26
All The Way Around, And Out The Other End
From Christian Newswire:
Tulsa Children’s/Youth Evangelist Claims Bible was Never Removed from America’s Public Schools
MEDIA ADVISORY, Oct. 26 /Christian Newswire/ — In his new book, “How Are You Doing That?,” Bob Heath of Kids for Christ USA says that the Bible was never removed from public schools. According to Heath, “Only mandatory Bible reading and prayer were disallowed from public schools after Madelyn Murray O’Hare’s challenge went to the Supreme Court.” In his book Heath shares the results of his own personal research of these precedents in great detail. “I consider it to be the biggest and farthest reaching lie in the last 44 years. If you believe the spin both in churches and media you’d believe that the Bible has been banned, but that simply isn’t so,” says Heath. The truth is that voluntary prayer and Bible reading are completely legal in America’s public schools.
Whoah, you mean the entire school prayer movement is based on sneaky word-play and selective misunderstanding? Dude, next we’re going to find out that public schools aren’t literally teaching homosexuality…
Marita said,
October 26, 2007 at 14:48
My favorite item from the ZOMG Massachusetts is teaching our children to be gay! link:
Oh noes! The homosexual lobby is even more insidious than previously thought! If our children are allowed to miss algebra if they’re willing to be exposed to the gay cooties, NO ONE WILL BE SAFE! The only heterosexuals left will be the math nerds! And then where will our society be???
Legalize said,
October 26, 2007 at 14:48
This is bad news indeed. I was certain that no Bibles survived the Islamoliberalhippyatheistcommie burning campaign.
Southern Beale said,
October 26, 2007 at 14:57
But wait a minute, I don’t get it .. he’s right. The Bible wasn’t “banned” from public schools, just mandatory school prayer and religious study. Plenty of schools teach elective “the Bible as literature” courses, the Fellowship of Christian Athletes is alive and well in public schools, and Christian groups meet before and after school all the time–along with the chess club, etc.
That’s why all of the right-wing “liberal war on faith” rhetoric is such BS.
D. Sidhe said,
October 26, 2007 at 15:02
I don’t think he’s going to be happy with the response of his coreligionists.
“Dude, shut up! We’re tryin’ to be victims over here!”
Nimrod Gently said,
October 26, 2007 at 15:11
The fucking fuck?
luneylegume said,
October 26, 2007 at 15:15
The trick is getting to define what scale to weigh your one pound of bible , without one drop of reflection . I’d insist on the Kelvin , it sounds more ethnic and ethnic rhymes with ethic which in turn rhymes with epic and mythic . But I never get to do anything around here .
El Cid said,
October 26, 2007 at 15:21
Does this mean he’s against teachers who use torture to enforce proper Bible appreciation?
Jim said,
October 26, 2007 at 15:23
Why, it’s almost as if someone intentionally mischaracterized the facts, for … for his own personal gain!
Jerry Falwell's Ghost said,
October 26, 2007 at 15:25
And I would’ve gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for you meddling Kids for Christ USA.
Pere Ubu said,
October 26, 2007 at 15:33
Oh, my.
That TYSK site - not only quotes from Alan Keyes and Cal Thomas, but articles from Zell Miller AND John “Dominon Theology” Whitehead!
I see TEH GHEY is not the only thing they’re pissing themselves about over there:
A Renewed Mexican-American War
Alan Caruba
Little wonder the slogan of the Mexican Department of Tourism is “Mexico: Closer Than Ever.” If it was any closer, the minute you crossed the Mississippi, you’d be in Mexico!
And there’s the obligatory post-9/11 Manly Constitutionalist essay by “Colonel Dan” whining about how America collpased from within due to its essential bodily fluids being weakened. ugh!
g said,
October 26, 2007 at 15:50
The Mexican Department of Tourism are the new mexlamofasicts? Who knew?
owlbear1 said,
October 26, 2007 at 15:50
Do you ever wonder if their own reflections puts Dumentalists into a ‘fight or flight’ situation?
I sure do…
owlbear1 said,
October 26, 2007 at 15:52
er, …Fundamentalists.
