Apr
18

Shorter Debbie Schlussel




Posted at 5:06 by Gavin M.

By tomorrow it will have become excessive. But we’ve got tonight, baby!

“Random” Washington Post Online Cover Photo from VTech

schlusselshorter.jpg

  • THE WASHINGTON POST PUT VILE COCKROACH MUSLIMS ON THE COVER!!! IS THIS A MISTAKE HAHAHA NO!!!! THE MSM IS COZY IN BED WITH THE INTERNATIONAL JEWISH CONSPIRA…wait, I mean Muslim…SPIRACY!!!

‘Shorter’ concept created by Daniel Davies and perfected by Elton Beard.

50 Comments »

  1. Some Guy said,

    April 18, 2007 at 5:12

    A quick, informal count reveals ~45 people in that shot. Of that ~45, 5 are Muslim-ish. And, apparently sitting in the front row of that shot, where they would naturally stand out more to the eye.
    That’s some mighty good un-objective media watchdogging there, boys.

    This bitch really needs to just shut up.

  2. Doug Watts said,

    April 18, 2007 at 5:25

    She is Greg “The Hammer” Valentine. But not as gurly.

  3. a different brad said,

    April 18, 2007 at 5:34

    Debbie would be much more famous, but, alas, the majority of her potential readers are illiterate.
    Can someone in the Lefty/Jihadi conspiracy planning committee please suggest we prop up Debbie as our version of Ward Churchill? It’s almost refreshing to find a wingnut stupid enough to not have switched to codewords and innuendo in their race-baiting.

  4. J— said,

    April 18, 2007 at 5:36

    Oh, look. Debbie just went all caps in the comments. That didn’t take long.

    THEY MAY BE ROTATING PICS NOW, BUT THIS PIC WAS THE ONE THEY FEATURED (WITH NO ROTATION) AT THE TOP OF THE WASHPOST HOMEPAGE FOR SEVERAL HOURS AFTER THE VTU CONVOCATION, TODAY. “JUST A PICTURE”? WELL, TRITE BUT TRUE, A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS.

    Another highlight from the comments: one of the major prophet’s citing Edward Said.

  5. JK47 said,

    April 18, 2007 at 5:56

    My favorite little nugget of idiocy over at Lil’ Debbie’s place is this one:

    IF ANYTHING, KACZYNSKI WAS AN EXTREME LEFTIST–BECAUSE HE WAS SO OBSESSED WITH ENVIRONMENTALISM–THE VERY CRUX OF HIS “UNABOMBER MANIFESTO”–HE BLEW PEOPLE UP OVER IT.
    DEBBIE SCHLUSSEL

    Sadly, No!

    From Wikipedia:

    In his opening and closing chapters, Kaczynski condemns “leftism” and “leftists” as “anti-individualistic” and “pro-collectivist,” “because, deep inside, [the leftist] feels like a loser.”

    Debbie Schlussel, you are a goddamned moron.

  6. galactic Dustbin said,

    April 18, 2007 at 5:58

    every national disaster means at least another 3 weeks of face time on CNN/FOX/MSNBC for Debbie and her ilk. She must be pricing a new BMW right now as we speak.

  7. Jean Arf said,

    April 18, 2007 at 6:03

    Hmmm . . . I’m sure of all the thousands of talking zombies available to parse the Virginia Tech tragedy, Fox chose this particular one. Just a random pundit, right? Not representing the crossdressing agenda or anything…

  8. AkaDad said,

    April 18, 2007 at 6:04

    I was sitting on the fence about her Washington Post’s nefarious agenda, but her all CAPS comment convinced me.

    Perhaps my muppet fetish is clouding my judgment…

  9. tb said,

    April 18, 2007 at 6:07

    This thread on Human Events is amazing- these assholes are blaming the victims of VTech for being pussies and “cowering in fear of a little asian guy with a gun”.

  10. Dr Zen said,

    April 18, 2007 at 6:12

    Yeah, the Washington Post, that renowned liberal rag. You can barely open the paper without being slapped in the face with yet another antiwar screed.

  11. steve_e said,

    April 18, 2007 at 6:14

    Hey, back in the 1930s, wasn’t there a powerful country that had a big problem with one particular religious group? Like, they really hated them for some reason. How’d they resolve their hatred for that group?

    They just educated themselves and learned to love their neighor, right?

    I gots my educayshun in a publik skool, so I don’t remember how things turned out.

  12. a different brad said,

    April 18, 2007 at 6:19

    Debbie got the Worst Person bronze on Olbermann tonite. Despite her need to establish her non-Don Imusnicity if she worked anywhere but Fox before now I doubt she’ll continue to.

  13. D. Aristophanes said,

    April 18, 2007 at 6:42

    What if Debbie, by some bizarre twist of fate, got hired as photo editor for the Washington Post?

