21
Putting The Satyr In Saturday
It’s Saturday, and I’m feeling an overwhelming need to relax and be unserious for a day. I just can’t handle any more stories about Congress denying health care to children, or the possibility of Turkey invading the only relatively stable region in all of Iraq, or the continuing spinelessness of the Congressional Democrats today. I just want a quiet, pleasant afternoon filled with lighthearted, relaxing…..ooh, look!
Renew America has a column up by Marsha West about metrosexuals and fashion. That should be both less serious and fun to mock! Yay Saturday! Let’s take a look:
There’s good news within the popular and consumer culture. “Metrosexual” is out “menergy” is in. For those who aren’t familiar with the term “metrosexual” it applies to testosterone challenged, narcissistic, heterosexual males whose primary focus is on their physical appearance.
Yes. Caring about your appearance makes you “testosterone challenged”. Because guys that look like this obviously have masculinity issues.
Soccer player David Beckham, who has been tagged the “ultimate metrosexual,” has helped break masculine codes.
“Beckham may be captain of the English soccer team [currently captains the Los Angeles Galaxy], but he wears sarongs and nail polish, and has even posed for gay magazines. As the American online magazine Salon said, he has admitted that he likes to be admired, and does not care if it’s by women or by men.”
David Beckham seems to be more like the “ultimate weirdo.” Beckham is a prime example of how advertising execs have succeeded in turning males into self-absorbed girlie men.
This is definitely the girliest girlie-man I’ve ever seen. Why would any woman ever be attracted to that?
The latest fashion trend is a return to the macho man. During Milan Fashion Week Horacio Silva of the New York Times coined the term “menergy” to describe what he called “a campy contraction of ‘men’ and ‘energy’ that sounds like the name of a congenital bachelors’ bar but encapsulates the anti-metrosexual, hypermasculine vigor coursing through men’s wear, ‘Praise the gym gods: the menergy crisis is over,’ or, ‘Seriously, the menergy at Dolce & Gabbana was palpable’”
In other words, John Wayne is making a comeback. (You remember movie legend John Wayne. He was called Duke by his friends and was the “absolute all-time movie star.” It’s been said that he was as much a hero in real life as he ever was on-screen. John Wayne was the epitome of the man’s man.)
Welcome back, Duke!
According to Silva, “Menergy is trickling into advertising, where gender ambiguity is losing its appeal to bona fide fellas. Take Dolce & Gabbana model David Gandy. He’s the hard-bodied hunk seen reclining in a Speedo the size of an eye patch to hawk the brand’s new fragrance, Light Blue.”
Let me see if I have this straight. The point of this column is supposed to be that “metrosexuality” is just a lame excuse for men to be wimpy femmeboys, but luckily this satanic trend is on its way out because it’s being replaced by something called “menergy,” which is the sort of thing John Wayne embodied.
Except the reporter who coined the term is using “menergy” to refer to the Dolce & Gabbana show at Milan Fashion Week. Because John Wayne was the type of guy to wear D&G. Or something. And, wait — John Wayne was “campy”?
I’m just going to operate on the assumption that Marsha West has never heard of Dolce & Gabbana before, and that she’s probably never seen any ads for their clothing, either. Otherwise, I doubt she’d be using an article about their products to prove that “real men” are coming back into fashion.
And as far as some new D&G model destroying the identity-ambiguity that metrosexuals supposedly evoke, take a look at David Gandy for yourselves, and decide if there’s anything here that might possibly appeal to a gay man:
Gender ambiguity losing its appeal? Now that’s good news!But not for everyone. The return of the man’s man is bad news for radical feminists and militant homosexual groups who have spent decades promoting gender confusion to our youth.
Why would militant homosexuals want to promote gender confusion? If they can’t tell men and women apart, how will they ever be able to continue destroying Western civilization by having sex with men?
Well-funded radical feminist and homosexual groups are behind the assault on schoolchildren. They’ve made tremendous inroads in indoctrinating them into “alternative” sexual lifestyles. Case in point. On the afternoon of October 12 California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger caved in to radical homosexuals and signed a bill that could force government run schools to accommodate children with “gender identity” issues by permitting them to use the boys’ and girls’ bathrooms and locker rooms, depending on which gender they choose to identify with at that time. Does this not make you want to homeschool your kids? If you live in Sodomfornia you’d better start now, before your child is robbed of his or her innocence. Remember, those who control the schools control the future.
Damn, damn, damn! I wanted a day away from this stuff! Why is everything with these freaks an excuse to rant about how people they don’t like are destroying the world? I can’t even imagine what a day with a Renew America writer would be like. If you asked them how they were doing, they’d complain that no one could possibly be doing well in a world filled with gay feminist schoolteachers who promote sex with fetuses in the classroom. If you tried to make small talk about the weather, you’d have to listen to a frothing screed about how Al Gore got the funding for his global warming falsehoods from George Soros’ Nazi gold and that there are subliminal messages in the film that encourage youths to smoke pot and vote Democratic. The world is a constant series of outrages for them, and nothing at all ever happens in this world that isn’t somehow part of a plot by liberals to cause each and every one of them personal affront.
