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What Is The Difference Between Reading Kim Priestap And Being Waterboarded?
Over at WizWank, Kim Priestap thinks she has a gotcha on two silly lieberals from Democratic Underground:
A DUer and his brother waterboarded each other to prove that it is torture. The first time, he lasted 9 seconds and he said it was terrifying. But then he went back three more times to see if he could last longer and longer. In his fourth final go around he lasted 20 seconds. His brother lasted even longer.
Do we really need to explain to this guy that waterboarding isn’t torture if he kept voluntarily going back for more for the purpose of challenging himself. Lordy, what an idiot.
Do we really need to explain to Kim that when people are waterboarded they don’t get to decide when to stop?
That is why reading Kim Priestap, painful though it may be, isn’t torture.
You can always stop.
Allie Lowell said,
October 30, 2007 at 15:47
The word I’m thinking of to describe her rhymes with shunt.
DAS said,
October 30, 2007 at 15:48
Shorter [insert credits for concept here] Ms. Priestap: I get off being spanked, therefore spousal abuse is just some silly concept made up by liberals to get trial lawyers more money.
norbizness said,
October 30, 2007 at 15:54
Or, in my case, the equivalent of never having heard of water, or a board, or putting the two together.
Notorious P.A.T. said,
October 30, 2007 at 16:13
SERE (Survival, Escape, Resistance and Evasion) is a U.S. military program that provides military personnel with training survival skills, evading capture, recovery and dealing with captivity. . . The training has been widely reported to provide a realistic simulation of harsh and abusive coercive techniques and to teach the students how to resist them.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SERE
1. Kim Priestap thinks that anyone who voluntarily undergoes a simulation of torture is an “idiot”.
2. Many of our finest soldiers voluntarily undergo a simulation of torture.
3. Kim Priestap thinks our soldiers are idiots.
Tender Mercenaries said,
October 30, 2007 at 16:26
My safeword from now on will be “Priestap.”
AkaDad said,
October 30, 2007 at 16:31
The word I’m thinking of to describe her rhymes with shunt.
I agree that she’s a runt…
–noun
3. a person who is small and contemptible
jenniebee said,
October 30, 2007 at 16:38
oooohhhh…. 20 seconds.
I’ll admit, my rule has always been that anything I can voluntarily withstand for twenty whole continuous seconds can’t possibly be torture.
NB: that definition does not exclude reading Priestap. Tapped out at 8 on that one.
Legalize said,
October 30, 2007 at 16:39
I know a woman who enjoys consensual romantic relations with her husband. Therefore, rape by a stranger in a parking lot must not be a big deal to her!
Moonbat Rising said,
October 30, 2007 at 16:45
Wouldn’t it then follow if you don’t have the option of stopping the waterboarding, it IS torture? And by extension isn’t she then accusing US Military of committing torture IF they don’t make the option of stopping available to the waterboardee?
Why does Kim hate America?
Krassen said,
October 30, 2007 at 16:45
Fantastic logic!!!
Blowing people up with explosives can’t be that bad either if there are people who voluntarily blow themselves up…
Also harmless: drugs
owlbear1 said,
October 30, 2007 at 16:51
You know I see a huge monemaker here:
Water boarding Salons…
Safe and fun for the whole family.
Spartakus said,
October 30, 2007 at 16:52
Does this mean I could have stopped Pammy’s “My Sharia” video. If only I had known…
bemused said,
October 30, 2007 at 16:58
Hey, I got an idea. Why don’t we waterboard Kim Priestap until she tells us what she did with her fucking brains? That will take a hell of a lot longer than 20 seconds for her to explain, I assure you. Then we’ll see what the dumb “rhymes with shunt” has to say about the procedure.
I swear, these people are so fucking stupid, it’s frightening to contemplate. If this is the future of right-wing political discourse in this country, maybe it’s time to start thinking about leaving. Yes, it’s that scary.
MrWonderful said,
October 30, 2007 at 17:03
Moonbat Rising’s point is perfect.
Welcome, Kim Priestap!
Nylund said,
October 30, 2007 at 17:03
by this logic, Ultimate Fighting proves its ok for someone to punch her in the face. After all, some people voluntarily get into fights.
