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I Heart Peter Beinart (Getting Sent on Patrol in Fallujah)
Watch Moyers destroy Peter Beinart. Read Greenwald’s play-by-play. Thank C&L for breaking out the clip.
Done? Cool.
Now I happen to like Beinart, in a bacon and Play-Doh kind of way, and I’d hate to see such a young and foolish man lose his livelihood over something as trivial as pimping an insane and criminal war that has cost tens of thousands¹ their lives.
Unfortunately, Beinart has shown little aptitude for any sort of work beyond cleaning up Bill Kristol’s ravings and putting a boyishly concerned frown on them. (Although discovering somebody who is actually whiter than him to discuss hip-hop deserves some sort of grudging respect, I suppose.)
So, a gift for young Master Peter, the third-stupidest Rhodes scholar ever.² Here is the only thing that should ever come from your pen for the rest of your life:
I Don’t Know Shit About Shit And I’m Sorry
By Peter Beinart
Once I was young and stupid. Today I am older and I am still stupid. Nobody should ever listen to me because I am always wrong. I like my iPod and sleepovers at Jonah’s. I don’t like people pointing at me and laughing or calling me names. But that is what you should do when you see me. Because I am a miserable piece of shit who should never be allowed to live down the shame of my whorish dereliction of journalistic duty. It is up to you to decide whether my punishment should be collecting a gallon of sweat from Marty Peretz’s balls, or vice-versa. Or both, only it’s five gallons.
The End.
(With additional reporting by Andrew Sullivan)
That just might get him syndicated.
¹TNR liberal-enabled neoconservative estimate
²See Lugar, Dick and Woolsey, Dicker
Some Guy said,
April 27, 2007 at 9:26
“¹TNR liberal-enabled neoconservative estimate”
Neo-Con casualty estimates: Three skinned knees, twelve booboos on elbows, the frisbee, and one poor son of a bitch spilled his Tab all over the Humvee.
D. Aristophanes said,
April 27, 2007 at 9:37
He he … next it’s on to Iran, where after a few wet willies, we’ll be greeted as liberators. We can confront the formidable finger traps that await us in China once we’ve sorted out the Middle East.
M. Bouffant said,
April 27, 2007 at 9:41
I just wish one could comment to their faces on TNR’s various inanities, but not only does one have to “subscribe” (to the actual magazine, resulting in the corpse of a tree being stuffed into one’s mailbox) to read half of the stories they put on-line, one must subscribe to post a comment.
And since the whole GDF thing is a vanity project anyway, why are they such money-grubbers?
Bistroist said,
April 27, 2007 at 10:56
A gallon of balls from Marty Peretz’ sweat?
I can see how that might be difficult.
El Cid said,
April 27, 2007 at 11:24
Beinart was most annoying because he was a cheap fantasist and yet he considered himself morally superior to those unwilling to engage in fantasy-based foreign policy. (He shares this with Hitchens, they both play the same game.)
You see, he *fantasized* that life would get much better for Iraqis (and the Middle East) as a result of a US invasion.
On the ‘other’ side of his moral spectrum were liberals and leftists who refused to fantasize that life would get a lot better for Iraqis and others as a result of a US invasion.
Now, you & I might think that you should judge the morality of one’s program based on what *actually* happens.
And here you are wrong, according to Beinart & crew, especially a few years ago: they are only to be held responsible for what they *wished* to happen in Iraq, not for what *actually* happened as a result of the actions for which they led the cheering.
Beinart, Hitchens: Morally superior because they *fantasized* that their policies would bring justice and a better life to Iraqis. They are in no way morally responsible if reality turned out differently.
Real liberals and leftists: Morally inferior because we refused to engage in fantasy as a serious level of foreign policy analysis.
Xenos said,
April 27, 2007 at 15:40
3rd most stupid Rhodes Scholar? You mean he is ahead of Jessie Malkin?
Deschanel said,
April 27, 2007 at 15:44
Well done. Notice how he never actually answered Moyers’ question? Sputtering like a fool about how print is superior to television…or something.
So those of us who were against the war from the first were, “intellectually incoherent” while Kool-Aid drinkers like himself were “on the side of the angels” Angels of DEATH maybe! Charlie’s angels?
