May
15

God Kills Falwell




Posted at 20:28 by Gavin M.

From Jerry Falwell’s book, America Can Be Saved:

I hope I live to see the day when, as in the early days of our country, we won’t have any public schools. The churches will have taken them over again and Christians will be running them. What a happy day that will be!

Sadly, No.

Falwell dies at age 73
LYNCHBURG, Virginia (AP) — The Rev. Jerry Falwell has died, a Liberty University executive said Tuesday. He was 73.

Earlier, the executive said Falwell was hospitalized in “gravely serious” condition after being found unconscious in his office.

fallwell.jpg
Above: Fall well, departed traveler

Steve at The Carpetbagger Report has assembled a collection of Falwell’s greatest hits:

August 1980: After Southern Baptist Convention President Bailey Smith tells a Dallas Religious Right gathering that “God Almighty does not hear the prayer of a Jew,� Falwell gives a similar view. “I do not believe,� he told reporters, “that God answers the prayer of any unredeemed Gentile or Jew.� After a meeting with an American Jewish Committee rabbi, he changed course, telling an interviewer on NBC’s “Meet the Press� that “God hears the prayers of all persons…. God hears everything.�

July 1984: Falwell is forced to pay gay activist Jerry Sloan $5,000 after losing a court battle. During a TV debate in Sacramento, Falwell denied calling the gay-oriented Metropolitan Community Churches “brute beasts� and “a vile and Satanic system� that will “one day be utterly annihilated and there will be a celebration in heaven.� When Sloan insisted he had a tape, Falwell promised $5,000 if he could produce it. Sloan did so, Falwell refused to pay and Sloan successfully sued. Falwell appealed, with his attorney charging that the Jewish judge in the case was prejudiced. He lost again and was forced to pay an additional $2,875 in sanctions and court fees.

October 1987: The Federal Election Commission fines Falwell for transferring $6.7 million in funds intended for his ministry to political committees.

[...]

February 1993: The Internal Revenue Service determines that funds from Falwell’s Old Time Gospel Hour program were illegally funneled to a political action committee. The IRS forced Falwell to pay $50,000 and retroactively revoked the Old Time Gospel Hour’s tax-exempt status for 1986-87.

[...]

1994-1995: Falwell is criticized for using his “Old Time Gospel Hour� to hawk a scurrilous video called “The Clinton Chronicles� that makes a number of unsubstantiated charges against President Bill Clinton — among them that he is a drug addict and that he arranged the murders of political enemies in Arkansas. Despite claims he had no ties to the project, evidence surfaced that Falwell helped bankroll the venture with $200,000 paid to a group called Citizens for Honest Government (CHG). CHG’s Pat Matrisciana later admitted that Falwell and he staged an infomercial interview promoting the video in which a silhouetted reporter said his life was in danger for investigating Clinton. (Matrisciana himself posed as the reporter.) “That was Jerry’s idea to do that,� Matrisciana recalled. “He thought that would be dramatic.�

November 1997: Falwell accepts $3.5 million from a front group representing controversial Korean evangelist Sun Myung Moon to ease Liberty University’s financial woes.

[...]

September 2001: Falwell blames Americans for the 9/11 terrorist attacks. “The abortionists have got to bear some burden for this because God will not be mocked. And when we destroy 40 million little innocent babies, we make God mad. I really believe that the Pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People For the American Way, all of them who have tried to secularize America. I point the finger in their face and say, ‘You helped this happen.’�

[...]

February 2007: Falwell describes global warming as a conspiracy orchestrated by Satan, liberals, and The Weather Channel.

We wish the best to Falwell’s family and associates, noting in prayer that Pat Robertson remains at large.

Greatest-hits bonus tracks:

Falwell on Brown v. Board of Education: “If Chief Justice Warren and his associates had known God’s word and had desired to do the Lord’s will, I am quite confident that the 1954 decision would never have been made…. The facilities should be separate. When God has drawn a line of distinction, we should not attempt to cross that line.�

We look forward to encomia from Thomas Sowell, Alan Keyes, and other commentators of distinction.

Below: “Blow them all away in the name of the Lord.”

149 Comments »

  1. Snowwy said,

    May 15, 2007 at 20:31

    I said it in my blog already, so forgive me for saying it here…

    Well, perhaps as fertilizer he’ll actually do some good, now.

    I cannot speak well or restrainedly in his death about a man who spent his life trying to subjugate me to his twisted, sick will. Don’t even think about asking me to. He was filth, and I can only be glad he’s finally gone after all the damage he’s done to my country.

  2. Dave said,

    May 15, 2007 at 20:41

    I want to feel bad for Falwell and his kin. I want to feel sadness at his death.

    Really, I do.

  3. Xel said,

    May 15, 2007 at 20:43

    Sympathies to the family. As always.

    But also sympathies to any who were capable of voluntarily investing any emotion in his being alive. Sympathies both for his passing and their utter lack of taste.

  4. Simba B. said,

    May 15, 2007 at 20:44

    This is an interesting site that was posted on a friend of mine’s LiveJournal. As someone commented there, it speaks volumes that Jerry’s legions of mouth-breathers totally miss the romantic and emotional aspect of same-sex attraction.

    God, you wonder if these people are even human sometimes…are they even capable of loving anyone?

  5. JK47 said,

    May 15, 2007 at 20:44

    I want to feel sadness at his death.

    I’m more sad about his life.

  6. DrDick said,

    May 15, 2007 at 20:47

    Praise the Lord in his infinite wisdom for he has delivered us from our tormentor and has smitten the unrighteous and the idolator. If the teachings that the (ir)Rev. Falwell are true, then he is in for mighty and unpleasant suprise. Let’s just hope he likes warm weather.

  7. Robert Green said,

    May 15, 2007 at 20:48

    no sympathies for anyone connected to him. he blackened the ground on which he walked with hate and calumny against his fellow humans at a level damn near the top. he consigned with his words and his actions terrible pain and suffering to multitudes of people who cared not about him or his insane belief system. to those in his family who publicly repudiated him and know dance on his grave singing hallelulah–i share your joy. to anyone else who feels even the slightly tinge of regret over uncle jerry i say a pox on your house.

