Nov
19
19
Shorter Glenn Reynolds
ABOVE: Glenn Reynolds proudly displays a newly-published biography of himself.
- It’s not fair that two guys can play hide the sausage with each other when I can’t even own an assault rifle.
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard.
UPDATE by Clif: Kathleen is wondering what the subtitle of the book says. So she won’t strain her eyes, here it is:
MrWonderful said,
November 19, 2007 at 19:22
(Blah blah…) “And if courts fail to do so, the legitimacy of courts will suffer considerably.”
Dude, 1) the legitimacy of courts suffered considerably after the Supremes bent over for Bush in 2000. Devote your concern to that.
2) Your owning an assault rifle is a potential threat to me. Your having gay sex isn’t.
Doctorb Science said,
November 19, 2007 at 19:25
Something about the way they oil those long, firm barrels seems kinda … I dunno.
Legalize said,
November 19, 2007 at 19:28
Jesus, why do wingnuts constantly confuse totally unrelated rights with other totally unrelated rights? Why can’t they understand the difference between the consequences of regulations affecting two wholly unrelated areas? Why do they feel no embarassment about prattling on on and on and on about matters about which they have zero understanding?
WHY?!
Smiling Mortician said,
November 19, 2007 at 19:29
Y’know, ol’ GHR bothers me more than many, if not most, wingnut apologists. There’s some degree of he-really-oughta-know-better that doesn’t apply to, say, J. Grant Swank.
Instadisingenuouslegalwhore.
bago said,
November 19, 2007 at 19:30
A dick can fire one load for every five minutes on a good day. A gun just takes milliseconds to reload.
Hoosier X said,
November 19, 2007 at 19:39
Be fair.
Imagine if conservatives restricted their prattling to topics they knew something about. There would be a sharp decline in conservative prattling time. And thus, many issues of public concern would not be as thoroughly discussed in a very shallow and repetitive and futile manner.
That wouldn’t be very good for a democracy, would it?
You’ve got to think these things through.
mikey said,
November 19, 2007 at 19:42
Geez, dood, but here’s some REALLY bad news. There actually isn’t a “textually secured right” to ANY kind of sex. So if you want to regulate gay sex, somebody else might just come along and want to regulate whatever the hell it is YOU do in bed.
Also, nobody says you can’t own an assault rifle. The law in question is whether you can own a handgun in DC. And again, nobody says you can’t own a handgun in DC - just that you can be prosecuted if you do. I’d point out that is also the case with marijuana. Anybody who wants to own a bag of marijuana doesn’t stop and say “Oh shit, waitaminute, I can’t buy this. It’s AGAINST THE LAW!”
As far as I’m concerned, it’s a personal decision. Does your desire to own something outweigh your fear of the legal consequences of said ownership? It’s a decision most of us have to make at one point or another in our lives, a natural outgrowth of a society that feels it necessary to legislate EVERYTHING…
mikey
kiki said,
November 19, 2007 at 19:53
Don’t go putting ideas in their heads, mikey. After all, if the courts banned ALL forms of sex, it wouldn’t affect the life of the average wingnut one bit, so what would they care?
Les Izmore said,
November 19, 2007 at 20:00
I don’t know much about ‘gay sex’ but I believe it involves a person’s private parts and the text of the Constitution guarantees a right to your privacy fer sure. And heck in my dictionary it says gay is a synonym for happy so’s I’d guess those folks should be allowed to pursue until they catch each other and after that the right to bump privates kicks in as it were. It’s true I’m not a lawyer like that Reynolds feller but it makes perfect sense to me.
John T said,
November 19, 2007 at 20:12
the text of the Constitution guarantees a right to your privacy fer sure
Tell that to Justice Scalia.
Thers said,
November 19, 2007 at 20:13
Reynolds is such a jerk. He wants legislatures not courts to decide gay marriage issues, but he’s been sniggering about what a dummy Spitzer is for bringing this up in the NY Senate. Asshole.
MzNicky said,
November 19, 2007 at 20:15
Yeah. As if what we really need down here in Tennessee is a bunch of jagoffs like Instapudding® running around with assault rifles.
Hey, Mr. Law Professor Man: Did you wrench your back making that supremely idiotic stretch to link gays n’ guns? Not to mention, don’t you have some finals to grade and whatnot?
roy edroso said,
November 19, 2007 at 20:19
Now you’ve done it, Clif. Expect a stern note from Megan McArdle on the incivility of making jokes involving gayness and rightwingers. Implying that Perfesser Reynolds would use terms like “hide the sausage” is an accusation of homophobia, which is practically the same as an accusation of closeted homosexualty, which is tantamount to saying he’s gay, which is deeply offensive to gay people and concern trolls alike.
Plus it’s funny, which makes everything worse.
HemlockEcho said,
November 19, 2007 at 20:39
Did you wrench your back making that supremely idiotic stretch to link gays n’ guns?
It’s actually a perfectly logical connection. Just ask Herr Freud.
Deschanel said,
November 19, 2007 at 20:42
I is confuse: I thought right-wingers were against government intrusion into private lives.
