19
But The Rain Didn’t Dampen His Spirits
Confederate Yankee bounces back from the recent tragedy* by furiously searching the Internet for dirt on Pvt. Scott Beauchamp:
According to his web page, Scott Thomas Beauchamp and his wife, The New Republic fact checker Elspeth Reeve, are apparently expecting a child.
The TNR fabulist/Army private has the following posted on his MySpace page:
“”SCOTT BEAUCHAMP CLAIMS TO DESIRE THE BABIES OF ELSPETH, HIS SUPPOSED WIFE!”"
He includes as his interests “raptors having babies.” His wife, TNR fact-checker Elspeth Reeve uses a raptor (a kind of dinosaur) as the avatar for her MySpace page.
Beauchamp first came to light when a story he wrote entitled “Shock Troops,” alleging the barbarity of his fellow soldiers, was challenged on July 18 by The Weekly Standard’s Michael Goldfarb.
Since that time, the U.S Army has denounced the claims made in “Shock Troops” as fiction, and Franklin Foer, the editor of The New Republic, has failed to release the findings of the magazine’s internal investigation into the veracity of the stories.
Bob, maybe we can make a deal here. Stay away from the pregnant lady and somebody might get a…
Above:
* See here for other cities and landmarks that are scientifically proven to be stupid, and that should be allowed to fall into the ocean.
t4toby said,
September 19, 2007 at 1:24
How dare that Scott Beauchamp guy have an inside joke with his wife. Traitor!
Snowwy said,
September 19, 2007 at 1:24
Boy, his support for the troops knows no bounds. Soon it will grow to the point where he meets them at the airport to shoot them for treason.
Drew Johnston said,
September 19, 2007 at 1:25
What, is CY stalking the guy now? Damn, dude, all he did was write a story. It’s not like he knocked over your grill or anything.
caliph garrett said,
September 19, 2007 at 1:32
Beauchamp better think about a TRO after what TIDOSY did to that grill.
The one the alleged “hurricane” allegedly blew into the neighbor’s yard.
TRex said,
September 19, 2007 at 1:32
Why does CY find it an outrage that Beauchamp and his wife are expecting a baby? Is he just freaking out because this is evidence that Beauchamp has gotten laid in the last six months whereas Mr. Yankee’s wife makes him sleep on the rec room sofa?
Or what?
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
September 19, 2007 at 1:35
I’d bet even the sofa is off limits until that grill gets replaced.
mikey said,
September 19, 2007 at 1:36
Y’know, Gavin, it’s kind of one-sided that the blink tag doesn’t work in comments…
Just sayin…
M
Galactic Dustbin said,
September 19, 2007 at 1:50
Snif- God Bless you, Treasonous Loser Buy World Series! Such bravery and dedication to bounce back from such horrible devistation to research and write a hit piece on someone announcing that they are expecting.
J— said,
September 19, 2007 at 1:53
Y’know, Gavin, it’s kind of one-sided that the blink tag doesn’t work in comments…
I want my video embed!
Legalize said,
September 19, 2007 at 1:55
Boy, CY’s recovery from the alleged “hurricane,” that allegedly injured his alleged “grill” to the extent that the alleged “hurricane” allegedly tossed his alleged “grill” into his alleged “neighbor’s” alleged “yard,” is nothing short of totally heterosexually awe inspiring!
Sadly, Cambridgeport said,
September 19, 2007 at 1:58
Boy that first commenter is the next Michelle Malkin
and then actually quotes said article in full.
There you have it ladies and gents:
A) Two veiled hints on a myspace page indicate that Scott Beauchamp *GASP* wants his wife to have a baby
+
B) This daring reporter is personally convinced that he COULD NOT POSSIBLY HAVE HAD TIME TO IMPREGNATE HIS WIFE HIMSELF!!!
[[[BREAKING!!!]]] Substantial use of military jargon confirms that this information is accurate. Anyone with that kind of insider knowledge probably knows the intimate details of every relationship in the armed forces.
+
???
= SCIENTIFIC PROOF that Scott Beauchamp is not only a liar and a traitor and a fan of Noam Chomsky, but his wife is a filthy slut who is carrying a bastard child. Or, as he puts it, she is a “knocked-up bim”
Great work detective! If any of those shoddy liberal news rags wanted a real reporter, they would hire you on the spot.
J— said,
September 19, 2007 at 2:00
In the post just previous to “Fabulist, Junior?,” Confederate Yankee throws down the gauntlet:
If Foer refuses it will fall to him to pick weapons, of course, but Confederate Yankee is really hoping for barbecue tongs.
