Comments on: I, Swankius

By: Sadly, No! » Baking Carrot Biscuits*

Sadly, No! » Baking Carrot Biscuits* — Mon, 11 Feb 2008 22:49:09 +0000

[...] graphics like these, I also do the ordinary, technical kind; and my c.v. as a writer and editor is actually a lot more [...]

By: Sadly, No! » Happy Swanksgiving!

Sadly, No! » Happy Swanksgiving! — Fri, 23 Nov 2007 04:48:35 +0000

[...] wait, hang on. Aside from having it in for many common denominations of Christianity, doesn’t he believe that Mormons are literally communing with Satan? So much for the [...]

By: Suspect Device: The Blog » Sentences I’m glad I didn’t write

Suspect Device: The Blog » Sentences I’m glad I didn’t write — Tue, 16 Oct 2007 14:55:47 +0000

[...] Grant Swank, quoted atSadly, No: All the while theological liberals enhance the fall of America with their defense of immoral [...]

By: Pvt. Joker

Pvt. Joker — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 19:20:45 +0000

The Blacker the Barry, the sweeter the Jews.

By: Jenny

Jenny — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 19:04:41 +0000

Chaplain Barry C. Black
http://www.senate.gov/reference/common/person/barry_black.htm
Pastor Berry Black is a man of distinction and brilliance. He works with all faiths. Black also is a patriot who has served his country.

By: Bizarro World

Bizarro World — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 17:01:50 +0000

Me like Swank column. Write good he.

By: cjenk415

cjenk415 — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 16:06:51 +0000

But ‘active homosexual relations’ sort of privileges the pitcher over the catcher, if you know what I’m saying.

yeah, I know what your sayin. if only there were more pitchers than catchers………

By: Marq

Marq — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 09:21:17 +0000

Swank is becoming less and less intelligible as time goes by. His prose reminds me of the writings of someone who is having his brain turned to swiss cheese by mad-cow disease, and is hitting those final stages of madness and dementia. Or was it rabies that does that (not the swiss cheese–that’s definitely a prion thing)? Someone give him a bottle of Night Train and some second-hand clothes, ‘cos it’s Next Stop Skid Row for da Swanksta! Or, perhaps, wood alcohol.

By: Herr Doktor Bimler

Herr Doktor Bimler — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 08:40:14 +0000

I believe that Pastor Swank deserves mad props for correctly distinguishing ‘former’ from ‘latter’.
That is all.

By: ignobility

ignobility — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 06:25:44 +0000

I loves me some Swank. Now, I’ve got some homosexual lifestyles divinely to bless and some womb babies to kill, so if y’all will excuse me….

By: Jelly

Jelly — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 02:14:32 +0000

As a graduate of Bard I resent the comparison to the way-out kids from Vassar.

Our functional drug addicts are way more entitled.

I mean, those 20 miles up Rt. 9 are decisive.

By: Some Guy

Some Guy — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 02:09:06 +0000

See, interestingly enough, I’ve read accounts that part of the reason Rome collapses is that the spread of Christianity basically rotted out the Parthenon and cause such a radical change in the mentality of the people that the system simple fell in on itself.

Me? I think it had a lot more to do with the lead pipes they drank from, combined with an overzealous expansion policy.

“That would mean replacing God with man-made religion,”
He’s worried about Scientology?

You know, Swank would save a lot of time if he just wrote, “Kill the unbelievers.” and called it a day.

By: joeyess

joeyess — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 01:32:27 +0000

See?

By: joeyess

joeyess — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 01:31:59 +0000

and it seems that it’s contagious. I had a hard time that writing.

By: joeyess

joeyess — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 01:30:59 +0000

I don’t know how you parse this nonsense. It gives me a headache merely reading it.

His writing (and I use that word loosely) sounds vaguely like those poorly translated Olympic crowd control signs in China.

By: Qetesh the Abyssinian

Qetesh the Abyssinian — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 01:07:11 +0000

Would that evangelicals could resurrect the Black warnings to ward off liberals within the United Methodist Church, United Presbyterian Church (USA), American Baptist Convention, and Evangelical Lutheran Church of America.

Initially, I read this as “Would that evangelicals could resurrect the Black Plague to ward off liberals”. I thought we wuz all gunna die with hideous buboes all over us’n. Oh, that’s right, I’m not in a church. Phew. Saved by the (church) bell.

By: Qetesh the Abyssinian

Qetesh the Abyssinian — Fri, 12 Oct 2007 00:57:01 +0000

“U.S. Senate Chaplain Barry Black says the United States, like past great civilizations such as the Roman Empire, could collapse due to a decline in family values, a decline in religion, a preoccupation with pleasure and overspending on militarism,” per AP.

I thought the collapse of the Roman Empire was more a result of (a) lead pipes carrying the drinking water, and (b) ferocious inbreeding of the upper classes. So any families living in Rome for generations (eg the aristocracy) were half-crazed with lead poisoning and the stagnant remains of a very small gene pool to boot. No wonder Caligula made his horse a senator: was probably the most articulate creature there.

By: piotr

piotr — Thu, 11 Oct 2007 22:43:49 +0000

“Yet both endorse slaying the unborn and active homosexual relations.”

This is correct, and quite damming. When the Lord of Scripture commandeth “Slay them all”, he means “all”, not “slay then men, rape the women and enslave the children”, or “spare some cattle as you can use several more cows”. And nothing irks the Lord of the Scripture like lame excuses “Idid not slay her, because while she was my relation, and homosexual, and active, she was very much already born”. or “that unborn relation of my was not homosexual”.

About the fall of Rome: Rome survived more than 1000 years, so the record was not that bad. GOP was supposed to reign much longer, but after several years they look rather worse for the wear. Nothing lasts forever, but as empires go, Rome was not that bad. Until they started to take Saturn out of Saturnalia….

By: David E.

David E. — Thu, 11 Oct 2007 22:01:01 +0000

Hey! I went to Vassar. I resemble that remark.

By: Lesly

Lesly — Thu, 11 Oct 2007 20:26:41 +0000

I bet this guy reads as well as he rights.

Oops, writes.