Comments on: Dick Cheney Is So Secretive …

By: Kip W

Kip W — Fri, 06 Jul 2007 02:25:19 +0000

Dick Cheney is so secretive, he talks about himself in the fourth person.
Dick Cheney may be so secretive, but we’re not sure.
Dick Cheney is so secretive, his lolcats have no captions at all.

By: Poetry

Poetry — Wed, 04 Jul 2007 16:47:38 +0000

By the way, what is Cheney’s Borg Identity? FUtus of Borg. In Borg lore FUtus is often depicted as offering the Borg symbol of unity to the masses.

Who else in the administration has a Borg identity? Why there’s Alberto Gonzalez whose Borg identity is Refutus which means: It’s not my fault.

What about Bush himself? He is known as BigDoofus of Borg. Well actually BigDoofus of half wit because the Borg refused to give Bush a Borg identity. Even the Borg failed to find a brain in that head. Since they could find no brain, the Borg implants failed to take root in BigDoofus of halfwit. Nevertheless, the Borg in an uncharacteristic show of compassion allowed Bush to glue “falsies”—fake Borg implants onto his person after he let it be known that he thought Borg implants “looked cool.”

Note there are other Borg identities out there.

Rush is known as BigGlutus of Borg.

Ann is known as ShrillShrewtus of Borg.

All of those senators who are crying over their recent losses in the immigration battles are collectively known as BooHootus of Borg.

By: Ed Sanders

Ed Sanders — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 04:11:33 +0000

Dick Cheney is so secretive that everyday he manages to sneak into the National Archives carrying GWB on his back, pisses on the Constitution, and sneaks out without the Washington press corps or anyone on Capitol Hill realizing he’s done it.
(Sadly, they aren’t that tough to get one over on, no matter how big it is.)

By: Emily

Emily — Wed, 27 Jun 2007 01:58:38 +0000

Dick Cheney is so secretive that he looks better in a Miracle Bra than Tyra Banks, Heidi Klum OR Gisele Bundchen.

Dick Cheney is so secretive that his undisclosed location is actually a fictional garden in Yorkshire.

By: Pope Impious XXIII

Pope Impious XXIII — Tue, 26 Jun 2007 15:25:27 +0000

Dick Cheney is so secretive that he goes commando because he has already classified his own briefs..

By: Marion in Savannah

Marion in Savannah — Tue, 26 Jun 2007 01:32:24 +0000

Dick Cheney is so secretive that even Santa Claus doesn’t know if he’s been naughty or nice.

(I was unaware until I typed that sentence that Santa was a Republican….anyone else would KNOW that Darth Cheney is never nice…)

By: Duros62

Duros62 — Mon, 25 Jun 2007 21:55:15 +0000

Dick Cheney is so secretive, he had Ceiling Cat killed so there’d be no witnesses.

NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

By: va

va — Mon, 25 Jun 2007 20:11:30 +0000

Dick Cheney is so secretive mirrors don’t reflect his image.

By: LostSailor

LostSailor — Mon, 25 Jun 2007 20:09:33 +0000

Dick Cheney is so secretive that not even light escapes from him.

By: BChurch

BChurch — Mon, 25 Jun 2007 19:28:23 +0000

Here’s another round:

Dick Cheney is so secretive, his lawyer’s name is “Kobayashi”.

Dick Cheney is so secretive, he files his tax returns under “Senior Level Administration Staffer”.

Dick Cheney is so secretive, that when he falls in the woods, no one knows whether he makes a sound or not.

By: Charles

Charles — Mon, 25 Jun 2007 17:34:27 +0000

Dick Cheney is so secretive that:

1. he can’t tell the real reasons he does anything.
2. he won’t tell anyone who works for him … including the people who work for him.
3. the only true words he’s ever spoken have been threats.
4. nobody even knows what branch of the government he’s in.

Damn. Those would have been funny, if only they’d been exaggerations.

By: fish

fish — Mon, 25 Jun 2007 15:11:12 +0000

DIck Cheney is so secretive that Lynne Cheney does not know who the father of her children are.

Dick Cheney is so secretive that undercover is not far enough, he has to go undermattress.

Dick Cheney is so secretive that he tells one person the joke and another the punchline.

By: zebbidies spring

zebbidies spring — Mon, 25 Jun 2007 11:50:03 +0000

Dick Cheney is so secretive that the little Baby Jesus is not sure whether he should be crying or not.

By: zebbidies spring

zebbidies spring — Mon, 25 Jun 2007 11:47:30 +0000

Dick Cheney is so secretive he is not allowing late posters to read the earlier jokes thus making them look lame when they use the same ones. Thus he plans to embarrass the left into supporting Hilary Clinton. Who he secretly is.

By: Worst. President. Ever.

Worst. President. Ever. — Mon, 25 Jun 2007 11:34:43 +0000

Dick Cheney is so secretive the Secret Service can’t find him.

Dick Cheney is so secretive that he’s guarded by the Secretive Service.

By: Moxie

Moxie — Mon, 25 Jun 2007 09:01:41 +0000

Oh! We were supposed to make a joke. Silly me. Um, how about, “Dick Cheney is so secretive that his mother spent four days in labor, and they finally had to coax him out with a guarantee of immunity from prosecution.”

Probably for being Hermann Goering in a past life.

By: Moxie

Moxie — Mon, 25 Jun 2007 08:59:16 +0000

How could so many people be so wrong? Isn’t it obvious? Dick Cheney is so secretive in order to keep the details of the ongoing Constitutional coup from emerging, thereby alerting the public and the media to the threat he poses to American liberty. Jeez, you people…

By: Stlinquirer

Stlinquirer — Mon, 25 Jun 2007 07:05:23 +0000

Dick Cheney is so secretive that no one notices when he manipulates his life-size ventriloquist dummy.

Dick Cheney is so secretive that the Total Information Awareness Office had to change its name once it realized they couldn’t be aware of Dick Cheney.

Dick Cheney is so secretive, he is strong enough for a man but made for a woman.

Dick Cheney is so secretive that he could sneak up on Chuck Norris.

Dick Cheney is so secretive that you can’t ever know his momentum nor his location, much less both (as if he’d be less secretive than a subatomic particle)

(or DIck Cheney is so secretive that the variability in attempts to measure him is infinite).

Dick Cheney is so secretive that it is impossible to know how secretive he truly is.

Dick Cheney is so secretive that he actually authored this post to distract the Left from finding out how secretive he is.

Dick Cheney is so secretive that not even he knows where he goes when he goes to his secret undiclosed locaiton.

By: Kevin

Kevin — Mon, 25 Jun 2007 06:26:02 +0000

-Dick Cheney is so secretive, only other Gods know his plan.

-Dick Cheney is so secretive, because the Democrats would not allow him to do good otherwise.

-Dick Cheney is so secretive, wait, no he isn’t! What are you guys talking about?

By: Dee Loralei

Dee Loralei — Mon, 25 Jun 2007 06:10:57 +0000

Dick Cheney is so secretive, his undisclosed location is Atlantis, or in the Bermuda Triangle.

And LOL at Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Principle.

… In the same vein… Dick Cheney is so secretive he won’t tell you what happened to Schroedinger’s Cat.