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People, You can never change the way they feel
The latest social and political commentary from Jonah Goldberg (via Roy):
Grown women read idiotic magazines, obsess over maintaining a teenager’s body, and follow the exploits of Lindsay Lohan. [...] Consider that in the old days, “Marcus Welby” and “Ben Casey” were the ideal:
Ah, the 1970s, the good old days when women read Good Housekeeping so they could read about the Vietnam War, Nixon’s 8-Track Tape Party and Henry Kissinger’s Peace Prize awarded by the Amputee Children of Cambodia. Along with this stuff, of course:
How to stretch fashion dollars Cher tells all about Cher 10 pages: great sewing, crocheting, knitting Warren Beatty: The public image, the private man – quick and easy to make summer suppers – 15 pages great fashions to buy, sew and crochet.
Jonah continues:
The burgeoning “children’s rights” movement — to which a young Hillary Clinton was connected — saw treating kids as peers to be of a piece with the new egalitarianism. Movies as diverse as Taxi Driver, Bugsy Malone, and Irreconcilable Differences fixated on treating kids like adults in one way or another.
Children should only be “treated as adults” when the time comes to “incarcerate” or “execute” them (gratuitous quotation marks added for kicks). Right, Antonin?
At that time, the U.S. Supreme Court applied its earlier ruling in Stanford vs. Kentucky 492 U.S. 361 1989 where Justice Scalia concluded that there was neither “a historical nor a modern societal consensus forbidding the imposition of Capital Punishment of any person who murders at 16 or 17 years of age”.
Or if they are thought to be terrorists:
Now 20, Khadr has been in US detention for nearly five years. [...] In November 2002, he was transferred to Guantanamo Bay, where he was declared an “unlawful enemy combatant,” housed with adult detainees and subjected to repeated interrogations.
Or if we just plain don’t like them:
There are at least 2,225 child offenders serving life without parole sentences in U.S prisons for crimes committed before they were age 18, Human Rights Watch and Amnesty International said in a new joint report published today.
For example, 15-year-old Peter A. was sentenced to life without parole for felony murder. Peter had joined two acquaintances of his older brother to commit a robbery. He was waiting outside in a van when one of the acquaintances botched the robbery and murdered two victims. Peter said, “Although I was present at the scene, I never shot or killed anyone.” Nevertheless, Peter was held accountable for the double murder because it was established during the trial that he had stolen the van used to drive to the victims’ house.
That’s some delicious justice.
Xel said,
August 10, 2007 at 11:01
“Grown women read idiotic magazines” And grown men read the Weekly (lack of) Standard.
“obsess over maintaining a teenager’s body” Obsess over how “300″ actually is analogous to reality because the muslims are androgynous and haughty while the poor Americans are undernumbered, underpowered and totally acted in self-defense when they ruined Iraq.
“and follow the exploits of Lindsay Lohan” and ignore the exploits of basically everyone unless they happen to be on the left or “muslimes”
“Consider that in the old days, “Marcus Welby” and “Ben Casey” were the ideal” Consider that in the old days they actually cared about the economy, human rights, countering rather than emulating the worst aspects of the left and went to war against some antities who actually deserved it.
Alec said,
August 10, 2007 at 11:02
Grown women read idiotic magazines, obsess over maintaining a teenager’s body, and follow the exploits of Lindsay Lohan. […] Consider that in the old days, “Marcus Welby” and “Ben Casey” were the ideal:
Damn straight: the good old days when TV doctors made sure the bitch carried it to term!
I mean, uh, stood by their principles? My wingnutois is rusty.
dgbellak said,
August 10, 2007 at 11:23
Damn kids with their damn rights.
And I propose that Jonah has a Jodie Foster infatuation. (That Drew Barrymore reference is just a clever ruse.)
Some Guy said,
August 10, 2007 at 11:25
Man, I remember WAY back in the day when woman would go to their doctor’s once a month or so to be treated for “hysteria”, and their doctor would administer treatment to her lady region with a sophisticated medical device called a “vibrator”.
All true, and it’s a great story to break the ice at parties!
Lesley said,
August 10, 2007 at 11:37
Is Johah the one who blogs the Miss Universe contest or is that the boobalicious Hugh Hewitt? I can’t keep track.
Herr Doktor Bimler said,
August 10, 2007 at 12:14
“Marcus Welby” and “Ben Casey” were the ideal, he goes on to explain, in that they were “authoritative” “father figures”.
If I could project like that, I’d set up my own cinema.
Wally Whateley said,
August 10, 2007 at 12:28
Lesley, that’s Hindrocket.
Jonah’s mother doesn’t allow him to look at girls.
Big Kahuna Burger said,
August 10, 2007 at 13:29
Though Lucianne did make sure a come stain on a young woman’s dress gave her son a career.
anangryoldbroad said,
August 10, 2007 at 14:20
Oh for the love of god.
All that money and “upbringing”and no one ever taught Jonah that you don’t HAVE to speak,write,or otherwise share every fucking thought that flies into your head. In fact,most people,the sane ones,DON’T.
I don’t know,maybe Lucienne sent him to that all women’s college because she knew it wouldn’t be a week until Jonah ran his yap and came home carrying his teeth in a bag.
Pere Ubu said,
August 10, 2007 at 14:36
Jeez, those women are just so… so… FEMMY N’ STUFF!
Why can’t women be more like men, or Ann Coulter at the very least?