Fats Durston said,
October 26, 2007 at 16:13
owlbear1, taking the “fun” out of fundamentalism since ‘07.
J— said,
October 26, 2007 at 16:34
Oh, my.
That TYSK site
Wow, what a treasure trove. Right now I’m working my way through the ““METRICATION: Just Say No!” materials. A preview:
Great stuff, although I would suggest replacing “culturally” with “culturality” in the interest of consistency.
Stephen Ockham said,
October 26, 2007 at 16:46
The evil metric system is coming for your freedom!
Run for the hills! which are a kilometre away, reach an elevation of 320 metres, 70 metres of which are above the tree line, and where temperatures at the summit can reach as low as -20C.
OH CRAP! THE METRIC SYSTEM HAS ALREADY DEEPLY AFFECTED MY LIFE, SAFETY, AND FREEEEEDOM!
I am almost curious enough to click through and learn how the measurment system used by nearly the entire world can so deeply affect these scared wingers. Is it just the idea of change?
Spartakus said,
October 26, 2007 at 16:54
“I consider it to be the biggest and farthest reaching lie in the last 44 years. If you believe the spin both in churches and media you’d believe that the Bible has been banned, but that simply isn’t so,” says Heath. The truth is that voluntary prayer and Bible reading are completely legal in America’s public schools.
You’re way off message, dude - no faith-based initiative money for you.
Dan Someone said,
October 26, 2007 at 17:00
Best wingnut call to action ever:
NobodySpecial said,
October 26, 2007 at 17:01
You know, it’s not so much the fact that it’s base 10 (although that comes in handy when you consider that all our math is in base 10…it’s the logic behind using metric instead of Imperial.
FFS, the actual definition of an inch is three dried barleycorns. Is that REALLY a better base for your precise measurments?
owlbear1 said,
October 26, 2007 at 17:07
Actually, an inch has been defined as 2.54 centimeters since 1958.
J— said,
October 26, 2007 at 17:18
Actually, an inch has been defined as 2.54 centimeters since 1958.
No! We’ve been infiltrated since ‘58! And don’t tell me it’s just a coincidence that Sputnik returned to Earth the same year. I’m not that dumb.
Some Guy said,
October 26, 2007 at 17:28
-40F and -40C are the same temp.
“It’s time to make it a federal felony to crush the innocence of children, with punishments trebled for “educators.””
Now THERE’S some mighty fine, easily enforceable laws there, Lou!
Weren’t these people AGAINST the expansion of the Federal government, like, ten years ago? The hell, man?
Rufus said,
October 26, 2007 at 17:33
I once told a kid that Santa Claus was a fictional character. Slap the cuffs on me now.
Jon H said,
October 26, 2007 at 17:37
It’s time to make it a federal felony to crush the innocence of children, with punishments trebled for “educators.”
Whereas, crushing the testicles of children is okay! (As long as it can somehow be attributed to ‘national security’)
Tyro said,
October 26, 2007 at 17:39
The problem here is that not only are many right wing bloggers crazy, immoral ppieces of trash, but many of their readers desperately wish to be like them.
At issue is the problem of social acclaim and social “credit” that right-wing blog-reader get for participating in such mob-actions. They would not, on their own, get angry about it, but when they see other people get angry about these things and then realize that they can get “social credit” for participating, they do. The only answer, I think, is to continually and relentlessly let these people know that they are not allowed to participate with civilized human beings if they engage in this sort of behavior.
It’s hard since there’s not much personal overlap– right-wing bloggers keep to themselves — but it might help if a little humiliation towards anyone you know in real life who participates in this sort of thing.
Tyro said,
October 26, 2007 at 17:40
Crap, wrong thread! Sorry!
atheist said,
October 26, 2007 at 17:42
Weren’t these people AGAINST the expansion of the Federal government, like, ten years ago? The hell, man?
There is no rhyme or reason to what they say. They hate liberals, is what it comes down to.
ajay said,
October 26, 2007 at 17:58
our present American standard, commonly called Imperial, measurement system
See , that’s the puzzling thing. Didn’t you lot have some sort of revolution to get rid of imperial influence?
MCH said,
October 26, 2007 at 18:11
Didn’t you lot have some sort of revolution to get rid of imperial influence?
