17
Acepalooza: A Good Time Was Had By All
So, whether due to our fearless leader’s cluelessness or lefty black ops, Acepalooza almost collapsed before it began. However, we’re all now successfully drunk and posting like the losers we are, so if you have any comments for us, post away.
As it happens, we found ourselves perambulating down Boylston Street at approximately this time, and indeed found ourselves outside Lir, the disco-poundy meat-market bar with a giant line of college students outside that had, for some reason, been chosen as the site for Acepalooza. So we decided to launch a lefty black op.
There would be three major components to this operation: 1) Standing next to Ace and a few other weird-looking people as they hung out on the sidewalk smoking cigarettes, 2) Making fun of them while their backs were turned, and 3) Looking innocent when they turned around.
Of course, that’s pretty much what we do here every day. Except the ontological strangeness of cracking on Ace and his fans while they were actually standing there, making doop-dee-doop faces in actual real life, was a lot like this:
Observation: Ace fans look exactly like you think they do. (There are three main categories: tall and ungainly, short and bulldog-aspected, and featurelessly bland. Coloration, for the most part, is either a veal pallor or bright red.) Many of them, though, are older than you would have guessed. The median age seemed to be over 40 — which would suggest that many Aceketeers haven’t gotten laid for decades longer than was previously suspected.
Above (l-r): The one who looks like Fozzie Bear and the one in the Texas flag shirt
The appeal of this lefty black op lasted for nearly fifteen minutes before we went off to have a drink at a place whose bar wasn’t four-deep with whooping marketing co-eds in Jimmy Choo knockoffs, and pink-eared guys in Drakkar-scented Lauren/Polo shirts, and all that whole thing. The Aceketeers had by this time disappeared upstairs into their bouncer-secured private room, and when we wandered back a bit later, it looked like the party had ended a bit early and they’d all gone home.
The only tragedy of the evening — or, the only one that we had anything to do with — was that our Brilliant Plan never got off the ground. Badly-needed bears and pumas might have been recruited for the surge.
Que sera. But to keep spirits high, we’re planning a Boston-area Teh Sadly event, probably at the People’s Republik or the Plough & Stars Phoenix Landing, both of which are on Mass Ave in Cambridge. Ace and his pals are invited not only to pass by on the sidewalk, but even to come inside: We’re not too worried by the prospect that someone might do jazz hands and go Woo! at us, or whatever the big dangerous threat was last night, with the bouncer eye-rollingly guarding the staircase and so forth. Security stuff, in any case, costs money; such money should be used for vital bear and puma activities.
Jillian said,
September 17, 2007 at 0:51
Sigh….never have I more regretted my move to Florida.
Sporty said,
September 17, 2007 at 0:54
Silly moonbats. That bear costume looks like a chipmunk.
Johnny Coelacanth said,
September 17, 2007 at 1:01
“whether due to our fearless leader’s cluelessness or lefty black ops”
Hmmm, Occam’s razor always comes in handy at a time like this (cuts wrists, sticks hands in basin of warm water).
That video made me LOL when the red flying saucer came across the top… Acepalooka
mikey said,
September 17, 2007 at 1:03
No matter how much fun might be had, I have something, er, visceral against hanging out in bars with wingnuts…
I mighta checked out the webcast, though…
mikey
F'in Librul said,
September 17, 2007 at 1:04
Stalkers!
S. Weasel said,
September 17, 2007 at 1:25
And yet the only photo you publish is one first published at Ace’s. I call bullshit.
Slublog said,
September 17, 2007 at 1:30
Fozzie Bear?
Not a bad comparison at all, really.
Wocka, wocka, wocka, guys. Enjoy the snarking.
Johnny Coelacanth said,
September 17, 2007 at 1:33
“And yet the only photo you publish is one first published at Ace’s. I call bullshit.”
I called bullshit too, and you know what she said? She said “leave me the fuck alone, I just got off the phone with some stupid bint.” And then hung up on me. I am sad.
Gavin M. said,
September 17, 2007 at 1:41
So okay. Were you the dyed-blonde biker-looking chick who went up to Ace as he was standing in front of that silver traffic-light-switch thing, with his pack of Parliaments on top of it?
Gettinggaryedaway said,
September 17, 2007 at 1:42
Of COURSE you would go to People’s Republik! The fact is that the Left is nostalgic for the years of Stalin and Five-Year Plans.
Johnny Coelacanth said,
September 17, 2007 at 1:47
I personally am nostalgic for the years of Georgy Malenkov and Sixty Two Month Plans. That’s just how I roll.
Leftists Black Op #323 said,
September 17, 2007 at 1:47
As another proof of our undercover presence, the cheeto-eating fighting keyboarder on the right was short, overweight, was wearing a texan-flag shirt (yes, someone actually wears those) and carried a portable camera that he could barely fit on his front pocket.
You could spot the group from space.
Johnny Coelacanth said,
September 17, 2007 at 1:51
“wearing a texan-flag shirt”
Those should be illegal to wear outside the borders of the state of Texas. In a perfect world, they’d be rigged to explode with lethal force as soon as they crossed a state line, a la those necklaces they wore in that prison in Running Man.
S. Weasel said,
September 17, 2007 at 1:52
I’m not sure repeating your favorite stereotypes is proof of anything.
Are you?
Johnny Coelacanth said,
September 17, 2007 at 1:58
“I’m not sure repeating your favorite stereotypes is proof of anything.”
Were you there, Ms. Weasel? Gavin didn’t say anything about taking photos, so of course he’d use a photo from Ace’s He Man Woman-Haters Club meeting. Do you always accuse people of lying simply because you don’t like their politics?
mikey said,
September 17, 2007 at 1:58
Excuse me. I hate to be pedantic, but there is a significant difference between “stereotype” and “observed taxonomy”.
You are what your are. The stereotypes are only offensive to the extent they don’t actually reflect reality. The general lack of self awareness in most wingnuts precludes any accurate understanding of these differences…
mikey
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
September 17, 2007 at 2:02
Project much, weasel? Good thing you’re not calling yourself a ferret…maybe you can still get work with the The Nightmare Life-in-Death campaign.
I mean, the Giuliani campaign.
Bart said,
September 17, 2007 at 2:03
Paul Begala was there?
Bart said,
September 17, 2007 at 2:09
Hey, when we sadly, nosians get together, can we make fun of people behind their backs who look too conservative and call them closeted toe-tapping queers?
Ha ha, that would be fun.
Jillian said,
September 17, 2007 at 2:12
Well……it’s not so much that closeted queers are funny as it is that closeted queers who actively work against full legal equality for gays who are funny.
And of course by “funny” I mean “completely evil”.
Notorious P.A.T. said,
September 17, 2007 at 2:13
Nice video ) And I thought *I* had too much free time.
Gavin M. said,
September 17, 2007 at 2:13
So you’re demanding that I ‘prove’ I was outside Lir last night — otherwise, like Jamil Hussein, I cannot be conclusively said to exist?
Okay. Ace was wearing dark gray slacks and ghey-looking black patent-leather shoes. I do believe he wasn’t wearing glasses.
Now you must PROVE that YOU were there!!1 I expect verifiable data. Bwaha, snuck-haw.
Brian Preston said,
September 17, 2007 at 2:18
OMGz after reading this account, I am trembling. I must call Ace to see if he is ok!
Gavin M. said,
September 17, 2007 at 2:19
…And by ‘bwaha, snuck-haw,’ I mean that I actually saw someone of your general description there, but who (I say) who can say whether a mosque is ‘destroyed,’ or only ‘damaged’ without Confederate-Yankee-style ‘proof’?
Grampaw said,
September 17, 2007 at 2:29
By gum, I used to live no more than 150 yards from the Plough and Stars. Mind you, this was decades ago, when I still had erections.
As a point of order, shouldn’t any Boston drink-up involving politics happen at Doyle’s?
That’s how they did it in my day, at any rate.
a different brad said,
September 17, 2007 at 2:33
This reminds me, I have to start paying attention to what events Pam Atlas will be at.
I sooooooooooo want my picture with her. And Ann Althouse. And Meggie McArdle.
Not that I’d post the shots anywhere. Their fans are too not sane in the least tiny little itty bitty bit. (Meg’s fans might be vaguely sane, or at least not bloodthirsty.)
John O said,
September 17, 2007 at 3:01
Damn.
I’m just not sure it is worth the days off of work, which I horde like diamonds. Plus it would cost hotel and bar money.
But, to your credit, it’s worth considering.
John O said,
September 17, 2007 at 3:24
I think Pammy would blow me if I could just pretend to be a psychotic for long enough.
Alas, my powers are weak.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
September 17, 2007 at 3:46
John O, you need the moustache of riding.
Dave in Texas said,
September 17, 2007 at 3:50
heh… you swipe my pic and claim you were there mocking me?
How many different ways can we describe pathetic? What a remarkable bunch of pussies you are. You have redefined lame.
We had a fine time. You creamed and fantasized that you’d show up, and express yourselves, and yet not a one of you had the balls to do it.
I’d pity you, if I cared enough.
Cowards.
best
um said,
September 17, 2007 at 3:58
The S,N rendezvous needs to wait until late October/early November. In other words, when I am back living in the Boston area. I thought about suggesting Manray, but I think they are still closed. How funny would it be to see the Aceketeers trying to infiltrate that place? Fozzie the Bear would take on a whole new meaning; heck, Andy Sullivan would come up from P-town if he knew bears would be in attendance.
mikey said,
September 17, 2007 at 3:59
Dave.
Dave!
Dude. You’re REALLY emotional!
Here.
Breathe in this paper bag.
No, go on. Breathe.
You ok? ‘Cause for a minute there, I was worried about you.
Better?
No, don’t cry. Ok? Good. Here, I’ve got a kleenex here somewhere….
mikey
John O said,
September 17, 2007 at 4:00
ITTDGY,
Hilarious. I think you’re right. Gotta go more Bolton. I think I can pull it off (as it were), but what about the fake psychosis? That’s the tough nut to crack.
Dave, I think you were being mocked, picture-swipe or not.
Just a guess though.
Dave in Texas said,
September 17, 2007 at 4:02
cute. also lame, but cute.
seriously, doesn’t it disturb you that your peep attempted to become paparazzi, and couldn’t even pull that off? It’s like, I don’t know, not having a dick or something.
that’s pretty funny… to me.
tb said,
September 17, 2007 at 4:08
.
What is else is not having a dick like?
Pere Ubu said,
September 17, 2007 at 4:10
At least nobody got a giant sammich Photoshopped into their sweaty gouty wingnut paws this time around.
No, I have to say, on the grounds of the UNTOUCHED PHOTO above, there’s no reason not to avoid these clowns based entirely on their appearance in real life.
To paraphrase Crow T, Robot, “You guys were shameless before we got here!”
pajama momma said,
September 17, 2007 at 4:10
What is else is not having a dick like?
stutter much?
John O said,
September 17, 2007 at 4:11
Yo, Dave, we all have our own definition of humor. Have at it.
It’s like Iraq, and hope. Hope is cheap, anus, so indulge yourself.
Tell us, what’s it like to be in that peculiar area of the bell curve that most of the rest of us like to call, “batshit insane?”
You are an eagle, my friend. And I am both a puma and a bear. Plus, a Great White Shark.
*strut*
tb said,
September 17, 2007 at 4:15
Oh, fuck me, I of course meant: WHAT ELSE is not having a dick like? Huh, Davey? Lay it on me, bro.
Drummer Hoff said,
September 17, 2007 at 4:16
You don’t fool me.