We have a voluntary army in the US. By her logic, since people voluntarily decide to go get shot at and to shoot people, then it can’t be wrong, or lead to any sort of injury whatsoever!
I also had a friend who voluntarily killed himself, so killing someone else must be fine too.
JK47 said,
October 30, 2007 at 17:16
We need waterboarding, because someday there may be a Mooslem Homicide Bomber™ who has planted a bomb right in Grand Central Station– actually, fuck that– who has placed a bomb in Dolly Parton’s Dixie Stampede Dinner Attraction in Branson, Missouri– the kind of bomb with little red LED lights counting down to zero– and If we don’t waterboard him, he’ll never tell us the secret code to disarm the bomb and it’ll tick all the way down to zero and BOOOM! Then you lieberals will be sorry.
JoshWatermanMN said,
October 30, 2007 at 17:21
Heh. “Conservatives Who Don’t Get the Concept of Consent” number 5,634 in a sadly ongoing series.
Mandos said,
October 30, 2007 at 17:26
I can never understand why it counts down to zero. Wouldn’t it be smarter to make it count down to, oh, 3:41 or something?
owlbear1 said,
October 30, 2007 at 17:33
The idea that people who willingly strap high explosives to their bodies would put a Timer on a bomb doesn’t really sink in with them does it?
owlbear1 said,
October 30, 2007 at 17:36
The idiotic idea.
Peanutcat said,
October 30, 2007 at 17:37
Teh stoopid just hurts too much anymore . . . . .
Legalize said,
October 30, 2007 at 17:40
“I can never understand why it counts down to zero. Wouldn’t it be smarter to make it count down to, oh, 3:41 or something?”
LOL but how would the totally heterosexual Bruce Willis know how much time he has left?! Silly moonbat.
arky said,
October 30, 2007 at 17:44
Is this a trick question?
Mandos said,
October 30, 2007 at 17:56
Well, they seem to excuse it with the “Evil Psychopath Playing Mind Games” plotline, I think.
Bonnie said,
October 30, 2007 at 17:57
Your site has won a Blog of the Day Award (BOTDA)
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FlipYrWhig said,
October 30, 2007 at 17:58
By the same token, I voluntarily had my wisdom teeth removed, so it stands to reason that yanking a guy’s teeth out with pliers isn’t quote-unquote torture. Bwah-hah-hah stoopit librluz.
Jersey tomato said,
October 30, 2007 at 17:59
See, now here’s where it gets really amusing…when word that waterboarding was going on in Iraq first leaked out, the military just about fell over itself doing exactly this demonstration - having one soldier “waterboard” another to prove that it was just some good harmless fun. The wingnuts ate it up with a spoon. At the time, they thought it was a stroke of PR genius and a definitive proof that waterboarding was not torture. Funny how they seem to forget.
JK47 said,
October 30, 2007 at 18:02
I was so mesmerized with Teh Stupid that I missed this gem from Clif:
“That is why reading Kim Priestap, painful though it may be, isn’t torture.
You can always stop.”
Pwned.
Rufus said,
October 30, 2007 at 18:10
I guess the Abu Ghraib human pyramid wasn’t torture. It was cheerleader practice.
JK47 said,
October 30, 2007 at 18:12
I guess the Abu Ghraib human pyramid wasn’t torture. It was cheerleader practice.
No, it was a fraternity prank, remember?
bago said,
October 30, 2007 at 18:17
Alright, who brought the horsetail buttplugs? Some people use them repeatedly, thus this proves that Kim is a closeted furry who needs some plugging.
With logic like this…
bago said,
October 30, 2007 at 18:18
This will be one dead horse that’s going to be hard to stop beating.
Silver Owl said,
October 30, 2007 at 18:22
Forcing water into someone’s lungs is attempted murder by drowning.
Now maybe Kim wants some sociopath trying drown her as sign of love and affection but most normal people put them in prison. She’s fucked up mentalty getting off on drowning people, reviving them only to do it again and again.
Rightwingsnarkle said,
October 30, 2007 at 18:30
How about if you substitute draft beer for the water, and add a funnel with a long hose leading to the victim’s volunteer’s mouth - is that torture?
Rightwingsnarkle said,
October 30, 2007 at 18:31
The word “victim’s” should have been struck through. It worked in preview.
