21
Tee-Hee
Ah, how I adore the mad transhumanist ravings of Perfesser Glenn Harlan Reynolds:
JAMES LILEKS ON GETTING OLD: “I don’t know if I’d want to be 114 years old, frankly. People say they’re interested in what you have to relate, but they’re not. They lack context. You’d say things like ‘Why, I remember when Netscape had a total lock on the browser market,’ and they’d smile and roll their eyes – oh, he’s off on the browser wars again, whatever that was – and offer you a little more cake. But not too much.” I want to be 114 someday — but 114 as it will be, not 114 as it is now.
And we all know what that means, yes?
As I’ve said before, peeps, there are fates far worse than death. Spending an eternity living with robotic Glenn Reynolds clones “heh-indeeding” their way through space is just such a fate.
UPDATE: From the blog of the World Transhumanist Association:
A guide to hosting your own transhumanist arts center
You dream of turning a hot spot into the transhumanist arts and culture center of your city for a week or month, a space where digital imagery artists meet i-wear fashion designers, who meet experimental electronic musicians, all high on the postcyberpunk zeitgeist!
Through the concept of a temporary nomadic cultural center, you can set out to build this new art scene and bring people from disparate social circles together under one roof. Here’s a guide to setting up your own temporary transhumanist cultural center in six easy steps.
Solidify your concept. “Promoting the creation, dissemination and preservation of transhumanist arts and culture” sounds great but you have to figure out exactly how you want to go about it. Take your big dreams and fit them into one paragraph – careful planning at this stage will help you get sponsors later on. Be creative and be rebellious. Remember that everything is possible. But plan everything, make a budget and put everything on a timeline. Get a mentor to guide you. Ask questions and seek criticism.
Image is everything. Transhumanists should always strive to be seen as people of style and tech sophistication: the embodiment of the geek AND chic. So it’s time to go shopping!
Find the key players. With your newly solidified concept, hip wardrobe and confident attitude, connect with the artists and musicians that will help make your idea come to life. It’s also time to start spreading the word. Call all your friends and get them involved. Exchange skills with them.
And so on.
I swear, reading about these people makes death more and more appealing by the minute…
Also:
Children going to school nowadays are the transhumans of the future. The schools are superb areas for the popularization of transhumanism. This article gives some inspiration on how you can acquaint children at school with ideas of transhumanism. If you are a teacher, you can do a lot for the youth to help them believe in a more beautiful, fearless future.
The minute any child of mine comes home blabbing about having his brain uploaded is the minute I start homeschooling.
Pere Ubu said,
August 21, 2007 at 16:28
So, um, Jimmy Neutron is all worried about not sounding modern and relevant in his 114th year, while being the same guy who pouts about how much shittier society and popular culture are now than they were in the 1950s, totally LACKING CONTEXT for his “Leave It To Beaver” rantings.
Don’t worry, Jim – they’ll judge us by our TV shows then as well.
“The 20th Century? Wasn’t that when everyone had a talk show and was voting each other off islands?”
javaphil said,
August 21, 2007 at 16:35
I didn’t think I wanted to live forever but I must admit I really want to see the war of the Robot-humans versus Breeding Brown Menace. Mostly because all the robots will have trick knees and other priorities and will have to sit around writing about the clash of civilizations and how this is the most glorious war evah while the brown menace completely ignores them and gets on with the business of living their lives.
Guess it won’t be as interesting to witness as I first thought. But I’ll bet advancement in Cheeto flavors will be extreme!
Ginger Yellow said,
August 21, 2007 at 16:36
So, in the future, Glenn thinks people will have their brains altered to make your stories you’ve told five hundred times seem interesting? A brave new world, indeed.
owlbear1 said,
August 21, 2007 at 16:43
0 and 1
on and off
Black and White
Yeah, it follows…
norbizness said,
August 21, 2007 at 17:07
Yeah… well… I’m postpostcyberpunk!
The Hon. Dr. St. Rev. Bradley S. Rocket, Esq, PhD, MD said,
August 21, 2007 at 17:11
I do love this:
Face it: y’all is just dorks. You are not cool. Just accept it. Yeesh.
owlbear1 said,
August 21, 2007 at 17:27
prepostcypherfunk?
Simba B. said,
August 21, 2007 at 17:39
psychopunk!
Legalize said,
August 21, 2007 at 17:45
Postpunkrewave?
tb said,
August 21, 2007 at 17:51
For these people, this is the real science fiction: a future where you don’t dress like crap and musicians and artists don’t laugh at you.
