Aug
27

Accountability Marches On




Posted at 19:00 by Gavin M.

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47 Comments »

  1. mikey said,

    August 27, 2007 at 19:04

    Jesus christ in a hot air balloon, that chertoff is one scary lookin dood.

    He shows up at my door, I’m just gonna go quietly…

    mikey

  2. Righteous Bubba said,

    August 27, 2007 at 19:07

    Leaving lepidoptera – please, don’t touch the display,
    little boy, aha cute!

    Moving to the next aisle we have
    arachnida, the spiders, our.. finest collection.

    This friendly little devil is the heptothilidi,
    unfortunately harmless. Next to him, the nasty licosa
    raptoria, his tiny fangs cause creeping ulcerations of
    the skin *laugh*. And here, my prize, the Black
    Widow. Isn’t she lovely?.. and so deadly.

    Her kiss is
    fifteen times as poisonous as that of the rattlesnake.
    You see her venom is highly neurotoxic, which is to say
    that it attacks the central nervous system causing
    intense pain, profuse sweating, difficulty in
    breathing, loss of consciousness, violent convulsions
    and, finally.. death.

    You know what I think I love the
    most about her is her inborn need to dominate,
    possess. In fact, immediately after the consummation
    of her marriage to the smaller and weaker male of the
    species she kills and eats him – *laugh* oh, she is
    delicious.. and I hope he was!

    Such power and dignity
    - unhampered by sentiment. If I may put forward a
    slice of personal philosophy, I feel that man has ruled
    this world as a stumbling dimented child-king long
    enough! And as his empire crumbles, my precious Black
    Widow shall rise as his most fitting successor!

  3. thelogos said,

    August 27, 2007 at 19:11

    Looking at those first two, I can feel the man-love in the air. Perhaps it was just too much for Gonzo, being so close to his Prince but yet unable to act on their love.

  4. pine nut said,

    August 27, 2007 at 19:15

    Damn, Chertoff is gonna scare the little kiddies at the DOJ with that skeezy mug of his.

  5. Legalize said,

    August 27, 2007 at 19:16

    Liberal LIES. Those pictures were CLEARLY PHOTOSHOPPED!!! Curt at Flopping Aces has the scoop, and totally non-tortured analysis on how because Bush did not turn Abu Al Gonzales into St. Michael Chertoff, Gonzales never even lied to Congress or ever did anything wrong. In fact, these fauxtography lies also prove that the surge is working!

    I hate liberal liars/

  6. Some Guy said,

    August 27, 2007 at 19:30

    Well, hey, maybe if Allawi can’t land his old job….

  7. Righteous Bubba said,

    August 27, 2007 at 19:37

    I nominate Ann Coulter. She’ll prove that it CAN be worse.

  8. lesley said,

    August 27, 2007 at 19:39

    Yay! It’s our homeland security man. He did such a great job with Brownie making Katrina a bigger disaster. Bigger is gooder, no?

  9. El Cid said,

    August 27, 2007 at 19:40

    Hey, maybe Mike Brown can take over at Homeland Security!

  10. L.S./M.F.T. said,

    August 27, 2007 at 19:43

    Oy! All that’s missing in that first photo is a tile wall for a background and you’d get the full effect of the swordplay this picture presently only hints at. And one of them clutching a $20.00-bill in his teeth, to complete the,”scene”…

  11. lesley said,

    August 27, 2007 at 19:45

    um, shouldn’t Bushie’s hand be petting Chertoff’s baldness?

  12. Gary Ruppert said,

    August 27, 2007 at 19:46

    Chertoff would make an excellent Attorney General. Hopefully the liberals won’t obstruct his nomination.

    With the news of another Democrat fleeing (John Kennedy in Louisiana), that’s another Senate seat that the GOP will win.

    Strange how Sonny Perdue gets at least a dozen Democrats to leave the Democrat Party, but that’s not news.

    But Kathleen Sebelius is hailed as some mastermind for getting 3 Republicans to switch.

    Granted, Sebelius won because she hid her liberalism. There isn’t one example of a liberal Democrat being honest about his positions in a red state and winning.

    Conservative Republicans win in blue states by being honest all the time. Such as Rick Santorum, Tim Pawlenty, and Don Carcieri.

    But Liberal Democrats just can’t win by admitting that they truely favor aborton on demand, a total ban on private firearm ownership, surrender in the War on Terror, higher taxes, and gay marriage.