Galactic Dustbin said,
September 19, 2007 at 2:12
Substantial use of military jargon confirms that this information is accurate. Anyone with that kind of insider knowledge probably knows the intimate details of every relationship in the armed forces.
OR they heard it mentioned once on a rerun of JAG and now find a way to work it into EVERY conversation.
g said,
September 19, 2007 at 2:17
to knock up his bim
Nice talk.
Principal Blackman said,
September 19, 2007 at 2:32
Seeing as how Beauchamp is a filthy commie hippie America-hating leftist wacko, shouldn’t he be psyched for his wife to have an abortion? I mean, abortion is supposed to be a holy sacrament among the Beauchamps of the world, at least according to the wingnuts, so why would he be excited for her to, you know, give birth?
Something’s not adding up, here. Quick, somebody bust out the Kerningometer!
Legalize said,
September 19, 2007 at 2:33
“OR they heard it mentioned once on a rerun of JAG and now find a way to work it into EVERY conversation.”
That show is AWSOME. Not only can one watch a few episodes and become an expert on military matters, but one can pick up all the requisite knowledge to credibly opine on any number of LEGAL matters!
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
September 19, 2007 at 2:36
Alberto Gonzales must have watched a lot of JAG reruns.
Scorpio said,
September 19, 2007 at 2:42
Sorry to tell you this, but hawks are raptors. Raptors are birds that hunt little animals and other birds — “birds of prey”, in other words.
Just because Jurassic Park had dinosaurs called “velociraptors” is no reason to assume that raptors are dinosaurs.
Sadly, Cambridgeport said,
September 19, 2007 at 2:46
Sooo…. Scott Beauchamp is just a fictional character made up by the media to make conservative bloggers look bad?
Legalize said,
September 19, 2007 at 2:51
Off topic:
I just watched BillO and stuffed-moron Dennis Miller barking gleefully about that kid who got tazered at the Kerry event this week, because the “misguided” kid was being a “pain in the ass.” How is it that two oafish buffoons who make their livings (such as they are) under the umbrella of the cherished notion that “misguided” “pains in the ass” DON’T get physically attacked for expressing their view points in a public forum, can sit and vomit up so happily at the notion of the same thing happening to someone else.
And of course, it was all John Kerry’s fault for not leaping off the stage and preventing the whole thing.
Dumbasses.
Pere Ubu said,
September 19, 2007 at 2:55
I just watched BillO and stuffed-moron Dennis Miller barking gleefully about that kid who got tazered at the Kerry event this week, because the “misguided” kid was being a “pain in the ass.”
What, they weren’t using it as some kind of whacked-out “evidence” of the left’s insanity in wanting to establish a Communist police state and taser people randomly, probably for not eating tofu or wearing burqas or some shit?
Molly said,
September 19, 2007 at 2:57
Okay, I know it’s Gomer we’re talking about, but you know that link that he uses to say Scott’s stories were “complete uncorroborated”? That he is now not linking to when he says the Army denounced the claims as fiction?
Here’s what the Army said: “In the course of my investigation, I did not interview anyone who corroborated PVT Beauchamp’s claims in “Shock Troops” that a Soldier was observed wearing skull parts recovered from a “Saddam-era dumping ground” on his head, dogs were being deliberately hit by Bradley Fighting Vehicles, and that a disfigured woman was openly mocked by Soldiers in the FOB Falcon dining facility.”
Mighty specific denial of corroboration.
Pere Ubu said,
September 19, 2007 at 2:59
Sooo…. Scott Beauchamp is just a fictional character made up by the media to make conservative bloggers look bad?
Personally, since CY is the one to make the “raptors” comment, I’d assert that it was instead CY who was, in fact, the fictional character made up by somebody-or-other to make humanity look bad. Probably anoles or some other type of small lizard.
Kathleen said,
September 19, 2007 at 3:26
“”SCOTT BEAUCHAMP CLAIMS TO DESIRE THE BABIES OF ELSPETH, HIS SUPPOSED WIFE!””
this is actually very funny. I give SB props for a nice sense of humor.
CY’s feelings might’ve been a little stung.
El Cid said,
September 19, 2007 at 3:28
Just a prediction.