It’s just too much already. Why is there so much crazy in the world, and where do I go to get away from it for a day?
Mister DNA said,
October 21, 2007 at 3:50
In other words, John Wayne is making a comeback. (You remember movie legend John Wayne. He was called Duke by his friends and was the “absolute all-time movie star.” It’s been said that he was as much a hero in real life as he ever was on-screen. John Wayne was the epitome of the man’s man.)
Welcome back, Duke!
From Repo Man: “John Wayne was a fag.“
mikey said,
October 21, 2007 at 3:54
Well-funded radical feminist and homosexual groups are behind the assault on schoolchildren.
Huh?
How ’bout:
The satellites broadcast on a hundred twenty six megacycles at eleven PM local time. If you count the number of times the birds chirp in “A” above “C” in a minute, and use that as a standard subtraction overlay algorithm for you issued texts, you will find in the personal hygiene section a secret message.
It should be in a Blowfish based hybrid cypher.
It should decrypt to plaintext of:
“We Surrender”….
mikey
Gundamhead said,
October 21, 2007 at 3:56
“It’s been said that he was as much a hero in real life as he ever was on-screen.”
Excuse me but what the fuck? How exactly was John Wayne a “hero” in real life? And if I may say so all this obsessiveness with what is “Masculine” and the word “Manergy” seems a bit, well, gay.
Smiling Mortician said,
October 21, 2007 at 4:02
Horacio Silva of the New York Times coined the term “menergy” to describe what he called “a campy contraction of ‘men’ and ‘energy’
Whew. Good thing she told me. Otherwise, I would have spent hours trying to figure it out.
GeoX said,
October 21, 2007 at 4:02
“Sodomfornia.” Wow. Did Marsha think of that all by herself?
phreed pheelps said,
October 21, 2007 at 4:04
Marsha West dreams that a big hairy Bridgeman will come
and give her a horse-fuckin.
pch1013 said,
October 21, 2007 at 4:05
Oh pleez, Mary. Everyone knows Miss Wayne’s real first name was “Marion.”
protected static said,
October 21, 2007 at 4:14
John Wayne was a fag.
Charles Krauthammer said,
October 21, 2007 at 4:17
I prefer ruralsexuals, myself.
Steve T. said,
October 21, 2007 at 4:20
Dick Cavett likes to tell of when he first met the Duke while he was filming a western. When Wayne swung off his horse Cavett was startled to hear him whistling a song from a Noel Coward musical. When Cavett mentioned this, Wayne’s face lit up, he said, “Isn’t that a wonderful show?” and quoted several pages of dialogue from memory.
So it turns out Madam Marsha’s ultimate macho he-man was actually a professional actor (real name: Marion Morrison) who dearly wished to do drawing room comedies, but couldn’t because it clashed with his image.
Lesley said,
October 21, 2007 at 4:20
a few other men who care about their appearance and therefore must be narcissistic, effeminate, have issues with their masculinity and I wouldn’t be attracted to AT ALL!! this guy for starters – let’s hear it ladies and gay gents…bleeeeeeeechhhhhhh, get him out of my sight.
and this guy – yuckerooni…no sireee, doesn’t cut the mustard.
You’d be MAD to find this one manly. Maybe if he put on a pair of overalls and sucked on a corncob pipe.
another ridiculously unappealing ….well what can you call him? a male I suppose.
the role model for metrosexuality; you couldn’t count the women who were attracted to him, because there weren’t any. Just as there weren’t for him or him or him.
If he’s not wearing a flight suit and a cod piece him gibbering bullshit on a tarmac with Mission Accomplished behind him he’s just not a man.
Matt T. said,
October 21, 2007 at 4:21
Reckon who funds them well-funded feminist groups? Think it might be the same people that’s paying off climate scientists to pretend global warming is for real?
And John Wayne was an actor, goddammit. An actor. Like Corey Feldman. He really wasn’t all that big a bad-ass. That’s just Hollywood.
Jesus. These people are delusional.
gbear said,
October 21, 2007 at 4:23
There’s already been a reaction against metrosexuals and we ain’t calling it ‘menergy’. We’re called ‘bears’ and we’re 20 years ahead of Ms West. We’re here, we’re queer, we’re heavy, hairy and get to scratch ourselves with impunity.
I can’t believe that all of those quotes were from the same article. It sounds like it came from completely seperate sections of a newspaper….and I’m with GeoX that ‘Sodomfornia’ is the clumsiest and lamest word ever coined.
dSmith said,
October 21, 2007 at 4:23
Henry Fonda, Jimmy Stewart, Clark Gable, David Niven and many other movie stars enlisted and fought in WWII. John Wayne stayed home and made movies about it. Consevatives always prefer a phony hero to a real one.
