Sep
16

Uncle Jimbo Goes To Washington




Posted at 15:03 by Tintin

Uncle JimboSometimes it is so easy to make fun of Uncle Jimbo at Blackfive that I almost feel sorry for him and feel a little guilty about ridiculing him. It’s almost the Internet version of clubbing baby seals. Except Uncle Jimbo is fully grown, so lets pull out the clubs, shall we?

Now you may not have known this, but Uncle Jimbo doesn’t just sit around in front of his computer all day pulling his pud. No, Uncle Jimbo occasionally actually does things in the real world. In fact, last week Uncle Jimbo filed a Federal Election Commission complaint against the New York Times, which meant that he had to forgo a second Taco Bell chimichanga at lunch to give himself enough time to whip up and mail a short letter to the FEC.

It starts off promisingly:

Office of General Counsel
Federal Election Commission
999 E Street, N.W.
Washington, D.C. 20463

Dear Folks,

“Folks.” That’s a nice touch. Personally I like to start complaint letters to federal agencies with a somewhat less formal salutation like “Yo Dogs” or “Hey Peeps.”

Sept. 10, 2007 the political advocacy group MoveOn.org ran an ad in the NY Times with the headline, Gen. Petraeus or Gen. Betray Us. … It has been reported that MoveOn paid $65,000 for the ad by ABC News … and the NY Post. …

The rate card price of such an ad on the NY Times political advocacy rate card is $181,692.

Well, I’ll be damned but it sure looks like Uncle Jimbo has the Gray Lady by the short hairs here. Now Uncle Jimbo moves in for the kill by revealing his extraordinary depth of expertise on FEC matters

I sold political advertising for Capital Newspapers in Madison, WI during the 2006 elections.

The media giant Capital Newspapers publishes such notable newspapers as the Baraboo News Republic, the Sauk Prairie Eagle and Wisconsin Dell Events. So Uncle Jimbo knows whereof he speaks. Or maybe not.

We were informed that there could be absolutely no discounts to the rate card prices for political or advocacy advertising based on federal law.

You were, were you? I wonder what the FEC actually says:

The Commission has permitted a number of the proposed transactions on the basis that the discount or rebate is made available in the ordinary course of business, and on the same terms and conditions (e.g., business volume), to the company’s other customers that are not political committees or organizations.

Advertising Age, which probably knows more about this matter than a guy who sold space for the Baraboo News Republic, has this to say about the whole affair:

But MoveOn bought its ad on a “standby” basis, under which it can ask for a day and placement in the paper but doesn’t get any guarantees. Standby pricing doesn’t appear on the Times rate card — but that kind of ad at a standby rate turns out to run about $65,000.

And that’s what the Giuliani campaign paid as well … for its counter ad today berating MoveOn … A campaign spokeswoman declined to say what the Giuliani campaign paid but said it was told by the newspaper that it was being charged the same standard rate MoveOn was charged.

So do you think Uncle Jimbo is firing up another FEC complaint about the Giuliani counter-ad? Or maybe he’s withdrawing his complaint about the MoveOn ad? Or perhaps he’s just going to pretend this never happened at all. Or is he going to barrel on straight ahead, oblivious to the facts, screaming about the perfidy of the New York Times and its illegal discounts?

You be the judge:

If that video of Uncle Jimbo and his friend made anyone else throw up a little in their mouths, I’m truly sorry. Really. I am.

51 Comments »

  1. Notorious P.A.T. said,

    September 16, 2007 at 15:13

    So do you think Uncle Jimbo is firing up another FEC complaint about the Giuliani counter-ad? Or may he’s withdrawing his complaint about the MoveOn ad?

    Hey, there’s always hope. Maybe he’ll find out about the Giuliani ad and make the reasonable conclusion. Maybe.

    *snicker snicker*

  2. Sporty said,

    September 16, 2007 at 15:21

    So you little worms are going after patriotic whistle-blowers now? I thought you supported the right of whistle-blowers to blow their whistles?

  3. Doodle Bean said,

    September 16, 2007 at 15:29

    “This that chicken fat”?!?!?!?! What’s next? “What, chicken butt”?