  13. stogoe said,

    August 27, 2007 at 19:51

    Looking at those first two, I can feel the man-love in the air. Perhaps it was just too much for Gonzo, being so close to his Prince but yet unable to act on their love.

    Obviously, Chimperor had already been sated by Jeff Gannon and Karl Rove’s two-man double team, and was too exhausted to even perform the ceremonial cock-slap on his most favorite Mesikun, let alone re-imagine the Riding of Gonzo’s Ass by Senate Democrats into something wholly unfit for C-Span.

  14. a different brad said,

    August 27, 2007 at 19:56

    Slacktivist wins for best line today.
    “If Attorney General Alberto Gonzales says he resigns, can we believe him?”
    Teh funny.

  15. Some Guy said,

    August 27, 2007 at 19:58

    Fake Gary is just trying to hard. Take a breather; you can’t force the wingnut. It has to come from the soul.

  16. J— said,

    August 27, 2007 at 20:01

    Bush’s laser beams remind me of William Steig’s “Shrek!

  17. Smotes Durston said,

    August 27, 2007 at 20:03

    That Chertoff photo bears an uncomfortable resemblance to the Gentlemen, the scariest freakin’ monsters evah on Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

  18. Smiling Mortician said,

    August 27, 2007 at 20:06

    But Liberal Democrats just can’t win by admitting that they truely favor aborton on demand, a total ban on private firearm ownership, surrender in the War on Terror, higher taxes, and gay marriage.

    Personally, I’m voting for the candidate who stands for gayness on demand, a total ban on the war on terror, surrender on private firearm ownership, higher abortions, and taxed . . . uh . . . marriage, I guess. But Gary was close.

  19. Oh, FTLOG said,

    August 27, 2007 at 20:09

    these guys are just like buggers….ya think you’ve flicked ‘em away, but they’re not really gone….just stuck to another finger.

    they. never. leave.

  20. Johnny Coelacanth said,

    August 27, 2007 at 20:12

    Thanks for the Vincent Price / Alice Cooper reference, RB. The words he speaks are true.

  21. Bill in OH said,

    August 27, 2007 at 20:18

    Chertoff reminds me of Taggart, the character Matt Freuer plays on “Eureka”

    http://www.scifi.com/eureka/cast/jim/

  22. Jake H. said,

    August 27, 2007 at 20:18

    So the Washington Post has decided that Chuck Colson is fit to lecture me on morality. Will Gonzo have to wait several decades, or can we just ordain him now?

  23. stryx said,

    August 27, 2007 at 20:19

    The New Adventures series sees Skeletor with a new costume, an armored chest, cybernetic implants and a pink cape. [link]

    Now we will be prosecuted based on the soundness of Chertoff’s digestion. He and Bush seem to share a fondness for using their intestines for decision making purposes.

    I can’t wait.

  24. stryx said,

    August 27, 2007 at 20:24

    And ThinkProgress has the best Chertoff photo ever:
    http://thinkprogress.org/2007/08/27/chertoff-incompetence/

  25. Legalize said,

    August 27, 2007 at 20:25

    I hope we get an AG who outlaws Christmas, like we liberals have been fighting to do for decades, and all non-gay marriages. In fact, everyone knows that the Constitution says that it is a crime for women to not have abortions, and they should be administered in the public schools. Finally, as a secularist, I hope the new AG unilaterally surrenders to the Islamocommies and helps institute Shariia law (after the Christians and Jews are all beheaded of course).

  26. BigHank53 said,

    August 27, 2007 at 20:30

    I dunno, it might be interesting to have an actual Dementor running the Justice Department for a while.

  27. Some Guy said,

    August 27, 2007 at 20:35

    “In fact, everyone knows that the Constitution says that it is a crime for women to not have abortions, and they should be administered in the public elementary schools.”

    Fixed.

  28. Michael Chertoff said,

    August 27, 2007 at 21:16

    I will subpoena the blood of your virgins.

  29. wordyeti said,

    August 27, 2007 at 21:40

    Look at the bright side – with Gonzo out, the Senate will be able to tee off on the eventual nominee (I’m not convinced that Chertoff wants to sit in the Hot Seat and face questions about just whatinhell he’s been doing over at Homeland Security) and see if they can sweat his nuts enough to actually open some of the contempt proceedings against various other Bush admin officials.

    He won’t of course. But his refusal will be an “event” that the short-attention-span TV weasels can focus on, and it will tangle the Bushies up in enough attention-distracting muddle that it might take a few clock cycles away from their ongoing efforts to turn the U.S. into a contemptible banana republic/oligarchy/slave state.

