Comments on: 10 Hilarious Rules For Dating Doug Giles’s Daughters

By: scott

scott — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 19:32:13 +0000

“I’ve traveled the planet, planted churches and started businesses.”

“PLANTED CHURCHES ALL OVER THE WORLD”….you always have to consider the DOUG GILES EXAGGERATION FACTOR…as a former member of Doug’s church, I can tell you, he started one church in Lubbock, Tx (Covenant Christian Fellowship) that doesn’t exist anymore AND none of his former elders, worship team, pastors, etc want anything to do with him anymore (because he’s a lying, two faced, egomaniac, sociopathic wiesel)……and he still (after 13 years) has not gotten his Miami church off of the ground…

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By: poetisa

poetisa — Mon, 09 Jul 2007 17:21:54 +0000

Giles-bonkura* says:

I like high quality cigars (nothing below a 90), Johnnie Walker Blue Label, Chimay Grand Reserve…

If he was really so proud of his Texas roots, he’d demand that the unhappy swains looking to procure his daughters pay tribute with Shiner Bock, Lone Star, or Jax (three cases minimum, shipped overnight).

Johnnie Walker? Chimay? Fine and dandy, I suppose. But not befitting a rough-and-tumble, Neanderthal, carnivore pastor born and bred in Texas. (I have seen his piccies—ha bloody ha!)

*Bonkura means “jalopy” in Japanese, and it refers to anyone who is not terribly bright.

By: Trixie Belden

Trixie Belden — Sat, 07 Jul 2007 03:55:11 +0000

Ted said,

July 5, 2007 at 22:13

Karla Marx –

Actually, having babies is the only thing that makes a fundie wife’s life worth living (well, that and serving their husbands) so he can’t want them to stay virgins. They might make that choice on their own after reading what he’s written here, though. I was thinking that if I ever want to try to turn my daughter into a lesbian I might cut and paste his screed into a blog of my own.

Also, #6 and number 10.2 contradict each other – he wants the kid to read and learn a lot and be able to discuss things, but not anything that he, Doug, would find strange or threatening.

I bet a dollar Doug is a homeschooler.

You should have made that bet for a million dollars, Ted. I’m positive that either on this blog or World O’ Crap I once read a quote from one of Doug’s columns talking about how “his ladies”, as he always creepily refers to his daughters, were home schooled.

By: DEMIZE!

DEMIZE! — Sat, 07 Jul 2007 03:01:34 +0000

OK.it’s bad enough to like hunting Africa and old British double rifles,but this guy likes books on hunting Africa and old British double rifles.Who the fuck does this guy think he is the fundie Ernest Hemingway?And what a turn with the rectacular aphorisms.A true TWAT!

By: charles parr

charles parr — Sat, 07 Jul 2007 00:32:01 +0000

This makes me long to go to his hometown, stalk, and then seduce his daughters. Preferably I would get a nice little incestuous threesome going, talk them into videotaping a hawt bondage session (maybe some daughter/daddy play, if I could manage to keep a straight face) and then mailing him the dvd.

I think I’d package the dvd up as some sort of ‘inspirational documentary’ sent to him for review.

What a bozo.

By: sagra

sagra — Fri, 06 Jul 2007 21:20:22 +0000

“Read them and weep?”

Doug, if you knew your writing was that bad, why on earth would you publish it?

By: Grambo

Grambo — Fri, 06 Jul 2007 19:21:51 +0000

Wait, I’ve seen this guy in the movies. Four Friends. Elope, kiddos, elope.

By: townser

townser — Fri, 06 Jul 2007 17:51:16 +0000

I can’t believe no one has commented on his “Lord of the Flies”-esque self portraits over at his art (I use that term loosely) site. What a warrior…

By: tps12

tps12 — Fri, 06 Jul 2007 16:40:20 +0000

It is awesome how Doug Giles is so completely insecure in his masculinity that he’s created this absurd cartoon persona for himself. Actually going on safaris isn’t manly enough, so he collects safari memorabilia? Who does that? And skulls, WTF?