    Jimbo’s grasp of business principles is as good as his grasp of the law. He can’t get a discount and resell the ad space for a profit because the ad space is a non-transferable contract.

    What a maroon!

  4. RCP said,

    September 16, 2007 at 15:37

    If that video of Uncle Jimbo and his friend made anyone else throw up a little in their mouths, I’m truly sorry. Really. I am.

    There is no level of sorry that will make up for this.

  5. lavalady said,

    September 16, 2007 at 16:05

    Have at Uncle Jimbo all you like, but please leave your grubby mitts off Capital Newspapers. We (the progressives) LIKE local news, right? We can’t help it if our local Newspaper conglomerate has hired a boob to sell advertising.

    Capital Newspapers is home to one of the great progressive papers in the country, The Capital Times. John Nichols (author of “The Genius of Impeachment”) is an associate editor.

    It’s not perfect, but it’s a far sight better than many papers I’ve read. Stop being a snob (uh-huh-huh, small town papers are dumb, huh-huh), and focus on how stupid Jimbo is. ‘Kay?

  6. Clif said,

    September 16, 2007 at 16:13

    I wasn’t being critical of the editorial policies of Capital Newspapers but was only saying that they might not be the best place to learn about federal election law. And, of course, Baraboo News Republic is, undeniably, a silly sounding name for a newspaper.

  7. Mister DNA said,

    September 16, 2007 at 16:31

    Personally I like to start complaint letters to federal agencies with a somewhat less formal salutation like “Yo Dogs” or “Hey Peeps.”

    I’m rather partial to “Darling Fascist Bully Boy”.

  8. MrWonderful said,

    September 16, 2007 at 16:51

    Party on, Jimbo.

  9. Thomas said,

    September 16, 2007 at 17:10

    He’s got the ‘Uncle’ part down.

  10. F'in Librul said,

    September 16, 2007 at 18:36

    That video was even funerer than the keystong cops movie.

    Good God, what inanity.

  11. Righteous Bubba said,

    September 16, 2007 at 18:37

    So you little worms are going after patriotic whistle-blowers now?

    Tip: whistles don’t usually squirt weird goo after you blow them for a while.

  12. Spokane Moderate said,

    September 16, 2007 at 18:42

    “Uncle Jimbo” is the uncle with whom you and your cousins were not allowed to be alone in a room, for reasons your parents would explain to you “when you’re older.”

  13. zsa said,

    September 16, 2007 at 18:42

    Sporty, do you understand what the word whistleblower means?

    Unca Jimbo is a “blowhard”. That’s a different thing.

  14. Heydave said,

    September 16, 2007 at 18:53

    Maybe it’s just me, but those two clowns in the video looked like seriously stupid idiots that I wouldn’t trust to clean my dog’s ass. Small minds enjoying their small world.

  15. Clem said,

    September 16, 2007 at 19:10

    Winger in the bathroom
    please talk free
    The door is locked
    just you and me.
    Can I take you to my office
    that’s got glass tables
    You can watch yourself
    while you’re mouth breathing.

    Winger in the bathroom
    I just can’t stop it,
    Every Saturday I do some
    video blogging.
    Use some yokel as a
    sounding board
    You’re a twanging echo
    of my own duh self, self, self…

    [...]

    Winger in the bathroom
    let’s commence
    Hear my critique of
    MoveOn’s offense
    Paid money for an advert
    in the Times
    Free marketplace is
    so confusing

    Winger in the bathroom
    please talk free
    The door is locked
    just you and me.
    If you tap your foot and rub it ‘gainst
    my soiled Skechers
    You can play Petraeus
    and I’ll be catching.
    Winger in the bathroom
    Winger in the bathroom…

  16. Sporty said,

    September 16, 2007 at 19:10

    Righteous Bubba,

    I know what you are implying. I am NOT gay. You can find proof here.

  17. Uncle Mike said,

    September 16, 2007 at 19:12

    I wish the ghost of Joe Strummer would come back and kick those guys square in the nuts. Repeatedly. Until they swell up and burst.