Big Kahuna Burger said,
August 21, 2007 at 18:12
He’s a SMA-A-A-A-A-A-ALL wonder!!!
kingubu said,
August 21, 2007 at 18:16
Shorter Latent Appliance Fetishists: “Maybe if we rub some Steve Jobs on it the girls will stop laughing.”
mikey said,
August 21, 2007 at 18:19
Children going to school nowadays are the transhumans of the future.
I’m sorry, you said WHAT? American children? The ones who don’t read, who don’t understand math, that don’t build ham radios or telescopes or even computers?
The ones who play video games and text each other?
Sorry, pal. You’re gonna be real disappointed by these “children going to school nowadays”. They lack the creativity, insight, imagination and drive to build your “transhuman future”.
But they’ll check out the vids on youtube.
Get off my lawn…
mikey
JoshWatermanMN said,
August 21, 2007 at 18:45
Transhumanists should always strive to be seen as people of style and tech sophistication: the embodiment of the geek AND chic.
So you are saying: we need cooler Cyberman costumes for Doctor Who conventions.
Message received and understood!
Big Kahuna Burger said,
August 21, 2007 at 19:04
I believe these events, like the conventions, are BYoWB (Bring your own wheelbarrow of burritos).
Also, with chapeau slantage to kingubu:
stevejob, n. course slang: an act or instance of imagined fellatio in the vicinity of DefCon 15 and/or any World Transhuman Association convention. That busted reporter totally gave me a stevejob before she peeled out of the parking lot.
Thers said,
August 21, 2007 at 19:11
I like the bit about “exchanging skills” with your friends.
In the future friends will happily tighten each others’ lug nuts.
tigrismus said,
August 21, 2007 at 19:12
You dream of turning a hot spot into the transhumanist arts and culture center of your city for a week or month, a space where digital imagery artists meet i-wear fashion designers, who meet experimental electronic musicians, all high on the postcyberpunk zeitgeist!
People like this make me want to grind my own pigments and illuminate vellum manuscripts.
Jake H. said,
August 21, 2007 at 19:13
I’m sure “transhumanists” (or as I call them, “virgins”) have addressed this in some form or fashion, but don’t they, y’know, sorta maybe think that people might, I don’t know, MISS FUCKING at some point?
People were fucking before people were people. It remains humanity’s favorite activity, and the runner-up (for me, Next Gen reruns!!!) isn’t even close. In general, most people seem ambivalent about the prospect of living forever, period. Living forever without fucking (not to mention wanking, eating, drinking, playing sports, dancing, singing, sunbathing, spitting on things and so forth) isn’t going to win many converts.
But what’s that you say? There will be algorithms which simulate all of these activities and more? Shut the fuck up and give me your lunch money. That Stargate SG-1 shirt looks gay on you.
zsa said,
August 21, 2007 at 19:25
Shouldn’t these people work on being “human” before they go for the “trans-human” thing? A transformed psychotic scumbag, after all, is still a psychotic scumbag. Only it’s a robotic psychotic scumbag.
The only reason they want to be “trans-human” is because they’ve totally failed at being human.
Blog Sinister said,
August 21, 2007 at 19:31
When fucking and pretty much every other physical endeavor you’ve attempted has ended up in gashed elbows, bruised hips, and projectile vomiting (and those just from innocent bystanders), wouldn’t YOU want to exchange the human comedy of bodily existence for a safe, secure uploaded life? What’s a few orgasms when compared to never again having one’s braces stuck in a blow-up doll’s air valve?
I for one would hate to imagine a childhood that didn’t include the wondrous reward for avoiding school toilets for the day– a nice, long session on the throne at home. That was divine relief, wasn’t it? It’s got to be in the top 20 of childhood feelings.
noen said,
August 21, 2007 at 19:42
With your newly solidified concept, hip wardrobe and confident attitude, connect with the artists and musicians that will help make your idea come to life.
Concept:
Large rocket with sufficient capacity to hold all local transhumanists. Including brochures detailing their wonderful new life on Venus. The brochures explain how the process the Venusians developed to upload your mind and thanks them for their contribution to mankind. To reduce costs, pics were acquired via Google.
Wardrobe:
Two tone jumpsuits with the lighter tone forming a large “V” shape from the crotch to the shoulders.
Confidence:
“To Serve Man”
Hysterical Woman said,
August 21, 2007 at 19:51
Reminds me of the foglets in Transmetropolitan. They were people who loaded their mind into a bunch of nanobots. Channon Yarrow’s ex-boyfriend Ziang does this. Keep in mind that this guy is this guy was once arrested for masturbated on a stock-reloading machine.
Shorter: They’re queer for machines.
Ginger Yellow said,
August 21, 2007 at 19:55
On the other hand, foglet sex was apparently pretty hot.