  8. Col. Klink said,

    May 15, 2007 at 20:51

    May he join Osama bin Laden and other rightwing religious wack-jobs in Paradise.

  9. Candy said,

    May 15, 2007 at 20:52

    I think I’ll go rent “The People vs. Larry Flynt” in order to enjoy another of Falwell’s golden moments…

    I try to not celebrate anyone’s death, but you know, maybe this means a few old people won’t be robbed of their social security checks, thinking that by mailing off their scant monies to that snake oil selling bastard they’re going to get dibs on heaven.

  10. t4toby said,

    May 15, 2007 at 20:53

    I hope he finds peace wherever he went, because he certainly wasn’t interested in it here…

  11. JK47 said,

    May 15, 2007 at 20:56

    I wonder what Tinky Winky is feeling right now.

  12. Ann Althouse's Right Breast said,

    May 15, 2007 at 20:57

    I think Heather Duke said it best:

    I prayed for the death of Heather Chandler many times and I felt bad everytime I did it but I kept doing it anyway. Now I know you understood everything. Praise Jesus, Hallelujah.

  13. Ann Althouse's Right Breast said,

    May 15, 2007 at 20:58

    I wonder what Tinky Winky is feeling right now.

    His tinky winky?

  14. Colleen said,

    May 15, 2007 at 20:58

    I’m glad he’s dead and I don’t feel one iota of guilt for saying so. He was a horrible human being and he should have died much much sooner. Since I don’t go for that heaven/hell thing I take solace in knowing that he didn’t live to see another wonderful summertime. Ah, who even knows if he appreciated the finer things in life, he was filled with hatred. Good riddance to him.

  15. mikey said,

    May 15, 2007 at 20:59

    I always looked forward to pissing on Ariel Sharon’s grave. Since he continues to hover in the grey area between, such that they can’t just go ahead and put him in the ground, think maybe I’ll just take a little road trip down to the Falwell crypt.

    Hey, ya gotta go, ya gotta GO!!

    mikey

  16. Legalize said,

    May 15, 2007 at 21:03

    The man was a hateful, biggoted, hypocritical cretin who did more harm in this world than good. If there are people connected to him who are not genuine scumbags, I suppose that I am sorry for them.

    In any event, I’ve already stated my position: Yanks/ChiSox this evening, accompanied by 2 or 3 delicious Blue Moons.

  17. Brando said,

    May 15, 2007 at 21:07

    The Jack Chick track image is just too perfect.

    If this man had put half as much effort into charity as he did into condemnation, he would have had a hell of a life.

  18. a different brad said,

    May 15, 2007 at 21:07

    I’m glad he’s dead for a very simple reason; he made the planet worse for his presence. That’s just honest and pragmatic.
    It’s hoping he suffered that makes me a dick, but I’ll live, n he won’t.

  19. professor fate said,

    May 15, 2007 at 21:09

    I will not piss on Falwell’s grave.

    I hate waiting in line.

  20. Some Guy said,

    May 15, 2007 at 21:13

    Yeah, I to find it very hard to not take at least some satisfaction in the death of a horrible person, hell-bent on destroying America and rising up a Christian Theocratic Empire.

    The only thing that would have made this better would if he had died while getting a blowjob from an under-aged black hooker.

  21. Righteous Bubba said,

    May 15, 2007 at 21:14

    God Kills Falwell

    I blame the baby Jeezis.

  22. Dr. Squid said,

    May 15, 2007 at 21:19

    I would just like to say that Larry Flynt outlived Jerry Falwell.

    That’s justice.

  23. ironicname said,

    May 15, 2007 at 21:25

    Fallwell has fallen. About god damned time.
    I hope this is the start of a trend. I just wish this story had read:
    Earlier, the executive said Falwell was hospitalized in “gravely seriousâ€? condition after being found unconscious in his office. Witness claim that he was found nearly nude, wearing a leather dog collar and ball gag, with a feather duster inserted into his rectum. First responders report numerous issues of the gay-themed periodical “Leather Boys” strewn about the room.
    Mr. I.M. O’Tool, ministry spokesperson issued this statement: “Dr. Fallwell often engaged in research into unbiblical lifestyles so that his ministry could be more effective reaching out to those in search of Christ’s salvation”

    All in all I can live with this minor disappointment.

  24. Joe Morgan said,

    May 15, 2007 at 21:28

    I will mourn today. I will mourn all those young people who were murdered in Iraq while Falwell and his minions cheered on the rapture. I will mourn those gay teenagers who killed themselves because their Falwell addled parents wouldn’t accept them. I will mourn those elderly people who died because they sent off the money they needed for medicine to Falwell so he could live like a King. That’s who I will mourn today.

  25. a different brad said,

    May 15, 2007 at 21:30

    Sign back in with your real name, Joe. It’s just spooky seeing eloquence under that name.

  26. ichomobothogogus said,

    May 15, 2007 at 21:31

    considering the unrelenting negative tone of the comments thread so far i feel its important to take what might be an unpopular position and celebrate the good things jerry falwell accomplished in his life rather than concentrating too much on the bad.

    err…….

    anyone care to help me out here?

  27. Joe Morgan said,

    May 15, 2007 at 21:31

    Then think of the Joe Morgan that brought the Red Sox back from extinction in 1988.

  28. Legalize said,

    May 15, 2007 at 21:36

    “anyone care to help me out here?”

    I understand that Falwell was a superlative parallel-parker. Being a student of the city-driving arts, I can appreciate that

  29. BD III said,

    May 15, 2007 at 21:39

    I’d like to think that in one way or another, I’d say he’s in for a very rude awakening… in heaven or hell, balls deep in gays, muslims and everyone else or at least the breifest moment of realizing that it was all a bunch of bullshit, if he hadn’t already, before falling back into that great cosmic nothingness of nonbeing.

  30. RubDMC said,

    May 15, 2007 at 21:43

    Yeah, well, just wait 3 days…

  31. BD III said,

    May 15, 2007 at 21:44

    Or maybe 28 Days Later…. or, wait.. now its 28 Months.

