Oct
18
18
Have Pants, Will Load
Go read Glennzilla’s hilarious book report on the allegedly forthcoming title, Goddammit, Mom, That Old Coot Buckley Won’t Give Me A Raise And You Never Said I’d Have To Work So Hard When You Got Me My Job At National Review So Fuck You Mom Just FUCK YOU TO HELL YOU FUCKING BITCH!!!1!: The Jonah Goldberg Story.*
* Now with a brand new afterword: “Get Me A Fucking Coke, Mom, You Whore; And How Come J-Pod Gets A Window Cube And You Never Got Me That Boba Fett Action Figure I Fucking Wanted When I Was 9? That Totally Scarred Me For Life, You Heartless Cow! Fuck You Fuck You Fuck You Just Leave Me Alone I Wish I Was Never Born I HATE YOU!!!!”
Cangrejero said,
October 18, 2007 at 21:52
A theory: those raised by ultra conservative parents will desire so strongly to be loved by their strict mothers and fathers that they will become the ideal subjects for a fascist regime: ie ultraconservatives themselves.
Maxwell Perkins said,
October 18, 2007 at 21:59
All he needed was this:
National Review, like Jonah, hates “handouts,” believes strongly in the glorious virtues of self-sufficiency and pulling oneself up by one’s bootstraps (and, apparently, by one’s unsevered umbilical cords).
Righteous Bubba said,
October 18, 2007 at 22:01
That link didn’t work for me. This one did:
http://www.salon.com/opinion/greenwald/2007/10/16/neonepotism/index.html
D. Aristophanes said,
October 18, 2007 at 22:04
Thanks, RB … fixed.
Will said,
October 18, 2007 at 22:08
I Wish I Was Never Born
So do we, Jonah, so do we.
Snowwy said,
October 18, 2007 at 22:11
Glenn had become so dry even I had stopped reading him on a daily basis. Good to see he’s still got the kung-fu to bitchslap the ever living hell out of the neocons.
Pvt. Joker said,
October 18, 2007 at 22:16
Jonah Goldberg is an anagram of handjoblogger.
tbogg said,
October 18, 2007 at 22:19
Any post involving Jonah can be improved immeasurably by the addition of a cheesecake* photo. I know these things to be true.
*Not real cheesecake, so sit down Jonah.
Cangrejero said,
October 18, 2007 at 22:19
Oh my, that was beautiful, Pvt. Joker.
owlbear1 said,
October 18, 2007 at 22:28
I think Glen is bumping into that “Gooper language” barrier.
Glen forgets that in Gooper parlance, “Rugged Individualist” roughly translates to “Thanks for the Job, Mom!”
t4toby said,
October 18, 2007 at 22:29
I second that, Cangrejero!
Yay Private Joker!
MzNicky said,
October 18, 2007 at 22:30
ahem.
Now this is cheesecake. Which has nothing to do with Doughy, but what the hell.
MzNicky said,
October 18, 2007 at 22:31
I mean, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with DoughBob PantLoad. Not even on the same planet.
David Robinson said,
October 18, 2007 at 22:34
If Jonah isn’t a terrorist why does everyone refer to him as
Seldom bin Laid?
freddy said,
October 18, 2007 at 22:42
Cheesecake, begging for a sammich.
MzNicky said,
October 18, 2007 at 22:48
freddy: Naw, that’s a cheese ball.
mikey said,
October 18, 2007 at 22:48
All I wanted was a pepsi…
mikey
MCH said,
October 18, 2007 at 22:54
The polemic against Mrs Goldberg, it must be pointed out, contains meticulous arguments that have never been made with such detail or such care.
In a delightful bit of synergy, Wolcott trashed Pantload today, too.
Legalize said,
October 18, 2007 at 22:55
Have Load, Will Handjoblog?
bklyn said,
October 18, 2007 at 23:26
Boba Fett?
Leonard Pierce said,
October 18, 2007 at 23:31
Is Jonah going to have to retitle the book again when someone informs him that Mussolini was (a) not a leftist and (b) not an American?
I hope not, because it’ll really affect the progress of my new best-seller, A Guide to Living Polynesian Buddhists: From Mother Theresa to Jerry Falwell.