Marty Peretz sure can pick em, eh? Beinart and Sullivan both are callow, coddled little wonks with no idea how the real world works. Teacher’s pets vacuumed from academia to the Beltway, hermetically sealed from the dangerous, bloody and soul-destroying
exercise of war. And so damned arrogant about it.
D. Aristophanes said,
April 27, 2007 at 15:45
Jesse Malkin is a Rhodes scholar? No! Anyway, I guess Jesse’s too insignificant to have made wikipedia’s list of significant Rhodes scholars.
But let’s put Beinart at fourth most-stupid if Jesse really is one.
mother, father, Cheney's dentist said,
April 27, 2007 at 15:51
Dick, Dicker and Peter would be a great name for a folk music group.
rachel said,
April 27, 2007 at 15:52
Yeah. Although, every once in a while, Sullivan seems to be catching on to what a fool he was to promote Bush’s “short, victorious war.”
Xenos said,
April 27, 2007 at 16:05
Sullivan, inexcusably, could not pick up on the language and rhetoric of shameless imperial ambition coming out of Washington. As a sentimental Tory in his formative years he had little understanding of the flip side of empire. He still does not grok it.
AkaDad said,
April 27, 2007 at 16:59
So those of us who were against the war from the first were, “intellectually incoherent� while Kool-Aid drinkers like himself were “on the side of the angels� Angels of DEATH maybe! Charlie’s angels?
Hell’s Angels – Washington D.C. Chapter
Ann Althouse's Right Breast said,
April 27, 2007 at 17:14
Now I happen to like Beinart, in a bacon and Play-Doh kind of way …
Leggo my Beinart! Me & Pammy got dibs on his bacon, & we’re planning on using his Play Doh to erect a monument to his stupidity!
robert green said,
April 27, 2007 at 17:42
peter beinart got what he wanted–a sinecure at a major magazine, most likely a brookings appointment on the way, and i’m sure solid 6 figure salary. who cares about anything else? he just did it for the money, the money, the money…
also, i’m sick of the crap that ann althouse’s right breast spews. you call that mother’s milk? what about her left breast, eh?
Righteous Bubba said,
April 27, 2007 at 17:44
I’m pretty amazed at the intro to the piece:
Four years ago this spring, the Bush administration took leave of reality and plunged our country into a war so poorly planned it turned into a disaster. The story of how high officials misled the country has been told, but they couldn’t have done it on their own. They needed a compliant press to pass on their propaganda as news and cheer them on.
Wow. Not news to anyone who’s been paying attention, but to say that on TV?
robert green said,
April 27, 2007 at 17:56
and d.
if that’s beinart mea culpa nut graf, what is george tenet’s?
only harsher.
Davis said,
April 27, 2007 at 18:48
robert green: that was worthy of The Rude Pundit.
bl0ndej0n said,
April 27, 2007 at 18:49
BORING
You are giving this Beinhart guy way too much serious analysis. Can’t we just put his picture up and say whether we would do him or not? I think he’s kind of cute.
Righteous Bubba said,
April 27, 2007 at 18:51
Can’t we just put his picture up and say whether we would do him or not? I think he’s kind of cute.
I think some impartial arbiter should be called in.
ifthethunderdontgetya™³²®© said,
April 27, 2007 at 19:05
Speaking of impartial arbiters, isn’t it time to update Ace’s totally awesome logo (that would be the one Sadly, No! made for him)?
I’m thinking of something along the lines of
Ace of Spades HQ: Now 50% Less Ghey!1one!!
Kathleen said,
April 27, 2007 at 19:32
I like your suggestion ITTDGY. I was thinking one of Ace’s crossed swords should be a strip of bacon.
Karl Rove II said,
April 27, 2007 at 19:34
One comment, there should be a (sound of Beinhart being kicked repeatedly in the balls) after ‘The End’.
…that or the sound of him swinging at the end of his suicide noose.
Kathleen said,
April 27, 2007 at 19:50
hmmm. at the risk of being a “funny arbiter”: kicked in the balls – funny; suicide – not funny.
Ann Althouse's Right Breast said,
April 27, 2007 at 20:18
Dear robert green,
My Left Breast is for loading & unloading only!
Sincerely,
AA’sRB
Karl Rove II said,
April 27, 2007 at 20:26
Kathleen said,
April 27, 2007 at 19:50
Oh don’t worry, that’s just Mr Hyde peeking out from behind the freezer.