    I wonder if Gonzo will ever dare to travel internationally … his name on the “torture memos” could be the sort of thing that would lead to him winding up in leg irons at The Hague, for being a sort of round-faced Eichmann. Not the main bad guy, but certainly one of the chief enablers…

  30. Legalize said,

    August 27, 2007 at 21:50

    One of life’s little pleasures is knowing that Jay Baybee and John Yoo can not travel abroad without fearing arrest. Unfortunately, however, this means that they just stay here and fuck with us.

  31. stogoe said,

    August 27, 2007 at 22:03

    I wonder if Gonzo will ever dare to travel internationally … his name on the “torture memos” could be the sort of thing that would lead to him winding up in leg irons at The Hague,

    Have you been wiretapping my fondest dreams, wordyeti? And can I see the warrant?

  32. thelogos said,

    August 27, 2007 at 22:24

    I nominate Judge Roy Moore to the post.

  33. fardels bear said,

    August 27, 2007 at 22:33

    Righteous Bubba:

    These words he speaks are true
    We’re all humanary stew
    If we don’t pledge allegiance to
    The Black Widow

  34. norbizness said,

    August 27, 2007 at 22:40

    For a minute, it looked like he was lobotomizing Alberto, like the Justice Lords Superman did to Doomsday. But then again, what would be the point of that on a purebred sycophant like Al?

  35. Uncle Mike said,

    August 27, 2007 at 22:52

    I was soooooo hoping the third picture would have Gonzo’s head exploding a la “Scanners.”

  36. Nimrod Gently said,

    August 27, 2007 at 23:11

    PREPARE FOR THE COMING OF ATTORNEY GENERAL SKELETOR

  37. Righteous Bubba said,

    August 27, 2007 at 23:27

    The question of Skeletor’s head has not yet been settled.

  38. AnneLaurie said,

    August 28, 2007 at 0:06

    I wonder if Gonzo will ever dare to travel internationally …

    All the way to Paraguay, on the Bushs’ private escape plane. As Dubya said Sunday morning: “Hey Fredo, them virgin mojitos ain’t gunna serve *thimselfs, y’know!”

  39. Trilateral Chairman said,

    August 28, 2007 at 1:19

    Oh, God. Robert “Chinstrap” Bork has just posted a mind-bogglingly delusional article on National Review Online. There’s quite a lot to comment on, but my favorite quotation is this:

    “[Former AG] Richardson, though a highly regarded veteran of several Cabinet posts, was required not only to promise a special prosecutor, but to name his candidate and to draft a charter satisfactory to the Judiciary Committee, guaranteeing the man’s independence. Though the man named, Archibald Cox, performed well….”

    I just don’t know what to say.

  40. DEMIZE! said,

    August 28, 2007 at 1:53

    Great,now we have Skeletor as AG.My head hurts…

  41. DEMIZE! said,

    August 28, 2007 at 1:57

    “But Liberal Democrats just can’t win by admitting that they truely favor aborton on demand, a total ban on private firearm ownership, surrender in the War on Terror, higher taxes, and gay marriage.” I support the war but hate the troops if that makes yeah feel any better.My head hurts…

  42. DEMIZE! said,

    August 28, 2007 at 2:01

    Damn Nimrod you beat me to it.Curses!

  43. Snorghagen said,

    August 28, 2007 at 5:25

    I hope the new AG unilaterally surrenders to the Islamocommies and helps institute Shariia law (after the Christians and Jews are all beheaded of course).

    Imposing Sharia is all well and good, but only if it doesn’t interfere with the mandatory LSD distributions and all-night bestiality festivals that are an essential part of my Maoist political agenda.

  44. DEMIZE! said,

    August 28, 2007 at 7:47

    I feel a cultural revolution coming on.Oh,no that was just my heartburn.Sorry.

  45. Ruthie said,

    August 28, 2007 at 11:43

    I wonder if Gonzo will ever dare to travel internationally … his name on the “torture memos” could be the sort of thing that would lead to him winding up in leg irons at The Hague….

    Forget the torture memos. It would do Gonzo a world of good to experience one of those public, not-quite-body-cavity searches performed by the TSA.

  46. Duke Menaphon said,

    August 28, 2007 at 13:06

    When does Carol Merrill unveil the Medal of Freedom?

  47. Smart Remarks » Blog Archive » Now you see him… said,

    August 30, 2007 at 2:46

    [...] Hilarious. Share and Enjoy: These icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and discover new web pages. [...]

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