Oct
24

Two Minute America’s Shittiest Website™




Posted at 17:07 by Tintin

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Myths of the Jena 6 [Jonah Goldberg]

I found an article from somebody in Jena that proves that no one in a Jena is a racist. In fact, the white kids who hung the nooses got shot in the face and the black kids got pie and ice cream. Also, while I’m debunking myths, Matthew Shepherd wasn’t really gay.

10/24 08:53 AM

Get Over It [Mark Steyn]

The Nobel Prize should only be awarded to people that think that 9/11 was the worst thing that ever happened since the beginning of time!

10/24 08:26 AM

What I Woke Up Thinking This Morning … [K-Lo]

The best thing ever would be if Lynne Cheney were President, Dick Cheney were Secretary of Defense, Maureen Dowd had been disfigured in a tragic accident, and I was dating that dreamboat Mitt Romney.

10/24 05:27 AM

“Tonight We Dine In Virginia!” [Mark Hemingway]

This parody of “300″ is teh funny, but be sure to stick yur fingers in teh ears cuz there is a real bad word near teh end.

10/24 12:45 AM

34 Comments »

  1. Vin Scully said,

    October 24, 2007 at 17:23

    Ah, so according to Jonah’s source those nooses in Jena weren’t nooses at all, they were “aimed at their fellow white friends, members of the school rodeo team.” Well, that’s nice. Go School!

    But hold on … “Another myth concerns their punishment, which was not a three-day suspension, but rather nine days at an alternative facility followed by two weeks of in-school suspension, Saturday detentions, attendance at Discipline Court, and evaluation by licensed mental-health professionals.”

    So, wait – the nooses were meant to show school spirit, and the kids that hung them were really really severely punished for it?

    Jeezy creezy, fellas, just pick one lameass excuse and go with it.

  2. Cangrejero said,

    October 24, 2007 at 17:28

    I think it was here the other day where someone commented that every wingnut crusade since ‘Rathergate’ was an attempt to recreate their one shining moment. Every day I see more and more evidence of this. Mark Steyn’s comment is a perfect example. These 20%-ers really seem to believe they can destroy the credibility of The Nobel Prize Committee. Why that would be as ridiculous as someone like, say Malkin, attacking the credibility of someone like, say Ezra Klein…

    Oh wait.

  3. Legalize said,

    October 24, 2007 at 17:28

    God damn, they even get their panties in a bind over the IMPLICATION of an unclean word. Silly, silly ninnies.

  4. Rufus said,

    October 24, 2007 at 17:32

    The House at Poop Corner is a funny place; they never talk about the time Pooh flew a kamikaze balloon mission that destroyed Owl’s treehouse and Christopher Robin claimed that all the fluff that filled the air as a result of this tragic event was safe for Kanga and Roo to breathe, or explain why Christopher Robin declared war on all of Rabbit’s friends and relations, even though they had nothing to do with the attack.

  5. Gundamhead said,

    October 24, 2007 at 17:38

    Well I see Steyn is still an asshole. That’s comforting to know. Seriously Mark, in the history of world atrocities and tragedies 9/11 really doesn’t rank that high. YOU get over it bed wetter.

  6. MCH said,

    October 24, 2007 at 17:39

    Clif, is there a special hazmat suit that allows you to survive prolonged exposure to industrial-strength mendacity? Man o man. I’d imagine most sane folks who wander into The Corner end up like the guy who fell into the toxic waste at the end of Robocop.

    OT, I’m all set with Obama, last straw being hanging as he does with a guy who links sex abuse with homosexuality, claims gays can change and performed at a fricken GOP event: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21432402/

    And with Turkey laying down smack, things might start to get a whole lot worse in Iraq: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21448618/

  7. roy edroso said,

    October 24, 2007 at 17:40

    This goes a long way toward proving that old philosophical construct — I think it’s called the Mighty Mighty Reason Man Theorem — that the longer The Corner parodies go on, the more they resemble The Corner.

  8. Cap'n Rufus said,

    October 24, 2007 at 17:40

    You’re cherrypickin’ posts that were made before lunchtime.