But “regulating gay sex” seems to be something this cretin is all for.
Meanwhile, the global warming denying, GOP voting South , obsessed with guns and gay sex, is running out of water, a catastrophic drought in the offing. Yet they continually vote against smart people who believe climate change is a threat.
Sounds like Darwinism to me! Wow, global warming and survival of the non-dumbest might be proved all at once. Keep praying for rain, rather than infrastructure funds you voted against cos you hate guv’mint!
DJ Jazzy Jazeera said,
November 19, 2007 at 20:42
Priceless! Has anyone else read this? Less than 6 pages of actual reading; most of it is footnotes.
http://papers.ssrn.com/sol3/papers.cfm?abstract_id=1030769
The ‘money shot:’
We should expect courts to treat the regulation of gun ownership with the same skepticism previously applied to the regulation of gay sex[74] and communist propaganda.[75]
Cangrejero said,
November 19, 2007 at 20:43
Oh for fuck’s sake, Glenn, just make out with assrocket and get it over with already.
Rightwingsnarkle said,
November 19, 2007 at 20:43
I say, fine - fuck Glenn Reynolds. He wants it. He wants it bad.
pch1013 said,
November 19, 2007 at 20:48
Would the words “load,” “shaft,” and “shoot” be useful at some point in this discussion?
Doctorb Science said,
November 19, 2007 at 20:49
Roy, if an “accusation of homophobia” “is practically the same as an accusation of closeted homosexualty” then what about using (as opposed to mentioning) the phrase “family values”?
http://www.salon.com/comics/boll/2007/10/25/boll/
fred said,
November 19, 2007 at 20:54
Kinda makes ya wonder: would American politics be different if it were mandatory to own an assault rifle in DC?
Dhalgren said,
November 19, 2007 at 20:55
We need to get Glenn laid. It’s time he and assrocket got it on.
Furthermore, what does Glenn want with an AK-47 or MP5 anyway? What school is he planning to massacre?
FlipYrWhig said,
November 19, 2007 at 21:05
The gist: If courts pay as much attention to assessing the reasonableness of regulations aimed at firearms — where there’s a textually secured right — as they do to regulation of gay sex — where there isn’t — firearms owners will receive considerable protection.
Dude, the word “regulated” is IN THE GODDAMN AMENDMENT. “Well-regulated militia,” remember?
SamFromUtah said,
November 19, 2007 at 21:16
what about using (as opposed to mentioning) the phrase “family values”?
Not conclusive, but I think that use of the dogwhistle “San Francisco values” is.
anon said,
November 19, 2007 at 21:17
Oh, lordy, the end of his article is, as they say, priceless:
“The faith of the public is especially important to the federal judiciary because it is a branch of government that possesses neither the sword nor the purse. If federal courts are to retain this faith, the public must see them as faithfully obeying the commands of the Constitution. Though the public generally pays limited attention to most legal issues, Professor O’Shea is correct that cases like Parker will receive considerably more scrutiny. Once the courts fall under the public eye, the way they handle the reasonableness portion of “reasonable regulation” will be particularly important.
We should expect courts to treat the regulation of gun ownership with the same
skepticism previously applied to the regulation of gay sex and communist
propaganda. In some sense, this proposition may seem unnerving to both gun rights
supporters and opponents. Still, if Judge Kozinski’s comment is not to become an
epitaph for the legitimacy of judicial review, such an expectation is necessary.”
Really? This is all it takes to publish law articles? As far as I can tell, it’s just a whine: “They got their gay sex, I want my gun.” And I love, just love, that he tossed in “cummunist progaganda” there at the end. Awesome!
Legalize said,
November 19, 2007 at 21:20
I keep forgetting that Reynolds is a “law perfesser.” He really really should know better than to conflate 2d amendment and 14th amendment rights, especially given that no one knows what the hell the 2d amendment actually means.
Johnny Coelacanth said,
November 19, 2007 at 21:22
A dick can fire one load for every five minutes on a good day.
Ah, to be young again.
what does Glenn want with an AK-47 or MP5 anyway? What school is he planning to massacre?
He needs it for to resist the Islamofascists when they try to force him into Dhimmitude. Or when the Hitlery administration tries to pry it from his warm, sticky fingers. Or the principle of the thing. The First Amendment lets you say any damn thing you like, but you don’t go around all the time SAYING it, right? Same principle applies with the 2nd Amendment. Or so I’m supposing that’s how the “logic” goes.
Kathleen said,
November 19, 2007 at 21:23
I am trying really hard to read the subtitle of teh book. I have a feeling its going to be awesome.
Righteous Bubba said,
November 19, 2007 at 21:36
A dick can fire one load for every five minutes on a good day.