Spokane Moderate said,
September 17, 2007 at 4:18
It’s like, I don’t know, not having a dick or something.
that’s pretty funny… to me.
Somebody’s got some issues…
Righteous Bubba said,
September 17, 2007 at 4:19
Dave in Texas said
Check out the goofball. He is goofy.
kobie said,
September 17, 2007 at 4:25
Wow, I see Dave really is as big of a schmuck as he looks like in his picture.
Lesley said,
September 17, 2007 at 4:28
Forget bear and puma costumes, you should have gone dressed in military recruitment uniforms and handed them applications and invited them to join the surge.
Dave in Texas said,
September 17, 2007 at 4:28
it’s so cute when they add a “y” to your name.
What is it about us that makes you want to elevate us to celebrity status?
Does that hurt, somewhere inside, where you don’t want to talk about?
Smiling Mortician said,
September 17, 2007 at 4:28
Crikey, Dave, what’s next? Swirlies? Wet willies? Atomic wedgies?
John O said,
September 17, 2007 at 4:29
Lesley,
Good idea, except we know none of them would actually join.
Wars are fun when you’re a cheerleader! It’s like football, only with more death!
John O said,
September 17, 2007 at 4:33
What is it about us that makes you want to elevate us to celebrity status?
Trick question.
Your inability to elevate yourselves to celebrity status?
Our knowledge that anything we did still could not elevate you to celebrity status?
Our hope that people like you GOT celebrity status?
Inquiring minds want to know.
Dave in Texas said,
September 17, 2007 at 4:34
you’re the folks that seem to care, as evidenced by the thread.
not me.
hurt?
John O said,
September 17, 2007 at 4:36
Enlist, Dave. Walk the talk.
It’s easy. Standards are so low now I’m sure they would take you.
Trick knee? Debilitating hangnail? What’s your excuse?
Righteous Bubba said,
September 17, 2007 at 4:36
you’re the folks that seem to care, as evidenced by the thread.
You mean that thread you’re participating in?
John O said,
September 17, 2007 at 4:37
Oh, let me guess: You’re fighting the war of ideas here at home.
LOL.
What. A. Dick.
Dave in Texas said,
September 17, 2007 at 4:38
nite ladies
J— said,
September 17, 2007 at 4:39
So, Dave in Texas, does this mean we’ll see you at the Boston-area Sadly event?
Lesley said,
September 17, 2007 at 4:41
Is Dave from Texas Fozzie Bear? Cuz he sure seems offended by that pic up there.
See if that was my picture I wouldn’t be coming in here and admitting that was me. I’d be too embarrassed. (Best thing to do with a bad pic is to chuckle along…and hope everyone forgets you looked like Fozzie Bear at the bar last night.)
Spokane Moderate said,
September 17, 2007 at 4:45
and hope everyone forgets you looked like Fozzie Bear at the bar last night
He’s either Fozzie Bear or Mr. Whipple.
a different brad said,
September 17, 2007 at 4:49
Dave, you want genuinely pathetic?
I went to Boston last night and hung outside Lit and stalked Gavin and Brad stalking you.
Me so saaaaaaaaaaad.
Johnny Coelacanth said,
September 17, 2007 at 4:55
I think Dave’s the one with the receding hairline and brown stuff on his upper lip. I grew up in Texas, and that certainly looks like a native.
As an aside, we’re not “elevating” you twits to any sort of status. It’s just that the whole “Aceapalooka” thing promised to be such a huge sociological trainwreck it was fun to think about observing it. As Gavin’s report made clear, the reality was much less interesting. I hope you had fun at your little party, and I am content to know that it sucked ass.
Lesley said,
September 17, 2007 at 4:57
Aaaaand another thing. Ace publicized the event date, time and location on his blog. If he’d wanted to keep that private he could have emailed the attendees. Perhaps the fantasy of a couple of SadlyNosians or other lefties dropping by gave him a hard-on. We mustn’t forget Ace sees himself as a soldier. This almost visceral near encounter with the ideological enemy might have been pivotal for him.
Hope he hasn’t got PTSD!
Lesley said,
September 17, 2007 at 5:00
The guy on the right looks a little like confederate yankee.
g said,
September 17, 2007 at 5:01
So shouldn’t Sadly No have a Sadly-palooza in some Lefty enclave like the People’s Republic of Santa Monica, or perhaps the Seattle community of Fremont?
LifeCoach said,
September 17, 2007 at 5:01
What a bunch of pathetic losers. Hard to decide what’s more pathetic, the fact that you hide behind street lights sniggerin’ about other people, or that you pull up your skirts and run back here to post insults about them. How old are ya, 10? How’s that cookie sale goin?
Johnny Coelacanth said,
September 17, 2007 at 5:07
“LifeCoach”? You’re pretty harsh and negative for a “LifeCoach.” I was planning a cookie sale, but you’ve destroyed my self esteem to the point where I don’t think I could sell a cookie now. Thanks, dick.
Aces in the hole said,
September 17, 2007 at 5:07
You creamed and fantasized that you’d show up
Actually, Dave?
Dave. I was there. I think you might remember me. The tight jeans? The red lipstick? Yeah, I sure remember you. You’d had a few, but I think you were sincere when you said the things you did. I’m so-o-o-o-o sorry the way things turned out. It wasn’t your fault – no, really. I know – you were tired. I understand.
marc page said,
September 17, 2007 at 5:07
Hey LifeCoach,
How’s that occupation going? I think it’s really something that with all you have to deal with it in Iraq, you can drop by here to comment.
Stay safe; don’t let the brown people get ya
Clif said,
September 17, 2007 at 5:08
Maybe a S,N/3Bulls/Freelance Genius/Outside the Tent drink until you fall down event should be planned down here in DC. All our nemeses would also be welcome, including Ace, Uncle Jimbo, Confederate Yankee, Gay Patriot, Gay-wait-gay Pundit, Scott Mirengoff, Alicia Colon, Ben Shapiro, Dan Riehl, Michelle Malkin, her husband who writes all her shit, and the rest would all be welcome.
g said,
September 17, 2007 at 5:09
Hard to decide what’s more pathetic,
Someone who rushes over to some snark blog to post a defense.
How’s that Life Coaching going, pal? Getting many clients?
Bart said,
September 17, 2007 at 5:10
I’ll be at the sadly, no palooza.
Righteous Bubba said,
September 17, 2007 at 5:12
What I want to know is whether or not Dave got it on with Pat there.
g said,
September 17, 2007 at 5:12
We had a fine time.
AND, best of all, the number attending didn’t rise to the point where a mandatory gratuity was charged! Rock on!
marc page said,
September 17, 2007 at 5:13
Got to get it up before you can get it on, Bubba. In Dave’s case, sadly, no.
Bart said,
September 17, 2007 at 5:14
So you better look real good.
marc page said,
September 17, 2007 at 5:15
Having seen the cream of the crop from Aceville, bart, that shouldn’t be a stretch for most people.
Johnny Coelacanth said,
September 17, 2007 at 5:15
So is it “Sadlypalooza,” “Yearly, No,” or “SnarkCon?”
Qetesh the Abyssinian said,
September 17, 2007 at 5:22
Oh, guys, this is uber-tragic: here I am, way, waaaaaay down south, and all you guys can talk about is having a party without me. Sob, choke.
No, it’s okay, don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine here, by myself. I’ll, uh, do some crocheting or something. Really.
Sniff.
Legalize said,
September 17, 2007 at 5:30
Jeter. Joba.
Dave in Texas said,
September 17, 2007 at 5:40
cracking me up.
seriously. how badly do you feel? way down where it hurts?
LifeCoach said,
September 17, 2007 at 5:41
The name “lifecoach” is a joke . Kinda like when you tell people you’re smart.
“I think it’s really something that with all you have to deal with it in Iraq,”
WTF has that got to do with anything……..amazing how brainwashed you are that you have to get in that Iraq talking point in every thread. Pathetic, that is.
“Someone who rushes over to some snark blog to post a defense.”
Rushes over? Rushes? How amusing… Oh, my my my, don’t y’all think you’re important.
Bunch of juvenile twits dressed up in Spiderman underwears on a Sunday night, defeating the mean ol’ Aceapalookas with your imaginary plastic swords.
Don’t forget to go potty before you go to bed! k?
Righteous Bubba said,
September 17, 2007 at 5:44
Dave in Texas said,
September 17, 2007 at 4:38
nite ladies
Dave in Texas said,
September 17, 2007 at 5:40
cracking me up.
Morning Dave. Weak bladder?
Spokane Moderate said,
September 17, 2007 at 5:45
cracking me up.
seriously. how badly do you feel? way down where it hurts?
I’m starting to think Mr. Whipple is not a nice person.
J— said,
September 17, 2007 at 5:50
Dave in Texas, you woke up! Just for us!
LifeCoach: I’ll put you down for paper plates and plastic utensils, alright?
marc page said,
September 17, 2007 at 5:55
LifeCoach,
Iraq, to you, is just a “talking point” ? Way to confirm the WingNut Stereotype, genius.
(Hey, Dave, there’s a photograph of Mr & Mrs T.Bogg on Crooks & Liars; maybe that’ll help you with your performance anxiety.)
g said,
September 17, 2007 at 5:56
Rushes over? Rushes? How amusing…
Uh, darlin’ …..you came here. No one invited you.
J— said,
September 17, 2007 at 5:56
Hooray! Another Dave in Texas picture that requires absolutely no photoshopping!
g said,
September 17, 2007 at 5:58
defeating the mean ol’ Aceapalookas with your imaginary plastic swords.
Actually, how many of your were there. Seven? Twelve maybe? bet some of you ducked out before the tab came. “Deaeating you?” No, no, not defeating. You’re still standing.
We’re just laughing our asses off at you.
g said,
September 17, 2007 at 5:59
Oh, Dave. You wanna be careful on Tremont Street.
a different brad said,
September 17, 2007 at 6:02
I’ve requested the gathering be called Aceapalooza 2: Electric Boogaloo, but that might be too played out a reference.
D. Sidhe said,
September 17, 2007 at 6:05
“pussies” … “like not having a dick” … “ladies” …. “pull up your skirts”…
Is anyone else getting the impression that not only have these guys not been laid in decades, but that they’re never *going* to be?
Gentlemen, an odd thing about women: We tend to find less attractive men who feel that the worst insult you can lay on someone is calling them, you know, women. I mean, some women go for it, but sex is a lot more fun with women who aren’t totally self-loathing, take my word for it.
Johnny Coelacanth said,
September 17, 2007 at 6:06
“dressed up in Spiderman underwears ”
That’s Silver Surfer underwear, Mr. LameCoach.
“how badly do you feel? way down where it hurts?”
Who the fuck are you, Dr. Phil? To tell you the truth, I feel pretty good because I’m grateful to not be a four-eyed whitebread milquetoast chickenshit wingnut cheeleader. Life is good.
FlipYrWhig said,
September 17, 2007 at 6:07
imaginary plastic swords
Hey, hey, hey. That’s Josh Trevino’s idea of a happening evening.
Anne Laurie said,
September 17, 2007 at 6:07
Before we set the date for SnarkOn One, can we start a fund to ensure HTML Mencken will attend?
If you’d prefer to keep it private, you have my email address, okay?
marc page said,
September 17, 2007 at 6:08
But, D., these men have fought for our country, for our freedom. They have worn the uniform and lived the code; they’ve walked the talk … wait … you were talking to the guys from Aceville? Nevermind …
ignobility said,
September 17, 2007 at 6:08
If there is a Sadly, No get together, someone please remember to invite Bruce.