    Principal Editorial Meeting

    Editor-in-Chief: What have we got for A1?

    News Editor: We’ve got the Gonzalez testimony and the vote on a troop withdrawal deadline in Iraq. Your choice for the leader.

    Editor-in-Chief: Great. Debbie, what’s the art look like for those stories?

    Debbie Schlussel: Well, I’ve been digging through the photo archives, and there are a couple of great shots of Palestinians burning American flags. Works with either story, don’t you think?

    Editor-in-Chief: Um, okay. Uhhh … Business. What are we leading with?

    Business Editor: We’re doing an overview of the first-quarter stock market roller coaster.

    Editor-in-Chief: Good, good. Um, Debbie?

    Debbie Schlussel: That’s a great story, Chief. My idea is to do something sort of abstract, involving some images of Palestinians burning American flags.

    Editor-in-Chief: Right. Right. Whoo-boy. Okay, Sports?

    Sports Editor: NBA playoff preview, breakout on the Gilbert Arenas injury and how it hurts the Wizards.

    Editor-in-Chief: I hate to ask, but … um, Debbie?

    Debbie Schlussel: Palestinians …

    Editor-in-Chief: … burning American flags?

    Debbie Schlussel: Great minds think alike, Chief!

  14. D. Aristophanes said,

    April 18, 2007 at 6:52

    … if she worked anywhere but Fox before now I doubt she’ll continue to.

    Don’t think she’ll be doing much work for Fox, either, after totally biting the hand that feeds her.

    Check it out.

  15. cowalker said,

    April 18, 2007 at 7:21

    She, like, totally risked her life to go to Muslim rallies in Dearborn.

    Perhaps they could find some high school sophomore with a more mature writing style to replace her.

  16. Qetesh the Abyssinian said,

    April 18, 2007 at 7:44

    From the comments:

    – given that murder is *consistently* committed in the United States by Muslims against non-Muslims (because they are non-Muslim) –

    Fuckin’ what?!? Consistently? Say, Deputy Dawg, how many a thum thar Muslims we got killing white folks today?

    “Senseless” is a piece of condescension spoken by someone who lives sheltered from the harsh troubles of the real political world. (What’s that tinkle I hear? Oh, that’s your teacup shaking in it’s saucer – so sorry to disturb you!)

    And this commenter is clearly someone who (a) lives in the middle of a war zone like Iraq, and (b) isn’t’ afraid of any ol’ scary Muslims. Nosirree.

    People like myself or debbie or anyone else that is not asleep at the wheel are not full of hate.

    Noooo, we really like Muslims, honestly.

    There are people who appease and will blame everyone but themselves. I am still not sure what this kid was, or what his religion was, but either way he was a terrorist, and with that said if you want to debate appeasement please bring it on
    melly

    This Miss Melly has her head waaaaay up her arse. ‘I’m still not sure what this kid was or what his religion was’? The last comment is from some poor sod of a Korean trying to make the point that there’s bugger-all Korean Muslims, but I don’t think that idea will wash with this crowd. Man, there’s some serious hatin’ going on there.

  17. Col. Klink said,

    April 18, 2007 at 8:14

    Don’t mock those Human Events guys! They’re bravely holding down the fortress in Iraq. Or bravely in their pajamas hiding in the basement behind the couch. One of the two.

  18. Marq said,

    April 18, 2007 at 12:35

    Gav–ya forgot to photoshoppe scare quotes around the “News” in teh Fox logo in that screen-cap! Tsk!

  19. hjshorter said,

    April 18, 2007 at 13:40

    My favorite exchange from the comments there:
    ,
    “Looking at that pic makes you think VTU is 95% white”

    Boy that would by awful wouldn’t it? We sure wouldn’t want anything to be mostly white.

    Posted by: AlturaCt at April 18, 2007 02:16 AM

    Knuckle-dragging racist morons…

  20. HTML Mencken said,

    April 18, 2007 at 13:41

    She looks like Vince Neil without the 5 o’clock shadow.

  21. Otto Man said,

    April 18, 2007 at 14:12

    From Atrios:

    So far this year, Ms. Schlussel has appeared on more than 600 radio shows and 35 TV programs, she says. But while Ms. Coulter, America’s most-famous blonde pundit, earns millions, the also-blonde Ms. Schlussel has earned well under $10,000 this year from her punditry, she says. Still, Ms. Schlussel feels momentum: Her online fan clubs have grown to 5,496 members.

    “Costco Coulter” is a terrific name, but that might be overvaluing her. She’s more like the “Everything’s a Dollar!” crap outlet.