Had John Kerry attempted to interfere in any way with that kid’s arrest in any strong way, every right wing nutjob within 10 minutes would have gotten the beeper notification to start barking about how longface French fake Vietnam vet Purple-Heart undeserving windsurfing Viet Cong lovin’ faggot John Goddamned Kerry got in the way of POLICE trying to carry out LAW ENFORCEMENT!!! and who the hell does John Goddamn Traitor Coward Kerry think the hell he goddamn is?
Leonard Pierce said,
September 19, 2007 at 3:39
No doubt, El Cid. Since he DIDN’T do anything, he’s an effeminate pussy incapable of showing ‘leadership’; if he DID do something, he’d have been an unhinged crazy a la Howard Dean trying to protect a fellow conspiratorial lefty from a well-deserved beating at the hands of John Law. Much like Clinton, in the eyes of the right, literally any action John Kerry takes or does not take simply proves how awful he is. The only thing he could possibly do that would be acceptable would be to spontaneously combust, and even then they’d probably bitch him out for abandoning his wife and kiddies.
Kathy said,
September 19, 2007 at 3:56
But I do wish Kerrry had interferred. I imagine he does too.
lobbey said,
September 19, 2007 at 4:11
Is he just freaking out because this is evidence that Beauchamp has gotten laid in the last six months whereas Mr. Yankee’s wife makes him sleep on the rec room sofa?
Please tell me this aint true, CY is married, a real woman, or one of those blow up doll thingies?
Fishbone McGonigle said,
September 19, 2007 at 4:17
University cops are some of the biggest thugs around. I’ve never met a campus cop worthy of any respect at all.
Humor Me said,
September 19, 2007 at 4:27
OT, but that is one nice grill you got pictured up there.. for my money, it ain’t a grill if it’s got some hose and tank. Leave those to the French and New Yorkers. Ash. Starting fluid. That thing looks like you could practically smoke things in it. Those serving wings worry me though. In a cat. 2 or greater microburst, kiss that honey goodbye. Will definitely need ballast. That’s the only good thing I can say about propane tanks, they lower the… wait….hold on, something’s coming across the wire…. from CY HQ…. BULLETIN!
FLASH!!
Duped! ! MSM won’t believe their eyes!! Intimate sources confirm CY theory that Backwater maliciously forced to kill civilians in brash al-Malaki political ploy. Plot my have been in place for months. Blackwater considered an “easy target” for such an attack, given their operational need to indiscriminately fire on civilians.
JUST IN….
early murmurs suggest Blackwater is expected to weather the storm. too vital to State Dept. ops in region..
It’s CY’s network of contacts, and his uncanny ability to see the subtle connections that the untrained non-specialist might miss, that make him an invaluable resource for our country. I can only hope that the right people are reading his blog at night in the basements of Washington and Virginia.
a different brad said,
September 19, 2007 at 4:37
CY is going to end up in court at this rate.
It’ll be interesting when it happens. Some limits to hate blogging could even be useful, and I say that as pretty much a freedom of speech purist.
Rene ala Carte said,
September 19, 2007 at 4:38
Hey, that’s the grill I have. It’s great, especially if you buy the little add on thing that turns it into a smoker.
mikey said,
September 19, 2007 at 4:44
University cops are some of the biggest thugs around. I’ve never met a campus cop worthy of any respect at all.
Now look. I freely admit I started it. At the student center at UT in ‘77, I did confront a campus cop, and when he went a little sideways on me I put him on the ground. Two things I did not expect. First, I did not expect a dozen more campus cops to run in the building with their batons, wacking people. The other thing I did not expect, and I smile to this day remembering it, is a bunch of big Texas kids recognizing an action that was beyond the pale, and beating the campus cops nine ways from silly. Sure, they managed to “restore order”. But they didn’t get to impose their will, because a bunch of kids who loaded hay and picked beans and fixed trucks had the courage and the physical wherewithal to demonstrate what freedom looks like from “the ground”.
I picked up some lumps, but I cherish the memory of that day…
mikey
Notorious P.A.T. said,
September 19, 2007 at 5:27
Wow, nothing says “class” like going after a man’s wife and child!
Herr Doktor Bimler said,
September 19, 2007 at 5:39
Substantial use of military jargon confirms that this information is accurate.
I want proof that the commentator in question has security clearance for that knowledge, at the SEQUOIA SJAMBOK level at the very least.
a different brad said,
September 19, 2007 at 6:07
The thing that struck me about this latest misuse of a potentially deadly weapon by rent a cops who all too often, but by no means always, are locals with a deep seated grudge against them uppity college kids they’re supposed to be protecting is that they probably came real close to shocking themselves in the process.