This is not yet as efficient or satisfying as the Two Minutes Hate.
anon said,
November 19, 2007 at 21:38
Well, remember the Sokal-Social Text scandal? Maybe, just maybe, Reynolds has written a parody and he’s just waiting for someone to call him on it? It’s pretty funny if you read it as straight up parody. The clue, of course, is tossing in “communist propaganda” there at the end. And doesn’t Reynolds teach at a state school in Tennessee? And the article is from the Tennessee Law Review. Hmmm. I’m bettting that he knows guys on the editorial board of TLR and some of them are in on the joke. Well, even if it’s straight, it’s pretty funny. I can’t wait to see what Ace makes the Reynolds article.
Tim said,
November 19, 2007 at 21:43
“A dick can fire one load for every five minutes on a good day.
Ah, to be young again.”
Yeah, I went right “there” too….
Kathleen said,
November 19, 2007 at 21:48
my eyes thank you!
the beanie cap is the clincher. Can’t you just see GR wearing one, as he sits in the yard flipping through The Dangerous Book for Boys?
pedestrian said,
November 19, 2007 at 21:58
Oh, I’ve got another one!!
Why can’t it be easier to catch a pony than to catch a cold? Especially considering that the Hypocratic Oath, the very foundation of our medical system, says, “first do no harm”. Now which do you think is more harmful, colds or ponies?
Your move, Glenn.
kingubu said,
November 19, 2007 at 21:59
Wanna send a Wingnut into overload? Wait ’til they whip out their 2nd Amendment advocacy and try to pin you in a corner on gun control and do the unexpected: applaud them.
“Ah, a place where we can find common ground,” you say. “I love the 2nd Amendment and I think the framers showed extraordinarily good judgment in their effort to ensure that The Executive would never have a standing army to send into foreign wars on a whim. As a true patriot, I’m sure you will now join with me and other 2nd Amendment advocates in demanding that the Army, Air Force, and Marines be disbanded and replaced with the citizen militia that the framers intended and the Constitution mandates”
It won’t work, obviously, but using their favorite Constitutional amendment as a wedge to set their love of guns and their love of militarism against one another is pretty dammed entertaining.
Fluffybunnyfeet said,
November 19, 2007 at 21:59
“the beanie cap is the clincher. Can’t you just see GR wearing one, as he sits in the yard flipping through The Dangerous Book for Boys?”
Yeah…and nothing else.
Mmmmmm - instapudding!
Fluffybunnyfeet said,
November 19, 2007 at 22:00
I’m sorry - did I just make you sick up?
J— said,
November 19, 2007 at 22:23
From instapundit.com:
I’d love to shoot my mouth off about this, but comity dictates I abstain from making snide remarks.
MzNicky said,
November 19, 2007 at 22:32
True story: I attended an auction/fundraising event a few months ago for the local chapter of the SPJ (Society of Professional Journalists). One of the items up for bid was lunch with the famous popular blogger/UT law professor/ homeboy. No one (except moi) seemed to have ever heard of him, and his generously proffered meal with yakka-yakka-yakka was not one of the, er, higher-bid items. I kinda almost felt bad for him, til I remembered he’s a douchebag.
anon said,
November 19, 2007 at 22:54
Hmmm, should we be saying “Law Professor and Gay Sex Adovate Glennnnn Reynolds”? And I’m still waiting, waiting, waiting, for Ace to illuminate us on Reynolds brilliant article.
Famous Soviet Athlete said,
November 19, 2007 at 23:11
Now which do you think is more harmful, colds or ponies?
Of the two, I think Glen should pick the communist propaganda.
Kathleen said,
November 19, 2007 at 23:27
that story makes me very happy Nicky.
perhaps that’s why we were inflicted with this.
actor212 said,
November 19, 2007 at 23:58
His hands…so grotesque and freakish…almost as if he was inhuman.
Oh. Wait….
agc said,
November 19, 2007 at 23:59
I pity the people taking Conlaw from this guy. How batshit does your answer need to be for an A?
pch1013 said,
November 20, 2007 at 0:35
File under “Wingnuts, things to cause explosions in heads of”:
http://www.pinkpistols.org
mikey said,
November 20, 2007 at 0:45
Re: Pink Pistols.
In their suggested reading list they include two very good books by that noted firearms authority and uber wingnut Jeff Cooper.
I suspect he’s rolling over in his grave with enough rotational velocity to light the city of Philadelphia.
mikey
ahem said,
November 20, 2007 at 1:13
A dick can fire one load for every five minutes on a good day.
Thus, Glenn Reynolds’ prolixity.
noen said,
November 20, 2007 at 1:29
Ya know, that photo has endless possibilities that need to be explored in Photoshop. One hand grasping and the other pointing. Glen Reynolds, a sammich and a goat. The permutations are mind boggling.
Doctorb Science said,
November 20, 2007 at 1:57
He’s kind of doing a Lynndie there.
Bastion Booger said,
November 20, 2007 at 2:18
Don’t you hippies understand. “GUNS ARE LIBERTY”S TEETH”! They are the only way to protect the citizenry from a tyrannical government. When the people are unarmed they are slaves. When they are armed they are FREEMEN!
mikey said,
November 20, 2007 at 2:20
Yeah, that whole protection from a tyrannical government’s working out really well so far….
mikey
John O said,
November 20, 2007 at 2:26
As an honest lib-lite, meaning I think the government has plenty of valid functions, among but not all-inclusively national defense and environmental protection and human rights, GHR makes me want to puke technicolor rainbows.