Shhh! We have a “special relationship” with our former overlords now (namely, we lord over them). The “imperial” part now refers to us (except for imperial gallons; we leave those oddities to the Canadians).
Also, don’t mention that we couldn’t have pulled it off without the *gasp* French.
Dorothy said,
October 26, 2007 at 18:28
It’s time to make it a federal felony to crush the innocence of children, with punishments trebled for “educators.”
Whereas, crushing the testicles of children is okay! (As long as it can somehow be attributed to ‘national security’)
Or abstinence-only sex ed!
(And kudos for associating “crushing testicles” with “trebled”–boy sopranos forever!)
Robert said,
October 26, 2007 at 18:29
Metrication has gone so far that most of the medicine in my cupboard is listed in milligrams, not ounces or grains. Seriously, though, does anyone realize that the USA is the only country left on this planet (excluding the fiddly bits like Bhutan, maybe) that still uses the non-metric system? My ten-year-old son wants to be a scientist/engineer when he grows up (and has the grades to do it), but will he still have to finagle with inches and ounces decades from now, because antediluvian holdouts like this bunch are unreconstructed neophobes?
MobiusKlein said,
October 26, 2007 at 18:34
Anybody who has done physics problems in Metric and Imperial units will prefer Metric by a country mile.
But here’s my complaint - all the food packaging around here has weight of servings in ounces, but fat / carbohydrate measures in grams. WTF?
Principal Blackman said,
October 26, 2007 at 18:58
“Dude, shut up! We’re tryin’ to be victims over here!”
“I mean, isn’t that what Jesus wants us to do?”
Seriously, though, good on ya, Bob Heath. Here’s hoping that you send the Dobsons of the world back to the corner where they belong.
OneMan said,
October 26, 2007 at 18:59
Dude, anybody who went to college (at least back in the day) knows that there’s 28 grams in an ounce.
Er, I mean, conversion between imperial and metric isn’t that hard.
FlipYrWhig said,
October 26, 2007 at 19:10
The metrohomislamofascists will get my yardstick when they pry it from my cold, dead hands.
What’s worse is that then I’ll be six feet under, and I’ll be forgotten, because no one will know how far down that is anymore.
DS said,
October 26, 2007 at 19:46
I went to a public high school in New York, and we read extensive parts of the bible in our AP literature class–it made sense, since the Bible is the most widely-read and influential literary work out there. Nobody had a problem with the assignment, and we actually learned a lot about what some of the stories meant and how they influenced western literature.
Sadly, Cambridgeport said,
October 26, 2007 at 19:47
USA is the only country left on this planet (excluding the fiddly bits like Bhutan, maybe) that still uses the non-metric system
Actually Bhutan also uses the metric system. The only other nations that have not adapted it are Myanmar and Liberia.
I know what you meant by “countries like Bhutan”. The thing is, whether you are talking about capital punishment, torture, war crimes, the metric system, health care, education, an independent media, or just about any other measure of “civilization”, the best short-hand for “semi-barbaric backwater” these days is probably “countries like the US”.
Ïnstead of always using phrases such as “The only country in the industrialized world that does not”, or, “the lowest score among developed economies”, wouldn’t it be simpler to just reclassify the US as a third-world banana republic?
Gary Ruppert said,
October 26, 2007 at 19:49
The fact is, the metric system was invented by the French, as an internationalist wedge to further global marxism. Proof that it is crap.
MCH said,
October 26, 2007 at 19:57
Yeah, Fake Gary, especially since metric was invented before Marx was born.
tigrismus said,
October 26, 2007 at 20:02
I like the new fake Gary: he’s got a certain clodding pizazz.
Sadly, Cambridgeport said,
October 26, 2007 at 20:13
OT, but look at this map of nations with universal health care. Notice that the US is not one, but Iraq and Afghanistan are, courtesy of US taxpayers. When is Michelle going to get on this?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image:WORLDHEALTH2.png
D. Sidhe said,
October 26, 2007 at 20:20
The metrohomislamofascists will get my yardstick when they pry it from my cold, dead hands.