  32. a different brad said,

    May 15, 2007 at 21:47

    Off topic, sort of, but I have to share a line from a Hot Air post I got to by way of da alicublog.
    Bryan- “If you want to talk about the Crusades, well, they were defensive wars against imperialist Muslims who were spreading Islam by the sword.”
    Linky

    Apparently it’s also wrongwrongWRONG to conflate Robertson, n Falwell, and jihadis. Cause Bryan says so. Nevermind the shared antisemitism or fear of modernity or long history of violent acts. Just focus on how the fictional character Christ wasn’t like the historical man Mohammed.

  33. The Real Joe Morgan said,

    May 15, 2007 at 21:50

    Well, I can’t comment on Falwell’s death because I didn’t see him live much. I played for the Cincinatti Reds. Dave Concepcion should be in the Hall of Fame.

  34. JK47 said,

    May 15, 2007 at 21:51

    Cue the trolls telling us what creeps we are because we’re being snarky about Falwell’s death. Fuck ‘em, I say.

  35. solitary, poor, nasty, brutish, and short said,

    May 15, 2007 at 21:51

    Why is everybody so happy about this? No suffering, no wasting away, no begging his confidants to nevermind his position on Schiavo and pull the plug because the pain is so excruciating–fucker just keeled over with a bum ticker. Only way his death could’ve been more merciful is if he had been asleep.

    More evidence supporting my thesis, “God: nonexistent or a total dick”

  36. Worst. President. Ever. said,

    May 15, 2007 at 21:54

    Here’s a plan: let’s wait a few weeks and then all go piss on his grave.

  37. Joe Morgan said,

    May 15, 2007 at 22:00

    Why do I think there is a new South Park episode being rushed to Comedy Central as we speak?

  38. The Flickertail Journal » Jerry Falwell Dies: A Progressive Blog About North Dakota Politics, Culture, and Life said,

    May 15, 2007 at 22:09

    [...] Falwell is dead. Is it safe for Tinky Winky to come out of the closet? [...]

  39. not the senator said,

    May 15, 2007 at 22:18

    I can’t help it. The very first image that popped in my mind when I heard the news, was that Satan’s boyfriend on South Park, the late Saddam Hussein, may now have some competition for Satan’s affection

  40. Albatross said,

    May 15, 2007 at 22:21

    Falwell was successful in giving me religion: at least, this atheist hopes that Falwell was right about there being a harsh judgment after death…

  41. billy pilgrim said,

    May 15, 2007 at 22:40

    mikey, I’m coming along; and I’ll pop for the first barrel of beer to fuel the proceedings.

  42. js said,

    May 15, 2007 at 22:46

    It’s so rare to have good news in the headlines.
    While it’s impossible to believe that someone like Falwell was anything but completely cynical about the garbage he peddled, his bigotry was obviously sincere. If he’d had his way, is there doubt in anyone’s mind that we would have seen concentration camps in the US for anyone he considered undesirable? It’s the fault of millions of ignorant Americans that he was able to reach the position of power that he did, and by proxy it’s the fault of the educated classes in the US for failing to lift those millions out of their depraved ignorance. In any case, another head will spring up to replace this one: There’s always a following to be gained by spewing hate. Still, I guess we can allow ourselves a smile that this one’s in the ground, his work not yet finished.

  43. KnaveRupe said,

    May 15, 2007 at 22:46

    Little-known fact:

    Fallwell’s Liberty “University” is the number one safety school for people not smart enough to get into Pat Robertson’s 4th-tier Regent “University”.

    It’s true! Look it up!

  44. Gerald Fnord said,

    May 15, 2007 at 22:56

    If memory serves, once upon a time Rev. Fundamentally Oral Bill asked his followers to pray and donate money so that God would call Falwell, Robertson etc home. Glad to see it’s finally starting to work.

  45. Simba B. said,

    May 15, 2007 at 22:56

    Fallwell’s Liberty “University� is the number one safety school for people not smart enough to get into Pat Robertson’s 4th-tier Regent “University�.

    I fail to see the distinction. I would wager 90% of the graduates of both “institutions” are home-schooled for 12 years, study law with a minor in Bibleology at Wingnut U., then get a job in the Bush Administration. Anyone who has seen Jesus Camp knows I’m not that far off.

    You wouldn’t think it possible to be that sheltered, but there they are…

  46. Herm said,

    May 15, 2007 at 22:58

    Somehow I feel ashamed because I really felt relieved when I read the news about his death….

  47. Herr Doktor Bimler said,

    May 15, 2007 at 23:07

    Funny old world, innit. 5 days ago, Ian Paisley — 81-year-old evangelist, opponent of civil rights for catholics, sworn enemy of the IRA — shakes hands with IRA members, shares jokes and sits down in power-sharing Northern Ireland assembly.
    The moral is that Falwell could have changed at any time from being an evil lie-spouting shitbag — it’s never too late, and all that.

    Process a pint for me.

  48. billy pilgrim said,

    May 15, 2007 at 23:18

    The trolls who complain that we’re dancing on his grave can all go apologize to Rachel Corrie first.

  49. ichomobothogogus said,

    May 15, 2007 at 23:23

    shorter Peter the Hermit: we have to fight the saracens in Palestine so we don’t have to fight them over here

  50. Realist said,

    May 15, 2007 at 23:40

    Here’s a plan: let’s wait a few weeks and then all go piss on his grave.

    What, like the line will have died down by then? Dream on.

  51. ike said,

    May 15, 2007 at 23:46

    Concepcion is a god and spits on the hall.

  52. D. Aristophanes said,

    May 15, 2007 at 23:59

    To all you celebrating Falwell’s demise … the destruction wreaked by that fat finger-wagging fool is by no means over.

    Several acres of old-growth forest will no doubt be felled to encase his corpulent form in a coffin, which will then be buried in some extravagant and decadent mausoleum constructed from all manner of strip-mined materials and located on a patch of lawn requiring enormously wasteful amounts of water and chemical contaminants to maintain.

