Oct
17
17
Shorter Mark Hemingway
Above: Wingnut welfare poster child Mark Hemingway
- Living a miserable, fearful life is the only acceptable way for parents to keep their sick children alive. It’s the new American Dream!
‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard.
Incidentally, Republicans, I think you should take the wingnuts’ advice and start attacking more working-class people who can’t afford health insurance. I guarantee it’s going to be a win-win stance on election day.
Via Thers.
islmfaoscist said,
October 17, 2007 at 17:35
The more you suffer, the more it shows you really care. Right? Yeah.
Steve said,
October 17, 2007 at 17:36
Is the RNC e-mail list broken or something? These people have totally forgotten that they’re supposed to be passing themselves off as NASCAR-loving champions of the common man.
zsa said,
October 17, 2007 at 17:42
I’m sorry, but wouldn’t “Shorter Mark Hemingway” be “Actual Danny DeVito”?
Wally Whateley said,
October 17, 2007 at 17:48
If we start calling Mark Hemingway “Papa Doc,” will anyone get the joke?
NobodySpecial said,
October 17, 2007 at 17:49
b) for the love of all that is holy, keep your children out of political debates.
I support this, if for no other reason than JPod, the Kagans, and all the other generational wingnut welfare cases would have to shut their pieholes once and for all.
Whaddaya say? I got some duct tape cheap a few years back - it’s still sticky.
roy edroso said,
October 17, 2007 at 17:52
Once upon a time the Republicans thought: Paupers are always bitching about rights, so let’s get middle-class people riled up about their rights! Freedom from taxation, and endless preferential treatment! They’ll vote for us forever!
Eventually, the middle-class people began to actually believe what they had been encouraged to believe, and the Republicans had to get out the firehoses.
It’s getting so the risk of national ruin hardly bothers me at all, and I can just enjoy the pratfalls.
Bistroist said,
October 17, 2007 at 17:58
Surely it would be The Most Evil Hobbit in the Shire.
…because they’re both named Mark, only Steyn is shorter than Hemingway, geddit?
…eh, whatever
Chis Collinsworth said,
October 17, 2007 at 18:02
It always comes down to the shortest of the shorters: Blame the victim.
Rightwingsnarkle said,
October 17, 2007 at 18:08
We’ll have to go with shorter, because I don’t want to contemplate wider.
J— said,
October 17, 2007 at 18:08
What a tremendous safety pin.
moondancer said,
October 17, 2007 at 18:10
A rovian stud muffin.
MCH said,
October 17, 2007 at 18:11
“Zimmy” would say: “Oh the diaper, it needs a changin’…”
Bistroist said,
October 17, 2007 at 18:11
There’s a whole lot o’ crap to keep safe inside that …garment.
Grand Moff Texan said,
October 17, 2007 at 18:13
The Little People are consuming too much, making it harder to get them to subsidize the upper class’ lifestyle.
And that’s bad.
.
moron said,
October 17, 2007 at 18:14
Brad just won the photoshop war hands down — not only every photoshop war that have already taken place, but all the photoshop wars that will ever happen from now until the end of time.
Rightwingsnarkle said,
October 17, 2007 at 18:15
OT, but worth checking. Instahack’s pointed to it.
Hugh Hewitt said,
October 17, 2007 at 18:16
I’ve always wanted a rack like that.
Rightwingsnarkle said,
October 17, 2007 at 18:16
“all the photoshop wars that will ever happen”
That’s a pre-9/11 mindset, moron. It’s all just one long Photoshop war, now.
Nimrod Gently said,
October 17, 2007 at 18:17
Kill it with fire
Cinderella Ferret said,
October 17, 2007 at 18:19
Wow! The Pillsbury Dough Boy in a diaper. Who knew?
Gavin M. said,
October 17, 2007 at 18:19
[whistling inconspicuously]
Indy said,
October 17, 2007 at 18:30
What’s the difference between Mark Hemingway and an adult baby?
