Rumor has it the song has already been recorded and will be released later tonight. That is a false rumor, if, in fact, the fact that there is such a rumor, is not, in fact, fact, but rumor.

No, I’ve merely started to pen the parody. It’s a take on George Michael’s not so classic hit from the 80s, I Want Your Sex, and it will offer Senator Larry Craig the defense he’s been so desperately needing to save face and to clear his name in the embarrassing scandle he now finds himself the subject of.

Stay tuned for more information. Here’s a sneak preview for those that are looking through this blog stall:

I Want Your Stall:

parody lyrics words by Dr BLT

they’re gonna say I’m guilty

of somethin’ rather bad

but all I want is somethin’

that I never had

I know that I’m not handicapped

but I need the extra space

that damned stall’s always taken

so I cram into this place

chorus:

I want your stall

mine is too small

I want your stall

you know I’m clastrophobic

afraid of space too small

so I will do most anything to

get into your stall

so don’t you get perverted

and think I’m out for sex

my stall is like a single home

and yours, a grand duplex

I want your stall

mine is too small

I want your stall

mine is too small…

I swear it’s not what it seems

I tell you no lies

I don’t need no Bible

just look in my eyes

the walls in these stalls

keep on

closin’ in on me

it ain’t nothin’ kinky

so please let me be

I want your stall

mine is too small

I want your stall

I want your stall

Craig: Officer, I answered your question. I answered the darned… I’m cooperatin’ here!

Officer: Sir, you have no call to get snippy with me, I’m just doing my job here.

Craig: I’m… I’m not arguing here! I’m cooperating. So there’s no need to… we’re doin’ all we can here.

I’d heard he said there was a piece of paper, but I assumed he was gonna claim it was something that fell out of his briefcase or whatever.

Gentemen, ladies, I put the questions to you directly: Have you ever used a public toilet?

(I will assume the answer here is “yes”)

Have you ever seen a piece of toilet paper on the floor near said public toilet?

(I will assume the answer here too is “yes”)

Have you ever been tempted even in the slightest to PICK UP THAT PIECE OF TOILET PAPER?

(I make no assumptions here. I simply rest my case.)

Well, it’s not like there are more important things police could be doing, like bearing down on unsolved murders or finding missing children or whatever.

And why is Homer Simpson speaking with a funny accent and wearing a wig?

mikey

Something like that, anyway.

I put my foot upon your foot
When I root, you root, we root

Yesterday it’s Boston, today it’s Genesis.

Tomorrow you’ll need to find a way to work King Crimson into a comment.

mikey

Yeah, this is a tough one. Because when I’m taking a crap in a public restroom, I don’t really pay attention to my feet. They’re typically floppin around down there, bumping other people, making new friends. I can’t really imagine why you might be sort of withdrawn under those circumstances. Hell, everybodys pretty much takin care of their business, it’s a great opportunity to chat, right?

mikey

depends…Craig might also enjoy what’s known in the biz as a “golden shower.”

It must be hell being a police officer these days…I mean, imagine getting up in the morning knowing you’re going to be spending your day in bathroom stalls playing footsie entrapment.