    In roughly 1,000 years, the black density of his heart, which rendered it indigestible by worms and other organic instruments of decay, will have caused it to sink slowly through the crust of the Earth, down past the mantle and into the deep core, where its presence will reverse the magnetic field of the planet, causing it to careen into the Sun, which will then go supernova, setting off a chain reaction throughout the Milky Way and beyond, destroying all life in the Universe.

    Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

  53. Jillian said,

    May 16, 2007 at 0:01

    God damn, I am glad that motherfucker is dead.

    I have never once in my life celebrated the death of another human being. When Reagan died and I felt mildly gleeful about it, I felt mildly guilty as well. This time, there’s not even a teensy smidge of guilt.

    I am having a party tonight, with cake and ice cream. The world is absolutely a better place today.

    Gavin, your piece was lovely (as usual), but perhaps a bit remiss in pointing out that Falwell thought that “Ellen Degenerate” was both witty and an appropriate thing for a man of God to say.

    Fuck that motherfucker. Seriously. I wish I weren’t an atheist, so that I could believe he would spend eternity in hell, locked in a cell with Ronald Reagan, desperately craving gay sex with him but unable to ever have it.

    Fuck him.

  54. R.L.Page said,

    May 16, 2007 at 0:02

    Some Guy said,
    May 15, 2007 at 21:13

    The only thing that would have made this better would if he had died while getting a blowjob from an under-aged black hooker.

    And how do we know that isn’t exactly what happened ? …

    But I can’t help but think of poor Michael Medved; he must be inconsolable.

  55. Jillian said,

    May 16, 2007 at 0:06

    I know, my dear Aristophanes, that the death of Falwell changes nothing.

    Celebrating his death (for me, at least) isn’t political. It’s personal. I fucking hate that piece of shit. The country’s still fucked – but at least that asshole is gone AT LAST!

    Here, dearie – have some cake. I have ice cream, too. And beer. And sushi. Help me celebrate! Bring the music.

  56. Heavy Metal Librarian » Blog Archive » Proof that God Has a Sense of Humor said,

    May 16, 2007 at 0:09

    [...] Jerry Falwell is pushing up daisies. [...]

  57. AkaDad said,

    May 16, 2007 at 0:09

    All I’m saying is, Bill Clinton better have an alibi…

  58. mikey said,

    May 16, 2007 at 0:12

    ‘Sokay, Jillian. I myself set aside my own belief system in order to indulge in a little biblical revenge fantasy.

    And the lord sayeth it is good…

    mikey

  59. a different brad said,

    May 16, 2007 at 0:12

    Just to share, I’ve been told by a friend that the vast jewish conspiracy in nyc is overjoyed at the news. To quote, “now it’ll be that much easier for us to conspire in secret.”
    I like my friend.

  60. The Crapture said,

    May 16, 2007 at 0:23

    As a formerly religious person who experienced the reverse of Falwell’s epiphany (i was devout until i discovered diversion and debauchery) in my late teens, i think his lack of compassion will be the millstone around his neck that drags him to that place he so seemingly loved to assume waited for those not like himself.

    Matthew 6:5“And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say unto you, They have their reward.”
    (see also Matthew 7:20-23; and most especially Matthew 25:34-46) ["Whatsoever you do to the least of my brothers, you do unto me"]

    He became wealthy and powerful by feeding to and feeding from the hatred and division in the world, i don’t think it in poor taste that he should reap the sort of misery he’s sown

  61. Jillian said,

    May 16, 2007 at 0:31

    Oh, and to continue the celebration of his death, I think I’ll watch some porn later tonight.

    I’m not really much of a pr0n fan, honestly, but tonight is a special occasion.

    I just don’t think there are enough words in the English language to fully capture the degree of loathing I have for this man. I only hope to someday be lucky enough to actually be able to piss on his grave.

  62. Karl Rove II said,

    May 16, 2007 at 0:32

    Yo BD III,

    That was pretty naive of Nicole to assume people wouldn’t use his death as an excuse to vent…

    I suspect if Jerry had died slowly he still wouldn’t have learned compassion or humility…he was that much of an asshat.

  63. Karl Rove II said,

    May 16, 2007 at 0:35

    Herr Doktor Bimler said,
    May 15, 2007 at 23:07

    He stays alive by feeding off the high of media exposure…sort of like an emotional vampire. You can bet the minute people stop paying attention to him he’ll revert to form asap.

  64. Lesley said,

    May 16, 2007 at 0:36

    If there is a God, Falwell will spend eternity in Rowan Atkinson’s Welcome to Hell sketch.

    The Devil: I am the Devil, but you can call me Toby. We try to keep things informal around here…as well as infernal.
    [chuckles]

    That’s uh, a little joke. I tell it every time.

    Are there any questions? Yes? No, I’m afraid we don’t have any toilets. If had read your bible, you might have seen it was damnation WITHOUT relief.

  65. Righteous Bubba said,

    May 16, 2007 at 0:45

    Long long ago I watched an episode of Donahue in which the subject was missile defense. Falwell was a guest, evidently for his expertise in smiting.

    Falwell rose because media types “balanced” any idea with any loon available. Are things different yet?

  66. Otto Man said,

    May 16, 2007 at 0:47

    As I noted at my place, you’ve got to wonder how John McCain is reacting to this right now. McCain traded in his integrity and his maverick image in order to win over Falwell’s support, and now he has neither.

    Well done, Johnny. Well done.

  67. Herr Doktor Bimler said,

    May 16, 2007 at 0:49

    I only hope to someday be lucky enough to actually be able to piss on his grave.
    Lobby your city leaders to dedicate a public toilet as the Jerry Falwell Memorial Urinal.

  68. Legalize said,

    May 16, 2007 at 1:01

    I couldn’t help myself:

    http://littlegreenfootballs.com/weblog/?entry=25495_RIP_Jerry_Falwell#comments

    –If one is interested in the views of the delusional and paranoid at a time like this.

  69. Jillian said,

    May 16, 2007 at 1:02

    Fred Phelps will be at Jerry Falwell’s funeral, apparently.

    Couldn’t happen to a more deserving bag of shit. I think I almost want to be there to see that happen.

  70. D. Aristophanes said,

    May 16, 2007 at 1:05

    And over at LGF, it’s Donna out of the gate with the early lead:

    #6 Dianna 5/15/2007 10:42:31 am PDT

    Rest in peace.