What. A. Loser.
It’s testimony to how far we have fallen that he gets more hits than any blogger out here.
It’s of course hard to say, for sure, not knowing the man and all, but it seems to me he would like some cock.
If there’s one thing good about the last 7 years, it’s that we’ve learned the more you doth protest teh Gay, the more likely it is you want some of teh Gay.
What say ye, Glenn? The good news is that we’ll tell you it’s OK. You were born that way. You loves you some dick. What does that have to do with government on an even remotely libertarian level?
I’m going to fight The Man until it kills me, I swear.
Hope it is later rather than sooner.
Bastion Booger said,
November 20, 2007 at 2:28
George Bush is NOT A TYRANT! He is a patriot who realizes the threat that islamo-fascism poses to Western Civilization! He is one of the most Second Amendment Friendly Presidents we have had in modern times. The REAL TYRANTS ARE THE DEMOCRATS LIKE HILLARY CLINTON WHO WANT DISARM THE AMERICAN PEOPLE AND IMPOSE A SOCIALIST GOVERNMENT! I say I as an American CITIZEN AND A FREEMAN WILL NOT LET THAT HAPPEN NOR WILL ANY OTHER LAW ABIDING PATRIOT!
John O said,
November 20, 2007 at 2:30
And one of the greatest lib-fantasies of all-time is that they’ll be able to defend themselves against “the government,” even if they get their way and get to buy tanks and assault rifles on the free market.
That is just so retarded it defies belief.
Face it, folks. A very large contingent of our precious electorate couldn’t pass an open-book test of citizenship.
John O said,
November 20, 2007 at 2:31
Timely, or just missing the satire?
Righteous Bubba said,
November 20, 2007 at 2:31
I say I as an American CITIZEN AND A FREEMAN WILL NOT LET THAT HAPPEN NOR WILL ANY OTHER LAW ABIDING PATRIOT!
So what if a socialist gets elected who wants to disarm the American people?
Bastion Booger said,
November 20, 2007 at 2:34
As Thomas Jefferson once said “It is better to die as a Freeman then to live as a slave!”
Righteous Bubba said,
November 20, 2007 at 2:34
If we elect a socialist who wants to disarm Americans Bastion will die. Get to work everyone.
John O said,
November 20, 2007 at 2:35
Holy Omission, Batman!
Also, I think it is a valid function of government to defend the Bill of Rights.
Which ol’ BB seems to understand, at least as far as #2 goes. I just don’t read it quite the way he does.
Tell us about your thoughts on #4, BB!
Bastion Booger said,
November 20, 2007 at 2:37
I can see you are trying to trap me! What do you honestly think I’m that stupid? I’m not going to let you trap me in my words.
John O said,
November 20, 2007 at 2:37
OK, BB, we get it. You need you some arms.
What about teh gay? Where are you on that?
Also, still waiting for your insightful analysis of Amendment #4.
John O said,
November 20, 2007 at 2:38
BB, excuse me for laughing, but how could I possibly trap you? You have just as much opportunity here to make your genius case as I do.
C’mon, give it a shot. This is a comedy blog.
Bastion Booger said,
November 20, 2007 at 2:39
The forth amendment prevents “unreasonable searches and siezures”. I has to depend upon the circumstances in order to define what is reasonable and what is unreasonable.
Bastion Booger said,
November 20, 2007 at 2:40
I was referring to Righteous Bubba trying to trap me.
Gary Ruppert said,
November 20, 2007 at 2:41
The fact is, Atlanta is not out of water because of any global warming liberal bias hoohaw garbage, or because of any of the much hated corporations that the liberals still work for and still provide much to our communities. It is because of greenshirts who would starve people of water in order to protect some speckled trout that nobody cares about downstream, or stop drilling wells in an aquifer because of the lies lies lies that it is running low. YOu liberals are so dumb. There is plenty of water. But the hippie greenshirts want to cut us off to make a point. Highly unamerican.
John O said,
November 20, 2007 at 2:42
Lets say you have some guns that are of a questionable nature, legally, but you haven’t done any bad shit with them. You haven’t even done anything REMOTELY bad with them, but you got yourself a tank or a coupla’ dozen grenade launchers, just in case.
The governement gets a tip and blows down your door without a warrant or even a care.
Reasonable or not?
OK, lets say you think, “unreasonable.” What if you have some reefer, BB? Do the same standards apply?
John O said,
November 20, 2007 at 2:42
LOL, RB. The floor is yours.
Gary Ruppert said,
November 20, 2007 at 2:43
Oh, and stop beating up on patriots who are speaking truth to liberal bias power.
slippytoad said,
November 20, 2007 at 2:44
I hoping we get the chance to explain it to him in detail. When about mid-2009 he gets to read the articles of his impeachment on the grounds that he is willfully misinterpreting the clear and indisputable language of the Constitution in the furtherance of his personal political goals.