  22. Zoroastrian said,

    April 18, 2007 at 14:15

    Below is the original, unabridged version of the column on Imam Husham Al-Husainy that ran in Tuesday’s New York Post. Readers of my work and of this site know that I risked my life to go undercover to Hezbollah events and rallies in Dearbornistan to bring you exclusive info on Al-Husainy, [her emphasis]

    Please tell me she’s joking?

  23. Zeno said,

    April 18, 2007 at 14:23

    She looks like Bjorn Ulvaeus from ABBA — trying to dress up as one of the ABBA chicks …

  24. Zeno said,

    April 18, 2007 at 14:23

    “Dollar Store Debbie”

  25. Zeno said,

    April 18, 2007 at 14:26

    Even as we speak, Pantload Media (TM) is poring over a potato chip crumb laced Thesaurus for synonyms for “inscrutable” and “nefarious.”

  26. Notorious P.A.T. said,

    April 18, 2007 at 15:07

    rallies in Dearbornistan

    Yes, I’ve lived in Michigan all my life, and it’s been depressing to watch the metro Detroit area turned into a middle Eastern country. They’ve torn down the McDonald’s restaurants and replaced them with mosques, closed the video stores and turned them into burkha outlets, and of course all the phone books are in Arabic now. . .

  27. kc said,

    April 18, 2007 at 15:12

    Street Meat Schlussel.

  28. Notorious P.A.T. said,

    April 18, 2007 at 15:15

    Here’s a profile of many of the victims of the shooting. Take a look, then decide if everyone in the Virginia Tech photo should be a white Christian:

    http://www.nytimes.com/2007/04/17/us/20070418_VICTIMS_GRAPHIC.html?_r=1&oref=slogin

  29. Seanly said,

    April 18, 2007 at 15:16

    She’s stark raving mad. And her like-minded commenters are even worse.

    Do Debbie & AtlasPam drink from the same Trough of Insanity? Everything to the two of them is about the Islam Menace.

  30. FGFM said,

    April 18, 2007 at 15:44

    Anyone feel like calling in?

    Debbie Schlussel

    I will be on San Francisco’s KSFO-AM 560: “The Lee Rodgers & Melanie Morgan Show” at 10:05 a.m. Eastern Time/ 7:05 a.m. Pacific, this morning.

  31. anangryoldbroad said,

    April 18, 2007 at 15:58

    We really need better mental health care in this country. I don’t know for sure, but it seems to me all of this mean,punishing,bloodthirsty and violent ways of dealing with problems and disappointments and sadness is really kinda the heart of the matter. Sadism and sociopathy,isolation and sadness. That can’t be a good thing,really,where has our common sense gone? Imagine if there was an Apollo type project to stop domestic violence and child abuse. We’d see far fewer lost and sad souls,not to mention the healing of so many who already hurt. It might be time to start lauding good,kind behavior when we find it. I’m a mom and a grandmom,I get incredibly sad and afraid for all my babies and what life is gonna be like for them in even a decade.

    I can’t imagine what it’s like to live like she does. Finding evil and hatred everywhere. Not wanting to see or foster love and compassion isn’t normal. Something is wrong,and it’s not just with Little Debbie(and all the ilkettes). Our culture is mentally ill,and I don’t think Americans will ever get to the place where they’ll acknowledge that and adjust accordingly. It’s sad,if any country has the resources to do some repairs on ourselves it’s us. We have most of what we need,and some smart people could help us all figure out what we don’t have.

    Ack,I think I need to go outside with my cat today.

  32. Lawnguylander said,

    April 18, 2007 at 16:04

    I always knew at least one of those kids from Nelson would turn into a right wing racist blogger but why did he take on a woman’s name?

  33. billy pilgrim said,

    April 18, 2007 at 16:05

    Wait, I like the idea that environmental stewardship is the province of the left.

    Last I heard, responsible use combined with selective, intelligent preservation of the environment met with the support of a huge majority of Americans, not to mention world wide.

    Let’s just continue to beat that meme.

    Blowing people up, though, that one is all the Right’s

  34. FGFM said,

    April 18, 2007 at 16:15

    I’m listening to this lunatic on KSFO right now and she’s still flogging the Ismail Ax angle.

  35. DirtyFuckingHippie said,

    April 18, 2007 at 16:19

    galactic Dustbin said,
    April 18, 2007 at 5:58

    every national disaster means at least another 3 weeks of face time on CNN/FOX/MSNBC for Debbie and her ilk. She must be pricing a new BMW right now as we speak.

    Sadly No. Here’s a bit from Atrios:

    So far this year, Ms. Schlussel has appeared on more than 600 radio shows and 35 TV programs, she says. But while Ms. Coulter, America’s most-famous blonde pundit, earns millions, the also-blonde Ms. Schlussel has earned well under $10,000 this year from her punditry, she says. Still, Ms. Schlussel feels momentum: Her online fan clubs have grown to 5,496 members.

    http://atrios.blogspot.com/2007_04_15_atrios_archive.html#117686916752449848

    It seems that Little Debbie is a perennial B-lister.