  9. tigrismus said,

    October 24, 2007 at 17:45

    You’re cherrypickin’ posts that were made before lunchtime.

    You’re expecting postprandial improvement? A life without hope is not worth living, I guess.

  10. owlbear1 said,

    October 24, 2007 at 18:00

    That 300 spoof is funny.

  11. Nimrod Gently said,

    October 24, 2007 at 18:00

    According to Jonah Goldberg, nothing bad has ever happened. That’s a relief.

  12. GeoX said,

    October 24, 2007 at 18:22

    It IS funny. I can’t argue with that.

  13. moondancer said,

    October 24, 2007 at 18:25

    The flesh…so much flesh. That is the most tonnage I’ve ever seen in three photos.

  14. Sadly, Cambridgeport said,

    October 24, 2007 at 18:39

    mmmm…. salty language.

    So, several of the officials and white students who are accused of wrongdoing are now saying that they aren’t racist after all? Well that settles it for me!

    The only remaining question is why those n*gg*ers are always attacking good people and destroying property for no reason. I’m sure he would have asked them, but he wouldn’t have wanted to be biased like the MSM. Whitey just can’t catch a break in this world.

  15. Fluffybunnyfeet said,

    October 24, 2007 at 18:49

    Aww, c’mon guys: THIS one -

    http://youtube.com/watch?v=l7qKD-Ph7ds

    - is TONS funnier.

    Bonus feature: It’ll make Our Lady of the Impervious Southern Border Chastity Belt cry…

  16. Raznor said,

    October 24, 2007 at 18:49

    You know you can still watch the entire episode of Robot Chicken that features that 300 spoof on adultswim.com. But yes, it is a really funny one. I love George Washington punching the polar bear.

  17. humboldthoney said,

    October 24, 2007 at 18:57

    I read that article about the Jena 6 on the Christian Science Monitor this am and thought what a load of bs, how could anyone actually believe this, and here’s the answer.

  18. J. Ransom said,

    October 24, 2007 at 19:16

    This all seems very familiar…but it’s not like they don’t deserve even more mockery.

  19. tb said,

    October 24, 2007 at 20:00

    The article Goldberg links to is pretty choice. Basically it says that the white citizens of Jena agree that the white citizens of Jena are blameless, and blacks are savagely violent, lazy, lying, porch monkies who are always “jumping” white people.

  20. Sadly, Cambridgeport said,

    October 24, 2007 at 20:33

    tb:

    What you said. I think that this was particularly telling:

    The event on Dec. 4, 2006 was consistently labeled a “schoolyard fight.” But witnesses described something much more horrific. Several black students, including those now known as the Jena 6, barricaded an exit to the school’s gym as they lay in wait for Justin Barker to exit. (It remains unclear why Mr. Barker was specifically targeted.)

    Well that makes no sense. Too bad there isn’t anyone, anyone at all who could offer some insight into the motivation behind these savage acts.

    No, but he already tried asking the white students. They said they didn’t understand it either. I guess black people must just be randomly and inexplicably aggressive like that. That’s what all this PC bullshit will get you. Give those people an inch…

  21. oudemia said,

    October 24, 2007 at 20:36

    No, but, and I ask this seriously, what on earth “myth” about Matthew Shepherd does Jonah think needs to be busted?

  22. tb said,

    October 24, 2007 at 20:44

    They also think that we’re dumb enough to accept this bullshit excuse that the white kids, the ones who were such big rodeo fans, didn’t know the difference between a lasso and a noose.

  23. Sadly, Cambridgeport said,

    October 24, 2007 at 21:22

    oudemia:

    My guess is that he is one of the people who believe that the Matthew Shepherd murder was a simple robbery, not a hate crime.

    The prosecution’s claim was that his killers pretended to be gay to win his trust, then robbed and brutally murdered him. This was based on the accounts of witnesses and the testimony of the murderers girlfriends, who said that they had previously discussed robbing a gay man by pretending to be gay.

    The defense was initially “gay panic”: that they attempted to rob him but he made a pass and they freaked out, crucifying him on a fence, and pistol whipping his skull open like any normal straight man would do in that situation.