John O said,
November 20, 2007 at 2:45
I’m getting more experience out here. Is this the fake Gary, the liar Gary, the moron Gary, the masochist Gary, teh Gay Gary, or the “real” one?
Bastion Booger said,
November 20, 2007 at 2:45
The question of gay “marriage”, if thats what you were refering to John should be for the most part a states rights issue. Meaning the individual states should pass state amendments banning same sex marriage. However because of the fact that activist judges routinely ignore the will of the vast majority of the people and the states such as what happened when a federal judge ruled that a vote by 70% of Nebraskans banning gay marriage in their state was “unconstitutional”, I believe as a last resort we need a federal constitutional amendment banning same sex marriage.
Gary Ruppert said,
November 20, 2007 at 2:45
“The governement gets a tip and blows down your door without a warrant or even a care.
Reasonable or not?”
The fact is, if you are a terrorist or a liberal wanting to hurt America, then yes. If you are a patriot preparing to defend America against the terrorists, the communists, the left lib immigrant eurotrash conspiracy of effeite faggetry to rob us of our freedom, then no.
mikey said,
November 20, 2007 at 2:47
I’m sorry, but I have to ask.
Who are these acne scarred, reading impaired adolescents, and why are they bothering us?
mikey
Gary Ruppert said,
November 20, 2007 at 2:47
In addition, the fact is that most Americans support our troops, our President and our actiopns to preserve freedom in Iraq. We will not let some loud mouthed libs, or activist liberal judges, to ovveride our will.
John O said,
November 20, 2007 at 2:47
BB, your silence screams at high-volumes. Where are you on teh Gay Menace?
Gary, you’re so boring I don’t even bother with you anymore. Again, experience.
Gary Ruppert said,
November 20, 2007 at 2:49
The fact is, I have nothing to fear from government moitoring or spy, as I am a true USA patriot who is faithful to our President and Our Mission. You liberals smoke pot and plan sedition, so I would say be afraid. Be very afraid.
Bastion Booger said,
November 20, 2007 at 2:50
John O, the U.S. Constitution protects the rights of law abiding American citizens to own and carry firearms. The Constitution says nill about narcotics.
John O said,
November 20, 2007 at 2:50
Thanks, BB. I apologize for our cross-posts. You were calmly explaining your position while I was clamoring for it.
Again, I apologize.
So, BB, it’s OK to be teh Gay in one state but not the other? Doesn’t that strike you as a bit of a moral compromise?
(Ed: Not sure these two can understand words with more than two syllables.)
mikey said,
November 20, 2007 at 2:52
Gotta say, Booger’s right about that shit.
(Hell, I just always wanted to type that line)
mikey
John O said,
November 20, 2007 at 2:52
Which “armed militia” are you a part of, BB? Speaking from the language of the Constitution, of course.
Bastion Booger said,
November 20, 2007 at 2:52
Exactly Gary, I support President Bush, our great American soldiers and the war on terror. These Leftys are a bunch of traitors. If FDR was President these liberals would be in prison.
John O said,
November 20, 2007 at 2:53
Yo! BB!
Ever heard the phrase, “tyranny of the majority?”
Just wondering.
Bastion Booger said,
November 20, 2007 at 2:55
I meant it should be up to the states. However I realize it cannot be left up to the states because of activist judges. That is why I am strongly in favor of a federal constitutional amendment banning gay marriage in all 50 states.
John O said,
November 20, 2007 at 2:55
BB, I’m not sure, but if you’re not familiar, I think you can probably Google it.
Go to “google.com.” Aww, sorry. You may need a “www” in front of that.
Always happy to help.
John O said,
November 20, 2007 at 2:56
BB, what scares you about teh Gay?
Take your time. Give us an epic.
Bastion Booger said,
November 20, 2007 at 2:56
I am a part of the unorganized militia, which is made up of all able bodied male citizens ages 18-45.
John O said,
November 20, 2007 at 2:58
BB? “Armed militia?”
Inquiring minds, like the Feds, want to know.
Quick, while the GOP still controls all Executive branches.
Bastion Booger said,
November 20, 2007 at 2:59
Tyranny of the majority. I think what our founders meant by that is that we shouldn’t persecute a minority sect of Christianity such as when the Anglicans persecuted the Baptists in England.
MrWonderful said,
November 20, 2007 at 3:00
Oh yeah? If the 4th Amendment “guarantees” against unreasonable searches and seizures, how come there are still people who have epilepsy?
Bastion Booger said,
November 20, 2007 at 3:01
All able bodied American males who are armed and between the ages of 18 and 45 are members of the unorganized militia.
Major — de Coverley said,
November 20, 2007 at 3:02
Gimme pie.
Bastion Booger said,
November 20, 2007 at 3:04
The second amendment is all that protects law abiding patriots from tyranny.
Bastion Booger said,
November 20, 2007 at 3:06
If the Supreme Court really cared about the Constitution as they claim they would declare the 1968 Gun Control Act Unconstitutional.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
November 20, 2007 at 3:10
Bastion Booger said,
November 20, 2007 at 3:01
All able bodied American males who are armed and between the ages of 18 and 45 are members of the unorganized militia.
