Comments on: Bear And Puma Drive Continues (Send More Bears And Pumas!)

By: Saddygagphymn

Saddygagphymn — Sat, 16 Aug 2008 01:59:06 +0000

I’m new here, just wanted to say hello and introduce myself.

By: Sadly, No! » Freedom’s just another word for threatening to kill women who don’t wear veils

Sun, 06 Apr 2008 15:35:38 +0000

[...] least the bears and pumas wouldn’t force women to wear veils, that’s all I’ma [...]

By: Sadly, No! » Credit where she be due

Sadly, No! » Credit where she be due — Fri, 22 Feb 2008 01:46:27 +0000

[...] true. Besides, if Bush had tried employing our bear-and-puma strategy, he could have had violence in Iraq down to practically [...]

By: Sadly, No! » We’re Winning

Sadly, No! » We’re Winning — Thu, 15 Nov 2007 21:12:58 +0000

[...] Selections from the Norton Anthology of Iraqi Bear and Puma Poetry: [...]

By: Sadly, No! » How About Sponsoring One Frickin’ Puma, Mark?

Sadly, No! » How About Sponsoring One Frickin’ Puma, Mark? — Sat, 01 Sep 2007 16:14:39 +0000

[...] proprietors of this bear show have valiantly pledged their support in bear recruitment. But many deployed bears are still operating with unarmored unicycles, and [...]

By: Batocchio

Batocchio — Mon, 27 Aug 2007 20:35:44 +0000

I’m lovin’ this theme. Keep ‘em coming!

By: Righteous Bubba

Righteous Bubba — Sun, 26 Aug 2007 19:06:19 +0000

While a bear started eating his leg
An insurgent was then heard to beg
“Bear spare me! Have pity!”
And the bear thought it witty
To let pumas crack his skull like an egg

By: J—

J— — Sun, 26 Aug 2007 18:41:00 +0000

A lion from the mountains of Cali
From the Green Zone one fine day did sally
She ate all the Baathists
Cached the last Islofascist
Then went to the market to dally

By: mikey

mikey — Sun, 26 Aug 2007 18:35:21 +0000

Bears and Pumas send martyrs to heaven
Impervious to the AK47
And then ZOMG PONIES!!!!11Eleven

Corrupt Iraqis flee the Bears
Only to encounter Puma Pairs
For deliverance they turn to allah and pray
While the Bears and Pumas say “Let us Prey”

By: Righteous Bubba

Righteous Bubba — Sun, 26 Aug 2007 17:36:08 +0000

The noble puma stalks Iraq
Snapping bones in sneak attacks
The valiant bear patrols the streets
Feasting on insurgent meat

For freedom! Mangle brownish tots!
For justice! Slaughter girls in lots!
Let Liberty’s Paw smash brains to pulp!
And Peace’s Maw rend flesh to gulp!

By: RubDMC

RubDMC — Sun, 26 Aug 2007 17:13:09 +0000

How ’bout some Haiku?

The bears of Iraq
Eat Shia and Sunnis both
The pumas – just Kurds.

- – -

This new plan is great
We’ll win with bears and pumas
After that, Iran.

- – -

The bears will mop up
The pumas will watch, and wait.
Hey! Leave some for me.

By: RubDMC

RubDMC — Sun, 26 Aug 2007 17:06:40 +0000

I’d love to get in on this bear doggerel, but I can’t get past:

There once was a bear from Nantucket…

- – -
Alright, let’s try these –

I think that I shall never hear
A growling lovelier than a bear.
A puma’s snarl is also nice,
When eating, they vomit, and so
Eat twice.
- – -

Part One: Life

OUR share of night with bears,
Our share of mourning,
Our blank in bliss to kill,
Our blank in the global war on terror.

Here a star, and there a puma,
Some lose their way.
Here a mist, and there a chewed-up islamofascist insurgent,
Afterwards—ponies!

(apologies to Emily Dickinson)

By: Righteous Bubba

Righteous Bubba — Sun, 26 Aug 2007 16:48:35 +0000

Bears? Why you can
Go to hell sir
The army is
Don’t ask don’t tell sir

By: Big Kahuna Burger

Big Kahuna Burger — Sun, 26 Aug 2007 15:58:00 +0000

Here are an IED-disarming bear and a troop-entertaining puma. Quite a pair, a DUO even!

By: stringonastick

stringonastick — Sun, 26 Aug 2007 15:37:24 +0000

Let’s send the bear from Scotter Libby’s novel, and make sure its good and horny before we let it loose! That ‘ll end this thing in a second, or at least create a huge number of comfort women (and men, if the bear is truly, truly horny) with a weird neocon fanatasy serving as a formative period in their professional lives. The woody that all the neocons would get just at the thought of it should keep them out of politics for years!

By: J—

J— — Sun, 26 Aug 2007 12:11:32 +0000

The insurgent cancer
Has an answer
To this land, sir
Send the panther

By: Herr Doktor Bimler

Herr Doktor Bimler — Sun, 26 Aug 2007 07:43:23 +0000

Does “baldhead” refer to Rudy “The Mobbed-up Catholic” Giuliani, the mafia guy from NYC?
My mental movie of the “She-bears ripped up 42 youths!” episode stars Bruce Willis in the role of the prophet Elisha.

By: Herr Doktor Bimler

Herr Doktor Bimler — Sun, 26 Aug 2007 07:40:08 +0000

B is for Basil, Assaulted by bears.

By: owlbear1

owlbear1 — Sun, 26 Aug 2007 05:42:56 +0000

Gifts, souvenirs, novelties.

By: Righteous Bubba

Righteous Bubba — Sun, 26 Aug 2007 05:20:32 +0000

Pumas slurp the marrow of the dread Iraqi horde
Bears will chew their sinews with a passion untoward
The rivers and the streams will all run red with blood and then
The beasts march to Afghanistan to kill and kill again