    How either scenario makes it “not a hate crime” is beyond me, but in reichwing lala land it is another case in which the liberal media has fabricated discrimination. They do this so that they can oppress the pure majority and institute islamo-negroid-homo-commie-fascism. I guess it gets them off or something.

  24. Trilateral Chairman said,

    October 24, 2007 at 21:25

    No, but, and I ask this seriously, what on earth “myth” about Matthew Shepherd does Jonah think needs to be busted?

    I was going to email him and ask him–he does respond sometimes–but my will failed me; I’ve spent so much time dealing with imbecility lately that I can’t

    Anyway, I’m guessing that he believes that the attack on Matthew Shepard wasn’t a hate crime involving Shepard’s sexual orientation. As far as I can tell, the evidence for this belief is as follows:

    (1) the murderers, who used a “gay panic defense” during the trial, now say that Shepard’s sexuality had nothing to do with it;

    (2) the murderers’ girlfriend, who previously testified under oath that the murderers were looking to target a gay guy, now says that Shepard’s sexuality had nothing to do with it.

    It’s obvious, isn’t it? The recent statements are clearly the reliable ones; after all, they say exactly what people like Jonah want to hear.

  25. oudemia said,

    October 24, 2007 at 21:36

    S,C and TC: Thanks. Good gravy is that depressing.

  26. Some Guy said,

    October 24, 2007 at 21:45

    I do like the 1776 thing. I’d go watch that. Seriously. Be-thonged, muscle-bound Washington fighting a sea monster in the Delware? Rock.

  27. Trilateral Chairman said,

    October 24, 2007 at 22:23

    Good gravy is that depressing.

    Yes, but it’s also fascinating in a morbid sort of way. Jonah is a mental trainwreck: He can’t weigh evidence, he doesn’t bother evaluating the reliability of sources, he doesn’t seem interested in checking facts. I think he just reads the articles and says “Hmm, some of the people who believe X sound pretty wacky. Y, on the other hand, kind of sounds like the sort of thing that might be true. Well–Y it is! Time for beer and Cheetos.”

    I remember that he once posted a request for information about one topic or another. He got a response and posted it. Then someone else wrote in saying the complete opposite, and he posted that too.

    Then he got stuck. He literally did not know how to proceed. I mean, two random people on the Internet said entirely different things! What the heck? Well, must be ambiguous–moving on, moving on….

    (Yes, I know it’s creepy that I remember this stuff, but for some strange reason I have a good memory for the arguments that people make. If only I had as good a memory for the links to those arguments….)

  28. Hysterical Woman said,

    October 24, 2007 at 23:09

    There is also another “truth” that the Matthew Shepherd murder was over a drug deal.

  29. oudemia said,

    October 25, 2007 at 2:29

    TC: Ha ha! We knew Jonah was an ass, but we didn’t know he was Buridan’s ass!

  30. Mo's Bike Shop said,

    October 25, 2007 at 6:16

    aimed at their fellow white friends, members of the school rodeo team.

    No one is that gullible.

    Please?

  31. Dr Zen said,

    October 25, 2007 at 7:22

    Funnily enough, I woke up this morning and thought, if Lynne Cheney was president, I’d want out of this fucked-up dimension.

  32. Marq said,

    October 25, 2007 at 15:12

    Whatever that YouTune thing linked to at the end of the post didn’t stay active very long. Huh. I wonder if it was something copyrighted?

  33. Curious said,

    October 25, 2007 at 21:17

    Reading the Corner is depressing. I have a soft spot for the Derb though. It takes courage to be an evolutionist & a naked racist in a public forum like the Corner.

    Related question – why is Ramesh Ponnuru treated like some kind of deity in conservative internet circles? True, he’s capable of making cogent arguments, which is more than can be said for the rest of the Corner’s members. But I’ve never seen him produce anything that wasn’t conservative boilerplate, no matter how well-presented it was.

  34. Kenneth Fair said,

    October 26, 2007 at 21:16

    It’s days like this I miss America’s Worst Mother.

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