    I didn’t always agree with him, and he said some things I wish he hadn’t, but he walked his talk, and cared more for the poor and sick and hurt than all the liberals who will only recall the sillier things he said.

  71. D. Aristophanes said,

    May 16, 2007 at 1:06

    Sorry, Dianna … contrary to popular belief, the preview button wouldn’t have helped, but more coffee might have.

  72. mikey said,

    May 16, 2007 at 1:09

    I followed Legalize’s link over to see what LGF was up to. Haven’t been over there in at least a year. Appears the current codeword is MSM. Anybody they don’t agree with is “influenced by the MSM”. The lesson here is LGF is the font of all truth, and if it’s on tv and you don’t agree with it, it’s a lie. I think there’s a clinical definition of “delusional” in there somewhere…

    mikey

  73. D. Aristophanes said,

    May 16, 2007 at 1:14

    Teh Dumb is growing exponentially at LGF:

    #50 mglazer 5/15/2007 10:57:33 am PDT

    If you are too close minded to respect someone who doesnt beleive in gay sex you are not being very mature – open minded adults who are mature are able to respect other people with other opinions and beliefs that are respectful as well

    Irony has officially collapsed in on itself.

  74. Jillian said,

    May 16, 2007 at 1:17

    Well, if you are too close minded to respect someone who doesn’t believe in not believing in gay sex, YOU are not being very mature!

  75. BD III said,

    May 16, 2007 at 1:19

    Karl Rove II——–

    Ha! Damn these intertoobz are small.

    Agreed. It’s like they’re a little tweaked at the idea that someone from outside the clubhouse might peek in and see everyone running around in their underwear or something.

    The Reich-wingers will certainly troll for the more turd-colored comments about this death, and use em to point the finger, sure. But so what. If no one said any of it, they’d just make it up anyway.

    All that “bad for the brand” bullshit. I can understand where they’re coming from, but I don’t care for it. Nope.

  76. Lesley said,

    May 16, 2007 at 1:21

    The koolaid they drink has got a lot of stupid in it.

  77. D. Aristophanes said,

    May 16, 2007 at 1:22

    Jillian – actually “not believing in gay sex” would solve the problem, wouldn’t it? Like, presto! there’s no such thing as gay sex! Christian fundies can stand down and leave the rest of us alone!

  78. a different brad said,

    May 16, 2007 at 1:27

    You can’t even parody such thick stupidity.
    I believe in gay sex. My roommate way back in frosh year of undergrad definitively proved its existence for me. Who knew he was helping me avoid an existential crisis down the road.

  79. Screamin' Demon said,

    May 16, 2007 at 1:29

    I will not piss on Falwell’s grave.

    Nor will I. It’d be a waste of perfectly good piss.

  80. Jillian said,

    May 16, 2007 at 1:29

    And then we could, y’know, not believe in fundie Christians, and what a better world it would suddenly be! ;)

    On a personal note, I no longer believe in Scott Stapp.

  81. SamFromUtah said,

    May 16, 2007 at 1:30

    I haven’t paid much attention to the Fundie Follies in recent years – was Falwell much of a player, still? I thought the influence had shifted over to Dobson and, um, that other guy.

  82. mikey said,

    May 16, 2007 at 1:31

    If you are too close minded to respect someone who doesnt beleive in gay sex you are not being very mature – open minded adults who are mature are able to respect other people with other opinions and beliefs that are respectful as well

    Dammit, now you’ve done it. I need to get on the road and my head just exploded. Get over here right now, young man, and help me clean up this mess. Scoot!

    mikey

  83. a different brad said,

    May 16, 2007 at 1:32

    And what really bugs me about that lgf thread is the Falwell was a strong supporter of Israel meme.
    Are these people really that stupid, or is this the faction that spawned Pam, and they have to paper over the antisemitism to toe the party line?
    He supported Israel in policies he believed would lead to its destruction. He wanted it there so it could be erased from the earth. The fuck is wrong with these people?

  84. Larry said,

    May 16, 2007 at 1:34

    Now that Falwell’s gone, all us liberal humanist abortionists (hell, I kill two fetuses before breakfasttime) can let our guard down and admit that, yes, we DID cause 9/11 and yes, we’re glad we did.

  85. a different brad said,

    May 16, 2007 at 1:37

    I don’t believe in Robot Chicken. That way I can pretend Adult Swim never jumped the shark.

  86. D. Aristophanes said,

    May 16, 2007 at 1:37

    And what really bugs me about that lgf thread is the Falwell was a strong supporter of Israel meme.

    The End(Time)s justify the Memes. sorry.

  87. D. Aristophanes said,

    May 16, 2007 at 1:38

    I don’t believe in credit card debt. Vegas here I come!

  88. billy pilgrim said,

    May 16, 2007 at 1:39

    I agree with Norbizness.

    Further, If God takes that legpressing liar Robertson within the next week, I promise to rethink this atheism thing.

  89. J— said,

    May 16, 2007 at 1:45

    Speaking of both Pam and Falwell’s take on 9/11, I just checked Atlas Shrugs to see if she had anything on his passing. Her post is very brief:

    Reverend Falwell has died. A fine man. A great American. Israel has lost a true friend and supporter. May his soul rest in peace.

    In the comments Ripper points out Falwell’s explanation of 9/11:

    He also blamed 9/11 on Gays, abortionists, pagans, etc. Everyone but al Qaeda.

    And then comes BillBowen, whose response to Ripper is the shining star of the whole thread:

    Ripper, if you look at his post 9/11 comment in context, I believe he had a point. When a country slides so low down the slippery slope to condone rampant open queer behaviour, the murder of 40+ million unborn children (hopefully there is a special place in Hell where Justice Blackmun is roasting)and the blatant devaluing of our culture to the point that darn near anything is condoned and we are told “we must not judge” we produce an environment where the numerous signs of the impending 9/11 attack either went unreported (because people feared being labeled as judgemental, biased or racist) or politicians like those in the Justice Dept. that put more stock in covering Bubba’s posterior that the harm they where doing by erecting the wall between law enforcement & intelligence you have a climate where such an event could happen. Yes, al Queda did the actual deed, but they had a lot of unwitting accomplices.