Jim Lund said,
August 21, 2007 at 20:12
But after your kid’s brain is uploaded, he doesn’t need it anymore. So we can eats it. Brains! Braaiiinnnsss!
professor fate said,
August 21, 2007 at 20:47
I remember a silly book published in 1989 called Are You Transhuman – I worked at the company that published it and I remember spending time with my co-workers laughing at the gibberish contained therein. What strikes me about all this is that what they are expecting to happen hasn’t a) changed in almost 20 years and b) hasn’t happened which makes one doubt their ability as seers no?
and I would miss the sex and good dinner and a nice wine and a walk and feeling the wind on my face standing on a beach and the smell of pine trees and the feel of…well let’s not go there.
I don’t think these geeks would miss sex since they are not getting any now.
Herr Doktor Bimler said,
August 21, 2007 at 22:20
the wondrous reward for avoiding school toilets for the day– a nice, long session on the throne at home
My daughter gives us altogether Too Much Information on the subject. “Gotta download now!” she announces. “Core dump!”
Dan Someone said,
August 21, 2007 at 22:35
You know, I’m starting to wonder… First, there’s a post here about some dimwit who claims a 5% chance we’re all just living in a computer simulation… Then I read a sci-fi novel (Brasyl by Ian McDonald; really good book, btw), where quantum computing and many-worlds theory — and advanced computer simulations — all play a role… Then I read a squib that says, basically, the statistical odds are greater that we are living in a computer simulation than the “real world,” because the “real world” will only happen once, but a computer simulation could be rerun any number of times.
Now any one of these things would be the cause of a raised eyebrow, a derisive snort, or maybe a “huh, that’s kind of interesting to think about” — but all of them happening within the space of a month? I think the cracks are beginning to show — I think maybe I’m starting to see the true reality!
I may even be The One!
FS said,
August 21, 2007 at 23:20
I can see that someone is going to be faithfully watching The Bionic Woman come this fall.
Herr Doktor Bimler said,
August 21, 2007 at 23:33
Transhumanists should always strive to be seen as people of style and tech sophistication… So it’s time to go shopping!
I have no emotional investment in transhumanism, but it’s still kind of sad to see it co-opted and pimped and turned into just another consumerist fashion statement…
Hell, whom am I kidding? If the WTA-blog readers think that buying a pair of mirror-shades and a black leather coat will transform them into characters from Neuromancer or Matrix, then they deserve this fate.
mikey said,
August 21, 2007 at 23:38
I may even be The One
Bimler’s the Other One.
I’m Not That One.
mikey
Herr Doktor Bimler said,
August 21, 2007 at 23:47
The Other One? What, when? I have an alibi, you gotta believe me! And besides, the building was already on fire!
Qetesh the Abyssinian said,
August 22, 2007 at 13:48
I don’t think these geeks would miss sex since they are not getting any now.
Of course I miss it! Wouldn’t you, if you’d had a drought lasting X years (where X is a number between 1 and 6. Okay, tending more heavily towards the 6 end, if you must know).
Sob, choke.
Qetesh the Abyssinian said,
August 22, 2007 at 13:56
You dream of turning a hot spot into the transhumanist arts and culture center of your city for a week or month, a space where digital imagery artists meet i-wear fashion designers, who meet experimental electronic musicians, all high on the postcyberpunk zeitgeist!
Bwahahahaha! Translation: you’ll capture a herd of spotty geeks who want to be cool in the future, ‘cos they’re damn sure not cool now.
Through the concept of a temporary nomadic cultural center,
Farken what?!? Hold the thing in a yurt?
Take your big dreams and fit them into one paragraph
Because the guys who cough up the dollars don’t give a shit and can’t be bothered reading.
Transhumanists should always strive to be seen as people of style and tech sophistication:
To cover up the fact that they’re really spotted herberts with pocket protectors and a calculator clamped to their pants.
This article gives some inspiration on how you can acquaint children at school with ideas of transhumanism.
I’d be happier if they’d teach the little fuckers to be human…
If you are a teacher, you can do a lot for the youth to help them believe in a more beautiful, fearless future.
Right up until the gubmint arrests you for being a turr’rst and interfering with the parents’ god-given right to scare the bejeezus out of their offspring with tales of evil Mooslems, and jams oddly-shaped electrical items in all your orifices.
Question: why is there no ‘beautiful, fearless future’ for humans?
Awesome Bionic Arm | MegaAwesome said,
August 22, 2007 at 23:10
[...] of the Post-Cyberpunk nonsense. I want this one all chromed out, whirring and clicking. I hope it comes with matching [...]
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