I turned 48 on Sunday, Bastion Booger.
I find your ageism disturbing.
SamFromUtah said,
November 20, 2007 at 3:17
Why are people going on about the socialist drive “to disarm the American people?”
In those words, I mean? I’ve never seen that expressed in words of more than four letters before - i.e. “They want to take away our guns.”
Sometimes they change it up and write “They want to take our guns away”, or if they’re really trying to engage the listener personally “They want to take your guns away.”
What I want to know is this - if the Socialism Communisms are going to take my guns away, where are they going to take them?
Bastion Booger said,
November 20, 2007 at 3:19
They are going to take them to the Land of Nod beyond the River.
Fozzetti said,
November 20, 2007 at 3:20
So many conservatives/wingnuts seem to be barely sentient, and completely un-self-aware. They try to hide this by using the Thesaurus a lot. But you can call s**t “Stool”, but it still Stinks.
Bastion Booger said,
November 20, 2007 at 3:20
“Where the worm never dies”!
Bastion Booger said,
November 20, 2007 at 3:23
I am having right now some pasta with a home made pork sauce. It is absolutely delicious.
Bastion Booger said,
November 20, 2007 at 3:23
My wife is an execellent cook.
Major — de Coverley said,
November 20, 2007 at 3:25
Give everbody pie!
Fozzetti said,
November 20, 2007 at 3:26
“Though the public generally pays limited attention to most legal issues” What a scornful opinion of “the public” he has! I think we pay quite a lot of attention.
Fozzetti said,
November 20, 2007 at 3:31
John O: “one of the greatest lib-fantasies of all-time is that they’ll be able to defend themselves against “the government”
Well, the Ewoks did pretty good, didn’t they?
Bastion Booger said,
November 20, 2007 at 3:33
Fozetti, have you ever seen the short lived Ewoks animated series? It was pretty good so was the Droids animated series.
Bastion Booger said,
November 20, 2007 at 3:36
I thought Star Wars Episode 3 was the best one of the Star Wars movies. Emperor Palpatine was awesome!
John O said,
November 20, 2007 at 3:42
Ah, NOW we have some sense of BB.
Tell us your favorite video game!
Fozzetti said,
November 20, 2007 at 3:44
Bastion Booger and Garry
Sitting in a tree-
Bastion Booger said,
November 20, 2007 at 3:46
I tried to extend to you liberals an olive branch. I figured that is something both “wingnuts” and leftwing socialists can have in common an appreciation of the Star Wars movies.
Bastion Booger said,
November 20, 2007 at 3:48
George Lucas is actually coming out with a Star Wars televison series, I think it should be pretty good.
John O said,
November 20, 2007 at 3:54
I’m with you, BB. If any Islamofacscist can’t see the similarities between the David Ewoks vs. the…uh…er…democratic? Goliath Empire, well, that just goes to show you. Especially when it comes to firepower.
The first one was great though, I’ll give you that.
Bastion Booger said,
November 20, 2007 at 3:55
Star Wars was some good movies, both conservatives and liberals can agree on that.
John O said,
November 20, 2007 at 3:55
This is depressing. I need a new thread. C’mon, S,N!
These guys are, well, less than we usually get out here. It’s not even any fun.
John O said,
November 20, 2007 at 3:58
The only redeeming quality BB has boils down to right wing intellectual expression.
For which I, for one, thank you, BB.
You’re a true patriot.
Bastion Booger said,
November 20, 2007 at 3:59
Thanks John, you’re a patriot as well.
mikey said,
November 20, 2007 at 4:00
Umm. Yeah. That’s why most of us have gone to make dinner, watch football, go upstairs and see if that babe across the way might forget to close her blinds again, or gone downstairs to the neighbors to try and figure out who the hot babe that shows up every now and then is.
‘Cause this is more than boring, it’s painful…
mikey
John O said,
November 20, 2007 at 4:02
Thanks, BB. Coming from you at this notorious blog that is a true compliment of the highest and most honored order.
I mean, what ABOUT these crazies, BB?
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
November 20, 2007 at 4:02
These guys are, well, less than we usually get out here. It’s not even any fun.
Reach for your inner wingnut, John O. When life gives you eggnog…
John O said,
November 20, 2007 at 4:05
Yo, BB! Like me, you may be too old to play video games, but just in case, what’s your favorite?
I kinda gave up shortly after Pong, but that’s just because they were too complicated and often too liberal for me.
What about you?
Bastion Booger said,
November 20, 2007 at 4:06
I like Empire Earth for my PC, so I can form an Empire and conquer the world.
Bastion Booger said,
November 20, 2007 at 4:07
You can play any epoch from the stone age all the way to the future with realistic nation states, soldiers and weapons.
John O said,
November 20, 2007 at 4:08
Never played that one, of course, and sorry. I’m a “Risk” man. Same concept, though. World domination rules, like the good ol’ U.S. of A.