Johnny Coelacanth said,
September 17, 2007 at 6:10
We must also remember to invite Dr. BLT, Gary Ruppert and Kevin. It wouldn’t be the same without them.
Lesley said,
September 17, 2007 at 6:17
You mean Dave’s not Fozzie Bear but the Confederate Yankee look alike? I ‘d offer a “there but for the grace of god go you” except…well, I think I’d prefer looking like the bear myself.
a different brad said,
September 17, 2007 at 6:17
Actually, I fenced a bit in high school and college, so I have a real practice sabre.
Does that mean my penis is big?
zsa said,
September 17, 2007 at 6:18
Honestly, these guys don’t look much different than most of the dorks I’ve worked with over the years. I mean that in a good way, being pretty much a dork myself. Amiable gents. Decent people.
Most of the wingnuts I’ve known are decent in personal settings. If you were to talk with them about the weather, or sports, or music, they are usually quite, well, normal.
It only gets ugly when you start looking a bit closer. The pathological fear of one or more Clintons. The ironclad certainty that their leader is, well, infallible. The deep-seated conviction that over half the country are either naive dupes of some vast socialist conspiracy, or else traitors actively furthering the goals of that conspiracy.
These are they guys who would chuckle if we all got rounded up into camps “for our own good”. In Stalin’s Russia, these are the types who would turn their neighbors in for having incorrect thoughts. Every society has them.
In personal interactions they’re perfectly good people. Some are quite intelligent.
Their mental model of how individuals fit together into a society is overly simplified, however.
They see nothing wrong with this. There’s lots of people like them, but these ones just happen to have an interest in politics and government.
We can’t educate them. We aren’t going to execute them and stack their bodies like cordwood, which is what a significant number of them advocate for us.
We just have to live with them, and insulate our political systems from their simple-minded looniness. This is what checks and balances is really all about.
Shame it’s broken down recently.
Righteous Bubba said,
September 17, 2007 at 6:18
Hooray! Another Dave in Texas picture that requires absolutely no photoshopping!
And yet it screeeeeeeeeeeeams for it.
Johnny Coelacanth said,
September 17, 2007 at 6:19
No, the unfortunately named Slub is Fozzie Bear. He even visited upstream and wasn’t a total jerk. Good to know that if Dave hangs out with him long enough, some of the class may rub off. Could happen.
J— said,
September 17, 2007 at 6:20
And yet it screeeeeeeeeeeeams for it.
Quite so. How can this be? It is a mystery!
Gavin M. said,
September 17, 2007 at 6:22
A package of Charmin. A caption exhorting the viewer not to squeeze it.
marc page said,
September 17, 2007 at 6:25
Dave may take the Looksism Question to an entirely new level. If merely publishing an unretouched photograph of the guy leads to universal derision, what’s a liberal to do?
Righteous Bubba said,
September 17, 2007 at 6:32
A package of Charmin. A caption exhorting the viewer not to squeeze it.
oooOOOOOooooo yeeeeeeEEEEEESSSSSssss!
Some Guy said,
September 17, 2007 at 7:38
Righteous Bubba said,
September 17, 2007 at 6:32
A package of Charmin. A caption exhorting the viewer not to squeeze it.
oooOOOOOooooo yeeeeeeEEEEEESSSSSssss!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f7cKcGv3z9E
Humor Me said,
September 17, 2007 at 8:06
Did I miss it? Are there any Ace’opalookas to poke in the eye, or have they all had their last zima and gone to bed?
Pinko Punko said,
September 17, 2007 at 8:34
I didn’t have time to read the whole thread, but just the other day I was saying to Clif, “hey Clif, lame=awesome.” And then Clif said to me, “did you just redefine lame???” Me, “yes I did.”
S. Weasel said,
September 17, 2007 at 8:44
Gavin M: you actually paid attention to and remembered Ace’s slacks and shoes, and you have the gall to call HIM ghey? Do straight guys even say “slacks” — let alone notice them?
Slacks. Jesus. I think I menstruated just typing that.
Some Guy said,
September 17, 2007 at 8:55
Maybe you should cut down on your gay sex intake if you’re bleeding, Weasel. The anal kind of gay sex. In your anus.
“Slacks”. As opposed to “jeans”. Both are sub-categories of the “pants” genre.
Incidentally, the youtube link Digby has up is ripe with 28% apologists, and quite funny.
S. Weasel said,
September 17, 2007 at 9:01
Hm. Yes. As opposed to the anal kind of gay sex in your ear-hole, is that?
Pinko Punko said,
September 17, 2007 at 9:02
I love period jokes. Thing is once you shoot that wad, you gotta get some new material.
I am gonna say I’m sure the Ace guys get laid, and they are probably not gay, except for the closet cases, and they probably didn’t dealt and then smelt, and they are most likely not made of glue, and since I am not rubber, what they say doesn’t bounce off of me and stick to them, and they are probably not like totally mega-ultra-infinity times a jillion total stupid-heads. Because I’m not in third grade.
Best,
PP
PS
I think they are STAGMC chundernozzlicious munchwagon cobags.
islmfaoscist said,
September 17, 2007 at 9:12
These are exactly the type of guys you always have to throw out when you lock the doors. I feel sorry for the wait staff, since you just know they’re allergic to tipping. I think that’s in one of Ayn Rand’s books somewhere, you never tip someone since you’re stifling their ability to grow or something.
Lesley said,
September 17, 2007 at 9:41
Google “men’s slacks” and what do you get? A whole lot of “men’s slacks.”
Lesley said,
September 17, 2007 at 9:45
S. Weasel speaking of menstruating reminded me of the time I encountered a weenie macho guy in faux fatigues flying a miniature plane in a park driving the birds crazy with the very loud bzzzzzzzzzzz. Several people asked him to stop and he refused. Then a park ranger asked him to stop and he got in his pick up truck and drove a mile away and started flying it again.
Rather than bother talking to him again, I reached into my backpack, pulled out a Kotex pad and started searching for dog shit, which I found in no time flat in the dog-designated area. I covered the pad in dog shit, walked to his pick up and stuck it on his windshield.
I hope he got the message.
S. Weasel said,
September 17, 2007 at 9:52
You followed him for a mile?
Lesley said,
September 17, 2007 at 10:10
A mile is a 12-15 minute walk S. Weasel. I can see you don’t get out much.
S. Weasel said,
September 17, 2007 at 10:14
If by “get out” you mean follow a stranger for a 12-15 minute walk for the purpose of sticking a dogshit covered sanitary napkin onto the windshield of his truck, then no…I don’t get out much.
owlbear1 said,
September 17, 2007 at 10:41
You forgot the “Self-centered asshole” part of the story there Weasel…
Some Guy said,
September 17, 2007 at 11:02
REAL Americans say, “Sanitary napkin”, instead of “pads”, Lesley. ( Even though they look nothing like napkins… ) For, as we know, women, and woman’s biology, is evil and wrong, and needs to be hidden behind obtuse phraseology.
And one should never wear fatigues/camos unless there are chevrons on your shoulder.
S. Weasel said,
September 17, 2007 at 11:14
Napkins, pads. Covered in turd and stuck to the windshield, I’m not sure it makes much difference.
So does that really pass for normal behavior around here, or are y’all just circling the wagons?
Notochord said,
September 17, 2007 at 11:28
Hooray! Another Dave in Texas picture that requires absolutely no photoshopping!
Except that it’s obviously already been photoshopped.
However, I can’t figure if he’s pretending the pictures are genuine or if it is just another badly played joke.
Humor Me said,
September 17, 2007 at 11:32
step out for a minute..
hey! weasel! I’m uncouth! I make Noam Chomsky look like Norman Podhoretz!
let’s quarrel!
S. Weasel said,
September 17, 2007 at 11:36
Careful there, son. I have sanitary napkins.
Humor Me said,
September 17, 2007 at 11:50
Hint, Weasel..you don’t wear them in your armpits..
ok, you go.
S. Weasel said,
September 17, 2007 at 11:51
Ummmm…okay. Hey. Shouldn’t the plural of “Kotex” be “Kotices”?
Humor Me said,
September 17, 2007 at 11:55
actually, I don’t really want to talk to you weasel. Knowing any more details about your sad, tiny worldview would just depress me before bed. Night. Jerk.
S. Weasel said,
September 17, 2007 at 11:59
Well! That went sour fast. And here I thought it was going so well.
owlbear1 said,
September 17, 2007 at 12:38
You forgot the ‘Self-centered asshole’ part of the story there Weasel…
victim said,
September 17, 2007 at 12:57
WTF is the antispam question? I have an important comment to leave.
Dennis Savage said,
September 17, 2007 at 12:58
I could do Fremont, or Wallingford. Be careful, though, so many people showed up for the Bridge Motel art event last night that they had to call the fire brigade out. I was hearing from other folks who’d stayed or had seizures there that the event was cool and there was good food. Plus, I got a lime-chipotle chocolate kiss from Purple Mark!
Sadly, Cambridgeport said,
September 17, 2007 at 14:30
To those suggesting a lefty liberal enclave like Fremont or Santa Monica might be more appropriate… umm…. The People’s Republic? In the People’s Republic of Cambridge, Taxachusetts?
http://www.epodunk.com/top10/liberal/index.html
Of course that survey seems to skew ridiculously in favor of MA, possibly because one factor is “public officials performing gay unions” and our public officials are required to perform gay unions, but my point stands: The second most liberal city, right next the the most liberal city in the most liberal state is plenty liberal for the lot of you. Sour grapes.
Also, Manray is still dead, buried, and reincarnated as a truly hideous piece of cheap pre-fab condo shit billed to be right in the heart of “edgy” Central Square. I spit on it every day as I walk home.
Phinn said,
September 17, 2007 at 15:40
Making fun of them while their backs were turned
I just got the biggest douche-chill by reading that. Seriously, dude, it’s gone on for, like, 10 minutes now. Make it stop.
Just reading this stuff is such a turd of an experience. It makes me want to reconsider the course of my entire life. Seriously, reading this psychological train-wreck of a post on this website is a life-changing moment for me. You guys could give Tony Robbins a run for his money — the whole cautionary tale approach hasn’t really been done in the Self-Help industry. “For only $39.95, you can turn your life around … you don’t want to end up like …. this, do you?”
Do you realize the extent of the mental disorders that a person must have to even say these things, much less DO them? But, then again, you probably are at least marginally aware. It’s not like there’s a shortage of self-consciousness around here. You people LIKE to be the losers and the outcasts. The Democrats winning Congress has got to be the biggest downer since you people left art school. Instead of living in a world that daily validates your feelings of isolation and subordination and abandonment, you actually have to step up and do stuff. Being the persecuted minority must feel SO much more comfortable.
We aren’t going to execute them and stack their bodies like cordwood, which is what a significant number of them advocate for us.
Ah, the persecuted minority thing makes an appearance. I should have guessed. If the persecution melodrama isn’t playing out in real life, one can always just imagine the persecution. It’s almost as good as the real thing.
I’m really just amazed. Society hasn’t changed much since seventh grade.
Thanks, guys, it’s been a real eye-opener.
Marita said,
September 17, 2007 at 15:40
What has the Man Ray been reincarnated as? I hadn’t noticed it. Hm…
I agree with the rankings you posted in general terms, but I’m not sure I buy Boston being more liberal than Cambridge. When they replace Mumbles Menino with an openly gay African American mayor, then we can talk.
As for the Aceholes wandering in here, it would be nice if they’d send the clever people over to spar. The ones who’ve had their cages rattled enough to pop in and say hello just aren’t very interesting. Although slublog seems OK.
Would Fozzie Bear be a good addition to the Iraq Bear and Puma campaign, or would he be more appropriate in a USO sort of capacity?
