthoth)Here’s a quick excerptWingnuts still liked my blog, even though I had come out with my decidedly non-wingnut voting record. Finally, the wingnuts began to see that what they were taking as “jokes” that I was not that conservative weren’t really so much jokes … [...]
Best Jokes For You! » Comment on Wingnut Stuffing by Best Jokes For You! » Comment on ... said,
December 4, 2007 at 4:30
[...] Best Jokes For You! » Comment on Wingnut Stuffing by (Lex) Skink Tyree (Azagthoth) placed an observative post today on Comment on Wingnut Stuffing by Best Jokes For You! » Comment on …Here’s a quick excerpt… still liked my blog, even though I had come out with my decidedly non-wingnut voting record. Finally, the wingnuts began to see that what they were taking as “jokes” that I was not that conservative weren’t really so much jokes … [… … [...]