Comments on: Shorter Confederate Yankee

By: Kip W

Kip W — Mon, 13 Aug 2007 03:01:31 +0000

Shorter Bykoff: Strike my country now, Vader, and I become stronger than you can possibly imagine!

By: cokane

cokane — Sat, 11 Aug 2007 22:20:35 +0000

LOL i havent laughed this hard at a post here in awhile. Well done

By: Notorious P.A.T.

Notorious P.A.T. — Sat, 11 Aug 2007 05:47:00 +0000

Nothing is true, everything is permitted.

— Hassan i Sabbah, founder of the Hashishem (Assassins)

Yikes! But why am I not surprised?

By: jcricket

jcricket — Sat, 11 Aug 2007 04:30:10 +0000

Shorter Fuckoffsky: Another 9/11 would justify our plans of starting a religious Armageddon. Please God, oh please….kill thousands of people so we can send other people’s children to kill in your name. Amen.

By: Jrod

Jrod — Sat, 11 Aug 2007 03:53:49 +0000

Odd, the comment I made earlier vanished. Well, try try again. Hey! No hat tip? I'm devastated!

By: Jrod

Jrod — Sat, 11 Aug 2007 02:44:19 +0000

Hey! No hat tip? I'm devastated. I mean WTF?

By: Qetesh the Abyssinian

Qetesh the Abyssinian — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 23:34:20 +0000

Shorter Fuckovsky: I hate it when we fight: can’t we all just get along?

By: Qetesh the Abyssinian

Qetesh the Abyssinian — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 23:32:32 +0000

Shorter Fuckovsky: We need more terrorists over here so we can keep fighting them over there.

By: mikey

mikey — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 21:54:51 +0000

I think they’re just SO GOSHDARN TIRED of listening to us go on and on about how we knew from the outset that going halfway around the world to invade and occupy a muslim nation by force of arms would turn out to be a clusterfuck, and…

WE WERE RIGHT!!!

That they both would like to experience that “being right” sensation and would like to find a way to shut us up for an hour or two…

mikey

By: Anne Laurie

Anne Laurie — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 21:33:44 +0000

He’s still a wingnut asshole, but at least the fool lives in Raleigh.

I thought he moved from upstate NY (appleknocker country, where their family trees don’t fork) to his beloved “Southland”? On purpose, even? Although the few natives I know tell me that Raleigh is no more ‘Southern’ than Las Vegas is ‘Western’, so probably GCGomer is as on-target in his residential choices as he is in, well, every other godsdamned idiocy he spews on the intertoobz.

Yeah, Mikey, you’re right. It’s not that the Wingnut Warpr0ners have finally achieved full bowel control, but the new Heavy-Sevice Overnight Depends have *extra* absorbency and a “skooch more room”, so now it is no longer accurate for us DFHs to say that the Warpr0ners have shit the bed!!!11!! Except, miracles of modern technology or not, they’re still rolling around in their own effluents, and it would be nice if they didn’t keep dancing into the party in wearing only their dirty Depends and those awful, glazed-eyed, shit-eating grins….

By: Kathleen

Kathleen — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 18:47:33 +0000

seriously though, can we look at his pokemons? I bet he has some cool, rare ones.

By: owlbear1

owlbear1 — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 18:45:51 +0000

Bigoted Northerner recognizes no one can definitely disprove his claims which I’m sure he is diligently translating in his head to, “This proves I was right about everything I’ve ever written about in the past!!”

By: g

Fri, 10 Aug 2007 18:10:08 +0000

Shorter Stu Bykofky: “I hope more people die, so the Democrats would shut up.”

By: Noone

Noone — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 17:59:18 +0000

Shortest Stu Bykofsky: 9/11 – YAY!

By: Lemmy Caution

Lemmy Caution — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 17:50:36 +0000

guy #1: the Bible is true!
guy #2: can you prove that?
guy #1: well, uh, um, uh, can you prove the Roman empire existed?

— wingnuts quoted by Notorious P.A.T.

Nothing is true, everything is permitted.

— Hassan i Sabbah, founder of the Hashishem (Assassins)

I guess we’re all Islamofascists now ….

By: Righteous Bubba

Righteous Bubba — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 17:49:37 +0000

Shorter Stu Bykofsky: Tea served in the skulls of innocents will calm us all.

By: a different brad

a different brad — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 17:33:38 +0000

I emailed Bykofsky. Not in a snarky way, in a you are a disgusting person who should be ashamed of yourself way. I doubt it’ll do any good beyond allowing me to vent, but that’s among the more offensive things I’ve ever read. I wonder, n asked him, whether he’s willing to throw himself and his family into the woodchipper to help out. I’m betting no.

By: Notorious P.A.T.

Notorious P.A.T. — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 17:04:12 +0000

God, I’m trying to think of a Shorter for that column, but it’s so transcendently awful it seems immune…

Shorter Stu Bykofsky: “I’m an a**hole”

What I’m starting to suspect about the Beauchamp affair is that it is all part of a conservative effort to destroy the very concept of objective reality. That is, if they “prove” that nothing can be proven they can go on believing whatever they want. For instance, here’s a recap of a debate I witnessed in a chatroom recently:

guy #1: the Bible is true!
guy #2: can you prove that?
guy #1: well, uh, um, uh, can you prove the Roman empire existed?

So, I guess the wingnuts believe that if nothing is real, anything is real. Except what they don’t like, of course.

By: LA Confidential Pantload

LA Confidential Pantload — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 16:45:47 +0000

IIRC, Bykofsky was the gossip (I guess it’s “society”) writer at the Daily News for many years. He’s been around the Philly scene for a very long time.

By: Drew Johnston

Drew Johnston — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 16:42:12 +0000

Shorter Stu Bykofsky: “An occasional sacrifice of American lives is perfectly acceptable if it stops politicians from arguing.”

Bykofsky is clearly one of those “sensible,” bipartisanship-at-all-costs centrists. What he’s essentially done here is take the Broder/Siegel sensible centrist argument to its logical conclusion. Intemperance and dissent are the greatest centrist sins; if we can eliminate them by letting a few thousand people die, isn’t that an acceptable loss?

My only hope is that he’s making fun of those folks and just hasn’t let us in on the joke. That’ll probably be his defense, anyway.