11
Secrets Of A Professional Writer Revealed
I don’t know what got into me. Perhaps it’s the cold and gray weather here today in DC. But the next thing I knew I was wandering around Pajamas Media, clicking on the blogroll, when I hit pay dirt. Well, rather I hit a big lump in the dirt named James Hudnall. Hudnall is a “professional writer with over 20 years of experience.”
“Wow!” I thought. This guy must write real good. And he do.
So, Sadly, No!sers, today we are going to have a master class in writing, taught by Mr. Hudnall himself, and if you pay close attention, you too can be a Pajamas Media blogger. Let’s start with a post he calls “Scary,” a title that carefully and subtly signals that liberals are the subject of the post:
The day will come, someday in the future . . .
One hallmark of a professional writer is, of course, that he frequently repeats himself. Repetition is the secret to good writing.
. . . where they will look at the people of today and think they were crazy.
Ambiguous pronouns are also frequently used by professional writers. They encourage confusion.
Kind of like we do looking back at Nazi Germany or the Spanish Inquisition.
“Crazy” is surely the word that comes to mind when I think of the Nazis and the Inquisition. Well actually “wild and crazy.”
Maybe this is not as bad . . .
But it’s still close enough to compare to the Nazis.
. . . but the very idea of calling CO² a pollution . . .
A secret trick of the trade used by professional writers is to substitute words — like “pollution” for “pollutant” — if the first six letters are exactly the same.
. . . when it’s a natural process of nature . . .
Remember that repetition is your friend, as in “natural process of nature.”
. . . is nothing short of wacko.
Now, as Mr. Hudnall amply demonstrates, a good writer does not simply have to say something well; he also has to say something intelligent. And that Hudnall certainly does. Who could possibly disagree with his point that Al Gore and all those other liberal global-warming boo-hooers are almost as bad as Hitler and Torquemada for failing to realize that if something like carbon dioxide is naturally produced then its okay to produce as much of it as we can? You know, like methane and carbon monoxide and sulfur dioxide and wildfires and floods and sewage. Likewise, if eating one hamburger is natural, then eating five hamburgers is no problem at all. The possibilities here are immense.
UPDATE by Clif: Oh good grief. Hudnall wil just not learn. He posted a “reply” to our post in which he tries to defend himself and comes up with this astonishing example of wingnut science (including another reference to CO² — carbon monoxide squared):
Human output of CO² is minuscule compared to nature. A couple of volcanic eruptions can easily outdo all of the 20th century’s output.
Human activities release more than 130 times the amount of CO2 emitted by volcanoes–the equivalent of more than 8,000 additional volcanoes like Kilauea (Kilauea emits about 3.3 million tonnes/year)! (Gerlach et. al., 2002)
But I suppose the United States Geological Survey has been co-opted by secret agents working for Al Gore and just made up these figures. . .
jim said,
November 11, 2007 at 0:34
jim said,
November 11, 2007 at 0:35
[ head explodes ]
tb said,
November 11, 2007 at 0:37
I are a riter to!
Some Guy said,
November 11, 2007 at 0:38
Daffodils are a natural process of nature. Go chew on a few.
Water is a natural process of nature, so go ahead and chug five gallons a day.
Hysterical Woman said,
November 11, 2007 at 0:49
20 years of placing the letters on the church sign does not make you a writer.
Moominpapa said,
November 11, 2007 at 0:49
And now the algebra lesson:
James Hudnall = stupid fat fuck
lame man said,
November 11, 2007 at 0:50
The possibilities here are immense.
And the options are large.
J— said,
November 11, 2007 at 0:52
The Spanish Inquisition: Unexpected? Yes. Crazy? No. Send in the nuns!
MrWonderful said,
November 11, 2007 at 0:53
“The day will come some day in the future where they will look at the people of today…”
Clif, you forgot to mention that if it’s good to use the word “day” once in a sentence, it’s three times better to use it three times, I say, three times, in the same sentence.
Also, referring to a “day” as “where” is a prime example of something who is good in a good way, which is good.
Nylund said,
November 11, 2007 at 0:53
Oh, oh! I wanna play this logic game too!
If C02 occurs naturally, then we can cause as much C02 as we want.
Therefore, if death happens naturally, then we can cause as much death as we want as well!
Yay! Killing sprees for everyone!
Naturally, this is the natural logic that naturally appears naturally from nature, and those disagreeing people who disagree are simply crazed people who are crazy like those inquisiting librul nazified inquistor nazis.
nightjar said,
November 11, 2007 at 0:54
I think the terrible wingnut writers are very bad.
Paddy Mac said,
November 11, 2007 at 0:56
“The very idea of calling Pantload a pollution…”, no that’s not it. “The very idea of calling Pantloaders ‘writers’…”, yeah, that’s closer.
Niles said,
November 11, 2007 at 0:58
“but the very idea of calling CO² a pollution, when it’s a natural process of nature, is nothing short of wacko.”
Well, then by that definition, what would be considered a pollutant? It sounds like you’d have to limit it to elements produced in laboratories by man. Because anything else is technically part of nature, right?
Of course, if we want to be charitable, we could agree that co2 is a [product of] a natural process of nature, such as respiration. But the CO2 that we’re concerned about is not a product of a natural process, it comes from driving, etc etc.
Good lord, why am I arguing with these people?
Dan Coyle said,
November 11, 2007 at 1:01
The day will come when James Hudnall finally finds an artist who doesn’t know he screwed his previous artists out of payment, and they’ll draw comics for him.
Snorghagen said,
November 11, 2007 at 1:03
Magnificent.
Hudnall’s masterful reflections on the future bring to mind the stirring words of The Amazing Kreskin in the opening scene of the majestic Plan 9 from Outer Space a half-century ago:
We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives. And remember my friend, future events such as these will affect you in the future.
I am proud that this great country has produced such great minds capable of such great thoughts in such a great country such as this. It’s great.
dan b said,
November 11, 2007 at 1:10
James Hudnall = teh awesome. Among his many works:
“Metallica. (1) 1993. Rockit Comics/Malibu. Art: Genre: Music/Biography. (Note: Only one issue of a three issue mini-series came out due to the band deciding they didn’t want a comic about them after all. They approved the scripts and art, but for some reason, they forced Malibu to cancel the series.)”
Snorghagen said,
November 11, 2007 at 1:10
Oops – the Amazing Criswell, not the Amazing Kreskin.
I bet Kreskin wishes he’d thought of those lines first.
RandomObserver said,
November 11, 2007 at 1:12
Clearly James Hudnall is clearly more smarter than we.
Marita said,
November 11, 2007 at 1:20
. . . but the very idea of calling CO² a pollution . . .
The wingnut has confused me. Why is he squaring carbon monoxide?
Carl Sagan said,
November 11, 2007 at 1:24
Nuclear explosions are natural as well (see, e.g., the Sun; other stars, etc.) . . . Just saying.
J. Hudnall Althouse, Esq. said,
November 11, 2007 at 1:25
Whoever thought it was funny to use my name and funny likeness to post at this funny blog without my express permission will not be laughing when I sue your funny ISP into non-existence.
Gundamhead said,
November 11, 2007 at 1:28
Oh great, another wingnut “intellectual” who writes like he never graduated high school. What does it take to NOT get on Pajamas Media’s blogroll anyway?
Snorghagen said,
November 11, 2007 at 1:33
One of Hudnall’s commenters complains about big government:
If that ever happened these poor guys would be bankrupted.
fluffybunnyfeet said,
November 11, 2007 at 1:34
“Oh great, another wingnut “intellectual” who writes like he never graduated high school. What does it take to NOT get on Pajamas Media’s blogroll anyway?”
Enough judgment, brains & maturity to score in a balk-line game, perhaps…
Arky said,
November 11, 2007 at 1:35
Word Warrior?
Bwahahaha! [Falls out of chair]
Smiling Mortician said,
November 11, 2007 at 1:37
James Hudnall is precious and special and I’ll cherish him from this point forward forever into the future because of his knowledgeable wisdom in terms of knowing things that he’s wise about, which is why I am absolutely in awe of his awesome awesomeness. Clif, I am really grateful that you brought him to our attention because I appreciate it and I can’t thank you enough.
J.H. said,
November 11, 2007 at 1:38
Shitting is also a natural process of nature, that’s why I do it whenever the urge takes me.
owlbear1 said,
November 11, 2007 at 1:38
Hey Jimmy, I got a natural process for ya!
Come here let me show it to you.
Ok now, open wide…
stogie said,
November 11, 2007 at 1:50
No, James, “a pollution” is what was on your bedsheets the morning after you watched the Hannah Montana marathon.
J.H. said,
November 11, 2007 at 1:51
Would it be wrong to call him Jabba the Hud?
dan b said,
November 11, 2007 at 2:00
“Would it be wrong to call him Jabba the Hud?”
to paraphrase Crazy Peggy Nooners, it would be wrong of us not to.
kiwihopeful said,
November 11, 2007 at 2:03
I hate to bring out the Billy Madison, but after reading through a couple of his posts, all I can say is:
“Mr. Hudnall, what you’ve just posted is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever read. At no point in your rambling, incoherent blog post were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in the blogosphere is now dumber for having read it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.”
mat said,
November 11, 2007 at 2:06
This Hudnall, he ain’t just writin’ good, he’s also one heckuva scientist. Pay no mind to his confusion with subscripts/superscripts in his scientific notation; I mean, hey, Einstein was always fuckin’ that crap up too. Great minds can’t trifle with the petty placement of digits in equations whilst they are unlocking the magical mysteries of the physical universe.
Who’d a thunk these Pantload Media types were such polymathic wunderkinds?
What else can this tub of lard do? Talk to the dead? Play world class squash? Speak in tongues? Kick ass in Kung Fu? Cook like a master chef? My god, such diverse talent in one man!
He’s like James Bond, but fatter.
DEMIZE! said,
November 11, 2007 at 2:07
Yes,taxing farts,that is the logical extension of govt.regulating pollutants.This will of course occur in the famous”House of Farts”The mind it boggles.
Ann Althouse said,
November 11, 2007 at 2:09
James Hudnall is making sense.
M. Bouffant said,
November 11, 2007 at 2:10
20 yrs. of writing comic books for an off-brand publisher? Nice hair-do, fat boy!! Who could have suspected that the “New Media Paradigm” of Pantload Media would be semi-literate ignoramuses & links to the AP?
Now that I’ve connected to the thread, I heard on CNN that Troy Williamson will be paid for the game he missed to organize/attend his grandmother’s funeral. Way to go, Bradrocket, your bringing this to the nation’s attention turned it around!!
jcricket said,
November 11, 2007 at 2:15
Taxing farts. Sounds like a good plan to me. Think of all the bar stools that can provide greater service than acting as a foundation for many pounds of flab after a long day at work, or a longer day of unemployment. Counting meters can be attached to measure both frequency and toxicity.
Say! The next place Pantloads plans to have his “bloggers convention” should be bringing in some *nice* tax revenues if they can be outfitted with said meters before the convention.
Just musing a little bit here.
jcricket said,
November 11, 2007 at 2:16
Counting meters. Yes — I too, follow the first rule of good writing.
Syndicalist said,
November 11, 2007 at 2:16
The Word Warrior should sue for peace.
Candy said,
November 11, 2007 at 2:21
What a pig. And I”m not talking about his appearance,
Disclaimer: I’m extremely drunk. I’ve had a lot of whisky, and typing is challenging. But I was thinking about veterans day tomorrow, and the fact that some of the veteran’s groups who are hoping for peace and an end to this ridiculous war have been banned from the parades tomorrow: peace
Listening to Pearl Jam and feeling bitter. I think I should go to bed.
How long must she stand
Before the ground, it gives way
To an endless fall
She can feel this
War on her face
Stars on her pillow
Folding in darkness
Begging for slumber
I’m not blind
I can see it coming
Looks like lightning
In my child’s eye
I’m not frantic
I can feel it coming
Violently shakes
My body
Her son’s slanted
Always giving her
the sideways eye
An empty chair where dad sits
How loud can silence get?
And mom, she reassures
To contain him
But it’s becoming a lie
She tells herself
And everyone else
Father is risking
His life for our freedoms
I’m not blind
I can see it coming
Looks like lightning
In my childs eye
I’m not frantic
I can feel it coming
Darling you’ll save me
If you save yourself
Click here to return to my Pearl Jam lyrics page
The lyrics are Copyright their respective owners.
Arky said,
November 11, 2007 at 2:23
“The possibilities here are immense.”
Are you people going to leave that sentence of words hanging suspended in the air like that?
The Disgruntled Chemist said,
November 11, 2007 at 2:33
C-O-squared? Wha?
He may be a professional writeificator, but he’s no scientician!
The Disgruntled Chemist said,
November 11, 2007 at 2:34
Shit! Marita said it like ten comments into the thread.
I suck and she is awesome and et cetera. Oops.
Marita said,
November 11, 2007 at 2:40
Disgruntled Chemist, I appreciate your declaration of my awesomeness, but I dispute your claims of self-suckitude. If this strange man is going to mangle chemistry so badly, I don’t think we can write enough comments mocking him. Everyone should be participating.
Snorghagen said,
November 11, 2007 at 2:42
Ain’t it the truth!
Hudnall’s main area of expertise is climate science, but he also has extensive knowledge of maritime law, energy resource exploration, nutrition, European politics, nosepicking, and many other challenging topics.
Here are just a few of his many trenchant comments:
We are part of nature, therefore whatever we do is a product of nature and therefore, natural. There is no such thing as unnatural.
Whenever any kind of disaster happens, its easy to blame it on something.
Endless nimrods come out of the woodwork issuing edicts about the dangers of poppycock and horse feathers.
And let’s be clear, there is a lot more land where human beings don’t live, then places where we are. More humans live in cities. Cities take up a small amount of land compared to everything else.
I could have found more of these, but my brain cells were shutting down fast.
The Disgruntled Chemist said,
November 11, 2007 at 2:42
Peer review works again!
Arky said,
November 11, 2007 at 2:52
So. The picture in the Blaaargh! (Snort) thread. That’s a shot taken during J the Hud’s colonscopy?
mdhatter said,
November 11, 2007 at 2:53
It’s sort of like drowning by drinking too much water.
Some Guy said,
November 11, 2007 at 2:56
You don’t really drown, mdhatta’. The water enters your system faster then your system can flush it out, and your saline levels get fucked to hell, and your cells shut down and rupture.
Linus said,
November 11, 2007 at 2:59
We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives. And remember my friend, future events such as these will affect you in the future.
That was the very first thing that I thought of when I read that line.
MzNicky said,
November 11, 2007 at 3:00
Hey, I’ve been a professional writer for 21 years! Eat it, Hud-boy!
I’ve given “F’s” to better undergraduate writing students’ work than this steaming pile o’ errors.
Also:
Gundamhead wonders:
What does it take to NOT get on Pajamas Media’s blogroll anyway?
Talent? Intelligence? A sense of self-respect? Sentience? Decency? A smattering of knowledge about the world and how it works?
Snorghagen said,
November 11, 2007 at 3:01
Ain’t it the truth.
Hudnall has vast knowledge not only of climate science, but also of maritime law, energy resource exploration, nutrition, European politics, nosepicking, and many other challenging topics.
Here are just a few of his many thought-provoking comments:
We are part of nature, therefore whatever we do is a product of nature and therefore, natural. There is no such thing as unnatural.
Whenever any kind of disaster happens, its easy to blame it on something.
Endless nimrods come out of the woodwork issuing edicts about the dangers of poppycock and horse feathers.
And let’s be clear, there is a lot more land where human beings don’t live, then places where we are. More humans live in cities. Cities take up a small amount of land compared to everything else.
I could have found more of these, but my cerebrum was starting to shrivel up.
Sammy Hagar said,
November 11, 2007 at 3:02
Only time will tell if he stands the test of time.
Rightwingsnarkle said,
November 11, 2007 at 3:04
Remember – without chemicals, life itself would be impossible.
As for this Hudnut feller, perhaps a little writing contest is in order – kind of like that annual “Write Like Papa Hemingway” extravaganza.
1. Pick a topic
2. String words together into sentences; sentences into paragraphs; paragraphs into essays
3. Profit!
Snorghagen said,
November 11, 2007 at 3:05
Hmmm. Some of my comments are getting filtered out. Maybe Hudnall has extraordinary cyber-powers I did not foresee.
Slippytoad said,
November 11, 2007 at 3:06
These homeschooled geniuses, they are cruelly bound by the abuttals of such lumpy constructs as syntax, grammar, and sentence structure. Their brilliance it shines through the constricting gaps in the letters of the words, that are but pale figments of the gossamer ideas in whose place they stand upon our crude mortal plane. Never let it be said that . . . aw, fuck it. The guy’s a bloated lump of goo. Maybe he’s smart enough to not choke to death on his cheetos.
Snorghagen said,
November 11, 2007 at 3:14
(Let me try this a third time…)
Here’s a small sampling of Hudnall’s keen insights, from his blog archives:
We are part of nature, therefore whatever we do is a product of nature and therefore, natural. There is no such thing as unnatural.
Whenever any kind of disaster happens, its easy to blame it on something.
Endless nimrods come out of the woodwork issuing edicts about the dangers of poppycock and horse feathers.
And let’s be clear, there is a lot more land where human beings don’t live, then places where we are. More humans live in cities. Cities take up a small amount of land compared to everything else.
I could have found plenty more of these, but my cerebrum was starting to shrivel up.
Marita said,
November 11, 2007 at 3:16
There is no such thing as unnatural.
Tell it to the judge, pal.
gbear said,
November 11, 2007 at 3:22
Hudnall sounds like he got his writing style from Criswell, the narrator of Ed Wood’s ‘Plan Nine from Outer Space’. Minus the wacky charm, of course.
Krassen said,
November 11, 2007 at 3:25
Oooops, I am afraid Sadly No! got punked here… This guys smells like a JonSwift/Colbert character. take a look at this from his blog, that can’t fureal:
I can’t help mocking science claims, either. First they tell us that electrons orbit a nucleus like a particle. Then they (de Broglie, among others) tell us that the electrons are like waves. What gives? My physicist friends tell me I should learn the math, just as my social science friends tell me that “studies,” not “science,” make tentative claims that can build toward consensus. But even Einstein was proven wrong on some issues– is Al Gore smarter than Einstein? That usually shuts my friends up.
Simba B said,
November 11, 2007 at 3:28
If he isn’t for real, aren’t Pajamas Media the ones that got punked then? Just sayin’. I mean, I don’t think they’ll find the humor in it that we would.
gbear said,
November 11, 2007 at 3:31
Ooops. I should have read down first. Snorghagen beat me to the Criswell comparison hours ago.
glorified jughound said,
November 11, 2007 at 3:31
I too wonder when the future people in the future where they look back to the past which is for us the present although when Hudnall wrote this is now the past and for the people of the future it’s the present when they look at the past whether they wonder how past people (i.e. our present) let people like Hudnall carry the day and didn’t think or act enough about the future enough to not let our natural processes of nature get ruined with natural chemicals produced unnaturally.
gbear said,
November 11, 2007 at 3:33
Argh!!! Now Krassen beat me to the Ooops. Some days it just doesn’t pay to get out of bed.
InsaneInTheCheneyBrain said,
November 11, 2007 at 3:38
“That usually shuts my friends up.”
They stop talking because they’ve realized they don’t want to be your friend any longer.
Snorghagen said,
November 11, 2007 at 3:39
That’s exactly what I used to think! But I was so much older then – I’m younger than that now.
gbear said,
November 11, 2007 at 3:45
I find farts to be taxing.
Linus said,
November 11, 2007 at 3:45
Of course, at this very moment we are in “the future,” relative to when Hudnall wrote his little musings. THINK ABOUT IT.
Jon H said,
November 11, 2007 at 3:48
“What does it take to NOT get on Pajamas Media’s blogroll anyway?”
The intelligence to not seek a place on that blogroll. Which is a very, very low bar indeed.
Gundamhead said,
November 11, 2007 at 3:52
“This guys smells like a JonSwift/Colbert character. take a look at this from his blog, that can’t fureal”
I don’t know, that really doesn’t sound any more stupid than quite a few supposedly serious wingnuts that have appeared on this sight. Frankly, unless they give you some sort of obvious hint, a parody of wingnuts is impossible to tell from the real thing.
Sammy Hagar said,
November 11, 2007 at 3:57
Of course, at this very moment we are in “the future,” relative to when Hudnall wrote his little musings. THINK ABOUT IT.
Where’s my atomic toaster?
Righteous Bubba said,
November 11, 2007 at 3:57
Sammy you ass.
glorified jughound said,
November 11, 2007 at 4:01
a parody of wingnuts is impossible to tell from the real thing.