Hysterical Woman said,
September 17, 2007 at 15:45
Straight guys don’t wear shoes and pants, guys! That’s for gay men, with their menstruation and their lack of dicks!
Johnny Coelacanth said,
September 17, 2007 at 15:56
“Just reading this stuff is such a turd of an experience. It makes me want to reconsider the course of my entire life.”
You’re saying you might stop being a war-supporting wingnut? Then perhaps some good has come out of all this.
Phinn said,
September 17, 2007 at 16:11
I’ve never supported Iraqi Freedom. I opposed the first Gulf War back in 1991 or whenever. I even opposed Clinton’s bombing the crap out of the Balkans, because, you see, I oppose the policy of forcible regime change with regard to countries halfway around the world that pose no security threat to the US. As predicted, Clinton’s war also precipitated the very ethnic cleansing that was used as a pretext for the bombing campaign in the first place, only in reverse.
But this is all neither here nor there. The larger point is that you have so convinced yourself that you are in the midst of some grand, theatrical struggle against your perceived enemies that you no longer see yourself as you really are. If hiding outside a bar and SECRETLY snickering at a blogger (and then writing about it!) is your idea of a Saturday night, then I honestly and sincerely believe that you are in need of psychological help, although I suspect that part of the nature of your mental problems is that you do not realize that you need such help.
Marita said,
September 17, 2007 at 16:16
Alternatively, Gavin is trying to send some people into a frothing fit not as some grand theatrical struggle, but rather for some cheap laughs.
Hmm… I wonder if it’s working…
Sadly, Cambridgeport said,
September 17, 2007 at 16:17
Marita-
They tore down the building that used to house Manray and put in an ugly pre-fab stack of condos. It was bad enough that it closed, and that condos were put in on semi-sacred ground, but if you could see just how.. well I’ll stop whining and take some pictures for you.
I don’t see how Boston is more liberal either. More Democratic fundraisers? That whole Bill Weld thing, maybe, where many lefty places like Cambridge and Northampton went for the socially liberal Republican while Boston and the blue-collars went to the union-backed Democrat? Objective studies always slip up on the subjective exceptions.
I prefer Fozzie fighting alongside the bears and pumas. It reinterprets the whole thing in my head as a silent-film-era bar fight complete with the ragtime piano accompaniment. Of course there has to be an overdecorated general or two and some very distinguished visiting Republican senators. And pie, lots of pie.
tb said,
September 17, 2007 at 16:17
Are you kidding? I looooooove watching people like you writhe in frustration at losing. It’d be a lot better if the worthless fucking children you elected hadn’t gotten hundreds of thousands of people killed and come close to destroying everything sacred to real Americans, but it’s still pretty fucking sweet.
By the way, you can suck my cock for the little chickenshit swipe at art school. I pay my mortgage with money I earned playing the drums. I’ve sold paintings for thousands of dollars. I take my girlfriend to Rome every year or so on music money. My life is better than yours, bitch.
Lame Man said,
September 17, 2007 at 16:17
since you people left art school
Ah, yes. Art school. The gay sex before showering every morning. The simulated menstruation exercises. The late night sessions honoring Stalin. How I miss teh art school!
Do I have the nutball characterization about right? Am I missing anything?
kiki said,
September 17, 2007 at 16:17
Phinn,
It isn’t the “minority” that thinks the Bush administration are crooks, or that the people that support them are fucking idiots, or that the needs of working people are more important than the needs of huge corporations, or that wars that kill hundreds of thousands of innocent people for no adequately defined reason are a good idea, any more. I think you’re still living in late September 2001, when the corpse on which you vultures endlessly peck was still warm.
It’s cretins like you who are the minority now, not us. You’re free to feel as persecuted as you like, because normal people are no longer interested in your bullshit.
Phinn said,
September 17, 2007 at 16:23
Do I have the nutball characterization about right? Am I missing anything?
I dunno. Ask tb.
Lame Man said,
September 17, 2007 at 16:25
No, no phinn. tb says he / she was actually there. I want to hear more about your view of things, including and especially about art school.
tb said,
September 17, 2007 at 16:32
I think phinn swam away.
GoatBoy said,
September 17, 2007 at 16:33
“If merely publishing an unretouched photograph of the guy leads to universal derision, what’s a liberal to do?”
You try walking through the mall wearing a shirt purchased at an airport gift shop and see the reaction YOU get!
“If hiding outside a bar and SECRETLY snickering at a blogger (and then writing about it!) is your idea of a Saturday night, then I honestly and sincerely believe that you are in need of psychological help, although I suspect that part of the nature of your mental problems is that you do not realize that you need such help.”
Your concern is appreciated. Perhaps, while the therapist is on the clock, they can also ask about the compulsion to defend oneself against such clearly inferior and deranged specimens?
Sadly, Cambridgeport said,
September 17, 2007 at 16:40
Oh Phinn, dear old chap, nobody is saying that we AREN’T a motely ensemble of geeks, sexual misfits, and amateur philosophers with too much time on our hands. Serious people don’t pay any attention to wingnuts and their websites at all. This is the political equivalent of a gay albino monkey fetish porn site.
See, there is this particular sociological group out there that is funny (in a bitterly sad sort of funny), and we get our juvenile little kicks by mocking them. Its just our particular thing, like amateur ornithologists might go apeshit over a rare woodpecker. Does that mean that we should set foreign policy or run the Senate? No, and nobody said that we should. The people who are qualified to do that don’t even know that Ace exists. If you want to go end the war or solve the world’s problems, or do something serious with your free time, have at it. Wrong website.
I hope that you aren’t suggesting that, having a been a pacifist for the last two decades you are suddenly pro-war because these people that you found at this liberal comedy website are losers. If so, I mean, well ok then.
Marita said,
September 17, 2007 at 16:40
They tore down the building that used to house Manray and put in an ugly pre-fab stack of condos. It was bad enough that it closed, and that condos were put in on semi-sacred ground, but if you could see just how.. well I’ll stop whining and take some pictures for you.
I realized they tore down the building (my former roommate was quite the ManRay denizen), but I didn’t notice what went up in its place. I’m still in the area; I should wander by one of these times.
I remember my roommate saying that they were considering re-opening the club in that building on Main Street with the “Butchie’s Night Stage” on the side, but that never happened, and I noticed yesterday that that building has been torn down as well.
Phinn said,
September 17, 2007 at 16:49
I hope that you aren’t suggesting that, having a been a pacifist for the last two decades you are suddenly pro-war because these people that you found at this liberal comedy website are losers.
A. I’m not a pacifist.
B. Not even the magnitude of loserdom I have encountered here could effect that transformation.
C. Please (for the love of God, please!) stop flattering yourselves.
What a world.
Lame Man said,
September 17, 2007 at 16:56
What a country! [/yakov]
Marita said,
September 17, 2007 at 16:58
C. Please (for the love of God, please!) stop flattering yourselves.
Oh, but we’re all a bunch of godless Commies over here, Phinn. Unlikely to convince anyone to do anything “for the love of God”.
I would have thought you’d know better than that. But then, you can’t even resist the urge to continue to reply to the losiest losers that ever lost. Go figure.
Flatter on, everyone!
Tyro said,
September 17, 2007 at 17:02
carried a portable camera that he could barely fit on his front pocket
Conservatives really need to get over their fear of man-bags.
owlbear1 said,
September 17, 2007 at 17:03
Phinn, you sure have a odd notion of ” Secretly ”
But then again you have a lot of odd notions don’t you?
Phinn said,
September 17, 2007 at 17:04
But then, you can’t even resist the urge to continue to reply to the losiest losers that ever lost. Go figure.
So true. I really have to be going anyway. My underlings tell me that the nameless brown people who have been detailing my Hummer for sub-poverty wages have finished, so I have to go down the lobby and let the valet bring me my car, so that I can then complain about the smudge on the dashboard and get the little brown bastards fired and deported. Besides, I’m delivering the keynote address at the Young Republicans luncheon, and I don’t want to be late. Those bloodlusts don’t incite themselves, you know. Ta ta!
tb said,
September 17, 2007 at 17:06
He’s also not real clear on the meaning of the word loser.
owlbear1 said,
September 17, 2007 at 17:11
Shit! The punching bag ran off…
tb said,
September 17, 2007 at 17:19
There goes a gray, dumb little man.
zsa said,
September 17, 2007 at 17:19
Phinn, don’t make me go digging through the freeper threads again.
Seriously, I won’t go there again.
You know as well as I do that it’s true. We don’t talk about exterminating our political enemies, even as a joke. The wingnuts do.
MCH said,
September 17, 2007 at 17:20
Phinn said,
September 17, 2007 at 17:04
But then, you can’t even resist the urge to continue to reply to the losiest losers that ever lost. Go figure.
Pot paging Kettle! Someone needs a little self-awareness, stat.
Marita said,
September 17, 2007 at 17:25
No, that was my line MCH. Phinn just hasn’t mastered the ancient art of italics tags.
Don’t worry about the punching bag leaving, owlbear. Now we can get back to flattering ourselves without interruption.
Lame Man said,
September 17, 2007 at 17:27
Self, have I told you today how witty and handsome you are?
Marita said,
September 17, 2007 at 17:29
I’d like to add that the shirt I’m wearing today looks absolutely stunning on me.
tb said,
September 17, 2007 at 17:32
God damn we are good.
The Self-Loathing Multiculturalist said,
September 17, 2007 at 17:33
As wingnuts go, Phinn wasn’t too bad.
I went trolling on SmallDeadAnimals for a few days. People there actually took me seriously when I said that I was going to destroy western civilization by having gay sex.
Marita said,
September 17, 2007 at 17:35
If only Bruce were here, so we could heap our praises on him.
[SIGH]
Righteous Bubba said,
September 17, 2007 at 17:47
Let’s pick on Dave again.
Sadly, Cambridgeport said,
September 17, 2007 at 17:56
Shorter Phinn:
The sheer loseriness of you losers taking time out to respond to people that you call loosers has changed my whole perspective on life. You flatter yourselves if you think that what you say has had any impact on me.
Yeah, he was fun. Hope we get more like him.
Marita said,
September 17, 2007 at 18:05
Let’s pick on Dave again.
I’m sorry, what was that? I couldn’t hear you over Dave’s shirt.
Does anyone else think he looks like Cousin Eddie from the National Lampoon’s Vacation franchise? Randy Quaid should sue.
Chuckles said,
September 17, 2007 at 18:07
I ran into the real heroes of the Iraq War on the Mall this weekend. And I don’t mean the Iraq Veterans Against the War, I mean all the College Republicans who know just how hard it is to support a war that is deeply unpopular with the rest of the country.
mikey said,
September 17, 2007 at 18:18
Excuse me, was somebody looking for mental illness? Sorry I’m late, Phinn. I was in therapy…
mikey
MCH said,
September 17, 2007 at 18:24
The Acies really need to enlist. Or at least sign up as mercenar… I mean, security contractors. More bodies are needed on the ground now that Blackwater is out on its ear.
Can Dave shoot tangos, or just varmints? Does Coach Dave pull spaghetti? Do bears shit in the woods because there are Republicans in the can? Stay tuned!1!!!1
Sadly, Cambridgeport said,
September 17, 2007 at 18:34
Poo Poo for President 2008. I don’t get it. So someone actually paid the money to have that printed so that Dave could brandish it proudly in front of the MA state house?
Is it apolitical? Sort of a “Pigasus for President” for 2008? Does the blue mean that all of the Democrats are doodieheads? Is it a comment on the vitriol of modern elections?