Pinch IV, Jr. said,
October 18, 2007 at 23:42
Say what you will about nepotism but at least it worked for the NYTimes …unless you’re a stockholder.
Kathleen said,
October 18, 2007 at 23:54
two minutes on the Great Gazoogle has provided the answer to the question “Politics of Meaning, what the fuck?”
First, I give you Michael Lerner. He wrote a book called The Politics of Meaning: He is/was a rabbi in San Francisco AND co-authored a book with Cornel West. clearly a fascist.
Next, we learn that Hillary Clinton likes him!
“Michael Lerner fears ridicule, with good reason. His “politics of meaning” is a farrago of nonsense, one absurd assertion tumbling over another. But we dare not laugh too much: this man is dangerous. Hillary Clinton takes him seriously.” [Summer 1996]
How did America survive becoming a fascists state in the 1990s anyway?!
something tells me that this book is giong to end up being published in January 2009, when President H. Clinton is sworn in.
attacking the Clintons is what Goldberg et al does “best.”
stringonastick said,
October 18, 2007 at 23:59
Kathleen said:
attacking the Clintons is what Goldberg et al does “best.”
Indeed, it is what he was cloned for and what truly loads his pants. handjoblogger is exactly what he is, and apparently it pays quite well in the right circles.
mikey said,
October 19, 2007 at 0:04
One can’t but wonder what might happen if (when?) they trace the bombings in Karachi to the ISI. Ah well, as fucked up as it is over there, at least bush can take comfort in the fact that he’s only responsible for about 75% of it…
mikey
Dinner De Suzah said,
October 19, 2007 at 0:14
So, why exactly did Lucianne send her little boy to an all woman’s college?
Was she afraid he’d get hung on the doorknob by his Hanes again, like in elementary school? Or is he really that much of a girl himself, he wanted to be with others that had shared interests?
ahem said,
October 19, 2007 at 0:40
I see that Doughbob Loadpants’ book has yet another subtitle and another publication date. I hope that the pulping fee for those slipcovers is coming out of his advance.
Snorghagen said,
October 19, 2007 at 1:01
Maybe so, but what’s Gertrude Himmelfarb an anagram of?
Roket said,
October 19, 2007 at 1:27
Get him blured farmer.
pch1013 said,
October 19, 2007 at 1:29
Bi meth flag murderer
Pere Ubu said,
October 19, 2007 at 1:39
Goddamnit, mikey, you HAD to go and post it first…
“I go:
Mom just give me a Pepsi please
All I want is a Pepsi, and she wouldn’t give it to me
All I wanted was a Pepsi, just one Pepsi, and she wouldn’t give it to me.
Just a Pepsi.”
scary we think that much alike.
John O said,
October 19, 2007 at 1:43
handjobblogger is even better than Dough Bob Load Pants.
Make it work, people.
Interesting how wingnuts have their own version of welfare, no? God forbid we outlaw nepotism. Christ, they’d all be serving donuts at 7-11. Including and maybe especially George Bush The Lesser.
Morons.
I can’t believe how funny and great S,N! is. Truly consistently spectacular. You commenters, too.
Notorious P.A.T. said,
October 19, 2007 at 1:53
If Jonah isn’t a terrorist why does everyone refer to him as
Seldom bin Laid?
I just spewed chocolate milk all over the place.
That George Clooney is a handsome man.
Gus said,
October 19, 2007 at 2:32
Miz Nicky, that is beefcake, not cheesecake.
mikey said,
October 19, 2007 at 3:07
Ubu, if you can’t find meaning in this thread from the art of Cyco Miko, the deal is, you’re just not looking for art.
Maybe you’re looking for farts. Or Go-Karts. Or Lawn Darts.
But Mike Muir told it to us. It was up to us to get it.
Roger that?
mikey
ignobility said,
October 19, 2007 at 3:09
Yay MzNicky!
Huffy Henry said,
October 19, 2007 at 3:14
I wonder how many caddies have bet on Goldberg’s booger-picking?
MzNicky said,
October 19, 2007 at 3:47
Gus: I’m a vegetarian, so for me it’s cheesecake.
ummm….cheesecake…..
