Jul
2
2
Bed-wetter rock
I am flattered to be dissed by the super-awesome Blogs4Brownback dude:
Psycheout said,
July 2, 2007 at 22:34
Shorter Bradrocket: Dear Diary – I wet the bed again. Mom’s really angry.
What can I say? He pwn3d me.
But this reminds me of a topic idea I had: bed-wetter rock. List the songs that are most likely to appeal to people who wet their beds at night. I’ll start off with my personal selections*:
“Why Does it Always Rain on Me?” by Travis
“Screaming Infidelities” by Dashboard Confessional
Fall Out Boy’s entire godforsaken catalog
Post your picks for bed-wetter rock in the comments! Limit of one Smiths song per entry, por favor!
*Not that, I you know, wet my bed or anything it’s just that… uh… your mom!!!
a different brad said,
July 2, 2007 at 23:20
How many Cure songs can I name, then?
The Hon. Dr. St. Rev. Bradley S. Rocket, Esq, PhD, MD said,
July 2, 2007 at 23:23
One per band. Unless it’s Fall Out Boy, in which case I, and I alone, can list the entire catalog. Am I making up these rules as I go? Why yes I am.
SgtD said,
July 2, 2007 at 23:26
“Why does it hurt when I pee?” Frank Zappa.
Duros62 said,
July 2, 2007 at 23:37
“Raindrops keep falling on my head”? BJ Thomas
Julie O. said,
July 2, 2007 at 23:39
Only Happy When It Rains, Garbage.
She Gotta Pee, Weird Al Yankovic.
Before The Next Teardrop Falls, Freddy Fender.
kobie said,
July 2, 2007 at 23:41
Guns and Roses, November Rain?
Duros62 said,
July 2, 2007 at 23:41
Rain O’er Me The Who
Goodbye Yellow Brick Road Elton John…what?
Fozzetti said,
July 2, 2007 at 23:44
Rainy Day Lovers? The Rain In Spain?
Julie O. said,
July 2, 2007 at 23:45
Just to put it over the top, Freddy Fender has his own water tower in San Benito Texas.
a different brad said,
July 2, 2007 at 23:49
The entire soundtrack to the Crow.
Pope Bandar bin Turtle said,
July 2, 2007 at 23:58
Raindrops keep falling on my head?
Todd Adamson said,
July 3, 2007 at 0:01
What? No Happy Flowers? Okay, pretty obscure atonal noise rock dealing with disturbing infantile themes, but still they did have a song called I Wet the Bed, Again. Not as good as Mom, I Gave the Cat Some Acid or Mom and Dad Like the Baby More Than Me, but what are you gonna do.
Pope Bandar bin Turtle said,
July 3, 2007 at 0:05
Who’ll Stop the Rain?
Rain (The Beatles):
If the rain comes they run and hide their heads.
They might as well be dead.
If the rain comes, if the rain comes.
Sounds like bedwetters to me! Rain as a metaphor for terrorists!! They hate us for our Beatles!!!
Jrod said,
July 3, 2007 at 0:06
Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Nights in White Satin by the Moody Blues; the full version with the horrible poetry reading at the end
Happiness is a Warm Gun by The Beatles
Piss On U by R. Kelly (by Dave Chappelle)
Haters wanna hate
Lovers wanna love
I don’t even want none of the above
I want to piss on you
dadanarchist said,
July 3, 2007 at 0:09
“Pay to Cum” – Bad Brains
Just kidding…. that songs awesome.
dougie smooth said,
July 3, 2007 at 0:12
uh, I’m confused. I thought Blogs4Brownback was a satirical site. Is bradrocket playing along, or is sisyphus the only blogger4brownback in on the joke?
Olaz said,
July 3, 2007 at 0:19
You should never have introduced me to this site. It may take over from y’all as my favorite place to go for a laugh. It’s a frickin’ glory hole.
R. V. Dump said,
July 3, 2007 at 0:32
“Golden Slumbers” – The Beatles
mas tarde said,
July 3, 2007 at 0:43
“wet wet wet!” – princess superstar
“slippery dick” – peaches
“wade in the water” – (spiritual)
“take me to the river” – talking heads
and
“hoover dam” – by sugar:
“If the Mississippi should wash me away
Down to New Orleans
Maybe someday in my dreams
I’d wake feeling the sweat
From the gulf in my mouth
…
Covered up with lava and I feel fine
It washes over me
Keeps me feeling warm at night
And if you’ve made a deal with
The guy with the horns and the cape
I’ll see you later later
Standing on the edge
Of the Hoover Dam
Standing on the edge
Of the Hoover Dam I am”
Snorghagen said,
July 3, 2007 at 0:43
When the Levee Breaks – covered by Led Zeppelin
Texas Flood – covered by Stevie Ray Vaughn
Yellow – Coldplay
and…
Why don’t you change your evil sheets, bay-beee…
(yeah, I know those aren’t really the words to Evil Ways, but sheeit.)
mikey said,
July 3, 2007 at 0:43
I really have nothing, but it seems to me that Frampton ought to be in here somewhere…
mikey
shane's dentist's attorney's bookie said,
July 3, 2007 at 0:56
rainy day sun by spinal tap
in her golden gossamer gown,
and a necklace of the finest rainbows,
drying out this rainy day town.
evilchemistry said,
July 3, 2007 at 1:25
Modest Mouse’s entire catalog. Oh fuck that, I’m nominating the whole of emo.