The parodies will lack the required quotient of ‘bitter, miserable and creepy’.
ignobility said,
November 11, 2007 at 4:09
I think Hudnall is Pastor Swank’s illegitimate son.
Spartakus said,
November 11, 2007 at 4:09
i has a wurd prossesser for righting!
MrWonderful said,
November 11, 2007 at 4:13
Fluffybunnyfeet–
Maybe. But I say that any boob can a ball in a pocket. And I call that sloth.
MrWonderful said,
November 11, 2007 at 4:14
Shit.
Can PUT a ball in a pocket.
And I haven’t even started drinking yet.
Left_Wing_Fox said,
November 11, 2007 at 4:30
As both salt and water are vital to the human diet, I recommend James go on a steady diet of seawater. The truth of the fact that we think we believe this will be a good notion of an idea should be put to motion in the immediate now for future benefits in time.
Qetesh the Abyssinian said,
November 11, 2007 at 4:34
We are part of nature, therefore whatever we do is a product of nature and therefore, natural. There is no such thing as unnatural.
So if I tell Hudders to eat shit and die, it’s quite okay, because it’s natural? Kewl!
Whenever any kind of disaster happens, its easy to blame it on something.
Yah, of course. Our previous ancestors in years gone by blame god; we use science to work out who’s really at fault. The point here is…?
Endless nimrods come out of the woodwork issuing edicts about the dangers of poppycock and horse feathers.
I speak here as President of the Endless Nimrod Benevolent Society, and I’m sure all the other Endless Nimrods will agree with me when I say, on behalf of my Nomrodian colleagues with whom I am in complete agreement, that we Nimrods, nay, we Benevolent Endless Nimrods…
Wait, what was I saying? Oh, yes. We Endless Nimrods will continue issuing our edicts, particularly about the dangerous danger inherent in the exceedingly danger-ridden poppycock and horsefeathers. Indeed, you’d be surprised at the damage a loose poppycock could do in the world. And there’s nothing we like better than issuing edicts. I could issue edicts all day long. The technical latin term for that, in latin, is Nimrodus Edictus. Who is a word that we techical latin Nimrods use.
And let’s be clear, there is a lot more land where human beings don’t live, then places where we are. More humans live in cities. Cities take up a small amount of land compared to everything else.
Indeed. And because our atmosphere (where we in the technical latin nimrod trade refer to as “air”) is sucked straight out of the ground, there’s plenty for everybody! Hurrah!
/knobheadedness, with a relieved swipe at the sweating forehead
Man, this is a lot harder than it looks. And I can’t even manage to carry off some of the more egregious crapperies. What must the inside of this guy’s head feel like?
Qetesh the Abyssinian said,
November 11, 2007 at 4:35
What must the inside of this guy’s head feel like?
{Waiting for someone to say “squishy”}
Pablo said,
November 11, 2007 at 4:36
My woodwork doesn’t contain any nimrods. Are nimrods some kind of reinforcing material or something? I know they’re not a pollution, considering that wood is natural.
Simba B said,
November 11, 2007 at 4:37
It feels natural, Qetesh. Everything is natural, remember?
cokane said,
November 11, 2007 at 4:43
this guy is like a poorly written imitation of the Simpsons’ comic book guy
Arky said,
November 11, 2007 at 4:43
You…you don’t suppose cHudnall is a naturist do you? [shudder]
Love and Rockets said,
November 11, 2007 at 4:55
We are part of nature, therefore whatever we do is a product of nature and therefore, natural. There is no such thing as unnatural.
We are so going to sue his ass.
Snorghagen said,
November 11, 2007 at 4:55
I’m afraid so. He likes to display his endless nimrod.
Matt T. said,
November 11, 2007 at 4:56
Endless nimrods come out of the woodwork issuing edicts about the dangers of poppycock and horse feathers.
Hey, man, that’s not cool. My uncle died from inhaling horsefeathers. He never screwed around with poppycock, though he was bad to get into the balderdash from time to time. His wife died from acute flapdoodle. That was sad.
And Krassan, this guy reads like half the letters that are published in the Athens Boner-Herald. Apparently, “Scientists think they’re such smarty britches, but Einstein believed in God shooting craps or something like that, and anyway, you can’t ‘measure’ love, which scientists don’t do because they don’t believe in it, so therefore global warming is a fraud for scientists to get stinking, filthy rich off grants” is considered a good argument for your average Conservative And Thus Real American.
And for what it’s worth, I only have 18 years’ experience as a writer, but that’s only if you count the last three years of not writing, which I haven’t (much). So let’s say 15, which is natural and, thus, within nature and part of the natural process, naturally.
RobW said,
November 11, 2007 at 5:00
Endless nimrods come out of the woodwork issuing edicts about the dangers of poppycock and horse feathers.
I have no words for this. I want to engrave it on a plaque.
gbear said,
November 11, 2007 at 5:03
I wonder if he thinks teh gay is natural, not that I want to find out…
Some Guy said,
November 11, 2007 at 5:07
Describing the war as a battle between “light and dark,” Bush said, “If you kill people to achieve a political objective or to advance an ideology … you are nothing but evil. …”
*head/desk* *repeat as needed*
DEMIZE! said,
November 11, 2007 at 5:10
Enough horsefeathers and poppycock and your farts would be taxing as well.
g said,
November 11, 2007 at 5:13
What’s wrong with Poppycock?
g said,
November 11, 2007 at 5:14
And I like the idea of, if something’s natural it’s not pollution.
Shit’s natural too, so we don’t need to worry about sewage spills.
DEMIZE! said,
November 11, 2007 at 5:20
Oxygen is natural,fire is natural.I suggest he try combining the two right away.Call it an experiment.
Ex-Fed said,
November 11, 2007 at 5:22
The great triumph of the wingnuts is that they have rendered it impossible to distinguish between real wingnuttia and parody of wingnuttia. Satire has been killed, revivified, and re-killed more times than Jason or Freddy Krueger — and no more prettily. I mean, really — if your friend was writing Pantload’s columns as a joke and asked you to review them, wouldn’t you say, “No, dude, you’ve got to make it WAY more subtle?”
Snorghagen said,
November 11, 2007 at 5:25
g wrote:
Damn! That’s a real product.
If I remember correctly, the word ‘poppycock’ comes from a Dutch phrase that means something like ‘mashed shit’.
Arky said,
November 11, 2007 at 5:28
Maybe at some point soon in the not too distant future Gay Patriot will investigate and perhaps inquire about the question to whit: Is cHudnall’s nimrod at all responsive a poppycock?
When GP has completed his finalized study of the query the people of tomorrow will look behind them at the people back there on the day before Tuesday and wonder at the marvels of a past that did not include questions about cHudnall’s penis propensities.
And then, they will have a drink of the fermented ale beverage called beer.
Just like me.
Me said,
November 11, 2007 at 5:30
but the very idea of calling CO² a pollution, when it’s a natural process of nature, is nothing short of wacko.
I hear tell that marijuana is a “natural process of nature”, naturally speaking. I wonder how fucknozzle feels about legalizing it?
Herr Doktor Bimler said,
November 11, 2007 at 5:33
And let’s be clear, there is a lot more land where human beings don’t live, then places where we are.
This is a valid point. If we all stood in one place, we would only cover the surface area of Zanzibar, leaving a lot of land which is not Zanzibar. I learned this from John Brunner so it must be true.
The only trouble is that I don’t want to go to Zanzibar. How about if we all stand somewhere else instead? Party at Mikey’s place!
FlipYrWhig said,
November 11, 2007 at 5:41
Endless nimrods come out of the woodwork issuing edicts about the dangers of poppycock and horse feathers.
It’s like a prim Victorian gentleman after a snifter of absinthe. And about a month of huffing industrial soot off chimneysweep lapels.
ignobility said,
November 11, 2007 at 5:44
Party at Mikey’s? I’ll bring that natural product of nature mentioned in the previous comment.
gbear said,
November 11, 2007 at 5:54
‘Maybe at some point soon in the not too distant future Gay Patriot will investigate and perhaps inquire about the question to whit: Is cHudnall’s nimrod at all responsive a poppycock?’
I think one of the tests they’ll have to run is the balderdash.
Some Guy said,
November 11, 2007 at 5:55
“Endless nimrods come out of the woodwork issuing edicts about the dangers of poppycock and horse feathers.”
Why would game hunters have edicts?
g said,
November 11, 2007 at 6:01
OK, y’all. I just had an awesome meal this afternoon.
Seems that after Katrina, many displaced residents of the Louisiana and Texas gulf coast who happen to be Vietnamese immigrants moved – quite logically – to other Vietnamese-American communities in the US, bringing their cultural heritage with them.
And so Orange County, CA has suddenly blossomed with examples that embody this exotic cultural heritage – the Vietnamese/Cajun Crab Boil restaurant.
You sit at a table covered with butcher paper. The first thing they put on your table is a roll of paper towels; the second thing is a cold beer. You order the seafood of your choice by the pound – shrimp, crawfish, lobster, or blue, king or dungeness crab. You pick from 3 choices of seasoning (Cajun, Lemon Pepper and Garlic). They boil it up and bring it to you in a plastic bag. There isn’t a single piece of cutlery on the table – you eat everything with your hands.
The experience leaves you smiling and satisfied. The table looks like a trainwreck when you’re done.
You can also get raw oysters and fried seafood, and there are sides.
Jonathan Gold wrote a much better review than I could.
It’s in the heart of Little Saigon, and almost everyone in the place was Vietnamese or Asian, except for us and one guy who sat at a table alone and went through a huge bag of mudbugs by himself and went away very satisfied.
Damn! It was good.
MzNicky said,
November 11, 2007 at 6:02
Of course, at this very moment we are in “the future,” relative to when Hudnall wrote his little musings. THINK ABOUT IT.
Linus: That’s so true. For example, I’m not the same person I was when I started typing this sentence. Might that mean that Hudnutt is now a completely different person than he was when he wrote that awful offal? Leave us hope so. And now I’m even a more different person than when I finished that first sentence!
DEMIZE! said,
November 11, 2007 at 6:04
#
Me said,
November 11, 2007 at 5:30
but the very idea of calling CO² a pollution, when it’s a natural process of nature, is nothing short of wacko.
“I hear tell that marijuana is a “natural process of nature”, naturally speaking. I wonder how fucknozzle feels about legalizing it?”
Fucknozzle is a fine fine word.May I use it?
MzNicky said,
November 11, 2007 at 6:06
You…you don’t suppose cHudnall is a naturist do you? [shudder]
Arky: Oh good lord.
Where’s my wine glass?
Kraftwerk said,
November 11, 2007 at 6:08
Poppycock and horse feathers
Nimrods Endless
Poppycock and horse feathers
Nimrods Endless
Rightwingsnarkle said,
November 11, 2007 at 6:11
Did you know that this Hudnut feller, “…has a major motion picture in development with Universal for his series The Psycho.”
Think about it – a major motion picture! In development!!!11!
Why, that’s like being a Vice Presidentat a bank!!1!
Qetesh the Abyssinian said,
November 11, 2007 at 6:11
Hey, leprosy is pretty natural, so it’s clearly good, right? Anybody out there like to drop a digit in fucknozzle’s* mega-cheeto-burger, in the interests of science?
*I too admire this word, and shall lard my conversation with it forthwith. Perhaps fifthwith.
Qetesh the Abyssinian said,
November 11, 2007 at 6:12
Hey, I’m sure I’ve got that album…
Qetesh the Abyssinian said,
November 11, 2007 at 6:16
And just apropos of the names, it reminds me of a brand of hair spray (no, not spray-on hair: a kind of liquid glue that turns hair into a helmet) that was previously available here in Oz in earlier years in the past. Probably the 60s in the past, not the current 60s mind you, but the previous 60s.
Anyway, are you ready? Okay, this big can of spray-glue-with-extra-ozone-eaters was marketed under the tres chic name of “Richard Hudnut”. God’s own truth. It still makes me snigger.
Snorghagen said,
November 11, 2007 at 6:16
In fairness to Word Warrior Hudnall, he is in favor of legalizing marijuana.
Kraftwerk #2 said,
November 11, 2007 at 6:22
We are standing here
Exposing ourselves
We are PJ Bloggers
We are PJ Bloggers
D. Sidhe said,
November 11, 2007 at 6:33
I am so late to this one, but I could not possibly let this go by:
20 years of placing the letters on the church sign does not make you a writer.
Hysterical Woman, can I buy you a drink?
Arky said,
November 11, 2007 at 6:33
If cHudnall is a naturist do you think he likes to flaunt his fucknozzle.
Arky said,
November 11, 2007 at 6:34
?
Al Einstein said,
November 11, 2007 at 6:46
Pay no mind to his confusion with subscripts/superscripts in his scientific notation; I mean, hey, Einstein was always fuckin’ that crap up too.
Fucking up? Hell no. I meant to do that.
Herr Doktor Butthead said,
November 11, 2007 at 7:00
You liberals are a bunch of morons.
SamFromUtah said,
November 11, 2007 at 7:08
You liberals are a bunch of morons.
Gheesh, these name-stealers can never spell. It’s morans.
gbear said,
November 11, 2007 at 7:08
How do you keep a troll occupied………………..?
x_eleven said,
November 11, 2007 at 7:10
“Maybe this is not as bad, but the very idea of calling CO² a pollution, when it’s a natural process, is nothing short of wacko.” Oy vey!
How can I get one of those professional writer’s jobs? After all, I can meet the qualifications in spades if this is any indication. “CO2″ is not a “pollution”, nor is it a “process”.
Ex-Fed said,
November 11, 2007 at 7:18
The more I think about it, the more I think that this guy’s graphic novels represent the perfect medium for wingnuttia. Most of their favorite points can be reduced to a monosyllabic four-color action signifier like WHAM! ZOOM! POW! The transition from four-color to the dark and sepia tones of graphic novelists perfectly signifies their heavy burden of self-seriousness. Plus, the jutting-titted women of the comics NEVER laugh at you or throw their drink on your favorite Members Only jacket or get a restraining order from a liberal judge.
Think of it! All of Town Hall could run bi-monthly in a booklet the size of an Archie & Jughead Digest. I bet the X-ray glasses in the back would sell even better; instead of the little drawings implying you can see through the skirts of the 1950s-era women, it could show you looking through the wall to see if the brown people in 5G are plotting to blow up the Chrysler building with semtex baked into those things they say are called “tamales.”
Herr Doktor Butthead said,
November 11, 2007 at 7:19
You liberals ARE POLLUTION!
Arky said,
November 11, 2007 at 7:21
How do you keep a troll occupied………………..?
(Open Monitor for answer)
Herr Doktor Bimler said,
November 11, 2007 at 7:24
It’s like a prim Victorian gentleman after a snifter of absinthe
Well dash my balders! You poltroons have the unmitigated gall — the effrontery, I say — to bruit about this poppycock and horse-feathers. Spasm, bring me my horse-whip. I propose to give these jackanapes a lesson in blogger civility.
lobbey said,
November 11, 2007 at 7:43
with playdo and bacon….
Arky said,
November 11, 2007 at 7:45
Responding to a review of your book on Amazon.com.
Pathetic, or just plain lame?
I also have a suspicious feeling of a hunch that he is the author of his wiki page.
Arky said,
November 11, 2007 at 7:51
I really must learn when to stop my inquiring research activities.
ahem said,
November 11, 2007 at 8:17
Unfortunately, none of it is in writing.
commie atheist said,
November 11, 2007 at 8:41
a parody of wingnuts
Is that like a murder of crows?
Anne Laurie said,
November 11, 2007 at 8:50
My uncle died from inhaling horsefeathers. He never screwed around with poppycock, though he was bad to get into the balderdash from time to time…
Matt T, I think I love you. Not only did this make me laugh, but I finally have an explanation for some of the more heavily pruned branches of my family tree that will make it past the profanity firewall.
commie atheist said,
November 11, 2007 at 8:51
Describing the war as a battle between “light and dark,” Bush said
Preznit give me turkee!!!!
Mandos said,
November 11, 2007 at 8:54
Michael Moore is fat.
Herr Doktor Bimler said,
November 11, 2007 at 8:54
a parody of wingnuts
Is that like a murder of crows?
Also
A Comedy of Errors;
A Bodyguard of Lies.
commie atheist said,
November 11, 2007 at 8:57
A Confederacy of Dunces (original name for Pajamas Media; alas, it was already taken)
commie atheist said,
November 11, 2007 at 8:59
Michael Moore is fat.
Yes, but James Hudnall is morbidly obese.
Lesley said,
November 11, 2007 at 9:05
Now, as Mr. Hudnall amply demonstrates, a good writer does not simply have to say something well; he also has to say something intelligent. And that Hudnall certainly does. Who could possibly disagree with his point that Al Gore and all those other liberal global-warming boo-hooers are almost as bad as Hitler and Torquemada for failing to realize that if something like carbon dioxide is naturally produced then its okay to produce as much of it as we can?
altogether now, fart in hudnall’s general direction. it’s natural gas, he can handle it.
hell, everything is natural!. the stuff that went into agent orange and the atomic bomb, for example. what’s our problem, anyway?
btw, it’s obvious, in a very large sammich kinda way, that mr. hudnall has no difficulty inhaling massive quantities of cheetos, so what’s Gavin’s problem? clearly, liberals have weaker plumbing systems.
Mandos said,
November 11, 2007 at 9:08
And?
Lesley said,
November 11, 2007 at 9:11
Word Warrior?
Bwahahaha! [Falls out of chair]
like these “people”
Lesley said,
November 11, 2007 at 9:12
and…
he should stop eating cheetos. (difficult to do, anyway, for a mouth breather.)
Mandos said,
November 11, 2007 at 9:15
What would this do?
Some Guy said,
November 11, 2007 at 9:22
…Man, now i want to go to Subway and get a 6″ cold cut combo with Cheetos. Mmmm… man. Nummy yummy. Hey, ya think they would mind if I broke in and helped myself?
Lesley said,
November 11, 2007 at 9:27
i almost wish bush would legislate a draft so some of these neocon fuckwits would be required to risk their necks. a few boxes containing their remains – extra wide to accommodate their inflated heads – returning home wouldn’t bother me a bit.
cruel to say, but fuck i am beyond caring anymore. i hate these people.
commie atheist said,
November 11, 2007 at 9:38
Yes, but James Hudnall is morbidly obese.
And?
Uh, really stupid?
Some Guy said,
November 11, 2007 at 9:43
Wouldn’t work, Lesley. They’d just get deferments, then blame liberals for being pussies and not wanting to get drafted.
Gavin M. said,
November 11, 2007 at 9:45
All:
It’s been a tough week in terms of Freepers and other trolls coming over to plant nasty stuff in comments, so I apologize, but I’m being a bit vigilant in moderating things that even seem to rub up against the basic no-assholishness policy (see posted policy re: personal info, threats, and all that).
Althouse is having another of her hissies about people using her name. Our reply, every time she does this, includes the fact that anyone is allowed to use anyone’s name they want here, if it’s done as satire and not maliciously — e.g., not as a way to fool people into thinking that somebody is saying things that they’re not really saying.
She seems determined to misunderstand this, which is fine, but I think it’s a good idea to restate it here, so that any new people who come by will know how things customarily work, etc.
Just a note in passing. G-
commie atheist said,
November 11, 2007 at 9:47
God, I am so sick of Althouse’s whining.
Some Guy said,
November 11, 2007 at 9:50
Oh, hey, speaking of Freepers, any news on the web-awards front regarding backlash and/or sour grapes from DUFUS? I expect they shall announce that the awards themselves are liberally biased, and no doubt THOUSANDS of votes for DUFUS were thrown out on dubious charges to make sure you won.
Personally, I think next year I’m backing The Sneeze, should he be nominated again.
Gavin M. said,
November 11, 2007 at 9:54
Oh, they already went through multiple false accusations of cheating, coupled with a Freeper-driven campaign to hack the poll software, plus almost any other kind of bad behavior you can imagine.
That’s part of why I’m so worn-out lately: all the monitoring of message boards and Freeper threads to see what they were trying to pull next.
It was a frickin’ life-lesson, that whole thing. A virtual zoo of Internet pathologies.
Qetesh the Abyssinian said,
November 11, 2007 at 10:19
Kraftwerk #2 said,
November 11, 2007 at 6:22
We are standing here
Exposing ourselves
We are PJ Bloggers
We are PJ Bloggers
I know I’ve got that album. I scare myself.
barbell said,
November 11, 2007 at 10:20
welp, the the fight continues in the forum against LOL, the troll who may or may not be PJ Comix, Dummie Funnies blogger who is PJ Gladnick in real life. See bio here. http://www.newsbusters.org/bios/p-j-gladnick.html
I’m convinced LOL and PJ are one and the same or in cahoots for reasons I can’t disclose in this forum as doing so could put me at risk (the fuckwit has begun stalking me).