More importantly, Me. Why do I even give two thoughts to all of the zany blips in human rationality that wander the streets and post on the internet? Is it the whole modern/scientific assumption that there must be an explanation for everything? Do I think that explaining a funny little mustached man in a crazy shirt holding a nonsensical sign will re-order the universe? Sadly, maybe.
Phinn, what was the number of that therapist?
Righteous Bubba said,
September 17, 2007 at 18:41
Poo Poo for President 2008. I don’t get it. So someone actually paid the money to have that printed so that Dave could brandish it proudly in front of the MA state house?
All must bow before my advanced photoshop skills. It must mean something that Dave holding Poo Poo for pres is not questioned.
Sadly, Cambridgeport said,
September 17, 2007 at 18:49
Jeezus, MCH, I think that we need a new word for simultaneously feeling nauseous and slightly relieved. This is the real gem:
Not so fast, Iraqi democracy. You think that your courts have jurisdiction over your “sovereign” country? Think again. The order of importance is:
1) The profit margins of American corporations
2) The security of the American people
3) The fundamental right of Iraqis to become Americans
4) Human rights, equal justice under law, and all that other precious Enlightenment shit that God gave those godless philosophes so that we could flush it for its own protection.
P.S. How is this not Colonialism 2.0?
ManOnBlog said,
September 17, 2007 at 18:49
Johnny Coelacanth!
Or maybe those exploding necklaces from “Wedlock” (aka “Deadlock”).
One of my personal faves due to the intersection of Rutger Hauer and Mimi (hubba hubba) Rodgers. And exploding necklaces, of course.
Sadly, Cambridgeport said,
September 17, 2007 at 18:50
Righteous Bubba: really, I don’t know what to believe anymore. Thank you for resolving that kink though, the order of the universe is restored.
Charles Giacometti said,
September 17, 2007 at 18:56
Marita said,…
I’d like to add that the shirt I’m wearing today looks absolutely stunning on me.
You tease! Post a pic!
Righteous Bubba said,
September 17, 2007 at 18:56
Thank you for resolving that kink though, the order of the universe is restored.
Dave may have unresolved kinks, who knows? The original was pointed out by the invaluable J above in the thread, revealing that he’s a
Poo PooRon Paul supporter-or-bumper-sticker-holder.Kevin said,
September 17, 2007 at 18:58
Howdy, my hippie friends! Mind if I infect this post? It’s the first one where Gavin used his real name instead of some pseudonym. Plus, it’s so enjoyable to watch him rant and rave about the fact that Ace totally owns him, with a capital p.
q: If Ace and Gavin got into a fight, who would win?
a: No one. Gavin runs away very fast.
g said,
September 17, 2007 at 19:08
Well, I’m absolutely fascinated. Here we were having our own private, mean-spirited conversation making fun of Ace and the gang, and along comes fair-minded citizien Phinn – who is quick to say he’s not One Of Those we’re mocking – to tell us how pathetic we are.
I guess he just happened to be walking by. Minding his own business. Couldn’t help but step in when he saw such injustice being done.
marc page said,
September 17, 2007 at 19:08
Kevin appears …
It’s not yet noon and already my day is complete.
g said,
September 17, 2007 at 19:09
Have some pie, marc.
Gavin M. said,
September 17, 2007 at 19:14
Um. Okay Kevin, what might one be misreading this time?
Sadly, Cambridgeport said,
September 17, 2007 at 19:29
Jealous, Kevin?
Phinn is getting a lot of replies today. Resident Troll is a highly coveted position here at Sadly, and it would be a shame to see you toppled so quickly.
Don’t worry, we are still annoyed by you. But really, you should work on a new schtick. Dirty Hippy + Crush on Gavin is getting tired.
Kevin said,
September 17, 2007 at 19:44
“marc page said,
Kevin appears …
It’s not yet noon and already my day is complete.”
Woohoo! Thanks for the words of encouragement, Mark. I got fired, so I have lots of free time this week. Well, not fired per se, but sent on vacation. Feels like the same thing. Personally, I hate it, but whatever. We’re going on a cruise from Italy to Greece next week. Wife’s idea, not mine. But the point is, I’ll be here all week! Aren’t you excited?
“Sadly, Cambridgeport said,
Jealous, Kevin?”
Heh. Not even slightly :). Anyone willing to verbally beat some sense into you guys is someone of which I’m a fan. Go Phinn!
Kevin said,
September 17, 2007 at 19:48
Gavin said:
“Um. Okay Kevin, what might one be misreading this time?”
I have no idea what you are misreading :(. But I can say it’s clearly a part of a pattern. Thoughts?
Gavin M. said,
September 17, 2007 at 19:50
You know, Lesbos is really nice. The food is great — everybody eats out all the time.
Fishbone McGonigle said,
September 17, 2007 at 19:52
I pay my mortgage with money I earned playing the drums. I’ve sold paintings for thousands of dollars. I take my girlfriend to Rome every year or so on music money. My life is better than yours, bitch.
That does sound like a pretty goddamn good life. Kudos to you, tb.
Sadly, Cambridgeport said,
September 17, 2007 at 20:05
Kevin –
Ah yes, you are here for a utilitarian purpose, to win converts and preach the Wingnut gospel. You don’t enjoy this company, but when you post insults on a left-wing humor blog, hardened Democrats repent in droves, so it is all worth it in the end.
You remind me of an interesting theological debate we had in my fundie youth.
Q: Is it ok for a Christian to go into a bar, IF he is only going in to win souls for the Lord?
A: Yes, but no tee-totaling Christian ever has or ever will go into a bar to win souls for the Lord. He either goes in to annoy people and make an idiot of himself, or he goes in for a drink.
So if you aren’t here for the fame and abuse, what brings you, Kev? Go, on, just one beer.
Doodle Bean said,
September 17, 2007 at 20:21
I’m pretty sure Dave’s posing in front of the Boston Massacre Monument on Tremont St. The Thaw memorial in front of the State House doesn’t have crowds and smoke on it.
Unless, of course, there is another bronze bas-relief in front of the State House…
Kathleen said,
September 17, 2007 at 20:26
I’m late to the thread, but man that was funny. It’s like an extended Freudian analysis.
Pals of Ace show up and it is instantly “pussy” this, “ladies” that. Gay jokes. “you all are so pathetic for wasting your time on this thread” gets posted multiple times.
I almost feel like it’s one long Ann Althouse performance art piece.
Kathleen said,
September 17, 2007 at 20:26
ps. Yearly, No is this funniest proposed name.
Kevin said,
September 17, 2007 at 20:30
See, this is where Gavin totally pisses me off. Most posts are inane, but then he throws out off the cuff statements out there that are actually quite funny. Just when I think liberals are devoid of humor, he tosses out a gem. Not hilarious, probably not original, but very funny.
Sorry for over-analyzing that statement. It was good and quite humorous. But it DID p*ss me off, since you ruined my thesis that Democrats aren’t funny.
Sad in Cambridge wrote:
“Ah yes, you are here for a utilitarian purpose, to win converts and preach the Wingnut gospel. You don’t enjoy this company, but when you post insults on a left-wing humor blog, hardened Democrats repent in droves, so it is all worth it in the end.”
Yup, that’s my plan. Not a very good one, huh :(.
First, I’m just pleased as heck that I remind a person of a debate! How many people can say that they’ve reminded someone of debating? I can :). ‘B’, I hardly count as a Christian (though I like the way they think), so I will indeed have that beer! Fried in trans-fats, if possible. Hydrogenated palm-kernel oil is my fave.
So if I’m not here for the fame and abuse, what brings me? Clearly it’s not for the fame, since I’ve hidden my website from your perusal (you could check it out if you wanted, but trust me, you don’t).
No, my goal is simple. It’s to help the confused to realize that liberalism is bad for the world because it makes would-be workers lazy, progressivism is not even SLIGHTLY interested in progress, and if there IS a devil, he runs the religion called Islam. If I can convince even one of you of these truths… well, then I’ve failed utterly. But if a BUNCH of you of these facts, then the whole world wins.
Complicated, yet simple, huh, sad guy in Cambridge?
PS – move to beantown. You can’t be sad there. Even this southern hick had fun there for five years. You could change your name to ‘Happy in Boston’!
mikey said,
September 17, 2007 at 20:31
Yearly, No is this funniest proposed name.
Better than “It’s a Sad world after all”?
mikey
Kevin said,
September 17, 2007 at 20:33
crud, I’m making tons of mistakes today!
“But if a BUNCH of you of these facts, then the whole world wins”
should be:
But if a BUNCH of you become aware of these facts, then the whole world wins.
Kathleen said,
September 17, 2007 at 20:33
That can be the tag line, mikey.
Yearly, No: it’s a sad world after all.
Kevin said,
September 17, 2007 at 20:34
I blame society! Or these Miller light’s. Either one. The point is that it’s not my fault!
Kevin said,
September 17, 2007 at 20:35
Here’s a tagline for mikey. Pie!!!
He loves the stuff.
tb said,
September 17, 2007 at 20:37
Thanks! I’m not rich, but I’m working. I react rather viscerally when some wingnut dildo acts like calling someone an artist is some kind of major slam, proof that they’re a loser.
Humor Me said,
September 17, 2007 at 20:39
any shiftless luddites find jesus through kevin today? or can we just declare him an utter failure and save time?
Dirty Hippie said,
September 17, 2007 at 20:44
Nuh-uh!
YOU’RE stupid!
Typical Republican said,
September 17, 2007 at 20:47
Nuh-uh!
You’re a loser! You went to art school and you smell!
I have a life! Look at the life I got! I go to BARS! I go to the beach! I make weighty comments on lefty snark blogs!
g said,
September 17, 2007 at 20:47
my goal is simple. It’s to help the confused to realize that liberalism is bad for the world
And I’m sure your success at your chosen profession mirrors the smashing success you’ve had with this goal.
Got suspended, huh? Did they let you clean out your desk, or did Security escort you out?
Kevin said,
September 17, 2007 at 20:53
Wait. It’s not? I’m pretty sure it is… Tell someone you ‘draw stuff for a living’. See what happens :)
Kevin said,
September 17, 2007 at 20:55
Hah! now THAT would be funny if it occurred. Did you not read the part where I said I’m not even a Christian?
Come to me, shiftless luddites!
Marita said,
September 17, 2007 at 20:56
I would have thought that the only things Kevin acknowledged as art were country music and paintings on velvet. Who knew he’d also include “drawing stuff”?
Kevin said,
September 17, 2007 at 20:58
Also, I’ve forsaken my position selling ethylene oxide for the prestigious position of drawing things! You name it, I’ll draw it!
Sorry tb, but expecting people to actually respect artists is just too funny not to poke fun at. Draw some anger or something to get over it :)
Kevin said,
September 17, 2007 at 21:02
Spoken like a doctor of sociology, Marita! C’mon, admit it. We all know your PhD is a scam. You’re a doctor of sociology, or some other worthless pseudo-science. Admit it so we can move on.
But, I would like a picture of dogs playing poker on black velvet. I’m from Louisiana for cripes sake! We love that stuff down here!
Friggin’ hippies.
Kevin said,
September 17, 2007 at 21:06
tb, let’s take a minute to respect the job of cleaning toilets. They’re not rich, but they’re working. They react rather viscerally when some wingnut ***** acts like calling someone a toilet cleaner is some kind of major slam, proof that they’re a loser.
So sorry, but I can’t help it! I’m an evil conservative. Apologies.
Humor Me said,
September 17, 2007 at 21:06
you’re barely able to draw attention to yourself.
I meant jesus in the modern sense, to include Brit Hume and Ace.
