Jul
7

DoughBob Shatner




Posted at 19:49 by Brad

Check out the Amazon page for DoughBob’s alleged new book (my emphasis):

What do customers ultimately buy after viewing this item?

42% buy the item featured on this page: Liberal Fascism: The Totalitarian Temptation from Hegel to Whole Foods by Jonah Goldberg $27.95

33% buy: A Tragic Legacy: How a Good vs. Evil Mentality Destroyed the Bush Presidency by Glenn Greenwald $16.47

8% buy: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (Book 7) by J. K. Rowling $17.99

8% buy The Enemy At Home: The Cultural Left and Its Responsibility for 9/11 by Dinesh D’Souza $26.95

8% buy: Anatomy of Deceit: How the Bush Administration Used the Media to Sell the Iraq War and Out a Spy by Marcy Wheeler $10.17

Let’s do the math.

Of the people who look at DougBob’s book but do not purchase it, 14 percent are wingnuts, 14 percent are nerds and a whopping 72 percent are lefties looking for a good laugh.


Liberal Fascism
is rapidly becoming a modern day cross between the Beach Boys’ SMiLE! and William Shatner’s Transformed Man. It’s like the Shatner album in that it’s valued only for its camp appeal. And it’s like the Brian Wilson’s lost masterpiece in that, despite being worked on for years, it never seems to get finished.

Consequently, every day that Liberal Fascism spends in the shop and away from the shelves is a day that its legend grows even funnier. The recent change in the book’s subtitle – which was rewritten to accuse yuppie organic food shoppers of Nazism – was an all-too-fleeting glimpse into one man’s ongoing mental implosion, much like the stories of Brian Wilson’s ill-fated attempts to force his studio orchestra to wear fire helmets. Similarly, DoughBob’s pathetic, laughable defenses of his work are akin to hearing Shatner yelp “MIIIISTER TAAAAAMBOOOOURINNNNNE MAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!!!” into the microphone at full decibel.

I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’ve made “Liberal Fascism” one of my weekly Google News alerts. I don’t want to miss one hilarious detail.

33 Comments »

  1. Phredd said,

    July 7, 2007 at 19:53

    What the hell is with that “(Foam Book)” after the title and the “(colorist)” after Pantload’s name???

    Or is that just on *my* screen?

  2. The Hon. Dr. St. Rev. Bradley S. Rocket, Esq, PhD, MD said,

    July 7, 2007 at 19:56

    Phredd- again, that’s just part of the mystery that makes this book such a compelling masterwork. You can bet that there are lefty freelance writers queued up around the block waiting to review this thing.

  3. Hitlery said,

    July 7, 2007 at 20:05

    I suddenly feel left out…

  4. Officer Kirk said,

    July 7, 2007 at 20:07

    When will this book be finished.
    Well I think it’s gonna be a long, long time!

  5. His Grace said,

    July 7, 2007 at 20:36

    It gets better Bradrocket. For my sponsored links, the first one I get is from Obama for President. I am urged to sign up and volunteer for his campaign.

  6. Marita said,

    July 7, 2007 at 20:43

    I added “doughbob loadpants” to the tags for this book. I would encourage you all to add that tag, so that it moves up the list (just click on “see all tags”, and it will come up). The currently leading tag — “spent advance on Cheetos” — is worth a vote as well. Alas, I can’t take credit for adding that one.

  7. Ted said,

    July 7, 2007 at 21:05

    Lots of good alternate ideas for DoughBob’s subtitle here.

  8. Hubert Davis said,

    July 7, 2007 at 21:14

    Your statement:

    “Of the people who look at DougBob’s(sic) book but do not purchase it, 14 percent are wingnuts, 14 percent are nerds and a whopping 72 percent are lefties looking for a good laugh.”

    Should be phrased:

    “Of the people that looked at DoughBob’s book, but bought different shit instead…..”

    In truth we know nothing about people that browsed but didn’t purchase. There could be 140 million lefties who snicker at the Pant Load’s opus, but choose not to buy anything.

  9. Nimrod Gently said,

    July 7, 2007 at 21:14

    A bit more browsing reveals that Mark Steyn brags about being called “Dangerous Idiot of the Year” by The New Statesman.

    That’s not a university paper, Mark.

  10. Leonard Pierce said,

    July 7, 2007 at 21:18

    The difference this and SMiLE is that when the latter was finally finished, it was pretty good. Jolly Jonah’s book is likely to be a steaming load if it ever finally gets released. So I’d say a more apt comparison is that Liberal Fascism is a latter-day The Day the Clown Cried.

  11. Officer Kirk said,

    July 7, 2007 at 21:31

    In other news, Guns N Roses will be releasing “Malaysian Constitutional Republic” on Dec. 27.

  12. Trilateral Chairman said,

    July 7, 2007 at 21:48

    Sometimes I think that all of this–the ludicrous title, the subtitle that morphs from idiotic to absurd, the inane defenses–are all some sort of publicity stunt that Goldberg’s dreamed up. I mean, I’m finding that I kind of want to read the thing now, if only for the delightful sense of Schadenfreude I’m likely to feel.

    But then I realize: Nah. Goldberg ain’t smart enough to come up with such a plan.

    I just hope that the reviewers don’t actually, you know, BUY the thing.