All true, and it’s a great story to break the ice at parties!
Indeed true, and I highly recommend this book about the subject.
Did you know the vibrator was one of the first electrical applicances in the turn-of-the-20th-Century “modern” home?
Legalize said,
August 10, 2007 at 15:04
Explain to me how Taxi Driver had fuck all to do with this terrible thing called “children’s rights.” Jodi Foster’s character was a prostitute. Or does Jonah think that child prostitutes should be executed or something?
Qetesh the Abyssinian said,
August 10, 2007 at 15:10
Explain to me how Taxi Driver had fuck all to do with this terrible thing called “children’s rights.” Jodi Foster’s character was a prostitute. Or does Jonah think that child prostitutes should be executed or something?
Because, Legalize, every child has the right to be a prostitute. Hey, Jodi Foster’s character sold her body, Jonah sells his…whatever. I don’t wanna know.
atheist said,
August 10, 2007 at 15:17
Yeah, why do women waste their time reading fashion magazines? Trying to be all pretty n’ shit! Why can’t women read intelligent material like Maxim?
tigrismus said,
August 10, 2007 at 15:31
Jonah wakes up to a brand new world every day, in which no one gave two shits about kids before Hillary stepped in and beauty and fashion were of no interest to anyone before now. How on earth does anyone so vacant get his worthless scribbles published?
Pere Ubu said,
August 10, 2007 at 15:50
How on earth does anyone so vacant get his worthless scribbles published?
One word: Mommy.
jbofmo said,
August 10, 2007 at 15:57
Consider that in the old days, “Marcus Welby” and “Ben Casey” were the ideal:
Ahhhh, life is just a tv show! Now why hasn’t the guy on “24 Hours” not won the war on terra yet?
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
August 10, 2007 at 16:03
Ahhhh, life is just a tv show! Now why hasn’t the guy on “24 Hours” not won the war on terra yet?
Don’t work so hard, you’ll put the goobermint outta bizness.
stringonastick said,
August 10, 2007 at 18:13
“Obsessing over maintaining a teenager’s body…”
Well, at least we know that Johan doesn’t have THAT problem.
Leonard Pierce said,
August 10, 2007 at 18:27
So, women are obsessing over maintaining a teenage body, eh? I wonder where they might have gotten that idea.
mikey said,
August 10, 2007 at 18:41
I used to run a free-lance little vibrator repair shop in Sacramento. The most common complaint was excessive noise. I used small bits of matchbook cover to dampen contact with the plastic external casing without significantly reducing the actual mechanical vibration. My reputation grew far and wide.
The validation tests were cool…
mikey
t4toby said,
August 10, 2007 at 18:55
mikey, you are something else…
Mooser said,
August 10, 2007 at 18:57
Jonah, when we tolerate a religion which for 2000 years has denied the divinityness, Lordshippiness and Saviouriousity of Jesus, things are going to go downhill, Jonah. Ahm tlkin’ about them Jooos! Jonah When we tell the Muzzies aand the Hindoos “get thee behinds outta here, Satin, they’re gonna turn around and say “What about them Christ-killin Joos? You seem to like them well enough”
And the commentors here, seem to be unaware of the danger, too. Let’s let them know about it.
Dan Someone said,
August 10, 2007 at 19:57
stringonastick:
“Obsessing over maintaining a teenager’s body…”
Well, at least we know that Johan doesn’t have THAT problem.
We really have no idea what Jonah keeps in his basement, do we?
g said,
August 10, 2007 at 20:04
Grown women read idiotic magazines, obsess over maintaining a teenager’s body, and follow the exploits of Lindsay Lohan
Lucianne: “Jonah! when are you going to go down to the store like I asked and get me onea my magazines!”
Jonah: “Aw, mom, I’m working on my book.”
Lucianne: “Don’t you give me that tone young man! I want my magazines! As long as you’re living in my house, you’ll do as I ask! And be sure you get the one with Britney’s kids on the cover. I hear she’s showing her cooter again!”
Schwag of Tulsa said,
August 10, 2007 at 20:27
Marcus Welby? Wasn’t he the TV Doctor played by a suicidal alcoholic?
stringonastick said,
August 10, 2007 at 21:37
Dan Someone said,
August 10, 2007 at 19:57
stringonastick:
“Obsessing over maintaining a teenager’s body…”
Well, at least we know that Johan doesn’t have THAT problem.
We really have no idea what Jonah keeps in his basement, do we?
Hmm, good point. I figured that given how we have to hear about every “idea” he’s ever come up with while contemplating his navel (or at least his inability to see it anymore), that he was saying its OK for him to be a tubby wubby since that means he’s not obsessive about it and all that. Funny how people that protest so loudly about something they don’t like are really projecting their own self-loathing, eh?
Oh, and sorry for making people think about Jonah’s navel. oops.
Herr Doktor Bimler said,
August 11, 2007 at 0:11
“Obsessing over maintaining a teenager’s body…”
We really have no idea what Jonah keeps in his basement, do we?
It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.
M. Bouffant said,
August 11, 2007 at 3:02
Here in the Southland, we don’t even have to go to NRO on Wednesday, as each Tuesday the local fishwrapper treats us to Jonah. (Links not working!!!) Just look @ World O’ Crap. (As always, worth it.) And I’ve got a (mercifully short) take on The Goateed Toad as well. Click my name, baby!! (It is short.)