If they are, whooee… I would love to write to the publications that pay PJ and expose his bullshit.
barbell said,
November 11, 2007 at 10:22
Re Althouse: that she would post a coy photo of herself from the seventies below a headline about Mailer’s death is so ridiculously narcissistic. Gods, I’m surprised the woman isn’t thrilled that people are using her nick in this forum. She loves attention.
pedestrian said,
November 11, 2007 at 10:43
Gods, I’m surprised the woman isn’t thrilled that people are using her nick in this forum. She loves attention.
You think she isn’t? She set up a Google auto alert that will email her any time someone types her name. She probably masturbates to our threads.
barbell said,
November 11, 2007 at 11:05
Having lived with an alcoholic narcissist who shares Althouse’s on-line persona and sex – (i.e. this person was female, highly educated, professionally employed, sexually fucked up), i’m familiar with the MO of Ann Althouse. She’s transparently pathetic.
mikey said,
November 11, 2007 at 11:07
Wow. I’m on the road. 154 comments, and gavin moderating into the early morning hours. I haven’t read them all, and I’m genuinely surprised that anne althouse’s breasts are causing any amount of fuss.
May I recommend a sammich?
Rock on, Sadlies….
mikey
N. Dless Nimrod said,
November 11, 2007 at 11:09
Beware the Ides of November.
And, of course, the twin dangers of poppycock and horse feathers.
barbell said,
November 11, 2007 at 11:10
This photo speaks volumes.
N. Dless Nimrod said,
November 11, 2007 at 11:10
But, mostly the Ides of November.
And Pakistanis, of course.
Poppy feathers are perfectly all right, but the other is, perhaps, best not discussed in polite company.
N. Dless Nimrod said,
November 11, 2007 at 11:12
Beware that, too. Especially unmarried women, and professional writers with more than 20 years experience in writing comic books.
Ann Althouse said,
November 11, 2007 at 11:23
Wow! All I wanted to do was share my vortex! What’s with the hostility against Althouse impersonation? I’m following the rules!
barbell said,
November 11, 2007 at 11:37
Ann would prefer you use the word “vagina.” “Vortex” has less sex appeal to the readers who fantasize “banging her at Altamont.”
owlbear1 said,
November 11, 2007 at 11:51
A 5 year old with an 8th grade reading level. But that was then and this is now.
M. Bouffant said,
November 11, 2007 at 12:01
Gavin & other estimable hosts:
Uh-oh. I was making some mock of the Divine Ms. A. at my very low-traffic blog, about her lack of humour on that very subject. (Hoping, of course, to piss her off & get some attention. Also, M. McArdle is not blogging, so I’ve no one else to pick on besides the usual collection of politicians.) Hope there’s no blowback in your direction, ’cause you know w/ her Google Herself Alert she’ll be all over it. (Talk about asking for it.)
I don’t follow the “threats” policy though. If people are posting under obvious pseudonyms & have no idea who or where the other one is, why can’t they make threats of physical violence? I know I’ve read a few threats of at least a bitch-slap directed against actual public figures here (Bill Kristol certainly makes the blood boil). Is it alright if one says, “I’d sure like to smack [name of wingnut] in the [body part of your choice]” as opposed to “I’m absolutely going to the business or place of residence of X, Y, or Z & slap his/her lights out?” Or are slap threats OK, but explicit mikey-like (in the sense of descriptive narrations of weaponry involved & potential damage to be done, not that mikey’s ever threatened anyone) threats of greater than slap violence not allowed? How ’bout when someone (probably on the other side of the continent from the threatened) offers to “take it outside?”
Not to make your part time gigs here any harder. Just food (or Chee-tos™) for thought.
barbell said,
November 11, 2007 at 12:27
I wouldn’t worry about it M. Bouffant. Ann didn’t react to the men who wrote the following comments, on her blog,
1. That picture…Oh my god. I think I boinked that woman at Altamont…
2. “If you had posted that as a photo of one of Charles Manson’s “family,” I wouldn’t have been a bit surprised.”
3. “you didn’t boink her in Altamont, you bonked her, with a cue.”
She got angry with the guy who wrote this, though:
“Wow, your were hot once. For how long? It has to be longer then just that one day the picture was taken.
Is the reason you never got married because guys saw that poster in your room and thought you were a lesiban [sic]?
Not his first paragraph, his second.
tommy yum said,
November 11, 2007 at 14:46
S,N! must referee the Grogan/Hudnall smackdown. Marie’ Jon’ can hold up the cards before each round.
Snorghagen said,
November 11, 2007 at 14:52
Barbell wrote:
There are publications that currently pay money to this guy? I’m not just joking, I’m genuinely surprised, given his inability to be funny and his general air of desperation. On his bio page, I notice that all references to employment as a humor writer are in past tense.
humbert dinglepencker said,
November 11, 2007 at 15:47
(rich three-part harmony)
Endless nimrods come out of the woodwork…and they stand…there!
(break)
(racing funk bass-line)
I’ll be your rooouuuunnnd the block,
I got your horsey-feathers and
Your poppycock…
Gavin M. said,
November 11, 2007 at 17:25
Well, it’s usually pretty obvious when it happens. There was someone awhile back, addressing Mikey, who was being all like, “Where do you live, so I can [do something to] you?” Mikey thought it was funny, which was very generous of him, but it wasn’t so funny coming from an unknown visitor who’d just appeared on the site.
As a rule, if someone isn’t genuinely trying to intimidate another person, it doesn’t come off as though they are. But the Freeper troll invasion made things a bit tougher re: new and unknown visitors. They like to plant things in comments and then gaspingly point to them as ‘evidence,’ and all sorts of things like that. They can also be genuinely malicious, trying to harm people in real life when they can’t win Internet sissy-fights. .
They seem to have gone on to other things, so I expect we’ll be back to normal soon. Until then, um, I certainly haven’t noticed anything untoward in anything you’ve said.
Comrade Rutherford said,
November 11, 2007 at 17:39
What about foofaraw?!
Won’t someone think of the foofaraw?
Along with poppycock and horsefeathers, foofaraw and balderdash are critical ingredients of ‘libertarian’ ‘writing’.
As in: “Global Warming: Balderdash or Foofaraw?’
Arky said,
November 11, 2007 at 17:40
Um. I’m sure I’m missing something but can’t you just post a little ed note that states “SN! is not responsible for the content of the comments and the ideas (such as they are) and opinions of the people writing them do not reflect those of SN!”?
Or even: “The intertoobs are a rough and tumble place. If your feelings are easily hurt turn off the computer and read a book.”
If I go to the Washington Post On-Line and call Charles Krauthammer a lying crap weasel whom I’d like to feed through a wood chipper so I could use him to fertilize my tomato plants,* it’s obnoxious and violent and possibly illegal but no one would say the Washington Post said it wants to mulch Up Chuck.
Just my not-fully caffeine fueled thoughts, but the idea that there is some sort of corporate responsibility relationship between the blog owner and the posters is just bullshit. Remember when GoneZo tried to foist that shit off on the US in order to “Protect the Children”?
*Note: The author of this post is not advocating the use of violence against conservative columnists or the use of conservative columnists as fertilizer. It would kill your plants anyways.
Ann Althouse said,
November 11, 2007 at 17:42
I am Ann Althouse and I did NOT approve this message!
Now shut up or I’ll sue you!!!
All of you!
Comrade Rutherford said,
November 11, 2007 at 17:46
So Anal T. House actually reads the comments here?
Syndicalist said,
November 11, 2007 at 18:02
We had the collective-noun discussion a while back, but I can’t remember what was decided on.
I guess I’m partial to a festering of wingnuts. Second place goes to an encrustation of wingnuts.
owlbear1 said,
November 11, 2007 at 18:06
Arky, if you put him through a woodchipper he won’t learn nothing.
Professor Fate said,
November 11, 2007 at 18:40
Mr. Hundall – here is an sealed chamber containing nothing but Carbon Dioxide – please enter and enjoy the natural process.
James Hudnall said,
November 11, 2007 at 18:47
Ouch, you got me. Those are some bad pull quotes.
I am guilty of not proofing my posts as much as I should. It’s a blog, after all. But I should do better. My only excuse is I’m really busy and I often don’t have a lot of time for blogging.
Even though this is a very insulting post, and even though a lot of rude people have come over to my blog to insult me personally (though anonymously), I thank you for this. I’m going to pay more attention now, as I should have done.
There’s no excuse for any of this. And it’s not representative of my work.
But then, you would know that if you knew my work. You seem to think I am some extreme right winger, which is also a false impression. I am a centrist iconoclast,. I’m actually pretty liberal. I’m just not a fan of leftists, because I think worship of the state is more dangerous in the long term than what the neo-cons are doing. History makes my point for me. If you are a German, East Germany should be a clue.
Of course, we really know what this is about. I’ve looked over your blog and you spend a lot of time insulting people you don’t agree with and trying to demean them. As if this some how makes your position loftier.
All that does is reveal a contempt you have for other humans. And a deep seated insecurity about yourself.
Have a nice day.
a different mikey said,
November 11, 2007 at 18:53
“There’s no excuse for any of this.”
Couldn’t have said it better ourselves.
Paddy Mac said,
November 11, 2007 at 18:55
“…anyone is allowed to use anyone’s name they want here, if it’s done as satire and not maliciously…”
That’s the problem. These wingnuts don’t merely lack logic, facts, and reason. They need wingnut welfare because they’re piss-poor writers, period. This post nicely encapsulates their problem. We’ve seen many great off-the-cuff satires of Hudnall in this comment thread, but have any of us really exceeded his idiocy? How could anyone with half a working brain do so? Ms. Althouse rightly figures that, no matter how intentionally stupid, pseudo-hateful, mocking, insane, or otherwise outre our satire, a reasonable person would mistake it for her native output, because no limit to her foolishness has yet been shown to exist.
At least that’s what the past wells us. When we move our process to the future, and kill all those growing pollut-plants (which are unnaturally natureal), looking backwards, we will misunderestimate our current reality — which by there, will be our past — and, therefore, liberals are commies and , oh, the heck with it. I still can’t compete with him.
SamFromUtah said,
November 11, 2007 at 19:11
Thanks for stopping by, James!
Your display of professional writing has given me a deeper appreciation for the skills of professional editors.
Righteous Bubba said,
November 11, 2007 at 19:11
I’m actually pretty liberal. I’m just not a fan of leftists, because I think worship of the state
Obviously that stuff about trying to do better was a load of … checking thread … codswallop.
g said,
November 11, 2007 at 19:13
Ms. Althouse rightly figures that, no matter how intentionally stupid, pseudo-hateful, mocking, insane, or otherwise outre our satire, a reasonable person would mistake it for her native output, because no limit to her foolishness has yet been shown to exist.
Oh, I think you’re lending her far, far more rationality than she actually possesses.
Ann’s problem with these posts are motivated by an emotion as simple and enduring as it was back when she was 14 – it’s the fear that somewhere, some people are having a slumber party that she wasn’t invited to, and that they are huddled in their sleeping bags making fun and gossiping about her.
g said,
November 11, 2007 at 19:14
Of course, we really know what this is about. I’ve looked over your blog and you spend a lot of time insulting people you don’t agree with and trying to demean them. As if this some how makes your position loftier.
All that does is reveal a contempt you have for other humans. And a deep seated insecurity about yourself.
Oh, snap! he got us!
Me said,
November 11, 2007 at 19:20
My only excuse is I’m really busy and I often don’t have a lot of time for blogging.
But your bio says you’re a “professional writer”. What, if you don’t mind my asking, are you busy doing?
Smiling Mortician said,
November 11, 2007 at 19:28
James Hudnall said,
November 11, 2007 at 18:47
Ouch, you got me. Those are some bad pull quotes.
I am guilty of not proofing my posts as much as I should.
Proofing? When your entire argument rests on a faulty premise supported by nonexistent evidence and copious malapropisms, ain’t no copy editor in the world can fix it.
*sigh* And I was holding out hope that he actually was a parody.
Arky said,
November 11, 2007 at 19:33
And yet, if we check the archive (I went back to August) we can see he blogs at least once on an almost daily basis.
Perhaps there is a new, more natural, definition of not a lot of time.
Uh-huh.
I too challenge anyone to spoof anything of this caliber. Drunk, sober, stuffed to the gills on Cheetos and Mountain Dew, I don’t care. It can not be done.
SamFromUtah said,
November 11, 2007 at 19:34
Proofing? When your entire argument rests on a faulty premise supported by nonexistent evidence and copious malapropisms, ain’t no copy editor in the world can fix it.
I agree no copy editor can fix the argument, but they sure as hell can fix “The day will come some day in the future where they will look at the people of today…”
FWIW, I think people in the future will believe that the people of today were a bunch of loonies. Just not for the same “reasons” that our Mr. Hudnall thinks that.
Bullsmith said,
November 11, 2007 at 19:44
Yeah, I notice a lot of worshiping the state these days on the left. Congress is feeling the love all over.
commie atheist said,
November 11, 2007 at 19:57
I’m actually pretty liberal. I’m just not a fan of leftists, because I think worship of the state is more dangerous in the long term than what the neo-cons are doing. History makes my point for me. If you are a German, East Germany should be a clue.
I don’t think the word “liberal” means what you think it means.
However, you got us on that “worship of the state” thing. California Uber Alles!!!
FlipYrWhig said,
November 11, 2007 at 20:00
Oh boy, libertarianism! That’s where I’m a Viking!
mat said,
November 11, 2007 at 20:05
“Yeah, I notice a lot of worshiping the state these days on the left. ”
As opposed to the worship of the Heroic Leader by the right?
J. Hudnall Althouse, Esq. said,
November 11, 2007 at 20:19
Just for kicks, let’s read a bit about Nimrod:
Ann Althouse's doppleganger said,
November 11, 2007 at 20:22
How things customarily work here doesn’t fit in my need to be willfully ignorant so that my feigned outrage can be perpetuated. My blog needs fuel dammit, and if I can’t come up with any good original ideas on my own to keep things moving, then by God whining about other people making fun of me will be my issue!! If I play my cards right, this will take me into the middle of next week, or the end of my box of Gallo. Whichever comes first.
Doodle Bean said,
November 11, 2007 at 20:23
The wingnut has confused me. Why is he squaring carbon monoxide?
Bravo, Marita! You get twenty jillion points!
Ovid said,
November 11, 2007 at 20:27
Ut desint vires, tamen est laudanda voluntas.
Mikey smells like shit said,
November 11, 2007 at 20:33
You liberals are a bunch of crybaby sissies.
Arky said,
November 11, 2007 at 20:34
Marita, if CO is natural and natural is good, then CO² is even more gooder because that means you get 50% more of CO’s natural wholesomeness!
Sorry.
I think commie atheist deserves a few points for the DK reference.
tb said,
November 11, 2007 at 20:35
These Democrats are playing with nuclear fire with their “national health care” and their “sensible alternative energy policy”. Jamming sham democratic government down people’s throats with the barrel of a gun, making millions of them dedicate their lives to taking up arms against us is infinitely more prudent.
Yes, one would have to hate humanity to write mean things about people like Michelle Malkin, Pam Atlas, Dan Riehl and the rest.
islmfaoscist said,
November 11, 2007 at 20:36
The media prints the press releases for both as if its news and we get inundated with these practically worthless stories.
Anecdotally, one might conclude that:
Twenty years as a (comics) writer isn’t long enough to learn the difference between singular and plural, or between it’s and its.
Twenty years of comics writing does provide excellent practice in the black-or-white style of thinking that assumes all things (like fattitude) are either entirely good or entirely bad for you, which is what makes science seem so mysteriously perplexing (and scientists so Evil!)
Wri-TING!
James Hudnall said,
November 11, 2007 at 20:42
Wow, can you feel the love in this place? All these nice people who are understanding and kind.
Oh, wait…
I know it’s a waste of time to reason with the unreasonable, so I will just say a couple things to the more level headed among you who asked polite questions.
I am a professional writer, part time. But I work full time these days as a software developer for a tech company. I am also a freelance web developer and database analyst. So I work long days and don’t have a lot of free time to blog. Still, I should do a better job at proofing. Mea culpa.
The real reason for the post above is he didn’t like what I was saying about carbon extremists. You may think that global warming hysteria is a reasonable argument. I don’t. I explain why in detail on my blog.
By the way, most of my friends are lefties. We get along fine. Because I am not an unreasonable person, despite what you may think. I just disagree with you on some points.
J— said,
November 11, 2007 at 20:45
See James Hudnall call David Simon a “self-confessed liberal.” See David Simon respond.
g said,
November 11, 2007 at 20:50
The real reason for the post above is he didn’t like what I was saying about carbon extremists.
True, James. But he didn’t like it because it was, basically, laughable. Not because of his ideology.
kiki said,
November 11, 2007 at 20:53
James, one doesn’t have to worship the state to be a “leftist” these days. If you look around you’ll find that people here are generally more concerned with basic, meat-and-potatoes issues like making sure the government doesn’t torture and murder people.
And I’d like to say that comics as a medium has produced some wonderful work; it’s just unfortunate that 99.9% of its output is post-pubescent drivel of the sort that James presumably writes.
stringonastick said,
November 11, 2007 at 20:55
“We are part of nature, therefore whatever we do is a product of nature and therefore, natural. There is no such thing as unnatural.”
People, people, people! Can’t you see it? This is the latest wingnut talking point for getting their politicians out of all those toe tapping, $20 for a blowjob, diaper-wearing, 2 wetsuits and a dildo situations*. It’s a natural thang!
Now us DFH’s and liberal types could really care less what perversion lights your candles, and we really aren’t into that ‘perversion’ label at all, but these assholes certainly are. Most of all, the mouthbreathing 30% very definitely are. They might think they can get this sprucegoose to fly, but I think the average repressed winger is never going to swallow this one.**
* yes, I know that the wetsuit and didldo guy was not a politician. He was however a politically active wingnut preacher, which is a pretty fine line to draw in this case.
** insert Beavis and Butthead sniggers here as needed.
Smiling Mortician said,
November 11, 2007 at 21:01
Nice catch, J—. I had to scroll down a bit but it was well worth it. David Simon is my hero of the day, and poor James remains an utterly clue-deprived schmattoon with a serious subject/verb agreement problem.
Left_Wing_Fox said,
November 11, 2007 at 21:10
By the way, most of my friends are lefties. We get along fine. Because I am not an unreasonable person, despite what you may think. I just disagree with you on some points.
The problem is you just called the majority of scientists “Wacko” based on a completely ignorant understanding of the Carbon Cycle that any high school student could point out.
And then you come whining to us that we’re uncivil.
atheist said,
November 11, 2007 at 21:10
I’m just not a fan of leftists, because I think worship of the state is more dangerous in the long term than what the neo-cons are doing.
See, there it is again. Hudnall doesn’t really understand our POV, the way we think about things. So he assumes that we think exactly the way he does, but are ‘on the other side’. And he comes up with a person who ‘worships’ the state.
The fact that we don’t really ‘worship’ the state at all, but, rather, believe that some state action is essential for a working, livable society, is apparently not easy for Hudnall to believe.
I know that he’s probably sorta joking, trying to be shocking or make us react. Still, I think it’s a tell.
tb said,
November 11, 2007 at 21:16
Here we go:
polar bear said,
November 11, 2007 at 21:18
I loves me some carbon extremists.
g said,
November 11, 2007 at 21:21
I’m actually glad James is here. Maybe he can explain this:
the very idea of calling CO² a pollutant, when it’s a natural process, is nothing short of wacko.
First, he could introduce us all to his scarecrow friends, the strawmen he’s built who use the word “pollutant” for CO2.
Second, he could expand upon his theory that products of natural processes, by virtue of being “natural” aren’t pollutants. I am eager to hear James explain that sewage, by being a product of a natural process, isn’t a pollutant.
looking around, whistling casually said,
November 11, 2007 at 21:24
Wow, someone edited the boy’s Wiki page. Wonder who might have done a thing like that.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
November 11, 2007 at 21:30
Who worships the state, now?
I’ve heard that criticizing the boy king is tantamount to treason. Was it The Left saying that?
Hey, who needs privacy, anyways?
gbear said,
November 11, 2007 at 21:39
g, he’s prolly refering to this story:
http://www.livescience.com/environment/070402_ap_GW_supreme.html
Maybe Mr. Horsefeathers thinks we’re worshiping the Supreme Court. I know I personally say “Holy Mother of God” everytime I think of Clarence Thomas.
Matt T. said,
November 11, 2007 at 22:18
“Carbon extremists”? Is that anything like “anti-smoking zealots”? Dude. You don’t know sheep shit from wild honey on global climate change. Please shut your word-hole until you actually learn what the fuck you’re talking about. Seriously. You’re just bringing this scorn upon yourself.