  18. Roger Ailes said,

    September 16, 2007 at 19:27

    If James Lileks and Michael Reagan had a love child — and who’s to say they didn’t — it would look exactly like Uncle Bimbo.

  19. Tim said,

    September 16, 2007 at 20:32

    ya know I could only watch the smallest bit of this and had to bail. Then I cruise over to TBoggs’ for a palate cleanser and get re-directed to it !

    AAAAAAIEEEEEEE !

  20. Ruthie said,

    September 16, 2007 at 20:35

    “Lawyers being the disgusting scumbags they are….”–Uncle Jimbo

    …Can choose to charge turds like Uncle Jimbo double the going rate–for the rational BJR-compiant reason that people who think they know more than lawyers wind up creating more headaches for the people who represent them.

  21. Righteous Bubba said,

    September 16, 2007 at 20:40

    You can find proof here

    Fake, real, who’s to tell?

  22. Kevin's better nature said,

    September 16, 2007 at 21:00

    I thought you supported the right of whistle-blowers to blow their whistles?

    And the right of people to make fun of their tootling.

  23. g said,

    September 16, 2007 at 21:04

    Gah. I watched it for 2 minutes. Anyone who customarily refers to himself in the 3rd person is a dork.

  24. Redleg said,

    September 16, 2007 at 21:05

    Reminds me of a song:
    “I’m your wicked uncle Jimbo and you won’t see or hear me
    as I fiddle about, fiddle about.”

    My apologies to the Who.

  25. Lesley said,

    September 16, 2007 at 21:12

    I like when he says “funnerer” and then repeats it.

    The guy (gay lover?) sitting next to him is army-age.

  26. Lesley said,

    September 16, 2007 at 21:13

    Is anyone else irritated by men who make their voices gravelly and extra loud to emphasize their manliness?

  27. noen said,

    September 16, 2007 at 21:18

    “I know what you are implying. I am NOT gay. You can find proof here.”

    Around here we are actually smart enough to click on your name to check out your website. Kinda quiet out there isn’t it?

  28. neal peart said,

    September 16, 2007 at 21:52

    I am pretty fucking happy to be a Canadien right about now. Where does America breed these sorts of citizens?

  29. scarshapedstar said,

    September 16, 2007 at 22:02

    Somewhere, Joe Strummer’s casket is spinning furiously.

  30. Arlington Acid said,

    September 16, 2007 at 22:38

    Oooooooooo………….so he’s one of those “creepy” uncles?

    Man. That almost calls for a “unicorn chaser’.

  31. Legalize said,

    September 16, 2007 at 22:40

    “Or perhaps he’s just going to pretend this never happened at all. Or is he going to barrel on straight ahead, oblivious to the facts, screaming about the perfidy of the New York Times and its illegal discounts?”

    We all know that wingnuts possess the capacity to operate perfectly idiotically, while screaming AND ignoring at the same time.

  32. Peanutcat said,

    September 16, 2007 at 22:49

    Sporty said,

    September 16, 2007 at 15:21

    So you little worms are going after patriotic whistle-blowers now? I thought you supported the right of whistle-blowers to blow their whistles?

    You can’t blow your whistle if there’s nothing to blow your whistle about. But that’s never stopped you idiots, has it?

  33. The Disgruntled Chemist said,

    September 16, 2007 at 22:59

    Lesley said, September 16, 2007 at 21:13

    Is anyone else irritated by men who make their voices gravelly and extra loud to emphasize their manliness?

    A thousand times yes! There’s a commercial for Ford pickup trucks where the guy does that, and it drives me out of my mind. Hey asshole, that’s clearly not your real voice!

  34. The Dark Avenger said,

    September 17, 2007 at 0:07

    One of the newspapers listed is named after a city that doesn’t exist yet, that strangely seems appropriate here.

  35. Kip W said,

    September 17, 2007 at 0:16

    UJ quotes a price of $181k in his letter, and it becomes $186k in his video. By Monday, it might be up to $200k, and reach a quarter mil by the end of the week. I’m guessing his ass is a fertile place, and things grow whenever he puts them back in there for safe keeping.