I don’t know too much about tasering, but if you shock someone you probably don’t want your friend to be pinning them down when you do it. Bare skin on bare skin might prove problematic.
Lesley said,
September 19, 2007 at 6:21
While CYankee is stumbling around the Internet looking for conspiracies and lost barbecues, I hope he trips on this:
Pinko Punko said,
September 19, 2007 at 7:15
Don’t taze me, bro.
I can’t stop saying that.
mikey said,
September 19, 2007 at 7:19
Well, it IS a reasonable sentiment, PP….
mikey
Pinko Punko said,
September 19, 2007 at 7:50
So true.
Anne Laurie said,
September 19, 2007 at 7:50
I don’t know too much about tasering, but if you shock someone you probably don’t want your friend to be pinning them down when you do it. Bare skin on bare skin might prove problematic.
At the large midwestern university where I worked during the 1970s & 1980s, it was widely reported that people joined the “Department of P
ublicarking Safetypaces” only if they failed to meet the hiring standardsfor security guards at the local malls. There was at least one incident when one of the DPS’s finest put his partner in the hospital while attempting to intimidate a dumpster-diving racoon. (Cruel students joked that it must have been a head wound, therefore non-fatal.)Pinko Punko said,
September 19, 2007 at 9:28
DPS, Anne? It only could have been Go Blue U? They gave ‘em guns when I was acquainted with the place- nice!
R. Porrofatto said,
September 19, 2007 at 14:01
if you shock someone you probably don’t want your friend to be pinning them down when you do it.
My favorite Stupid Electricity Trick involves Victoria Gotti. One day her talented and civilized kids brought home one of those electric stimulators that twitch muscles as a form of passive “exercise.” Naturally, she wanted to try it out. So she hooked it up, turned it on and ended up in the Emergency Room. Seems that the twitchy jolts of electricity of the gizmo caused a bit of a conflict with the pacemaker she wears. Oops.
g said,
September 19, 2007 at 15:56
Here’s what the Army said: “In the course of my investigation, I did not interview anyone who corroborated PVT Beauchamp’s claims in “Shock Troops” that a Soldier was observed wearing skull parts recovered from a “Saddam-era dumping ground” on his head, dogs were being deliberately hit by Bradley Fighting Vehicles, and that a disfigured woman was openly mocked by Soldiers in the FOB Falcon dining facility.”
without no pants on.
g said,
September 19, 2007 at 16:10
Er….just to be a bit contrary here, I have to say that at most large state universities the cops are members of the state police force and quite professional. You can talk all you want about rent-a-cops and I don’t know what a private college’s standards are, but the guys at Florida where the kid was tasered were staties.
Now - in most cases, the staties are pretty professional. I’ve worked with state university cops in a couple of situations where protesters were disrupting events, and in my experience they’ve always behaved with professionalism.
Once helped manage a lecture appearance by an Iranian politician, where members of the local Persian community heckled and cat-called from the balcony. Cops calmly and professionally removed the ones that crossed the line from the venue
Another time, a venue where I was managing a concert happened to be next door to a venue where a gubernatorial debate was taking place, and some idiot Right Wing protesters mistakenly thought my concert-goers were attending the debate, and rushed our doors (idiots!) Once again, university cops intervened with great skill & diplomacy.
OTOH, I once worked at a university where recently the cops tasered a kid in the library - so go figure.
I really think when these PDs get tasers, they forget what they learned in crowd-management training.
A good bar bouncer could have gotten that kid out of the Florida auditorium with better skill than a bunch of cops with tasers..
kenga said,
September 19, 2007 at 16:58
g - what you say is true for MA at least.
That said, it doesn’t prevent them from doing the distasteful stuff in the dark of night(OK, 4AM is really early morning) to student protestors.
Long after the news vans have left, wearing no ID(whatsoever) and wielding batons …
Ha Nguyen said,
September 19, 2007 at 21:19
I couldn’t resist. I had to click on the post and see what TIDOS had to actually say, to see if he updated it at all, if he realized how utterly, utterly icky this was. If I was the wife, I would be utterly, utterly repulsed by this TIDOS idiot and wonder if the idiot was being a stalker. I mean, this “thing” had gone after the husband and brought the wife’s name up before to the mud-slinging masses and now this . . . thing . . . is actually mentioning the baby and pregnancy.
Ugh. Ugh. Ugh.
Sadly, No! » Things that are too damn depressing said,
October 9, 2007 at 0:56
[...] Yankee didn’t pile onto the 12-year-old kid, so true to our promise, we got him [...]