Kick those commie-Jew-spic-nigro-fag-Islams right in their expanded anuses when they’re down, I say.
John O said,
November 20, 2007 at 4:10
Cannot. Be. Real.
Must. Go. Elsewhere.
TBogg. Please. I. Know. Yours. Are. Real.
Bastion Booger said,
November 20, 2007 at 4:11
There are alot of good strategy games out there, such as Civilization and Civilization 2 which I unfortunately never played.
N.C. said,
November 20, 2007 at 4:13
Star Wars eps. 4-6 were overrated and eps 1-3 were a pathetic cash grab.
There, I said it.
Arky - Cthulusexual said,
November 20, 2007 at 4:13
Maybe Reynolds Wrap doesn’t want anyone to have sex. Maybe he has turned to guns because unlike people, guns can’t run away, hide, change their phone numbers, block e-mails or get restraining orders.
They’re just resting up between reloads. So to speak.
Mo's Bike Shop said,
November 20, 2007 at 4:16
Tyranny of the majority. I think what our founders meant by that is that we shouldn’t persecute a minority sect of Christianity such as when the Anglicans persecuted the Baptists in England.
You know, if you consult the Federalist Papers…
Oh fuck it. You’re a moron.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
November 20, 2007 at 4:20
mikey said,
November 20, 2007 at 4:00
Umm. Yeah. That’s why most of us have gone to make dinner, watch football, go upstairs and see if that babe across the way might forget to close her blinds again, or gone downstairs to the neighbors to try and figure out who the hot babe that shows up every now and then is.
‘Cause this is more than boring, it’s painful…
mikey
I’m getting the most wicked deja vu ever. Didn’t each of us type these exact same comments on a Sadly, No! thread a year or two ago?
Smiling Mortician said,
November 20, 2007 at 4:21
Guys, don’t you see? Bastion Booger . . .
[dramatic pause]
is Gavin!!
{/Charlton Heston Soylent-green voice]
Bastion Booger said,
November 20, 2007 at 4:22
I’m the Booger.
John O said,
November 20, 2007 at 4:23
BB, can you explain to us in a shorter version why Glenn is so upset about the butt-sex, and how it relates to his upsetness about having, or not having,as it were, guns?
Just so you know, some liberals consider guns extensions of the Freudian penis, meaning, let me try to boil it down for you, that to some libtards a gun makes up for their lack of manhoodishness.
It’s a tough one for me. I have trouble connecting the two, from an analytical, intellectual and historical point of view.
John O said,
November 20, 2007 at 4:25
Just for the record, if it’s Gavin, I’m going to be one pissed off Mofo.
Pay this no attention, BB.
g said,
November 20, 2007 at 4:25
I find it hard to take seriously a guy who calls himself Booger.
Bastion Booger said,
November 20, 2007 at 4:31
Well you see, Glenn as a traditional American and a conservative is upset about homosexual sex because America was founded on Judeo-Christian religion and has always been primarily a Christian nation. Our Declaration of Independence, Constitution and Bill of Rights was based on the Bible, and according to the Bible and the laws of early America homosexuality is illegal and is sinful. He is upset about not being allowed to own guns because the second amendment of our Constitution says, “A well regulated millitia being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall NOT BE INFRINGED.” Thomas Jefferson himself once said,”Let every man be armed”. Owning guns is not only the right of every law abiding American Citizen, it is their Constitutional duty. That is why Glenn is upset, at the destruction of tradional American values and patriotism.
Righteous Bubba said,
November 20, 2007 at 4:34
I still don’t believe he’s a rabbi.
Bastion Booger said,
November 20, 2007 at 4:35
I never said I was a Rabbi.
Bastion Booger said,
November 20, 2007 at 4:37
I’m actually a security guard at a hospital.
mikey said,
November 20, 2007 at 4:40
Oh, jeezus christ’s tits in a mason jar.
Are you people still engaging this idiot?
When are you going to figure out that:
a. You are being played.
b. Not interesting, not funny.
c. Writing tends to seek the lowest common denominator. This is not just stupid and painful, it is ugly writing.
d. Why do you think anybody wants to read this bullshit? Take it offline, you wanna engage something as stupid and illiterate as “Booger”
e. It calls itself booger. What other information do you need?
mikey
Arky - Cthulusexual said,
November 20, 2007 at 4:41
Ya’ll quit picking on Booger.
Sorry couldn’t resist.
John O said,
November 20, 2007 at 4:43
Thanks for clearing that all up, BB. Here I was thinking the overall tone of our founding documents was kind of a, “How about we leave the Church out of it” sort of screed.
But what do I know. My blog is only Jr. H.S. reading level.
But I’m still a little unclear about one thing. At one point you say, “I am a part of the unorganized militia, which is made up of all able bodied male citizens ages 18-45.”
But then you say, “A well regulated millitia being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall NOT BE INFRINGED.”
So are you “unorganized,” or “well regulated?”
Certainly you have to admit there is a difference.
