Comments on: Victor Davis Hanson, ALTERNATE HISTORIAN!

By: Batocchio

Batocchio — Tue, 21 Aug 2007 02:45:54 +0000

Great post! Still, it pains me to see you associate Coulter at all with the mighty Thor. But the “what if” is just too good, and I’m sure she wound up in Nifelheim.

By: apparent

apparent — Sun, 12 Aug 2007 03:22:09 +0000

Or, as Shakespeare put it, “Never never never never never.”

By: Raijin

Raijin — Sat, 11 Aug 2007 13:51:24 +0000

Wait. . . “black” is an accent?

By: Phoenician in a time of Romans

Phoenician in a time of Romans — Sat, 11 Aug 2007 07:24:53 +0000

What if I finally watched 300 last night and realized that what it means is that the men of “all of Sparta” can be raised by techniques combining Marine boot camp and Hitler Youth ideology, and yet the nation STILL turns out to be run by four ancient perverts on a mountaintop and a “council” of mumbling gasbag politicians and a slimeball turncoat? (Sign me up for Athens, pronto!)

Diebold goes back a loooong way…

By: M. Bouffant

M. Bouffant — Sat, 11 Aug 2007 00:33:30 +0000

Nuclear Islamic Pakistan: Band name of the thread.
Facial Hair: Unless you’re a chinless wonder, shave it! That Wingnut Face Mullet/goatee/van Dyck thing was first visible here in the trend capital of the universe (SoCal) ’bout ’85 or ’86. It should have been over by 1990, and it was officially over when John Travolta started to sport one. Leave it to the 30 yrs. behind the time RW a-hole Young Republican rapists. Basically, face hair is for men to hide behind. Let the actual you out, boys!!
(From someone who could use a little more chin, & whose beard is rather sparse. But I’m still right. Just look @ DoughBob SpongeButt on Bloggingheads or even the TNR rip-off thereof, as he continually strokes the ugly thing, apparently still amazed that he’s passed through something resembling puberty.)

By: Duros62

Duros62 — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 19:44:49 +0000

“What would be the press reaction—if George Bush announced that he wanted to invade nuclear Islamic Pakistan?”

We would have to require that he first prove that he can pronounce it correctly.

Anybody see White Light/Black Rain on HBO last night? Nuclear weapons should never, ever be used ever.

By: Noone

Noone — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 17:40:01 +0000

What if Coulter had a soul?

Nah…the Thor’s hammer thing is clearly more probable.

By: MrWonderful

MrWonderful — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 15:11:26 +0000

Why stop there?

What if Bush was a big poopy-head?

What if Bush says all options for dealing with Iran are “on the table,” and Nancy Pelosi says “impeachment is off the table,” and they’re talking about the same table?

By: DAS

DAS — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 14:47:42 +0000

That’s a good question! What would be the press reaction if he announced he wanted to invade nuclear Islamic Iraq?

Not the same situation. Look at the events surrounding the coup removing Sharif from power in Pakistan. Musharrif has been good to certain people in terms of making sure the money keeps rolling in. Our corporations weren’t profiting from Iraq like they were from Pakistan. So, the reaction would have been different.

Or if he addressed a group of African-Americans and adopted a fake-black accent as if implying all spoke with flawed Southern-accented grammar?

Nu? Bush adopts a fake-white Southern accent implying all speak with flawed Southern-accented grammar, and the press loves how well GWB can connect with Joe Sixpack.

By: atheist

atheist — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 14:09:36 +0000

Perhaps this isn’t the best time to admit that I used to be a mouth-breather (prior to a {giant} adenoidectomy). And I used to eat big sammiches. I still like (diet) Mountain Dew. And once in a blue moon or three, Cheetos are the Orange Stainmakers of Promise.

MCH:

I love me some Krunchers- those things are awesome, if quite artery clogging. Hell, most of us are some kind of geek, that’s how we ended up here.

By: Soullite

Soullite — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 13:55:13 +0000

Clearly, you missed the part where Thor’s Hammer could only be wielded by someone with absolutely pure virtues.

By: tigrismus

tigrismus — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 13:47:48 +0000

Goddamit MCH, I was going to bring up the fake suhthuhn accent. Hanson must have brass balls of doom to now denounce fake accents and bad grammar.

By: jbofmo

jbofmo — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 13:45:56 +0000

“What would be the press reaction—if George Bush announced that he wanted to invade nuclear Islamic Pakistan?”

Bush is still trying to figure out that whole sovereignty thingy so I’m guessing Pakistan is safe for awhile longer.

By: MCH

MCH — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 13:21:47 +0000

Or if he addressed a group of African-Americans and adopted a fake-black accent as if implying all spoke with flawed Southern-accented grammar?

What if he came from freakin New England and adopted a miserable fake-Texas accent as if implying everyone below the Mason-Dixon were as dumb as he is?

Jeff, in order for it to qualify as a “wingnut face mullet” you first have to be a ‘wingnut’ .

Thanks, owlbear. I needed that get-out-of-lame-free card too.

OK, there goes all my thread cred. I blame it on a Reaganite Catholic childhood.

By: Jim/The Velvet Blog

Jim/The Velvet Blog — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 12:28:43 +0000

What if he made a joke out of looking for weapons of mass destruction in his office?

By: Robbie Taylor

Robbie Taylor — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 12:28:25 +0000

Hey, as the ACTUAL Alternate Historian, I resent you lumping him in with me on the basis of 1 little article! I have 3 years of work in this field, and I'll be damned if some amateur can come along and claim my glory...

By: RCP

RCP — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 12:25:12 +0000

What if he turned every single government agency into tools of the Republican party and packed them with incompetent cronies?

Also, what’s the shock ending? I MUST KNOW!!!1!!1

By: sarah

sarah — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 08:26:45 +0000

dude, i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again: like the aramaeans hated the assyrians, ooh, right around 871 bc, i hate vdh.

also, i’ve got a fantastic hypothetical question: what if vdh had bothered to use a spellchecker? geez, pajamas media, i’ve seen more professional writing from first graders.

By: D. Sidhe

D. Sidhe — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 08:07:19 +0000

What if George Bush made fun of a death-row inmate’s plea for mercy?

And what if, in so doing, he managed to offend Tucker “Mr Ethical Sensitivity” Carlson? I know, I know, not even remotely plausible.

By: Qetesh the Abyssinian

Qetesh the Abyssinian — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 07:25:14 +0000

From the comments:
I heard Democatic Candidate Mike Gravel assert that Spartans and Spartan society encouraged homosexuality as it provided the the incentive to “protect the man beside you” in combat. Is this correct? My understatnding is that Spartans were warriors first, all else second. Could you address this?

Wow. Wonder how he’ll answer that one..