Not to encourage you Kev, but if not christian, what? Randian transhuman wannabe? Agnostic libertarian dickwad?
Marita said,
September 17, 2007 at 21:11
Ethylene oxide, huh, Kev? Probably won’t let you handle it once it’s been converted to ethylene glycol, given your known love for the flavor of Kool-Aid. Wouldn’t want you hurting yourself.
No really, we wouldn’t.
What?
tb said,
September 17, 2007 at 21:14
I see Kevin’s taking a breather from trying to suck his own dick again.
g said,
September 17, 2007 at 21:17
Was it embezzlement, Kevin? Or harassment? Or insubordination? What got you suspended?
Humor Me said,
September 17, 2007 at 21:22
the prussian blue t-shirt he kept wearing..
Kevin said,
September 17, 2007 at 21:27
“tb said,
I see Kevin’s taking a breather from trying to suck his own **** again.”
If only! Word to the wise: don’t trust yoga instructors that say you can learn to do that. $20,000 later, I found out the truth. It’s a scam!
G, it was a new rule that says you can’t carry over vacation days. If you don’t use them, you get extra pay in lieu of them, but the new prez frowns on you not taking them. Being a salesman, I take days off without informing them, so I’ve got 19 weeks built up :). We’re taking 3 weeks right now, but again, being a salesman, I’m still having to work a bit. To answer your question, no, I totally got away with the embezzlement, harassment, and insubordination. Also, I’ve got a ton of free samples! Sadly, they are tiny cannisters of ethylene oxide, but I’m hoping that will be vogue someday.
wordyeti said,
September 17, 2007 at 21:29
One of my personal faves due to the intersection of Rutger Hauer and Mimi (hubba hubba) Rodgers. And exploding necklaces, of course.
I’m guessing that you’ve got “Full Body Massage” somewhere in your Netflix queue … fans of Mimi have been known to give that film the Zapruder treatment (“Back and to the left … back and to the left…”). Still can’t figure out if the movie is a daring meta-art house mindfuck using exorbitant amounts of full frontal nudity to disguise the fact that you’re mostly listening to a fairly elevated existential conversation, or if it’s all just tripe, really, nothing more than overwritten blocks of self-indulgent pontificating to justify lots of boob shots.
Didn’t Deadlock also feature some snark from Joan Chen – who, for some reason was also in other low-budget & quirky films in the Hauer oeuvre, like “Blood of Heroes.” Guess they must’ve had the same agent or sumthin’.
Oh yeah – insert obligatory Durtee Hippee mumbling here. Now everyone stand back and let Kevin do his little victory dance over how very much more cleverer he is than the S,N! regulars. It makes him feel so much better.
Kevin said,
September 17, 2007 at 21:29
Hey, wasn’t this thread about showing Gavin to be a lame Ace of Spades wannabe? Shouldn’t we get back on topic?
g said,
September 17, 2007 at 21:30
Isn’t he cute, his delicate sensibilities prevent him from being able to type “dick”.
You must be one helluva salesman, Kevin. Your “people” skills are dynamite. Good thing you’re paid in addition to commission, you’d never make the mortgage.
Hippie Pie said,
September 17, 2007 at 21:45
Everybody wants some!
Kevin said,
September 17, 2007 at 21:48
“g said,
Isn’t he cute, his delicate sensibilities prevent him from being able to type “****”.”
YES he is!
Kevin said,
September 17, 2007 at 21:48
Also, I hear he’s quite the lover.
Sarcastro said,
September 17, 2007 at 21:50
But it DID p*ss me off, since you ruined my thesis that Democrats aren’t funny.
Your thesis ruined my thesis that wingnuts aren’t funny.
Look funny sure, but such absurdism in a written piece is surprising.
Being a salesman…
You need say no more.
Kevin said,
September 17, 2007 at 22:02
“But it DID p*ss me off, since you ruined my thesis that Democrats aren’t funny.
Your thesis ruined my thesis that wingnuts aren’t funny.”
Sarcasti, theses are not ruined by other unproven theses. What college did you go to?
Kevin said,
September 17, 2007 at 22:04
“You must be one helluva salesman, Kevin. Your “people” skills are dynamite. Good thing you’re paid in addition to commission, you’d never make the mortgage.”
I am indeed, Mr. G! I could sell shampoo to a hippie! Hand to God.
Herr Doktor Bimler said,
September 17, 2007 at 22:13
equivalent of a gay albino monkey fetish porn site.
Link, please?
Kevin said,
September 17, 2007 at 22:31
BTW, would you like to buy some shampoo? It is good for removing toxins… or whatever hippie crap you guys are buying into. It stops CO2!!!! buy some.
Kevin said,
September 17, 2007 at 22:33
Face facts. I’m mildly witty :).
Kevin said,
September 17, 2007 at 22:34
And Ace of Spades rocks.
Marita said,
September 17, 2007 at 22:35
Face facts. I’m
mwildlywshitty :).Fixed!
Johnny Coelacanth said,
September 17, 2007 at 22:38
“I see Kevin’s taking a breather from trying to suck his own dick again.”
I tried that when I was sixteen, didn’t work. Gave it the old college try though. Funny thing, I was a Reagan supporter at the time. It’s not a coincidence, I’m sure. Flail on, Kevin, flail on. May your hapless thrashing in the water attract a school of sharks.
Kevin said,
September 17, 2007 at 22:52
Wow! That’s one quote that no one can disagree with!
Kevin said,
September 17, 2007 at 22:54
“Johnny Coelacanth said,
“I see Kevin’s taking a breather from trying to suck his own **** again.””
Hey, Johnny, never give up! Don’t be a quitter, or people will start calling you a Democrat. Better to be called a weenie smoocher than one of those.
Johnny Coelacanth said,
September 17, 2007 at 22:58
“Hey, Johnny, never give up!”
If you’re going to make this about the differences between Democrats and Republicans, let me point out that I saw the endeavor was never going to work, so I quit. In this analogy, Republicans would just tell me to keep practicing for six more months, and see if any benchmarks had been reached.
As it was, I gave up and found somebody else to suck my dick (you might look into that), and thus was Democracy, whiskey and sexy preserved for future generations.
mikey said,
September 17, 2007 at 23:01
Stuff I’ve learned on the intert00bz, part 93:
Whenever a Sadly, No thread runs over 200 comments, one may assume that approximately 40% of said comments are kevin. Why he posts 3, 4, even 5 comments in a row is something we’ll never know or understand, but it certainly does run up the comment count.
Oh, and part 94:
Kevin does like him some Pie!
mikey
mdhatter said,
September 17, 2007 at 23:05
With that level of effort, I actually hope someone is paying him.
BigHank53 said,
September 17, 2007 at 23:10
Let’s face it, Kevin, you don’t really come here for the hunting, do you?
The great thing about sales: said,
September 17, 2007 at 23:11
high school dropouts need jobs too!
Dogstar said,
September 17, 2007 at 23:25
Hey, I have a shorter “Sadly, No!” thingie.
It goes like this:
“Sadl, N!”
Heh. I left out the “yo”.
If I left out the “nads”, it would be “Ly, O!”
tb said,
September 17, 2007 at 23:25
It’s a rite of passage, of sorts, but most of us quickly learned the limitations of our bodies at an early age. When, like Kevin, you’re bald, overweight and unattractive in your 40′s and still straining away it’s comically pathetic.
tb said,
September 17, 2007 at 23:38
It’s actually the perfect metaphor for the current state of American politics.
Hey, dogstar! How’s that Schulte paper holding up under scrutiny? Where were you when that thread was current anyway?
tb said,
September 17, 2007 at 23:44
Shit, he was here a minute ago. It’s like he vanished.
Kevin said,
September 17, 2007 at 23:58
You’re totally right though, tuberculosis. Ace DOES rock.
hutch1200 said,
September 18, 2007 at 0:08
You panzies were easy to spot. You were the only people to quickly get out of my way when I went back in after a smoke. Perhaps you were just being nice (doubtful), or you noticed the swithcblade on my hip. Maybe you noticed the hand made boots I brought back from Greece last month that holds my Bear skinner. Just an old habit, dragging this shit around, and hanging out in dive bars, self reliant redneck that I am. We don’t have all these classy places with people puking on thtemselves and others, like you’ve got in B-town. I asked Dave in Texas what he was carrying, and he looked me right in the eye and said “These pissants don’t know shit about bar fights, I don’t need anything for those clowns”. So yes, you were spotted, and were too pussified to use a cell cam. Sadly you asshats couldn’t scrape up the $13 dollars for a rat suit(appropriate). It didn’t end early, once everybody arrived we moved to the Sheraton lounge I believe. As far as tipping, I threw a hundred dollar bill on the bar at both venues, and gave the bartebder a $20 bill, with instructions not to take cash from anybody, ’til the $100 was gone. I had 3 diet cokes. So as far as being cheap, drunks and bad tippers, you even screwed up/lied/profiled us about that too.The topic of the evening was mostly busting each others’ asses’ and enjoying a little comraderie. No rally planning, no assination talk of opponents, or how we are being held down by forces beyound our control. Basically, none of the vitriol you tough guys snicker behind peoples backs. Good times, Good times. Of course you wouldn’t know what that is, unless you consider it to be tipping over wheelchairs with Bush-Cheney stickers on them.
Righteous Bubba said,
September 18, 2007 at 0:19
I asked Dave in Texas what he was carrying, and he looked me right in the eye and said “These pissants don’t know shit about bar fights, I don’t need anything for those clowns”.
This Dave in Texas?
FlipYrWhig said,
September 18, 2007 at 0:23
Wait, is that hutch1200 post a serious one or a parody?
Righteous Bubba said,
September 18, 2007 at 0:25
Who can tell? It was pretty awesome.
Dogstar said,
September 18, 2007 at 0:34
You guys crack me up. I wish this was a real-time chat line.
Which brings me to a question- how come none of the blogs (that I’m aware of, anyway) have an option for real-time, streaming conversations?
hutch1200 said,
September 18, 2007 at 0:39
Yes, that dave. Don’t let the bumkin look fool you. How do you think he waltzes right through airport? All I know is when you don’t see Dave for a few days/weeks, somebody important ends up dying. Best man to have next to you when the shit goes down.
a different brad said,
September 18, 2007 at 0:39
I’m sorry mikey, but I have to disagree.
Kevin Needs go walkies! lots. And lots, and lots. I’d recommend he get both his bladder and prostate checked out. That ain’t normal.
However, you’re correct that, like how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop, the world will never know what Kevin is saying.
GoatBoy said,
September 18, 2007 at 0:51
Aw, hutch tipped his hand in the second post?
For shame, parody troll. No pie!
M. Bouffant said,
September 18, 2007 at 0:57
I see hutch1200 (Does he keep his knickknacks in himself?) is just back from Greece, & Kevin is about to go. Get out the crowbars, there may be some separating to be done.
FlipYrWhig said,
September 18, 2007 at 0:59
I thought that those tales of bustin’ asses, unsheathed weapons, and fetish-y descriptions of Greek leather boots were a bit too good to be true.
hutch1200 said,
September 18, 2007 at 1:01
Thanx goat banger, but I get all the hair pie I want. I don’t tip hands. I shake hands with friends, and beat the shit out of those I want to. But enough of my anonymous manly shit. It really never solves/evolves into anything. I was just giving you the truth on what went down.
Spokane Moderate said,
September 18, 2007 at 1:02
I asked Dave in Texas what he was carrying, and he looked me right in the eye and said “These pissants don’t know shit about bar fights, I don’t need anything for those clowns”.
You were doing well until this line. Mr. Whipple the badass?