Syndicalist said,
October 19, 2007 at 3:52
What’s so sad about handjoblogger is that in Jonah’s case my first thought was “Yeah, he did have his job handed to him.”
mikey said,
October 19, 2007 at 4:05
Now come on. You guys are sounding quite judgemental. A handjob is a perfectly normal, rational, reasonable, suburban, missionary kind of thing that anybody might do if, say, they were on vacation and they wanted to save a couple dollars.
Right?
mikey
MrWonderful said,
October 19, 2007 at 4:45
“what’s Gertrude Himmelfarb an anagram of?”
Fear me—blight, murder.
Fried hamburger melt.
Ur-right femme blared.
Hm. Rude glibertar’ fem?
Mr. R. Limbaugh (ret.)—deef!
Sadly, Cambridgeport said,
October 19, 2007 at 4:55
A theory: those raised by ultra conservative parents will desire so strongly to be loved by their strict mothers and fathers that they will become the ideal subjects for a fascist regime: ie ultraconservatives themselves.
Not quite. Some of us realize that our parents will never love us and try to stay invisible until we are old enough to catch a ride to a place that isn’t a cornfield or a suburb. This tends to be bad for our mental health but good for our funness at parties.
ortho_bob said,
October 19, 2007 at 6:11
According to Amazon, right now Liberal Fascism: The Secret History of the American Left, From Mussolini to the Politics of Meaning (or whatever it’s called tonight) despite not being published for another 3 months (ha ha) is doing well in the following categories:
#53 in Books > Health, Mind & Body > Diets & Weight Loss > Special Conditions > Whole Foods
Diets & Weight Loss? Special conditions indeed!
Dan Someone said,
October 19, 2007 at 7:21
I’m not crazy.
You’re the one who’s crazy.
D. Aristophanes said,
October 19, 2007 at 8:02
INSTITUTIONALIZED!!!!
Bookish said,
October 19, 2007 at 12:56
It doesn’t really become “true” nepotism until the unholy union of Kagan/Kristol/Goldberg/Bellow/Podhoretz spawns a slime-oozing tribble that is installed as head of the Heritage Foundation.
MzNicky said,
October 19, 2007 at 15:20
Some of us realize that our parents will never love us and try to stay invisible until we are old enough to catch a ride to a place that isn’t a cornfield or a suburb. This tends to be bad for our mental health but good for our funness at parties.
Sadly, Cambridgeport: I think we may have been separated at birth.
Namaste again, big time.
MzNicky said,
October 19, 2007 at 15:22
Okay, that doesn’t even make any sense. More coffee please.
Notorious P.A.T. said,
October 19, 2007 at 16:13
Gus: I’m a vegetarian, so for me it’s cheesecake.
Tofucake?
MzNicky said,
October 19, 2007 at 16:18
Vegetarian, dude, not vegan.
I don’t care what they say, I won’t stay in a world without cheese.
JoshWatermanMN said,
October 19, 2007 at 16:20
Since we are discussing anagrams, “Rush Limbaugh” forms the anagram, “Rim Bush, Laughs,” which describes his show perfectly.
And Ann Coulter forms, “Unclean Rot,” which we all knew, really.
Tara the anti-social social worker said,
October 19, 2007 at 16:52
The anagrams are awesome. Wonder what you can make out of my name?
I’ll just do like Jonah and ask the posters to do the work for me.
pch1013 said,
October 19, 2007 at 18:55
“Tofucake?”
“Sadly, No!” is an anagram of “Soyland,!”.
Coincidence? I think not.
pch1013 said,
October 19, 2007 at 19:04
Heritage Foundation =
A fogie fag-hatred union
Tongue an idiot fart, eh?
Tara the anti-social social worker said,
October 20, 2007 at 0:29
Fine, make me do my own work.
Lucianne Goldberg = La Non-Lucid Begger
Bill O’Reilly = Ye ill, ill bore
MzNicky said,
October 20, 2007 at 2:17
I can’t check this thread out anymore. Those underpants are just too appalling.
Marq said,
October 20, 2007 at 10:50
Now, that book I’d buy!
.
Or, at least, check out from teh lieberry, anyway.
Marq said,
October 22, 2007 at 18:58
Also, I’d lurve to have a pair of tighty-whities like those, only with the smiley’s tongue hanging out.