Some Guy said,
October 21, 2007 at 4:25
So you definitely don’t want to hear that Congress just passed a bill denying SCHIP to Turkish children and making it legal to rape Democrats in the ass?
“In other words, John Wayne is making a comeback. (You remember movie legend John Wayne. He was called Duke by his friends and was the “absolute all-time movie star.””
His real name is Marion Morrison (How’s THAT for not worrying about your image, hmm?), and he’s among a large group of era actors who were known for having “special buddies” on set, if you catch my drift.
“and that she’s probably never seen any ads for their clothing, either. ”
Shhh! Never let facts interfere with your wild statements.
“Gender ambiguity losing its appeal? Now that’s good news!”
I know. Life is soooo complicated and hard!
“The return of the man’s man ”
Too stupid to see the irony in their own writing. See, T3h Gays LIKE a man’s man. That’s the point.
“If you live in Sodomfornia you’d better start now, before your child is robbed of his or her innocence.”
Only if we call it TexAss and The Bible Gay-Blowjobs-in-Public-Restrooms Belt.
I don’t necessarily agree with the California thing (assuming it’s presented accurately here) but if there’s locker rooms involved, we can assume we’re talking HS-aged kids. I dunno, most high school kids know what people look like naked; fuck, I good portion have bonked crotches before they graduate. So I’m not really sure where this “ZOMG the gays are in ur base robbing ur inosense!” is supposed to be relevant.
Beyond that, why aren’t gay/lesbian students forced to change in their own little cubicals? Hmmm? Besides, lockers rooms, contrary to their presentation in porn films: Not very erotic.
The other side of that is that the only kids who are going to be WILLING to do that would be ones with extremely strong cross-gender tendencies. Guys don’t want to fuck the butch with hair shorter then theirs, and I would imagine chicks really wouldn’t mind the effeminate guy with no wandering eyes in there for the 45-seconds it takes to change outfits.
I dunno. Sticky subject, to be sure, but meh.
Johnny Coelacanth said,
October 21, 2007 at 4:44
Oh my god. Just when Marsha West thought we were safe from teh homos, it’s revealed that Dumbledore is GAY!
I just spent an enjoyable half hour over at freakrepugnant, reading the “throw away your Harry Potter books and teach your kids to read THE BIBLE” comments. Here’s my favorite: Marketing. Can’t sell a book, film or TV series unless there is a homosexual element involved. Gots’ta cater to the perverts. After all dollars is dollars, so to speak.
Yeah, JK Rowling is a billionaire now, gotta keep marketing those books to teh faggorts. As an aside, I also like how gays are either a tiny, meaningless minority and it makes no sense to change the laws to protect them/let them marry, or else they’re a big, scary group who MUST be catered to by the craven elite media.
To my pleasant surprise, there were quite a few folks defending Rowling and the Potter books. It’s good to have one’s stereotypes ruffled from time to time, and good to know not every Freeper is a complete mouth-breathing rube.
Eric said,
October 21, 2007 at 4:51
As noted above, gay men have already invented the anti-metrosexual…the “Bear”. “Menergy” sounds like a gay porn movie title.
This all reminds me of the Chicago Tribune ‘pink powder puff’ editorial back in the 1920s.
“A powder vending machine! In a men’s washroom! Homo Americanus! Why didn’t some one quietly drown Rudolph Guglielmo [sic] , alias Valentino, years ago?
And was the pink powder machine pulled from from the wall or ignored? It was not . It was used. We personally saw two “men”– as young lady contributors to the Voice of the people are wont to describe the breed– step up, insert coin, hold kerchief beneath the spout, pull the lever, then take the pretty pink stuff and put it on their cheeks in front the mirrior.
Another member of this department, one of the most benevolent men on earth, burst raging into the office the other day because he had seen a young “man” combing his pomaded hair in the elevator. But we claim our pink powder story beats his all hollow.
It is time for a matriarchy if the male of the species allows such things to persist. Better a rule by masculine women than by effeminate men. Man began to slip, we are beginning to believe, when he discarded the straight razor for the safety pattern. We shall not be surprised when we hear that the safety razor has given way to the depilatory.”
Johnny Coelacanth said,
October 21, 2007 at 4:56
“he had seen a young “man” combing his pomaded hair in the elevator.”
Combing your hair? How much more degenerate can you get? Next thing you know, they’ll start bathing and using spittoons.
Righteous Bubba said,
October 21, 2007 at 4:57
And so the homo takeover would bring…what? More homosexuality? Heavens, it’s worse than the black plague.
Mallard Fillmore said,
October 21, 2007 at 4:59
Hey! This bitch is stealing al my jokes!
Mallard Fillmore said,
October 21, 2007 at 5:00
Sorry.
ALL my jokes.
*hic*
Randomfactor said,
October 21, 2007 at 5:04
If this trend continues, maybe men will wind up ruling the world after a short period. We could call it “menarche.”