Matt T. said,
November 11, 2007 at 22:19
You also obviously don’t know the difference between actual liberals and actual leftists, which are very much different. Again, shut your hole until you learn it, please.
Ex-Fed said,
November 11, 2007 at 22:25
“Carbon extremists” sounds like a truly excellent idea for the bad guys in the next season of 24. “Nina!!!” Jack Bauer could scream. “You’ve got to get me the information NOW, or millions of people are going to LOSE THEIR HUMMERS!”
MzNicky said,
November 11, 2007 at 22:30
Poor ol’ Hudnut. Another one bites teh dust.
shystee said,
November 11, 2007 at 22:31
I can’t believe Mr. Hudnuts tried to disparage David Simon, the creator of the Best TV Show EVAR (The Wire) BTW: Go rent it now, start with season 2.
Perhaps it’s professional jealousy. I doubt the critical acclaim for Mr. Hudnuts’ “Harsh Realm” was anywhere close to what The Wire received.
The Wire is the most realistic “cop show” I’ve ever seen. It is very even handed. The cops are lazy, some of the drug dealers are brilliant, every character has a tragic flaw, there are no “good guys”, the cops rarely catch the culprits.
The show would be a great educational tool for people who have never lived in an impoverished, crime infested city. Especially for those people who are shaping our economic, crime and drug policy.
Mr. Hudnuts seems to enjoy the critique of government bureaucracy but is bothered by the implication in the show that mass social and economic actually have an effect on people who live in places like Baltimore.
Yet another glaring example of Wingnut Welfare, Mr. Hudnuts, who admittedly can’t string a fucking sentence together, nevertheless gets paid for writing through Pantloads Media ads on his site.
Is this based on merit? On having made the right choices in life?
Nay, it’s the result of publicly embracing right-wing ideology. Government bad. Global Warming not real. Libruls bad. Mass social and economic phenomena can be explained entirely by “character” and “choices”. Taxes bad.
It’s not a very challenging ideology to understand, but it’s adherents are very well connected. And ready to reward those who are willing to propagate it.
Let me join Mr. Simon in saying: fuck you, asshole.
commie atheist said,
November 11, 2007 at 22:37
I would say that Mr. Hudnall has been effectively, as the kids say, pwn3d.
Herr Doktor Bimler said,
November 11, 2007 at 22:44
Extreme carbon? I think I saw some of that on the sports channel the other day, right after an item on BASE jumping.
Matt T. said,
November 11, 2007 at 22:59
commie atheist,
And he brought it on himself, the poor bastard. You don’t see Pastor Swank or Atlas Pam or any of the other loonies stick their beezers in here. They know we’ve flat had it with those pig fuckers and will taunt them most roughly. You compare someone’s desire for responsible government to religious-driven mass murder, and they’ll eventually decide you ain’t worth the effort. Why in God’s name should people who actually argue that science is just a matter of opinion and mostly political anyway or that we can torture folks and not be evil like if Our Enemies do it just cause be treated with anything but total and utter contempt?
Goddamn. That just boggles my mind. I swear, I got all kinds of respect for those of y’all that can keep up relationships with the Real Americans in your life. I mean, I love Momma, I really do, but bless her heart, she doesn’t always realize that the world is bigger than her Peaceful Valley. She’s good about changing her mind once she’s actually bothered to learn about whatever it is she’s opining. She’s a pro-choice, pro-gay marriage hardshell Southern Baptist and manages to drive EVERYONE crazy.
But I’ve got off-track, sorry. Wingnuts, pay heed. Bring your A-game when you come a-whinin’ from now on. Our mock fu is strong and without mercy.
Oh, yeah, Anne Laurie, thank you very much. You are very sweet. Now, someone other than Momma loves me (’cause she might be jiving, too).
Arky - Worshiper of Cthulu said,
November 11, 2007 at 23:00
Irony O.D.
So we have the following algebraic equation
Full Time SD – FWD&DA – PTPW = X.
Will someone help me find X? Oh wait, I think X is “Hobby.”
Really. You can take his word for that. No need to check the archive for his blog.
It isn’t the poor writing skills that bother me as much as the poor reasoning skills and neither bother me as much as the persistent fibbing.
Righteous Bubba said,
November 11, 2007 at 23:18
You may think that global warming hysteria is a reasonable argument.
Please let me survive this case of the giggles.
Who worships the state, now?
[hides severed goat heads]
W. Kiernan said,
November 11, 2007 at 23:23
Lookee here, it’s mathematically stupid to call C02 a pollution. You take 0. Square it, you still got 0:
By the fundamental definition of 0 in a field, any old damn thing (X) times 0 equals 0
Therefore C02 is clearly nothing, and even liberul moonbats such as the present readership will have to agree, nothing is not a pollution. QED!
barbell said,
November 11, 2007 at 23:24
The person who wrote: #
Snorghagen said,
November 11, 2007 at 14:52
Barbell wrote:
I would love to write to the publications that pay PJ and expose his bullshit.
There are publications that currently pay money to this guy? I’m not just joking, I’m genuinely surprised, given his inability to be funny and his general air of desperation. On his bio page, I notice that all references to employment as a humor writer are in past tense.
is not me. I expect this person is either PJ/lol, the troll from the weblog forum.
W. Kiernan said,
November 11, 2007 at 23:24
Mother FUCKER wha happened to my <sup>s?
Comrade Rutherford said,
November 11, 2007 at 23:26
Arky said,
November 11, 2007 at 20:34
I think commie atheist deserves a few points for the DK reference.
We better not get caught.
We’ll be thrown in institutions.
Where we’ll be drugged and shocked.
‘Til we come out born again christians!
(DK & Ramones got me through high school with my sanity intact…)
You’ll work harder with a gun in your back for a bowl of rice a day!
Sorry Charlie said,
November 11, 2007 at 23:42
We don’t want writers that good write, we want writers that write good.
Mikey smells like shit said,
November 11, 2007 at 23:47
Liberals and leftists are one in the same! YOU ARE ALL A BUNCH OF COMMIE PIGS!!!
Mikey smells like shit
mdhatter said,
November 11, 2007 at 23:58
228 comments?
I like pie.
Righteous Bubba said,
November 12, 2007 at 0:02
New post needed lest I forget to worship the state.
InsaneInTheCheneyBrain said,
November 12, 2007 at 0:05
It’s sort of pathetic, I mean these chunderheads willing to sell out their own interests to lie about crap like this. Do they think when the world’s all done being raped and the flooding and food riots are happening, that the corporate gods will rescue them because of their advocacy?
Marita said,
November 12, 2007 at 0:12
Mikey smells like flowers and fine wine. I’m not sure where others on this board are getting their information, but I am sure they are mistaken.
Patkin said,
November 12, 2007 at 0:21
Speaking as one of the few genuine commie pigs here.
I *do* worship the State. Michael Ian Black is just dreamy.
J— said,
November 12, 2007 at 0:22
Statolatrists of the world, unite.
But I suppose the United States Geological Survey has been co-opted by secret agents working for Al Gore and just made up these figures.
It’s all moot, since Child of Krakatoa is going to change everything.
Herr Doktor Bimler said,
November 12, 2007 at 0:45
If you ask me, the prequel Kratatoa 0 was better than anyone expected. It turned out that Krakatoa’s superpowers were the result of exposure to radioactive balderfeathers.
Righteous Bubba said,
November 12, 2007 at 0:46
I think that I’ll can’t contemplate
A thing as lovely as The State
Qetesh the Abyssinian said,
November 12, 2007 at 0:47
I’m just not a fan of leftists, because I think worship of the state is more dangerous in the long term than what the neo-cons are doing. History makes my point for me. If you are a German, East Germany should be a clue.
Gosh. The whole multi-dimensional nature of modern, or indeed historical, politics has just passed you by, James, hasn’t it? I don’t mean to sound offensive, but I think those words do not mean what you think they mean. You might be interested to check out
the Political Compass for a better understanding of political terms. You might even want to do the test, to see where you fall in the 2-dimensional political world. I can’t speak for everyone here, but I fell down in the lower left quadrant, with Gandhi and Nelson Mandela.
Oh, and a correction for whomever stated that the opposite of fascism was anarchy: the opposite of fascism is actually anarchism, a political model which is wholly different. Consider the Spanish revolution for more clues.
All that does is reveal a contempt you have for other humans. And a deep seated insecurity about yourself.
Actually, James, what we mostly criticised here are (a) an inability to make a coherent logical argument (spelling and grammar optional); and (b) a complete lack of compassion for people in dire circumstances. Oh, and the bizarre assumption that the biosphere can recover from anything we choose to throw at it. Now that’s arrogant.
The real reason for the post above is he didn’t like what I was saying about carbon extremists. You may think that global warming hysteria is a reasonable argument. I don’t. I explain why in detail on my blog.
You see, you’ve started in with the insults yourself, while pretending to be all warm and fuzzy and superior. “Global warming hysteria”? “Carbon extremists”? If you’ve examined the entirety of the evidence that climate change is occurring, and have found that the overwhelming majority of climate scientists is wrong, then please submit your work to a peer-reviewed journal in the field. If not, then you need to admit that your opinion is just that, an opinion, and that perhaps the overwhelming majority of those who make a living in climate studies might just have knowledge and understanding that you lack.
Finally, there’s the precautionary principle. In brief, it says that it’s better to be safe than sorry. Really. If the consequences of one course are so dire that they include the deaths of millions, and the consequences of the opposite course don’t include the deaths of millions, then a sensible choice would be the one that didn’t involve mass death.
Of course, that often depends on whether those in power would be included among the millions dead, but the sensible, moral, choice would be to take such warnings seriously. Don’t you think?
mdhatter said,
November 12, 2007 at 0:49
Krakatoa 2 – elelctric boogaloo?
Righteous Bubba said,
November 12, 2007 at 0:50
I don’t write good. I blame computer which is at fault.
Gavin smells like rotten anuses said,
November 12, 2007 at 0:52
All liberal commie pigs worship the state, thats why they are advocates of big government, burdensome regulations, high taxes and driving God out of the public square.
Saul is not a rabbi said,
November 12, 2007 at 0:55
C’mon dude. You aren’t fooling anyone with these screennames.
Also, why shouldn’t people drive God out of the public square? You think he should have to walk? Take the bus? Have a little more respect.
Gavin smells like rotten anuses said,
November 12, 2007 at 0:59
I don’t know who Saul is, but I figure with all this anomosity directed towards him at this site that he must be a conservative.
Qetesh the Abyssinian said,
November 12, 2007 at 1:00
Herr Doktor Bimler said,
November 12, 2007 at 0:45
If you ask me, the prequel Kratatoa 0 was better than anyone expected. It turned out that Krakatoa’s superpowers were the result of exposure to radioactive balderfeathers.
It was crap. Anything 0 is crap. Too many special effects, capitalising on the massive success of the original. Some prequels are good, some carry an immense amount of suckage, and some, those labelled “Thing You Enjoyed – 0″ should be buried in the nethermost pit of hell.
Yes, I’m cranky. Anyone who’s seen the massively scary pure blood-curdling horror that is Ring, and then sucked of the poisoned teat that is Ring 0 would be cranky. Lordy, what a tremendous pile of suckage that was.
And that goes for the crap American remake, too. Bloody can’t do anything right, they take a good bloody film, munge the guts out of it, splash around some stupid digital effects, and think they’ve got a winner…
{Qetesh trails off into unintelligible muttering, punctuated by surprising hand gestures}
Qetesh the Abyssinian said,
November 12, 2007 at 1:03
driving God out of the public square.
Why do I have this image of a bloke wearing the fashionable stripey robes of yester-millennia and carrying a stick, herding gods like geese? Godherding, if you will.
Because no-one wants their public square fun to be marred by stepping in godshit.
Saul is not a rabbi said,
November 12, 2007 at 1:05
Godherding, if you will.
Get along, little Goddies?
city hall said,
November 12, 2007 at 1:05
Hey, I don’t care HOW important this God guy thinks he is, he still needs a permit to set up in the town square just like everybody else.
Gavin smells like rotten anuses said,
November 12, 2007 at 1:15
Idaho is the best state in the union. It has a Republican Governor Butch Otter, a Republican Lieutenant Governor, Republicans control all major State Offices and both houses of the Idaho State Legislature, and in the U.S. Senate both Idaho Senators are Republicans and both members of the House of Representives are Republicans. And best of all the overwhelming majority of Idaho citizens are registered Republicans. I wish all states were as Conservative as Idaho.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
November 12, 2007 at 1:15
city hall said,
November 12, 2007 at 1:05
Hey, I don’t care HOW important this God guy thinks he is, he still needs a permit to set up in the town square just like everybody else.
And NO PROSYLETIZING!!one1!!
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
November 12, 2007 at 1:16
I thought Butch Otter was a porn star.
Gavin smells like rotten anuses said,
November 12, 2007 at 1:17
Oh and I forgot to mention in the 2004 Presidential Election George Bush carried Idaho with 68% of the vote!
GO IDAHO!
Herr Doktor Bimler said,
November 12, 2007 at 1:18
Why do I have this image of a bloke wearing the fashionable stripey robes of yester-millennia and carrying a stick, herding gods like geese?
I can’t help suspecting that the answer involves the words ‘Python’ and ‘Monty’.
Doodle Bean said,
November 12, 2007 at 1:19
MzNicky,
Even though we are even further into the future than when you held out a tiny spark of hope spark that the James person would be a better person, his reply to all our snark indicates that all your hopes are dashed despite all our snark.
He still writes like an ass on top of an ass.
Doodle Bean said,
November 12, 2007 at 1:20
See? I can’t even do it on purpose!
Arky - Worshiper of Cthulu said,
November 12, 2007 at 1:21
Man, I bet the doors never stop swinging in the bathrooms of Idaho.
SamFromUtah said,
November 12, 2007 at 1:24
Idaho is the best state in the union.
Has anyone mentioned the whole Larry Craig thing to you yet?
He does show that Idaho is about as representative of Convervatism as you can get.
g said,
November 12, 2007 at 1:26
Idaho is the best state in the union.
That’s why, upon graduating high school, young kids with stars in their eyes and dreams in their hearts leave their small Midwestern towns and flock to Idaho to make it big!
Oh. They don’t? Sorry, my bad.
Smiling Mortician said,
November 12, 2007 at 1:27
Troll’s livin’ in his own private Idaho.
Gavin smells like rotten anuses said,
November 12, 2007 at 1:30
IDAHO RULES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Herr Doktor Bimler said,
November 12, 2007 at 1:31
Ah, stepping in godshit. Fond childhood memories.
Frosty winter mornings, still half-dark… dragging myself reluctantly across the paddock in the direction of the milking-shed, the taste of porridge in my mouth… Oh, a fresh steaming pile of godshit. Stomp. The blessed warmth seeps in through the gumboots…
The godfarm was no longer economical when the government abolished the religious subsidies, so my family moved to the city.
Gavin smells like rotten anuses said,
November 12, 2007 at 1:33
And Idaho has no restrictions on private gun owership by law abiding citizens. Anyone who is law abiding, meaning never been convicted of a felony, can carry a handgun on their person either open or concealed.
FS said,
November 12, 2007 at 1:34
Krautheimer is in a wheelchair? I didn’t know that. The things a person can learn by reading Pajamas Media!
P.S. I’m in my pajamas right now!
P.P.S. Do I need to worry that James Hudnall might assess a financial penalty on me for violating their copyright on PJ’s?
P.P.P.S. These are “lounging pajamas,” not the ones I wear to bed.
P.P.P.P.S. I’m not in my mom’s basement.
Gavin smells like rotten anuses said,
November 12, 2007 at 1:35
Idaho also passed a State Constitutional Amendment banning same sex marraige by 73% of the vote if I’m not mistaken.
Gavin smells like rotten anuses said,
November 12, 2007 at 1:37
Idaho is also one of 22 States that said they would ban abortion when roe v. wade is overturned.
FS said,
November 12, 2007 at 1:37
I just saw the photo on the previous blog post about Krautheimer. I thought the joke was that he looks like Alfred E. Newman. Didn’t get the wheelchair reference at all.
Gavin smells like rotten anuses said,
November 12, 2007 at 1:40
Idaho is also one of only 2 States in the Union that executes criminals using the firing squad.
Arky - Worshiper of Cthulu said,
November 12, 2007 at 1:40
But furtive same-sex assignations in toilets are still A-OK!
But I do appreciate GSLRA’s many reminders that there is no need to go to Idaho. Ever.
Gavin smells like rotten anuses said,
November 12, 2007 at 1:41
Idaho also has one of the lowest violent crime rates in the nation thanks to its faithfullness to the Second Amendment.
An Altrockband said,
November 12, 2007 at 1:41
Huggin’ and a kissin’, dancin’ and a lovin’,
Wearin’ next to nothin’ ’cause it’s hot as an oven.
The whole shack shimmies when everybody’s movin’
Around and around and around and around!
Gavin smells like rotten anuses said,
November 12, 2007 at 1:43
Idaho is also one of only three states in the lower 48 that still has Grizzley Bears in the wild thanks to conservation efforts by Idaho’s Conservaitve government.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
November 12, 2007 at 1:44
Idaho also has one of the lowest violent crime rates in the nation thanks to
its faithfullness to the Second Amendmentthe long distances between its citizens.If only the sheep could file crime reports.
P.S. Anyone else getting an annieangel vibe off persistent and boring troll saul (and his legion of other names)?
g said,
November 12, 2007 at 1:46
Sometimes you wonder about what the actual words mean when you hear someone over-using a popular cliche or idiom.
Take our Idahoan troll, for example. At the end of a stirring endorsement, he says “Go Idaho!”
This is a phrase lifted from sports – presumably, one would say “Go Ohio!” when cheering on the Ohio State Buckeyes football team, or “Go Boston!” when rooting for the Sox. The team is in a game, a contest, and you tell them to “Go!” because you want them to run briskly down the field, or dash swiftly around the bases, or hit that baseball out of the park.
But trolly here is talking about something else – a state; a geographical location; a group of people comprising the state of Idaho. So how does exhorting “Go Idaho!” make any sense. How would Idaho heed this command, if it could?
You can’t tell land to “Go!” – it just lies there. You can
More the point, he trots out another overused idiom, “Idaho RULES!” which I think comes from an extension of the sports metaphor; meaning the winner is the champion, the dominator, the holder of the title, the Crown, as it were; the the Ruler.
When he’s saying “Idaho RULES!” isn’t he praising the idea of strong governmental control – which would surely be an antitheses to the conservative ideal? Does he want Idaho to rule it’s own people, or does he envision a conquering Idaho invading Montana or Wyoming and deposing their state governments?
When he’s saying “Go Idaho!” is he exhorting the people of Idaho to leave the state?
I know I would.
gbear said,
November 12, 2007 at 1:47
“And Idaho has no restrictions on private gun owership by law abiding citizens. Anyone who is law abiding, meaning never been convicted of a felony, can carry a handgun on their person either open or concealed.”
I bet there’s no limit on how many guns you can buy either, meaning that anyone that’s never been convicted of a felony can buy guns by the trunkful and sell them for twice as much to folks in other states who can’t buy them. Hey, it’s just capitalism at work.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
November 12, 2007 at 1:48
G, I think he is saying “I, da HO!”.
Which nobody can deny.
Patkin said,
November 12, 2007 at 1:49
Why is the troll giving us all these fun facts about Idaho, without mentioning the one thing anyone else in the country gives a shit about Idaho for?
Where’s your potato fun-facts, troll?
Tell us about the tater tot capital of the world! Without potatos your state is useless and simply there to keep Montana and Washington apart from each other.
You’re the cock-block of the United States.
Gavin smells like rotten anuses said,
November 12, 2007 at 1:50
gbear, you just proved my point that Idaho is the best State in the Union.
hunter in Idaho said,
November 12, 2007 at 1:51
Ya know, them grizzly bears taste just like bald eagle. Some gooood eatin!
Patkin said,
November 12, 2007 at 1:52
Also, anyone else note the irony in someone lambasting the “leftists” for “worshiping the state” when he does nothing but proselytize about the grandeur of a genuine state?
My state could beat up your state.
Gavin smells like rotten anuses said,
November 12, 2007 at 1:53
Ah yes, potatos a very wholesome and nutrious source of nourishment that the Native Americans loved so much. Idaho is the top producer and exporter of potatos in the nation.
a different brad said,
November 12, 2007 at 1:53
Idaho is a state now?
That’s so cute.
Gavin smells like rotten anuses said,
November 12, 2007 at 1:54
Idaho also has the largest percentage of registered Republican per capita of any State in the Union.
g said,
November 12, 2007 at 1:54
Idahoans with foot fetishes!
Golfball theives. Blind perverts. Crybabies in prison.