  36. DirtyFuckingHippie said,

    April 18, 2007 at 16:21

    That extrapolates out to about $15.75 an appearance. My god, she’s a cheap date.

    She is truly the Costco Coulter.

    Hat tip to whoever came up with that one. It’s gotta stick.

  37. DirtyFuckingHippie said,

    April 18, 2007 at 16:36

    Little Debbie is gonna kick me right to the curb. I’ve left 4 posts in a row on her little site. All of which relate to her readers that she’s a cheap fix for the Cable Noise Machine.

    This shouldn’t take long.

    I hope.

    I don’t want to have to continue on my journeys over there. It smells.

  38. Qetesh the Abyssinian said,

    April 18, 2007 at 16:39

    anangryoldbroad: What you said. Exactly.

    One of the many sad things about those photos, and there are many sad things, is that several are as still unidentified. Some poor family and friends are still waiting to find out.

    As you said, AAOB, it’s the tragedy of our world that our culture is so focused on hate and violence and greed, rather than healing and health and community.

  39. W. Kiernan said,

    April 18, 2007 at 17:11

    Schussel says, no YELLS, that “Unabomber” Ted Kaczynski was a leftist, on account of him being an environmentalist and the Left being associated with environmentalism. Putting aside the fact that she implicitly labels the Right as the pro-pollution party – no secret, of course, it’s just nice to see right-wingers being so frank about their perverted lust to destroy the world – if you’d ever read his famous “Unabomber Manifesto” you’d know that he specifically attacks Leftists in it. Of course to do that, first you’d have to know how to read.

  40. Dan Someone said,

    April 18, 2007 at 17:17

    I realize that it’s never going to happen on Faux News, but wouldn’t it be stellar if someone — perhaps one of the token pseudoliberals they occasionally get on to be a punching bag for Hannity — was on with Lil Debbie, and in response to whatever bilious drivel she frothed, just quoted her responses to the comments on her website? YOU KNOW, THE ALL CAPS VITRIOL?

  41. Dan Someone said,

    April 18, 2007 at 18:14

    Hey, and if you need an antidote from the posturing and shrying of the punditosphere, read this blog entry from someone actually at VT. Real human thoughts and emotions.

  42. Dan said,

    April 18, 2007 at 19:19

    My favorite comment is the most succinct. In response to someone questioning Debbie’s outrage at the photo, colin5656 sez:

    You just don’t recognize appeasement do you?

    So, if we ever photograph any of the world’s Muslims when they’re not directly engaging in Islamomexihomojihad, bin Laden has already won?

    Or perhaps just the simpler “WAPO PHOTOG == CHAMBERLAIN!!!!!1!1!”

  43. ortho_bob said,

    April 18, 2007 at 19:52

    The problem with the name “Costco Coulter” is that it implies Coulter is upmarket of something, even something as wretched as Lil’ Debbie. Coulter just happened to get on the “I’m A Lady” Wingnut bandwagon first. In a saner world they’d both be slugging it out with Pammy Atlas for the last pot of lime-green eye shadow in the expired cosmetics aisle at Dollar Tree.

  44. bl0ndej0n said,

    April 18, 2007 at 20:36

    “Here’s a profile of many of the victims of the shooting. Take a look, then decide if everyone in the Virginia Tech photo should be a white Christian”

    The ones with Muslim names are obviously co-conspirators.

  45. RubDMC said,

    April 19, 2007 at 0:43

    Well said, anangryoldbroad. Your comments point to issues beyond those most immediate.

    As for “Costco Coulter,” I agree with another poster in a related thread who objects to demeaning what is, by many accounts, a decent employer – if you care to shop/work at big box/wholesale clubs.

    How ’bout Cut Rate Coulter, since she’s available for a fraction of the cost per throw? L’il Debbie Cakes also works.

  46. Ben said,

    April 19, 2007 at 2:55

    Hey, which do you think Deb is more upset by: the Virginia college students who got killed this week? Or the Teheran kindergarteners who didn’t? Just wonderin’.

  47. RobW said,

    April 19, 2007 at 10:07

    The problem with the name “Costco Coulter� is that it implies Coulter is upmarket of something

    Coulter gets $30k a pop for speaking. For now.

  48. Duros62 said,

    April 19, 2007 at 18:01

    Debbie, honey, I just have one thing to say…

  49. Sadly, No! » Famous Lookalikes: Wingnut Edition said,

    May 14, 2007 at 13:49

    [...] Islamophobe Debbie Schlussel = Motley Crue vocalist Vince [...]

  50. ma486zda said,

    September 3, 2008 at 3:25

    c297t

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