Johnny Coelacanth said,
October 21, 2007 at 5:06
lol Random
a different brad said,
October 21, 2007 at 5:06
Not only was John Wayne gay, I have a bootleg copy of a homemade 8mm film featuring John Wayne and Clark Gable dressed as nuns giving J Edgar Hoover sloppy head.
I’m not saying I ever watch it, but I do possess it.
BillyD said,
October 21, 2007 at 5:07
The last line of that article is the best.
“It is highly doubtful that there is a living member of the World War II generation who could have imagined that seventh-graders would one day be brought in shackles into an American courtroom for playfully swatting a girl’s buttocks,” Prager wrote.
BillyD said,
October 21, 2007 at 5:08
oops – I had wandered into a different article…. my bad.
http://www.wnd.com/news/article.asp?ARTICLE_ID=58162
JGabriel said,
October 21, 2007 at 5:16
‘Menergy’?
I can’t be the only person who thinks that sounds like the name of a gay leather bar, or the cologne you’d wear to one.
.
Karen said,
October 21, 2007 at 5:26
I have enough trouble convincing my two sons, ages 5 and 9, to take baths and brush their teeth. I SOOOOO do not need this dimwit implying that combs and soap are ickycootiesgirl stuff. If she thinks BO and a wardrobe consisting only of dirty T-shirts and a couple of pairs of ancient Wranglers is cool, please be my guest, but don’t go around telling the rest of the world that caring about one’s appearance in public is a bad thing.
Hoosier X said,
October 21, 2007 at 5:33
Since I’m a liberal and, thus, have no sense of humor, I don’t really see any cleverness or wit or humor in “Sodomfornia.”
I mean, it IS funny, but not in the way the writer intended.
Nia said,
October 21, 2007 at 5:36
Since I’m a liberal and, thus, have no sense of humor, I don’t really see any cleverness or wit or humor in “Sodomfornia.”
I’m not amused at all.
gbear said,
October 21, 2007 at 5:44
‘MENERGY’ – A sports drink that makes you belch.
Herr Doktor Bimler said,
October 21, 2007 at 6:05
maybe men will wind up ruling the world after a short period.
Mensheviks?
Soccer player David Beckham, who has been tagged the “ultimate metrosexual,” has helped break masculine codes.
OMG, they’ve cracked the cipher! Everyone switch to Triple-DES!
Mind you, Mikey is right about Blowfish, which is teh bomb.
Rightwingsnarkle said,
October 21, 2007 at 6:06
“Horacio Silva of the New York Times coined the term “menergy” to describe what he called “a campy contraction of ‘men’ and ‘energy’ that sounds like the name of a congenital bachelors’ bar…”
Shit. And to think that all this time I’ve been saying, “enema” as a campy contraction of ‘energy’ and ‘man,’ that also sounds like the name of a congenital bachelors’ bar.
Why am I always the last one to find out this stuff?
Rightwingsnarkle said,
October 21, 2007 at 6:16
Wait a minute. Did this twit actually say “congenital bachelors’ bar.”
Congenital, as in “acquired during fetal development?”
Perhaps she meant to say “congenial,” as in “agreeable, suitable, or pleasing in nature,” but the extra ‘t’ got in there, well, because she was seriously contemplating genitals.
g said,
October 21, 2007 at 6:19
Hi, y’all. I been out at the beach eating fried clams, so I haven’t had time to check the comments.
But my first take on this is —
I Brad Pitt and David Beckham are examples of “metrosexuals”?? – I think those grapes are way too sour for Marsha.
Herr Doktor Bimler said,
October 21, 2007 at 6:24
the role model for metrosexuality; you couldn’t count the women who were attracted to him, because there weren’t any. Just as there weren’t for him or him or him.
If he’s not wearing a flight suit and a cod piece him gibbering bullshit on a tarmac with Mission Accomplished behind him he’s just not a man.
Lesley, you’re missing the point. Real manly-men do not want to be attractive to women. To be the object of feminine lust is enough to call one’s masculinity into question. After all, they might contaminate the purity of our precious bodily fluids.
freddy said,
October 21, 2007 at 6:27
Interior decorating for the Real Man:
The showerhead at the ranch’s modest bathroom is a replica of the Liberty Bell.
I kid you not.
RandomObserver said,
October 21, 2007 at 6:40
I think it’s incredibly lame that Rowling said Dumbledore is gay after she’s made her millions instead of writing him as overtly gay in the books and maybe losing a few bucks in the process.
g said,
October 21, 2007 at 6:42
I think instead of those effeminate metrosexuals like George Clooney, Brad Pitt, and David Beckham, Marsha prefers a real manly, attractive man like that steaming hunk of testosterone Fred Thompson or Rudy Giuliani or George Bush.
Is she honestly using a male model as evidence that “manliness” is coming back?
You really can’t make this shit up.