One loves the idea of being stuck in helpless, humiliating situations, and the other is a wingnut welfare recipient.
Righteous Bubba said,
October 17, 2007 at 18:30
[whistling inconspicuously]
Oh I see. You’re planning to one-up the almighty Brad’s effort. Well get cracking, sub-Brad.
Marita said,
October 17, 2007 at 18:33
Oh I see. You’re planning to one-up the almighty Brad’s effort. Well get cracking, sub-Brad.
Oh, you mortal fools, thinking that there’s much photoshoppin’ round these parts that isn’t done by Gavin.
JK47 said,
October 17, 2007 at 18:36
GOP 2008: FUCK THE POOR!
Let’s see how that works out for them.
Gavin M. said,
October 17, 2007 at 18:49
Righteous Bubba said,
October 17, 2007 at 18:49
Oh, you mortal fools, thinking that there’s much photoshoppin’ round these parts that isn’t done by Gavin.
Shush you. I’m wrong enough as it is, let alone when I get called on my faux-wrongness.
J. Smith said,
October 17, 2007 at 18:50
“GOP 2008: FUCK THE POOR!” I don’t know, it seems to have worked pretty well in 1980, 1984, 1988 . . .
The twist this time is that the mantra is “FUCK THE MIDDLE CLASS” and I don’t expect that to go down as well.
Rufus said,
October 17, 2007 at 18:52
When the Middle Class is outlawed, only outlaws will be Middle Class.
mdhatter said,
October 17, 2007 at 18:54
Again, putting the ass back into compassion.
Gavin M. said,
October 17, 2007 at 18:55
But now it has extra funny!
Righteous Bubba said,
October 17, 2007 at 18:58
Gavin M. said,
October 17, 2007 at 18:49
I must admit that this is one funny-unit better than the awesomely Bradical Brad’s photoshop which Brad was responsible for above. You, sir, are standing on the shoulders of a giant.
J— said,
October 17, 2007 at 18:59
Well, Marita, Doctor of Smarty-Pantsery, prove Brad didn’t produce the first image.
Righteous Bubba said,
October 17, 2007 at 19:01
I believe that THIS LINK proves Brad’s authorship.
Clutch414 said,
October 17, 2007 at 19:05
OT: But I know there are quite a few Sox fans here.
How about that Dustin Pedroia and his slap attempt last night?
Very A-Rodian.
Marita said,
October 17, 2007 at 19:05
Hmmm… of course there’s always this:
So, you two contrarians. Is it noted that Brad did the photoshop?
Harumph.
Lesley said,
October 17, 2007 at 19:07
Baby Huey, ressurected!
owlbear1 said,
October 17, 2007 at 19:16
I don’t know, but it looks like Baby Hemmi is hiding a fifth in his right hand.
Gavin M. said,
October 17, 2007 at 19:18
No watch, I’ll totally do it again. Wait…
See? Where was your favorite person Brad just now? Sticking Mark Hemingway’s head on fat guys’ bodies with eerie continuity in shoulder curvature, by any chance? Or might he be off eating lunch without a care in the world, little expecting what’s going on here until he shows up again like three hours from now, unless he has tickets to the Sox game.
Righteous Bubba said,
October 17, 2007 at 19:20
Hmmm… of course there’s always this:
Yes yes, and your thesis was about getting kids out of Jell-O trees.
zsa said,
October 17, 2007 at 19:22
Shouldn’t there be something on the ground in that last picture?
J— said,
October 17, 2007 at 19:22
Is it noted that Brad did the photoshop?
No, but nor is it noted that Brad did not originally do this graphic for something other than this post, nor does the About page note that Gavin sneaks into other people’s stuff to post graphics.
Jon H said,
October 17, 2007 at 19:23
Gah! Baby flesh golem!