Jrod said,
July 3, 2007 at 1:30
How’s that song go? “Ooh, baby I love your spray…”
Here’s a couple more:
I Come From the Water by The Toadies
Vats of Urine by Dangerdoom
TRex said,
July 3, 2007 at 1:30
Modest Mouse’s first, crappy, Built-to-Spill-wannabe album.
TRex said,
July 3, 2007 at 1:32
Oh, I see that evilchemistry beat me to the punch.
The Crapture said,
July 3, 2007 at 1:36
i knew a guy who, years before his gig as a DJ at the strip club a few blocks from my apt, did a brief stint as a touring drummer for what may be one of the most fucked up musical acts to have ever crawled the face of the earth, so with that, i say The Mentors “Golden Showers”…
FatBastard said,
July 3, 2007 at 1:38
“Red Rain,” Peter Gabriel
“Purple Rain,” The Artist Formerly Known As and Now Known Again as Prince
Jon said,
July 3, 2007 at 1:48
Todd is right. The Happy Flowers belong here. I suggest I’m Gonna Have a Accident.
fardels bear said,
July 3, 2007 at 2:10
Randy Newman. “Louisiana, 1927″:
The river rose all day
The river rose all night
Some people got lost in the flood
Some people got away alright
The river have busted through clear down to Plaquemines
Six feet of water in the streets of Evangeline
evilchemistry said,
July 3, 2007 at 2:11
TRex
Cheers.
blue mole said,
July 3, 2007 at 2:32
Stone Temple Pilots – Wet My Bed
MCH said,
July 3, 2007 at 2:36
How about “I Don’t Wanna Go Down to the Basement”?
Happy Flowers
OMG. They were incredible, in their own little strange, difficult-to-listen-to way. Thanks for that college radio flashback.
I recall that nothing—and I mean nothing—on the same label as HF was anywhere near vaguely normal. Homestead, was it?
shell goddamnit said,
July 3, 2007 at 2:36
“Five Feet High and Risin”
Fishbone McGonigle said,
July 3, 2007 at 3:11
Dashboard Confessional is not rock.
mas tarde said,
July 3, 2007 at 3:41
oh yeah, there’s Van Morrison’s “TB Sheets”, which is actually a sad song about his girlfriend dying from tuberculosis, but it is about desecrated sheets, plus one time the song cued up while I was in my car desperately having to pee and no rest stops in sight and there’s this whole extended jam where Van is singing, *emotionally*, “GOTTA go! GOTTA go! gotta gotta gotta gotta go, gotta go, gotta go.” I may even have left out a couple gotta go’s.
chibi said,
July 3, 2007 at 5:30
“mama” by my chemical romance.
and yeah i fucking love that band. sue me. lol.
Andy said,
July 3, 2007 at 7:56
“Yellow River” – Lou Christie (?)
“Mellow Yellow” – Donovan
“Just a Song Before I Go” – Crosby Stills & Nash
“Accidents Will Happen” – Elvis Costello
M. Bouffant said,
July 3, 2007 at 7:57
The Mentors. (R. I. P. El Duce)
On a lighter note, bad haiku:
When you wet the bed,
First it is warm,
Then it is cold.
flawedplan said,
July 3, 2007 at 13:20
Yeah, Happy Flowers were on Homestead, that’s good classic rock.
Here we go:
Nick Drake: Poor Boy
Never sing for my supper
I never help my neighbour
Never do what is proper
For my share of labour.
I’m a poor boy
And I’m a rover
Count your coins and
Throw them over my shoulder
I may grow older
Nobody knows
How cold it grows
And nobody sees
How shaky my knees
Nobody cares
How steep my stairs
And nobody smiles
If I cross their stiles.
Oh poor boy
So sorry for himself
Oh poor boy
So worried for his health.
You may say every day
Where will he stay tonight.
Never know what I came for
Seems that I’ve forgotten
Never ask what I came for
Or how I was begotten.
I’m a poor boy
And I’m a ranger
Things I say
May seem stranger than Sunday
Changing to Monday.
Nobody knows
How cold it flows
And nobody feels
The worn down heels
Nobody’s eyes
Make the skies
Nobody spreads
Their aching heads.
Oh poor boy
So worried for his life
Oh poor boy
So keen to take a wife.
He’s a mess but he’ll say yes
If you just dress in white.
Nobody knows
How cold it blows
And nobody sees
How shaky my knees
Nobody cares
How steep my stairs
And nobody smiles
If you cross their stiles.
Oh poor boy
So sorry for himself
Oh poor boy
So worried for his health.
You may say every day
Where will he stay tonight.
Oh poor boy
So worried for his life
Oh poor boy
So keen to take a wife.