Thers said,
October 30, 2007 at 18:42
Kids, don’t try auto-erotic -waterboarding unless you’re wearing at least two wetsuits. Safety first.
Doctorb Science said,
October 30, 2007 at 18:47
Actually, beerboarding sounds pretty cool. Better than being force-fed infinite donuts, even.
Dennis Savage said,
October 30, 2007 at 18:53
Yer average bom(b)maker these days doesn’t really have the dedication to code and burn his or her own chips in order to get the bomb to go off at 3:41, or 4:20 or whatever. Unless you’re government or an artist it’s easier just to use a canned algorithm to count down to zero.
Now Ted, the Unabom(b)er, he put appropriate craftsmanship into his work. His diary depicts a continuous agony of traditional decisionmaking — bomb casing: walnut, oak or cherry? You wouldn’t see him hacking his own ROMs, that’s too new school.
I truly believe that it is this dedication to craftsmanship that will save our country as a global economic force.
Bolour with a K said,
October 30, 2007 at 18:54
What a silly bunt.
Dr. Squid said,
October 30, 2007 at 18:56
Here’s guessing that the next response will be that the waterboarded does have the option - all that’s needed is a confession.
Any guesses as to who might be dumb enough to claim that?
billy pilgrim said,
October 30, 2007 at 18:57
How about if you substitute draft beer for the water, and add a funnel with a long hose leading to the victim’s volunteer’s mouth - is that torture?
depends. Is it Lite beer?
Mandos said,
October 30, 2007 at 18:59
This problem is easily solved by using a cheap storebought digital alarm clock.
g said,
October 30, 2007 at 19:10
Bombs that time down to zero are like the computers on the TeeVee and in the movies where they all have courier text that scrolls on black screens and their keyboards all go clackety-clackety-clackety and there are no mouses (mice?)
proto-manatee said,
October 30, 2007 at 19:17
What a silly bunt.
Nope. We don’t bunt in this league. A walk, a bloop and a blast. Just ask Joe Torre…
mikey
arky said,
October 30, 2007 at 19:21
“Meeses.”
fluffy said,
October 30, 2007 at 19:23
“Oy the stupidity! The stupidity!”
Percyprune said,
October 30, 2007 at 19:25
A cupid stunt?
RobW said,
October 30, 2007 at 19:28
Bombs that time down to zero are like the computers on the TeeVee and in the movies where they all have courier text that scrolls on black screens and their keyboards all go clackety-clackety-clackety and there are no mouses (mice?)
Ooh, don’t forget the monitors that magically project sharply focused text images onto users’ faces when used in dark rooms.
kingubu said,
October 30, 2007 at 19:30
Zooming out from the obvious (to everyone but the Wingnuts) difference between doing something voluntarily with someone you can be reasonably sure isn’t trying to kill you vs. the same behavior forced upon you by people who call you an enemy and are holding you prisoner, I just still cannot get my mind around the fact that there are people in this country who are gleefully advocating torture then, often in the same breath, nattering on about their supposedly superior morality. My snark-fu is just too weak. I can only stare in silent horror.
SamFromUtah said,
October 30, 2007 at 19:31
This problem is easily solved by using a cheap storebought digital alarm clock.
Just what I was thinking - I doubt bombers would homebrew complicated circuitry because that limits the FBI’s or whoever’s suspect pool to people who know how to homebrew complicated circuitry.
But if the movies make people think that they have to build custom circuits that blink and beep as they count down, it might make fewer people build bombs because it looks too hard. Bravo, Hollywood, keeping us safer.
SamFromUtah said,
October 30, 2007 at 19:33
…then again, if everybody thinks that homebrew circuitry is needed for bombs, you start getting idiocy like this.
Rightwingsnarkle said,
October 30, 2007 at 19:42
“…computers on the TeeVee”
Don’t forget those big reels of tape rotating jerkily.
Thorlac said,
October 30, 2007 at 20:10
The word I’m thinking of to describe her rhymes with shunt.
Oh yeah! Allan Funt was also pro-torture, wasn’t he.
atheist said,
October 30, 2007 at 20:16
…then again, if everybody thinks that homebrew circuitry is needed for bombs, you start getting idiocy like this.