Legalize said,
October 21, 2007 at 6:45
What?! A lot of men like to watch their buddies fuck! I know I do ….
Dammit, wrong thread.
Righteous Bubba said,
October 21, 2007 at 6:48
I think it’s incredibly lame that Rowling said Dumbledore is gay after she’s made her millions instead of writing him as overtly gay in the books and maybe losing a few bucks in the process.
I think it’s incredibly amusing that she’ll let Hollywood take the bath on it (if any).
gbear said,
October 21, 2007 at 7:04
Random, Can someone be overtly gay when they’re not getting any? I mean, I can scream my orientation from the mountaintop, but when I go home alone there’s not much that anyone’s going to want to read about. Do you really want to have sexual details or yearnings in regard to someone in charge of a school in a childrens book?
maryc said,
October 21, 2007 at 7:10
“menergy”? Am I the only humming the jingle, “Sheeeer, MENergy!” and imagining Joyce DeWitt tap dancing in a pair of Leggs control top pantyhose?
And as far as Dumbledore goes, anyone who’s read the last book nodded their heads and thought, “Ohhhhh! That’s why he made friends with that one evil guy!”–Albus was hot for the bad boys!
protected static said,
October 21, 2007 at 7:29
Why, yes. Yes, you are.
galactic Dustbin said,
October 21, 2007 at 8:26
Shorter Marsha West:
” This guy in the D&G Commericals makes me wet, but I cant admit it, so here is some right wing screching to fill the hollow, sexless void that is my life”
MaryC said,
October 21, 2007 at 8:28
Henry Fonda, Jimmy Stewart, Clark Gable, David Niven and many other movie stars enlisted and fought in WWII. John Wayne stayed home and made movies about it.
Not only did he not enlist, Wayne asked for and got 3 deferments — one for family reasons and 2 for “the national interest”, i.e for being a movie star.
But this woman would never believe you if you told her that. These people want to be stupid.
paul said,
October 21, 2007 at 8:34
She’s just bent out of shape that Beckham, et al, are better looking than she is and with less effort. Seriously, who told her that headshot of hers was flattering?
Lesley said,
October 21, 2007 at 8:52
Everything you need to know about Marsha West can be gleaned from perusing her column titles, like these for example:
Ruthie said,
October 21, 2007 at 9:01
RE: David Gandy: “He’s the hard-bodied hunk…”
That’s not “hard-bodied”–it’s borderline anorexic.
Rightwingsnarkle said,
October 21, 2007 at 9:06
I actually attended “The McJesus Seminar,” and the food was pretty good filling and relatively cheap.
Now I gotta go read Tongue Barbells and Sodomy. I wonder what it might be about…
GotDaFeevah said,
October 21, 2007 at 9:34
I wonder what they think feminists are teaching that would be considered an “alternative lifestyle.”
Is it like: “Hey, Little Susie! When you grow up you get to have a job if you want. And your husband will not be allowed to beat you. Also, if someone ever rapes you (even if it is someone you know), it is not your fault and you should report it so he can go to jail.”
Are these the scary messages the wingnuts don’t want their children exposed to? Really?
merlallen said,
October 21, 2007 at 9:37
Is she talking about Doug Giles?
anon said,
October 21, 2007 at 9:41
Please, God, please, let Dan Reihl and Confederate Yankee argue West’s case. Dear God, you big hunk of a God, I’m on my knees to you for one reason and one reason only. I pray that let Dan Reihl and the Conderate Yankee stand up for manly girly men everywhere. If you are a kind and benvolent God with good abs, I pray to you. Even if you are a harsh and vengeful God, more of a Karl Landerfield meets Karl Rove on the runway at AEI, kind of God, please guide Dan Reihl and Confederate Yankee to testify and witness to the Godliness that is Menergy. Even if you are a passive aggressive God in awe of the Great Yellow Satan please make Dan Reihl and Confederate Yankee feel moved by YOUR manly spirit to give us a sign that they are in touch with the hunking-naked-on-the-cross-manly God we know you are.
Flying Fox said,
October 21, 2007 at 10:10
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-3663366153630408608&q=Kojima+Yoshio&total=28&start=0&num=10&so=0&type=search&plindex=2
Does this qualify as menergy? Or anything really?
I don’t mean to hijack this into a “The Japanese are weird thread.” Just putting that out there.
scaramouche said,
October 21, 2007 at 10:12
If anyone know about menergy it must be Horacio Silva.
Just look at his pic and you can see he has the eye: http://cache.viewimages.com/xc/51275840.jpg?v=1&c=ViewImages&k=2&d=17A4AD9FDB9CF1939847EC77F5F8D1CE7648B838051A6673A40A659CEC4C8CB6
Anne Laurie said,
October 21, 2007 at 10:29
And if I may say so all this obsessiveness with what is “Masculine” and the word “Manergy” seems a bit, well, gay.