Righteous Bubba said,
October 17, 2007 at 19:28
See? Where was your favorite person Brad just now?
Up at the top of this post with his name on it, sublimely photoshopping awe-inspiring klassics of komedy while Marita is Gavin you too much kredit. Get it? Huh?
tb said,
October 17, 2007 at 19:28
Hey, I made this atrocity a little prettier at least-
Marita said,
October 17, 2007 at 19:29
Yes yes, and your thesis was about getting kids out of Jell-O trees.
You may scoff now, but wait until your kids are stuck in Jell-O trees. Then you’ll wish you had been nicer to me.
Shouldn’t there be something on the ground in that last picture?
I vote for Cadbury cream egg!
tb said,
October 17, 2007 at 19:29
Shit. Hey, what tag are you guys using to post an image?
Righteous Bubba said,
October 17, 2007 at 19:29
Plus sumo is totally overdone. Look at this loser misplace a head.
Gavin M. said,
October 17, 2007 at 19:32
Oh, it’s a workaround. If I upload a picture to a null post, I can reuse the code and it’ll show up in comments.
If you send me a pic, I’ll put it up.
Gavin M. said,
October 17, 2007 at 19:33
Okay, wait. How’d you get the flesh tone to show through the martini glass?
tb said,
October 17, 2007 at 19:34
Hokay, I’ll need your email address—
Gavin M. said,
October 17, 2007 at 19:35
gavin [at] sadlyno [dot] com
Righteous Bubba said,
October 17, 2007 at 19:38
Okay, wait. How’d you get the flesh tone to show through the martini glass?
I asked Brad.
jim said,
October 17, 2007 at 19:40
That picture! My eyes! MY EYES!!!
Gavin M. said,
October 17, 2007 at 19:43
[Added tb's pic above]
Righteous Bubba said,
October 17, 2007 at 19:44
Hey, I made this atrocity a little prettier at least-
His head kind of glows in a saintly kind of “I pooped” way.
Gavin M. said,
October 17, 2007 at 19:46
Speaking of, Marita suggests:
Legalize said,
October 17, 2007 at 19:48
Hmm, I suspect photoshopping, so you’re a liar, which means that SCHIP families should be smeared even further.
tb said,
October 17, 2007 at 19:55
I, too! Hemingway would never tape his feet like that.
tigrismus said,
October 17, 2007 at 20:00
Great, you and your liberal wars on all holy days, you’ve now completely ruined Easter for me.
Rufus said,
October 17, 2007 at 20:02
Shorter Mark Hemingway: “abortions for some, miniature American flags for others.”
J— said,
October 17, 2007 at 20:04
Correction! Clif did the image, as this post is his.
Righteous Bubba said,
October 17, 2007 at 20:20
[I dunno what I did with the martini glass. I make it up as I go.]
Marita said,
October 17, 2007 at 20:30
[breaks beer bottle on counter, wields giant sammich]
I’ll fight you! I’ll fight you all!
Thorlac said,
October 17, 2007 at 20:31
I thank you all for making my work day move along quicker, what with the levity and the silliness and the flaven. Tomorrow, I will curse you all for the vivid nightmares I endured involving the portly and un-sammiched Hemingbaby.
Gavin M. said,
October 17, 2007 at 20:32
Pvt. Joker said,
October 17, 2007 at 20:38
Everybody’s talking at me
I don’t hear a word they’re saying
Only giant sammich in my mind…
FlipYrWhig said,
October 17, 2007 at 20:53
Thanks, Easter Bunny! Bawk-bawk!
zsa said,
October 17, 2007 at 20:54
Yeah, the Cadbury eggs are just totally ruined for me now.
When I asked to see something on the floor, I was kind of thinking “Jonah”.