  90. x_eleven said,

    May 16, 2007 at 1:46

    As for Falwell’s demise, I can’t really say I care as I didn’t know him.

    However, he was a flaming hypocrit.

    “He was ready to create a political organization to represent those, like himself, who were dismayed by the 1973 Roe v. Wade Supreme Court decision recognizing abortion rights and by a popular culture that they felt glorified immorality and rejected God.”

    He got involved because, up till then, the only ones involved in the political process were Roman Catholics. These evangelical protestants have always distrusted Catholics, and weren’t about to let them have a monopoly on the political opposition to Roe v. Wade. And he waited *three* years before shedding his crocodile tears over the “innocent unborn”.

    In the end, Falwell dreamed of co-opting the Republican party, and got co-opted by the party instead.

    “Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?

    And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.

    – Mat 7 : 22-23″

    Jerry may have a most unpleasent surprise in store for him.

  91. BD III said,

    May 16, 2007 at 1:47

    (reference to some over-anxious mods on the comment board of another prominent Left-ish blog today)

    And whatsmore……

    To stoop to hyper-policing the comment section content or to even bitch about that content on the grounds of, “lets show them how upright we can be about this and not post anything boorish” is to play the exact game they want us to play.

    Notice how the Right-ists have, over the last couple years as Bush’s glory has faded, increasingly painted the Left as hypocrites in our approach to “tolerance” and “diversity”? It’s a cheap-shot, purposeful mis-understanding of the concepts. To paint us as intolerant of their “right” to bigotry, homophobia, etc… (see LGF #50 mglazer 5/15/2007 10:57:33 am PDT)

    To try and over police ourselves is to not only play the game by their rules, it’s to play their game, period. It’s called “controlling the message” and why the FUCK would we let them control our message?

    Oh, almost forgot to add–
    GOOD FUCKING RIDDANCE JERRY FARTWELL.

  92. a different brad said,

    May 16, 2007 at 1:53

    N hell, if it had been white people who took over the planes they would have been heroes to the lizardfucks. (Do they mean to conjure up images from Fear & Loathing in Vegas by calling themselves lizards, or did karma just want a perfect depiction of them made before they even existed?)

    The same people who said we’re all new yorkers on sept 12th were the ones wishing nyc would be attacked on sept 10th. They’d say it now when they talk about San Fran, but even lizard brains realize that’d make it too obvious to even themselves how full of shit they are.

  93. Otto Man said,

    May 16, 2007 at 2:01

    Those LGF comments are priceless. I like the one who tries to stop all criticism of Falwell by saying “let he who is without sin cast the first stone.” Because that phrase really captures the essence of such a non-judgmental person like Jerry Falwell.

  94. D. Aristophanes said,

    May 16, 2007 at 2:02

    O’Reilly said it about San Fran (too lazy to look it up).

  95. D. Aristophanes said,

    May 16, 2007 at 2:04

    Also, if you go deeper down that LGF thread, they start arguing about whether various earthquakes and “rumors of war” mean we’re at the very end of the End Times or just in the middle. Check out that loon Chuck Pelto’s comments for a rough guide.

  96. J— said,

    May 16, 2007 at 2:05

    O’Reilly on San Francisco.

  97. a different brad said,

    May 16, 2007 at 2:05

    Can I just say the best thing about Falwell being all over tv tonight is I can further dishonor his memory by rubbing my dick in his face?
    Usually conservatives get my ass, but this corpse gets a special prize.

  98. ifthethunderdontgetya™®©³² said,

    May 16, 2007 at 2:08

    I don’t believe in Fred Hiatt.

    Yay! I feel better already.

  99. mikey said,

    May 16, 2007 at 2:21

    diffbrad, you’re a young man. You keep pushing your junk up against the tv, the radiation and static charge is gonna make it shrivel up and fall off.

    Uh, not that it’s MY problem. That would be gay…

    mikey

  100. Mccs1977 - » If there is a Hell said,

    May 16, 2007 at 2:24

    [...] pineapple room is booked up [...]

  101. Tinky Winky the Teletubby said,

    May 16, 2007 at 2:28

    Outlived you, bitch.

  102. porgy tirebiter said,

    May 16, 2007 at 2:32

    They say deaths come in threes. I took a nap and dreamed that Ann Coulter and Rush Limbaugh died too.

  103. a different brad said,

    May 16, 2007 at 2:36

    Well, I’d use my hd projector instead, mikey, but I’d need a chair to get up to the screen on the wall, and don’t wanna damage it with my incredibly powerful pelvic thrusts.
    Like I said, tho, usually they get my ass, and even that is only on special occasions. Falwell gets to pick my pubes out of his teeth in the afterlife, tho. He’s earned it.
    (Actually, I trim, to make sure you get more info than you want or need.)

  104. AkaDad said,

    May 16, 2007 at 2:40

    The reason I love America is that I can, at anytime, use my God given right to cock-slap my teevee…

  105. Herr Doktor Bimler said,

    May 16, 2007 at 3:13

    I worry about these cox-lapped TV sets, sexualised before they were mature enough to understand it.

  106. Herr Doktor Bimler said,

    May 16, 2007 at 3:16

    In Liberal Europe, corrupted by years of screening the compulsory porn broadcasts, teevee cockslaps you!

  107. Candy said,

    May 16, 2007 at 3:19

    Jillian, I not only don’t believe in Scott Stapp, I don’t believe in anyone who believes in him, either!

    I have to say that I’ve really, really enjoyed this thread. Can’t get up the nerve to check out LGF though. I already had to mop because I spilled sugar on the kitchen floor and also had to clean out the microwave after my son detonated pasta in it, so cleaning up my exploding head will be too much work for one day…

  108. mikey said,

    May 16, 2007 at 3:23

    Seems to me that the soundtrack to the falwell passing should be Liz Phair. Is it just me?

    mikey

  109. Alison said,

    May 16, 2007 at 3:26

    Meg Christian has been waiting 24 years for this- (See lyrics to “Look Within”, I’m waiting for Jerry Falwell’s head on a silver platter), so nice she and we don’t have to wait any longer. Who’s next?

