Oct
9

OMG EXPLOITING KIDS IN POLITICS!!!!11!




Posted at 16:55 by Brad

ON NOES!!! LOOKY HERE!!!!!! IT’S A PRO-ABSTINENCE AD FEATURING…

(DRUM ROLL)

KIDS!!!!

OK, all you Citizen Journalists out there! The fact that these kids let themselves be used by the government to spread a pro-abstinence message means they’re fair game!!! It’s time to ask questions and subject their political anecdotes to scrutiny. Start by hanging around their schools and asking their peers if they’re real virgins or pretend virgins!!! Then you can fact-check their claims- is sex all over the Internet? Is it just another MSM lie, like the idea that anyone has ever died in that magical desert paradise we call Iraq??? THIS IS YOUR CHANCE TO STOP THE EXPLOITATION OF CHILDREN FOR POLITICAL PURPOSES!!!!*

*Actually, you shouldn’t do any of that stuff because it’s creepy and wrong. Much like Michelle Malkin.

(Video via Yglesias)

Gavin adds:

37 Comments »

  1. Cangrejero said,

    October 9, 2007 at 17:04

    I drove by this kid’s house. No sign of a Fiend Folio. Virginity status is still in question… developing…

  2. MCH said,

    October 9, 2007 at 17:04

    In Providence, there are billboards, featuring an enormous, moon-faced baby face, that advertise an anti-abortion stance.

    Open season on moon-faced baby wingnuts!!! Storm the maternity wards!!! Snatch their pacifiers and kick the little traitors!!! They’re too cute to not be up to something.

  3. norbizness said,

    October 9, 2007 at 17:08

    No way. Those are all Estonian midgets trying to get their citizenship.

    We should deport those unclean Estonian midgets.

  4. JoshWatermanMN said,

    October 9, 2007 at 17:14

    mCH, I see these things in all over Minneapolis. They never show what the unborn really look like, in their bulbous-headed, reptillian-tailed glory, because globs of barely differeniated organic matter don’t look so cute in onesies and knit caps.

  5. tigrismus said,

    October 9, 2007 at 17:14

    Hymen checks begin now.

  6. Sadly, Cambridgeport said,

    October 9, 2007 at 17:17

    I’ve seen guesstimates in the 6-inch-plus range. Those are high.

  7. owlbear1 said,

    October 9, 2007 at 17:19

    As if on cue a Distraction appears.

  8. Legalize said,

    October 9, 2007 at 17:26

    BREAKING: possible codom found on the street less than a block from the residence of purported virgin.

    UPDATE: turns out possible condom was actually a discarded soda can. If any of our readers are actually familiar with condoms and their use, such expert analysis would be extremely valuable.

    UPDATE 2: To our operatives in the field, Confederate Yankee says that he saw a condom on a commercial once, and believes that they look similar to balloons. We’ll keep you up to the minute on this important discovery, as information comes in.

  9. mikey said,

    October 9, 2007 at 17:48

    Confederate Yankee is trying to get Ace of Spades to go in the drug store and buy some condoms – purely for research.

    Ace of Spades has issued this statement:

    “Huh, huh, huh, no way, dillweed. You do it….”

    mikey

  10. Left_Wing_Fox said,

    October 9, 2007 at 17:56

    Update 3: Eyewitness reports, based on Confexderate Yankee’s description of these “Condoms” reveals that a MASSIVE ORGY must have taken place on Grahme Frosts’s 11th Birthday! Multi-colored “condom” fragments were found strewn across the yard.

    Update 4: Some liberals have accused me of not knowing the difference between a balloon and a condom, and accused me of having a twisted and perveted mind. I link to Confederate Yankee’s description ONCE AGAIN as proof for those moonbats, and let me noble intelligent readers decide whether there was a MASSIVE CHILD ORGY!!!!1!

  11. Marco said,

    October 9, 2007 at 17:58

    I saw a license plate outside the kid’s house that read “Hard 4 U.”

    Developing….