Oh, here’s a good one:
With many of its leaders still in jail from their 1980s fund-raising scheme of choice robbing armored cars the white supremacist group The Aryan Nations recently began a new fund-raising operation. The group now sells mail-order candies to a private membership list through a Hayden, Idaho, firm, Intermountain FARE. The best-selling selection, for $8.50 plus postage and handling, is the Royal Nut Mix.
J— said,
November 12, 2007 at 1:55
When I go to sleep, I never count sheep
I count all the charms about The State
And lately it seems in all of my dreams
I walk with my arms about The State
Patkin said,
November 12, 2007 at 1:56
Yet it only carried 68% of the state in the 2004 election? If you’re really the grand old party’s last stand, you should be carrying 100%!
No non-conservatives at all!
Until then, you’re just fat potato-chewing chumps!
Gavin smells like rotten anuses said,
November 12, 2007 at 1:58
In Massachussetts for example, the nations most solidly Democratic State, John Kerry carried it with 62% compared to Bush’s 68% in Idaho.
g said,
November 12, 2007 at 1:58
In July, ex-student Jason Wilkins sued the University of Idaho for $940,000 to pay for injuries he suffered when he fell through a third-story dormitory window while mooning students. Wilkins had climbed onto a 3-foot-high heater to reach the window but claimed the university should have posted warnings.
Wow. How Un-Conservative!
Gavin smells like rotten anuses said,
November 12, 2007 at 2:00
The Republicans have been the majority party in Idaho since the 1880s.
g said,
November 12, 2007 at 2:00
MERIDIAN, Idaho – A southwest Idaho woman accused of setting fire to a mounted bison head at her ex-husband’s home faces arson charges. Police arrested Ryann Jean Stafford, 26, Thursday on a charge of third-degree arson, a felony.
Investigators said Stafford and her former spouse got into an argument at his home. But after he left the house, police said Stafford began throwing objects and then used a lighter to ignite the mounted head.
g said,
November 12, 2007 at 2:01
Idaho has the highest percentage of mouth-breathers in the nation, according to the American Association of Oral Surgeons.
gbear said,
November 12, 2007 at 2:02
Well DAMN! Cut off my legs and call me shorty, GSLRAnuses.
Can’t argue with the fact that Idaho makes itself the bestest state by exporting their crap. No wonder Larry Craig came to MN.
g said,
November 12, 2007 at 2:02
Idaho leads the nation in the number of homes contaminated with radon gas.
g said,
November 12, 2007 at 2:03
Per capita, Idahoans eat more lard than any other state.
Arky - Worshiper of Cthulu said,
November 12, 2007 at 2:05
Until a bunch of yahoos killed them.
Yes, Senator Larry Craig (R-BathroomStall) is fond of this tasty potato dish.
Ah, the great state of Idaho. The wide open fields, the firm stances on the rights of Americans, the symbolic rogering of root vegetables. It brings a tear to the eye.
Especially if you’re a potato.
Gavin smells like rotten anuses said,
November 12, 2007 at 2:06
79% of Idahoans identify as Christians according to wikipedia.
a different brad said,
November 12, 2007 at 2:06
Also, The Wire is the best tv since Twin Peaks. This is not up for discussion. The Sopranos had a great first couple seasons, but the Wire is superhuman.
David Simon for president.
And I missed an Althouse outburst?
Is it time for a new fake facebook profile?
Gavin smells like rotten anuses said,
November 12, 2007 at 2:08
Thanks for the reciepe by the way Arky, political differences aside it sounds rather good.
Gavin smells like rotten anuses said,
November 12, 2007 at 2:12
Idaho hasn’t voted for a Democrat in a Presidential election since 1964 when Lyndon “War on Poverty” Johnson beat Barry Goldwater.
g said,
November 12, 2007 at 2:12
using this site
I see that crime stats for Idaho are higher than those of the nation as a whole.
g said,
November 12, 2007 at 2:13
Whoops, sorry. Here’s the link:
http://www.bestplaces.net/crime/
a different brad said,
November 12, 2007 at 2:13
Idaho now features satellite tv.
Still no cable, tho.
lesley said,
November 12, 2007 at 2:14
Also, The Wire is the best tv…This is not up for discussion.
While I agree with this, there’s another show that should not be missed. This one hails from the CBC in Canada: Intelligence.
Gavin smells like rotten anuses said,
November 12, 2007 at 2:14
They most certainly are not. Washington D.C. has the highest murder rate per capita than any other city in the Nation thanks to its draconian gun ban.
J— said,
November 12, 2007 at 2:14
Ah yes, the potato, of Andean origin. How long shall we endure Idaho’s tuberous subordination to South America?
Jim Tourtelott said,
November 12, 2007 at 2:15
Once there were comic books. If you were very lucky, they were written by Will Eisner. Now there are “graphic novels.” If you are unlucky, they are written by this Skeezix.
Marita said,
November 12, 2007 at 2:15
I see that crime stats for Idaho are higher than those of the nation as a whole.
Well, sure, but what happens to those stats when you take out the sheep shagging crimes?
Gavin smells like rotten anuses said,
November 12, 2007 at 2:17
Are you sure thats per capita g?
gbear said,
November 12, 2007 at 2:18
If the biggest fault you can find with LBJ is that he declared war on poverty, then you’ve got bigger problems than being stuck in Idaho.
Gavin smells like rotten anuses said,
November 12, 2007 at 2:21
Actually Boise Idaho has less crime than both Boston Massachussetts and New York City according to that website.
g said,
November 12, 2007 at 2:21
Read the site, my nasty-named little friend.
I’m just having fun with it.
g said,
November 12, 2007 at 2:22
Actually Boise Idaho has less crime than both Boston Massachussetts and New York City according to that website.
Ah, yes, and they have less opera and ballet, too. See how dull Idaho can be?
Gavin smells like rotten anuses said,
November 12, 2007 at 2:24
And less crime than D.C. and Chicago as well.
g said,
November 12, 2007 at 2:25
This one’s more fun. It gives a crime score and a safety score.
http://www.prsearch.com/crime/idaho/
Go to the Crime statistics index and you can look at other states.
Marita said,
November 12, 2007 at 2:26
Less crime than DC? It must be some sort of paradise!!1!!!
Gavin smells like rotten anuses said,
November 12, 2007 at 2:26
And also less crime than Providence R.I. and Jersey City.
Gavin smells like rotten anuses said,
November 12, 2007 at 2:30
Considering we only have fifty states and D.C., Idaho is only #11 in violent crime and #14 in property crime. Thats 39 States and D.C. with more violent crime than Idaho and 36 States and D.C. with more property crime. Idaho sounds like one of the safer States to me according to that site.
g said,
November 12, 2007 at 2:30
And less good restaurants than Los Angeles!
Gavin smells like rotten anuses said,
November 12, 2007 at 2:33
Actually my mistake #14 is for overall crime per capita which is FANTASTIC! And # 11 for violent crime. That means Idaho is the 11th safest state in terms of violent crime and the 14th safest state for crime in general.
g said,
November 12, 2007 at 2:35
You know what’s the very best thing about Idaho?
The fact that it’s a haven for people like our little nasty-named friend. I ‘m glad you like it there. Keeps you from coming here.
Gavin smells like rotten anuses said,
November 12, 2007 at 2:38
I wouldn’t dream of moving out of my beloved Idaho the Fatherland.
Marita said,
November 12, 2007 at 2:42
Who wants to bet that our friend’s IP resolves to nowhere near Idaho? Go ahead, Saul, click through to my blog! I’ll be waiting for the Idaho visitor to show up in the sitemeter stats.
[and waiting... and waiting...]
J. Hudnall Althouse, Esq. said,
November 12, 2007 at 2:47
Here is a nice site for comparing crime stats from one city against another. As you can see, Boise, in 2005, had a higher per capita rate in 4 of the 7 major categories of crime than did New York City.
Candy said,
November 12, 2007 at 2:47
When a thread devolves into a discussion of the merits (or lack thereof) of Idaho, it is time for a new thread. Please.
Oh, well, I should be writing a paper anyway. I guess this is nature’s way of telling me . . . something. I’m sure it’s all natural. Naturally.
g said,
November 12, 2007 at 2:48
I’ve only been to Idaho once in my whole life. Driving across the country from Seattle to Upstate NY.
Spent the night in the most godforsaken, ugly-ass dump of a motel ever. Place was so cheap they put only one panel of two-panel curtains on each window. Place was so cheap they didn’t have a bar of soap in the bathroom. Place was so cheap the water bed was only half-filled.
g said,
November 12, 2007 at 2:49
When a thread devolves into a discussion of the merits (or lack thereof) of Idaho, it is time for a new thread. Please.
I agree. It’s probably my fault. I’m waiting for laundry to finish in the dryer.
Arky - Worshiper of Cthulu said,
November 12, 2007 at 2:51
No, no. This is my fault. I’ve got a work project that I’ve been ignoring all weekend. Unfortunately Cthulu did not set a Sabbath so I’ve had to fall back on plain old foolin’ around.
atheist said,
November 12, 2007 at 2:52
Ou sont des Trolldens d’antan?
gbear said,
November 12, 2007 at 2:53
g, yea, I’m doing laundry too.
Gavin smells like rotten anuses said,
November 12, 2007 at 2:56
I got to go a situation awaits me, however I will leave you liberals with this.
IDAHO RUUUUUUUUUUULLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEESSSSSSS!!!
Gavin smells like rotten anuses said,
November 12, 2007 at 2:58
Remember when ever you set foot in Idaho, that the place you are standing upon is Conservative territory!
Candy said,
November 12, 2007 at 2:58
I’m hangin’ over, so I don’t really feel like doing anything. I’ve been ranging about the blogosphere. Ain’t much goin’ on. Sundays, bah! I do, however, have much that I could and should be doing. Ah, well.
g said,
November 12, 2007 at 3:03
I’m hangin’ over, so I don’t really feel like doing anything.
That’s right, you had a time of it last night.
I’ve been in my pajamas all day, but in 2 hours we have to go meet some people and be nice.
Marita said,
November 12, 2007 at 3:03
That’s ok, Candy, you can hang out here with us. We can do laundry and our nails and say nasty things about Ann Althouse.
Patkin said,
November 12, 2007 at 3:03
I don’t think anyone in their right minds would set foot in Idaho, so yeah, you’re right, troll.
Good luck with the potatoes.
Comrade Rutherford said,
November 12, 2007 at 3:04
GSLRNA longs for the day when he can walk around shooting everyone he meets.
When I hear gun nuts talk about how great it is to carry a gun everywhere, the only outcome is shootouts on every street corner all day long. Mass death and slaughter of the innocents.
That is what the GOP wants. A terrorized populace shooting at everything that moves. Hence the ’shoot-to-kill’ laws (euphamistically called ’stand your ground’) in 19 states that makes it legal to just shoot at anyone as long as you can make up a plausible excuse when the cops come.
Nothing says ‘Patirotism’ more than gunning down some lost soul that was just asking directions. Slaughtering strangers is exactly what the Founding Fathers meant when they wrote the Second Amendment. I mean, now that they’ve killed off all the Indians, they are just itching to slaughter more people. Hunting animals just isn’t the same as shooting into houses full of women and children (especially if they are liberals!).
Candy said,
November 12, 2007 at 3:04
I crossed Idaho twice. Once driving I-90 going to Seattle, once driving a 17 foot Uhaul back through the mountains. I didn’t enjoy either experience. The interstate is narrow and scary through Idaho, though thankfully you aren’t on it long. I-90 across Idaho is a mighty short drive.
I did notice that every building I saw was very ramshackle, even the casinos, if one can call them that. Looked more like dive bars with legal gambling.
Drove across twice, never stopped once. Not even to use the bathroom. I kept thinking about Deliverance. The mountains are pretty though.
MzNicky said,
November 12, 2007 at 3:04
Idaho trolls? Idaho?
It’s a fine how-do-you-do in this country when trolls on the InternetzTubes aren’t even annoying anymore, just boring.
Candy said,
November 12, 2007 at 3:08
That’s right, you had a time of it last night.
I even yarked, g. It’s been a long time since I did that. I just can’t drink like I did when I was a sweet young thing. I’m gonna have to hang it up. I just don’t know how Anne Althouse does it. She’s a veritable Wonder Woman of Lushiness. And Pamalamadingdong is no spring chicken, either.
Thanks, Marita, making fun of Anne is always a pleasant way to while away the time. :)
Some Guy said,
November 12, 2007 at 3:08
“Gavin smells like rotten anuses said,
They most certainly are not. Washington D.C. has the highest murder rate per capita than any other city in the Nation thanks to its draconian gun ban.”
http://blog.nola.com/tpcrimearchive/2007/03/study_murder_rate_is_even_high/print.html
That took me 30 seconds to find. Beyond that, pleased to be providing evidence regarding to percentages of murders that are not gang-related, ie, not including people who would not violate those “draconian” gun bans anyways.
mikey said,
November 12, 2007 at 3:10
Y’know, up until quite recently I was fairly fond of Idaho. The western mountains are very beautiful. But this assclown, by his mindless, retarded recitation of the most boring and banal statistics, ad nauseum, and for no apparent reason, is making me think it might just be time to nuke the fuckin place.
This thread, while it had it’s moments, does not inspire me at this point.
*YAWN*
And the olfactory program related activities screen names? Juvenile and irritating. Maybe I’m just old mister grumpy pants, but reading this idiocy makes me want to commit random mayhem.
In Idaho…
mikehy
Qetesh the Abyssinian said,
November 12, 2007 at 3:10
Thanks for the stats, g. It would be interesting to see if there’s a correlation between, say, population density and violent crime, or land area and violent crime, or a bunch of other things.
{Looks around in sudden embarrassment} Sorry, my inner mathematician just sneaked out there. Won’t happen again. {Slaps face. Slaps face again}
Marita said,
November 12, 2007 at 3:10
Candy, you know the best part about making fun of Ann Althouse? Since she has the google alert set up to ring her batphone the instant her name is invoked on the internets, you know she’ll read whatever you’d like to say about her, even in the comfort of the comments section of Sadly, No!
So when I say that Ann Althouse is a self-absorbed embarrassment to women everywhere? She’ll totally read that.
lesley said,
November 12, 2007 at 3:11
That means Idaho is the 11th safest state in terms of violent crime and the 14th safest state for crime in general.
a state that could be the set for The Invasion of the Body Snatchers.- Republican edition.
Marita said,
November 12, 2007 at 3:12
Uh-oh. Since Idaho only has like, forty people living there, I fear that Mikey is about to seriously alter their per capita crime rates.
Shockingly, my sitemeter is still not showing a hit from Idaho. I wonder why that is?
Some Guy said,
November 12, 2007 at 3:15
“Gavin smells like rotten anuses said,
They most certainly are not. Washington D.C. has the highest murder rate per capita than any other city in the Nation thanks to its draconian gun ban.”
http://blog.nola.com/tpcrimearchive/2007/03/study_murder_rate_is_even_high/print.html
That took me 30 seconds to find. Maybe next time, you should try NOT pulling numbers out of your ass.
I would venture to guess that a large number of those murders are gang-related. IE, people who don’t follow those “draconian” gun bans anyways, so it’s really not relevant to the argument.
Dude, no one LIVES in Idaho. Ya think maybe that’s why the crime rate is so low? It’s 39th out of 51 in 2004.
Some Guy said,
November 12, 2007 at 3:16
FOR THE THIRD TIME, because i think spam blocker doesn’t like my URL link.
“Gavin smells like rotten anuses said,
They most certainly are not. Washington D.C. has the highest murder rate per capita than any other city in the Nation thanks to its draconian gun ban.”
*URL saying that you’re an idiot goes HERE*
That took me 30 seconds to find. Maybe next time, you should try NOT pulling numbers out of your ass.
I would venture to guess that a large number of those murders are gang-related. IE, people who don’t follow those “draconian” gun bans anyways, so it’s really not relevant to the argument.
Dude, no one LIVES in Idaho. Ya think maybe that’s why the crime rate is so low? It’s 39th out of 51 in 2004.
g said,
November 12, 2007 at 3:16
There’s nothing that demonstrates your Christian values better than using a screen-name composed of obscenities.
Gundamhead said,
November 12, 2007 at 3:19
Man, that Definitely not Saul is one sad little man.
To his credit, Hudnoll is still a lot better than Fauxhammer.
Yeah, stuff with “Zero” in the name usually suck ass pretty hard. And I’m including the Star Wars Prequels there (a whole trilogy of Zeros!)
Uh, I blame Idaho. Get Dick Chaney on the horn!
g said,
November 12, 2007 at 3:19
So when I say that Ann Althouse is a self-absorbed embarrassment to women everywhere? She’ll totally read that.
I hear Ann Althouse wears knock-off label shoes.
I hear her handbag was bought at a vendor stall on Canal Street.
Candy said,
November 12, 2007 at 3:20
Anne Althouse reminds me of the old saying, “Don’t listen at a knothole, lest ye be vexed.”
gbear said,
November 12, 2007 at 3:21
“a situation awaits me.”
What kind of a sad-assed exit is that?? Cops pounding on the door? Mom’s got dinner on the table? It’s getting close to lights-out time and people are telling you to get back to your room?
ryk said,
November 12, 2007 at 3:23
Maine potatoes are better. Just saying.
Rightwingsnarkle said,
November 12, 2007 at 3:23
It’s time to play Sadly, No! Comments Jumble!
Just mix comment snippets into new comments. It’s fun. it’s easy! Look:
I’m just not a fan of leftists, because I think worship of the state is more dangerous in the long term than what the neo-cons are doing. I wouldn’t dream of moving out of my beloved Idaho the Fatherland.
the_millionaire_lebowski said,
November 12, 2007 at 3:24
Can someone summarize this thread for me? I can’t be arsed to read all of this.
a different brad said,
November 12, 2007 at 3:25
I’d guess S,N! is responsible for a good third of Ann Althouse’s google alerts.
Hi Ann! Remember when you freaked out at me, then deleted a bunch of comments to paper over how plain old dumb you looked?
She’s still pissy at me for it, too. I should go over and annoy her, but it requires reading her writing.
Hmmm said,
November 12, 2007 at 3:26
So when I say that Ann Althouse is a self-absorbed embarrassment to women everywhere? She’ll totally read that.
The thing is she sees the domain and then must make assumptions depending on how far into the box of wine she is. So it’s worth establishing a blog every now and then at IloveAlthouse.blogspot.com and she’ll get sucked into a… a… a… VORTEX!
Candy said,
November 12, 2007 at 3:32
I just realized I’ve been spelling Ann’s name Anne. I’m sure this will earn me her undying enmity.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
November 12, 2007 at 3:33
the_millionaire_lebowski said,
November 12, 2007 at 3:24
Can someone summarize this thread for me? I can’t be arsed to read all of this.
James Hudnall is stupid, and would look funny holding a giant sammich.
tb said,
November 12, 2007 at 3:34
She disappeared into a vortex years ago: the vortex of her own butt.
mikey said,
November 12, 2007 at 3:35
James Hudnall is stupid, and would look funny holding a giant sammich.
A giant sammich emitting vast clouds of exponential carbon….
mikey
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
November 12, 2007 at 3:40
CO³²!
Marita said,
November 12, 2007 at 3:41
I just realized I’ve been spelling Ann’s name Anne. I’m sure this will earn me her undying enmity.
The problem is that with the misspelling you won’t trigger her Google alert. Unless she has them set up for alternate spellings of her name. Which, come to think of it, wouldn’t really shock me all that much.
Edmund Schluessel said,
November 12, 2007 at 3:43
As a scientist, I have to say the whole “C-O-squared” thing gets to me the most. If you feel superior enough to pontificate on a subject, you should be able to figure out how the subscript HTML tag works.
g said,
November 12, 2007 at 3:44
We also learned that Idaho rules. Except for the sucky parts.
Candy said,
November 12, 2007 at 3:45
Unless she has them set up for alternate spellings of her name. Which, come to think of it, wouldn’t really shock me all that much.
In fact, given her extreme narcissism, it seems likely.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
November 12, 2007 at 3:49
Edmund Schluessel said,
November 12, 2007 at 3:43
As a scientist, I have to say the whole “C-O-squared” thing gets to me the most. If you feel superior enough to pontificate on a subject, you should be able to figure out how the subscript HTML tag works.
CO32!1one!!
the_millionaire_lebowski said,
November 12, 2007 at 3:49
Oh man, I just got over a cursory read of these comments. Hudnall and Swank should get together and write a book. They could call it, “Time never again for gay homo nups not.”
I propose a contest: tell us your best Hudnall-Swank phrase, and the winner gets to deface the Conservapedia article of his or her choice.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
November 12, 2007 at 3:50
Damnit, preview lied to me. It’s just like Harry Reid and Steny Hoyer.