  13. Brad R. said,

    July 7, 2007 at 21:53

    The difference this and SMiLE is that when the latter was finally finished, it was pretty good.

    Hence the cross between Smile and Transformed Man. Dig?

  14. a different brad said,

    July 7, 2007 at 22:39

    I’m wondering whether Doughbob will get the book out before the final volume of Hunter S. Thompson’s letters comes out, which has also been repeatedly delayed to the tune of over a year.
    Can he beat a dead man? The odds aren’t good.

  15. fardels bear said,

    July 7, 2007 at 22:45

    Given how many book J.K. Rowling sells, I’m willing to bet that 8% of people who look at any title on Amazon end up buying the new Harry Potter book.

  16. Jay said,

    July 8, 2007 at 0:39

    Like Phredd, I wondered what a foam book is.

    My theory is that “foam” is to books what “vaporware” is to software.

  17. dan b said,

    July 8, 2007 at 1:39

    hmm…colorist DoughBob, eh? maybe that’s all he’s done so far – colored in the cover.

    nah. i’m sure he hired an intern to take care of that, too.

  18. MzNicky said,

    July 8, 2007 at 2:20

    Ted (at 21:05): Thanks for that link! OMG. I haven’t laughed that hard, and for so long, since Jesus’ General ceased being teh funny.

  19. galavant-guardian said,

    July 8, 2007 at 2:37

    Foam book?

    Maybe Jonah plans to soundproof his Mom’s basement with the remainders.

  20. D. Sidhe said,

    July 8, 2007 at 4:35

    A foam book is a waterproof book made of vinyl-covered foam-padded cardboard, designed to float in the bathtub, be safely chewed upon, or allow color crayon to be washed off. They’re made for preschoolers and feature bright colors and very few words. It’s the literary equivalent of a See N’Say.

    Moo! said the purchasers of Jonah’s opus.

  21. Some Guy said,

    July 8, 2007 at 5:04

    Question: Does one Mr. Tambourine Man have any relation to Mr. Tangerine Speedo?

  22. Bruce from Missouri said,

    July 8, 2007 at 8:24

    Definitely everyone should go there and click on all the more humorous tags

  23. Nullifidian said,

    July 8, 2007 at 14:06

    I’m wondering whether Doughbob will get the book out before the final volume of Hunter S. Thompson’s letters comes out, which has also been repeatedly delayed to the tune of over a year.
    Can he beat a dead man? The odds aren’t good.

    Let’s hope he can get it done before “Etude pour espace” by Edgar Varese is finally released. It’s been nine years since Chou Wen Chung promised it would be forthcoming. The guy is the executor from hell. And Varese has only been dead forty-two years. A mere blip, right?

  24. downunder girl said,

    July 8, 2007 at 14:28

    Oh heck that is funny. Even better, when you click on the different tags, it shows you other products with the same tag, but also products that don’t have the tag, but perhaps should.
    Try the page on the “spent advance on cheetos” tag, and then scroll down to see “Products NOT tagged “spent advance on cheetos”, but should be?”

    *snerk*

  25. Leonard's Getting Larger said,

    July 8, 2007 at 17:21

    I wonder how long it will be before Goldberg blows his top about the “foam book” and “colorist” listing.
    Look at what they call “foam books.” And these even have “authors,” not “colorists.”

  26. Leonard's Getting Larger said,

    July 8, 2007 at 17:23

    Guess it’s time for Conservamazon, where rightist tracts are treated fairly (sniff).

  27. Patkin said,

    July 8, 2007 at 21:25

    Increasing Leonard:

    Hogwash. Amazons are far too threatening a being for the conservatives. A fully-independent society of women with little to no need for men? Sacrilege! The implication that women should be allowed to read at all? Contemptible left-wing propaganda!

    Bigdickedoiledupnakedspartanwarrior.com, the conservative’s book-seller!

  28. Jillian said,

    July 8, 2007 at 21:27

    Incidentally, somebody really needs to grab a screeencap of that page showing this as a “foam book” and Jonah as the “colorist”. You know it’s an Amazon employee with a good sense of humor who did it, and as soon as someone important realizes it, it’ll be gone. So, grab a copy while you can!

  29. Auguste said,

    July 9, 2007 at 0:23

    Other foam books, just for reference.

  30. Marita said,

    July 9, 2007 at 3:54

    Oh, I totally got it screencap’d, Jillan.

    Worth noting that this isn’t the first time the dirty hippies have had their way with Amazon. A screencap of earlier work by a liberal mole can be seen here.

  31. lobbey said,

    July 9, 2007 at 9:02

    The tag “banged out by howler monkeys” sadly has only 1 vote!

  32. Teh Howler Monkeys said,

    July 9, 2007 at 15:33

    The tag “banged out by howler monkeys” sadly has only 1 vote!

    This is totally unfair!

    Put a thousand of us behind a thousand typewriters, and even we could come up with a more coherent subtitle!

    Have you ever tried walking through a mall dressed as a howler monkey?!?

    S,N! is a generally humorous blog, but the cheap antisimianism on display here will forever tarnish its reputation.

  33. Bistroist said,

    July 10, 2007 at 13:50

    In a rare act of fairness, it should be noted that when I picked up The One Percent Doctrine last year, I screencapped this:

    57% buy Godless: The Church of Liberalism by Ann Coulter

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