  12. JK47 said,

    October 9, 2007 at 18:10

    This S-CHIP thing is gold for the Dems. First, Bush looked like a total asshole by vetoing it, and now greater wingnuttia is reduced to attacking 12-year olds to try and save face. This does not look good for them… They look like the ghouls they are.

    They’re really out of control and all of their little games are so tired at this point.

  13. BushYouth said,

    October 9, 2007 at 18:15

    I checked a couple of those kids out. They were rolling in the freshly fallen Autumn leaves and fucking like bunnies. One was wearing a Catholic school girl uniform.

  14. Hat said,

    October 9, 2007 at 18:16

    Is it wrong that all the way through that Santorum ad I was waiting for the stillborn kid to give his opinion?

    That’s a rhetorical question, of course.

  15. Clean* Celibate** Non-Hippy said,

    October 9, 2007 at 18:32

    Haw Haw. You moonbats are so stupid no one plays with the Fiend Folio anymore dumwad. I can proudly say I was a first-adopter of the d20 system and yes I am too proudly a true virgin. And the year of the Githyanki was ’03 duma**. You probably wouldn’t even know what to do if Vlaakith CLVII (the 157th for you leftards that don’t study great civilizations anymore and think that multicultism isn’t destorying society) their undead queen came and chopped off your connection to the ethereal plane, just like you wouldn’t know what to do if the army wasn’t protecting your but from AL-QUEIADA by fighting the real fight and keeping the terrorissts off you.

    *Mom keeps a moist rag by my computer so to keep the orange dust off the keyboard.

    **I learned celibacy from good commercials like this and not ones that try to destroy our Anglo-Celtic civilization by promoting sex and lax behavior by putting communized medicine on the table to create class warfare.

  16. Jeff Fecke said,

    October 9, 2007 at 18:42

    WHY has the MSM FAILED TO PICK UP on the CITIZEN ALLEGATIONS OF A MASSIVE CHILD ORGY?

    Ace of Spades has more.

  17. t4toby said,

    October 9, 2007 at 18:45

    Where can we find a gay, handicapped, Islamic brown kid to be our poster child?

    ‘Cause that’d really show ‘em.

  18. Jamey said,

    October 9, 2007 at 18:52

    Why didn’t Santorum feature in that ad the still-born fetus that he kept around?

    http://digg.com/tech_news/PA_Senator_Rick_Santorum_Brought_Home_Dead_Baby

  19. Rufus said,

    October 9, 2007 at 19:22

    I’m amazed that the Right keeps bringing out these phony children to advance their anti-American agenda.

  20. Legalize said,

    October 9, 2007 at 19:41

    Never one to be out ass-holed by anyone, Dan Riehl chimes in :http://www.riehlworldview.com/carnivorous_conservative/2007/10/alright-thats-e.html

    //This story is about the parents, Bonnie and F. Halsey Frost who grew up with all the advantages and, despite what I might assume is a liberal view on abortion, not only most likely support that free choice; if someone wants to have kids, they apparently believe it’s cool to play with wood, or hold low-paying, fun, or perhaps lower stress jobs without having to worry about providing for whatever number of moppets one might feel like dropping into the world. I guess it’s, let someone else pay for it, in their world view. I’m thinking F H learned that and little else from his Daddy.

    Do they have any idea of the number of people who stay in less than great jobs precisely so their kids can have excellent benefits? It’s called sacrifice, something Bonnie and F don’t seem to think is their job. Nah, let’s leave that to American taxpayers, many of whom don’t even make as much as they do and certainly don’t have the long line of private schools in their past.//

  21. Marco said,

    October 9, 2007 at 20:05

    Like we’re to believe those are real kids? Hello, I saw Lord of the Rings. Shave a Hobbit’s feet and you have insta-promotional kids.

  22. Galactic Dustbin said,

    October 9, 2007 at 20:43

    Dan Riehl? I thought he died of paste posioning years ago!