Qetesh the Abyssinian said,
November 12, 2007 at 3:51
Candy, I too am surprisingly unable to drink the copious quantities of alcohol that were my staple when I was a kitten. At least, not without yunting and feeling like death for at least a day.
In fact, it was the two-day hangover a few years ago that made me decide to take it a little easier on the grog. Nothing like staggering around like a dehydrated corpse, moaning imprecations at noise-makers (and I was working on campus, mind you) and moving very carefully indeed, to make one rethink one’s previous devil-may-care attitude to potable poisons.
That’s potable, not potato-able, for anyone whose head is whirling with the dizzy delights offered by Teh Tuberous State. Personally, the only thing I think of when Idaho is mentioned is River Phoenix twitching in the middle of the road. And whenever I think of River Phoenix, I think of TISM and this song, played live on Greek instruments. You would never believe that hard rock could be played on the like of the oud and the balalaika, but it can. Not to mention the smashing plates, that indispensible prop of percussionists everywhere.
Excuse me, I’ve just overdosed on TISM, and now I think I need a lie down in a nice quiet room before my brain a-splodes.
g said,
November 12, 2007 at 3:52
um, what’s TISM [feeling stupid]?
lesley said,
November 12, 2007 at 3:55
This comment thread is approaching the weight of James Hudnull. Saying that makes me a terrible person, I know. I take it back. This thread isn’t fat.
Gundamhead said,
November 12, 2007 at 3:56
“This thread isn’t fat.”
It’s just big boned?
Arky - Worshiper of Cthulu said,
November 12, 2007 at 3:59
Vodka is both.
Marita said,
November 12, 2007 at 3:59
Hey, at least you all can drink. For some reason, the meds I’m on for asthma (which has gotten pretty bad for me this year), make it so I get sick after one or two drinks.
As a current ice hockey player, and a former rugby player, it’s very upsetting to not be able to booze it up.
mikey said,
November 12, 2007 at 4:00
um, what’s TISM
This Is Serious Mum.
You gotta be in the antipodes to get it.
I just happen to know a few peeps, who go a few places.
mikey
mikey said,
November 12, 2007 at 4:04
Oh, I should mention, lest you get the wrong idea.
I am NOT cool.
I have never been cool.
I have no hope of ever being cool.
If I am ever cool, and you care even the tiniest bit about me?
Kill me….
mikey
Smiling Mortician said,
November 12, 2007 at 4:04
Can’t disagree with any of the summaries and can safely say that lebowski now has no need to arse himself (ew?)
But Mikey, please don’t nuke Idaho. Friend of mine just moved to Pocatello to get his PhD. Nice person, really. It would suck if he blew up.
Candy said,
November 12, 2007 at 4:09
I don’t know what my deal is, Qetesh. It just seems that if I go beyond a gimlet or old fashioned before dinner, and a glass of wine with dinner, I either get a migraine or senselessly hammered with the predictable results. And for me, too, the hangovers have begun to take more than 24 hours to dissipate. Sad. Ah, for the days when I could ingest multiple poisons and still be more coherent than Ann Althouse.
I’ve sucked down four cans of sparkling water (sodium free!) and still feel dehydrated. Bah. I think I’ll take a nice shower and go to bed. I’ll write my paper in the morning.
Herr Doktor Bimler said,
November 12, 2007 at 4:13
“a situation awaits me.”
What kind of a sad-assed exit is that?? Cops pounding on the door?
His landing craft is about to run ashore on Omaha Beach. It’s the opening scene from ‘Saving Private Idaho’.
mikey said,
November 12, 2007 at 4:21
His landing craft is about to run ashore on Omaha Beach. It’s the opening scene from ‘Saving Private Idaho’.
And the heavy incoming facts are bouncing off his kevlar of stupidity and his armor of unreasoning belief without supporting evidence. The sound is a high-pitched ping, as the information that could inform and develop his worldview is simply deflected by the thick protection of his ignorance.
He returns fire with a full-auto burst of industry talking points, spraying the bunkers of logical research data with the pounding fire of unreasoning theology and the savage raking outgoing rounds of power-structure worship and bigoted hatred.
I predict the pinpoint artillery of science will sink his higgins boats and leave his soldiers of ignorance bobbing in the incoming surf..
mikey
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
November 12, 2007 at 4:21
Somebody’s gotta do it.
Might as well be me.
Snorghagen said,
November 12, 2007 at 4:27
376 comments?! What the hell’s been going on here?
Marita said,
November 12, 2007 at 4:30
Well, there was an appearance or two of the wingnut the thread is mocking, Idaho was discussed, and now we’re mocking Ann Althouse. Join us?
the_millionaire_lebowski said,
November 12, 2007 at 4:39
What’s so privet about Idaho?
That was great though.
en_dash said,
November 12, 2007 at 4:49
According to Hudnall, Sadly No! is a “German based blog”? Really? Is that why the hamsters have such a short work week?
Arky - Worshiper of The Great State of Cthulu said,
November 12, 2007 at 4:53
mikey said,
November 12, 2007 at 4:57
We are the battling bastards of the blogs
No mamas, no papas, no hate for wogs
No aunts, no uncles no cousins no nieces
No pills, no planes, no artillery pieces.
But at least we’ve got our grog…
a different brad said,
November 12, 2007 at 5:05
Geez, why didn’t you guys tell me ANN ALTHOUSE was talking about me again?
Marita, if Ga…. a little birdy were to photoshop Ann Althouse with a trex
I woulda different little bird would make a new facebook profile.jcricket said,
November 12, 2007 at 5:08
376 comments?! What the hell’s been going on here?
********
It’s a marathon and the wingnuts can’t keep up. The Big One who will probably make a big sammich, the one who fills his pants with an Idaho Spud (next time putting it in the front would be a better idea) and Ann Althouse, all have had to tag team while the community just does its normal thing. Chatting about stuff on the weekend.
..and this household too, is trying to get control of Mt. St. Laundry before it totally erupts.
Herr Doktor Bimler said,
November 12, 2007 at 5:10
a “German based blog”
No speed limit on the Autobahn, and no slowness limit on the S,N! servers!
Wir fahr’n fahr’n fahr’n auf der Autobahn
[Repeat]
Herr Doktor Bimler said,
November 12, 2007 at 5:15
thanks to its draconian gun ban.
And if you people like Draconia so much, why don’t you just move there? Eh?
SamFromUtah said,
November 12, 2007 at 5:22
79% of Idahoans identify as Christians according to wikipedia.
You realize a lot of those are Mormons, right?
Matt T. said,
November 12, 2007 at 5:22
It’s been a long time since I did that. I just can’t drink like I did when I was a sweet young thing. I’m gonna have to hang it up.
I’ve been booze-free for two years this month, and that’s pretty much why I quit it. I was a wild boy in college and through most of my ’20s, and y’all believe it when I say it, I had me a real good time. However, as that third decade loomed impossibly close, I’d gotten tired of being known as the kind of drunk that might: A. take his clothes off for no good reason, leap onstage with the band or something equally zany; B. buy the entire bar a round, be witty and charming; C. fucking punch your fucking teeth in, you fucking fucker. Honestly, I’m amazed I not only graduated college but somehow managed to avoid getting a criminal record.
That shit just gets old, though, and here in the Classic City, there’s plenty of would-be superstars who’ve stayed way too long at the party. So I cut back and the hangovers got worse. It wasn’t fair, main. Two beers and a glass of Wild Turkey, tops, and I’d be just as useless the next morning when I used to drink bottles of Wild Turkey in evenings. The whole soi-disant gonzo lifestyle was wearing thin. I was sick of what I’d chose for my career after doing it for 15 years. I’d just had my heartbroken by a woman I’d thought was the One, son, and , whooo, did I miss that one.
So, one night at a party, I just decided “Nah” and I haven’t had a drink since then. I don’t miss it at all, and that’s the strangest thing. I still go to see shows and I’ll occasionally join friends at one of the local bars, but I’m cool with my co-coler, thank you very much. My patience for them getting themselves three sheets only goes so far, I have to admit, but I still enjoy seeing people have a good time getting themselves fucked up. It’s too bad too many people in this town, from the frat rats to the townies, still feel need the to drink themselves incoherent.
So I smoke a lot of pot, don’t get hangovers, and don’t wake up in unfamiliar places with unexplained scars, strange women or some combination thereof. I also don’t write anymore, and impulse that dates from about the same time span. Just don’t want to, damnedest thing. Getting older is weird, man.
J— said,
November 12, 2007 at 5:23
Alright, who’s being mean to the professional writer with over 20 years of experience?
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
November 12, 2007 at 5:33
Alright, who’s being mean to the professional writer with over 20 years of experience?
I blame Ann Althaus.
P.S.the_millionaire_lebowski said,
November 12, 2007 at 4:39
If you liked Private Idaho, play this one too.
Some Guy said,
November 12, 2007 at 5:33
Does “hater” equal “coming here and pointing out that I”m an idiot”? I think it might. I haven’t been to the site, so I dunno. Maybe they are being really mean.
edub said,
November 12, 2007 at 5:33
Give Idaho a few years, when expat Californians sucking up Treasure Valley farmland for cheap housing and migrant farm laborers looking for the good life combine to create a permanent Democratic Majority in the Gem State. They’ll out number the Larouche wackos and Aryan survivalists at least 2 to 1.
Bank on it.
gbear said,
November 12, 2007 at 5:36
Matt, I just had my 23 year anniversary this week (last night I drank was seeing The Cure play at First Avenue on 11/7/84). Managed to pack a lifetime supply by then. I had a couple times where I jumpled up on stage too. My musician friends would tell me how funny it was and I’d say yea right and then s-l-o-w-l-y remember. When it started happening with a band I was actually the drummer for, I figured it was time to stop. A year later, I actually did. I don’t miss it at all.
Ex-Fed said,
November 12, 2007 at 5:37
Clearly the United States shouldn’t be in the business of geological surveys anyway. The private sector should run them. Private citizens should turn to private firms for all their geological surveying needs. The best geological surveying business will win.
Snorghagen said,
November 12, 2007 at 5:38
Like any red-blooded American, I’m always ready to mock Ann Althouse.
She recently posted a photo of herself at age 18. A classic sullen 1969 teenager pose – and I should know.
It’s hard to imagine that awkward kid of yesteryear growing into the sparkling, poised urbane sophisticate of today.
Moar Idaho Fun Facts said,
November 12, 2007 at 5:40
The state bird of Idaho is the anonymous cock.
The state fish of Idaho is the anonymous sucker.
‘Splains a lot.
Matt T. said,
November 12, 2007 at 5:46
“Leftist movies”?
Matt T. said,
November 12, 2007 at 5:51
My musician friends would tell me how funny it was and I’d say yea right and then s-l-o-w-l-y remember.
Oh, man, that’s the worst, isn’t it? That slow, sick, sinking feeling…”Dear Lord, I actually did do that, didn’t I? I am so sorry.” What’s worse is, with the weed stimulating the ol’ long-term memory in fits and starts, things that were previously brown blurs are bubbling when least expected. I am so glad I moved from Florida. No wonder them people though I was the devil.
People of the Future said,
November 12, 2007 at 5:52
You Maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!
J— said,
November 12, 2007 at 5:55
Leftist movies:
Righteous Bubba said,
November 12, 2007 at 5:55
“Leftist movies”?
You know, like My Left Foot.
Some Guy said,
November 12, 2007 at 5:56
Looks to me like someone was too stoned to hold the camera still. Freaking hippies.
gbear said,
November 12, 2007 at 5:58
Especially when they start laughing at you for not remembering. I think the bubbling up of old memories happens with or without the weed. I remember a whole lot now about the days that went by in a blur then.
Laundry is done here. I wonder if we’ve hit 400 comments yet.
Righteous Bubba said,
November 12, 2007 at 5:59
Re: Listen Up:
Personally, I find it rather sad that some people feel they have to go to a complete stranger’s place and insult them, just because they don’t share their views.
Bomb them and they welcome you with flowers.
mikey said,
November 12, 2007 at 6:00
I honestly admire you guys. I’ve gotten strung and quit everything from crank to brown tar to a couple different approaches to cocaine. I’ve slowly learned what I can’t do, but I simply am NOT willing to accept that there’s a reason to go on living in this shithole deathtrap without booze. Maybe if I was miserable in the morning as described, maybe then I’d consider it.
But I’ve been through incarceration, residential treatment/recovery programs and outpatient services. I’ve done my steps three times. And lemme tell you, the poor fuckers that had to read my fourth step had to understand we were gonna burn it as soon as he was done and his life hung in the balance of his willingness to accede to full secrecy. It was hard to get a sponser on my terms.
I’ve quit all sorts of things, but I always told ‘em, dude, if you think when this is over I’m going to eschew alcoholic beverages, you are seriously deluded. I’ll go straight to stay out of prison, but when the judge says I’m good to go, g’bye, motherfucker…
mikey
The Dark Avenger said,
November 12, 2007 at 6:00
- it’s the fear that somewhere, some people are having a slumber party that she wasn’t invited to, and that they are huddled in their sleeping bags making fun and gossiping about her.
I’m reminded of what Maugham wrote about Henry James in Cakes and Ale:
Some Guy said,
November 12, 2007 at 6:02
Someone needs a Kung-Fu Monkey link, J.
mikey said,
November 12, 2007 at 6:17
Christ.
407 comments in this thread.
At least SOME of which are NOT about Idaho…
mikey
pedestrian said,
November 12, 2007 at 6:18
Good for you, mikey
I always say, my mamma didn’t raise no quitters. That’s what I always say.
On an unrelated note, I’ve started praying to Ann Althouse. She’s more megalomaniacal than that other guy and I know she can hear me.
Still up, Ann?
gbear said,
November 12, 2007 at 6:19
Mikey, I was lucky. When I quit I had just gotten laid off from a job I hated and could afford to live on the unemployment for a while, so I had a time period where I could just spend days dealing with life in a positive way. I never went to a meeting or rehab, but I just realized while driving home at 3:00 one morning that I was going to have to choose between drinking and death. It suddenly seemed like an easy decision that night and even though life gets very sucky sometimes, that switch has been flipped off for good and I can’t and don’t want to (and don’t dare) go back.
Zsu Zsu said,
November 12, 2007 at 6:24
Every time a commenter posts as Ann Althouse, an angel gets its’ wings.
zsa said,
November 12, 2007 at 6:24
Please do not take Ann Althouse’s name in vain.
Stinky Wizzleteats said,
November 12, 2007 at 6:27
Wow, I go over there to smack James with a clue-by-four and I miss out on this enlightening discussion of Idaho, drinking, and whether Gavin smells like anuses. Waste of time, too. James erased my comments rather than respond. Maybe it was for rudeness (I am on my way from drunk to hungover, after all), but based on his oh-so-polite prose I’m guessing it was for the links to data and papers refuting his assertions.
Oh, and Matt, I’m one of those wild college types, still drunk from last night (which certainly helped bring me down a little closer to James’ level) and still trying to figure out the mechanics of how exactly I cut my fingers the way I did on my bass last night. But yeah, I can already tell I’m losing my edge on that and it’s only a matter of time before I complete my transition from pot-smoking drunk to raging pothead. Not exactly a bad thing, seeing as I can think and function while stoned and can’t do shit drunk. Of course, when I do give in to the stoned urge for data reduction my code is fifteen kinds of messy when I read it the next day, but it compiles and works. I’ll take what I can get.
Snorghagen, that picture brings to mind a saying my mom used to tell me: before 40 you have the face god gave you, after 40 you have the face you gave yourself.
Snorghagen said,
November 12, 2007 at 6:29
Hudnall wrote:
And he lived happily ever after.
Snorghagen said,
November 12, 2007 at 6:39
I think that’s roughly true.
pedestrian said,
November 12, 2007 at 6:41
Somehow I missed this little gem at the end of Hudnall’s bio:
This is his offical blog.
Oh, so warm and tasty…
- The uninteded irony of the poor man trying to modify “blog” with “official”.
- The bonus delight of seeing him hoisted by his own petarded spelling.
- The eerie loneliness lurking behind his use of the third-person.
Why are the worst writers always the most fun?
pedestrian said,
November 12, 2007 at 6:56
Yet, not one word about the omniscient barrel that athletes have for crushing down their aluminum cans.
SamFromUtah said,
November 12, 2007 at 7:13
Why are the worst writers always the most fun?
They can be fun, but they can be oh so painful. Sometimes they need help.
Robert Green said,
November 12, 2007 at 7:15
there are too many comments on this thread.
what? oh.
Lesley said,
November 12, 2007 at 7:57
Hudnall’s posted a pumpkin where his picture should be. Or is that the stagecoach he rode in on…
pedestrian said,
November 12, 2007 at 8:09
420 comments. hot damn!
[tokes]
Matt T. said,
November 12, 2007 at 8:23
#
pedestrian said,
November 12, 2007 at 8:09
420 comments. hot damn!
[tokes]
[joins]
*Cough* Next?
Snorghagen said,
November 12, 2007 at 8:30
[tokes]
[joins]
*Cough* Next?
[tokes]
Mmmph.
[passes]
Paddy Mac said,
November 12, 2007 at 8:38
I just loved the Idaho troll. Unable to stand watching Hudnall, the most sophisticated writer eveh in the history of Idaho’s (one) library, take a pounding via words, said troll launches into an irony-rich praise of repressed homo politicians and their misdemeanor bathroom importuning. He somehow thinks this makes Idaho look something other than pathetic. This post began by mocking a “writer” who couldn’t string two clauses together coherently, then received a bonus from a nasty-named troll who can’t tell a repressed closet case from a self-proclaimed family-values bigot. (Oh, wait, they’re the same person!)
Rightwingsnarkle said,
November 12, 2007 at 8:44
[tokes]
[joins]
*Cough*
Wha’….what were we talking about?
Stinky Wizzleteats said,
November 12, 2007 at 8:50
[tokes]
[joins]
*Cough*
I dunno, man.
[passes]
I’m kinda hungry.
owlbear1 said,
November 12, 2007 at 8:51
Wha’….what were we talking about?
What if O-I-N-G-O B-O-I-N-G-O spelled G-0-D…
g said,
November 12, 2007 at 8:54
She recently posted a photo of herself at age 18. A classic sullen 1969 teenager pose – and I should know.
Jeebus. I recently ran across some old documentation of my state of mind/physical being at that very era. The last thing I would do is show it to anybody. It’s cringeworthy.
Re: the drinking thing – well, the flesh is weak, brothers and sisters. And it’s probably hereditary, as well. My dear old mother still enjoys her early-evening martini, and I am fated to do the same.
We just came back from our obligatory social engagement, and I feel very sad because I just learned that a very nice lady of our acquaintance has been diagnosed with a particularly unpleasant form of cancer.
gbear said,
November 12, 2007 at 8:55
(drops the needle on the Todd Rundgren record “A Wizard, A True Star’ )
Dood, we were talking about how much Polar Bears love Carbon Extremists.
g said,
November 12, 2007 at 8:57
We’re making homemade pizza.
I made the dough before we left for the evening – now that we’re home, it’s just a matter of rolling out the dough, putting on the toppings and baking it.
C’mon over.
g said,
November 12, 2007 at 9:00
I just loved the Idaho troll.
I liked the Idaho troll’s triumphant sign-off. “Idaho RUUULLEES!”
That was the best!
I can almost see him doing the old Arsenio Hall show fist-pump.
Matt T. said,
November 12, 2007 at 9:02
[passes]
I’m kinda hungry.
[tokes]
*Coughs*
I think I got some pretzels. God, you know what I want? Deer tenderloin.
[passes]
Matt T. said,
November 12, 2007 at 9:15
And it’s probably hereditary, as well. My dear old mother still enjoys her early-evening martini, and I am fated to do the same
You know, I wonder about that sometimes. My family, both sides, comes with two minds towards alcohol. They’ve either never had a drink in their lives (all of the women and, for his reasons, my baby brother) or they’re raging, head-stomping, gun-shooting, work-missing, disappear-for-three-weeks, gambling, wife-beating goddamn drunks. My old man used to drink at a county line joint that had a lenghth of plywood laid across two barrells, a dozen stools, three card tables and a big ol’ fish cooler full of Old Milwaukee and that’s it. My grandfather drank himself into senility. One of my uncles got tore up and took shots at a bunch of us kids with an old 16 gauge full of birdshot, just ’cause the whim struck him. People ask me if anyone in my stone country family made and ran moonshine like Junior Jackson, and I say, “No, we were consumers.” My grandparents’ old house and homeplace is still riddled with hidden bottles of radiator moonshine, muscadine wine and Old Charter. My cousins were never violent, none of us are, but all of us went buck wild first chance we got.