Damn, that sucks. I feel for that Star girl. And I wonder if some of the crazy over-reaction of the guards was because she’s kinda brown looking.
I want to know more about that story.
mikey said,
October 30, 2007 at 20:17
But if the movies make people think that they have to build custom circuits that blink and beep as they count down, it might make fewer people build bombs because it looks too hard. Bravo, Hollywood, keeping us safer.
BBZZZZTTT.
Interesting theory. But people who like to build bombs are really more interested in the BOOM than the nifty tech. Fuses and Chem detonators are way more likely to be used. People who feel they need to use elaborate electronic timers and tamper-resists are more likely not really “people who build bombs” but rather “people who belong to or are trained by intelligence services who kill people and just happen to be using a bomb”.
Or John Birges.
Um, or so I’ve heard…
mikey
Robert Green said,
October 30, 2007 at 20:22
kim darling. listen, learn, understand.
this is another in a continuing series of “the world explained by great lyrics.”
SamFromUtah said,
October 30, 2007 at 20:51
Interesting theory. But people who like to build bombs are really more interested in the BOOM than the nifty tech….
Um, I think I forgot to put in a </snark> tag…
CatStaff said,
October 30, 2007 at 21:23
And don’t forget the Magical Rock-Steady Crosshairs from any scoped rifle you’d care to name. We don’t need no steeking barrel rest!
Batocchio said,
October 30, 2007 at 21:50
This reminds me of the right-winger logic that water-boarding can’t be torture because it’s involved in SERE training, which teaches military personnel to withstand torture.
Lillie said,
October 30, 2007 at 22:07
Priestap = Past ripe
Andrew said,
October 30, 2007 at 22:10
“Wizbang”? If that isn’t pro-terrorist I don’t know what is.
pch1013 said,
October 30, 2007 at 22:25
Kim Priestap =
I, pimp tasker
Tim parks pie
Pea pit smirk
Sadly, Cambridgeport said,
October 30, 2007 at 22:38
Oh yeah! Allan Funt was also pro-torture, wasn’t he
couldn’t say. the only association he pulls up is a freshly shaved leg. weird.
Humbert Dinglepencker said,
October 30, 2007 at 22:48
Priestap, oh, pries, priestap. ugh. lasted only three seconds…
Breasticle said,
October 31, 2007 at 0:43
If I challenge myself by holding my breath for two minutes, that’s exactly the same as if someone holds my head under water for an indeterminate amount of time.
Fluffybunnyfeet said,
October 31, 2007 at 1:16
“Does this mean I could have stopped Pammy’s “My Sharia” video.”
Yes. The safeword, in case it happens again, is “Bolton”
Waterboarding « Beware The Man said,
October 31, 2007 at 1:41
[...] Sadly, No!, I need to add that kind of waterboarding I’m suggesting doesn’t involve a safe word. [...]
Worst. President. Ever. said,
October 31, 2007 at 2:04
Some women enjoy having sex with more than one man at a time.
Therefore, wouldn’t really be so bad for Kim Priestap if she were gang-banged by an entire Hell’s Angels chapter.
Clif said,
October 31, 2007 at 3:48
OK, folks, let’s all remember that when we attack wingnuts it should be because of their stupidity, not their gender. Let’s not use derogatory gender-based words such as the c-word, either directly or by using the, er, “witch” or other rhyming ploy. Nor should we suggest, even by a fanciful analogy, that the subject of a post might be subjected to sexual violence. Otherwise we give ammunition to the real misogynists to accuse us of misogyny.
jgmurphyj said,
October 31, 2007 at 15:14
“You can always stop.”
Or, you can never start.
Even better. :-D
DWatson said,
November 1, 2007 at 0:03
Reading that site made me sick. It is sad to see such deluded individuals.
Sadly, No! » If Only There Were A Way To Make Him Talk said,
November 2, 2007 at 14:43
[...] one of the classified techniques of waterboarding might be to give the person being waterboarded a secret signal that he can give to make the waterboarding [...]
Sadly, No! » Circling The Wagons said,
August 22, 2008 at 5:33
[...] “Waterboarding Is Fun!” Priestap brings us the Kenyan slum defense: [Obama is] insinuating that owning a number of houses - [...]