Oh, well… maybe next time.
hutch1200 said,
September 18, 2007 at 1:08
My old lady is Greek. We go every year. Fires there sucked. Good hand made boots are a bargain, even with the dollar down. Tell a good boot maker here that you want your right boot to hold a Titanium .357 and see how that works out for you, dipshit. Fetish-y leather. Doing a little self projection as to what you would do to treat yourself while on vacation there Flippy?
FlipYrWhig said,
September 18, 2007 at 1:08
But enough of my anonymous manly shit.
Waitaminit — is this Larry Craig?
hutch1200 said,
September 18, 2007 at 1:12
Ok, I’m getting my ass busted by an asshole who stalks men. Nuff said.
hutch1200 said,
September 18, 2007 at 1:14
I lost more brain cells in 15 minutes of being here than I did in 25 years of being a hardcore drunk. Later, perverts and losers.
Marita said,
September 18, 2007 at 1:22
I lost more brain cells in 15 minutes of being here than I did in 25 years of being a hardcore drunk. Later, perverts and losers.
Shane! Don’t go!
SHAAAAAAAAAAAANE!
mikey said,
September 18, 2007 at 1:28
Wow, hutch. You had knifes n’stuff? I thought in the tuff-guy manual it specifically says you’re not supposed to talk about your weapons. Or did I get it wrong? I’m still trying to learn to be a tuff guy like you…
mikey
Spokane Moderate said,
September 18, 2007 at 1:29
Shane! Don’t go!
SHAAAAAAAAAAAANE!
Bruce! Come back!
Bruuuuuuuce!!!
mikey said,
September 18, 2007 at 1:33
Oh, and somebody needs to tell Dave to cool it. We’ve already had Poo Poo for a President for six years. Maybe we should try something else in ’08.
Just sayin…
mikey
FlipYrWhig said,
September 18, 2007 at 1:41
Aw, hutch left before telling us where in Europe he gets his custom-made studded dog collars. For his Rottweiler, of course. He can’t help it that their necks just happen to be the same size.
Kathleen said,
September 18, 2007 at 1:55
You were the only people to quickly get out of my way when I went back in after a smoke.
I am POSITIVE it was because you looked all scary and not AT ALL because you smelled.
Kathleen said,
September 18, 2007 at 1:57
Maybe you noticed the hand made boots I brought back from Greece
this is just literally the funniest thing I have ever read in a rant about how manly the ranter is.
FlipYrWhig said,
September 18, 2007 at 2:20
Kathleen, that’s exactly the point where I started to think it *had* to be a parody. But apparently it’s not?!
tb said,
September 18, 2007 at 2:32
Oh holy crap for a second I thought this guy was serious. Awesome shtick, whoever you are.
Sadly, Cambridgeport said,
September 18, 2007 at 2:38
Kathleen, that’s exactly the point where I started to think it *had* to be a parody. But apparently it’s not?!
To lazily paraphrase Mark Twain, fiction has to be plausible, the facts do not.
Qetesh the Abyssinian said,
September 18, 2007 at 2:43
Phinn said,
If hiding outside a bar and SECRETLY snickering at a blogger (and then writing about it!) is your idea of a Saturday night, then I honestly and sincerely believe that you are in need of psychological help, although I suspect that part of the nature of your mental problems is that you do not realize that you need such help.
Then Marita said,
Alternatively, Gavin is trying to send some people into a frothing fit not as some grand theatrical struggle, but rather for some cheap laughs.
And then I laughed like a drain. Cheaply.
Qetesh the Abyssinian said,
September 18, 2007 at 2:44
This Hutch knobhead: is that as in Starsky and Hutch? Or as in Rabbit Hutch? Or maybe he can’t spell ‘hunch’?
Dave in Texas said,
September 18, 2007 at 2:45
One pic, you bravey bravesters.
Let’s see one pic from the paparrazzi of Sadly No.
Anyone? Got one?
Kevin said,
September 18, 2007 at 2:53
Heh. Now you’re getting picked on by real AoS people :). Too funny. Perhaps you should have stopped your girly whining when it was just me pointing it out? :)
Spokane Moderate said,
September 18, 2007 at 2:55
Hey! Mr. Whipple’s back!!
Dave, do you know Bruce? I miss him; if you could bring him back, I would appreciate it. Thanks in advance.
Kevin said,
September 18, 2007 at 3:14
Ace rocks! Also, Spokane Moderate, don’t squeeze the Charmin! But mostly, Ace rocks! Greatest man who ever lived? Well, I dunno about that. Wait, I changed my mind. Ace is the greatest person who ever lived! Ever!
He’s the father of most of my children, dang him. Once, in a bathroom, he hit the urinal and forced Dave in Texas to say, “O… M… G…” due to his monstrous… you get the idea. He makes ladies swoon. His shoulders are twelve feet wide, and he has 50 handmaidens about him at all times! Gavin once looked him in the eyes to try to understand his greatness. Gavin is blind now.
An entire hardware industry was created under his name, so cool is Ace. Ace isn’t the place. He’s everything. Domo Arigato, Ace!!!! But quit fathering my kids, huh?
mikey said,
September 18, 2007 at 3:28
Sorry, I don’t have any idea if he’s a parody or not, but hutch is a fake.
First, aficionados don’t use the term “Switchblade”. It has very bad, criminal, poor performance connotations. The term in common use is Auto Knife, Auto Opener or just “Auto”. Go ahead, look it up on microtech or benchmade. I’ll wait.
Second. There is NO “Titanium .357″. The frame and cylinder are investment cast in carefully alloyed stainless steel in order to have the internal strength to contain magnum chamber pressures. Titanium, as a very expensive, non ferrous strategic metal would not be in any way appropriate for magnum revolvers, and hutch, if he was who he claimed he was, would know that.
Sorry. Do your homework or get out….
mikey
Johnny Coelacanth said,
September 18, 2007 at 3:30
There’s no such thing as evolution, only a list of creatures that Ace decided not to kill.
J— said,
September 18, 2007 at 3:37
Dave in Texas yesterday:
Dave in Texas today:
Dave in Texas thinks he is sly; Dave in Texas thinks he is setting a trap.
Jillian said,
September 18, 2007 at 3:37
But mikey, his boots are just divine!
Gavin M. said,
September 18, 2007 at 3:48
Dave in Texas said,
September 18, 2007 at 3:49
uh, no, that’s retarded. I recognize pictures I’ve taken.
In case you’re not getting the whole thing, I meant lets see one picture taken from the Sadly No warriors who said they wanted to come take pictures (obsessed about it really, which is weird). Let’s see one. I want to enjoy the brave work of the proud (hiding in the corner) SN! correspondents.
Serve it up.
mikey said,
September 18, 2007 at 3:53
The charmin is cool.
A sheep, however. Yeah, that’s it, a little sheep! A sheep would capture the, um, personality of the subject.
Gnome Sane?
mikey
Kevin said,
September 18, 2007 at 3:55
WOWO! We can put images in comments? Img src=’s stuff? Or can only gavin do that? Very cool that he can still get around, being blind and all.
Also, Ace rocks.
Kevin said,
September 18, 2007 at 3:57
Ace of Spades didn’t invent freedom. He just allows it.
Kevin said,
September 18, 2007 at 4:00
There will never be any actual global warming. Ace stops it with his icy stare.
Kevin said,
September 18, 2007 at 4:00
Why does fruit ripen in the fall? Because Ace deigned it to be so.
Kevin said,
September 18, 2007 at 4:02
Ace once shot an enemy plane down by glancing in its general direction.
VRWC Agent said,
September 18, 2007 at 4:07
Perhaps the fantasy of a couple of SadlyNosians or other lefties dropping by gave him a hard-on.
That would fit nicely with our fetish for strangling hobos.
Don’t judge us.
Humor Me said,
September 18, 2007 at 4:12
Holy shit! You still in here Kevin? I cannot imagine what sort of uber-loser you must be to do this for two friggin days. Respek!
Kevin said,
September 18, 2007 at 4:27
Thanks, humor me! But I can’t take full credit. The God of everything (aka Ace of Spades) demands much from his followers. He once thought plants suffered from too much envy, so he made them all green to teach them a lesson.
Don’t tick off Ace. It’s not worth it.
Kip W said,
September 18, 2007 at 4:28
I think Kevin’s kidding about not being able to suck his own dick. Considering where he’s already coming from, all he has to do is straighten his spine a little and move his head a couple of inches in the easy direction and voila, he’s bobbing on Mister Floppy.
hutch1200 said,
September 18, 2007 at 4:32
Fuck you Milkey. I’ sitting here with my Taurus SG 750258. It’s a 2″, like you dick, ported barrell, 7 shot, .357 mag,that is clearly stamped Titanium. It weighs less than my chrome 5 shot snub nose. I’m old school, I call it a switchblade. Look it up on the Taurus website, you asshole. Bullshits on your face now. Enjoy your shit sandwich.
Humor Me said,
September 18, 2007 at 4:37
Gak. Once again, you have mistaken my nod to the fellow nosians as some sort of direct communication with you. Again, to clarify, you do not even rate reproach, I merely congratulate my fellow DFHL travelers for their spunky defense of the bare minimums of discourse. You, Kevin are the redneck guy with the Ted Nugent t-shirt who gets the shit kicked out of him by the band and some local sceners between sets in the men’s room. Isn’t it time for Dave to come in so we can stick his head in the toilet?
Kevin said,
September 18, 2007 at 4:39
“Kip W said,
I think Kevin’s kidding about not being able to suck his own ****. Considering where he’s already coming from, all he has to do is straighten his spine a little and move his head a couple of inches in the easy direction and voila, he’s bobbing on Mister Floppy.”
Sadly, no :(. Not being a liberal, I’m stuck with this spine. To be fair, I have indeed considered becoming a spineless progressive for the obvious benefit, but so far have been unable to follow through.
Also, Ace totally rocks.
Humor Me said,
September 18, 2007 at 4:39
um, Mikey, I’ll hold his arms if you’d like to punch him in the liver…
just sayin…
Kip W said,
September 18, 2007 at 4:40
But Kevin, how do you fit your head up your anus if your spine doesn’t curl up like a pig’s tail?
Jillian said,
September 18, 2007 at 4:41
It’s always so hysterical to run into these projection cases that so perfectly exemplify the stereotype we all get such a kick out of mocking in the first place. It’s like getting drunk and actually seeing a pink elephant or something.
We should start a “living wingnut stereotypes” lifebook, like birders use, to keep track of these sorts of sightings. I’ll add “crazy gun nut who uses his firearm as a stand-in for his penis and who talks waaaaaaaaay too much about all the play he’s supposedly getting” right next to Lord Spatula.
Anybody know if there’s any good archive of the Spatula smackdown anywhere online? That one still makes me laugh.
Simba B. said,
September 18, 2007 at 4:45
Who here wants to take bets that Hutch is 15 years old, sitting in his Mom’s basement, jerking it to either WoW or anime, and eating Cheetos and/or drinking Mountain Dew?
hutch1200 said,
September 18, 2007 at 4:45
So when’s your next get together? Will anybodies parent let a few friends over to the basement they now live in. I’ sorry, you call it a “ground level apartment”. Mikey, get me juicebox while you look it up. Yes Titanium is expensive. I spent more on ammo this year than you did helping mom out with the utilities you freeload downstairs.
cheshirecat said,
September 18, 2007 at 4:46
Oh, so this is the “infamous” Sadly, No thread mentioned at AOS. So, let me get this straight. the SN crowd decided to do a little reconnoiter at a silly blog-party, and then decided to post about it in order to make fun like a bunch of 4th graders.