By: professor fate

professor fate — Fri, 06 Jul 2007 14:28:52 +0000

dude – odds are your precious little ladies aren’t well who you think they are given your outstanding jerkness- here’s an idea listen to Mommy’s little monster by Social Distortion about 150 times you’ll get the idea.

Second – anybody who boasts about their martial arts training has a) missed the damn point of martial arts training and b) looking to get his ass whiped by the first street fighter he runs into. I took Tae Qwan Do under a real master – (former Korean commando even) and he’s tear you down in a second the moment you started gettting cocky about your abilities – normally by showing you just how much you didn’t know.

I do feel sorry for the girls – what a jackass.

By: g

Fri, 06 Jul 2007 14:04:23 +0000

I read some of the comments before I got bored and clicked back out of it.

My favorite was the response by one guy to another commenters’ speculation what Doug would do if one of his daughters’ suitors politely and reasonably called him on the bullshit.

Second guy said that the correct response would be to threaten to shoot the young man. (I’m paraphrasing)

These guys are truly a case of overcompensation. They’re looking in the bathroom mirror the morning after, daydreaming about what they SHOULDA told that guy at the bar last night.

By: Larry

Larry — Fri, 06 Jul 2007 12:57:35 +0000

Meanwhile, the girls are waiting for the first thing with a cock and a car to get them as far the FUCK from Mr. Self-Consciously “Alpha Dog” as is humanly possible.

By: Beebles

Beebles — Fri, 06 Jul 2007 12:49:12 +0000

Oh my dog, I knew girls with fathers like this. They were pure entertainment, because they needed so badly for a man to be around to tell them what to do that they would take orders from just about any man. Even if the order was “let me and my friend double-team you.” These daughters will have to be surgically extracted from stripper poles before they’re old enough to drink.

By: LA Confidential Pantload

LA Confidential Pantload — Fri, 06 Jul 2007 12:33:44 +0000

“Hip and groovy?” This dipshit makes Ayatollah Sistani look “hip and groovy.”

By: N.C.

N.C. — Fri, 06 Jul 2007 12:20:05 +0000

I have zero tolerance for what your long-toothed, rather mannish lesbian sociology teacher at Columbia U programmed you with—you dig?

Heh. My previous boss got his master’s in sociology from Columbia, and I have a feeling that he’d drop Doug Giles in a bar fight.

I don’t even want to mention the department head, with his sociology Ph.D. from UC Berkley and his collection of black belts and medieval weaponry…

By: Frankie Carbone

Frankie Carbone — Fri, 06 Jul 2007 11:38:41 +0000

No one in Scotland drinks Johnnie Walker.

It’s what you use to bribe people in third world countries.

Oh, wait…

By: W. Kiernan

W. Kiernan — Fri, 06 Jul 2007 11:36:21 +0000

Well, let's see, I am at least twice your age. I used to be a drug user/dealer until God zapped me. but, I was raised by country-loving, God-fearing, hard-working, meat-eating, good ole’ Texan parents who evidently raised you so upright and good that, soon as you could, you became a dope fiend and a dealer. Great jorb, Grandpa and Grandma Giles! Your silly, sorry sonny-boy's a self-confessed junkie and a big-time felon! Gosh, aren't you proud? Thou had better have a life. My wife and I have worked our tails off providing a good life for our girls; therefore, you better have one, Spanky. I suggest selling drugs, lads. Sell them like your hair's on fire. That way, when you desire to take one of those hot Giles girls out for a spin, you'll have plenty of cash with which to bribe Daddy, their brand-name-dropping, luxury-loving, Scotch-sipping pimp. You know that feeling, when you see somebody else caught up in something really cringe-worthy, how you too end up cringing in sympathy? I do feel sorry for the little Giles-ettes. Surely this simpleton's innocent offspring didn't deserve this kind of embarrassment. And while I've always found it a bit weird how when women get married they usually change their last name to their husband's name. in this case it'll surely be a relief and a blessing.

By: Fishbone McGonigle

Fishbone McGonigle — Fri, 06 Jul 2007 11:10:38 +0000

I find it discouraging that he also likes Chimay.

By: bago

bago — Fri, 06 Jul 2007 10:25:44 +0000

Thank god for teenage rebellion.