John O said,
November 20, 2007 at 4:44
You’re right, mikey, and I apologize.
I’m being played, I suspect mostly.
Normally, I wouldn’t fall for such moronitude, but it is so pervasive these days it is easy to get sucked in…
Bastion Booger said,
November 20, 2007 at 4:48
The well regulated part is relevant only in a time of invasion or rebellion when the State governments call up all able bodied males. Notice the comma in the middle of the second amendment. The second part relates to all times, such as regardless of the situation in the country it is a constitutional right for Americans to keep and bear arms, and it shall not be infringed. The unorganized millitia deals with the present when all able bodied males are not mobilized because we haven’t been called up. The well regulated millitia is after we are called up by the State governments. But regardless of whether we are called we are still all millitia.
John O said,
November 20, 2007 at 4:51
BB, I gotta go with mikey now.
You’re either toying with me, or are so stupid as to represent the general GOP voting bloc.
I’m done with you, since you just represented a comma as a doctrine.
Bastion Booger said,
November 20, 2007 at 4:53
The comma part is true, look up second amendment on wikipedia.
MCH said,
November 20, 2007 at 4:58
Apparently Websense has been dutifully and rightly protecting my employer’s servers from packets from the likes of BB. Tis a shame, as the bland earnestness is refreshing in a non-Gary model troll.
Oh, the things I’ve been missing. *sniff* At least Reynoldswraphat is still the same ol douchelord. Don’t go on changin’ now, Glenny.
noen said,
November 20, 2007 at 5:01
Can we get some real trolls to play with now?
MCH said,
November 20, 2007 at 5:02
mikey, I don’t think JohnO’s being played; I think he’s engaging the ur-Stupid. It’s so deadpan and exhibits such pitch-perfect wingnut capitalization (varying with the mood) that it would take a player of sublime subtlety to pull off. Surely such art would have revealed itself by now? A phrase too clever, a bridge too far? (A glass of Tempranillo too much for me?) Meh…
I do love this legislatoresque phrase, though: “The comma part is true.” Oh, but thy colons are false!
John O said,
November 20, 2007 at 5:06
LOL, MCH. About the comma and colon, as it were.
But I’m still embarrassed about engaging teh stupid. mikey is right about that.
I have a tough time with “letting things go.” Not Dan Collins tough time, just normal tough time.
It’s confessionally perverse fun for me. Which is to say there isn’t much question I need to get a life. I mean, who cares about this politics stuff?
Bastion Booger said,
November 20, 2007 at 5:07
Why is it that liberals place such great emphasis on the first amendment ie Freedom of Speech ( such as during a kooky anti-war protest) and yet show an utter disregard and even disdain for the second amendment when it is the second amendment that ensures that all of are other rights remain?
John O said,
November 20, 2007 at 5:15
Ewoks will dominate against any force, ever.
g said,
November 20, 2007 at 5:29
You know, I’m totally not interested in what the fellow with the crusty nostrils has to say.
I am bummed today. Something very bad happened this weekend, and I also learned about something bad that happened a short while ago.
A really wonderful young man - high school sophomore; smart, athletic, nice kid - who’s a little younger than my kid, but hangs out with some of the same people - was running on the track at the local school and had a heart attack. Yes. A high schooler. He has been in the hospital unconscious ever since. Now he is havig a real crisis in his lungs. The family is devastated.
Then, just after learning about that, we were riding around town and heard on the radio about a big street closure in Mid-City due to a traffic fatality overnight. Some jerk ran a red light at high speed and put 5 people in the hospital, some critical, and one person died.
This morning I learned that the fatality was a gifted young woman who worked at an arts organization I am very familiar with. I didn’t know her directly, but I know many of her colleagues, and they are in total shock.
Life sucks.
J— said,
November 20, 2007 at 5:48
For all you professional wrestling fans: Bastian Booger.
STH said,
November 20, 2007 at 5:56
Yep, it sure does, g. I’m sorry about what happened. Nothing anybody can say to make that right.
Snorghagen said,
November 20, 2007 at 6:22
My sympathies, g. That’s pretty grim stuff.
Incidentally, ‘Bastion Booger’ is very probably Saul. I think he’s getting hungry for pie.
M. Bouffant said,
November 20, 2007 at 6:33
g, that sure nuff sucks. Double sucks, actually. We all got troubles. I hope something nice/good happens to you soon.
Mary Ruppert said,
November 20, 2007 at 10:33
No he didn’t. What he actually said was, “It is better to die as a Frenchman then to live as a slave!”
Xenos said,
November 20, 2007 at 13:09
They are the only way to protect the citizenry from a tyrannical government. When the people are unarmed they are slaves. When they are armed they are FREEMEN!
Oh god, not another Dune reference.
Armed white Arabs from space — aaieeeeh!
Hysterical Woman said,
November 21, 2007 at 6:25
I don’t want to have to use a gun to get my rights. It’s not like I’ll help. If I try to have a march to protest the president (pretend its Hillary) and the government doesn’t allow it, if I pull out a gun they can just shoot me down and call me a terrorist.