Aug
30
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Nono! The Code for THAT Is A Wide Stance And TWO Foot-Bumps!
From the Larry Craig arrest tape:
Craig: “I sit down, um, to go to the bathroom and ah, you said our feet bumped. I believe they did, ah, because I reached down and scooted over and um, the next thing I knew, under the bathroom divider comes a card that says Police. Now, um, (sigh) that’s about as far as I can take it, I don’t know of anything else. Ah, your foot came toward mine, mine came towards yours, was that natural? I don’t know. Did we bump? Yes. I think we did. You said so. I don’t disagree with that.”
Sergeant: “Okay. I don’t want to get into a pissing match here.”
Indeed not! Then again, who doesn’t love a challenge?
Matt Ortega » Senator Larry Craig’s (R-Idaho) Arrest Tape said,
August 31, 2007 at 0:13
[...] From the guys at Sadly, No!: [...]
TRex said,
August 31, 2007 at 0:16
This story just keeps on giving, doesn’t it?
Thank you, Senator Craig.
lesley said,
August 31, 2007 at 0:24
Sergeant: “Okay. I don’t want to get into a pissing match here.”
depends…Craig might also enjoy what’s known in the biz as a “golden shower.”
It must be hell being a police officer these days…I mean, imagine getting up in the morning knowing you’re going to be spending your day in bathroom stalls playing footsie entrapment.
lesley said,
August 31, 2007 at 0:34
by the by…Little Britain anticipated this silly stuff eons ago (or maybe some British MP got caught in a similar predicament) and concocted a sweet sketch… courtesy of C&L. (Love the dutiful wife)
Genesis said,
August 31, 2007 at 0:36
Ah, your foot came toward mine, mine came towards yours, was that natural? I don’t know.
Yeah, this is a tough one. Because when I’m taking a crap in a public restroom, I don’t really pay attention to my feet. They’re typically floppin around down there, bumping other people, making new friends. I can’t really imagine why you might be sort of withdrawn under those circumstances. Hell, everybodys pretty much takin care of their business, it’s a great opportunity to chat, right?
mikey
mikey said,
August 31, 2007 at 0:38
See? Did it again. I suck at that whole name-changing thing…
mikey
objectively pro- said,
August 31, 2007 at 1:30
See? Did it again.
Yesterday it’s Boston, today it’s Genesis.
Tomorrow you’ll need to find a way to work King Crimson into a comment.
King Crimson said,
August 31, 2007 at 2:10
Did somebody call me?
RandomObserver said,
August 31, 2007 at 2:11
The tape is funny – at one point the cop says “Embarrassing – no wonder we’re going down the tubes.” “I mean people vote for you.” Ha.
J— said,
August 31, 2007 at 2:16
A little Freak Nasty for the distinguished Senator from Idaho:
I put my foot upon your foot
When I root, you root, we root
LA Confidential Pantload said,
August 31, 2007 at 2:23
“….you do the Hokey Pokey and you turn it all about….”
Something like that, anyway.
Gentle Giant said,
August 31, 2007 at 2:32
Hey! I’m feeling left out! And what about Curved Air and Caravan and Camel and…
mikey said,
August 31, 2007 at 3:12
Nope, GG, not corporate enough. Go get a Major Label Contract…
mikey
Some Guy said,
August 31, 2007 at 3:56
I must say, I’m not usually one for fart gags, but that is some mighty fine harmony they got there.
SamFromUtah said,
August 31, 2007 at 5:11
I’m not usually one for Family Guy, but this is probably the funniest thing that’s ever been on that show.
Notorious P.A.T. said,
August 31, 2007 at 6:14
imagine getting up in the morning knowing you’re going to be spending your day in bathroom stalls playing footsie entrapment
Well, it’s not like there are more important things police could be doing, like bearing down on unsolved murders or finding missing children or whatever.
And why is Homer Simpson speaking with a funny accent and wearing a wig?
forked tongue said,
August 31, 2007 at 6:33
The best part o’ that tape was where he said the reason his hand when down below the partition was because there was a piece of toilet paper on the floor that he wanted to pick up.
I’d heard he said there was a piece of paper, but I assumed he was gonna claim it was something that fell out of his briefcase or whatever.
Gentemen, ladies, I put the questions to you directly: Have you ever used a public toilet?
(I will assume the answer here is “yes”)
Have you ever seen a piece of toilet paper on the floor near said public toilet?
(I will assume the answer here too is “yes”)
Have you ever been tempted even in the slightest to PICK UP THAT PIECE OF TOILET PAPER?
(I make no assumptions here. I simply rest my case.)
M. Bouffant said,
August 31, 2007 at 7:25
Only if it’s green & has the face of a dead president or Ben Franklin or Al Hamilton on it. You can wash ‘em, you know.
Paddy Mac said,
August 31, 2007 at 7:58
This entire episode gives an entirely new — and entirely unwanted — meaning to the term, “bathroom humor.”
evilchemistry said,
August 31, 2007 at 22:30
Fargo, revisited.
Craig: Officer, I answered your question. I answered the darned… I’m cooperatin’ here!
Officer: Sir, you have no call to get snippy with me, I’m just doing my job here.
Craig: I’m… I’m not arguing here! I’m cooperating. So there’s no need to… we’re doin’ all we can here.
Dr BLT said,
September 1, 2007 at 1:22
I just stopped by to say hi, and to drop off a sneak preview of my George Michael, I Want Your Stall:
Rumor has it the song has already been recorded and will be released later tonight. That is a false rumor, if, in fact, the fact that there is such a rumor, is not, in fact, fact, but rumor.
No, I’ve merely started to pen the parody. It’s a take on George Michael’s not so classic hit from the 80s, I Want Your Sex, and it will offer Senator Larry Craig the defense he’s been so desperately needing to save face and to clear his name in the embarrassing scandle he now finds himself the subject of.
Stay tuned for more information. Here’s a sneak preview for those that are looking through this blog stall:
I Want Your Stall:
parody lyrics words by Dr BLT
they’re gonna say I’m guilty
of somethin’ rather bad
but all I want is somethin’
that I never had
I know that I’m not handicapped
but I need the extra space
that damned stall’s always taken
so I cram into this place
chorus:
I want your stall
mine is too small
I want your stall
you know I’m clastrophobic
afraid of space too small
so I will do most anything to
get into your stall
so don’t you get perverted
and think I’m out for sex
my stall is like a single home
and yours, a grand duplex
I want your stall
mine is too small
I want your stall
mine is too small…
I swear it’s not what it seems
I tell you no lies
I don’t need no Bible
just look in my eyes
the walls in these stalls
keep on
closin’ in on me
it ain’t nothin’ kinky
so please let me be
I want your stall
mine is too small
I want your stall
I want your stall
Dr BLT said,
September 1, 2007 at 1:24
Correction: That first line should have read my George Michael Parody, I Want Your Stall.