And all of them have quit. And nobody talks about it. It’s like a big hole in my family’s history, sort of the redneck karmic equivalent of Nixon’s missing 18 minutes. Instead, they’ve all started going back to church.
*Shrug*
M. Bouffant said,
November 12, 2007 at 9:18
“A Wizard, A True Star.” One of my faves. Still sounds pretty good. One of the first CDs I purchased. Already had the LP. That’d be worth a puff.
And g, that’s why I never leave the house anymore. No news is good news.
Unsolicited booze advice: No mixed drinks, especially not mixed w/ sugary soft drinks. Lots of water, while boozing. Get a waterback w/ your whiskys, bourbons, ryes, etc., or have a glass of water between your appletinis. Don’t do it on a completely empty stomach. And you just aren’t going to be able to do it like you used to as you “mature.” Face it. And we’ll hope that your desire/need for oblivion isn’t as great as it was when you were younger. If it is, there’s always threatening others w/ violence. I’ve found that to be a stress reliever, ’cause you won’t have that job stressing you any longer.
Stinky Wizzleteats said,
November 12, 2007 at 9:20
I think I got some pretzels. God, you know what I want? Deer tenderloin.
[passes]
Yeeeeahhhhh… deer tenderloin. And, like, taro chips. Dude, those are so grubbin.
Stinky Wizzleteats said,
November 12, 2007 at 9:25
g,
I’d love some homemade pizza, but I already filled up on homemade Indian tacos. This is what happens when you room with a chicken-raising Japanese Jew.
And to add to M. Bouffants unsolicited booze advice: don’t mix too much pot and booze. It gives a lot of people (not all) wicked bad vertigo.
[takes out a flask and swigs it]
Mr. Bath Bear said,
November 12, 2007 at 9:25
Sorry I couldn’t come by earlier and help with the superlengthy thread, but apparently you all had it taken care of. Man, that Idaho troll sucked. It was like someone made a special Idaho version of that slideshow that runs between screenings at the cineplex—you know, the one that alternates idiotic movie quotes, stills from Big, anagrams for “Matt Damon” that don’t even spell anything (unless “Nam Tomdat” counts as spelling something), etc, with ads for local dry cleaners.
Ruthie said,
November 12, 2007 at 9:27
…a parody of wingnuts….
A murder of crows; and exultation of larks; an indictment of attorneys; a parody of wingnuts!
Works for me!
gbear said,
November 12, 2007 at 9:28
Matt, not saying this with any snark intended, but I hope that the church doesn’t make them as mean as the liquor did. Enjoy your 2yr anniversary.
Rightwingsnarkle said,
November 12, 2007 at 9:29
[tokes]
*Coughs*
I think I got some pretzels. God, you know what I want? Deer tenderloin.
[passes]
Ah, man…I dunno know if I could eat a deer tenderloin, man. It’s like….like eating Bambi or something, man.
[long pause]
Uh….what does deer tenderloin taste like, man?
g said,
November 12, 2007 at 9:32
Matt T you said something about Classic City – what city are you referring to?
M. Bouffant said,
November 12, 2007 at 9:32
Y’all are making me miss reefer now. Not the sharing it w/ retards part, just the higher spiritual plane. Wish I had some food, too.
M. Bouffant said,
November 12, 2007 at 9:34
Is it Athens? I was wondering too.
M. Bouffant said,
November 12, 2007 at 9:36
Looks like fun, if it is.
M. Bouffant said,
November 12, 2007 at 9:38
Hey, wait a minute, flat-track? That can’t be any good!
M. Bouffant said,
November 12, 2007 at 9:39
OK, four posts in a row from me, this is over!!
gbear said,
November 12, 2007 at 9:42
‘Rink of Fire?’ Sounds like Popeye named that one.
g said,
November 12, 2007 at 9:44
I already filled up on homemade Indian tacos.
Do you mean Indian as in tacos with chicken tandori? Or Indian as in with frybread?
Although either one would be totally delicious.
M Bouffant, the water back idea is, of course, the key to drunk maintenance.
I once stopped drinking for about 6 months. It was weird. I just decided not to. So I didn’t. Then, the thing I was doing for a living changed, and I moved to another place to live, and I began to drink again.
I spent about 2 years in the 80’s doing some serious coke. Then I stopped. A good friend pulled me aside one day and said, “I’m not liking the person you’ve become.” It really made me wake up.
It was funny, cuz back when I was doing coke, it was almost like I had super X-ray vision – I could walk into a scene and tell immediately who was also a cokehead; tell who had it on them that night; tell who was strung out and who was OK, and I imagine they could all tell it about me.
Then after I quit, it was kind of like losing one of your senses. I would go to work and someone would say, “Did you check out so-and-so – he was totally gacked out!” and I would go – “No way! how could you tell?”
My job at the time I was doing coke involved a lot of travel. And about 10 years after quitting, I travelled again for work to a place where I had scored some coke.
At the job-site, this guy I knew back then came up to me and said something like, “hey, let me know if you need anything.” Wink wink nod nod.
The funny thing was – I was so far distant from those times that I actually did not know what he was talking about! The first thing that entered my mind was that I needed to do my laundry, and I briefly thought about calling him to see if he had a washing machine at his place!
Then I went, Oh, Shit, he thinks I want to buy some drugs!
pedestrian said,
November 12, 2007 at 9:44
Uh….what does deer tenderloin taste like, man?
Well… lets just say it does not taste like chicken. *giggle* Know whaddamean?
Maybe… maybe somewhere between beef and turkey, but like the dark meat on the turkey. No… *giggle*
Now squirrel, that can be tasty. Fry it up real crispy. Mmmm-mmm.
[notices spliff in hand, smiles sheepishly]
heh, sorry guys
[tokes and passes]
Herr Doktor Bimler said,
November 12, 2007 at 9:45
Syndicalist said,
We had the collective-noun discussion a while back
Here’s the thread. I liked Jambo’s suggestion:
I think the collective noun is “a ream of dildos”.
It was worth going back to that thread and encountering the final comment:
preznit giv me turkee said,
and i believe the collective is “The Bush Administration”.
Ruthie said,
November 12, 2007 at 9:46
The more I think about it, the more I think that this guy’s graphic novels represent the perfect medium for wingnuttia. Most of their favorite points can be reduced to a monosyllabic four-color action signifier like WHAM! ZOOM! POW! The transition from four-color to the dark and sepia tones of graphic novelists perfectly signifies their heavy burden of self-seriousness. Plus, the jutting-titted women of the comics NEVER laugh at you or throw their drink on your favorite Members Only jacket or get a restraining order from a liberal judge.
But you know the real draw for wingnuttia’s closeted fanatics will be the buff male protagonists in leotards, and their juvenile sidekicks.
g said,
November 12, 2007 at 9:48
‘Rink of Fire?’
MMmmmm. Sounds like the name of an Ice Show set to Johnny Cash tunes.
Matt T. said,
November 12, 2007 at 9:55
Uh….what does deer tenderloin taste like, man?
[tokes]
It tastes like deer. *Shrug* It’s goooood.
g & M.Bouffant,
Yeah, Athens, GA, home of R.E.M., The Drive-By Truckers. Widespread Panic and about eleventy-thousand other bands. It’s a groovy little town, though I must admit that if I can ever figure out where I wanna go next (and what to do with myself once I get there), I’m splitting, toot sweet. I’ve been here for eight years now and it’s just time to go.
And I know a couple of those Roller Girls and one of the refs, though I haven’t seen them do their thing. Ain’t gonna, neither, unless there’s guaranteed sugar involved. Another weird quirk about getting older and not drinking anymore is that I cannot watch violence anymore. Boxing, contact karate, stuff like that. Football, sure. Movie violence, okay. But actual people actually trying to hurt each other? I just can’t hack it.
I’m glad they enjoy themselves, though, and more power to ‘em. There’s a lot of stuff like that here. Burlesque troupes, comedy troupes, bellydancer troupes and tons of friggin; bands. And all of ‘em go see each other. It’s pretty damn cool.
gbear,
Nah. It seems to be more or less positive, if just that it gets ‘em all out of the house and involved with other people. The funny part is them asking me – the black sheep and atheist – questions about certain statements made by the preacher or fellower congregationalists and the how’s and why’s such statements don’t actually synch up with the Bible. I tell ‘em it’s cause the bulk of what passes for modern Christianity is made up by yay-hoos with decidedly non-spiritual goals.* I honestly do not mean to do this, but I think I’m slowly erroding my mother’s faith. They’re funny as hell, though. Momma says that because the congregation can’t reconcile Jesus going to Hell for three days, they all decided that He went not to Hell, but “Hades”. I start to tell her “Momma, you can’t do that,” but then realize, hell, it’s not like she’s the first one to just decide that.
* As opposed to, well, all of it, to be quite honest, but you know what I mean. Shit like Jesus actually hating the Soviety Union or whatnot.
M. Bouffant said,
November 12, 2007 at 9:57
Ah, the coke weasel’s sixth sense. Too bad those powers couldn’t be used for good.
And I hope we all know that the “ring of fire” is what happens when you reach for the KY but grab the Ben Gay.
Ruthie said,
November 12, 2007 at 9:58
barbell said,
Re Althouse: that she would post a coy photo of herself from the seventies below a headline about Mailer’s death is so ridiculously narcissistic. Gods, I’m surprised the woman isn’t thrilled that people are using her nick in this forum. She loves attention.
That photo was taken in the seventies? Jebus, Outhouse’s puppies must look like “National Geographic Specials” by now….
M. Bouffant said,
November 12, 2007 at 10:02
Matt T.: It’s Roller Derby, like pro ‘rasslin’, can’t be any more violent than football.
And I used to really like that Wild Turkey too.
g said,
November 12, 2007 at 10:03
Ah, the coke weasel’s sixth sense. Too bad those powers couldn’t be used for good.
Yeah, I was surprised that it went away when I stopped. In a comic book world, my experience would inform a new anti-drug crusader. Instead, I just stopped seeing it. It truly was like losing a sense. Or maybe like totally forgetting a language I used to speak.
Even now, though, it makes me realize that there’s probably so much going on under my nose that I don’t comprehend. This would scare me, except in a way, I think it’s probably OK. You only see what your mental-emotional state sees. If I’m not seeing bad things, then maybe my state of mind is pretty OK.
Herr Doktor Bimler said,
November 12, 2007 at 10:06
Ring of Fire? Extra-hot venison vindaloo + 3 pints of Kingfisher Strong.
Hoosier X said,
November 12, 2007 at 10:08
I am so upset that I missed this thread.
Stinky Wizzleteats said,
November 12, 2007 at 10:08
Do you mean Indian as in tacos with chicken tandori? Or Indian as in with frybread?
Curry chicken, actually. Put it on top of a little mild cheese on a couple small tortillas, fry it up til the cheese is melted.
[tokes and passes spliff]
Hey, wait, did someone say this was a spliff? Who rolled the tobacco in there?
g said,
November 12, 2007 at 10:13
Curry chicken, actually. Put it on top of a little mild cheese on a couple small tortillas, fry it up til the cheese is melted.
That would be good using some paneer instead of american-style cheese, and maybe some raita. A bit of mango pickle? Yum.
Ok. I don’t have Vet’s day off, so I have to go to bed and get up for work tomorrow.
Ruthie said,
November 12, 2007 at 10:23
Of course, we really know what this is about. I’ve looked over your blog and you spend a lot of time insulting people you don’t agree with and trying to demean them. As if this some how makes your position loftier.
All that does is reveal a contempt you have for other humans. And a deep seated insecurity about yourself.
The fact that the current writers’ strike in Hollywood has rendered television an even vaster cultural wasteland than usual has absolutely no bearing on the glee with which the denizens of Sadly, No! have deconstructed your recent columns. We’re all just insecure, contemptuous and envious of your success. {Striking Hedda Gabler pose…}
Ruthie said,
November 12, 2007 at 10:48
Idaho is the best state in the union. It has a Republican Governor Butch Otter, a Republican Lieutenant Governor, Republicans control all major State Offices and both houses of the Idaho State Legislature, and in the U.S. Senate both Idaho Senators are Republicans and both members of the House of Representives are Republicans. And best of all the overwhelming majority of Idaho citizens are registered Republicans. I wish all states were as Conservative as Idaho.
…Where all the men have wide stances, strong streams, and will pay for the privilege of administering blow jobs!
Ruthie said,
November 12, 2007 at 11:04
79% of Idahoans identify as Christians according to wikipedia.
But fewer than 10 % of all Idahoans attend church on any given Sunday.
Idaho is the fastest-growing vacation/retirement venue for CA gays.
Idaho may be all gung ho on the 2nd Amendment, but in PA they used to let kids take their rifles to school during deer season.
Idaho is one of three states in the lower 48 that still have grizzlies because–despite Idaho’s love of guns–the wiley bears find drunk hunters easier to catch than elk.
Lesley said,
November 12, 2007 at 11:30
…Where all the men have wide stances, strong streams, and will pay for the privilege of administering blow jobs!
and the sheep are nervous~ especially the male ones…erp.
Lesley said,
November 12, 2007 at 12:19
Read this and weep.
It makes me so angry I could something. Something that looks like George Bush.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
November 12, 2007 at 14:51
And in the on dick circle…
Lawnguylander said,
November 12, 2007 at 16:48
Aren’t the Drive-by-Truckers from Alabama, Matt T?
Wherever they’re from, they’re a great band.
My Sweet Anette
Lookout Mountain
Puttin’ People on the Moon
jimmiraybob said,
November 12, 2007 at 16:58
But I suppose the United States Geological Survey has been co-opted by secret agents working for Al Gore and just made up these figures. . .
Geologists often drink beer and are irreverent and iconoclastic. They often collect empirical facts and base their conclusions on those facts. They are responsible for understanding fossils and the concept of geological time. Classic islamocommiegeofascist behavior.
Doodle Bean said,
November 12, 2007 at 17:16
I’ve been in Idaho three times:
- stranded for two days in Coeur D’Alene in 1980. Was so creeped out by everyone I met that I just kept my head down, hung out by the lake and read/re-read the only book I had until the Greyhound finally arrived.
- Rafted the Middle Fork of the Salmon River with a couple of native Idahoans. The woman was so weak that she was useless – she couldn’t even carry a small backpack. She could plaster on makeup and do her hair in the middle of the River of No Return wilderness, though. Her husband, our ‘experienced, certified river guide’, was so incompetent that he steered the raft right into rock after rock – again and again and again as real river guides steered their rafts around us. At the end of the trip, the guy denied all wrong-doing and insisted on getting paid his full fee even though it was the single worst rafting experience of my life. (I actually met one of the other guides who had been on the river that week about a decade later and he still remembered the overly made-up woman and incompetent guide — apparently we were the talk of the river for years to come! That Idahoan asshole became the stuff of legend and cautionary tales).
- Driving through on my way back to from a research stint in WA with a couple of colleagues. We had to pee, so stopped at this bar full of creepy guys drinking in the middle of the day. That’s kind of standard, but what really gave the heebies and the jeebies were the hundreds of forked sticks from which the bark had been stripped except for a dark triangle at the crotch (hint: they looked like naked women’s legs). Hundreds of them propped in corners, lying on the bar, hanging on the walls. Big ones. Small ones. Everywhere. You. Looked.
My colleague and I just left and held it in until we go to Montana.
So, some folks might think of Idaho as a great state, but I’ll beg to differ.
Principal Blackman said,
November 12, 2007 at 18:06
O/T, but funny to me: the Blogs for Bush gang have unveiled their latest project: Blogs for Victo(r)y. It’s like a cross between a Gap ad campaign and the Victory Carcass…er, Victory Caucus. Fantastic.
pedestrian said,
November 12, 2007 at 18:21
Doodle, your third story reminds me of an experience driving across the “Alabama in the middle” of PA, between Pittsburgh and Philly.
My boyfriend and I had been driving for nearly an hour down a stretch of rural highway without seeing anything that you could even call a town. Just barns and churches. Just when we were beginning to think that there were more churches in the world than people, we came across a ramshackle bar on the side of the road.
It was about noon but the place was packed with drinkers. We really only wanted to use the bathroom, but felt rude not ordering anything, so we asked for some pie and coffee.
Suddenly I felt a prickle down my spine and I realize that everyone had stopped talking. They were all staring at us. We aren’t particularly flamboyant, so I don’t know if they saw “interracial gay couple” or just “city folk” but there was murder in the room. The woman behind the bar just wiped at imaginary spots furiously and set her mouth in a hard line.
I began to notice just how many dead animals were packed into that small space. I mean, I grew up in the south. I’ve been around hunters all my life. This was something different. Several of the men had guns, and I got the feeling that the rest of them had one right outside in the truck. One man stood up suddenly, still staring at us, and walked out. I ate a bite of pie that tasted like mothballs and baking soda and hesitated a few seconds before swallowing.
I put on my best fake smile and turned to Alberto. I think we should go. Now. We tried to look casual until we got outside, then we broke into a power walk to the car. I have never felt so certain that I might be lynched in my life
t4toby said,
November 12, 2007 at 18:35
475 comments? I really need to get my own computer.
I’m not even going to look, but I assume there was some hot Troll on Troll action?
Idaho is weird. I lived in Sand Point for a year. I always felt like I was constantly being scrutinized. For what? I’m not sure.
MrWonderful said,
November 12, 2007 at 18:42
…and several butcher’s aprons.
Righteous Bubba said,
November 12, 2007 at 18:50
W. Burt Prelutsky is an accomplished, well-rounded writer and author of Conservatives Are from Mars (Liberals Are from San Francisco): 101 Reasons I’m Happy I Left the Left.
[...]Another thing that confounds me on a regular basis is when American blacks insist that whites are racist. After all, I don’t see whites marching in the streets every time some white thug is arrested. But the only reason that blacks ever demonstrate is to indicate solidarity with the likes of Rodney King, O.J. Simpson, Michael Vick or the punks known as the Jena Six. It seems to me that when one’s basis for moral outrage is predicated solely on having similar pigmentation, we’re talking racism.[...]
pedestrian said,
November 12, 2007 at 18:54
Yeah, there haven’t been any black anti-war protesters. Jeez…
lobbey said,
November 12, 2007 at 19:00
this is some thread, the drinking theme is something we were talking about today. I’m beginning to seriously struggle with crappy, bad hangovers, I was never a great drinker, but its really getting sad now. A month or so ago, since I’m having to work like a bastard right now, I thought, lets chuck the alcohol for a week or so. Lo and behold, the hangovers were fucken worse, and I felt seriously crappy every morning. Additionally, as a decedent eurabian type, life with out decent wine is so so boring, so four days into the experiment, i went straight back on the booze.
t4toby said,
November 12, 2007 at 19:01
W. Burt Prelutsky is an asshat.
lobbey said,
November 12, 2007 at 19:05
as you can guess from the post……
and I have to add, you hippy types toking are making me really, really jealous…
Ruthie said,
November 12, 2007 at 19:13
My boyfriend and I had been driving for nearly an hour down a stretch of rural highway without seeing anything that you could even call a town. Just barns and churches. Just when we were beginning to think that there were more churches in the world than people, we came across a ramshackle bar on the side of the road.
Suddenly I felt a prickle down my spine and I realize that everyone had stopped talking. They were all staring at us. We aren’t particularly flamboyant, so I don’t know if they saw “interracial gay couple” or just “city folk” but there was murder in the room. The woman behind the bar just wiped at imaginary spots furiously and set her mouth in a hard line.
I began to notice just how many dead animals were packed into that small space. I mean, I grew up in the south. I’ve been around hunters all my life. This was something different. Several of the men had guns, and I got the feeling that the rest of them had one right outside in the truck. One man stood up suddenly, still staring at us, and walked out. I ate a bite of pie that tasted like mothballs and baking soda and hesitated a few seconds before swallowing.
Sounds like the part of the Redneck “T” in PA where I grew up–which can best be described as “Deliverance” without the exceptional banjo music provided by Bela Fleck. It is STILL like that in many places. There are also some “unwritten rules” pertaining to bars in that area:
(1) Women do not enter bars alone–unless they are providing a “service” to the male patrons. (The “service” can include anything from bussing tables to enter-your-guess-here.)
(2) When drinking, people tend to stick with their own. (The Eye-talians hang out at the Eye-talian-owned bars, etc.)
(3) Drinking, while widely engaged in, is publicly frowned upon by most of the evangelicals. They have a “thing” about being caught in mid-hypocrisy by total strangers, and often can be found in dark dives where decent people wouldn’t be caught dead. If you patronized one of the bars on a certain 12-mile stretch of Route 220, the food generally sucks, there are peepshows in the back room, and a brisk underground trade is conducted in fluorescent condoms, vibrators and fur-lined cock rings for “bachelor parties.” (Wink, wink.)
t4toby said,
November 12, 2007 at 19:13
THC =
Total
Hangover
Cure
t4toby said,
November 12, 2007 at 19:13
THC =
Total
Hangover
Cure
Marita said,
November 12, 2007 at 19:25
Curing your hangover, there, Toby?
a different mikey said,
November 12, 2007 at 19:34
Since this thread looks like it may overcome us all I guess I’ll add on.