Somebody needs to introduce Ms. West to the term “fag hag”. If she knew there were others out there like her — that in some places (okay, mostly not Red State places) her very special urges are not mocked*, not treated as ananthema — perhaps she could let go of the self-loathing & bitterness. Then she could find something to write about that didn’t involve attacking other peoples’ beliefs via weird Talibangelical fever-dream boogeymen.
Seriously. Some of the biggest Gay-Guy-Worshippers I’ve ever met were raised in the fine fundamentalist tradition where Men were Beasts and Women were Cattle. Something about growing up being told that “real” men are hygiene-challenged serial rapists and “real” women actually enjoy such men inspires not a few Godfearing Redstate gals into a fascination with pretty, pretty, male-magazine model guys who are just Not That Into Them. Because if these good church-going ladies were to accept that not *every* action, choice, or person could be divided into two simple yes/no, good/bad, us/them categories… well, that would just shake the foundations of their whole worldview
*Okay, except by some of the gays themselves. But even the cattiest queens would probably take pity on Marsha and help her find a more attractive hairstyle and some foundation that didn’t look like she’d applied it with a pallet knife, right?
owlbear1 said,
October 21, 2007 at 10:30
It stuns me how dismissive she must be of her readers that she doesn’t bother to find out more about Dolce & Gabbana before her little Bonnie Tyler remix.
Ruthie said,
October 21, 2007 at 10:41
*Okay, except by some of the gays themselves. But even the cattiest queens would probably take pity on Marsha and help her find a more attractive hairstyle and some foundation that didn’t look like she’d applied it with a pallet knife, right?
No. NO! Michael would have helped her trowel on a bit more spackle, and told her she looked absolutely stunning–with a straight face. At times like this I miss Michael….
Bistroist said,
October 21, 2007 at 10:44
Sodomfornia??
Now really Martha, that’s just lazy. Why not Californicationa or Gaily Narnia? Put some menergy into it, dammit.
Humor Me said,
October 21, 2007 at 10:48
That was fine. Thanks for your sacrifice Jillian.
Sounds like a concept album. “Tongue Barbells and Sodomy”
The songs write themselves.
The Visigoth said,
October 21, 2007 at 11:01
90% of conservatism is tilting at imaginary windmills and then “declaring victory.” It isn’t the unreal definition and fetishization of masculinity that gets me, it’s the “we won, ha-ha” snotty tone.
“A-ha! Metrosexualty is going out of style! My example? A super-femmie male model! Huzzah! Victory IS MINE! Suck it, queens!”
There was a Michelle Malkin article a few years ago where, appalled by young people in hip-jeans, she crowed over how Britney’s album sales are low, and this is a sign of a more enlightened America. She was right, but not in the way she meant.
Also…can’t a guy be sexy AND masculine too?
Can’t a guy be Tarzan: a rugged outdoors guy and he-man, but with a gym sculpted bod and killer long hair?
I hate conservatives and their either-or categories.
Amazingly enough, I recently discovered that most of the Tarzan covers done in the 1980s had Fabio as their model. I mean, look for yourself:
http://www.randomhouse.com/images/dyn/cover/?source=9780345315755&height=300&maxwidth=170
What guys has Witchenstein up there been hanging around with? Guys are as slobbish as ever. I live with a few, and the place always smells like musk ox in mating season. Christ!
Humor Me said,
October 21, 2007 at 11:08
From tongue barbells and sodomy;
Christ, I can’t stop staring at it..must. look. away ..
Herr Doktor Bimler said,
October 21, 2007 at 11:08
Tongue Barbells and Sodomy; McJesus Seminar
I’d Rather Have Jesus Than a Chocolate Easter Bunny
Words Are Whatever I Say They Are
These are a few of my favourite things…
Gundamhead said,
October 21, 2007 at 11:21
“I don’t mean to hijack this into a “The Japanese are weird thread.” Just putting that out there”
Hey man, say what you want about Japanese game shows. But at least they aren’t boring. That’s more we can say in the U.S.
Rightwingsnarkle said,
October 21, 2007 at 11:22
Thanks for the excerpt, Humor Me.
She managed to follow a sentence on anal health with one about frying fish.
The lady’s got talent…
Humor Me said,
October 21, 2007 at 11:47
She has a point. The last time I tried to engage some kids at the skatepark about their ” anal health “, they looked at me like I was from mars or something. It’s all about the x-box or the Google with these reckless punks today. Don’t they have “anal health week” in the schools anymore? Or is it all “Culture of Death Condom Fair” nowadays?
Inmate #10594 said,
October 21, 2007 at 11:53
Man, you got lucky.
justme said,
October 21, 2007 at 11:55
Damn you, Mr DNA…
Yeah, first thing into my head, too.
Somehow, I don’t think she has looked very closely at her fount of “menergy” or just what sort he might have been referring to. I mean, I don’t think she’s actually seen Horacio Silva, but I would have at least expected her to know that he was a raging queen simply from the act that he’s writing for that NYT thing. Where all the other writers are either feminists, or gay, or both.