A Gibb said,
October 17, 2007 at 21:00
I started a sammich
That started the whole world starving
Only I couldn’t see
Hemingway ate it on me…
Smiling Mortician said,
October 17, 2007 at 21:24
OK, Bubba. This:
I asked Brad.
combined with this:
His head kind of glows in a saintly kind of “I pooped” way.
caused involuntary snortage right in the middle of my class taking a quiz. I believe you owe my students an apology. (Technology in the classroom is totally the way to go.)
Clif said,
October 17, 2007 at 21:26
Mark Hemingway caught on a playground looking for more children to smear:
Clif said,
October 17, 2007 at 21:26
Ignore that comment, I was trying to post an image and it didn’t work. :-(
Maybe Gavin can post it in the comments for me.
Gavin adds: Woot!
Snowwy said,
October 17, 2007 at 21:49
Clif is full of win.
kingubu said,
October 17, 2007 at 22:06
Evidently, the movable feast couldn’t move fast enough…
Wait, did I just make a fat joke? Fuck! Now I’ll have to lecture myself about walking around the mall dressed in a me suit.
Dain Brammaged said,
October 17, 2007 at 22:10
Gavin, please quone him a sammich. He looks hungry.
SamFromUtah said,
October 17, 2007 at 22:13
Hoo boy - that sumo picture with the Cadbury egg about made me vomit for laughing.
I might have vomited even if it weren’t funny, but the laughing pushed me even closer.
Another triumph.
Duros62 said,
October 17, 2007 at 22:13
Yeah, the Cadbury eggs are just totally ruined for me now.
When I asked to see something on the floor, I was kind of thinking “Jonah”.
Well, that’ll teach ya to be a little more specific, woncha?
tigrismus said,
October 17, 2007 at 22:14
Now I’ll have to lecture myself about walking around the mall dressed in a me suit.
No kidding. When I tried walking around the mall dressed like this, you just can’t imagine how I was treated. Well, YOU probably can, but nobody else.
MzNicky said,
October 17, 2007 at 22:17
[scans through thread]
Oh good Lord. You people just have no shame, have you? Well, have you? I hope not.
Gavin M. said,
October 17, 2007 at 22:32
From Duros62 (via email):
Gavin M. said,
October 17, 2007 at 22:41
Duros62 said,
October 17, 2007 at 22:44
Damn, this is fun.
What were we talking about again?
FlipYrWhig said,
October 17, 2007 at 22:45
What does it say on the T-shirt in the original pic?
J— said,
October 17, 2007 at 22:45
Audio.
Audio Two.
Here at the Sadly, No!, nothing but top billing for Mr. Hemingway.
J— said,
October 17, 2007 at 22:47
What does it say on the T-shirt in the original pic?
Body by Brad.
Righteous Bubba said,
October 17, 2007 at 22:48
What were we talking about again?
The impropriety of something or other.
Hey, where’s Little Lotta?
mikey said,
October 17, 2007 at 22:58
Inter-Meta. A thread about a post by the posters posting photoshopped images of the topic by the commenter and discussing the relative capabilities of the posters posts and images, modifying the commenters images and posting on the posting of the posters followed by commenting on the comments of the commenters…
Now with thirty percent more images…
mikey
J— said,
October 17, 2007 at 23:08
Hemingway’s still at it at The Corner.
Pvt. Joker said,
October 17, 2007 at 23:37
Hemingway’s still at it at The Corner.
I love that Hemingway’s new post is some guy saying how he stayed in the Army to retain the great benefits. Hey Colonel Noclue, guess who paid for all those benefits (plus your salary).
Duros62 said,
October 17, 2007 at 23:41
A thread about a post by the posters posting photoshopped images of the topic by the commenter and discussing the relative capabilities of the posters posts and images, modifying the commenters images and posting on the posting of the posters followed by commenting on the comments of the commenters…
Duros62 said,
October 17, 2007 at 23:42
I mean fuck yeah!
coolcajun said,
October 17, 2007 at 23:49
My favorite paragraph from the original article:
On the conference call, Dara admitted to me that she and Brian had been talking about having children since before they were married. She further admitted that after they were married she voluntarily left a job at a country club that had good health insurance, because the situation was “unmanageable.” From there she took a job at a restaurant with no health insurance, and the couple went on to have a baby anyway, presuming that others would pay for it and certainly long before they knew their daughter would have a heart defect that probably cost the gross national product of Burkina Faso to fix. But not knowing about future health problems is the reason we have insurance in the first place.