  36. Kip W said,

    September 17, 2007 at 0:17

    Hitting ‘send’ made the video stop. I’ll take that as a sign that I don’t have to listen to any more of that snurking drivel. Thanks, God!

  37. Harvey Firestein said,

    September 17, 2007 at 0:30

    Is anyone else irritated by men who make their voices gravelly and extra loud to emphasize their manliness?

    Right, because having a loud, gravelly voice means you are so NOT gay.

  38. Herr Doktor Bimler said,

    September 17, 2007 at 0:37

    Or is he going to barrel on straight ahead, oblivious to the facts, screaming about the perfidy of the New York Times and its illegal discounts?

    I’m assuming that the point of the whole exercise is to convince other newspapers that accepting anti-war advocacy advertisements in the future is more trouble than it’s worth, because they will inevitably result in a similar furore. From this perspective, the untruth of the accusations against the NYT is a bonus… the furore would have no deterrent effect, if it had been preventable.

    I was going to add something here about the loss of credibility for this clown, and for CY, but the uncontrollable laughter made it too hard to type.

  39. Qetesh the Abyssinian said,

    September 17, 2007 at 2:15

    Their use of Radio Clash is a complete abomination, and I’m willing to give this bugger a good solid kick in the nadgers.

    OT, there’s a plethora of musical references here today: that one, the fine Mirror In The Bathroom remix, someone called Mr DNA, and a nod to Uncle Ernie. Whoo, we are doin’ so good here today, boys and girls!

    Mind you, all those references do tend to time-stamp us just a tad. Just sayin’.

  40. gene214 said,

    September 17, 2007 at 2:28

    Man, this is like a cross between “Wayne’s World” and a screen test for the hillbilly parts in “Deliverance”

  41. Spokane Moderate said,

    September 17, 2007 at 4:25

    If that video of Uncle Jimbo and his friend made anyone else throw up a little in their mouths, I’m truly sorry. Really. I am.

    What if I threw up A LOT in my mouth?

  42. Sporty said,

    September 17, 2007 at 5:26

    Kinda quiet out there isn’t it?

    Yeah. Charles Johnson told me that hamsters ran my website, so I was putting hay and Hamster Chow® in their box.

    For some reason, that made them thrash. But we’re back now, so keep on clicking!

  43. sj said,

    September 17, 2007 at 5:50

    Forget the FEC. This ad in all likelihood isn’t under their jurisdiction — it doesn’t concern an election and it probably wasn’t placed by the MoveOn PAC but by the MoveOn educational fund.

  44. Notorious P.A.T. said,

    September 17, 2007 at 6:45

    Forget the FEC. This ad in all likelihood isn’t under their jurisdiction — it doesn’t concern an election

    Oh yeah, there is that too, lol. Wish I’d realized that.

  45. huxley said,

    September 17, 2007 at 16:11

    I seem to remember that sporty’s one the General’s little soldiers … any whistleblowing is occuring in a purely Christian, strictly heterosexual way.

  46. David Gaffney said,

    September 17, 2007 at 19:26

    Actually it was P.T. Barnum that said,” there is a sucker born every minute”

  47. Biff Jablonsky said,

    September 18, 2007 at 0:47

    Uncle Jimbo, your truly are a complete idiot. Well, done, you’ve reached the pinnacle of your ilk.

  48. jj said,

    September 18, 2007 at 3:55

    Hey congrats to those two. They just made it to the top of my list of those who should win an all expenses paid trip to the Iraq “front lines” for 15 months.

  49. MarktheSpark said,

    September 18, 2007 at 6:24

    These dipshits make me ashamed to be a white man. Why do they open w/ the Clash, a punk anarchist band?

  50. Kip W said,

    September 20, 2007 at 0:39

    Because the ones who think like Uncle Jimbo are too lame to bother with. Even he knows that, though he won’t look in his soul and figure out what it means.

  51. TBogg » Fat stupid and glib is no way to go through life said,

    October 11, 2009 at 23:48

    [...] a bonus note (regarding the picture above featuring Jonah with Uncle Jimbo) perhaps Jimbo might want to consider how  pathetic and painfully sad it is to watch a couple of [...]

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