Hellooooooo, honey. New York. Fashion writer. Anybody home?
Here’s who you’ve got making the call that metrosexuals are extinct.
http://www.hispaniconline.com/magazine/2006/february/features/powerful_people2.html
bottom of the page.
Rightwingsnarkle said,
October 21, 2007 at 12:05
Man, sometimes following teh wingnut links is like biting on a bad tooth – it hurts like hell, but I just can’t stop doing it.
To wit, I noticed in Ms Marsha’s bio that she’s “designer and webmaster of a Christian apologetics website, On Solid Rock Resources.”
I’ll find out what “Christian apologetics” is all about later, but for now I just gotta tell you that the lady’s got madd web design skillz.
Be sure to scroll to the bottom for the full effect.
Humor Me said,
October 21, 2007 at 12:12
You know, inmate #10594, there’s always an early parole with Jesus. And, funny you should mention it, but it wasn’t a very lucky day at all at the skatepark. When I got back to my car, I found all 4 tires had gone flat, (I know, what are the chances?!), and a brick had fallen through my windshield. And the brick had apparently been in some dog poo. So, not very lucky at all!
God Bless!
Bistroist said,
October 21, 2007 at 12:13
Mwahaha!
To be fair, apparently it only counts Christians, so you never know. May be a huge hit in hindu circles.
Qetesh the Abyssinian said,
October 21, 2007 at 12:17
Re Yoshio Kojima: those wacky Japanese. I love the way some of them are willing to totally abase themselves for a laugh.
Rightwingsnarkle, that website was scary with a capital scare. I think my retinas have detached and are sliding slowly down my cheeks, because of that cheeky blue-on-red effect.
And Bistroist, you beat me to it. Us damned souls just don’t count.
But I, too, am wondering what “Christian apologetics” means. Does it mean saying they’re very, very sorry for two millennia of atrocities, and they’ll never, ever do it again?
Rightwingsnarkle said,
October 21, 2007 at 12:23
Apparently, Chritian apologists ain’t apologizing for shit.
Humor Me said,
October 21, 2007 at 12:24
Kinda reminded me of Talking Heads ’77 before I went blind.
Humor Me said,
October 21, 2007 at 12:29
Being a Christian means never having to say you’re sorry.
Or maybe, I’m sorry for being right, doomed devil-worshiper.
Xel said,
October 21, 2007 at 12:31
Gender Identity Disorder can be medically and cognitively proven – the California act isn’t that symbolical. GID is a very troubling condition to have – especially in the regressive, conformist and christian prejudices-coddling environment many if not most conservatives desire.
Schwarzenegger gained points with me for this.
Thomas said,
October 21, 2007 at 12:53
As has been mentioned, John Wayne’s real name was Marion, not the butchest, to be sure. And just watch him walk in one of those movies. Not the manliest swagger, sweetie.
D. Sidhe said,
October 21, 2007 at 13:53
Look, ladies! Iron John is back! It’s like the bestest early Christmas present ever!
Perhaps Marsha has never actually met any human beings. I think it would explain a lot about her writing.
M. Bouffant said,
October 21, 2007 at 14:57
Marsha, like so many of her Xtian friends, is concerned only w/ surfaces & the shallow. I heard that one of the “stop being gay” outfits (Exodus?) was mostly concerned w/ getting the gay guys to play softball or other sports & w/ getting lipstick on the gay gals. I wonder if each group helped the other? “No, Bruce, you still throw like a girl, but thanks for the lipstick tips.”
More on Marsha & God’s Dress Code.
Thlayli said,
October 21, 2007 at 15:12
She wrote a paragraph about sodomy, and finished with “Just suck it up”?
Homegirl got SKILLZ, y’all.
Spokane Moderate said,
October 21, 2007 at 16:02
When I want to vanquish teh gay, I go to fashion shows in Milan.
Ryan said,
October 21, 2007 at 16:07
Oh my god, that is fucking priceless. “Menergy” is a classic Hi-NRG/Italo track by the very, very gay Patrick Cowley. That’s like launching your new ultra-hetero-no-queers-allowed fashion line (for men! [manly ones!]) and calling it “The Donna Summer Collection.”
Ryan said,
October 21, 2007 at 16:09
And wait, “reclining in a Speedo the size of an eyepatch” to sell perfume is…not gay? ME AM BIZARRO NUMBER ONE, ME AM SO HAPPY ME CRY
Marq said,
October 21, 2007 at 16:44
Awwwwwww–!
Shit!
I just spilled some of my precious bodily fluids onto my cum rag!
Hell.
Marq said,
October 21, 2007 at 17:45
Eek! HIV! Teh butt-secks!!!