Oh poor boy
So sorry for himself
Oh poor boy
So worried for his health
Oh poor boy.
flawedplan said,
July 3, 2007 at 13:25
Nick Drake: Man in a Shed
Well there was a man who lived in a shed
Spent most of his days out of his head
For his shed was rotten let in the rain
Said it was enough to drive any man insane
When it rained
He felt so bad
When it snowed he felt just simply sad.
Well there was a girl who lived nearby
Whenever he saw her he could only simply sigh
But she lived in a house so very big and grand
For him it seemed like some very distant land
So when he called her
His shed to mend,
She said I’m sorry you’ll just have to find a friend.
Well this story is not so very new
But the man is me, yes and the girl is you
So leave your house come into my shed
Please stop my world from raining through my head
Please don’t think
I’m not your sort
You’ll find that sheds are nicer than you thought.
flawedplan said,
July 3, 2007 at 13:31
Nick Drake: Parasite
Lifting the mask from a local clown
Feeling down like him
Seeing the light in a station bar
And travelling far in sin
Sailing downstairs to the Northern Line
Watching the shine of the shoes
Hearing the trials of the people there
Who’s to care if they lose
Take a look you may see me on the ground
For I am the parasite of this town
Dancing a jig in a church with chimes
A sign of the times today
Hearing no bell from the steeple tall
People all in dismay
Falling so far on a silver spoon
Making the moon for fun
Changing a rope for a size too small
People all get hung
Take a look you may see me coming through
For I am the parasite who travels two by two
When lifting the mask from a local clown
And feeling down like him
And I’m seeing the light in a station bar
And travelling far in sin
And I’m sailing downstairs to the Northern Line
Watching the shine of the shoes
And hearing the trials of the people there
Who’s to care if they lose
Take a look you may see me on the ground
For I am the parasite of this town
And take a look you may see me in the dirt
For I am the parasite who hangs from your skirt
flawedplan said,
July 3, 2007 at 13:43
American Music Club Hula Maiden
Well I got into Waikiki
And I spend my time up in the hotel room
No sunburn for me
No friends no family
Yes I see the view
Well I think I seen it somewhere before
Curled up on the sand
Curled up on the floor
And the hula maiden says
I’ll give you everything for free
You’re as hungry as the tide
That’s drowning me
Well I took my big free ride
I went out to the big barbecue
And I got smashed on the beach
I was thinking about you
This is my big aloha
Brought to you from the volcano state
Where they serve up your soul
For $3.99 a plate
And the hula maiden says
I’ll give you everything for free
Oh sugar you’re as hungry as the tide
That’s washing over me
And the hula maiden said
Oh darling I see it in your eyes
Well did you do it over here beautiful
Did you come here to die
Well she said did you come here to buy
Well this my big aloha
Coming to you from the volcano state
Where they lose track of your soul
And never bring you your spaghetti plate
flawedplan said,
July 3, 2007 at 13:47
AMC: How many six-packs does it take to screw in a light?
I never had a lot to bring to the party
But a self-importance far beyond vanity
And a manic depression that just wouldn’t go away
Like Peckinpah with a bouquet of poison ivy
How many six packs does it take to screw in a light
It’s good to be alive baby, sometimes it’s alright
Nothing like a little vacation once in awhile
At the Cable Car Hotel San Francisco style
For three nights and three days
Jesus hung on a boom box while it played
Every single song ever sung by Billie Holiday
How many six packs does it take to screw in a light
It’s good to be alive baby, sometimes it’s alright
Afterwards I’m on California Street looking at the sky
The sun is going down pouring salt into my eyes
Like he said: When the light goes out so does fear
And you only see beauty as it begins to disappear
How many six packs does it take to screw in a light
It’s good to be alive baby, sometimes it’s alright
flawedplan said,
July 3, 2007 at 13:50
AMC: I am Fassbinder
god help me i think i’m about to die
and guess what i wasted my whole life
all the times i hurt you with my lies
can you see any sunlight left in my eyes
that’s why i had to push you away
can you find something in me to love
Spirula said,
July 3, 2007 at 15:08
“Happy when it rains” Jesus and Mary Chain.
BigHank53 said,
July 3, 2007 at 19:09
“Uncontrollable Urge” by Devo
“They Saved Hitler’s Cock” by The Angry Samoans
“Golden Shower of hits” by The Circle Jerks (okay, it’s an album title)
“We’ve Got A Bigger Problem Now” by Dead Kennedys
Christ, do I ever feel dated now.
Principal Blackman said,
July 3, 2007 at 19:35
“I Can’t Stand the Rain”–Ann Peebles
sal said,
July 4, 2007 at 3:36
Rusty Bedsprings
by I. P. Bynite
Luna said,
July 4, 2007 at 7:47
“Wake me up before you go-go” Wham.
Well, I guess that’d be for Brad’s S.O.. :)
Nullifidian said,
July 5, 2007 at 10:18
“Here Comes the Rain Again” – Eurhythmics
Roger Ailes said,
July 5, 2007 at 19:41
Anything by Master P.