Pretty pathetic, guys. And pretty sad, too.
No, I wasn’t at the party…I live to far away, but had I lived in the area, I probably would have popped around for a drink or two. Sounded like fun.
AOS Morons: Why are you bothering here? I mean, really. I think Ace said it was like arguing with lice. I tend to agree.
(No, don’t bother to respond to me, SN guys, I’m not going to be monitoring this thread or anything, I don’t care at all about this silly place.)
Kevin said,
September 18, 2007 at 4:48
Why do we have a Second Amendment? Ace of Spades. He stated that he would not support our fledgling Democracy without the right to have bare arms. This was of course misunderstood, but to America’s great benefit.
Kevin said,
September 18, 2007 at 4:49
“Kip W said,
But Kevin, how do you fit your head up your anus if your spine doesn’t curl up like a pig’s tail?”
I would tell you if I ever became a liberal. Hey, you’re one… why don’t YOU tell us?
Kip W said,
September 18, 2007 at 4:51
Okay, as a liberal, I can tell you from observation the answer is that your spine has to curl up like a pig’s tail, because you have your head up your ass right now.
Silly hippies put shampoo on their hair! You use the real thing.
Humor Me said,
September 18, 2007 at 4:52
I’ve been testing at a 5th grade level for years now!
I live to far away too, two, tu…..
Kevin said,
September 18, 2007 at 4:53
Remember that old addage: Guns don’t kill people. Ace kills people.
Kevin said,
September 18, 2007 at 4:54
“Silly hippies put shampoo on their hair!”
Everyone knows you’re lying now :(.
Kip W said,
September 18, 2007 at 4:57
Well, everyone knows *who’s* lying now, anyway.
hutch1200 said,
September 18, 2007 at 4:57
I’m over 40 now, thank you for your kindness. If you were there (as opposed to jerking in your moms basement, your thoughts, not mine) you would have definitely been able to spot me. I was the tall biker in the orange Polo. Different combo for me indeed. Strange and inclusive crowd on hand. Guess that’s not a priority here. No fucking sense of humor. I see no point in this blog at all. Not my kind of comedy at all. Feeble attempts, but no pie for anybody.
hutch1200 said,
September 18, 2007 at 5:02
I’m outta here with C-Cat. I’ve made meth that smelled better than this place. Let the vitriol carry on. Gonna miss you. Like a fucking kidney stone.
Simba B. said,
September 18, 2007 at 5:04
KEVIN. You win, we’re all dirty hippies, we smell, we don’t wash our hair, Stephen Lynch is the best ever, etc. etc.
Now some of us would like to breathe here.
Any bets on if this thread will overtake the 700-comment Dogstar thread?
It certainly overtook the low-grade radiation from the neo-Nazis in that one post…
Kevin said,
September 18, 2007 at 5:06
Mosed climbed Mt. Horeb to receive God’s nine commandments, but Ace of Spades showed up just in time and said, “Wait a sec, G. Let’s make it an even ten.”
That’s why murder is now considered a sin.
Simba B. said,
September 18, 2007 at 5:06
Excuse me hutch, but…AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
You’re still here.
We don’t buy it in the least.
Seriously, I demand a nickel for every time a troll says they are leaving, and then post a comment less than an hour later.
I would have more money than freakin’ GOD.
Kip W said,
September 18, 2007 at 5:06
There you go. Nice, proud exit. Tail held high. Breathing even. You don’t care, not you. Just try not to ruin it by stuttering or something.
Almost made it.
Righteous Bubba said,
September 18, 2007 at 5:06
Travels with Dave.
Kevin said,
September 18, 2007 at 5:08
“Simba B. said,
KEVIN. You win, we’re all dirty hippies, we smell, we don’t wash our hair, Stephen Lynch is the best ever, etc. etc.”
Not over yet! You still haven’t worshipped at the altar of the hoisted black flag!
I once told the Ace of Spades that my arm hurt. He fixed it. Now I only have one arm.
Kevin said,
September 18, 2007 at 5:09
Ace, with a wave of his hand, made Gavin call himself Jilian.
Righteous Bubba said,
September 18, 2007 at 5:10
I was the tall biker in the orange Polo.
I was the short cowboy in the tux.
Kevin said,
September 18, 2007 at 5:11
“Seriously, I demand a nickel for every time a troll says they are leaving, and then post a comment less than an hour later.”
I’m leaving!
Kevin said,
September 18, 2007 at 5:12
Back. Did you know that Allah was pinned by Ace once in a wrestling match? He wouldn’t let Allah up until he said Ace Akbar!
Kevin said,
September 18, 2007 at 5:23
Ace has done some stupid stuff too though. When he was designing the world, he made all reptiles, amphibians and birds taste like chicken. Not willing to admit this mistake, he denies it, saying ‘it’s not the meat, it’s the spices you are using!’
Kevin said,
September 18, 2007 at 5:30
When Ace decided to create 30 Rock, we all said, “No way Ace! There is no way you can make Alec Baldwin funny. He’s just too much of a liberal idiot.” As usual, Ace proved us wrong.
a different brad said,
September 18, 2007 at 5:33
Kev, just remember, most of us see something like this.
Kevin said,
September 18, 2007 at 5:39
Hah! What is that from, different brad?
Ace once accomplished a complete night of tantric sex in 45 seconds!
Kevin said,
September 18, 2007 at 5:40
Oh wait, that was me, and it was only complete for 50% of the people involved :(.
Kevin said,
September 18, 2007 at 5:49
Harsh words were probably exchanged, but if so, I slept through them.
Righteous Bubba said,
September 18, 2007 at 6:07
I don’t go for that New Kevin. I’m sticking with Kevin Classic.
Johnny Coelacanth said,
September 18, 2007 at 7:39
“I was the tall biker in the orange Polo.”
“I’ve made meth that smelled better than this place. ”
Only one of these statements is true, but both are embarrassing admissions.
Tall, polo-wearing biker owns a fancy handgun, calls his knife a “switchblade” and made meth at some point in his spotted career. Loo hoo, zuh her.
Kevin said,
September 18, 2007 at 8:07
Ace has the power to make Mikey stop loving pie! He won’t exercise it though (.
Kevin said,
September 18, 2007 at 8:07
Bubba, your fonts are wrong :(. Funny though. Mikey would love you.
lobbey said,
September 18, 2007 at 9:57
Fuck you Milkey. I’ sitting here with my Taurus SG 750258. It’s a 2?, like you dick, ported barrell, 7 shot, .357 mag,that is clearly stamped Titanium. It weighs less than my chrome 5 shot snub nose. I’m old school, I call it a switchblade. Look it up on the Taurus website, you asshole. Bullshits on your face now. Enjoy your shit sandwich.
Does anyone straight actually talk like that?
(No, don’t bother to respond to me, SN guys, I’m not going to be monitoring this thread or anything, I don’t care at all about this silly place.)
So what you doing over here, chesire cat?
I’m also calling fake kevin, either that, or you’ve been sniffing the Ethylene Glycol again!
S. Weasel said,
September 18, 2007 at 11:37
Titanium .357s. I almost bought me one. But I bought a great big o’ S&W nickel snubbie job instead. It’s a gun that just screams, “Holy shit, lady! I guess you really are armed!” I’m hoping that saves me ever having to pull the trigger.
I fire .38s through it, though. I’m a tad wussy for magnums. My delicate, shell-like hands…
Nullifidian said,
September 18, 2007 at 12:02
It’s like, I don’t know, not having a dick or something.
that’s pretty funny… to me.
Why is it I picture this guy going around to random women and saying, “Ha ha! I have a full three inches of throbbing man-meat and you don’t!”?
g said,
September 18, 2007 at 16:08
You know what’s the funniest thing posted above?
hutch1200 said:
As far as tipping, I threw a hundred dollar bill on the bar at both venues, and gave the bartebder a $20 bill, with instructions not to take cash from anybody, ’til the $100 was gone. I had 3 diet cokes.
Wow. I’m impressed. So, how long do you suppose a $100 lasts at a Back Bay hotel bar?
Johnny Coelacanth said,
September 18, 2007 at 16:17
“So, how long do you suppose a $100 lasts at a Back Bay hotel bar?”
At a guesstimate of $8 to $10 per drink, divided among the teeming dozen folks who attended AceFest, about ten minutes. I’m sure the bartender was impressed.
Sarcastro said,
September 18, 2007 at 16:56
Sarcasti, theses are not ruined by other unproven theses.
And jokes are not ruined when the butt of them fails to grasp them.
What college did you go to?
One that taught reading comprehension. And you?
Marita said,
September 18, 2007 at 17:06
At a guesstimate of $8 to $10 per drink, divided among the teeming dozen folks who attended AceFest, about ten minutes. I’m sure the bartender was impressed.
Yeah, no kidding. Given how economically depressed and low-rent the Back Bay is, I’m sure they called all the staff ’round to see it.
Personally I thought the funniest part was when hutch claimed to get all the “hair pie” he wants. Honestly. Has that term been used since the mid-80s?
g said,
September 18, 2007 at 17:11
I’m thinking the drinks are more like $14 or $16 at the Back Bay Sheraton. Unless you go with well drinks – which may be more Hutch’s style.
FlipYrWhig said,
September 18, 2007 at 18:09
Personally I thought the funniest part was when hutch claimed to get all the “hair pie” he wants.
When he and his “old lady” lace up the Greek boots and start pounding the Diet Cokes in seedy juke joints, it’s a prescription for edgy erotic mayhem.
mikey said,
September 18, 2007 at 23:23
Hee, hee, it’s really easy to get under these guys skin. They are just so tough and scary.
Cracks me up.
No, no, come back hutch and tell me how cool you are again. ‘Cause let’s face it, honey, if you don’t, who will?
Your “old lady”?
Pssshhhh…
mikey
Leonard Pierce said,
September 19, 2007 at 1:42
Oh, my God. I go away for a couple of days to get some freelancing done, and I miss out on all this great fake-ass tough guy talk! What’s the matter with you people? You can’t call, you can’t write?
Righteous Bubba said,
September 19, 2007 at 2:38
What’s the matter with you people? You can’t call, you can’t write?
I was busy picking my fucking teeth with a snake-leather Howitzer while my lady was polishing the skulls of our enemies with Magadascar vanilla.
Kathleen said,
September 19, 2007 at 3:23
hey guys, you try putting on hand made boots from Greece and walking around a mall!
Kip W said,
September 19, 2007 at 3:58
You know what those boots are made of, right? “Rich Corinthian Leather”!
Nullifidian said,
September 19, 2007 at 19:10
seriously. how badly do you feel? way down where it hurts?
Didn’t I see this line used in In the Company of Men?
The only thing more contemptible than sociopaths are the groupies who aspire to the sociopaths’ savoir-faire.
I think I might have just summarized the whole wingnut blogging phenomenon right there.
MzNicky said,
September 19, 2007 at 23:02
Dave in Texas is a RightWingSparkle regular. Just so you know.
Kevin said,
September 20, 2007 at 3:17
Ace makes American pasteurized processed cheese food product taste like Jarlsburg.
Kevin said,
September 20, 2007 at 3:18
“You know what those boots are made of, right? Rich Corinthian Leather!”
Don’t make leather out of rich Corinthians! Ace wouldn’t.
Kevin said,
September 20, 2007 at 3:21
Ace sometimes does lobotomies. Without asking!
Sadly, No! » Sadlypalooza ‘07: The Prefiguring said,
October 22, 2007 at 20:30
[...] seems unlikely that any of Ace’s people will try to tag along and cause trouble, especially since firemen would have to come and chop away [...]