Oh, wait. The actual most common “disastrous consequence” of teen promiscuity is a little thing called “pregnancy.” Surprisingly enough, most kids aren’t really prepared to devote 18 years of their lives taking care of Junior. In fact, many of them haven’t lived 18 years yet themselves when that little bundle of joy drops into their lives.
But someone like Marsha never seems to realize any of these things.
MrWonderful said,
October 21, 2007 at 18:44
Humor Me–
The idea of a song entitled “Christian Yoga? C’mon!” has seized my imagination. Thanks for hijacking a perfectly good Sunday.
JAFL said,
October 21, 2007 at 18:58
My favorite nugget from “Christian Yoga? C’mon” is “The ACLU would file a lawsuit faster than the speed of a 56K modem.” I imagine the mental imagery involved. “Is the ACLU faster than a 28K? Probably. But certainly not as fast as DSL”.
stringonastick said,
October 21, 2007 at 19:01
I’m related to one of thes Renew America freaks, and an hour (I can’t last a whole day, that would be bad for anyone’s mental health) is EXACTLY as you describe it. Case in point: I was looking over a 1945 Life magazine we’d found in the grandparents house, I noted how the text was quite wordy. This was followed by my nutjob sister ranting for 30 minutes about how libruls have destroyed education in Murika and the media is now all a giant propaganda machine to support the librul agenda of destroyed education, to make us all stupid enough to be controlled by the black helicopter people, god and country is falling into perdition, blah, blah, blah. I think the look of WFT? in my eyes is all that made her shut up that time, but that doesn’t work anymore so I just avoid her like the plague that she is. Oh, and she hates my Jewish husband because he is well, Jewish and therefore an affront to all the is holy in her hate-filled Xtianist world. In this case, blood is not thicker than water and you can’t make me spend time with this woman! I’d rather eat bugs.
Caveat said,
October 21, 2007 at 19:54
I know a guy who lives in a remote area with his wife and his Doberman.
He believes the gays are actively recruiting, ie, that his grandchildren are at risk of being conscripted into the ever-expanding, ruthless gay army whose goal is, of course the domination of all the white-breads with heads up their orifices who think they have to explain who John Wayne was because their readership is less well informed than they are, which is some going..
Lots o’ nuts out there…
Ganesh Bengal Cat said,
October 21, 2007 at 20:01
I’d rather eat bugs.
Bugs are good.
Jason said,
October 21, 2007 at 20:25
I drink Powerthirst for my MENERGY:
400 BABIES
Hysterical Woman said,
October 21, 2007 at 20:48
Reminds me of this classic Sexy Losers (link NSFW): http://sexylosers.com/173.html
JGabriel said,
October 21, 2007 at 20:59
RandomObserver: “I think it’s incredibly lame that Rowling said Dumbledore is gay after she’s made her millions instead of writing him as overtly gay in the books and maybe losing a few bucks in the process.”
That may well be. But just off the top of my head, I can think of two others best-selling fantasy authors who have done the same thing: Neil Gaiman and Raymond Feist. And neither of them had even the weak excuse that they were writing for a children’s audience, as Rowling was.
Anyway, Gaiman stated in an interview that one of the characters in Nevermind was gay, but he never said it in the book because he didn’t want the character to be only about the sexual orientation or percieved that way. And Feist, when asked in a list if two of the male characters were gay, replied (rough quote from memory), “They lived together for 30 years, until death, of course they were gay.”
So I’m kind of loathe to pass judgement on Rowling over her decision not to be explicit about Dumbledore’s orientation in the books. Seems like we’d end up condemning a lot of other authors as well.
Herr Doktor Bimler said,
October 21, 2007 at 23:30
Iron John is back!
About time too. I miss the full-moon drumming workshops.
DEMIZE! said,
October 21, 2007 at 23:46
That’s funny”prepare to recieve my menergy!”is what I always say right before I’m about to you know;ejaculate.Just sayin…
JoXn said,
October 22, 2007 at 3:49
David Gandy has a great body to hang clothes off of, and is decently attractive when posed, but looks awkward and misshapen in motion.
This gay guy says — let the Marshas of the world keep him!
commie atheist said,
October 22, 2007 at 7:07
“Sodomfornia.” Wow. Did Marsha think of that all by herself?
She wanted to use “Californication,” but that was already taken.
djanguna » Putting The Satyr In Saturday said,
October 22, 2007 at 14:27
[...] more here [...]
Rufus said,
October 22, 2007 at 19:12
“Well-funded radical feminist and homosexual groups are behind the assault on schoolchildren. ”
That’s the first time I’ve heard Mitch McConnel and Michelle Malkin described as “radical feminist and homosexual groups,” but I’m sure it won’t be the last.
Jake H. said,
October 22, 2007 at 20:59
So, just to recap–sport coats with button-up shirts and no tie–TEH SUPER GAY. Oiled up hairless muscles and eyepatch-sized speedos–TEH DUKE HAS RETURNED!!111!!
She should check out some gay strip clubs so she can really bask in the glory of renewed American values.