  23. g said,

    October 9, 2007 at 20:45

    Do they have any idea of the number of people who stay in less than great jobs precisely so their kids can have excellent benefits? It’s called sacrifice, something Bonnie and F don’t seem to think is their job.

    Yeah, those lucky ducks Bonnie and F. Struggling to establish a small business? Going without so they can meet a payroll? Renovating an old house in a changing part of town so they can build on their investment? How selfish!

    Think of the sacrifices others have to make, holding down a lousy $300,000/year CEO appointment!

    Wait, you’re telling me that Dan Riehl piece is NOT satire?

    The right has finally imploded. These people are all about envy and hate. They can turn anyone on their side into a victim, and will smear even those who totally embody the virtues they hold dear, if they happen to support the “other side”>

  24. Chuckles said,

    October 9, 2007 at 20:55

    Easiest way to establish virginity on the FF/DD scale:
    Does the individual in question own a copy of the Fiend Folio?
    Does the individual in question own more than one edition of the Fiend Folio?
    Does the individual in question make flumph jokes?

  25. Gavin M. said,

    October 9, 2007 at 21:09

    Um, dude, I had the Fiend Folio with the Lovecraft stuff in it, before they pulled it for copyright reasons.

    God, I wish I still had that.

  26. Righteous Bubba said,

    October 9, 2007 at 21:15

    Um, dude, I had the Fiend Folio with the Lovecraft stuff in it, before they pulled it for copyright reasons.

    Don’t you mean this?

    Why did I post that? Nobody look. Please.

  27. Gavin M. said,

    October 9, 2007 at 21:24

    Don’t you mean this?

    Yes! Yes! OMG!!1

    Um, I guess I’d better pull the trigger now. Goodbye all!

  28. Righteous Bubba said,

    October 9, 2007 at 21:34

    Goodbye all!

    Today we gather to mourn Gavin, fallen geek. To begin our service, please turn to page 50 and commence masturbating to Bast’s boobs.

  29. Fats Durston said,

    October 9, 2007 at 21:38

    I can’t believe those idiots at TSR thought Cthulu had fewer hp than Odin. Sheesh.

  30. Legalize said,

    October 9, 2007 at 21:46

    “They can turn anyone on their side into a victim, and will smear even those who totally embody the virtues they hold dear, if they happen to support the “other side”>

    Or if a vehicle parked on the same street purports to illustrate that the owner of said vehicle “is on the other side.” That’s close enough.

  31. Legalize said,

    October 9, 2007 at 21:49

    p.s. and I’m never sure if Riehl is satire or not, but I’m pretty sure the knuckle-draggers who post there are dead serious about their own stupidity and lack of humanity.

  32. atheist said,

    October 9, 2007 at 22:41

    Don’t you mean this?

    Why did I post that? Nobody look. Please.

    Those illustrations by Erol Otus were the best. So trippy.

  33. Left_Wing_Fox said,

    October 9, 2007 at 23:00

    To begin our service, please turn to page 50 and commence masturbating to Bast’s boobs.

    Um… the pages seem to be sticking together.

    Also; coffee in sinuses. Fuck You.

  34. mikey said,

    October 10, 2007 at 0:30

    I once had a “Blue Harvest” tee shirt.

    Gave it to my girlfriend.

    I can’t even guess what that would be worth today…

    mikey

  35. InsaneInTheCheneyBrain said,

    October 10, 2007 at 0:52

    >They’re really out of control and all of their little games are so tired at this point.

    Sounds like we’re exactly where we were in 2004, then.

  36. GotDaFeevah said,

    October 10, 2007 at 10:15

    Dear Lord! How many kids does Rick Santorum have?!

  37. links for 2007-10-10 « Dark Corner of the Empty Head said,

    October 10, 2007 at 10:24

    [...] Sadly, No! » OMG EXPLOITING KIDS IN POLITICS!!!!11! ON NOES!!! LOOKY HERE!!!!!! IT’S A PRO-ABSTINENCE AD FEATURING… [...]

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