  110. A different brad's old undergrad roommate said,

    May 16, 2007 at 3:28

    I don’t believe in the state of a different brad’s TV screen.

  111. Snowwy said,

    May 16, 2007 at 3:30

    Let me express my love for all y’all commenters here. You guys have given me more laughs today. I think I got in trouble at work, I was laughing so much.

  112. Snowwy said,

    May 16, 2007 at 3:33

    Porgy,

    No, not Coulter, dude! School your subconscious! She’s had the legs cut out from under her. Only loonies think she’s credible.

    No, it should be Limbaugh and *Robertson*. That’d really cripple the movement in one fell swoop.

  113. mikey said,

    May 16, 2007 at 3:34

    Er, Liz Phair.

    mikey

  114. AkaDad said,

    May 16, 2007 at 3:43

    In Liberal Europe, corrupted by years of screening the compulsory porn broadcasts, teevee cockslaps you!

    Thanks for helping me decide about where to spend my vacation…

  115. a different brad said,

    May 16, 2007 at 3:43

    McCain just made up a word
    Trans-en-sential
    I hit rewind on the dvr to confirm.
    Also, I’m reading that lgf thread and watching the debate, and losing track of which is which. I think the repubs are the ones trying to pretend to be well-intentioned.

  116. mikey said,

    May 16, 2007 at 3:51

    Herr Doktor Bimler said,

    May 16, 2007 at 3:16

    In Liberal Europe, corrupted by years of screening the compulsory porn broadcasts, teevee cockslaps you!

    Hokay, mi amigo, some day I desperately want to hear the story of how you ended up down under…

    mikey

  117. Jillian said,

    May 16, 2007 at 3:53

    MC Hawking had a song up on his website for a while called “Why Won’t Jesse Helms Just Hurry Up and Die?”….alas, I cannot seem to track down an MP3 of it.

    I’ll be thinking about it all night, though.

  118. a different brad said,

    May 16, 2007 at 3:56

    My tv screen is nice n clean. With the debate on it’s getting lots of rublove tonight.
    Lemme ask yah, old roomie. Have you given up on being a boytoy for eurotrash yet?
    I’d love a rich guy to let me live in his place in Paris, too, but I gots limits.

  119. skippy said,

    May 16, 2007 at 4:03

    in honor of the rev. jerry falwell’s passing, skippy has the hallelujah chorus for tonite’s selection of the skippy music club…

  120. mikey said,

    May 16, 2007 at 4:23

    What, no Liz Phair, Skippy? ‘Sup w’dat?

    mikey

  121. cosmosis said,

    May 16, 2007 at 4:32

    Satan has called Jerry home.

  122. essbee said,

    May 16, 2007 at 4:39

    I think our Florentine friend would put Fat Jerry in the:

    Eighth Circle.
    The fraudulent—those guilty of deliberate, knowing evil—are located in a circle named Malebolge, divided into ten bolgie, or ditches of stone, with bridges spanning the ditches:

    But which bolgie?
    (I’m leaning towards #6)

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Divine_Comedy#The_Circles_of_Hell

  123. RubDMC said,

    May 16, 2007 at 4:44

    I will not piss on Falwell’s grave.

    And neither will I. That would be crass.

    No, instead, I’m going to sprinkle some fine Irish whisky on his grave – a bit o’ the Tulamora Dew.

    But first, I’m going to filter it through my kidneys.

  124. a different brad said,

    May 16, 2007 at 5:03

    And just to be clear, n mildly ruin the joke, it’s the crotch of my jeans touchin the screen. It’s been a warm day in brooklyn, n I went jogging. Guess that answers the question of my old roomie.

  125. g said,

    May 16, 2007 at 5:04

    Larry Flynt outlived Jerry Falwell

    Mwww-ww-AH, whoever posted this. I heard KTLK in LA interviewing Flynt this afternoon.

  126. Legalize said,

    May 16, 2007 at 5:06

    “Seems to me that the soundtrack to the falwell passing should be Liz Phair. Is it just me?”

    Yes, but only her first record because it was (and still is) really really really really really good.

    I would also like to apologize for linking to LGF; but that thread just devolved so nicely into utter textbook wingnuttery! In any event, the Yanks/ChiSox game I was so boastfully boasting about pleasurably watching this evening, in honor of the passing of one of history’s greatest douche-clowns, was rained-out.

    So I guess Falwell folied me again – even on the date of his untimely passing. And by “untimely” I mean – “far, far, far too late.”

  127. AkaDad said,

    May 16, 2007 at 5:11

    I won’t sink so low as to dedicate this song to Reverend Falwell. I’m so above that…

    *Not safe for work, children, and possibly kittens

  128. peev said,

    May 16, 2007 at 5:16

    Falwell on Brown v. Board of Education: “If Chief Justice Warren and his associates had known God’s word and had desired to do the Lord’s will, I am quite confident that the 1954 decision would never have been made…. The facilities should be separate. When God has drawn a line of distinction, we should not attempt to cross that line.�

    God must have heard otherwise, because my black ass is getting ready to graduate from college.

    All I have to say is this: Falwell–burn, baby, burn.

  129. Qetesh the Abyssinian said,

    May 16, 2007 at 6:02

    #179 mglazer 5/15/2007 11:48:40 am PDT
    Old Testament = The Bible

    The book God gave to the Hebrews at Mount Sinai

    You know like Original Coke!

    I love this comment. It makes a religion thousands of years old, and with a fine tradition of erudition and study, just like a market-clogging, tooth-rotting, soul-destroying icon of Murrikan consumer kulcha.

    There’s another one, but I’m too weary to copy it. One of the commenters there keeps referring to the “New Testimate” and the “Old Testimate”, and it was cracking me up (in contrast to the rest of them, which mainly consisted of solemn RIPs followed by pretentious comments about how conservatives love everyone and use reason where liberals hate everyone and use emotion. And probably drugs).