Ann Althouse's Right Breast said,
April 27, 2007 at 20:26
Charlie’s angels?
Now that you mention it, he does bear a striking (dare I say, eerie?) resemblance to Bri, the smart one!
Hand Stocking said,
April 27, 2007 at 20:43
You are giving this Beinhart guy way too much serious analysis. Can’t we just put his picture up and say whether we would do him or not? I think he’s kind of cute.
He’s not bad looking if he keeps his mouth shut, otherwise it’s The Big Book of British Smiles, “Mind the Gap” chapter.
tigrismus said,
April 27, 2007 at 20:50
oh nurtz
Brando said,
April 27, 2007 at 21:55
One question: Does he get to use a bucket for the ball-sweat collection, or does he have to use his mouth?
Anne Laurie said,
April 27, 2007 at 22:35
One question: Does he get to use a bucket for the ball-sweat collection, or does he have to use his mouth?
A swab and a bucket. Part of the penance is that Beinhart will never, never, ever be permitted to open his mouth again. I’d suggest he cut off his typing fingers as well, but future generations would be negatively impacted if B. were to need an alternative to playing with himself.
J— said,
April 27, 2007 at 22:36
Here’s a novel idea:
One might call this supporting the troops.
Here’s an odd one:
Journalistic skepticism? That’s so old school!
The Crooks & Liars video shows the first exchange between Moyers and Beinart. There’s a second near the end of the program:
All three quotes from the PBS transcript of “Buying the War.”
Herr Doktor Bimler said,
April 28, 2007 at 0:06
Neo-Con casualty estimates: Three skinned knees, twelve booboos on elbows,
There are bonobos in Iraq?!
– Feck, I need new glasses.
Smiling Mortician said,
April 28, 2007 at 0:28
DA, thank you ever so much for the links. The Moyers program is the first time I’ve watched a solid hour of TV in more than 15 years. It was well worth it. The man is a national treasure — if only I had any reason to believe that his work would be seen by anywhere near enough people to have a real effect . . .
CauseDisturbance said,
April 28, 2007 at 0:30
Personally I’d like to see Beinart come back from patrol in Fallujah only to get fragged by the other guys in his platoon. Then, unrecognizably disfigured from the grenade blast, be mistakenly imprisoned in Abu Ghraib where he gets waterboarded and then assraped by an Iraqi guard.
Righteous Bubba said,
April 28, 2007 at 3:28
DA, thank you ever so much for the links.
Yes indeed. I don’t think I’ve pestered my friends with an e-mailed link for a couple of years now, but this was pretty amazing.
WeikuBoy said,
April 28, 2007 at 7:49
PETER BEINART: But can one really say that life for Iraqis is better today?
WeikuBoy: When one refers to Iraqis today, is one referring only to the survivors?
D. Aristophanes said,
April 28, 2007 at 9:06
Happy to pass on the links. Moyers rox. Weird to see so much of what we’ve monitored in drips and drabs, presented historically and big-picturishly as in this documentary. Viva la epic!
And it was history, the way the Beinarts lubed the way for the Cheneys and Chalabis to market such a monumentally evil adventure that has caused so much harm to the thems and uses and y’alls and future thems and uses and y’alls of the world.
If you’re old, hang your head … if you’re young, never fear, it’ll all happen againin 20 years time.
We fucking suck. Our only saving grace is that occasionally we recognize that fact.
elendil said,
April 29, 2007 at 3:46
Arrr, C&L don’t have the whole thing, matey! Torrent link: http://www.chomskytorrents.org/DownloadTorrent.php?TorrentID=4315
(Currently has 1 seed.)
If you’ve got mplayer, you can dump it to your hd with the following:
“mms://wm.z1.mii-streaming.net/media/pbs/windows/general/windows/wnet/moyers/journal/btw/BTW_part1_480.wmv?v1st=5A54C435CFC5C593″ -dumpstream -dumpfile moyers1.wmv
(change “part1″ to “part2″, “part3″, etc to get all 5 chapters)
elendil said,
April 29, 2007 at 3:48
Noy jitat! That should read
mplayer “mms://…” etc. And sorry about messing up the comments-section aesthetics.