I’m not digging a half meter down to get your yardstick, dammit.
arky said,
October 26, 2007 at 20:20
It’s time to make it a federal felony to crush the innocence of children, with punishments trebled for “educators.”
This would be a great way to get rabid r-wingers off the streets: “Your honor on May 25, 2008, the defendant did maliciously and intentionally describe the torments of Hell to 25 Sunday School students between the ages of 10 and 12.”
Jeff Fecke said,
October 26, 2007 at 20:25
-40F and -40C are the same temp.
That’s…that’s a lie! A damn, dirty, liberal lie! -40F is a good, honest, Godly, hard-working temperature. -40C is…is…is Mexlamofascist! You know where they invented the Metric System? France! Need I say more?
Notorious P.A.T. said,
October 26, 2007 at 20:30
I want America to adopt the “stone” as its unit of weight.
Football lineman: “I weigh two stone.”
11-year-old girl: “Me too!”
Or something like that.
mikey said,
October 26, 2007 at 21:02
It’s time to make it a federal felony to crush the innocence of children
I’m in!
After all, as a mere child I was plucked from the sandbox (well, pt. reyes) and had my innocence forever and for all times not just crushed, but torn into little bits, thrown in a hole and crapped upon?
I’d like somebody to serve some serious hard time for that…
mikey
Righteous Bubba said,
October 26, 2007 at 21:13
We can all still enjoy crushing the innocence of adults.
Hysterical Woman said,
October 26, 2007 at 21:13
No, they’re going to blame the liberal media for not telling them that private prayer and Bibles haven’t been outlawed.
mds said,
October 26, 2007 at 21:25
From the end of the article:
“For more information on the e-book click,”How Are You Doing That?” and for the ministry, click KFCUSA.”
Is this inauspicious choice of acronym really a coincidence? I mean, do we want to let these people and their school “Bible clubs” near our children when they’ve so thinly disguised ASFUCK?
Duros62 said,
October 26, 2007 at 21:32
owlbear1, taking the “fun” out of fundamentalism since ‘07.
And putting the “Duh” back in.
Duros62 said,
October 26, 2007 at 21:35
…click KFCUSA
Or NAMBLA
Nice to see they have corporate sponsorship all wrapped up.
Dr.BDH said,
October 26, 2007 at 23:07
“I consider it to be the biggest and farthest reaching lie in the last 44 years.”
That explains the old joke: The three greatest lies in the world are, “It’s in the mail,” “I won’t come in your mouth,” and “The Bible has been banned on public schools.” Now I get it.
gunner said,
October 26, 2007 at 23:21
J-, thanks for pointing out that link on metrication, I had no idea that people besides machinists were so worked up about it. Poor guy probably goes into a rage every time he buys a 2-liter bottle of Diet Coke.
SamFromUtah said,
October 27, 2007 at 1:38
It’s time to make it a federal felony to crush the innocence of children…
Do they ever bother to say what their definition of children is?
Youngsters, like Klutzo the Clown was into?
Mid-teenagers, like Mark Foley was into?
Let’s set the end of childhood at, say, 14. On your 14th birthday you receive a book called The World is a Fucked-Up Place and a come-on from your creepy uncle.
RobW said,
October 27, 2007 at 2:29
Let’s set the end of childhood at, say, 14. On your 14th birthday you receive a book called The World is a Fucked-Up Place and a come-on from your creepy uncle.
How about just a barrage of military recruitment brochures? Oh wait, we already do that.
InsaneInTheCheneyBrain said,
October 27, 2007 at 2:49
Robert meant to say “Burma”, not Bhutan. I was in Bhutan and they used metric.
InsaneInTheCheneyBrain said,
October 27, 2007 at 2:54
People seemed a lot happier than in this deteriorating “republic”, too. Sigh.
Paddy Mac said,
October 27, 2007 at 21:18
Don’t even get them started on the fluoride and chlorine in our tap water…
PeeJ said,
July 17, 2008 at 20:05
The only heterosexuals left will be the math nerds
Hmmm. There are plenty of math geeks who don’t need no speshul skoolinz in being teh Ghey. I offer myself, a Rump Ranger mathemagician, as an example.