    Yikes, just escaped that set of parentheses with my fur intact. Anyway, yes, these “Testimates” put me in mind of a product advertised on late-night TV. Something energetic, with elastic straps and perhaps a complicated ball-on-a-spring attachment. Something to, well, enhance one’s attributes in some way or another.

    And speaking of that, a friend I visited last night (yes, I have one, although she won’t let me mention her name for fear of public opprobrium) has a knife block that I love, unrepentant feminazicat that I am. It’s made of sturdy resin or something, bright red, and is a sort of a safety-sign man shape, with the knives (big fuckers) shoved in at appropriate spots. She’s recently added a feature to the groinal knife, to wit a pair of dangly (joined by string) squeezy balls, also in the cheery bright red colour scheme.

    See, it was connected, after all! Well, not to the original post, but fair’s fair, I’m a cat. We’re not noted for our long attention spans.

  130. Kate said,

    May 16, 2007 at 6:05

    Falwell was always bullshit. It’s never been an option in 35 years.

  131. Kate said,

    May 16, 2007 at 6:09

    It’s weird that he gets attention from anyone. And, ‘for’, presumably.

  132. mikey said,

    May 16, 2007 at 6:13

    I’m sorry, wha…? I was talking to Qetesh. Do you know where he went?

    mikey

  133. Lesley said,

    May 16, 2007 at 6:35

    The ever fluffy Ann Althouse (concludes Jerry was, at heart, a bloke with strong beliefs she didn’t always agree with.

    I guess I haven’t been too hard on Jerry Falwell in the time this blog has been around. He wasn’t that active in the last 3 years, and, as the linked NYT obituary says, “He surprised some critics by becoming more tolerant on gay issues in later years. “
    But at his core, he remained through his career precisely what he was at the beginning — a preacher and moralist, a believer in the Bible’s literal truth, with firm beliefs on religious, and social issues rooted in his reading of Scripture that never really changed.

    So there was no distinction at all between his view of the political and the spiritual when he wrote in his autobiography: “We are born into a war zone where the forces of God do battle with the forces of evil. Sometimes we get trapped, pinned down in the crossfire. And in the heat of that noisy distracting battle, two voices call out for us to follow. Satan wants to lead us into death. God wants to lead us into life eternal.�

    R.I.P.

  134. Lesley said,

    May 16, 2007 at 6:38

    The blockquotes are fucked up for some reason. The R.I.P. is hers. and the second and third paragraph are supposed to be indented…errrgh.

  135. Lesley said,

    May 16, 2007 at 6:41

    Qetesh the Abyssinian, this youtube may delight you.

  136. EdsAppliance said,

    May 16, 2007 at 6:42

    Nobody knows when Fly-ng Sp-gh-tt- M-nst-r will call us to the great buffet in the sky.

    And let me be the first to say, “None of this would be happening if Jerry Falwell were still alive.�

  137. Qetesh the Abyssinian said,

    May 16, 2007 at 7:11

    I’m sorry, wha…? I was talking to Qetesh. Do you know where he went?

    mikey, you wuz talkin’ to me? Because FYI I’m a girl cat. Not ‘he’.

    Not sure what you were talking about either, to be honest. But then it’s time for my nap.

  138. Qetesh the Abyssinian said,

    May 16, 2007 at 7:21

    Lesley, that YouTube delighteth not me.

    Okay, I lied. I laughed myself stupid.

  139. a different brad said,

    May 16, 2007 at 7:34

    What’s awesome about Althouse’s post is it’s about her words on him, not him. She likes her own jokes enough to make them twice.
    Even his death is about her, Ann Althouse.

  140. Herr Doktor Bimler said,

    May 16, 2007 at 8:16

    I desperately want to hear the story of how you ended up down under
    Fortunately, Mikey, the story is short, and won’t distract you from your conversation with Qetesh… I was born here (have been making regular visits to the Old Country ever since). My forebears came to Ny Sjælland to escape the Prussian draft, starting a proud family tradition of draft-dodging and conscientious objecting.
    Whatever you’ve got, I’ll object to it.

  141. Jillian said,

    May 16, 2007 at 11:15

    You know who else was a preacher and a moralist? Who believed that he had been sent by God to show people the error of their ways?

    (Hang on to your Godwins……)

    Adolf Hitler.

    See, this is what I hate about this automatic deference to religion some people feel compelled to show. People can defend the most appalling ideas imaginable in the name of God – just because an idea’s “religious” doesn’t mean it’s worth respect, and just because someone calls themselves “reverend” doesn’t mean they are.

  142. Jackstis said,

    May 16, 2007 at 17:55

    Falwell down!

    Now just James Dobson and Pat Robertson to go!

    Please, Lord, take out these two other fuckers and I’ll know You’re for real and praise You!

  143. Fabulously Flawed » Blog Archive » Holy Crap! said,

    May 17, 2007 at 4:32

    [...] I love Sadly, No! God Kills Falwell [...]

  144. EFFin’ Unsound » Blog Archive » Falwell said,

    May 17, 2007 at 4:48

    [...] had a good list of people more timely than me, yesterday. Don’t miss Sadly, No! ever, but especially in this case. Political millstone or inspirational leader; man of God or sinner? Whatever his legacy the folks [...]

  145. Iamspartacus said,

    May 17, 2007 at 5:57

    My prayers are with the paramedics who had to hump that disgusting mound of hog-puke down to the morgue. And since good things come in threes, let’s go Robertson and Ratzinger!

  146. Marq said,

    May 19, 2007 at 12:24

    *sniff sniff*

    What smells like burning bacon?

  147. The Weekly Roundup / May 21 said,

    May 22, 2007 at 2:06

    [...] God kills Falwell. Check out the greatest hits. [...]

  148. Raymond Funamoto said,

    June 2, 2007 at 5:24

    GOOD RIDDANCE TO BAD RUBBISH, SERVES THE EVIL SON OF A WHORE RIGHT!!!!!

  149. May He Eat Naught but Burning Hot Coals and Drink Naught but Burning Hot Cola « Heavy Metal Librarian said,

    January 14, 2010 at 19:34

    [...] I dearly wish there is a Hell, because if there is, Pat Robertson will one day be burning in it, along with his good buddy [...]

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