I think Idaho is beautiful and y’all are way off base. My first time there was a 12 day hike in the Salmon River Wilderness Area and it was absolutely spectacular. We flew some food in to a ranger station and then hiked to it. We saw not one person for that first six days, the weather and scenery were perfect, the trails good. We saw moose, elk, deer, tracks of bear but no bear, caught and ate lots of golden trout, swam naked in icy glacial ponds above 8000 feet.
At the ranger station the bored firejumpers had built a sauna by a creek. They heated it up for us because we had a bong and they were eager. You could get up to 200F and then go out and do push-ups in the creek. Excellent!
Since then I’ve been back a half dozen times and never had less than a great time. Get out of your cars and do a little walking, Idaho is really great.
Garrigus Carraig said,
November 12, 2007 at 19:36
It has a name: “Pennsyltucky”.
Mary Ruppert said,
November 12, 2007 at 19:46
Is this the longest Sadly, No! thread ever?
The Prussian Blue Thread is only 372 comments long.
pedestrian said,
November 12, 2007 at 19:52
diff mikey:
All of the most beautiful places seem to be inhabited by the scariest people. Utah is another good example. I some half-baked theories about why thats so, but I’m too holiday-lazy to talk out my ass just now.
I do think that it is a problem with our larger, urban-oriented culture, not just rednecks.
Doodle Bean said,
November 12, 2007 at 19:53
Pedestrian,
You did a better job of describing the creeps than I could ever do! Lookit me, I is a professional writer!
And a different mikey,
I have no complaints about the natural beauty of Idaho. You might notice that all my stories dealt with the creepiness of the people of Idaho.
SamFromUtah said,
November 12, 2007 at 19:54
I think Idaho is beautiful and y’all are way off base.
I agree insofar as it’s never a good thing to generalize about a state – or any group of people – based on the most extreme elements. I mean, look where I’m posting from – I like Utah a lot but it has just as nasty a rep to the Real People in non-flyover states as Idaho does.
I’ll say one good thing for Idaho: Napoleon Dynamite.
Duros62 said,
November 12, 2007 at 20:01
Personally, I think next year I’m backing The Sneeze, should he be nominated again.
Yes, me too. Even if he isn’t.
tb said,
November 12, 2007 at 20:07
I think that happened in spite of Idaho. The state seems to exist to prevent things like that from happening.
t4toby said,
November 12, 2007 at 20:12
The beauty of Idaho is undisputed.
The residents? Disputed.
My daughter’s grandparents live in Couer d’Alene.
Nice, but a little holier than thou. And there’ye the liberal ones.
t4toby said,
November 12, 2007 at 20:13
Or, more to the point, Uncle Rico.
Stinky Wizzleteats said,
November 12, 2007 at 20:14
[lurches awake, empty flask in one hand, bag of pretzels on the other]
Huh? Wha…?
Ow….
Man. T4by, don’t bogart that hangover cure.
K. Ron Silkwood said,
November 12, 2007 at 20:15
Now 496 comments. Will comments about Idaho put this over 500?
t4toby said,
November 12, 2007 at 20:18
I’m pulling for weed/hangover comments to break the 500 mark.
I would gladly share whatever bounty I may have. Only problem is you’ll have to get yourself to beautiful downtown White Center, WA.
(motto: Not so White, Not so Central)
Snorghagen said,
November 12, 2007 at 20:18
Nah… I’ve seen too many exceptions to that rule.
In any event, the reverse is definitely not true – I’ve seen plenty of pig-butt ugly places that were populated by extreme creeps.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
November 12, 2007 at 20:19
Either Idaho, or booze.
t4toby said,
November 12, 2007 at 20:20
Boo-yah!
arky said,
November 12, 2007 at 20:20
West Virginia, Pennsylvania.
Pretty states, scary residents, but I think the established people are just naturally wary of strangers, especially The Government. Or put another way, they don’t “fake” nice. In WVA, they get a lot of tourists. I find the average tourist to be an obnoxious ass and I can’t imagine what it’s like to have to keep some outdoor adventure poseur type from killing himself while he’s making Deliverance jokes.
Once they realize you aren’t there to judge, make them do anything they don’t want to, rip them off or laugh at them, they’re just plain nice people.
Snorghagen said,
November 12, 2007 at 20:20
Whoo-eee! I was #500! I’m so cool my teeth hurt.
Hoosier X said,
November 12, 2007 at 20:22
504 comments!
If only Bruce were here to see this!
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
November 12, 2007 at 20:24
I think there is a ‘long-thread’ of over a thousand comments down in the basement somewheres.
Apparently, the gang got good and hungover this weekend.
gbear said,
November 12, 2007 at 20:28
I think the key difference between Different Mikey’s story about Idaho and the other stories was “We saw not one person for that first six days” until you connected with the firejumpers. People who work in parks and wilderness areas tend to be quite a bit more connected to the world than the people who live in the middle of nowhere around the parks. Sounds like most of the river guides had it together too except for the makeup lady and her hubby.
As a gay man and a non-drinker, I try to avoid the bars out in the sticks unless they have good food. Not drinking is a big strike against you from the start; you’re not willing to be one of the boys. Add that to the mindset that Ruthie was talking about and it can be less than fun.
Simba B said,
November 12, 2007 at 20:34
Last time I remember something like this was when Dogstar stopped by. Perhaps that’s what you were thinking of, thunder?
Doodle Bean said,
November 12, 2007 at 20:36
I second you, gbear. The guide I met by chance long after said that there was actually some discussion of ‘rescuing’ me and my boyfriend from the Idahoans since we were obviously miserable and they were so obviously incompetent.
Sadly, they all were working for adventure companies which only had policies for rescuing people who were actually in danger from dangerous stuff — not from anger and frustration.
Ah, good times! Good times!
gbear said,
November 12, 2007 at 20:42
Right after sending that post about ‘bars out in the sticks’ I realized that it applies to about 60% of the bars here in St. Paul too. I guess the only difference being is the city is that you don’t have to drive 70 miles to find a bar you feel comfortable in.
MzNicky said,
November 12, 2007 at 20:45
Wait a minute. “Blogs for Victo(r )y? WTF? Wherefore the “r” in parens? I mean, I can fully understand ejecting the “Bush” part, but — wha-? Don’t make no sense.
Smiling Mortician said,
November 12, 2007 at 20:46
I would gladly share whatever bounty I may have. Only problem is you’ll have to get yourself to beautiful downtown White Center, WA.
Now we’re talking, Toby. I can be there in an hour, give or take, depending on whether this storm blows me off the road. What shall I bring?
a different mikey said,
November 12, 2007 at 20:47
I guess I just don’t find country folks scary. I’ve walked all over Utah and sure those folks are nuts but they’re not scary. I’ve been disconcerted by the young ladies in the stores and restaurants that look at one with hungry calculating eyes as if you might be their ticket out of town but even they aren’t scary.
Warmongers, torturers, politicians, they’re the ones that scare me.
Woohoo, approaching Dogstar dimensions, we’re having fun now.
Marita said,
November 12, 2007 at 20:51
Hmmm… in this comment thread over at the Altblog, Our Lady of the Vortex calls Gavin a “candyass phony”.
This just in: Ann Althouse thinks Gavin M. has a sweet, sweet ass! Spread the word!
MzNicky said,
November 12, 2007 at 20:51
I demand a new thread now!! Now, I say! Enough with the Hudnut and the retardo trolls and the Idaho and what have you! Where are these guys, anyway? Out listenin’ ta Mick Jagger music and runnin’ down their country I bet. And here it is Veterans Day besides.
t4toby said,
November 12, 2007 at 20:53
Are you coming from the North? Because I heard Bellingham is in for 80 mph winds.
We should have our own NW Sadly party when all the Bostonites have their shin-dig.
Smiling Mortician said,
November 12, 2007 at 20:55
Warmongers, torturers, politicians, they’re the ones that scare me.
I tend to find more people who admire the above in small towns tucked away in some of those naturally beautiful places, though. And the scary part is that they can be pretty homogeneous in their approval of authoritarians and disapproval of DFH types . . . I’ve always assumed it’s a leftover from the frontier mentality.
g said,
November 12, 2007 at 20:57
I’ve had nothing but pleasant times visiting West Virginia. Spent some time in Wheeling.
Idaho – like I said, the drive-through & motel stay is my only experience.
Would be happy to have a second chance – at a different motel.
Crissa said,
November 12, 2007 at 21:02
A couple volcanoes, sure… Like a couple supervolcanoes, maybe. We haven’t had one of those in a few hundred thousand years.
Maybe 11,000 years ago, but no one has found one that matches.
gbear said,
November 12, 2007 at 21:03
Umm, yesterday was Veteran’s Day. Today is lollygag day.
Doodle Bean said,
November 12, 2007 at 21:10
a different mikey,
Try being a young female wandering around town alone and those hungry eyes have a completely different meaning! Especially when backed up by comments such as, “Are you planning on locking your door tonight?”, “I’m not sure I should sell that to you – you aren’t from around here” and “You’re alone?!?!?”
Your mileage has varied without your even knowing it!
t4toby said,
November 12, 2007 at 21:12
Hoo-boy. i just went and read that Althouse comment thread.
You can tell she’s a lawyer. The only rhetorical skill she has is the ad hominem attack.
Smiling Mortician said,
November 12, 2007 at 21:13
Nope, Toby. I’m south of you, out on the coast. A truly beautiful storm has been whipping up since last night. But my son is in Bellingham, so I probably ought to give him a call.
Agreed on teh Sadly Northwest idea — I think there’s a fair crowd of us out here.
Nullifidian said,
November 12, 2007 at 21:16
Wait a minute. “Blogs for Victo(r )y? WTF? Wherefore the “r” in parens? I mean, I can fully understand ejecting the “Bush” part, but — wha-? Don’t make no sense.
Perhaps it’s a shoutout to the Blogs for Bush owner’s new special friend, a boytoy named Vic. Hence Victoy, and he thought adding r in parentheses would be a subtle touch.
Bistroist said,
November 12, 2007 at 21:17
Mary Ruppert @ 19:46 said
Is this the longest Sadly, No! thread ever?
You’ll be wanting the long thread thunder mentioned. Still some way to go, but that one has been running on low intensity for more than two years now.
Nullifidian said,
November 12, 2007 at 21:18
Wait a minute. “Blogs for Victo(r )y? WTF? Wherefore the “r” in parens? I mean, I can fully understand ejecting the “Bush” part, but — wha-? Don’t make no sense.
Perhaps it’s a shoutout to the Blogs for Bush owner’s new special friend, a boytoy named Vic. Hence Victoy, and he thought adding r in parentheses would be a subtle touch.
Now, aside from the snarky reason, the real reason is probably to put “R” in the usual political abbreviation for identifying Republican politicians (e.g. Sam Brownback – (R) Kansas). So it should be read as “Blogs for [Republican] Victory”.
Ann Althouse said,
November 12, 2007 at 21:18
One of the main things that draws me to writing about something is the desire to make fun of people who are taking themselves too seriously, like those bloggers who were so dorkily proud to be lunching with Clinton.
Nullifidian said,
November 12, 2007 at 21:18
Sorry for the double post.
Totally Ann Althouse said,
November 12, 2007 at 21:20
I am not the shrill partisan hack you make me out to be. I am a Very Serious Person.
Don’t believe me? Have you seen my groundbreaking Vlogging? You don’t look at American Idol and Box Wine the same now, do you?
I though so.
scooby doo said,
November 12, 2007 at 21:21
Ruh-roh.
The Real Ann Althouse said,
November 12, 2007 at 21:24
Parody of public figures is one of the first signs that we are being taken over by the Islamofacists.
How dare you steal my much vaunted identity. This is character assassination! I have ways to make you pay!
Beth said,
November 12, 2007 at 21:25
Relax, Althouse. We actually thrive in an environment where our name means nothing.
Scooby Doo said,
November 12, 2007 at 21:26
Rime really rired of rese rexists rand rogists realing ry ridentity!
Hoosier X said,
November 12, 2007 at 21:29
I, too, find this to be an inane statement. Look at all those brave black men and women who ignore the insults and catcalls of their powerless brethren as they stand up for that truly downtrodden and neglected American, the rich whitey?
Pity the rich white man, as he has so little to comfort him in his valiant fight to win back his rights to own black men and his right to say whatever words he wants without someone suggesting he is less than godly for saying them. It is an uphill battle for the rich whitey to continue the struggle to get back the ten percent of the privileges he has lost since the late 1700s. (Look at how hard the rich white man has to work just to find enough stupid people to buy the whole “downtrodden white man” thing! That alone shows he deserves his wealth!)
Prelutsky is doing a great disservice to valiant activists like Condolleezzaa Rriiccee, Colin Powell, Clarence Thomas, Larry Elder, Thomas Sowell and many other great black men and women when he disses the capacity of the Negro to sympathize with the downtrodden.
a different mikey said,
November 12, 2007 at 21:31
Doodlebean:
“Try being a young female”
Well I guess that’s something I never have tried. I bet it wouldn’t work though.
Jeez, what do we gotta do to get a new thread around here, huh?
Dan Someone said,
November 12, 2007 at 21:31
You can tell she’s a lawyer. The only rhetorical skill she has is the ad hominem attack.
Hey now. Some of us lawyers don’t rely on ad hominem to make our point, you festering pus-hole.
t4toby said,
November 12, 2007 at 21:32
Shorter Every Althouse Post:
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard.
Robert Culp said,
November 12, 2007 at 21:35
Hoosier X, you forgot Bill Cosby.
Dan Someone said,
November 12, 2007 at 21:35
I find it especially amusing that in a comment thread where La Althouse pegs S,N! as sexist, her sycophants recommend that she make herself feel better by going out and buying a cute blouse.
MzNicky said,
November 12, 2007 at 21:36
Umm, yesterday was Veteran’s Day.
D’oh! Well, that tears it. I’m going to go take a nap.
Ann Althouse said,
November 12, 2007 at 21:37
t4toby you are missing my charm. Look! I’m whimsical!
t4toby said,
November 12, 2007 at 21:38
Sorry, Mr Toothy Embalmer, I was too busy having an imaginary conversation with my straw(wo)men.
We should certainly have a NW Sad-fest. Then I won’t feel so left out with all this talk about the difference re: Cambridge/Boston.
MzNicky said,
November 12, 2007 at 21:38
Nullifidian: Well, that would explain it.
gbear said,
November 12, 2007 at 21:41
‘Jeez, what do we gotta do to get a new thread around here, huh?’
I’ve been wondering the same thing. Maybe we all just have to be quiet for a while. A puppy doesn’t get his treat while he’s excitedly jumping around for it, he has to sit quietly for a moment until he hears “Good Boy!’ and gets the treat and gets to start jumping around excitedly again.
t4toby said,
November 12, 2007 at 21:41
I don’t want to even think about what kind of hell you had to go through to find that post, RB.
The term ‘dreck’ comes to mind.
mikey said,
November 12, 2007 at 21:45
Re: Beautiful/Ugly places populated by ugly people.
I usually traveled around the west on a scooter, in leathers, long hair, belt knife, you know “the look”, so while locals frequently tended to scowl and curse under their breath, they also tended to cross the street rather than engage. Local cops, of course, are a completely other thing.
But then, one fine spring evening I was rolling west on 10 and stopped in a bar in Las Cruces, New Mexico, and within 20 minutes was beaten unconscious and dumped in the dirt parking lot by my scoot.
Hmm. Was it something I said, fellas?
mikey
actor212 said,
November 12, 2007 at 21:46
Has anyone seen James Hudnall and Jonah Goldberg at the same “All You Can Eat” buffet?
Or do they have some territorial agreement?
Smiling Mortician said,
November 12, 2007 at 21:48
Damn. Cross “whimsical” off the list. Another perfectly good word ruined.
t4toby said,
November 12, 2007 at 21:53
Who knew that ‘whimsical’ means the same thing as ‘mortally confused’?
mikey, I’m having trouble visualizing the scooter and you in the same thought.
gbear said,
November 12, 2007 at 21:56
t4t, I don’t think Mikey’s talking about a Vespa.
Lesley said,
November 12, 2007 at 22:00
I’d call Ann Althouse a dog but she just doesn’t measure up.
t4toby said,
November 12, 2007 at 22:00
See, I know nothing.
So ’scooter’ is slang for a Big Ass Bike?
You learn something new every day.
Lesley said,
November 12, 2007 at 22:01
I’d call Ann Althouse a dog but she just doesn’t measure up:
http://www.dohiyimir.org/2007/11/meadow-break.html
(SadlyNo, can you fix your spam filter? It’s eating posts with links.)
Lesley said,
November 12, 2007 at 22:02
er…I guess it eats posts with the href tag. posting the url seems to work.
Righteous Bubba said,
November 12, 2007 at 22:11
Visiting Althouse on any given day without picturing some kind of cross between Mork from Ork and the clucking biddies from The Music Man is difficult for me.
The definitive Althouse is actually Altmouse:
http://altmouse.blogspot.com/2006/04/if-boredom-were-camille-paglia-would.html
Beth said,
November 12, 2007 at 22:28
Relax, Althouse. We actually thrive in an environment where our name means nothing.…
Unless it’s Ben, that is.
Hoosier X said,
November 12, 2007 at 22:57
mikey,
are you talking about scooters like the scooters in “Motor-Psycho”?
ya know, the Russ Meyer movie.
Stinky Wizzleteats said,
November 13, 2007 at 0:09
Pity the rich white man
Indeed:
mikey said,
November 13, 2007 at 0:37
It was a plain old scoot, you guys. ‘64 panhead, 7 inch extension, mid-rise bars, crashbars and cruiser pegs, fat boy saddle with sissy, flat black with chrome pipes, covers and trim.
Later on, I rode a ‘74 Shovelhead, white lacquer tank with a gold-leaf eagle clutching arrows type motif.
Big, loud, comfortable and slow. That’s what I look for in a scooter…
mikey
Doodle Bean said,
November 13, 2007 at 0:44
Damn! I lost my super-magical double-secret decoder ring! When is the Boston/Cambridge Sadly-a-thon?
Use Code E-27. I’ll look it up in the official rules book. Thanks!
gbear said,
November 13, 2007 at 0:55
Mikey, the only thing I can relate to in that post is the 7 inch extension.
STH said,
November 13, 2007 at 1:20
I just looked up White Center–looks like I’m on the wrong side of the mountains, as usual. I’m definitely up for the NW Sadlyfest, though. Sign me up to bring the cheese ball.
Or maybe we should just have pie . . . ?
g said,
November 13, 2007 at 5:48
Isn’t White Center down in West Seattle? Or have I forgotten?
K. Ron Silkwood said,
November 13, 2007 at 6:56
Could we have a show of hands of those who think Hudnall is a good writer?
STH said,
November 13, 2007 at 7:03
That’s what it looked like to me, g. I’m on the east side of the mountains, the unfashionable desert-y nuclear-waste-o-rama side.
Woodrowfan said,
November 13, 2007 at 16:24
WOW over 500 comments and on a post that mentioned neither 9-11 or Ron Paul!
liberalrob said,
November 13, 2007 at 23:09
Wow, I didn’t even know James D. Hudnall was still alive.
I’ve always considered him as a Harlan Ellison type. Great writer, but ye gods what an ego. Do you have to be a jerk to be a brilliant writer?
Too bad about Harsh Realm, which was just getting going when a Hudnall/Fox pissing match helped kill it. Hudnall was right to demand credit but it was poor timing. Eh, it was Fox. Didn’t want your stuff there anyways, Jim.
I wish there were some way of independently financing good SF. I hate seeing otherwise fantastic shows like Harsh Realm, VR.5, and Firefly get cut short because beancounters and nitwit execs can’t figure out what they’ve got on their hands.
Yosemite Sam said,
November 14, 2007 at 2:27
Kill The Power!!11!
Outside The Tent said,
November 15, 2007 at 5:24
[...] it’s not like I haven’t been blogging at all. My post this weekend at Sadly, No! about James Hudnall got about 500 megazabillion comments. Of course, [...]
gfw said,
November 15, 2007 at 6:55
Check out his wikipedia page:
“His series Harsh Realm was adapted to television by X-Files producer Chris Carter in 1998. Hudnall sued Carter and Fox Television when they failed to give him a credit on the show. The suit was later settled out of court and as part of the settlement Hudnall got his credits, and a large bag of oatmeal raisin cookies.”
That last bit probably needs a citation.
Also he’s clearly sockpuppeting on this page and on wikipedia!