I wonder if he recorded the conversation he had. If so, I would like to hear it just to get a read on the unmanageable situation.
What is Mr. Hemingway’s beef anyway? Surely he has been in unmanageable situations before(maybe not at work). If he hasn’t may I suggest him working for a week at MSNBC, CNN or *shudder*BBC News *shudder*. It will probably only be a day before he decided that there are indeed unmanageable situations that he even he can understand.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
October 17, 2007 at 23:55
Well you got me to laugh inappropriately here in cubicle heaven or hell.
Hanx alot!
Doctorb Science said,
October 18, 2007 at 0:42
S-CHIP kids: betcha can’t smear just one!
Doctorb Science said,
October 18, 2007 at 0:57
I just figured it out: Karl Rove is behind it. The circumstances behind his resignation were never fully revealed, but he’s got revenge on his mind — revenge against the entire Right Wing Noise Machine. So he’s been using subliminable messages to get the more unhinged bloggers, Senators, and shouting heads to do stupid things, like smear a 12-year-old, or smear a 2-year-old.
Rufus said,
October 18, 2007 at 1:10
Mark Hemingway, otherwise known as The Louse at The Poo Corner.
He’d make a jolly Winnie the Pooh, wouldn’t he? He’d probably try to get Eeyore to admit that losing his house was entirely his own fault, as he built it right by the flood-prone creek, and if only Eeyore had had the foresight to build in a more stable location, Winnie and Piglet wouldn’t have to spend valuable time finding a new home for Eeyore, the welfare queen donkey, who feels no need to take personal responsibility, knowing that the other folks in the Hundred-acre Wood can be counted on to carry his lazy ass.
Markie the Poo would be loved by children the world over, I’m just sure of it.
Herr Doktor Bimler said,
October 18, 2007 at 1:20
Christopher Robin and Pooh could escape by Climbing Trees, and Kanga could escape by Jumping, and Rabbit could escape by Burrowing, and Owl could escape by Flying, and Eeyore could escape by — by Making a Loud Noise Until Rescued, and here am I, surrounded by water and I can’t do anything.
By gum, Rufus is right. It’s a withering indictment of dependency and irresponsibility. The world awaits the conservative exegesis of Pooh.
wordyeti said,
October 18, 2007 at 3:16
This is all so wrong. I am supposed to be making a very tasty bracciole & marinara sauce, and I’m just scrolling through these pics and laughing uncontrollably. I can’t wait until the “have pity on the portly” crowd find out about this and bring out the pitchforks&torches. Which, by the way, are useful to toast marshmallows with.
Mmmmm… s’mores …
mikey said,
October 18, 2007 at 3:55
Word, word.
I’m gonna make red beans and rice, with ham and fresh green pepper tortillas. It’s gonna be hot and yummy and I’m looking forward to it now more than I was…
mikey
SamFromUtah said,
October 18, 2007 at 4:12
His head kind of glows in a saintly kind of “I pooped” way.
I’m going to crack up about this all week.
ignobility said,
October 18, 2007 at 4:30
I love the cat, again with the perfect shoulder alignment.
Righteous Bubba said,
October 18, 2007 at 5:21
Oh editing fairies…
Gavin M. said,
October 18, 2007 at 16:53
[stealthily grabbing image]
SamFromUtah said,
October 19, 2007 at 6:54
I was right - I’m still laughing about the “I pooped!” thing.
Duros62 said,
October 19, 2007 at 20:38
Nice, bubba, nice.